 Taking care of your mental health is extremely crucial. We are all dealing with a lot as we work towards accomplishing our goals and living in the world today. There are so many things that impact our mental health. I strongly believe that we have to be intentional and actively maintain our mental health. Your happiness, health, and overall well-being are strongly dependent on how your mind is doing.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I am doing to prioritize my mental health. These are things that I strive to do daily for my well-being. #1: Sharing when I am struggling For some reason, I thought telling people I was having a bad day or struggling with something was a sign of weakness. It has a lot to with my upbringing, where we always had to say we were doing well and show strength. I ended up bottling in all my worries and not sharing them with anyone, not even the people closest to me. Unlearning this took me a long time. I still catch myself wanting to say I am doing fine when I am not. We need to start speaking honestly about our mental health. Questions to consider
#2: Shutting out the news and negative things Last year, I was obsessing over the news because I was following the political events in the US. I found myself watching a lot of news. I noticed that what I saw on the news was having a bigger impact on my mental health than I thought. After I went back to work, I realized that I could no longer dedicate brain space to all the bad news. I decided to reduce the amount of news that I read or listen to daily. Guarding my mind has had a positive effect on my overall well-being. Questions to consider
#3: Limiting my circle to have only people who uplift me The people you surround yourself with will influence your happiness and mental health. One thing that I have learned about myself is that I get impacted by the things that others around me are going through. On my quest for mental well-being, I have decided to keep my circle of friends very small. I make sure that people around me influence me positively, that I have a positive impact on their lives, and that we are there for one another through all life experiences. Questions to consider
#4: Saying "No" and setting boundaries Over the past years, I have realized that it is essential for me to set boundaries. The more I have grown, I know that my time and resources are limited. Considering that, I have to say no to things that I do not want to do and things that don't add value to my life. Letting people in my life and at work know what my boundaries are, has improved the quality of my life a lot. If I am spending my time doing something, it is because I want to do it. Questions to consider
#5: Reduce the pressure that I'm putting on myself One thing that impacts my mental health negatively is feeling overwhelmed. After searching for the most frequent cause, I realized that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. I found myself striving for perfection in all areas of my life, which is impossible. Evaluating and resetting the standards that I hold myself to have been a game-changer for me. Sometimes I have to accept that getting something done is good enough, even if it is not perfect. I am also learning that it is ok to rest even when my to-do list is long. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a good reminder for us to prioritize our mental health. We need to take care of our mental health every single day to do all the amazing things we want to do in life. Time for Reflection
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 This year, Mother's Day is incredibly special to me. I am celebrating my motherhood journey as a first-time mom. Life with my son has been one of the most amazing and life-changing journeys in my life. To celebrate this milestone, I will be reflecting on my experiences so far.
In this blog post, I will share the things that have changed over the past almost seven months since I had my baby. First things first - Having a baby during a pandemic Interestingly, I found out I was about six weeks pregnant in early March 2020 when the world was starting to see the impact of the pandemic. Working from home, our state being shut down, and being pregnant at the same time was surreal to me. I wondered how different my experience would have been at any other time. I never expected that my whole pregnancy and birth would happen while a pandemic took a toll on the world and changed our lives forever. How have I changed since I became a mom? The transformation that parents go through when they have children is impressive. Some new things happened, and other things became more heightened. My focus has increased One of my strengths is being focused. However, I have gone through the transformation that I have an additional motivator to be focused on. I am extremely intentional about how I spend my time and invest my energy. Especially since I am working full-time and caring for my baby, my time is very precious. My priority is to make sure my son is well taken care of while I build my career. I prepare for everything Being prepared for even the mundane things is now part of my life. I have my list and calendar appointments for everything. There is so much that I need to take care of these days. Being organized has been very pivotal to my success. I even have a list of the updates and questions for my son's pediatrician. I have become more emotionally sensitive People who know me personally know that I am a very emotional person. It does not take much to see me cry or be happy and sometimes have both feelings simultaneously. These days, I find some news stories that I do not want to watch because they affect me differently. I am generally much more sensitive. My sense of hearing is heightened Before I had a baby, it was not like I did not hear any noises. However, now I hear everything. I hear my baby make sounds in the other room. I hear every dog barking or things happening outside. I am sure my husband is tired of me asking, "did you hear that?". My ability to love unconditionally has multiplied I look at this little baby and wonder how I can love someone so much. Even at the end of a remarkably busy day for both of us, I thank God for the amazing gift of motherhood. I'm blessed that I get to love my son and teach him how to love others. Final Thoughts My motherhood journey has been this amazing because of my wonderful husband and my sister. They have been my constant companions. Seeing my husband being the best father to our son makes me extremely happy. Words cannot describe how blessed I feel to be able to share motherhood stories with my sister. Thank you, MS and DC, for making motherhood an amazing journey and raising our amazing boy. To all the amazing mothers and caregivers, Happy Mother’s Day to you. May you get to experience more joy as you pour into other people's lives.  This year marks twenty years of me living abroad. To celebrate this significant milestone in my life, I am taking a moment to reflect on my journey so far. One thing I have been wondering is how my experiences living in various countries differed. My relocation journeys to Germany and the US have been quite different for many reasons. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. My Age When I moved to Germany in 2001, I was only 15 years old. Thinking back, I really do not know how I did it. When people ask me how I survived in a foreign country at such a young age, I tell them that I did not stop to think about it. I knew that I had to make it work. Fourteen years later, when I moved to the US, I was older and had more life experience. And more importantly, I was mature and knew what I wanted more. What did I learn?
Being mentally prepared Strangely, I was never asked if I wanted to move to Germany. It seemed like the natural next step when I graduated from secondary school (aka high school). I had no idea what I would experience and was not prepared for the journey that I was embarking on. When I relocated to the US, it was my decision, and I had some time to prepare for my move. The most important part was that I was mentally prepared and had an idea of what I could expect. What did I learn?
