2023 has been a very interesting year so far. We are only in week five of the year. A lot has happened in this short year. When the year started, I was excited about everything I would accomplish. After a month, I am checking in on the progress I have made so far and adjusting my expectations. If you are feeling like me, this blog post is for you.
This blog post will explore five things we can all do to bridge this phase in our lives. Check out some of the "Her Plan" posts for tips and resources for having your best year yet. #1: Take care of yourself With everything going on in our lives, it is crucial that we prioritize our needs. Taking care of our mental and physical health is very important. Remember that you can only pour from a full cup. Questions to consider
#2: Accept things that are out of your control The biggest lesson I am learning this year is that so many things are out of my control. I made plans, some things worked, and life happened. It can be tough to accept the fact that things might turn out differently than we planned. Questions to consider
#3: Adapt your plans and be open to more change As the end of the first month came, I got nervous about where I was with my goals for the year. I have had to focus on adapting to things that I did not plan for. From my professional life, I know that a good plan is one that can change with real-world circumstances. Questions to consider
#4: Connect with people around you The people in our lives are very important. Especially when life gets complicated, you need to surround yourself with good people who care about you. It is very easy to forget the power of human connections. Questions to consider
#5: Keep going and chasing your dreams We need to continue working towards our goals. I know that when things go differently than we planned, it is easy to abandon our plans. Once you have updated your plans, it is a good time to recommit and start taking steps toward your goals. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts You are doing great!!! Remind yourself of the fact that you have everything it takes to be successful when your mind starts trying to tell you that you are failing. We all still have 11 months to experience and accomplish great things in 2023. Let's keep going.
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For the past six months, there has been news of large tech companies letting go of many employees. As someone who works for a big Tech company, I have been holding my breath until the time comes for my company. And then, on Friday, January 20th, the day came when thousands of people were let go.
Fortunately, I was not impacted by the recent layoffs. However, a lot of people that I have worked with were affected. My heart goes to everyone who has lost their jobs over the last months. Special thanks to all the amazing people that I have worked with over the past years. I typically like my blog posts to be practical and solution-oriented. However, in today's blog post, I would like to share my current thoughts. Working in Germany vs. the US When I worked in Germany, there was mutual respect between employer and employee. Having three months to break the contract we made with each other ensured the decision was well thought through and planned. The first time I saw someone terminated on the spot and sent home shocked me to the core. I could not imagine the feeling you have after working for a company for so many years and them letting you go like that. My husband warned me about being realistic about how quickly things can change at work. Letting our work define who we are Tying our identity to our jobs is very easy. We spend a lot of our time working and have come to believe that our professional worth is tied to a job. One of my coworkers shared how much seeing people being let go reminded her that she needed to re-discover her identity outside work. I have been working very hard over the past two years, and I am worried that my job is playing a more prominent role in my life than I would like it to be. The role that being employed plays in our lives A lot of us still need to work for our financial security. The first thing I did when other Tech companies started laying people off was to create a financial contingency plan for our family. I grew up poor, so surviving on less money is not as scary to me. However, now that we have a child, I want to do everything in my power to provide all the good things he needs. Being financially stable is more important at this phase of my life, and losing my job at this time would have caused us to make some serious changes. Final Thoughts: Where do we go from here? This past weekend I spent a lot of time reflecting on how we are all feeling and trying to figure out our next steps. The only thought that kept coming back to my mind was the importance of community in chaotic times like these. With everything happening that is out of our control, we need to be there for one another. If you ever need someone to talk to, please reach out to me. I am hoping for better times for everyone. At the time of writing this post, we have marked the end of the second week of 2023. It already feels like it has been a very long two weeks. Some of us are having the year we set out to have, and some are not yet there. As I wrapped up my day, I reflected on how hard we can be on ourselves for not following our new goals, intentions, or resolutions for the year.
In this blog post, we will rekindle our fire for this year with the help of five thoughts. Check out some of the "Her Plan" posts for tips and resources for having your best year yet. #1: You still have 50 more weeks in 2023 The new year has just started, and there are many more weeks left in the year to accomplish your goals. Staying strong for the journey's length helps you be successful. With that being said, there are lessons that we can learn from how the last two weeks went. The main realization that I came to was that I am packing my calendar because I keep telling myself that I need to frontload all the work so I can have a more relaxed year. I need to allow myself to relax in line with my intention of settling down this year. Questions to reflect on
#2: You will need some patience Especially if you set bold goals for your year, you will need time and patience as you work towards them. The changes that we need to make in our lives in order to accomplish bold goals are very significant. Be patient with yourself and others around you. It is essential to keep working towards your goals and not give up on the next 50 weeks only because of how the first two weeks have been for you. Questions to reflect on
#3: You need to practice new behaviors When life gets busy, it is very easy to fall back and do things that come naturally to us. One of the things that became very clear this year is that I have been doing what I wanted to leave in 2022. I need to start learning new habits to have the year I want. Questions to reflect on
#4: You can learn valuable lessons from reflecting Taking the time to reflect on the last two weeks allows you to adjust for the coming weeks. One of the valuable lessons that I have learned about accomplishing goals is that it is important to check on your progress regularly. That way, you know the progress you are making and are aware of what you need to be doing differently. Questions to reflect on
#5: You have what it takes to have a great year Many of our worries and concerns come from a place of not believing that we can succeed. Some things will come to you more effortlessly, and others will take much more work. The truth is that you have what it takes. Keep believing that you will be successful and have a great year. Questions to reflect on
Final Thoughts I really wanted to write this blog post to encourage others and myself who need the extra spark at this time of the year. In a few months, we will look back on this time and the feeling we had and smile about the progress that we have made. Happy New Year, and Welcome to 2023! I wish you and your family a great year with many lovely memories. As we start this new year, I am very excited about the experiences, celebrations, and lessons we will learn.
In this blog post, I will share tips for starting your year right and share my goals for an incredible 2023. Check out some of my "Her Plan" posts to help you start your year right. How can you set yourself up for success in 2023? Having a comprehensive planning process is one of the foundational steps to setting goals that you will accomplish. The five steps below help me reflect on the past year and create a solid plan for the year ahead.
MC's Journey - My plan for 2023 This year feels very different for me. The last three years have focused on planning and working very hard to accomplish the best I can in all areas of my life. As I kick off this year, I really want it to be a year when I enjoy the great things in life and settle into my new phase. The thought of slowing down the pace is very new to me. I have a lot to learn about settling down and discovering my own unique way. Following the tradition over the last five years, I will share my goals for 2023 across the different important areas of my life. My theme for 2023 is "finding rest and reconnecting with myself. " Some of the high-level goals that I want to accomplish include the following:
Final Thoughts One of the practices that I learned a few years ago was to imagine you are at the end of the year and look back at your experiences. At the end of 2023, I would like to say the following things:
Time to Reflect
Great resources Check out some of my other posts that will help you start your year right Writing my final post of the year is always a special milestone for me. It symbolizes that we have made it through another year. Over the past years, I have made the practice of reflection and gratitude a part of my routine. I enjoy taking the year's final weeks off to reflect, rest and reset. Let's wrap up this year together!
