 In August 2001, I embarked on an unknown journey and boarded a flight to Germany from Nigeria. So much has happened in the 20 years since then. I have lived in about eight cities in three countries and experienced a lot. Over the month of August, I will be sharing highlights, lowlights, and lessons learned on my twenty-year relocation journey. In this blog post, I will share ten things I am proud of accomplishing on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Being brave and bold to start afresh in new cities and countries I still remember the points on my journey where I had to begin a new life in a new city or country. There were times when the move came with joy, like when I moved to the US and other times when I was sad, like when I moved to Trier. In every situation, I made it work. I found what I like about my new homes and built the life I wanted there. #2: Learning new languages, cultures, and traditions When I moved to Germany from Nigeria, I only knew a few words of German from when I was a child. I took courses and learned enough to study in Germany. Fast forward to when I moved to the US, I wasn't really learning a new language, but I was getting to know a different culture. Now I speak four and a half languages and have learned a lot about multiple cultures. This had made me understand and empathize with people from different backgrounds even more. #3: Always bouncing back up after setbacks In the 20 years of living abroad, I have experienced my fair share of challenges and setbacks. The first setback that I faced was being homeless for months in my early years in Germany. Another major setback that I bounced back from was finally getting my first degree after it took much longer than expected. Looking back at those experiences, I overcame them and built a beautiful life. #4: Becoming financially independent I still can't believe that I moved to Germany with no money in my pocket. One thing I knew back then was that I wanted to be financially independent and build wealth. Over the past twenty years, I have prioritized my financial wellbeing and still do not compromise on my financial goals for any reason. I know what it is like to be poor to living off twenty Euros a week to where I am today. Achieving financial independence has allowed me to live a good life today. #5: Creating my close circle of friends and social network The people that have been in my life over the past 20 years are very dear to me. My circle is small and very precious. We have been through a lot of life experiences together and have built very deep friendships. I am very happy to have had so many amazing people on my journey. #6: Earning my degree(s) and certificates It took me nine years of being in Germany to get my bachelor's. In that time, I learned German, went through a university preparation course, changed the course I was studying twice. And then finally, I earned my first degree and started working. Interestingly, I went on to earn my masters which was a better journey for me. Following my Masters degree, I got multiple professional certifications. I was able to apply the lessons I learned from failing for so many years towards my continued learning Journey. #7: Achieving professional success Some of the moments when I was surprised about my success had a lot to do with my professional accomplishments. Often, I wonder how I got to work on big projects, partner with senior leaders and work with global teams. I know that I have put in the work, and it is great to see the great results. #8: Traveling and seeing the World (well, part of it) Since I was living in Germany and the US, I have had the opportunity to travel to Canada, Italy, India, UK, The Bahamas, Dubai, Singapore, Denmark, Greece, France, Luxemburg, and Switzerland. Thinking back to my childhood, I would never have imagined that I would be in places where I can see more parts of the world. Experiencing different cultures and seeing the beauty has been one of my favorite parts of the past 20 years. #9: Giving back to others One of the things that makes me grateful for my journey is that I have enough, have attained success, and can give back to my community. I am a strong believer in the power of giving back and pouring into other people's lives. The opportunities to speak to first-generation immigrant students, coach women, mentor people, and financially support people gives me a lot of satisfaction. #10: Building our home and having an amazing family When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could not even imagine what my life would be like 20 years down the road. Today I have my own family with my two favorite boys - my husband and our son. Everything that I experienced has helped me see what really matters and build my amazing life. Final Thoughts Reflecting on my journey has been very therapeutic for me. I have been through a lot and have not yet shared a lot. I am excited to share my story with you. In my next blog post, I will focus on the lowlights of my journey so far. A Snapshot of My Story
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 Knowing what is on your plate is crucial. The word "plate" in this context refers to everything you think about, are responsible for, and do regularly. We all have a lot that we are taking care of simultaneously, and sometimes it feels overwhelming.
In this blog post, we will explore how to ensure that your plate is well cared for and not overflowing. #1: Evaluate all that you have on your plate On any given day, you have a lot on your plate that requires your attention and taps your energy. Taking stock of what is on your plate is very important. You will feel more in control when you know everything that is on your plate. This increases your awareness and helps you see things you did not think you were taking on. Questions to consider
#2: Take some things off your plate To avoid overfilling your plate, it is crucial to know and set your boundaries. There are things on your plate that do not belong there. We tend to say yes to too many things, and they end up making us feel overwhelmed. It is essential to de-clutter your plate regularly. Questions to consider
#3: Add some things that are important to you After you have evaluated what is on your plate and removed the things that should not be on there, it is the perfect time to add things that are important to you. After I did this exercise, I noticed that I was not doing anything fun, and we decided as a family to explore new things. Questions to consider
#4: Guard your plate You or other people might be tempted to add things to your plate that should not be there. It is your responsibility to ensure that nothing gets added to your plate if you do not want it to. If you are not intentional about guarding your plate, it will continue getting crowded, and you will be overwhelmed. This is a critical life lesson that I have learned. Questions to consider
#5: Be kind to yourself The truth is that you are a hero for doing everything that you are doing. Show yourself some grace and be kind to yourself. Seeing how far you have come and how amazing you are doing will motivate you for the journey ahead. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Story Over the past months, I realized that I had too much on my plate. My initial response was to think that I needed to plan better, and everything would work out. That strategy had worked in the past, but it was not working this time because the things on my plate increased substantially. I had to try something new and respect my "plate" better. Great resources How to Deal with Constantly Feeling Overwhelmed Your To-Do List Is, in Fact, Too Long How to Avoid Burnout and Improve Your Well-Being 7 Tips To Manage Attention and Avoid Overwhelm 11 Things To Do When You Have Too Much On Your Plate Time for Reflection When last did you feel like you had control of your life? What were you doing differently then? What are new things that you want to start doing to help you enjoy your life?  As we grow and advance in our careers, there will be situations where we will need to ask for something we need. This might be asking for a promotion, a bigger project, or even a new role. It is interesting that we were never taught how to ask for things we really want in our careers. Asking for what we want is crucial to accomplish our professional goals.
