 As we progress and grow in our lives, we experience new things. Interestingly, I did not think about all the additional transitions I will have to go through as a Mother. Now I am here and learning how to manage my emotions and adapt to changes in our lives. I am also very aware that this is only the beginning, and many more transitions are coming our way as parents. This is year two of a very long journey with our son.
In this blog post, I will share my experience and how I am preparing for this new phase in my life as a mother. MC's Journey: Navigating our Childcare changes Our son was born at the height of the pandemic, which meant that my husband and I had to start our journey as parents on our own. Our family lives far away, and with the travel restrictions, they could not come to visit us. As a result, we cared for our newborn on our own and continued to do so for the first 14 months of his life. I learned to navigate caring for him while working full-time from when he was 3,5 months old. At the beginning of 2022, when infection rates were lower where we live, we hired a nanny who came in for about sixteen hours a week while we covered the rest of the time. I am fortunate to work from home, which worked very well for us. Now that our son is turning two years old in a few weeks, we are ready to expand his social circle. My little baby is starting Daycare. We know that he is ready, and it is a part of his development. However, thinking about the transition has been very emotional for me. For the first time in his life, he will be away from my husband and I, in someone else's care outside of our home. How am I preparing myself for the transition? Educating myself Until we had a child, I had no idea how the school system in the US worked. I was a little more aware of how schools worked in Germany because I lived there for a long time and learned from my sister and friends who had kids. So, when we started talking about our son starting Daycare, my husband and I had to read up and talk to people around us. We are still learning a lot of new things. I am looking forward to expanding our community of parents as well. Accepting the feelings I have When people asked me in my early adulthood what my weakness was, I would say that I do not do well with changes. A few years ago, I realized that I have actually experienced a lot of change in my life and the change itself is not the issue. I now know that the impact of the change is what concerns me. Although I have accepted the change, I still feel emotional about everything that will be different due to the change. When I think about our son going to Daycare, I am very excited for him. However, the thought of him being away from us for hours a day makes me uneasy. I have been spending time thinking about what I am worried about and finding some techniques to help me adapt. Preparing myself We had about six months between when we enrolled our son in Daycare and when he is actually going to start. It has given me a lot of time to get prepared in my mind. If you know me, you know that I use preparation as a technique to address nervousness about new and significant milestones. I am very thankful that I have planning skills that I apply to get my mind ready for the change. Once I have a plan, I find embracing the changes in my life easier. Preparing my family With our son going to Daycare, all our routines will change. My husband and I have started talking about the adjustments we will make. The next area that I focused on was ensuring we have everything our son will need for Daycare. I was shopping for things as if he was going to college. It is important that we have the critical things covered for his first weeks in Daycare. We can then learn about what else we need and get those. This is all part of the learning journey that we are embarking on. Being thankful, brave, and hopeful I am embarking on this journey with a lot of excitement for our son, as well as looking forward to how much he will learn from Daycare and then school when the time comes. We are incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to care for our son at home over the past two years. I know that I will smile when I look back in a few months and remember how nervous I am now. As with other transitions, I know that we will thrive and succeed as a family. Final Thoughts I would like to wrap up this post by celebrating all the amazing parents and caretakers who are caring for children. It is a huge responsibility that grows exponentially every year. Being raised by a single mother and seeing my sister being a great mum, I have great role models who have gone before me. Thank you to all parents and caregivers !!!
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 As the third quarter of the year comes to an end, it is a great time to check in on our goals and start preparing for next year. There is something powerful about this time of the year, summer is over in the northern hemisphere, the new school year has started, and we are ready for the final months of this year. A few years ago, I started aligning my personal planning timeline to the one I use at work. We kicked off planning for the next year already in August. This gives us enough time to reflect on our progress this year and sufficiently prepare for the next year.