In this blog post, I will share my highlights, the lessons I learned throughout this year, and my hopes for 2023. Check out my other "Her Plan" for tips and resources to help you plan and accomplish your goals. Questions for your reflection As we wrap up a very eventful year, I invite you to reflect on how things went.
MC's Journey: Reflecting on 2022 and hoping for 2023 At the beginning of this year, I identified my theme: to "be brave to take on great things and take care of myself.” As I reflect on how 2022 was for me, there have been many highlights and some lowlights that taught me valuable lessons. My Highlights When I set my goals, I had yet to learn how my year would go. I am very grateful for every good thing that has happened in my life. My top three highlights in 2022 are:
Lessons I learned from my lowlights Reflecting on this year with a growth mindset has helped me see all the lessons I learned from my lowlights and highlights. The top three lessons I learned this year are:
My hopes for 2023 As I dream and plan for next year, I am very excited about what the year will bring. I look forward to better caring for myself, creating new memories with my family, and connecting with great people. The lessons I learned in 2022 will guide me as I explore a new chapter on my journey. Final Thoughts - Thank you!!! I want to wrap up the year with an appreciation for your support throughout this year. Thank you for reading my blog posts, sharing your stories, encouraging me, and being a part of my journey in 2022. I'll see you in 2023. My first post will be on January 10! Take care of yourselves and enjoy life! Planning for the next year is very exciting. We get to dream about our aspirations and set goals that we want to accomplish. Reflecting and learning from our past is crucial as we prepare for our future. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons in 2022 that will guide me as I plan my 2023 goals.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I plan to do differently in 2023. Check out my other "Her Plan" for tips and resources to help you plan and accomplish your goals. Restart my planning routine Before the pandemic, I had a routine that I followed for my weekly, monthly, and quarterly planning. It helped me regularly check in on my goals and the progress I was making. As life got busy, I stopped having my planning routines. Although I kept working on my goals, I did not feel as connected to myself as I typically do. My 2023 Commitment
Take time to rest This year is the first time that I am starting a year and committing to rest. My typical mode is to plan to do as much as I can. Prioritizing rest will mean that I will have to change how I think about being productive. All my life, I have been equating rest with being lazy or wasting time. I need to redefine rest for myself as a way to preserve my most valuable resource - myself. My 2023 Commitment
Reconnect with people One of the side effects of the world changing and being very busy over the past three years is that I have been spending less time with people than I typically do. As someone who gets energized by connecting, sharing, and learning from people, something significant is missing in my life. In 2023, I look forward to more personal connections with amazing people. My 2023 Commitment
Take care of my mind and body Over the past years, I have been dealing with gastritis and back pain. I have wanted to spend time working with a doctor to understand the cause and treat it versus taking medication. It is important to me to feel psychically stronger again. Alongside my psychical health, I also want to improve my mental wellbeing. There are some experiences in my life that I have not yet processed. At the end of 2023, I want to feel the best I have felt in years. My 2023 Commitment
Chase my passions and dreams Over the past months, I have been thinking about some of the passion projects I have been dreaming of. For the last three years, I have focused more on doing things that provide stability for my family and me. It is time for me to tap into the ideas and explore how to make them a reality. I am excited to feel the new energy that comes with following my dreams. My 2023 Commitment
Time for Reflection What did you wish you did differently in 2022 and why? What are you committing to doing differently in 2023? At the end of 2023, what would you be proud that you did? Over the last weeks, I have been in a reflective mood. As I reflect on this year, there were things that I did differently that helped me have a very successful year. The greatest lesson I learned is that we have to do things differently to accomplish our big goals. There is a well-known saying, "what got you here will not get you there." I needed to get comfortable changing how I approached working towards my goals.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I did differently this year. Check out my other "Her Plan" for tips and resources to help you achieve your goals. Focused my energy on one area of my life I typically do an excellent job balancing multiple things and working on many goals simultaneously. However, this year, I knew that I needed to be ultra-focused on work to accomplish my goals. Being a working parent requires you to make lots of choices. This year I had a great opportunity at work, and I knew that it was the right thing for our family for me to prioritize work. Asked for and accepted help Very early this year, I realized that I was overwhelmed with everything I was doing and needed help. For the whole of 2021, I cared for our son and worked. This arrangement had to be changed in 2022, given my increased responsibilities at work. Asking for and getting help is not something that comes easily to me. I opened up and asked for additional help from my husband, hired a nanny, and then found a daycare for our son. Having a support community freed up my time and my mind. I could accomplish as much as I did because I knew our son was in great hands. Spent Money on Fun Experiences In some of my previous posts, I have shared that I have struggled with spending money on myself and fun things. This year, I permitted myself to enjoy the finer things in life a little. I really enjoyed the vacations we went on as well as the freedom I felt by ordering meals, so I wasn't cooking all the time. When I think about my year, I am delighted that we made wonderful memories this year with our family. Accepted that I have to pause working on some of my Goals In 2020 when I had a baby, I took a break from making videos for my YouTube channel. I thought I would get back to creating videos in 2021. After returning, I decided to focus on work and caring for my baby. As I planned for 2022, I wanted to relaunch my channel. However, I was stretched thin with all my responsibilities at work and as a mother. Instead of being hard on myself, I gave myself permission not to work on this goal. It was the first time that I did not progress on a plan I set, and I am totally fine with it. This was the right thing for me to do to thrive this year. Learned from Setbacks Especially when we have a lot of growth, there will be some setbacks. I approached things that went differently than I had planned with an open mind. I was looking for the lessons I could learn from them. My typical reaction would have been to be hard on myself and keep thinking about what I should have done differently to avoid them. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons from this mindset change. Final Thoughts 2022 has been a very long year for a lot of us. As we close out this year, it is crucial to reflect on our growth. The lessons learned from our reflection will improve our lives next year. Time for Reflection What did you do differently this year? What difficult decisions did you need to make this year? What pleasantly surprised you this year? This week is Thanksgiving in the US. It is a great reminder to take time and reflect on what we are grateful for. Especially when life gets busy, and things are going differently than we planned, Gratitude is a gift. 2022 has been a very eventful year for my family and me. This year, I want to celebrate the milestones and the people who have made this year special. We have a lot to be grateful for.