In this blog post, I will share the process that I go through when I need to ask for something at work. #1: Prepare your mind Asking for what you want is very important. Often, if you don't speak up, people will think you are content with where you are today. Before you make any requests, it helps to take time to reflect and prepare yourself. Reflect on where you have been and where you want to go professionally. This is the perfect time to check in on your professional goals, update them and evaluate what you need to progress. Strategies to consider
#2: Seek advice and feedback Especially when you are about to ask for something big, it is helpful to share your thoughts with someone you trust. This is where having mentors, sponsors or trusted colleagues is very valuable. The objective of having these conversations is to practice vocalizing your thoughts and to get their advice on what you are thinking about. It is best to have these conversations early to help provide more clarity and give you input for your next steps. Strategies to consider
#3: Create an action plan It is crucial to have a plan and document your planned action. Write down what you are asking for, your qualifications, potential growth areas, and the path to get to where you want to go. Having a plan will make your request and path forward clearer. Strategies to consider
#4: Ask for what you want If you have been thinking about a promotion, a bigger project, or a new role, now is the perfect time to ask for it. Present your plan to the decision-makers and make your ask known to them. It is important to know what you want and ask for it. However, it is crucial to go in with an open mind. The conversations will provide you with more information to refine your plan and path forward. Strategies to consider
#5: Execute your plan and learn Now it is time to start taking the steps towards the goals you set. You can only make progress towards your professional goals if you are doing something. It takes one small step at a time to get to where you want to be. As you embark on your journey, keep learning and trying new things. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Journey Recently, I have come to a juncture in my career where I know that I need to do something new to stay excited about work. To make it even more complicated, the work that I want to be doing is a mixture of different roles and does not yet exist. If you know anything about me, I like a challenge ;) Personally, I know that I need some element of change every two years at the minimum to feel like I am making progress. I like to take on new professional paths or responsibilities that help me continue learning. I embarked on the journey of designing my ideal role a few months ago. I'm on a learning journey, and I am excited to share my experience. Time for Reflection What is the next step in your career? What do you need to do to get there? Who is in your professional support group?  As I was reflecting on the progress I have made so far in 2021, and I realized that there are some things that I planned to do but have been procrastinating. I know that if I accomplish these things by the end of the year, I would be immensely proud. If you also have a list of things you have been putting off, this post is for you.
In this blog post, we will explore steps to unfreeze and complete a task or goal that we have been procrastinating. Setting the foundation Let's start with the definition of procrastinate; it is to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. #1: Re-evaluate how and why the task or goal is important to you When you added this task or goal to your list, you had a good reason why. Now that a few months have gone by, it is crucial to remind yourself of the reasons. Take the time to re-evaluate why you wanted to work on it in the first place. Ask yourself what the positive impact will be after you have completed the task. Write what you learned down so that you can remind yourself of the importance when you feel like dropping it again. Why is this important?
#2: Think about what has been holding you back You might have good reasons for procrastinating. It could be that you have had too much on your plate, the timing was not right, you didn't have the resources, or you did not know how to do it. To do this exercise well, you have to be really honest with yourself to uncover all the reasons and move on. Why is this important?
#3: Plan and break the tasks into smaller chunks One of the biggest reasons we procrastinate is that we do not know precisely what needs to be done or how to complete a task. Take the time to write down the smaller parts of the task or goals. Your objective is to be able to see what it would take for you to accomplish your goal. Now that you know the tasks, create a plan to complete them. Why is this important?
#4: Set a due date and commit to doing it Now that you know what needs to be done. Set milestones and dates by when you want to complete the task or goal. Be realistic with setting the due date. You want to avoid being discouraged when you miss an unrealistic deadline. Why is this important?
#5: Have an accountability partner and get support There is something powerful about having people who are your companions on your journey to achieving greatness. You want people who could serve as cheerleaders, accountability partners, advisors, or mentors. Surround yourself with people who make you want to accomplish your goals. Why is this important?
Final Thoughts: MC's journey I have been procrastinating creating videos for my YouTube channel. My goal at the beginning of the year was to restart creating videos in March. Looking back, the timeline I set was unrealistic because I had just gone back to work while caring for my little baby, restarting my weekly blogs, and trying to find time for myself. Although it was and still is an important goal for me, there was no way I could have accomplished it in the first months of this year. Now that things are beginning to settle down and we have a better routine, this is the perfect time for me to get back to refreshing my YouTube channel. I am committed to restarting my planning process this month and releasing videos before the end of September, which would mark a year from when I took my break to focus on my baby. Look out for my videos coming up this quarter. Time for Reflection What goals or tasks have you been procrastinating? What were some of the barriers, and how can you unblock yourself? When are you committed to completing it? How will you celebrate when you complete the task or goal?  Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story, comparing the third year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. I am reflecting on my life in 2003 versus where I was in 2017. These were vastly different years; one filled with struggles and the other was reaping the benefits of my hard work. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Having family around After almost two years alone, it was a blessing to have family in Germany finally. I can still remember when I heard my sister arrived and I could not wait to see her. Sadly, I was struggling and did not have a stable place to live when she moved. We quickly had to find a place to stay and start making a living. Having her there with me made me happy, but it also put a lot of responsibility on me for taking care of both of us. On the other hand, when I moved to the US, I started life immediately with my husband and had a companion throughout my life here. What did I learn?
A place I call home After my sister joined me in Germany, we started living in a tiny room on the University campus. It was in a hostel where we shared some common spaces with about 20 people. I remember watching TV shows in the TV room with other residents in the hostel. Compared to my life in the US, I got to move into a very comfortable home from Day 1. Interestingly when I think about how important a home is to me, it is because I have not always had a place to call home. What did I learn?
The people who contributed to my life when I was in need Telling my story would not be complete without me mentioning the amazing people who contributed to my life. In 2003, my sister and I were surviving on my small earnings from a part-time job that I was doing. We were incredibly good with our money and only got what we needed to live. We could not afford any luxuries, and we accepted that. So, you can imagine how special it was when one of our friends gave us a significant gift. She gave us a five-kilo bag of basmati rice. It might sound small, but at that phase of our lives, it was a lot. I will never forget how excited we were to enjoy a different type of rice. Living in the US, I luckily was not in need, but I got to give to others. What did I learn?