Facing my fears and worries When I moved to Germany, I did not have time to let fear stop me. Although I was afraid, I had to do everything I could to stay above water and survive. My worries mainly were around finances and being able to study successfully. On the other hand, with the move to the US, I had more to lose as I was in a different phase of my life. I was afraid that if the decision I made was not the right one, it would set me back a few years. I was leaving behind the successful life that I had built in Germany for a new life based on hopes and dreams. What did I learn?
Adapting to cultural differences When I moved to Germany, the cultural shock that I experienced was immense. The culture was vastly different from what I knew growing up in Nigeria. The language barrier made my experience even more difficult. Compared to when I moved to the US, there were still cultural differences. However, this time I spoke the language and was able to adapt a little easier. I also knew that I would experience some culture shock, so I was more prepared. What did I learn?
Hoping for new opportunities When I was going to Germany, I had no idea what opportunities I would have in this new country. It took a while after I moved for me to start to discover them. Coming to the US, I felt like my world was expanding, and great opportunities were available to me. I had learned how to create a plan before I embarked on my quest to start a new life. In addition, I now had the skill set that helped me go after the opportunities I wanted. What did I learn?
Having great people in my life When I moved to Germany, I had to navigate life on my own. The loneliness that I experienced in my first months kept making me want to go back to Nigeria. Thankfully when I moved to the US, I had my now husband here, and he had his established community that I was able to plug into. Having a companion on my journey made my move to the US more delightful. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection They say pictures speak louder than words. The first picture was taken when I moved to Germany in 2001, and the second one was when I moved to the US in 2015. I experienced so many ups and downs between those two pictures. However, one thing remained - my smile.   Especially as we have been socially isolated over the last year, most of us are yearning for deeper human connections. The relationships we have with people in our lives matter now more than ever. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not reap all the benefits from our community because we keep our conversations and interactions superficial. A few years ago, my sister and I decided to have conversations that matter with each other and the people around us. It has been a rewarding change in our lives.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of and how to start having meaningful conversations. What are meaningful conversations?
What are the benefits of having meaningful conversations?
How to start having more meaningful conversations Sharing simple ways to approach having meaningful conversations with the people in your life: #1: Aim to connect on a deeper level Your intention and mindset when you start a conversation set the tone for how it will go. The best conversations happen when you really want to connect with the people you are talking to. Questions to consider:
#2: Make the person feel good A great way to start a deeper connection is to make the person feel comfortable and seen. When I have deep conversations, I want the person to feel that they are enough, have achieved a lot and I care about them. Questions to consider:
#3: Listen attentively to what they need We all know the feeling you have when people really care about you. Give people the opportunity to share what they really need. Questions to consider:
#4: Offer your support We all have something we can offer one another. Thinking about the ways you can contribute to their lives helps you have deeper connections. Questions to consider:
#5: Stay connected The best part of having meaningful conversations is keeping them going. When you make deeper connections, you want to stay connected over time. Questions to consider:
The Deeper Connection Challenge We can all have meaningful conversations over the next weeks. Inspired by #Big Talk, I came up with ten questions we can start asking to help us have meaningful conversations.
Final Thoughts The people in our lives will help us thrive and succeed. Now is a perfect time to make our connections matter. Time for Reflection Do you have conversations that matter? Why do you want to have conversations that matter? Who are you going to connect with over the next weeks? Great resources
 Let us start by acknowledging that we are juggling many things in our lives. Being able to make progress is something that motivates me to get things done. The principles that I will share below have helped me take care of my six-month-old baby while working full-time.
In this blog post, I will share the five principles that help me accomplish important things. #1: Commit to completing your tasks I strongly believe that getting things done starts with your mindset. Really wanting to do something is the first step to success. In addition, if you are going to accomplish great things, you will need to commit to act. When we hold ourselves accountable to take action, we are more likely to progress on things that matter to us. Questions to consider
#2: Prepare ahead of time and have a routine In my experience, preparation is one of my secret strategies to getting things done. If you know a significant life event is about to happen, getting ready for it will help you ensure that you get things done. Knowing that I have the things that I need to complete a task makes it much more manageable. Implementing a routine where you do things repeatedly also helps you be more efficient. Questions to consider
#3: Track your progress Knowing that you are making progress is an integral part of getting things done. When I get swamped and feel like I am not making progress, I go back and look at the tasks that I have completed. Tracking my tasks provides me with a place to look when I start getting discouraged about making progress. About a year ago, I started writing down what I accomplished over the weekend, including resting and having fun. This helps give me a sense of satisfaction when I think about how I am spending my time. Questions to consider
#4: Delegate tasks to others Assigning tasks to others or outsourcing is something that I have been learning to do recently. Sometimes, to make progress, you have to assign tasks to someone else or ask for help. The outcome is what matters, not necessarily who gets it done. For example, I used to put pressure on myself to do all the household chores myself and now I have learned to ask for or hire help. I had to overcome the sense that I was failing because I was not doing everything on my own. Also, I now realize that my time is valuable, and the investment in things that save me time is priceless. Questions to consider
#5: Being kind to yourself As we navigate everyday life, there will be things that either take us much longer to do or that we don't get to do at all. It is important to be gracious to yourself and not beat yourself up. Coming to terms with the realities of what we can do is sometimes extremely difficult to do. I recently went through a stressful period and realized that I was putting myself under a lot of pressure. Now, when I catch myself trying to be perfect in everything, I remind myself to be kind to myself. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts We are all working hard and doing a lot. Now is an excellent time for us to ensure we are doing things that are important to us. Time for Reflection What helps you get things done? What is one principle that you want to start applying to get things done? How are you going to celebrate the progress you are making?  As I have progressed in my career, I have realized that professional allies and advocates are a crucial part of my career journey. In our private lives, we understand the importance of building and maintaining very healthy relationships; the same principle should apply to our professional lives.