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for this year. Check out my post on what I was grateful for halfway through 2022. #1: Having my awesome family There is something special about going through life with people that love and believe in you. I have been blessed with a son, husband, twin sister, mother, and my husband's family, whom I have known all my life. Although we live very far away from our family, we get to celebrate key moments together and be there for one another. #2: Having a job As someone who lives in the Bay Area, where the news of companies laying off people has been a daily occurrence over the last few weeks, I am grateful that I still have a job. I have been thinking about the fact that it is out of my control, and worrying will not help. Being employed is something I never took for granted, and now, even more than ever. #3: Getting Promoted This year has been one of the most remarkable years in my career. Over the past four years, I have been working very hard toward setting myself up for success at the company where I work at. Seeing the results of my work has been awesome. With the promotion, I felt my contribution was recognized and valued. I am grateful for being able to prioritize work this year. #4: Having people who support my career growth As I have experienced great success in my career this year, I have been reflecting on the amazing people who have supported me on my career journey so far. I still remember the first person to give me an internship at a bank that kicked off my career in program management, the person that gave me my first job when I graduated from university, and the Manager that I now have who has been an advocate for me over the past 18 months. I am grateful for everyone who has supported my career in any way. #5: Working with a great Team The people we work with really make a difference in our experience at work. I have had the opportunity to work with amazing people, especially in my current role. Every day I learn a lot from the people around me and share my knowledge with them. I am grateful for my amazing team. #6: Having certain privileges in life Especially this year, I have been reminded that I get to live the life I live today due to the fact that I have certain privileges. I'm grateful for my education, the countries I have lived in, my socioeconomic status, and the opportunities I have had in my life. I often reflect on my life and how much things have changed over the past 21 years. I know that I would not be where I am today if not for #7: Having a child-care for our son When our son turned two years old, we were excited for him to start daycare. Especially since our family is very far away, we needed to find a child-care solution where he could be around other kids and develop strong social skills. We were very fortunate to have found a bilingual German and English Daycare around us. It is very important to us that he learns multiple languages as he grows older. #8: Being Healthy This year more than ever, we saw a lot of people around us get sick. Our family has stayed mostly healthy throughout the year. Seeing what others are going through has renewed my Gratitude for our health. Especially with a small kid, watching other kids get seriously ill has made me not complain about minor illnesses. #9: Being able to visit beautiful Places As a family, we are committed to traveling and enjoying the world's beauty. This year we got to travel to the UK and San Diego. Both of those vacations helped us see new places and appreciate how incredible the world is. We are also very fortunate to live in California, where we are surrounded by many beautiful places that we are yet to explore. #10: Being alive and seeing another day I have never taken my health for granted, and with everything happening in the world, I am very grateful for life. I do not want the hope for progress in my life to make me forget that I have a good life now. Every day that I get to live is a tremendous gift. Final Thoughts: MC's Journey Over the past four years, I have been more intentional about documenting what I am grateful for. Gratitude helps reduce my worrying and fills me with hope for the future. Going through the exercise reassures me that things will work out perfectly as they have in the past, even if my plans change. Time for Reflection What are five things that you are grateful for in 2022? Who are three people that you are grateful for in 2022? How will you make Gratitude a part of your life? One of the most sought topics in career development is professional branding. The reason is that many of us are either already working on our professional brands or wonder if we need one. As I have studied personal and professional branding, I realized that they go hand in hand. With that in mind, we will focus on the impact of our brand at work.
In this blog post, we will explore the top five myths around your professional brand. In my previous post titled "My approach to building my personal brand," I shared some tools and resources that helped me to get started. Setting the foundation: What is professional branding?
Myth #1: You don't have a professional brand The truth is that we all have a professional brand or reputation. Even if we are not doing anything additional to doing our jobs, people have a perception of who we are professionally. Especially in today's world, where we change jobs often and are out in constantly changing professional roles, our brand is crucial. Viewing your professional brand as something you are responsible for is important. Strategies to consider
Myth #2: You only need to have a professional brand if you want to get promoted There are different career phases where our goals might be something other than upward mobility or promotion. Your professional brand can bring you additional benefits, such as being recognized as an expert in your field, expanding your network, and being able to give back to others professionally. Strategies to consider
Myth #3: You can only build your professional brand at work Our professional brand can serve us outside of our core jobs as well as inside our companies. I had yet to learn the power of what I do outside work and how it can impact my professional brand in a great way. I did three main things outside work that elevated my professional brand. The first was starting my blog, where I share my thoughts, experiences, and expertise. The second was building a professional network by joining program management industry communities when I moved to the US. And the third one was furthering my education by doing some certification courses and learning about the new professional environment I was in now. Strategies to consider
Myth #4: Your professional brand can only be built after you have worked for a long time When I started my career in program management, I struggled with not seeing anyone like me, who I admired because of their professional brand. The more visible people had very different paths and had been in their careers for multiple decades. Only over the past years have I seen a beautiful niche of folks in different career stages talking about their careers and showcasing their brand. I now know that there are many flavors of professional brands. Strategies to consider
Myth #5: Maintaining your professional brand is hard work The truth is that some amount of intentionality and work goes into maintaining our professional brand. Your professional brand should grow and evolve as your career changes. As with everything in life, your brand is not something you pay attention to once and then forget. I constantly seek inspiration and try different things regarding my professional brand in addition to doing great work. Strategies to consider
MC's Journey: Discovering and maintaining my professional brand At the start of my career in Germany, I did not know that my professional brand was something I should have cared about. I thought my professional success would come from my focus on doing great work, which was exactly what I did. When I moved to the US almost eight years ago, I realized I needed to build my professional brand. I started developing my brand as I worked with a coach and then took steps to maintain it over time. My professional brand has evolved as I have transitioned to new jobs, changed roles, and gotten promoted. I'm currently thinking about where I will take my brand next. Great Resources Sharing the books I read that changed how I think about my brand
Time for Reflection What does personal or professional branding mean to you? Are you actively building your brand? If not, what is standing in the way? What three things would you like to do in 2023 to grow and maintain your brand? One of the traits that I admire in people is their ability to dream and work toward the things they desire. As life gets serious, it is easy to get caught up with "doing things" and forget to dream about the future. I like to think that the things I dream of today will be my reality someday. It is crucial always to continue dreaming.