Living a good life and excelling at work In my third year in the US, I was living a life that I could never have imagined in my third year in Germany. I had settled into my new life and had the opportunity to take on a new role at work. The new position allowed me to travel more and do great work. I got to see other countries like Italy, India and visit other cities in the US. I was in a place in my life that I never thought I will ever be in my private life and my career. Living through some of the struggles in my third year in Germany prepared me for the amazing life that I got to live. What did I learn?
Preparing for the next phase Both 2003 and 2017 were transition years for me. In 2003, I was transitioning to standing on my feet in Germany. I had to make a lot of decisions on how I would earn money while I advanced my studies towards my first degree. 2017, on the other hand, was a year when I decided it was time for me to leave my job at a company that I had worked at for almost eight years of my life. Strangely, I was planning the transition at one of the peaks of my experience. My motto was to leave while I was at the top. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The first picture is of me in 2003 in Germany, and the other picture was in 2017. The person that I was in 2003 was vastly different than who I was in 2017. I was really struggling in 2003, but my mindset was that I would do whatever I could to improve my life. My fighter spirit was activated and defined how I approached life. And in 2017, I had to learn when it is time to leave my comfort zone and do something greater.   If you feel overwhelmed and have lost parts of yourself, you are not alone. This year has been very intense. Growing up, I was taught to work hard, and self-care was not a topic often. Over the past months, I have learned that the only way I can be my best self is to take care of myself.
In this blog post, we will explore how to we can take care of ourselves. I am committing to doing these five things in July. Check-in with yourself With everything that we have to manage, it is easy to lose touch with ourselves. The most important part of you taking care of yourself is knowing how you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically. Often, we do not really know how we are doing because we do not take the time to ask ourselves. Question to reflect on
Ask for help The fact that you need help is not bad and does not mean you are lazy or incapable. It means that you are acknowledging that you have your hands full. Permitting yourself to ask for help and accepting it is a great way to take care of yourself. Question to reflect on
Do something for yourself We do a lot of things for other people around us and neglect ourselves. You are worth spending time on. It is time to prioritize yourself and do some self-care. I finally got a professional pedicure in over 18 months this weekend. It was a very small thing, but it made me feel much better. The sum of the small things that you do for yourself will make you feel better. Question to reflect on
Reconnect with people you like Having a deep connection with people is a crucial part of our lives. Plan to give them a call, grab some coffee, or a meal. When you connect with them, it is important to have deep conversations and check in with each other. Question to reflect on
Celebrate how far you have come There is so much power in celebrating the good that is happening in your life. Celebrating your milestones and accomplishments is crucial. Take a moment to remind yourself that you are doing amazing. The small and big wins are worth celebrating. Question to reflect on
Final Thoughts Committing to taking care of yourself is crucial. It needs to be something that you are intentional about and make an effort to do regularly. There is only one you, and no one can take better care of you than you can! Time for Reflection Why have you not been taking care of yourself? How do you take care of yourself? How are you going to continue taking care of yourself?  We are approaching the half-point mark of the year, and it is a great time to reflect on your goals and review your plan. I typically start these posts by wondering where all the time has gone. It is the same this time as well. I cannot believe that it is June already. 2021 has been a very fast year. We have all experienced so much in only six months.
In this blog post, we will do a six-month retrospective to see the progress we have made and identify what we will do to accomplish our goals this year. In addition, I will also share my retrospective. Review the past six months with the following steps Step #1: Take stock of where you are today compared to your plans This is the perfect time to review the goals you set for 2021 and the progress that you have made in the past six months. This step is the beginning of the process, and the objective is to help you clearly see where you are now compared to where you want to be at the end of the year. Questions to consider
Step #2: Celebrate your accomplishments In the previous step, you took stock of your progress and know what you have accomplished. It is time to celebrate the good things that you have achieved in the past months. Questions to consider
Step #3: Document your learnings from the things that did not go the way you planned There are a lot of great lessons to learn from the disappointments or setbacks you experienced this year. When you think about the things that did not go well this year, it is important that you do not let them get you down. Questions to consider
Step #4: Plan for the next six months When you reviewed your goals, you probably identified things that you want to do more of or new things that you want to do over the next months. Take the opportunity to create your plan for great impact and win in 2021. Questions to consider
Step #5: Take action Now that you have reviewed your goals and updated your plan, it is time to take action. Do the activities that will help you make progress towards your goals over the next months. Questions to consider
MC's 2021 Journey so far As I reflect on the last six months, I am proud of what I have accomplished and have learned many valuable lessons. This year has been an exciting year all around. The Highlights Reflecting on my goals for 2021, I have made some good progress:
The Lowlights With the progress that I have made, I have also experienced some setbacks
The lessons I learned
What I am looking forward to The rest of the year is going to be exciting for us. I am looking forward to a few exciting things:
Time for Reflection What was one surprising thing you learned or noticed during your review? When is your next review planned?  With everything that we have been managing over the past year, it is understandable if you feel that you are not enjoying work right now. We spend a lot of time doing work and deserve to be happy while we do it. If you want to rekindle your passion for work, this is for you.
In this blog post, we will explore five concrete things you can do to find your joy at work again. #1: Look back on what you have accomplished It is easy to get so caught up and not see the progress you have made over the past year. Looking back on your work results can remind you of what you like the most about your work. All your professional accomplishments, even the small ones, matter a lot. Even if you don't see it, you have made progress and are doing well. Strategies to consider
#2: Refresh your professional goals and update your career plan Most of us have been in survival mode over the past year. As a result, you may not have had the opportunity to define or check on your professional goals. Having an updated Career advancement plan helps give you a view of the future. Knowing that there are great things ahead builds excitement and rekindles your passion for your work. Do not let another year go by without you checking in on your professional goals. Strategies to consider
#3: Make a bold career move, start working on a new project or job After you review your career plan, you might discover that it is time to do something new or make even bigger career changes. Finding work that is satisfying and meets your development needs is crucial. If you know that the only way you can be happy at work is to change your job, plan, and make it happen. It could also be time to go up for a promotion. Asking for an overdue promotion is an emotional thing to do. However, making bold career moves has great rewards. Strategies to consider
#4: Revive your professional network Especially if you have been working virtually over the last year, you may have lost touch with your coworkers and industry connections. Most of us have been working from home, unable to attend conferences or professional meetups. The people in our professional lives have a positive impact on how we enjoy our work. It is crucial to be intentional about reconnecting with people professionally. Strategies to consider
#5: Find a passion project The truth is that work is only one part of your life. Focusing solely on your job and investing most of your time will not make you happy. Sharing our focus on multiple things will help us be at our best at work. Working on my blog posts and coaching sessions provides me a vital outlet. I find that I am better at work when I am working on projects that I care about. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: Is it time to take a break? If you read the strategies above and felt overwhelmed, it might be time to take a break. One of the first things that I did when I got back to work from maternity leave was plan days and weeks when I would take time off work. It was a necessary strategy for me to enjoy work and thrive. Planning time off work will help energize you. Great resources  When the world started shutting down in March 2020, no one imagined that we will still be in this state sixteen months later. With everything we have all experienced, we have many different feelings. Especially with things slowly reopening or going back to normal, we are facing new emotions, decisions, and thoughts. If you are excited and ready to go fantastic, and if you are like me and need more time to get used to the change, that is perfectly fine too.