In this blog post, we will start dreaming of the year we want to have in 2023 and check the progress we have made toward our goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life. 5 Questions to kick-off planning for 2023 #1: How will you prioritize your wellbeing? Our physical and mental wellbeing are the solid foundation that is needed to live an amazing life. By knowing what contributes to your wellbeing and then prioritizing it, you will have a great year. Strategies to consider
#2: What memories are you looking forward to creating with your family and friends? We are fortunate to have people we get to experience life with. Being intentional about spending time with the people we care about helps us build the best memories. Strategies to consider
#3: What brave thing do you want to do? You will be proud of being brave when you look back at the year. Challenge yourself to overcome your fears and be brave. There are so many experiences that still await us. Think about something you have always wanted to do and commit to completing in 2023. Strategies to consider
#4: What progress do you want to make at work or in your business? We spend a lot of time at work or in our business. It would be awesome to know that we are also making progress professionally. Being strategic about skills we need to learn and steps we want to take in our careers will yield the desired success. Strategies to consider
#5: What is on your financial vision board? Every step we take toward our financial goals will get us closer to financial independence. In 2023, you will have many opportunities to gain financial freedom and build wealth. Strategies to consider
MC's Journey: Progress update Q3 2022 These past months have gone by very quickly. I feel fortunate to be where I am in my life at the moment, even though I feel tired. Below, I will be reflecting on my goals and the progress I have made.
Final Thoughts As I reflected on my progress toward my goals, I realized that the biggest lesson I learned is to be patient and wait until it is the right time to do certain things. In order to make progress in one area of my life, I have had to accept that other areas will be on hold for a little while. I am learning to be ok with that, not be hard on myself, and celebrate my progress. 2022 has been a great year with lots of hard work, and I am seeing the rewards. Call to Action What are three things that you have enjoyed in the last three months of the year? What are you looking forward to over the next last three months of the year? What type of year would you like 2023 to be?  As I progress in my career, I am learning a leadership skill that does not come naturally to me as someone who likes to be in control. Delegating tasks and responsibilities to people on my team is required for me to succeed professionally this year. At the beginning of the year, I realized I needed to actively work on letting go and trusting that others could get the work done. Over the past six months, I have built a team of six awesome people. Learning to delegate was a prerequisite for succeeding in this new career phase.
In this blog post, I will share the lessons I have learned on my journey and how my mindset has changed concerning delegating at work. Check out my other "Her Career" blog posts for tips and resources to help you thrive professionally. Lesson 1: Realizing that if I can keep working on everything myself without a team, then I am not growing The more we grow and gain leadership responsibility in our careers, the more our scope expands. With that comes the need to have multiple people working on delivering the growing scope. For the longest time, I thought I was showing my value by overworking and not realizing that people saw that as my scope was not large enough. While preparing for a promotion, one of my mentors advised me to think about how much more we could accomplish with a team of awesome people. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 2: Delegating to others helps them develop new skills Teaching and sharing my skills is an area of strength for me. However, I never connected with delegating as a way to teach and pass on knowledge to others. When you delegate tasks to people, you create space for them to acquire and practice new skills. I have also learned that there is a way to delegate correctly by offering coaching and support for your team members as they take on new tasks. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 3: Delegating makes space for me to focus on bigger things Thinking that I had to do everything myself kept my focus on the day-to-day tasks rather than being strategic. I really enjoy thinking about the big picture, being strategic, and planning for the longer term. However, before I started delegating and trusting my team to drive work, I did not have time to do the things I enjoyed. I recently worked on our 2023 plan for one of my programs, which gives me a lot of fulfillment. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 4: To be successful, you need to let people know that you want to work on delegating One practice that helps me when working towards a big goal is building a community of people who will support me on my journey. When I shared my goal to learn to delegate more to my extended team, they were very supportive, and one of them offered to be my accountability partner. People helped me keep my commitment as I worked towards my goal. What results have I seen so far?
Lesson 5: Delegating is a continuous learning journey It is crucial for me to remind myself that the lessons I am learning about delegating are only the beginning. I am open to continuing to learn lessons, changing my mindset, and doing things differently to accomplish the best outcomes for my team. Learning and acquiring new leadership skills is something I enjoy doing, especially when I see the results. What results have I seen so far?
Great Resources  When you ask someone where they are from or call home, you typically have some assumptions about how they might respond. One of the beauties of being an immigrant is that we get to define where our home is, and sometimes we have multiple places that we consider our home. The famous saying "home is where the heart is" has a very different meaning to me after living as an immigrant in multiple countries over 21 years.