In this blog post, we will explore ways to allow ourselves to dream of our desired future. Dream about things no one around you has ever done When I speak to immigrants or first-generation folks, they often share that it is difficult to dream of things you did not see people around you do. The ones who have allowed themselves to be inspired and dream beyond their current environment. have gone ahead and done great things. Many people outside of our circles have done great things and can be an inspiration. I go out of my way to look for inspiring stories and broaden my perspective. Questions to reflect on
Dream about things that you do not yet know how to attain People like me who are planners might need to do more self-work to get comfortable dreaming about things without planning. It is interesting how we sometimes limit ourselves to only dream about things we know how to get or accomplish. Allowing ourselves to dream about something and then later figuring out how to get it would give us more freedom to dream big. One of my coaches encouraged me to write down about 30 things I want and not limit myself to what I think is possible. It sounds very simple, but I still tried to be rational while dreaming. Questions to reflect on
Dream about things that people have told you that you can't accomplish A lot of us grew up in communities where people told us what they thought we could or could not accomplish. Those things translate into limiting beliefs about what we can achieve in life. As I have grown older, I have been working on freeing myself from the words that were said to me as a child. I know now that those words have no hold on my life unless I believe them. Questions to reflect on
Dream about doing things that you are afraid of Fear is a big reason why we do not let ourselves dream and chase those big dreams. At a conference for young women that I attended a while ago, a high school student talked about how being afraid of who she might become held her back. I asked to chat with her after the conference because I wanted to learn more, and she shared that being very successful scared her. Her words resonated with me because I have been afraid of things working out too well. Another fear I know has been holding me back from dreaming is the fear of failure. Questions to reflect on
Encourage your children to dream When I hear kids talk about their dreams for the future, it gives me hope. They are born with the ability to dream, and it is our responsibility to continue to let the flame burn. Refrain from allowing your adult mind that has been trained to only think of what is possible in your current circumstance to limit your ability to dream. Let them talk about their big dreams and hope with them that they come true. Questions to reflect on
Final Thoughts: MC's Reflection Lately, I have been feeling like I have accomplished many things that I dreamed about, for which I am beyond grateful. I now yearn for new dreams and something I can work towards. I have been too busy working towards my goals and have yet to allow myself to take time to dream. I want to confidently respond when someone asks me what my top dreams are. As we wrap up the year, I have made some time over the next weeks to dream, and I hope you do the same too. Over the past 21 years, I have had the opportunity to celebrate hundreds of holidays in Germany and the US. As I have lived in multiple countries, I have adopted new holidays and also created my traditions. Especially as we prepare for the busiest holiday season, I have been reflecting on the exciting and different holidays that I have experienced.
In this blog post, I will share what I learned about holidays living in Germany and the US. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Christmas in Germany The first Christmas I spent in Germany was very different. To start with, it was the first winter I experienced, and it snowed a lot. Secondly, I was about to learn that Germans celebrate Christmas very differently. When I was growing up in Nigeria, the major festivities were on December 25th, and on the 26th, we got to continue celebrating with our extended family. Now that I was in Germany, I learned that people celebrated on Christmas eve. I lived in Germany for 14 years and never got used to it. However, one aspect of Christmas that I really loved were the Christmas Markets. I made it a point to visit the ones around me every single year. It became a part of my Christmas traditions in Germany. New Year's traditions in Germany In my early years in Germany, I was very surprised at how people celebrated the start of the year. I learned about many families' traditions, such as coming together and eating special meals on New Year's Eve. This was very different for me growing up in Nigeria, where we typically spent New Year's eve in Church. After 21 years of living abroad, I have adopted enjoying family time and special meals to mark the start of the new year. Discovering "Karneval" in Cologne Around the world, many countries celebrate Carnival. Nigeria is not one of those countries. I had only seen a place transform into a big party city for a few days every year when I moved to Cologne in 2010. Everyone comes out to celebrate Carnival and the traditions around it. At work, they asked us to come in costumes. I had never worn one before and did not even know how to choose what I wanted to dress as. So I went as myself without a costume. I admire people who plan their outfits for months and are passionate about it. Easter traditions in Germany and the US Growing up in Nigeria, the Easter celebration focused on the religious aspects and was a time for families to come together. The first time I heard about the Easter bunny in Germany, I did not really understand the connection. When I moved to the US, I learned about the Easter egg hunt, kids dressing up, and other Easter traditions. Interestingly, I now forget Easter celebrations since I moved to the US because it is not a holiday, unlike in Germany and Nigeria. Celebrating the 4th of July in the US When the stores start filling up with items with the American flag, I am reminded that Independence Day is approaching. The traditions where people spend time with family and friends outside are awesome to see. In some cities, there are parades and more connections to the historical events around the celebrations. Interestingly, I really like the time off that happens around this time and spending time with people I like, but I rarely think about the day's symbolism. Halloween in the US Celebrating Halloween is becoming something that many countries have learned from the US. However, the way everything changes once fall sets in to remind people that Halloween is around the corner is very American. I am not too fond of scary things, so this is a holiday that I skip. As I navigate holidays as a mother, this is one where I ask myself how I can find a way for our son to participate in the kid's activities around Halloween. This year, our son's daycare is hosting a Halloween parade. I need help thinking about the costumes that he can wear. One part of Halloween that my Nigerian upbringing is stopping me from getting used to is Trick & Treat, where kids go door to door and gather candy. There is just something about accepting candy from strangers that raises alarms in my mind. I am smiling as I think about it. Thanksgiving in the US Thanksgiving was a very new holiday to me when I moved to the US in 2015. It is not a holiday that is celebrated in Germany and Nigeria. Over the past years, I have been learning about the holiday and its transitions. The size of the turkey was one of the first scary things I experienced on my first thanksgiving here. There is something special about celebrating with family and friends. In our home, we celebrate thanksgiving with Chicken and a Nigerian rice dish. That is our way of combining our Nigerian heritage on this very American holiday. Gifts are a huge deal for Christmas in the US The other day, I told my husband how surprised I was that advertisements for Christmas gifts had already started in October. In the US, people really take gift-giving very seriously. I still remember my first Christmas here when we visited some extended family, and they spent considerable time exchanging gifts. My husband and I quickly decided we wanted to celebrate the season and not be caught up in the gift-buying craze in November and December. Learning about other people's holidays One of the great benefits of being an immigrant is that we get to meet a lot of people who have cultures and religions that are different from ours. Over the years, I have learned about many cultural and religious holidays. Among the differences, there are some commonalities in how we celebrate holidays. I have found that food always plays an important role. Final Thoughts As immigrants, we have created a great combination of the holidays we celebrate in the countries we grew up in and the new ones in the countries where we now live. The merging of cultures and traditions makes our experiences very unique. I am excited to learn more about holiday traditions from the places where I live and the people around me. About four years ago, the women in my Mastermind Group decided to read "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown. It has been a book that has changed my perspective on many things. Since I learned about vulnerability as a sign of strength and not weakness, it has helped me get comfortable with my feelings and emotions.