In this blog post, I will share the things I am working through that are helping me adjust to the new normal. Hopefully, these will also help you on your journey. Acknowledge and accept how you are feeling No matter how you are feeling, it is ok to feel whatever you are feeling. It is normal to feel apprehensive or worried about the changes after living a different life for the past sixteen months. You might be experiencing mixed feelings, including excitement for some things and sadness for others. It is crucial to accept the way you are feeling and not judge yourself. Questions to consider
Ask yourself what you are concerned about If you feel concerned or worried, there are typically some underlying topics that you may not have explored. Identifying what exactly you are worried about is crucial. It will help you start working through it. I did some soul searching and realized that my main concerns were around adapting to a new post-pandemic life with our son. So many things that would have been easy to organize, such as childcare, are a little more complicated. Questions to consider
Identify what you do not want to change Over the past sixteen months, our lives have changed in many ways. We have reshaped our lives and started new routines. There might be some healthy and good things that you started doing over the past months that you want to continue. It is ok to hold on to those routines or new ways of living over the next months. For me, the quality time I spend with my husband and my son is now a major priority in my life, and I do not want to give it up. Questions to consider
Start thinking about the future and create "warm-up" plans There must be something that you have not done in a while that you are looking forward to. Just because you are anxious when you think about all the changes coming your way, it does not mean there are not a few things that excite you. Thinking about those exciting things that you want to do will help you prepare for the change ahead. They could be as simple as getting a pedicure or coffee with a friend. Questions to consider
Take care of yourself To thrive on the new journey ahead, you need to be physically and mentally healthy. If you feel like you need support with your mental health as you transition to your new normal, please get the help you need. Prioritize self-care and make sure you check in with yourself over the next months. You have got this! Questions to consider
MC's story This post is one that I am writing for myself as well. I have been struggling with thinking about the months ahead. As someone who likes to plan, I have been learning to do things a little differently. I am accepting the fact that there are still a lot of unknowns, and we will need to learn as we go. My approach to warming up towards our new normal is to take small steps. Over this past weekend, I got my first professional haircut since February 2020. It was one of my first steps back into the world. Time for Reflection What are you feeling? What are your top three fears or concerns? How are you going to make sure you are doing well through the transition? I am continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story, comparing the second year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2002 versus where I was in 2016, reminds me of how vastly different my life was. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and what I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Having a stable home One part of my journey that I never talk about is that I did not have a stable place to live in my second year in Germany due to some situations. I stayed on people's couches for about eight months. I am incredibly grateful to the people that gave me a place to live during those times. Interestingly, while I went through that experience, I did not think about it too much. I focused more on studying German and working as a babysitter to save up for my own place. Compared to my life in the US, I have been living in an amazing home since I moved here. The stability I had in my second year in the US, I would have wished I had in the early days of my life in Germany as well. What did I learn?
Politics influencing my life When I moved to the US in 2015, I had no idea how politics and the government will influence my life. The 2016 elections in the US affected me more than I would have ever expected. As an immigrant living in the US, I worried about the policies that will affect my stay here. Also, the rhetoric against immigrants made me wonder if I had made the right decision moving here. While I lived in Germany, I had the privilege of not worrying a lot about who was in government, as most of the policies were fair or did not negatively affect me. What did I learn?
Thoughts about my future Especially in year two in Germany, I felt slightly hopeless when I thought about the future. I found myself struggling to build a stable foundation and had no idea what my future in Germany would look like. I was naïve before I moved and expected things to fall into place quite quickly. I did not consider that I was moving to a country where I did not speak the language, knew nothing about the culture, and did not have a social network. When I moved to the US, I was more hopeful and had better prospects for my future. What did I learn?
Making Unexpected connections During my second year in Germany, I met people who supported me through difficult times on a train, bus, or at the station. These included the woman who gave me my first babysitting job and the people whose couches I slept on for a few months. It is strange when I think about the importance of the people I met at very unconventional places. Compared to when I moved to the US, I hardly made connections with people in that way. I had to go to professional and social events to meet new people. What did I learn?
Financial Stability When I moved to Germany, I did not have a financial plan or resources. I still remember the first time I got paid ten Euros for a babysitting job. Having a source of income meant freedom for me. I was now able to buy little things for myself and eventually move to my own place. Fast-forward to when I moved to the US; I was more financially stable. I had learned valuable financial lessons and promised myself that I would never rely on anyone financially. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The first picture is of me in 2002 in Germany, and the other picture was in 2016. Although I am smiling in the picture from 2002, I was going through a lot of tumult in my life. It was taken a few weeks before I became displaced from the home where I was staying when I first moved to Germany. The 2016 picture shows me settled into my work routine in San Francisco. My state of mind in the two pictures was really different. In the latter, I had a solid foundation and was not worried about my future. Reflecting on these two years reminded me of how much my life is better now.   Our time is a very precious and limited resource. When you are feeling overwhelmed, one of the tools that can help is -managing your time. I like knowing that there are things that I can do to get back up. Let us have a conversation about some strategies that I leverage to make time for things that matter to me.