In this blog post, I will share the benefits of having professional allies and the best way to leverage them along your career journey. Who are professional allies? Allies are people who offer one another backing, assistance, advice, information, protection, and even friendship. Your professional allies could play different roles such as mentors, sponsors, technical advisors, career advisors. What are the benefits of having professional allies? Great allies support your career in various ways such as:
5 ways to build relationships with your professional allies Find your allies and ensure they are from different backgrounds Being intentional about seeking out and choosing your allies is essential. Many different people could be your professional allies such as your manager, teammate, senior leaders, experienced co-workers or people that report to you. It is crucial for you to continuously identify your professional allies. Strategies to consider
Be clear on what the relationship is and what you want As with every relationship, when you are clear about how you want your allies to support you, you will get the best results. You should be able to clearly map out how your professional allies can positively influence your career and help you accomplish your goals. Strategies to consider
Make sure they know your work Your allies can talk more about your work when you share details with them. You do not work closely with your allies in some cases, but you want them to feel like they know what you do. You are the best person to share your professional accomplishments. Strategies to consider
Meet with them regularly In any good relationship, conversations and connections happen regularly. To stay top of mind for your professional allies, it is crucial to stay connected. You want to make sure you are not only reaching out when you have issues. Sharing good updates with them is also unbelievably valuable. Strategies to consider
Provide your professional allies value As much as you receive support, you want to give the same. We all appreciate when people who we invest in also give back to us. You have something to offer your professional allies as well. We all have different perspectives and can enrich each other's lives when we share. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts You do not have to feel lonely on your career journey. Surround yourself with amazing people who can help you thrive and enjoy your work. Time for Reflection What type of allies do you need to seek out? Who are people around you who you want to convert to professional allies? How are you going to build solid relationships with your allies? Great Resources  After 20 years of living in Germany and the US, I have learned many valuable lessons. The good and bad experiences have prepared me for where I am today. As I reflected on how our lives have changed over the past year, I realized that moving and living in different countries helped me survive during this pandemic.
In this blog post, I will share ten things that I experienced living in different countries that prepared me for living through a pandemic. Check out my "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences so far. Lesson #1: Adapting quickly to unexpected situations When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my life would be like years later. I quickly learned that adapting to unexpected situations was necessary for me to thrive. I had grand plans on where I want to be in five years. If you have been following my journey, you know that my life in Germany brought many new experiences that I did not imagine. Fast forward to 2020, a year that made us all change our plans. I quickly accepted the situations and adapted to change, which was one key lesson I learned going through some disappointment and unexpected experiences. Lesson #2: Missing family milestones and celebrations Over the years, living in other countries, I have missed some major family milestones and celebrations. In the beginning, I used to get affected and be engulfed with wishing I was there in person to mark the occasions. I had to learn that I will miss milestones as part of living abroad, and it was ok. Coming to 2020, there have been many life events that we have not celebrated with our families. I still cannot believe that our families have not yet met our son. Lesson #3: Adapting to spending holidays alone (or with my small family) The first Christmas I spent alone in Germany was brutal. Coming from Nigeria, where holidays were a huge celebration, I was not ready for a cold and lonely time in Germany. It took me a few years to get used to the different holidays and build my own holiday traditions. I started really enjoying quiet holidays. When I moved to the US, my husband and I started spending a part of the holidays with our family in Southern California. In 2020, we did not get to spend any holidays with our family or friends. However, we made sure we enjoyed spending the holidays in a special way. Lesson #4: Valuing your personal connections The people that I have met on my journey have been one of the best parts of my life abroad. Especially in a year when everything was chaotic, I went back to the basics of what has helped me thrive on my journey. I reactivated my human connections, and they helped me through 2020. Reflecting on last year, I created some great memories with my friends and family virtually. I appreciate all the amazing people in my life. Lesson #5: Create memories whenever you can I strongly believe that the small memories that we make every day matter, not only the significant memories. My husband and I were very intentional about creating happy memories during the year. We wanted to be able to think back to 2020 and remember the small things that made us smile or brought us joy. As I have moved between cities and countries, I learned the value of keeping all my memories. I can still tell happy stories from my life in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Lesson #6: Find the small things you enjoy and do them Especially when you make huge changes in your life, the little things start to matter even more. Celebrating the little things has made my journey so far unforgettable. I learned to make every win count. When I moved to the US, I was more intentional and celebrated the good things in my life. In 2020, acknowledging the small, good things that were in my life became even more critical. By focusing on the positive, I was able to survive the more trying times. Lesson #7: Having empathy for people in different situations During the pandemic, we have seen many people go through different situations. As I have lived in different countries, I have gotten to know people from different backgrounds. Building those relationships has taught me how to care for others whose experiences differ from mine. Having empathy for people changed how I view the world and become more aware of how it is not always about me. I appreciate the perspective that I have been granted through my experiences. Lesson #8: Believing in yourself We have all had to do things that we never thought we could do over the past year. We discovered that we are stronger than we think. Leaving home at the age of 15 to move to Germany, I did not know the strength and resilience I had. Now looking back on my journey, I had what it took to succeed. Although I had no idea what 2020 would bring, my strength and resilience was put to a test and I learned that I could survive this situation. Lesson #9: Be thankful and appreciate the good Especially during uncertain times and situations that we do not feel we can control; it is easy to focus on what is going wrong. My husband and I remind ourselves of the good in our lives and the privilege that we have. Not complaining and dwelling on what we do not have, has given me peace over the last year. My mindset is to be grateful no matter what happens in your life. #10: Finding joy wherever I find myself For the first seven years of my life in Germany, I silently wished I was somewhere else. I wanted to be back in Nigeria around my family and my community. This mindset hindered me from settling down and enjoying my life. After seven years, I decided to enjoy myself wherever I find myself. It has been a life-changing experience. These days, I am intentional about finding the good in my life where I am today. I now know that I can be happy in whatever situation that I find myself in. Final Thoughts We may not always understand why we experience certain things. However, I am convinced that there is a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned. Time for Reflection