In this blog post, I will share areas of my life where I am allowing myself and the impact it has had on me. Starting point: What does being Vulnerable mean? I like Brené Brown's definition of vulnerability as "the feeling we get during times of uncertainty, risk, or emotional exposure. This includes times when we're showing our feelings, and we're not sure what people will think, and times when we really care about something and people will know that we're sad or disappointed when it doesn't work out." Being Vulnerable at work Thinking about being vulnerable at work is something that we are trained not to do. Acknowledging that there are many things that I know and others that I do not know is difficult. I have learned that it is ok to be vocal about it. Another area where I am vulnerable at work is sharing how much I struggled when I started working at a company that many people think is a dream company. I felt a lot of shame about the fact that I was not living the dream. Talking about my experience helped me overcome the sadness I felt and move on. Being Vulnerable in relationships It is weird, but even when we love people, sometimes it feels tough to be vulnerable with them. There is always a fear of being taken for granted when you bear it all and share how you feel. As my relationships have matured, I have had to decide to put myself out there and show my true feelings. I had to learn not to hold back when it came to love and not be afraid of disappointment. Being Vulnerable as a mother Especially when I talk to other mothers, I am candid about areas where I am not doing things people expect of a "perfect mother." I openly share the challenges I have faced so far on my journey. It is scary to talk about the challenges I had breastfeeding my son in the first three weeks of his life, challenges sleep training, dealing with mum guilt, and much more. Being vulnerable has helped me connect with other amazing women. Being Vulnerable about my background For the longest time, I did not feel comfortable sharing about the fact that I grew up poor and was homeless at one point in my life in Germany. I was very self-conscious and thought people might look at me differently if they knew. This was indeed a story I told myself. When I got the courage to share, I learned more about other people's similar experiences. My background contributed a lot to who I am today. Being Vulnerable about my insecurities One of the most difficult blog posts I wrote was when I shared about dealing with my insecurities. My weight gain was something I needed to come to terms with over the last few years. I could not believe that I actually wrote and published a blog post when I shared about it. It helped me see how much it mattered to me and the fact that everything was still alright. Talking about my insecurities is still hard, but I am learning to push through the discomfort. Being Vulnerable about my fears In my birthday blog post last week, I shared ten things about myself, and for some reason, I wanted to share one of the fears on my mind. I shared about the fact that I am almost worried that no one will show up to events that I organize or read my blog posts. It is something that has held me back from taking big steps. Writing it down reminded me that it is real and I can overcome my fears. Being Vulnerable about my dreams Especially in the Nigerian culture, you are told not to share about your dreams. People have different thoughts about why you should not share your dreams. I always wondered, what if the goals and dreams I share never come true? The fact that people know and can see my disappointment makes me not want to share. I am being vulnerable by sharing my yearly goals, the progress I am making, and areas where I still have work to do. Final Thoughts Being vulnerable has helped me be my whole self and connected me with fabulous people. You never know who you are helping by showing up as yourself and accepting that no one is perfect. We all have the opportunity to continue learning and growing. October is a month of celebration in our home. We kicked it off with our wedding anniversary, our Son's birthday, and the grand finale is, my birthday. This year, I am marking my special day by celebrating who I am and sharing a little bit about me.
In this blog post, I will share some experiences, thoughts, and fears that make me who I am today. Check out my other "Her Story" blog posts to learn more about me. #1: I am German-Nigerian It took me a while to own and celebrate both parts of my cultural identity. After I moved to the US over seven years ago, it finally became clear that both German and Nigerian cultures have influenced who I am today. My love for family and community is Nigerian, whereas my sense of responsibility at work is very German. #2: I am a Wife and Mother The two most important men in my life are my Son and husband. I am very fortunate to be married to someone I have known all my life. It is a very special gift that I never take for granted. Two years ago, we were blessed with our Son. Every day I find comfort in the home we have built for ourselves and our Son. #3: I get to celebrate my birthday every year with someone special I am one of those people who was blessed to be born with a birthday mate. My twin sister and I celebrate this wonderful occasion every year. It is very special to have a sibling with whom you share a lot with. One of the questions I get asked the most as a twin is if we can feel the other person's feelings and know if something is wrong. The truth is that there is a special connection that I can't explain. #4: My sister and I were raised by a single mom Our Mother gave birth to us in Germany and then moved back to Nigeria with us when we were 18 months old. Growing up was fun and challenging at the same time. I learned many valuable lessons about being a resilient woman from my Mother. When I look at how far my sister and I have come in our lives so far, I can't believe it given how we grew up. #5: One of my greatest fears is that no one shows up to my "party" In my job, I get to organize and lead various events. One of my steady fears is that no one will sign up and join. I stop myself from looking at the numbers of how many people signed and enjoy the surprise. I also tell myself that it's not about how many people show up but the value they get from being there. #6: Working towards my financial goal is one of my motivators I grew up poor but with some privileges in Nigeria. One promise I made to myself when I moved to Germany at age 15 was that I would be intentional with my finances and work towards building wealth. It started with me saving a very small amount from the small jobs I worked at when I was in university. I have kept my saving discipline going until now. As I earned more money, I set more aside and invested in building the life I desired. #7: My purpose in life is to support women around me When people ask me what I am passionate about, I always say, "helping women thrive in their personal and professional lives." I take the forums and platforms I have to connect with other women very seriously. Especially being raised mostly among women, I am a cheerleader for those who are working towards living their best lives. #8: My Career has taken me places that I never imagined When I graduated, I had no idea I would be where I am today, almost thirteen years later. I chose to be a program manager in Tech, which was the right path for me. I have gotten to sit in rooms and lead programs I never saw myself leading. Over the past three years, I have had the privilege of leading Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programs as my contribution to making the world a better place. #9: I wear my heart on my sleeves For the longest time, I thought my emotions, empathy, and quickness to tears were weaknesses. I have learned to appreciate that it makes me who I am. Especially with my strong personality, I need to balance it with care for people around me. I accept all the tears that I cry as I feel all the emotions. #10: I am grateful and proud of how far I have come Every year around my birthday, I reflect on my life over the past year and the experiences that I have been through. This past year has been filled with many successes in my personal and professional life. It has taken a lot of sacrifices and has taught me a lot. Final Thoughts - My wish for my new year One thing that I realized is that I need to start dreaming about my future. I have accomplished many of the big things I had already wished for and planned for. This is a great time to get inspired and refresh my bold goals. As we celebrate our son's 2nd birthday this month, I am beyond grateful for the great gift and experiences over the last two years. I want to take the time to reflect on my journey and the lessons I have learned. My life has changed a lot since "Mother" was added to my identity.