In this blog post, we will explore five things you can do to manage your time. #1: Reclaim your time What we spend our time on will determine how happy or unhappy we are. As with everything that impacts your life significantly, you need to be in control of how you spend your time. Remember that your time is precious. Realizing that I needed to own how I spent my time changed my life for the better. I am now very intentional about what I invest my time in and know that I need to reevaluate and adjust when I am overwhelmed. I want to be able to look back and say that I spent my time on things that mattered to me. Strategies to consider
#2: Set and communicate your boundaries We guard things that we care about. This principle should also apply to your time. Especially as I have progressed to a new phase in my life, I know how important it is to set boundaries around my time. Letting people know how much time you are willing to spend on a particular commitment is crucial. Communicate your boundaries at work, with your family and friends. Strategies to consider
#3: Start new habits and have a routine Applying measures that save your time or increase the impact of how you spend your time is life changing. Two things that have helped me accomplish the things, I care about are, having good habits and a routine. Having a process by which you do things routinely will save you time and make time for you to focus on what really matters. My morning and evening routines are consistent, and they help me save time. Strategies to consider
#4: Have a plan and set priorities As we progress in our lives, multiple things are competing for our time. To ensure we are spending time on the important things we need to set priorities. Once you know your top priorities, you want to create a plan and carve out time for them. As your priorities might change more often, it is crucial to get into a planning routine to revisit your priorities and make time for them. Strategies to consider
#5: Track how you are spending your time Knowing how you spend one of the most valuable resources - your time - is essential to managing your time. Use tools such as calendars to plan and track how you are spending your time. This will help you identify what is wasting your time and make changes to help you have more time for your priorities. Strategies to consider
Great Resources Check out some of my previous blog posts with more helpful tips and resources to help you take charge of your time and accomplish more.
Time for Reflection How are you spending your time? What would you like to do if you could find some time to? How could you make time for what you really want to do?  Taking care of your mental health is extremely crucial. We are all dealing with a lot as we work towards accomplishing our goals and living in the world today. There are so many things that impact our mental health. I strongly believe that we have to be intentional and actively maintain our mental health. Your happiness, health, and overall well-being are strongly dependent on how your mind is doing.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I am doing to prioritize my mental health. These are things that I strive to do daily for my well-being. #1: Sharing when I am struggling For some reason, I thought telling people I was having a bad day or struggling with something was a sign of weakness. It has a lot to with my upbringing, where we always had to say we were doing well and show strength. I ended up bottling in all my worries and not sharing them with anyone, not even the people closest to me. Unlearning this took me a long time. I still catch myself wanting to say I am doing fine when I am not. We need to start speaking honestly about our mental health. Questions to consider
#2: Shutting out the news and negative things Last year, I was obsessing over the news because I was following the political events in the US. I found myself watching a lot of news. I noticed that what I saw on the news was having a bigger impact on my mental health than I thought. After I went back to work, I realized that I could no longer dedicate brain space to all the bad news. I decided to reduce the amount of news that I read or listen to daily. Guarding my mind has had a positive effect on my overall well-being. Questions to consider
#3: Limiting my circle to have only people who uplift me The people you surround yourself with will influence your happiness and mental health. One thing that I have learned about myself is that I get impacted by the things that others around me are going through. On my quest for mental well-being, I have decided to keep my circle of friends very small. I make sure that people around me influence me positively, that I have a positive impact on their lives, and that we are there for one another through all life experiences. Questions to consider
#4: Saying "No" and setting boundaries Over the past years, I have realized that it is essential for me to set boundaries. The more I have grown, I know that my time and resources are limited. Considering that, I have to say no to things that I do not want to do and things that don't add value to my life. Letting people in my life and at work know what my boundaries are, has improved the quality of my life a lot. If I am spending my time doing something, it is because I want to do it. Questions to consider
#5: Reduce the pressure that I'm putting on myself One thing that impacts my mental health negatively is feeling overwhelmed. After searching for the most frequent cause, I realized that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. I found myself striving for perfection in all areas of my life, which is impossible. Evaluating and resetting the standards that I hold myself to have been a game-changer for me. Sometimes I have to accept that getting something done is good enough, even if it is not perfect. I am also learning that it is ok to rest even when my to-do list is long. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a good reminder for us to prioritize our mental health. We need to take care of our mental health every single day to do all the amazing things we want to do in life. Time for Reflection
 This year, Mother's Day is incredibly special to me. I am celebrating my motherhood journey as a first-time mom. Life with my son has been one of the most amazing and life-changing journeys in my life. To celebrate this milestone, I will be reflecting on my experiences so far.
In this blog post, I will share the things that have changed over the past almost seven months since I had my baby. First things first - Having a baby during a pandemic Interestingly, I found out I was about six weeks pregnant in early March 2020 when the world was starting to see the impact of the pandemic. Working from home, our state being shut down, and being pregnant at the same time was surreal to me. I wondered how different my experience would have been at any other time. I never expected that my whole pregnancy and birth would happen while a pandemic took a toll on the world and changed our lives forever. How have I changed since I became a mom? The transformation that parents go through when they have children is impressive. Some new things happened, and other things became more heightened. My focus has increased One of my strengths is being focused. However, I have gone through the transformation that I have an additional motivator to be focused on. I am extremely intentional about how I spend my time and invest my energy. Especially since I am working full-time and caring for my baby, my time is very precious. My priority is to make sure my son is well taken care of while I build my career. I prepare for everything Being prepared for even the mundane things is now part of my life. I have my list and calendar appointments for everything. There is so much that I need to take care of these days. Being organized has been very pivotal to my success. I even have a list of the updates and questions for my son's pediatrician. I have become more emotionally sensitive People who know me personally know that I am a very emotional person. It does not take much to see me cry or be happy and sometimes have both feelings simultaneously. These days, I find some news stories that I do not want to watch because they affect me differently. I am generally much more sensitive. My sense of hearing is heightened Before I had a baby, it was not like I did not hear any noises. However, now I hear everything. I hear my baby make sounds in the other room. I hear every dog barking or things happening outside. I am sure my husband is tired of me asking, "did you hear that?". My ability to love unconditionally has multiplied I look at this little baby and wonder how I can love someone so much. Even at the end of a remarkably busy day for both of us, I thank God for the amazing gift of motherhood. I'm blessed that I get to love my son and teach him how to love others. Final Thoughts My motherhood journey has been this amazing because of my wonderful husband and my sister. They have been my constant companions. Seeing my husband being the best father to our son makes me extremely happy. Words cannot describe how blessed I feel to be able to share motherhood stories with my sister. Thank you, MS and DC, for making motherhood an amazing journey and raising our amazing boy. To all the amazing mothers and caregivers, Happy Mother’s Day to you. May you get to experience more joy as you pour into other people's lives. This year marks twenty years of me living abroad. To celebrate this significant milestone in my life, I am taking a moment to reflect on my journey so far. One thing I have been wondering is how my experiences living in various countries differed. My relocation journeys to Germany and the US have been quite different for many reasons. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. My Age When I moved to Germany in 2001, I was only 15 years old. Thinking back, I really do not know how I did it. When people ask me how I survived in a foreign country at such a young age, I tell them that I did not stop to think about it. I knew that I had to make it work. Fourteen years later, when I moved to the US, I was older and had more life experience. And more importantly, I was mature and knew what I wanted more. What did I learn?