 Working towards financial independence and stability is a priority for me. I strongly believe that to live and thrive in our lives, we need to be in control of our finances. I acknowledge that finances are a very personal topic, as everyone's experiences and status vary. It is crucial that you are taking steps towards being financially healthy no matter what your current financial situation is.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I am doing differently with my money this year. Check out my other "Her Finances" posts for amazing financial tips. Starting Point: Reflecting on my financial journey I have had a sometimes good and bad relationship with money all my life. Growing up, we faced some financial challenges. A lot of my memories were centered around things that we lacked. Interestingly, my sister and I had a happy childhood, but there was always an underlying concern for how we will get things we needed. Living through those experiences made me resolute about having more positive experiences with my finances. Fast forward to 2001 when I moved to Germany. I was still struggling financially. As a student, I had to work multiple jobs at a library, café, babysitting, and other small jobs to survive. As you can imagine, that is not the quickest path to accumulating wealth. However, in those difficult times, I learned the most valuable lesson about financial health. The lesson that I learned was that I had to start taking small actions to achieve financial wellbeing. I started building my savings with small amounts that I could afford and have continued this practice until today. Over the past 20 years, I have added more tools to my toolkit that have helped me grow my finances. I am still learning and unlearning so many lessons about money. What am I doing differently this year? As I set my financial goals in 2021, I asked myself what financial decisions have helped me accomplish my goals so far and what new things I was willing to explore. Some of the things that I will be doing differently include the following: #1: Enjoying my money a little and paying for services that simplify my life Especially when you have been poor at some point in your life, it can be hard to enjoy your money. This year, I want to permit myself to do things for myself. In this phase of my life, as I am working a full-time job with a baby, this point is even more important. There are some "luxuries" that I would like to spend money on to save my time and improve the quality of my life. #2: Creating forums to share and learning bold things people are doing financially There is a lot of power in sharing your knowledge and learning from others. I want to normalize conversations about money with other amazing women in my community. I am incredibly interested in learning how others who have built sustainable wealth, explored new avenues to grow their finances, overcome generational financial challenges, and how they are continuously working towards financial independence. I also want to offer myself as an accountability partner to anyone who wants to accomplish big things financially. #3: Getting professional financial help One of the things that I have been planning to do is talking to professionals about some steps that I can take to build wealth. I have a lot to learn about investing, optimizing my taxes, planning for my son, and putting long-term plans in place for retirement. Learning from financial experts will help me make the bold moves that I plan to with my money in 2021. #4: Restarting my investing With everything that happened in 2020, I stopped investing. This decision was counterintuitive as it was a good time to invest. I was so scared of being financially unstable that I wanted to hold on to my money. This year, I want to start investing again, explore new avenues such as buying property and building long-term wealth. Although I know that Investing is the right thing for me to be doing at this stage of my financial journey, I am overly cautious. #5: Facing my fears around finances Interestingly, one of my biggest fears is being broke. It is one thought that guides a lot of the decisions that I make around money. While I want to stay financially responsible, I do not want to be driven by fear. I want to be free to do new things with my money and not be constantly concerned about being financially unstable. Final Thoughts There is so much we can learn and explore when it comes to our finances. To start your own journey to financial independence, evaluate what you are doing now, identify what you want to be doing differently, and start doing those things. Call to Action
 Over the past months, I have been thinking about the power of sharing our life stories. Have you ever told someone something about yourself and they say, “oh wow, that is a very interesting background “? Has your response been “no, it’s not that remarkable, many people have experienced similar things”? That is exactly how I have responded to people's comments when I share my story with them. It has been my way of normalizing and minimizing my unique life experiences. However, this year as I celebrate the huge milestone of living abroad for 20 years, I am determined to celebrate my journey and no longer take my experiences for granted.
In this blog post, I will share how I am approaching telling my story to commit publicly to ensure that I follow through. This officially kicks off my "Her Story" series, where I will share different experiences and lessons learned. Background In 2019, I had the strong desire to start writing down my story. I set a goal to write my story by the time I turned 35 in 2020. Well, many unexpected things happened differently last year like a global pandemic and having a baby. Having my son rekindled my desire to tell my story. I have decided to take steps this year and start sharing my experiences with the world. This is one of my bold 2021 goals. Why am I telling my story? I like to start by asking myself what my motivation is and the outcome that I hope to accomplish by doing it with everything I do. As I began to think about why I wanted to tell my story, I realized that the reasons why I wanted to embark on this journey varied vastly. Some of them include:
What is holding me back? As I embark on this new and scary journey, a few thoughts are holding me back from doing this amazing thing.
How am I going to approach telling my story? Although I have some fears and concerns about sharing my story, I have decided that it is something that I need to do for my growth. For things that seem too big or scary, I create a plan and start working on them one task at a time. I will be taking the following steps over the next months on my quest to tell my story.
Final Thoughts If you have ever wondered how remarkable your story is, remember that you are the only one who has lived the life you have and walked in your shoes - Your story is special and unique. And if you have been thinking about writing or sharing your story, I encourage you to join me on this bold journey. Time to Reflect What part of your story do you want to tell people but have not permitted yourself to? How do you think sharing your story will help others? What is holding you back from sharing your story? How will you overcome your fears and take the bold step to share your story?  It is mid-March and an excellent time for your first quarterly goals review. A time to reflect on your goals and review your plan. Let me start by saying this, if you are already feeling like you are not making enough progress this year, do not be discouraged. This time of reflection is your opportunity to make necessary changes to turn things around and start making progress. And if you are making progress, that is awesome. You can set up sustainable practices to continue the momentum.