In this blog post, I will share the pivotal experiences of my motherhood journey in year two. If you would like to see how I felt after my first year of motherhood, see my reflections here. #1: Experiencing changes after our son turned one Motherhood has been one of the most immersive journeys in my life. It demands a lot from you mentally and physically. I don't know what it was, but my brain seemed to regain capacity when our son crossed the 12-month mark. I felt like I didn't have to think about his every need as much as I did in the first months. #2: Trusting another person to care for our son For the first 14 months of our son's life, my husband and I cared for him on our own while we both worked full-time. I don't know how we did it. We know that it was the safest solution as infection levels were still high where we live. At the beginning of this year, I looked at the goals I wanted to accomplish professionally and knew we needed some help. We are fortunate to be able to have a nanny that comes to our home for a few hours a week. It allowed me to focus on work and know he was well cared for. This was one of the best decisions I made this year. #3: Integrating Work and Motherhood Typically we hear about work-life balance. That assumes that we can hold a balance between work and life. I had to learn to work towards integration and not seek balance. It took me a while to accept that there will always be one aspect of my life that demands more of my attention, and I'll need to be agile. I am now ok with the fact that I can flex how I spend my time and thrive. #4: Learning to prioritize my wellbeing and goals There are so many different aspects of my life that I wanted to continue prioritizing even though my life has changed a lot in the last two years. I am very happy that I can continue writing my weekly blog posts, even with being a mother. Another aspect that I prioritized was growing my career, and I am very happy that I did that. One area where I am still learning and need to do better is taking care of myself. #5: Dealing with "Mum guilt" There is so much pressure to be a perfect mother. I keep asking myself what that actually means. Especially in an age where we get to see aspects of people's lives on social media, it can feel very intimidating when you see mothers that look like they are doing everything so effortlessly. I accepted that I am the best mother for AC. As a working mother, there are things that I need to do differently, given the time that I have available to me. I stopped feeling bad that I could spend a finite amount of time with him during the week and that I could not do all the fun activities with him. The truth is that he is having fun and developing beautifully. The pressure that I was putting myself under was totally unnecessary. #6: Introducing our son to our family Due to the pandemic, we had to wait for 20 months after he was born until we could travel to see our family. Words cannot describe the feeling I had when our son finally got to meet our family. We traveled from the US to the UK and spent three whole weeks with different family members. Hearing our son now call the names of our family members when he sees their pictures is very special. #7: Learning about what a good Father looks like Watching my husband be a great father taught me what Fatherhood means. I did not grow up with a father, so this experience has been very new. Seeing our son interact with his dad and soak up all the love warms my heart up. I feel very fortunate to have a partner who is very involved in raising our son. #8: Finding support from the Mothers around me There is something special about being about to share stories, get ideas, and be supported by the other mothers in my community. I have had the opportunity to learn so much and share with others. It helps to know that others are experiencing similar things and that we are all on our own learning journeys. #9: Watching our son develop his passion for music As a parent, a lot of people ask you what your child is passionate about. For the longest time, we were not sure what it was, and then we noticed him enjoying music. He started dancing every time music came on. Months went by, and my husband noticed that our son enjoyed watching people playing the saxophone. As a great father, he got our son his first toy saxophone. Our little boy has memorized all the moves and plays with his saxophone for hours every day. It is amazing to see him love music so much, and I'm looking forward to seeing how his passion develops. #10: Growing my capacity to love every day When people tell you that you discover a new type of love when you become a parent, they are absolutely correct. No matter what challenges we face as we navigate the complex journey of raising a child in America, we would not have it any other way. Every single day, we are filled with love for our son. Final Thoughts Being a mother has definitely made me better in my personal and professional life. The most significant change is that I have gotten more empathy for people. I have always been a compasionate person. However, I now have empathy for people even when I don't totally understand their backgrounds and experiences. I judged people more and now find myself thinking, let everyone live their lives. On my 21-year journey of living abroad, I have had some fun experiences. The experiences have made my journey very enjoyable and taught me many valuable lessons. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my journey would be like.
In this blog post, I will share ten things that have made me smile on my Relocation journey so far. Check out my other "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Meeting people from new countries and backgrounds Moving and living in different countries has helped me meet many great people. Interestingly, after all these years, I still remember many people I met on my journey. My favorite part of meeting new people is learning about them and their cultural backgrounds. There is so much beauty in the different cultures that exist in the world. I am still learning a lot even after this long. #2: Discovering new food Growing up in Nigeria, I grew to appreciate great food. We enjoyed local Nigerian foods and some international food that made its way via expats living in Nigeria. Moving to Germany, I could enjoy some German food, taste authentic Italian food, learn about different varieties of African dishes and discover Turkish food for the first time. And then, years later, when I moved to the US, I tasted Mexican food and lots of seafood for the first time. #3: Watching International sports - World cup and The Olympics Every World Cup and Olympics brings a lot of excitement. There is something magical about seeing the countries I care about come together and cheer their teams on. I still remember watching the World Cup after moving to Germany and supporting the Nigerian Super Eagles team. Then as years passed, I started supporting Nigeria and Germany at international sports events. This year will be different as Nigeria did not qualify for the World Cup. #4: Learning new languages Speaking new languages helped me integrate into the new countries that I was living in. Life changed for the best when I could communicate with people around me. It took years for me to understand jokes in German. Once I did, I understood the culture a little bit better. #5: Traveling to new countries and cities Over the last 21 years, I have had the opportunity to visit some amazingly beautiful cities and countries. Living in Germany, many places were accessible via train, which was very convenient. Since I moved to the US, I have been fortunate to visit new countries for work, go on road trips and explore more than I did on the earlier part of my journey. #6: Sharing my experiences with others My blog started with the desire to share my story and build a community of women who support one another on their journey. It has been great to hear other people's stories of living abroad and the lessons they have learned. I celebrate every woman who has forged her path in different countries, overcome challenges, and is thriving. #7: Being Inspired to do new things One of the great things that living abroad has provided me is it has expanded my perspective. There are so many things that I never imagined experiencing and would not have if I had stayed in Nigeria. I enjoy seeing people doing extraordinary things that I aspire to do. I now know I can accomplish greatness and work towards it. #8: Sharing a part of my journey with my twin sister When my sister moved to Germany to be with me in 2003, I was over the moon. Life felt different; I had my person who would be my companion on this journey. We created a lot of great memories together and went through a lot. I can still remember the moment when we had a lot of fun and laughter. I feel very fortunate to have been able to experience a part of my journey with my twin sister. #9: Discovering myself I moved back to Germany when I was fifteen and still had much growing up. It has been fun to discover who I am and the identities that make me who I am. I feel very fortunate to get to know a lot about myself. Living abroad has given me a lot of time to shape my likes and dislikes. #10: Teaching our son aspects of our culture Lately, I have been thinking about the unique opportunity that my husband and I have as we raise our son in multiple cultures. It has been fun to start teaching him aspects of our culture and also that of the country where we live. I am looking forward to seeing the mix of beautiful cultures that he will grow up knowing. Final Thoughts Being an immigrant definitely has its ups and downs. I am very grateful for all the great experiences that have brought me joy. Celebrating these moments makes me remember them like they were yesterday. As we progress and grow in our lives, we experience new things. Interestingly, I did not think about all the additional transitions I will have to go through as a Mother. Now I am here and learning how to manage my emotions and adapt to changes in our lives. I am also very aware that this is only the beginning, and many more transitions are coming our way as parents. This is year two of a very long journey with our son.