Being mentally prepared Strangely, I was never asked if I wanted to move to Germany. It seemed like the natural next step when I graduated from secondary school (aka high school). I had no idea what I would experience and was not prepared for the journey that I was embarking on. When I relocated to the US, it was my decision, and I had some time to prepare for my move. The most important part was that I was mentally prepared and had an idea of what I could expect. What did I learn?
Facing my fears and worries When I moved to Germany, I did not have time to let fear stop me. Although I was afraid, I had to do everything I could to stay above water and survive. My worries mainly were around finances and being able to study successfully. On the other hand, with the move to the US, I had more to lose as I was in a different phase of my life. I was afraid that if the decision I made was not the right one, it would set me back a few years. I was leaving behind the successful life that I had built in Germany for a new life based on hopes and dreams. What did I learn?
Adapting to cultural differences When I moved to Germany, the cultural shock that I experienced was immense. The culture was vastly different from what I knew growing up in Nigeria. The language barrier made my experience even more difficult. Compared to when I moved to the US, there were still cultural differences. However, this time I spoke the language and was able to adapt a little easier. I also knew that I would experience some culture shock, so I was more prepared. What did I learn?
Hoping for new opportunities When I was going to Germany, I had no idea what opportunities I would have in this new country. It took a while after I moved for me to start to discover them. Coming to the US, I felt like my world was expanding, and great opportunities were available to me. I had learned how to create a plan before I embarked on my quest to start a new life. In addition, I now had the skill set that helped me go after the opportunities I wanted. What did I learn?
Having great people in my life When I moved to Germany, I had to navigate life on my own. The loneliness that I experienced in my first months kept making me want to go back to Nigeria. Thankfully when I moved to the US, I had my now husband here, and he had his established community that I was able to plug into. Having a companion on my journey made my move to the US more delightful. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection They say pictures speak louder than words. The first picture was taken when I moved to Germany in 2001, and the second one was when I moved to the US in 2015. I experienced so many ups and downs between those two pictures. However, one thing remained - my smile.   Especially as we have been socially isolated over the last year, most of us are yearning for deeper human connections. The relationships we have with people in our lives matter now more than ever. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not reap all the benefits from our community because we keep our conversations and interactions superficial. A few years ago, my sister and I decided to have conversations that matter with each other and the people around us. It has been a rewarding change in our lives.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of and how to start having meaningful conversations. What are meaningful conversations?
What are the benefits of having meaningful conversations?
How to start having more meaningful conversations Sharing simple ways to approach having meaningful conversations with the people in your life: #1: Aim to connect on a deeper level Your intention and mindset when you start a conversation set the tone for how it will go. The best conversations happen when you really want to connect with the people you are talking to. Questions to consider:
#2: Make the person feel good A great way to start a deeper connection is to make the person feel comfortable and seen. When I have deep conversations, I want the person to feel that they are enough, have achieved a lot and I care about them. Questions to consider:
#3: Listen attentively to what they need We all know the feeling you have when people really care about you. Give people the opportunity to share what they really need. Questions to consider:
#4: Offer your support We all have something we can offer one another. Thinking about the ways you can contribute to their lives helps you have deeper connections. Questions to consider:
#5: Stay connected The best part of having meaningful conversations is keeping them going. When you make deeper connections, you want to stay connected over time. Questions to consider:
The Deeper Connection Challenge We can all have meaningful conversations over the next weeks. Inspired by #Big Talk, I came up with ten questions we can start asking to help us have meaningful conversations.
Final Thoughts The people in our lives will help us thrive and succeed. Now is a perfect time to make our connections matter. Time for Reflection Do you have conversations that matter? Why do you want to have conversations that matter? Who are you going to connect with over the next weeks? Great resources
 Let us start by acknowledging that we are juggling many things in our lives. Being able to make progress is something that motivates me to get things done. The principles that I will share below have helped me take care of my six-month-old baby while working full-time.
In this blog post, I will share the five principles that help me accomplish important things. #1: Commit to completing your tasks I strongly believe that getting things done starts with your mindset. Really wanting to do something is the first step to success. In addition, if you are going to accomplish great things, you will need to commit to act. When we hold ourselves accountable to take action, we are more likely to progress on things that matter to us. Questions to consider
#2: Prepare ahead of time and have a routine In my experience, preparation is one of my secret strategies to getting things done. If you know a significant life event is about to happen, getting ready for it will help you ensure that you get things done. Knowing that I have the things that I need to complete a task makes it much more manageable. Implementing a routine where you do things repeatedly also helps you be more efficient. Questions to consider
#3: Track your progress Knowing that you are making progress is an integral part of getting things done. When I get swamped and feel like I am not making progress, I go back and look at the tasks that I have completed. Tracking my tasks provides me with a place to look when I start getting discouraged about making progress. About a year ago, I started writing down what I accomplished over the weekend, including resting and having fun. This helps give me a sense of satisfaction when I think about how I am spending my time. Questions to consider
#4: Delegate tasks to others Assigning tasks to others or outsourcing is something that I have been learning to do recently. Sometimes, to make progress, you have to assign tasks to someone else or ask for help. The outcome is what matters, not necessarily who gets it done. For example, I used to put pressure on myself to do all the household chores myself and now I have learned to ask for or hire help. I had to overcome the sense that I was failing because I was not doing everything on my own. Also, I now realize that my time is valuable, and the investment in things that save me time is priceless. Questions to consider
#5: Being kind to yourself As we navigate everyday life, there will be things that either take us much longer to do or that we don't get to do at all. It is important to be gracious to yourself and not beat yourself up. Coming to terms with the realities of what we can do is sometimes extremely difficult to do. I recently went through a stressful period and realized that I was putting myself under a lot of pressure. Now, when I catch myself trying to be perfect in everything, I remind myself to be kind to myself. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts We are all working hard and doing a lot. Now is an excellent time for us to ensure we are doing things that are important to us. Time for Reflection What helps you get things done? What is one principle that you want to start applying to get things done? How are you going to celebrate the progress you are making?  As I have progressed in my career, I have realized that professional allies and advocates are a crucial part of my career journey. In our private lives, we understand the importance of building and maintaining very healthy relationships; the same principle should apply to our professional lives.