In this blog post, I will share the evolution of how I think about home and the five lessons that I have learned on my journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Starting point: What does home mean to me? Over the past 21 years of living in multiple countries and cities, I have had to redefine what home means to me. At the beginning of my time in Germany, I thought Nigeria was home. It was where I had spent my childhood, and most of my family still lived. As the years progressed and I started growing my life in Germany, I began to feel Germany was home. It was where I had spent my young adulthood and started my serious life. Then the US became home once I planted my roots and went on to have our son here. Home is wherever I live, build memories, spend time with people I love, and do things I am destined to do. Answering the question about my heritage and home Although many of my friends also experienced this, especially living in Germany, I cannot believe that people thought it was acceptable to ask people questions about when they are returning home. There is no more effective way to let people know they are not welcome and do not belong than a question like that. Asking someone where they are from already lets them know that you think they are from a different place. I have gotten used to the questions and have educated people on alternative ways to phrase the question. However, the question of when I am going back to where I came from will never be ok. The truth is I am at home here or wherever we choose to live next. Finding and building my home When people talk about home, they associate it with a physical space. Throughout my life, I have lived in almost 20 houses. When I moved to the US was the first time that I had lived in a single place for now over seven years. If I had based my definition of home on the physical space, I would never have felt the sense of home. For me, home is more about the sense of belonging and how I feel in my heart. I have been fortunate to feel at home at various phases of my life, and I also know the feeling of not being able to belong where I am. Accepting that I can have multiple places I call home With my family living in the Bay Area, I call the US home. In addition, I still feel at home every time I visit Germany and Nigeria in different ways. All the countries that I have lived in symbolize a critical aspect of where home is for me. Nigeria gave me a lot of my cultural roots, like food, while Germany allowed me to grow into who I am today, and the US taught me to shine and be my whole self. Each of my home countries has a different meaning to me; they are all my home. Creating my home wherever I am It took me seven years of living in Germany before I started feeling at home. I had first to change my mindset about where I called home. My experiences improved significantly after I accepted Germany as my home. I started growing my network, integrating myself more into the community, and finding things that made my life in Germany fun. When I moved to the US over seven years ago, I quickly adapted to being at home in the US. One of the things that I have learned is a crucial factor in my feeling at home is food. In Germany, I was on a search to find places to get Nigerian food ingredients, and now that I am in the US, I am on a constant search for German bread. It might seem very trivial, but the food is something that helps me recreate my home where I find myself. Five Lessons that I have learned about "home" Over the past 21 years, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons that have helped me find my place and feel at home
Final Thoughts The next time you think about asking someone where they are from or where they call home, remember that they belong wherever they decide to be. In our world today, people move to live in different places and build their home in whatever way they choose to. We can all help people feel a sense of belonging whenever our paths cross.  From time to time, I write posts about topics that I am currently working on, and this is one of them. Recently, I have been thinking about the state of my relationships and friendships over the past years. The people in my life have been companions, advisors, cheerleaders, and supporters on my journey. One of my latest realizations is that I am missing human connections and need to make a change.
In this blog post, we will discuss five strategies to build and maintain healthy relationships with people we love and care about. #1: Think about the relationships that are important to you We all have people who have played a crucial role in our lives. Especially at times when you are yearning for more connection, it helps to think about the people you already have on your side. My circle is very small, and I can tell you the significant role that everyone plays in my life. Most of them have been my friends for a very long time. Questions to consider
#2: Reflect on what is working or not working in your relationships Now that you have a list of the relationships you care about, now is an excellent time to reflect on the strengths and areas of improvement. It can be very easy to take our relationships for granted and not think about what we can do to improve them. Questions to consider
#3: Analyze what is standing in the way of you building the types of relationships you want and need As we get busy or go through life, we can neglect the relationships that matter. One of the lessons that I have learned through my reflection on my relationships is that I am not dedicating enough time to my relationships. Many things have a hold on my time in this phase in my life, sadly leading to me dedicating less time to connect with people around me. Questions to consider
#4: Make a list of changes you want to make Healthy relationships take being intentional and work. We can make some changes to have the best relationships with the people we care about. Questions to consider
#5: Make commitments and take action Now is a great time to invest in your relationships and make the changes you identified. The truth is we will always be busy; it will take us making time for relationships with people that are close to us. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The people around us contribute significantly to our mental and emotional well-being. I realized I do not have a solid social network in the US. Although I've been living here for seven years, most of my close friends and support network are from my time in Germany and Nigeria. The truth is that I don't make time and have become less social. My task over the next weeks is to reconnect with people I care about and plan for more opportunities to meet new people. Call to Action Tell three people in your life how much you appreciate them over the next two weeks.  Talking about finances is one of the topics I am learning to be more comfortable doing. Our finances play a major role in enabling us to live the amazing lives we want. Yet, many of us shy away from talking about our accomplishments and challenges regarding money.