In this blog post, I will share my experience and how I am preparing for this new phase in my life as a mother. MC's Journey: Navigating our Childcare changes Our son was born at the height of the pandemic, which meant that my husband and I had to start our journey as parents on our own. Our family lives far away, and with the travel restrictions, they could not come to visit us. As a result, we cared for our newborn on our own and continued to do so for the first 14 months of his life. I learned to navigate caring for him while working full-time from when he was 3,5 months old. At the beginning of 2022, when infection rates were lower where we live, we hired a nanny who came in for about sixteen hours a week while we covered the rest of the time. I am fortunate to work from home, which worked very well for us. Now that our son is turning two years old in a few weeks, we are ready to expand his social circle. My little baby is starting Daycare. We know that he is ready, and it is a part of his development. However, thinking about the transition has been very emotional for me. For the first time in his life, he will be away from my husband and I, in someone else's care outside of our home. How am I preparing myself for the transition? Educating myself Until we had a child, I had no idea how the school system in the US worked. I was a little more aware of how schools worked in Germany because I lived there for a long time and learned from my sister and friends who had kids. So, when we started talking about our son starting Daycare, my husband and I had to read up and talk to people around us. We are still learning a lot of new things. I am looking forward to expanding our community of parents as well. Accepting the feelings I have When people asked me in my early adulthood what my weakness was, I would say that I do not do well with changes. A few years ago, I realized that I have actually experienced a lot of change in my life and the change itself is not the issue. I now know that the impact of the change is what concerns me. Although I have accepted the change, I still feel emotional about everything that will be different due to the change. When I think about our son going to Daycare, I am very excited for him. However, the thought of him being away from us for hours a day makes me uneasy. I have been spending time thinking about what I am worried about and finding some techniques to help me adapt. Preparing myself We had about six months between when we enrolled our son in Daycare and when he is actually going to start. It has given me a lot of time to get prepared in my mind. If you know me, you know that I use preparation as a technique to address nervousness about new and significant milestones. I am very thankful that I have planning skills that I apply to get my mind ready for the change. Once I have a plan, I find embracing the changes in my life easier. Preparing my family With our son going to Daycare, all our routines will change. My husband and I have started talking about the adjustments we will make. The next area that I focused on was ensuring we have everything our son will need for Daycare. I was shopping for things as if he was going to college. It is important that we have the critical things covered for his first weeks in Daycare. We can then learn about what else we need and get those. This is all part of the learning journey that we are embarking on. Being thankful, brave, and hopeful I am embarking on this journey with a lot of excitement for our son, as well as looking forward to how much he will learn from Daycare and then school when the time comes. We are incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to care for our son at home over the past two years. I know that I will smile when I look back in a few months and remember how nervous I am now. As with other transitions, I know that we will thrive and succeed as a family. Final Thoughts I would like to wrap up this post by celebrating all the amazing parents and caretakers who are caring for children. It is a huge responsibility that grows exponentially every year. Being raised by a single mother and seeing my sister being a great mum, I have great role models who have gone before me. Thank you to all parents and caregivers !!! As the third quarter of the year comes to an end, it is a great time to check in on our goals and start preparing for next year. There is something powerful about this time of the year, summer is over in the northern hemisphere, the new school year has started, and we are ready for the final months of this year. A few years ago, I started aligning my personal planning timeline to the one I use at work. We kicked off planning for the next year already in August. This gives us enough time to reflect on our progress this year and sufficiently prepare for the next year.
In this blog post, we will start dreaming of the year we want to have in 2023 and check the progress we have made toward our goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life. 5 Questions to kick-off planning for 2023 #1: How will you prioritize your wellbeing? Our physical and mental wellbeing are the solid foundation that is needed to live an amazing life. By knowing what contributes to your wellbeing and then prioritizing it, you will have a great year. Strategies to consider
#2: What memories are you looking forward to creating with your family and friends? We are fortunate to have people we get to experience life with. Being intentional about spending time with the people we care about helps us build the best memories. Strategies to consider
#3: What brave thing do you want to do? You will be proud of being brave when you look back at the year. Challenge yourself to overcome your fears and be brave. There are so many experiences that still await us. Think about something you have always wanted to do and commit to completing in 2023. Strategies to consider
#4: What progress do you want to make at work or in your business? We spend a lot of time at work or in our business. It would be awesome to know that we are also making progress professionally. Being strategic about skills we need to learn and steps we want to take in our careers will yield the desired success. Strategies to consider
#5: What is on your financial vision board? Every step we take toward our financial goals will get us closer to financial independence. In 2023, you will have many opportunities to gain financial freedom and build wealth. Strategies to consider
MC's Journey: Progress update Q3 2022 These past months have gone by very quickly. I feel fortunate to be where I am in my life at the moment, even though I feel tired. Below, I will be reflecting on my goals and the progress I have made.
Final Thoughts As I reflected on my progress toward my goals, I realized that the biggest lesson I learned is to be patient and wait until it is the right time to do certain things. In order to make progress in one area of my life, I have had to accept that other areas will be on hold for a little while. I am learning to be ok with that, not be hard on myself, and celebrate my progress. 2022 has been a great year with lots of hard work, and I am seeing the rewards. Call to Action What are three things that you have enjoyed in the last three months of the year? What are you looking forward to over the next last three months of the year? What type of year would you like 2023 to be? As I progress in my career, I am learning a leadership skill that does not come naturally to me as someone who likes to be in control. Delegating tasks and responsibilities to people on my team is required for me to succeed professionally this year. At the beginning of the year, I realized I needed to actively work on letting go and trusting that others could get the work done. Over the past six months, I have built a team of six awesome people. Learning to delegate was a prerequisite for succeeding in this new career phase.