In this blog post, I will share the benefits of having professional allies and the best way to leverage them along your career journey. Who are professional allies? Allies are people who offer one another backing, assistance, advice, information, protection, and even friendship. Your professional allies could play different roles such as mentors, sponsors, technical advisors, career advisors. What are the benefits of having professional allies? Great allies support your career in various ways such as:
5 ways to build relationships with your professional allies Find your allies and ensure they are from different backgrounds Being intentional about seeking out and choosing your allies is essential. Many different people could be your professional allies such as your manager, teammate, senior leaders, experienced co-workers or people that report to you. It is crucial for you to continuously identify your professional allies. Strategies to consider
Be clear on what the relationship is and what you want As with every relationship, when you are clear about how you want your allies to support you, you will get the best results. You should be able to clearly map out how your professional allies can positively influence your career and help you accomplish your goals. Strategies to consider
Make sure they know your work Your allies can talk more about your work when you share details with them. You do not work closely with your allies in some cases, but you want them to feel like they know what you do. You are the best person to share your professional accomplishments. Strategies to consider
Meet with them regularly In any good relationship, conversations and connections happen regularly. To stay top of mind for your professional allies, it is crucial to stay connected. You want to make sure you are not only reaching out when you have issues. Sharing good updates with them is also unbelievably valuable. Strategies to consider
Provide your professional allies value As much as you receive support, you want to give the same. We all appreciate when people who we invest in also give back to us. You have something to offer your professional allies as well. We all have different perspectives and can enrich each other's lives when we share. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts You do not have to feel lonely on your career journey. Surround yourself with amazing people who can help you thrive and enjoy your work. Time for Reflection What type of allies do you need to seek out? Who are people around you who you want to convert to professional allies? How are you going to build solid relationships with your allies? Great Resources  After 20 years of living in Germany and the US, I have learned many valuable lessons. The good and bad experiences have prepared me for where I am today. As I reflected on how our lives have changed over the past year, I realized that moving and living in different countries helped me survive during this pandemic.
In this blog post, I will share ten things that I experienced living in different countries that prepared me for living through a pandemic. Check out my "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences so far. Lesson #1: Adapting quickly to unexpected situations When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my life would be like years later. I quickly learned that adapting to unexpected situations was necessary for me to thrive. I had grand plans on where I want to be in five years. If you have been following my journey, you know that my life in Germany brought many new experiences that I did not imagine. Fast forward to 2020, a year that made us all change our plans. I quickly accepted the situations and adapted to change, which was one key lesson I learned going through some disappointment and unexpected experiences. Lesson #2: Missing family milestones and celebrations Over the years, living in other countries, I have missed some major family milestones and celebrations. In the beginning, I used to get affected and be engulfed with wishing I was there in person to mark the occasions. I had to learn that I will miss milestones as part of living abroad, and it was ok. Coming to 2020, there have been many life events that we have not celebrated with our families. I still cannot believe that our families have not yet met our son. Lesson #3: Adapting to spending holidays alone (or with my small family) The first Christmas I spent alone in Germany was brutal. Coming from Nigeria, where holidays were a huge celebration, I was not ready for a cold and lonely time in Germany. It took me a few years to get used to the different holidays and build my own holiday traditions. I started really enjoying quiet holidays. When I moved to the US, my husband and I started spending a part of the holidays with our family in Southern California. In 2020, we did not get to spend any holidays with our family or friends. However, we made sure we enjoyed spending the holidays in a special way. Lesson #4: Valuing your personal connections The people that I have met on my journey have been one of the best parts of my life abroad. Especially in a year when everything was chaotic, I went back to the basics of what has helped me thrive on my journey. I reactivated my human connections, and they helped me through 2020. Reflecting on last year, I created some great memories with my friends and family virtually. I appreciate all the amazing people in my life. Lesson #5: Create memories whenever you can I strongly believe that the small memories that we make every day matter, not only the significant memories. My husband and I were very intentional about creating happy memories during the year. We wanted to be able to think back to 2020 and remember the small things that made us smile or brought us joy. As I have moved between cities and countries, I learned the value of keeping all my memories. I can still tell happy stories from my life in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Lesson #6: Find the small things you enjoy and do them Especially when you make huge changes in your life, the little things start to matter even more. Celebrating the little things has made my journey so far unforgettable. I learned to make every win count. When I moved to the US, I was more intentional and celebrated the good things in my life. In 2020, acknowledging the small, good things that were in my life became even more critical. By focusing on the positive, I was able to survive the more trying times. Lesson #7: Having empathy for people in different situations During the pandemic, we have seen many people go through different situations. As I have lived in different countries, I have gotten to know people from different backgrounds. Building those relationships has taught me how to care for others whose experiences differ from mine. Having empathy for people changed how I view the world and become more aware of how it is not always about me. I appreciate the perspective that I have been granted through my experiences. Lesson #8: Believing in yourself We have all had to do things that we never thought we could do over the past year. We discovered that we are stronger than we think. Leaving home at the age of 15 to move to Germany, I did not know the strength and resilience I had. Now looking back on my journey, I had what it took to succeed. Although I had no idea what 2020 would bring, my strength and resilience was put to a test and I learned that I could survive this situation. Lesson #9: Be thankful and appreciate the good Especially during uncertain times and situations that we do not feel we can control; it is easy to focus on what is going wrong. My husband and I remind ourselves of the good in our lives and the privilege that we have. Not complaining and dwelling on what we do not have, has given me peace over the last year. My mindset is to be grateful no matter what happens in your life. #10: Finding joy wherever I find myself For the first seven years of my life in Germany, I silently wished I was somewhere else. I wanted to be back in Nigeria around my family and my community. This mindset hindered me from settling down and enjoying my life. After seven years, I decided to enjoy myself wherever I find myself. It has been a life-changing experience. These days, I am intentional about finding the good in my life where I am today. I now know that I can be happy in whatever situation that I find myself in. Final Thoughts We may not always understand why we experience certain things. However, I am convinced that there is a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned. Time for Reflection