In this post, we will explore the ten things we should all know about our money to thrive financially. Check out my other "Her Finances" posts for more financial tips and resources. #1: Do you have a good relationship with money? Our background and experiences influence our relationship with money in life. Until a few years ago, I never thought that we all have a relationship with money that goes back to our childhood. I took time to reflect on my first lessons about money and how they influenced my view as a grown-up. I now know that fear was one of the feelings that hindered my financial growth. Learning and talking about Resources #2: Are your finances healthy? We can thing about our finances as an area of our lives that can be healthy or unhealthy. If you are living above your means, in debt, and unaware of your financial status, your finances are not whole. It is crucial to overcome your fear and know your financial status. I have learned that ignoring financial challenges makes it worse. Checking in on our finances often will help you set a great foundation to grow your finances. Resources #3: What is on your financial vision board? Dreaming about our financial future inspired us to continue working towards our goals. I was always impressed when I heard people talk about their vision boards and what they wanted to have in life. About three years ago, I built my first vision board that included my financial dreams. For someone like me who likes to have concrete plans, dreaming of the future took a lot of effort to dream of the future. I now enjoy adding things to my financial vision board. Resources #4: Do you know the areas of your finances where you need to do better? Learning from our mistakes and making better financial decisions is a part of adulting. The most crucial part is identifying where we need to make changes to improve our financial status. In my early years living in Germany, I had no funds saved in an emergency fund. One lesson I learned was that saving money needed to be something I did monthly to get the discipline I needed. My latest financial lesson has been about growing my finances by building multiple income sources. Resources #5: What good money habits and actions will help you accomplish your financial goals? Implementing the learnings that we gathered to achieve our financial goals is a necessary step for us to take. This is a good time to take stock of your good practices. I have found that good money habits such as saving, budgeting, and investing have helped me achieve financial independence. Resources #6: Are you learning about how to grow your finances? The first step to achieving financial independence is to set a solid foundation by knowing your status, paying debt, living within your means, and saving. The next step is to explore how you can grow your finances and develop wealth. The strategy that I started learning about a few years ago was investing. I am honestly still learning about how to grow my wealth. Resources #7: Do you plan your expenses and income? Knowing how much you bring in and where your money goes monthly is crucial to building a solid financial foundation. I hear from people that budgeting seems complex and that they don't have one. I recommend starting simple by writing down your income and subtracting your expenses from it. You can then subtract what you would need to pay monthly to get out of debt and also how much you want to save. Once you have done that, you will have a solid budget that you can work from. Resources #8: How are you investing in yourself Over the years, I have learned that I need to be comfortable investing in myself. Part of my money journey has been giving myself the freedom to spend money on myself. As someone who why hyper-focused on saving my money, I needed to identify what I wanted to spend my money on and do it. Resources #9: How are you going to learn about finances? There are so many great experts out there who know a lot about finances. I take every opportunity I get to soak in financial knowledge from people skilled at growing their money. It's great that we have access to books, podcasts, or even the opportunity to work directly with a financial advisor. Resources #10: What are your financial goals? We need to have financial goals to continue to have healthy finances and grow. I set new financial plans at the start of every year. It helps me focus on continuing to be financially independent and build wealth. I look forward to learning a lot as I accomplish my goals. Resources Final Thoughts Writing blog posts about finances reminds me of how far I have come and how much more there is still to be done on this journey. I want everyone around me to thrive financially and get comfortable talking about money. Let's all build wealth together.  Recently, I have been reflecting on who I am and my purpose in life. So many things in life lead to us feeling like we no longer know who we are and what we care about. Over the last two years, many of our lives have changed drastically, and many things are no longer the same. In addition to the things happening in the world, some of us have gone through other changes, such as becoming new parents, gaining professional success, gaining financial independence, or experiencing loss. We have all been through much more changes than we were used to. With the changes could come a sense of feeling like you don't know who you are and have lost your sense of self.