In this blog post, I will share five things you can do during your reviews to accomplish your goals in 2021. Check out my blog post on "Why are you not achieving your goals?." Starting point: Why should you do regular goals reviews? One of the planning tools that have helped me accomplish my goals is regular reviews. I have made it a routine to do monthly and quarterly reviews. During your reviews, you reflect on the past months and plan for the coming months. The reviews’ primary objective is to ensure that you know where you stand today compared to where you want to be. I have found it very helpful to block out two hours of my time, sit in a very comfortable place and take out my notebook. Making time and getting into my zone helps me focus on the task at hand. Having regular reviews has helped me stay on track and accomplish my big goals. #1: Take stock of where you are compared to where you want to be We are three months through the year and have nine more months to go. This is a great time to check on the progress you have made towards your goals. The advantage of taking stock of where you are is that you learn about how far you have come, and you can start thinking about the changes you need to make. As you reflect on where you are, you want to be honest with yourself and evaluate your actual progress. This is a very important step if you are going to start or continue making great progress. Strategies to consider
#2: Celebrate the progress you have made Reflecting on what has been going well so far will help give you a boost for the rest of the year. Think about the small, medium, and big things that you have accomplished so far. This exercise is not always easy because we tend to focus on only big wins or areas where we have not made progress. Starting with your accomplishments shows you that you have made some progress this year. Even if you are making slower progress than you planned, remember that you have made progress and know how to make progress. Strategies to consider
#3: Explore areas where you have not made progress We still have nine months this year to make progress on our goals. This is a great time to reassess your priorities, actions you took, challenges that you faced. Knowing where you did not make as much progress is important. You can start by asking yourself why you think you did not make progress. Some of the reasons could be that the goals are not really important to you or that you did not have access to the resources needed to accomplish the goal. Strategies to consider
#4: Adjust your plan for action Now that you have reflected on where you are, celebrated your wins, explored areas where you have not made progress, you can now make adjustments to your plan. Focus on thinking about the activities that you want to work on over the next months and what you need to complete them. I recommend focusing on detailed planning for the next three months before your next review. This is also the best time to think about new goals that you might want to work on. Strategies to consider
#5: Recommit to your goals and take action There is something powerful about reminding yourself of your goals and actively recommitting to work on them. Personally, I have found that I leave my reviews feeling energized about the next months and the progress that I will be making towards accomplishing my goals. Remind yourself that reviews are a tool to help you refocus on what really matters. If you realized that you needed to change things, now is the time where you start making changes. Strategies to consider
Time for Reflection
 On March 8th, we celebrate International Women's Day. This year’s theme is #ChooseToChallenge: We can all choose to challenge and call out gender bias and inequality. We can all choose to seek out and celebrate women's achievements. And from challenge comes change. So let's all #ChooseToChallenge.
In this blog post, I will share the thoughts I have around Women's day this year with the help of five questions. What do gender bias and inequality mean? I like to start with defining terms to ensure that we understand what they mean. Gender Bias is defined as the unfair difference in the way women and men are treated, while Gender Inequity is defined as the social process by which men and women are not treated as equals. What do gender bias and inequality mean to me? Growing up In Nigeria, the culture propagates that there are significant differences between men and women. There is a mindset that women are weaker, and they are not given equal access to opportunities. It starts with limiting the belief in what girls can become when they grow up to being trained to think that the highest accomplishment for a woman is getting married and having children. There were so many examples of women that I knew who were not set up for success and fully dependent on the men in their lives. Fast forward to now, building my career as a woman in technology, bias and inequities exist in different ways. Ranging from the way people apply a gender lens when they view my contribution to not having access to the same networks and opportunities because of my gender. Another inequity that I experience is around compensation for the work that I do compared to my male peers. How do we challenge inequality and bias when we see it? Challenging inequity and bias is not the easiest thing to do. This International Women's Day theme is special because it reminds me that we need to choose to challenge and call out gender inequity and bias. Sometimes, I feel like I can challenge bias or inequity when it happens to others, more than when it is happening to me. Being an advocate and ally for others comes easily to me. I have learned that there is power in speaking out when we see something wrong. Furthermore, we can make a huge difference when we empower others to stand against the bias that they experience. How do we train our children to challenge inequality? As we continue to fight inequity, it is crucial that we pass on the knowledge to the next generation. Our sons and daughters need to be educated about inequity and the role they can plan to make the world more inclusive. I feel responsible for teaching my son, nieces, and nephews that they are equal and can achieve everything they want to do irrespective of their gender. I know that I can influence the next generation through the children that are in my family or the ones I meet. Thinking about the next generation and how we can change the world through them gives me hope. What concrete actions can we all take to create a more inclusive world? The great news is that we can all take action against gender bias and inequity. I came up with a list of three concrete things that we can all do. Firstly, we can increase the visibility of the biases we see every day. Secondly, we can uplift women and celebrate their accomplishments. Finally, we can collaborate with and support people who need a small boost to shine. Final Thoughts As we celebrate International Women's Day, let us celebrate our awesomeness and the amazing women in our lives. Take a moment to reflect on your strength as a woman. Happy Women's Day to all the women out there who are working to make the world a better place! Time for Reflection How are you going to challenge inequity and gender bias in your life? How will you uplift the women in your life? How will you celebrate yourself today?  One thing has been true for my time in the US; the time has gone by very quickly. I cannot believe that I have lived here for six years already. When I relocated from Germany in 2015, I had no idea how my life would change in only six years. So much happened in this year that I could not have imagined or planned for. The theme for my sixth year in the US was " even in the midst of chaos, there is hope for beauty to be created."