 Working towards financial independence and stability is a priority for me. I strongly believe that to live and thrive in our lives, we need to be in control of our finances. I acknowledge that finances are a very personal topic, as everyone's experiences and status vary. It is crucial that you are taking steps towards being financially healthy no matter what your current financial situation is.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I am doing differently with my money this year. Check out my other "Her Finances" posts for amazing financial tips. Starting Point: Reflecting on my financial journey I have had a sometimes good and bad relationship with money all my life. Growing up, we faced some financial challenges. A lot of my memories were centered around things that we lacked. Interestingly, my sister and I had a happy childhood, but there was always an underlying concern for how we will get things we needed. Living through those experiences made me resolute about having more positive experiences with my finances. Fast forward to 2001 when I moved to Germany. I was still struggling financially. As a student, I had to work multiple jobs at a library, café, babysitting, and other small jobs to survive. As you can imagine, that is not the quickest path to accumulating wealth. However, in those difficult times, I learned the most valuable lesson about financial health. The lesson that I learned was that I had to start taking small actions to achieve financial wellbeing. I started building my savings with small amounts that I could afford and have continued this practice until today. Over the past 20 years, I have added more tools to my toolkit that have helped me grow my finances. I am still learning and unlearning so many lessons about money. What am I doing differently this year? As I set my financial goals in 2021, I asked myself what financial decisions have helped me accomplish my goals so far and what new things I was willing to explore. Some of the things that I will be doing differently include the following: #1: Enjoying my money a little and paying for services that simplify my life Especially when you have been poor at some point in your life, it can be hard to enjoy your money. This year, I want to permit myself to do things for myself. In this phase of my life, as I am working a full-time job with a baby, this point is even more important. There are some "luxuries" that I would like to spend money on to save my time and improve the quality of my life. #2: Creating forums to share and learning bold things people are doing financially There is a lot of power in sharing your knowledge and learning from others. I want to normalize conversations about money with other amazing women in my community. I am incredibly interested in learning how others who have built sustainable wealth, explored new avenues to grow their finances, overcome generational financial challenges, and how they are continuously working towards financial independence. I also want to offer myself as an accountability partner to anyone who wants to accomplish big things financially. #3: Getting professional financial help One of the things that I have been planning to do is talking to professionals about some steps that I can take to build wealth. I have a lot to learn about investing, optimizing my taxes, planning for my son, and putting long-term plans in place for retirement. Learning from financial experts will help me make the bold moves that I plan to with my money in 2021. #4: Restarting my investing With everything that happened in 2020, I stopped investing. This decision was counterintuitive as it was a good time to invest. I was so scared of being financially unstable that I wanted to hold on to my money. This year, I want to start investing again, explore new avenues such as buying property and building long-term wealth. Although I know that Investing is the right thing for me to be doing at this stage of my financial journey, I am overly cautious. #5: Facing my fears around finances Interestingly, one of my biggest fears is being broke. It is one thought that guides a lot of the decisions that I make around money. While I want to stay financially responsible, I do not want to be driven by fear. I want to be free to do new things with my money and not be constantly concerned about being financially unstable. Final Thoughts There is so much we can learn and explore when it comes to our finances. To start your own journey to financial independence, evaluate what you are doing now, identify what you want to be doing differently, and start doing those things. Call to Action
 Over the past months, I have been thinking about the power of sharing our life stories. Have you ever told someone something about yourself and they say, “oh wow, that is a very interesting background “? Has your response been “no, it’s not that remarkable, many people have experienced similar things”? That is exactly how I have responded to people's comments when I share my story with them. It has been my way of normalizing and minimizing my unique life experiences. However, this year as I celebrate the huge milestone of living abroad for 20 years, I am determined to celebrate my journey and no longer take my experiences for granted.
In this blog post, I will share how I am approaching telling my story to commit publicly to ensure that I follow through. This officially kicks off my "Her Story" series, where I will share different experiences and lessons learned. Background In 2019, I had the strong desire to start writing down my story. I set a goal to write my story by the time I turned 35 in 2020. Well, many unexpected things happened differently last year like a global pandemic and having a baby. Having my son rekindled my desire to tell my story. I have decided to take steps this year and start sharing my experiences with the world. This is one of my bold 2021 goals. Why am I telling my story? I like to start by asking myself what my motivation is and the outcome that I hope to accomplish by doing it with everything I do. As I began to think about why I wanted to tell my story, I realized that the reasons why I wanted to embark on this journey varied vastly. Some of them include:
What is holding me back? As I embark on this new and scary journey, a few thoughts are holding me back from doing this amazing thing.
How am I going to approach telling my story? Although I have some fears and concerns about sharing my story, I have decided that it is something that I need to do for my growth. For things that seem too big or scary, I create a plan and start working on them one task at a time. I will be taking the following steps over the next months on my quest to tell my story.
Final Thoughts If you have ever wondered how remarkable your story is, remember that you are the only one who has lived the life you have and walked in your shoes - Your story is special and unique. And if you have been thinking about writing or sharing your story, I encourage you to join me on this bold journey. Time to Reflect What part of your story do you want to tell people but have not permitted yourself to? How do you think sharing your story will help others? What is holding you back from sharing your story? How will you overcome your fears and take the bold step to share your story? |
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