In this blog post, we will explore how to deal with the feeling of losing yourself. How are you feeling? Acknowledging your feelings is very important. We go through life so quickly and are often not in touch with our deepest feelings. Then once we know what we are feeling, it's important not to judge ourselves and accept how we are feeling. Strategies to consider
Who are you now? We are not the same person we were two years ago. Part of feeling that you are lost is not being in touch with who you are. Take the time to rediscover who you are now, what you like, and your dreams and aspirations. Strategies to consider
What are new things that you want to explore? We all change and evolve on our life journeys. Instead of yearning for what excited us in the past, it is time to think about the new things that will bring you joy. Along with discovering your new self, take time to get excited about the future. Strategies to consider
How will you make time for yourself? There are so many people and things that are competing for our attention. It takes much more work to find time for ourselves. I realized that everyone's definition of making time for themselves differs. Strategies to consider
How will you celebrate your awesomeness? The truth is that you are who you were meant to be, and you are awesome. Not celebrating who you are and the journey you have been on makes you feel lost. Permit yourself to be your authentic self. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's journey Over the last two and a half years, I have gone through pregnancy, had a baby, lived through a pandemic, worked hard, accomplished professional success, being a mum and wife. With all the significant life changes and added responsibilities, I have not had much time to focus on myself. Life is good, and I'm making progress. However, I feel like I need to be in touch with my feelings, dreams, and desires more. Before the pandemic, I had a planning day once every quarter, where I went to the library to prepare for the quarter ahead. It helped me revisit my goals, evaluate my progress, and learn from areas where I was not accomplishing what I planned. The alone time really helped me sit with my thoughts.  2022 has been a very intense year for many people worldwide. The list of things that are going wrong seems quite long. Living in these times has a real impact on our mental health and outlook on our future. I have been more intentional about making sure my mind is healthy and that I am hopeful for the future.
In this blog post, we will explore things we can do to regain hope and stay optimistic. Focus on things that are going well It is very easy to see and think about the things that are going wrong. We need to be more intentional about taking stock of things that are going well. Our minds do not automatically do this, and practice is required to make it easier. Questions to consider
Surround yourself with positive people The people around us play a very important role in helping us have a more positive outlook on life. We all know people who either uplift us or dampen our mood. It is crucial to be mindful of your relationships as they influence your view and emotional wellbeing. Questions to consider
Take charge of your emotional wellbeing Often it feels like we do not have control of our happiness and mental wellbeing. We let people and things happening around us determine how we feel. Over the past years, I have reclaimed control of my happiness. It led me on the journey of discovering what affects or increases my joy. Questions to consider
Make Changes and Take Action It is one thing to know what affects your happiness and another to do something about it. I noticed that watching the news made me anxious and made me feel sad about the world. One concrete action I had to take was to cut out the news from my daily routine. It is crucial to make changes that will help you stay happy. Questions to consider
Add more positive influences to your life With all the negative things going on in our world, it is crucial for us to add more positivity to our lives. We can prioritize creating moments that bring us joy and laughter. This year, we had a great time with our family and are making an effort to enjoy the beautiful things in life. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The other day, I was reflecting on the times we live in and the fact that I cannot remember a time when so many negative things were happening at once. It is definitely an unprecedented time, and we need to do things differently. Take charge of your happiness and enjoy life !!!  On August 9th, 2001, at age 15, I boarded a flight from Lagos, Nigeria, to Frankfurt, Germany. It was the start of my now 21-year journey of living abroad. It feels like such a huge milestone that deserves to be celebrated. My experiences over the past years have shaped who I am and changed the trajectory of my life for the better. In this blog post, I will reflect on the pivotal moments in my life over the past 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. 2001: Starting a new life Moving from Nigeria to Germany was the start of my new life. I was excited and did not know what to expect. I had visited Germany the year before I moved for a few weeks, but everything was still foreign to me. Although I was born in Germany and spoke German in my very early years, I knew nothing about what it meant to live there. And to top it all, I was moving alone without my sister or mum. 2002: Becoming Homeless One of the moments that shocked my system was not having my own accommodation for over six months in Germany. Luckily I was able to sleep on my friend's couch while I saved to be able to afford my place. I was babysitting to make ends meet and needed some time to move eventually. 