In this blog post, I will reflect on my sixth year in the US. This continues my "Her Relocation" series, where I talk about my experience living in multiple countries over the past 20 years. Check out my previous posts about My Life in the US - Year 1, Year 2&3, Year 4, and Year 5. Hoping for a change in the government Politics has never impacted my life directly as it has since I moved to the US. In my sixth year, I spent a lot of time hoping for the previous administration's end. Waiting for the results of the election was a very emotional time for me. I could not imagine reliving the past six years. Thankfully, I can relax a little and not worry about what policies will be made that will affect me as an immigrant in the US. Another good side effect is that I have learned so much about the American government over the past years. Surviving a pandemic In February of 2020, I traveled to Kirkland in Washington state, the epicenter of the virus outbreak. At that time, we had no idea how bad things would be. Initially, we thought things would go back to normal within a few months. Sadly, that was not the case. Seeing how long it is taking to get the virus under control is something that I could never have imagined. The pandemic's most significant impact on my life has been that I have not been able to see family in the UK and Nigeria. Experiencing Racial injustice The racial injustice uprising in the US over the past year has opened my eyes to many things around race and inequity. Interestingly, I have never been more aware of my race than I am living here in the US. My black experience has been different because of my bi-cultural background. I realized that in the past, I hardly shared my experience being a black woman in technology. This past year, I was given the opportunity to share my story, and I took it. Being vocal about the good and the bad experiences I have had living in Germany and the US was very liberating. Missing Germany Especially with everything going on in the US this past year, I have been reminiscing about my life in Germany. While I watched the news and had conversations with my friends who still lived in Germany, I found myself missing the little things that made my years in Germany enjoyable. Do not get me wrong, I know that I am where I need to be. However, there are some little things that I wish can be part of my life here. I have been thinking about beautiful things like shopping in Aldi, visiting the Christmas Market, eating delicious bread, and being able to walk around. I guess there will always be a part of me that longs for some of the things I got to experience in Germany. Having a Baby in a foreign land When you move to a new country, some experiences impact your life in a major way. For me, having a baby in the US was an incredibly special experience. The norms and practices are quite different from Nigeria or Germany. My biggest fear was that the healthcare system would fail me because I had heard the horror stories from other people who had their babies here. Thankfully, that was not my experience. Everything went smoothly, and we have a healthy baby boy. Enjoying my home It is strange, but I feel like the past year helped me build more roots in the US. I just realized that I have not traveled to any other country since May 2018. We had a big trip planned to see family in 2020 but that did not happen. Without being able to travel, I found myself deepening my roots where I live today. Realizing that this is where I will be for most of the time helped me feel more settled. I have been having a nice time while I wait to be able to travel again. Final Thoughts - 10 Lessons I learned
 At the beginning of the year, most people think about their goals for the year. However, this year, some people have decided not to set goals or set small ones because they want to avoid being disappointed when they do not accomplish their goals. Lately, I have been reflecting and talking to people about the barriers we face as we work on our goals. When we know what it is standing in the way of us accomplishing our goals, we can address them and be successful.
In this blog post, I will share the top ten reasons why we are not achieving our goals and living the lives we desire. At the end of this year, I want all of us to have accomplished all we planned to. #1: We don't have a deep reason why we want to accomplish them When we think about our goals, we should know why we want to accomplish them. Often, we set goals because we either feel that it is what we are expected to achieve or someone else has those goals. If you do not have a deep reason for why certain goals are important to you, it will be hard to work on them. The motivation that you need to accomplish your goals comes from you really wanting to accomplish them. Questions to consider
#2: We set goals and do not plan activities to do every day towards accomplishing those goals At the beginning of the year, we set these huge goals and then at the end of the year we expect to have accomplished them. We will be more successful if we plan activities and make time to work on them. Breaking down your goals into small tasks that you work on every day will help you accomplish your big goals. Questions to consider
#3: We lack a good planning and review process If you set goals at the beginning of the year and then abandon them, you will most likely not accomplish anything. It is crucial to have a plan for how you will work towards your goals. In addition, as you go through the year you want to make time to review your goals, reflect on the progress you have made and plan your next activities. Questions to consider
#4: We take on too much and do not prioritize Knowing the number and size of goals you can work on without feeling too overwhelmed and quitting is essential. While it is good to stretch yourself and try new things, there are some limits that you need to be aware of. Check in with yourself when you set goals to avoid doing too much at once. Setting good priorities is a great way to filter your list of goals and make time for the most important ones. Questions to consider
#5: We do not celebrate our wins (including the small ones) Working on goals throughout the year can be an exhausting process. Especially when you are working on big goals, it is particularly important to celebrate your wins. Being intentional about measuring your progress and celebrating your successes will give you the energy you need to accomplish your goals. I keep an accomplishments log that I can go to when I start feeling discouraged. Seeing how far I have come gives me hope for the future and keeps me going. Questions to consider
#6: We have not equipped ourselves with the right tools Thankfully, we live in a time when some great tools and resources can help us work on our goals. Personally, I ensure that I identify the tools that I need to be successful when I set my goals. One of the tools I use the most is my calendar. Now that I know how important seeing progress is for me, I make sure that I use the tools at my disposal. Questions to consider
#7: We try to do it all on our own Especially if you are working on big goals, it can feel isolating. Think about the people in your life who help you thrive. Over the past years, I have come to value my support community a lot. The support of women I trust to give me feedback and celebrate my progress has been pivotal. Surrounding yourself with people you can talk to about your goals and hold you accountable for taking action will help you accomplish more Questions to consider
#8: We do not set goals for important parts of our lives As humans, there are many facets and areas of our lives. To achieve balance in life, you need to set goals in all areas of your life where you want to make progress. I started feeling more accomplished when I set goals in all aspects of my life such as family, professional, finances, learning, and others. Questions to consider
#9: We let setbacks stop us from trying new things It is hard to continue doing something when you feel like you are repeatedly failing at it. Personally, I believe that when things do not go as planned, there is a message for me. It either teaches me some valuable lessons or is a signal for a change that I need to make. It is crucial to understand exactly what a setback means, pick yourself back up and continue working towards your goals. Questions to consider
#10: We set small goals and limit ourselves If you want to accomplish big things in your life, you need to start setting bold goals. Thinking about those goals might seem scary. However, when you write them down and start taking small steps, you will start to believe that you can accomplish them. I have made more progress on big goals when I commit to taking small actions one step at a time. Questions to consider
Great Resources I really enjoy sharing knowledge about setting and accomplishing your goals. Check out some of my other blog posts that provide tips and tricks to help you thrive this year:
Time to reflect Which two mistakes have you been making with regards to your goals? What are you committing to do differently this year to set yourself up for success?  2021 is well underway, and we are already seven weeks into the year. Now is an excellent time to remind ourselves of what we are excited about and looking forward to experiencing. Having a positive outlook and plan will make great things happen in your life.