In this blog post, I will share the lessons I have learned on my journey and how my mindset has changed concerning delegating at work. Check out my other "Her Career" blog posts for tips and resources to help you thrive professionally. Lesson 1: Realizing that if I can keep working on everything myself without a team, then I am not growing The more we grow and gain leadership responsibility in our careers, the more our scope expands. With that comes the need to have multiple people working on delivering the growing scope. For the longest time, I thought I was showing my value by overworking and not realizing that people saw that as my scope was not large enough. While preparing for a promotion, one of my mentors advised me to think about how much more we could accomplish with a team of awesome people. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 2: Delegating to others helps them develop new skills Teaching and sharing my skills is an area of strength for me. However, I never connected with delegating as a way to teach and pass on knowledge to others. When you delegate tasks to people, you create space for them to acquire and practice new skills. I have also learned that there is a way to delegate correctly by offering coaching and support for your team members as they take on new tasks. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 3: Delegating makes space for me to focus on bigger things Thinking that I had to do everything myself kept my focus on the day-to-day tasks rather than being strategic. I really enjoy thinking about the big picture, being strategic, and planning for the longer term. However, before I started delegating and trusting my team to drive work, I did not have time to do the things I enjoyed. I recently worked on our 2023 plan for one of my programs, which gives me a lot of fulfillment. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 4: To be successful, you need to let people know that you want to work on delegating One practice that helps me when working towards a big goal is building a community of people who will support me on my journey. When I shared my goal to learn to delegate more to my extended team, they were very supportive, and one of them offered to be my accountability partner. People helped me keep my commitment as I worked towards my goal. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 5: Delegating is a continuous learning journey It is crucial for me to remind myself that the lessons I am learning about delegating are only the beginning. I am open to continuing to learn lessons, changing my mindset, and doing things differently to accomplish the best outcomes for my team. Learning and acquiring new leadership skills is something I enjoy doing, especially when I see the results. What results have I seen so far?
Great Resources When you ask someone where they are from or call home, you typically have some assumptions about how they might respond. One of the beauties of being an immigrant is that we get to define where our home is, and sometimes we have multiple places that we consider our home. The famous saying "home is where the heart is" has a very different meaning to me after living as an immigrant in multiple countries over 21 years.
In this blog post, I will share the evolution of how I think about home and the five lessons that I have learned on my journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Starting point: What does home mean to me? Over the past 21 years of living in multiple countries and cities, I have had to redefine what home means to me. At the beginning of my time in Germany, I thought Nigeria was home. It was where I had spent my childhood, and most of my family still lived. As the years progressed and I started growing my life in Germany, I began to feel Germany was home. It was where I had spent my young adulthood and started my serious life. Then the US became home once I planted my roots and went on to have our son here. Home is wherever I live, build memories, spend time with people I love, and do things I am destined to do. Answering the question about my heritage and home Although many of my friends also experienced this, especially living in Germany, I cannot believe that people thought it was acceptable to ask people questions about when they are returning home. There is no more effective way to let people know they are not welcome and do not belong than a question like that. Asking someone where they are from already lets them know that you think they are from a different place. I have gotten used to the questions and have educated people on alternative ways to phrase the question. However, the question of when I am going back to where I came from will never be ok. The truth is I am at home here or wherever we choose to live next. Finding and building my home When people talk about home, they associate it with a physical space. Throughout my life, I have lived in almost 20 houses. When I moved to the US was the first time that I had lived in a single place for now over seven years. If I had based my definition of home on the physical space, I would never have felt the sense of home. For me, home is more about the sense of belonging and how I feel in my heart. I have been fortunate to feel at home at various phases of my life, and I also know the feeling of not being able to belong where I am. Accepting that I can have multiple places I call home With my family living in the Bay Area, I call the US home. In addition, I still feel at home every time I visit Germany and Nigeria in different ways. All the countries that I have lived in symbolize a critical aspect of where home is for me. Nigeria gave me a lot of my cultural roots, like food, while Germany allowed me to grow into who I am today, and the US taught me to shine and be my whole self. Each of my home countries has a different meaning to me; they are all my home. Creating my home wherever I am It took me seven years of living in Germany before I started feeling at home. I had first to change my mindset about where I called home. My experiences improved significantly after I accepted Germany as my home. I started growing my network, integrating myself more into the community, and finding things that made my life in Germany fun. When I moved to the US over seven years ago, I quickly adapted to being at home in the US. One of the things that I have learned is a crucial factor in my feeling at home is food. In Germany, I was on a search to find places to get Nigerian food ingredients, and now that I am in the US, I am on a constant search for German bread. It might seem very trivial, but the food is something that helps me recreate my home where I find myself. Five Lessons that I have learned about "home" Over the past 21 years, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons that have helped me find my place and feel at home
Final Thoughts The next time you think about asking someone where they are from or where they call home, remember that they belong wherever they decide to be. In our world today, people move to live in different places and build their home in whatever way they choose to. We can all help people feel a sense of belonging whenever our paths cross. From time to time, I write posts about topics that I am currently working on, and this is one of them. Recently, I have been thinking about the state of my relationships and friendships over the past years. The people in my life have been companions, advisors, cheerleaders, and supporters on my journey. One of my latest realizations is that I am missing human connections and need to make a change.
In this blog post, we will discuss five strategies to build and maintain healthy relationships with people we love and care about. #1: Think about the relationships that are important to you We all have people who have played a crucial role in our lives. Especially at times when you are yearning for more connection, it helps to think about the people you already have on your side. My circle is very small, and I can tell you the significant role that everyone plays in my life. Most of them have been my friends for a very long time. Questions to consider
#2: Reflect on what is working or not working in your relationships Now that you have a list of the relationships you care about, now is an excellent time to reflect on the strengths and areas of improvement. It can be very easy to take our relationships for granted and not think about what we can do to improve them. Questions to consider
#3: Analyze what is standing in the way of you building the types of relationships you want and need As we get busy or go through life, we can neglect the relationships that matter. One of the lessons that I have learned through my reflection on my relationships is that I am not dedicating enough time to my relationships. Many things have a hold on my time in this phase in my life, sadly leading to me dedicating less time to connect with people around me. Questions to consider
#4: Make a list of changes you want to make Healthy relationships take being intentional and work. We can make some changes to have the best relationships with the people we care about. Questions to consider
#5: Make commitments and take action Now is a great time to invest in your relationships and make the changes you identified. The truth is we will always be busy; it will take us making time for relationships with people that are close to us. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The people around us contribute significantly to our mental and emotional well-being. I realized I do not have a solid social network in the US. Although I've been living here for seven years, most of my close friends and support network are from my time in Germany and Nigeria. The truth is that I don't make time and have become less social. My task over the next weeks is to reconnect with people I care about and plan for more opportunities to meet new people. Call to Action Tell three people in your life how much you appreciate them over the next two weeks. |
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November 2023
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