2003: New beginnings In early 2003, my sister moved to Germany, and we moved out into our own. I started working at my first part-time job in Germany to pay for my sister and me to live our lives. Although we didn't have enough, we were satisfied with our lives. I still remember us spending time in our tiny hostel room. 2004: Getting my footing I felt like after my rocky start; I was finally making progress in my life. The first two years were spent learning German and setting the foundation to study in Germany. I was finally able to start studying for my official first degree. During my studies, I worked part-time. 2005: Living life as much as I could Although things were better for me, I felt stuck. I was working part-time jobs to pay our bills and had my own small apartment, but I was not progressing in the course I was studying. I was trying everything I could to make it all work. 2006: Going back home I returned to Nigeria for the first time in five years since I moved to Germany. In addition, I got to spend the summer in the UK. This led me to reevaluate where I was in life, and I decided to make a scary move. I moved from Saarbrucken, where I had lived for almost five years, to Trier. Although it was only an hour away, I left my social network behind and had to start afresh. 2007: Restarting my life Moving to Trier was the 2nd time I had a fresh start in Germany. I remember sitting in my new apartment and crying. This was the loneliest I had ever felt in my life. I felt very frustrated that I had not achieved the goals that I had set even after six years in Germany. My determination to do everything I could to make progress, especially in my studies, was stronger than ever. 2008: Feeling a sense of normalcy and then not After all the setbacks I had experienced, I finally felt I was making progress, but then I hit another bump in the road. I failed a class that made me have to change the course I was studying for the third time. With the learnings I gathered from the other pivots I made in my life, I could make a quick change and continue studying. 2009: Running to the finish line Although I had to change my course again, this time was different; I could finally see the finish line. I had gathered enough class credits through the years and only needed a few classes to complete my degree. I am very grateful to the people who gave me the chance to complete an internship at a bank and an airline. My time there solidified my career path as a project and program manager. And to add a cherry on the top, I started a long-distance relationship with my husband. 2010: Graduating from university and earning my first degree After nine years of being in Germany and seven years of studying, I finally graduated with a Bachelors degree in Business Information systems. It was a huge milestone and an achievement that I worked very hard for. After I graduated, I started my first full-time job as a project manager in a mobile agency. 2011: Experiencing my first medical challenge and becoming an aunt For all my adolescent and young adult life, I experienced extreme pain during my menstrual cycles. And about 15 years later, I had to be operated on to remove multiple large fibroids. Even 11 years later, I still remember the horror on my doctor's face when she did the scans and immediately referred me to the University hospital for the operation within a week. Interestingly, one of the happiest moments in my life also happened at the time. My twin sister gave birth to my niece 11 days after my operation. In addition, my relationship was going strong, and I got to visit my now husband in the US for the first time. 2012: Planting the seed for my career growth I decided to start my Masters while I worked full-time because I knew it would help me progress in my career. I was not in the financial place to pay full for my course, and I remember calling a friend to lend a part of my first tuition payment. I saved up for my upcoming payments and was able to pay my fees in full from then on. I really prioritized studying while I worked full time and made a lot of great progress. 2013: Finishing my masters degree The sense of fulfillment I had when I completed my 2nd degree in record time cannot be described in words. Especially with the difficulty I faced with my first degree, it was huge to be able to get my new degree while I worked full-time successfully. I had accomplished another professional goal that I set for myself. 2014: Enjoying life and planning a new start I got to go on vacation with my now husband; we spent time in Florida and on a cruise to the Bahamas. This was my first real vacation that was not centered around visiting family. I remember going back to Germany and feeling like the time had come for me to embark on my next huge adventure and move to another country. 2015: Moving to the US I jumped on the opportunity to relocate to the US with the company I was working for then. This was one of the scariest moves I made and one that totally changed my life's trajectory for the best. I moved to the US in February 2015 and started my new life. Leaving Germany was harder than I thought after 14 years. 2016: Finding my footing in the US Settling into my new home went very well. Having my husband, who had already mastered living in the US as an immigrant many years before me, made things easier for me. I focused on growing my career by investing in learning with classes at UC Berkeley and working with a career coach. It was clear to me that I had to learn other skills to thrive professionally in the US. 2017: Living my best life After two years of living in the US, I was enjoying life both personally and professionally. I had the opportunity to take on a significant task at work that changed my career trajectory. Leading a Program Management Office (PMO) exposed me to people I typically would not have gotten to work with, and it also helped me develop new skills. 