In this blog post, I will share five things that I am looking forward to this year. Starting point: how I came up with my list As I reflected on 2020 and prepared for 2021, I asked myself what would make me happy this year. At the end of 2021, I want to feel fulfilled and accomplished. Thinking about where I want to be will serve as a guiding light throughout the year. Some of the things that I am excited about include the following. #1: Doing things that I did not do much of in 2020 With how unexpected things were in 2020, I noticed that I stopped doing some things that I love and help me make progress. It was important to me to restart some of those things. On my list so far, I want to do more of the following: listen to podcasts, read books, host mastermind groups, attend events virtually, coach, and connect with other women. I am looking forward to being energized again. #2: Celebrating huge milestones One of the things that I am looking to do more of in 2021 is celebrating my accomplishments. This year, I have many opportunities to reflect on my journey so far and appreciate how far I have come. In 2021, I will be celebrating two significant milestones. Firstly, 20 years of living abroad in 4 countries, 6 cities and a lot of learnings. Secondly, it will be three years of following my dream to launch my blog and two years of my YouTube channel. I have so much to be thankful for. #3: Embarking on a New Journey The birth of my son marked the start of a new journey for me. I am looking forward to exploring Motherhood and learning a lot. We all go through some significant life changes, and this is one of those changes for me. Watching my son grow and blossom will definitely bring me joy this year. I plan to enjoy all the moments with my family. #4: Growing things that I built Building a community of women who support one another has always been my dream. In 2020, with everything going on globally, I had to put many of the plans I had on hold. This year, I am committed to continue what I started and make new connections. I want to find new ways to bring together amazing women and celebrate their greatness. I am looking forward to helping women build the lives they desire. #5: Doing new things that I have been afraid to do When I set goals, I intend to set big ones. However, I find myself setting "safe goals" that I think I can achieve to avoid disappointment. This year I want to work on big goals that I have been too scared to commit to. I know that a lot of my growth this year will come from stretching myself and exploring things that I have not done before. I will be pushing myself to tell new parts of my story, offer new services in my business, work on new projects, and make bolder financial moves. At the end of the year, I want to say that I accomplished big things. Final Thoughts We have the opportunity to accomplish great things every new day or year that we are alive. As you go through the year, find those moments that give you hope and enjoy them. As you accompany me on my journey this year, I would also like to be your companion on yours. Please share your plans and experiences with me. Time for Reflection
 2020 was a year that we will all remember forever. At the beginning of 2020, I had no idea how the year will be for me personally and could not have imagined the changes in our world. A lot of people talk about wanting to forget everything about last year. Before we file the year away, I would like to take a short moment to reflect and highlight the learnings that I will be leveraging in 2021.
In this blog post, I will be sharing the top five lessons that I learned in 2020. 2020 in summary Let me start with some things that happened in my life in 2020 - Global Pandemic, pregnancy, becoming a mother, US election, and advancing at work. If you asked me to summarize 2020 in three phrases, I would say - unexpected experiences, great gifts, and constant change. Lesson #1: About plans - they are essential even during chaotic times Having a positive attitude when your plans change is crucial. I always thought that I did not like change. Something that I learned about myself is that I actually like change when I have a plan. Let me explain what I mean by that. If I have a plan and it changes, I can adapt quicker. However, if I do not have a plan, adapting to change amid chaos is extremely difficult. Now that I know that about myself, I adjust my plan and continue making progress when things change in my life. 2020 was filled with plan changes starting from canceling planned time with family, working from home, being pregnant, and living through a pandemic. Lesson #2: About relationships - value them and make an effort to stay connected Especially with everything going on last year, the people in my life became even more important. I reconnected with people and made more effort to connect virtually with them. My family and friends helped me thrive and navigate being pregnant and having a baby in a pandemic. 2020 highlighted the importance of my support community. We navigated the uncertainty together, talked about our concerns, and encouraged each other. Lesson #3: About my mindset and outlook on life - being positive is hard work, but it is worth it Having a positive outlook on life kept me in a good place mentally over the past year. Being optimistic provides the fuel you need to keep going when you are faced with uncertainty and adversity. As I observed everything going on in the world, I needed to remind myself of how fortunate I was. I focused more on the good things that were happening in my life. This helped me enjoy life despite all the unexpected changes in the world. Lesson #4: About my inner strength- there is deep resilience that I did not know I had The hardships that I faced in different phases of my life prepared me for an unexpected year like 2020. I leveraged a lot of what I had learned through those experiences. Being able to pivot and try new things when things do not work out is a skill that I learned, especially when I just moved to Germany. The plans that I had for my life changed a lot, and many things were out of my control. With everything that happened in 2020, I recovered quickly and was strong when I had to do a lot on my own. Lesson #5: About gratitude- we have a lot to be grateful for With everything that happened in 2020, I came out feeling very thankful. Amid the chaos in the world, great things happened in my life. I have a baby boy, a loving relationship with my husband, a job where I can continue working at home, I am healthy, and my family is doing well. Sometimes it is really hard to see all the good that is happening around us because the bad things are clouding our sight. I am now very intentional about counting my blessings and celebrating the good in my life. Final Thoughts As I wrapped up 2020, I compared what I had planned versus what really happened. Somethings that I planned came true, and others did not. This reflection exercise helped me see the progress that I made and realize what I wanted to focus on in 2021.
In my next blog post, I will be sharing what I'm looking forward to in 2021. Time for reflection What did you learn in 2020? What do you want to do differently in 2021? What are you excited about in 2021?  Hi everyone - I am back :) I am incredibly excited to be writing and sharing with you all again.
At the end of September last year, I shared that I was taking a break for a little while. Interestingly, I was not sure how long I would be away for. It has been four months and a lot has happened. This week, I am restarting aspects of my life that were on temporary hold. I am going back to work, posting weekly blog posts, and sharing with our community. In this blog post, I will share highlights of what has been happening in my life over the past four months. Becoming a mother My life changed in a major way when I gave birth to a baby boy in October. Everything they say about your love multiplying when you have children is absolutely true. Every time I see his face, my heart fills with joy. Being a mother has been an amazing experience for me. One of the reasons my journey has been incredible is that I have a great husband who is the best father to our little boy. I am being very intentional about enjoying each day with my boys and counting my blessings. Surviving and thriving during a pandemic Being pregnant and having a baby during a global pandemic brought many unexpected experiences. When the pandemic started in early 2020, I was sure that it would be under control by the last quarter of the year. Sadly, that was not the reality. Especially here in the US, we have been going through many waves and spikes. I learned to adapt and accept a new normal. Celebrating a special birthday In 2020, our birthday was incredibly special. Yes, I said our - referring to my twin and I. It was special because we were both celebrating the birth of dreams that we have carried in us for years. As we have grown up and gone on to live our individual lives, we have marked and celebrated our milestones mostly separately. But this year, we got to celebrate something significant in both of our lives. Celebrating my sister as her dream came true My twin sister Melissa-Sue followed her dream and launched her first single - Faithful. Check out the story behind the song. Words cannot describe how proud I am that she is finally sharing her unique gift with the world. I like to think that I am her number one fan. Celebrating the Holidays during the pandemic Christmas and New Year’s celebration was quite different for us. Over the past years, we had the opportunity to spend some time with family and friends. However, due to travel restrictions and stay at home orders, we could not see people in person. We adjusted and made the best of the situation. We organized great video calls with our family and friends in the US, UK, and Nigeria instead. It allowed us to celebrate the holidays quietly with our newborn. Final Thoughts The last months have been very eventful, and I am beyond thankful for everything. I am back and ready to do great things in 2021. Watch this space for new blogs, videos and follow me on my journey as I do new things that I have been too afraid to do. In my upcoming posts, I will be sharing more about what I learned in 2020, my goals for 2021 and all the new things that I have been planning. Thanks for being a companion on my journey so far and the future I am about to embark on. Cheers to a great year and us accomplishing our big dreams!  Every year in October, I go through a time of deep reflection on my year and journey so far. The timing coincides with my birthday and the start of a new year in my life. This year I am planning to create more space and take more time off from doing some of the things I do.
2020 has been a year filled with learnings and unexpected experiences for a lot of us. With the year that we have had, I decided to take some weeks off from blogging and making videos. The thought of taking a break excites me even though I have been very busy doing things that I love and enjoy. I have been blogging weekly for almost 3 years and releasing videos for a year and a half. Looking back I am really proud of what I am accomplished. I know that to go to the next level, I need some time to do less and reflect. Knowing myself, I know that I still need a plan for the time that I am taking off. On my break I will be spending time doing the following:
Thank you all for being my companions on this journey so far. I am looking forward to coming back inspired and with new energy for the future. See you all soon!  You are unique, amazing and a great person. The more you know yourself, the easier it is to see how amazing you are. Especially at times when you need motivation, being able to remind yourself of your uniqueness helps give you a positive outlook.
In this blog post, we will explore different tools that can help you get to know yourself. Check out previous Her Toolkit posts to help you build your personal and professional development toolkit. Why is it important to get to know yourself?
What has been my experience with getting to know myself? Looking back on my journey, I realized that for the longest time I let other people define who I was. As I went through major transitions, I started to see that I did not really know myself. I did not know what I liked, my strengths or my worth. Spending time discovering myself has helped me find new and exciting things about myself. Getting to know myself and rediscovering myself is the greatest gift that I keep giving myself. What tools can we use? Sharing some of my previous blog posts where I shared very useful tools that helped me Know your worth! - ask for what you want and deserve Know Your Strengths - look at all the things you are good at Celebrate your accomplishments - appreciate the great moments in your life Start your Self-discovery journey - spend time getting to know your awesome self Know what you are afraid of - push past your fears and do great things Great Resources Check out my videos on Learning Self-Acceptance and How to get the value from self-assessments. Call to Action What do you love about yourself? Celebrate yourself  To accomplish the big goals that you have in your life, it is crucial to make continuous learning a priority. There is always a new skill that you can learn that will help amplify your success.
In this blog post, we will explore different tools that can help us continue learning. Check out previous Her Toolkit posts to help you build your personal and professional development toolkit. Why is it important to continuously learn?
What has been my experience with learning? Often when people ask me what has helped me get to where I am today, I often refer to the fact that I am always learning new things. Every day, I acknowledge that to get to where I want to be, I need to keep learning. To ensure that I have time to learn, I include learning goals in my yearly plans and ensure that I reserve time to learn regularly. Some of the different ways I learn include taking formal courses, learning from others, learning on the job and studying available resources. I now know that I enjoy learning and get excited when I look back on all the new things that I have learned over time. What tools can we use? Sharing some of my previous blog posts where I shared very useful tools that helped me
Great Resources Check out my videos on My experience learning to fail and Continuous Learning as a Tool to Build your Career. Call to Action What new things are you planning to learn over the next months? How can learning something new change your life? |
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