2018: Returning to Nigeria and Germany I got to go back to Nigeria after 12 years after my last visit in 2006. We got to see family in Nigeria for a wedding and then go back to Germany for another. Going back to visit my two home countries helped me see how far I had come since I left them. Spending time with family after so many years was so much fun. I knew it was time for me to transition from my job to a new job and intensified my search. One of the challenges I had to navigate as an Immigrant working in the US was the dependency on my work visa. Things came together, and I started a new job at a great company. 2019: Trying to balance my success With great success in my personal and professional life, I struggled with health issues while trying to find my place at a new company. One thing I had learned from the 18 years of living abroad was that I had to be in a place where my contribution was valued, and I could grow. Barely six months into being at this new company, I started looking for a new role. About another five months later, I found a position that aligned with my life's mission, and things started falling into place. 2020: Becoming a mother Interestingly, 2020 was one of the most chaotic years in many of our lives. I found out I was pregnant in early March when the world started falling apart with the global pandemic. In October, our son was born, and my life changed forever. My journey to motherhood was smoother than I expected. I thought it would be more complicated due to the health challenges I had experienced nine years earlier. I am more than thankful for the opportunity to raise our son. 2021: Integrating motherhood and my career When I got back from my maternity leave in February 2021, I was on fire. My desire to be a great mom and have a successful career was strong. I was doing a job that I enjoyed and was determined to continue growing. I had to learn how to integrate being a mother and thriving professionally. There were many ups and downs on the way. Thankfully the ups outweighed the downs. 2022: Living my best life In my 21st year of living abroad, I am at a place where everything has come together nicely in my personal and professional life. There are still lessons that I learn and situations that I do not expect. However, I know that this is where I am destined to be. I have a great family, an amazing job, a sense of purpose, and amazing people around me. Final Thoughts Reflecting on my journey over the 21 years makes me very proud and appreciative of how far I have come. There have been many complex challenges that I faced and so many great moments that I have experienced. I am very excited to see what other countries I get to live in and where I will be in another 21 years. Pictures speak louder than words - 21 years of my life   To be successful in our careers, we need to be intentional about the steps we take toward our growth and development. When I think about one thing that has helped me build a successful career, it is that I have leveraged my strengths professionally. We are good at things and do not leverage them enough at work.
In this blog post, I will share how to leverage your strengths professionally and grow your career. Check out my other "Her Career" blog for more tips and resources. MC's Journey Right from when I was a child, people talked about how I talked too much, asked too many questions, and was bossy. Little did they know those traits would make me a great program manager over 30 years later. At various points on my journey, I have had to remind myself of my strengths and ensure I am leveraging them. Some of the ways that I leverage my top 5 strengths include:
How to apply your strengths at work Discover your strengths Knowing what you are good at is the first step toward leveraging your strengths. If you had asked me about ten years ago what my strengths were, I would not have been able to articulate them clearly. I started working with a career coach when I moved to the US over seven years ago; one of the first things she asked me to do was to spend time thinking about my strengths. I knew I was very good at certain things but could not articulate them clearly. Especially at work, it is crucial to know what your strengths are. Strategies to consider
Seek out opportunities to put your unique strengths to use You shine when you are using your strengths. As you choose the projects and initiatives that you want to work on, seek out ones where you can apply your strengths. Becoming a project manager, I knew that I would excel because I like to plan things and am organized. As I have progressed in my career, I have applied other strengths, such as working with global teams. Given my background living in different countries, I have learned how to navigate connecting with people from diverse backgrounds. This greatly influenced my decision to work as a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion program manager. Strategies to consider
Talk about your strengths One way to let people know what you are good at is by celebrating your achievements. There is so much power in telling your story and highlighting the strengths that helped you accomplish your goals. I had to learn how to talk about my strengths. It was hard to speak up when I knew I was good at something that would help our team succeed. Observing others speak about their strengths helped me develop that skill and improve. I leverage avenues such as performance evaluations and work presentations to showcase my strengths. Strategies to consider
Teach others the skills you have I have learned that one way to amplify my strengths is to share my knowledge with others. Although I am a passionate learner, I did not know the value of teaching others. I discovered that when I teach others, they benefit a lot, and my strengths increase. Initially, I offered to teach people things I excel at, and now they come to me to seek my expertise. Strategies to consider
Continue to grow your strengths Part of a growth mindset is believing you can always get better even at things you do very well. Recently, I have been leading a program that has multiple phases. One of the things I noticed was that I was looking for ways to do things smartly and be more effective with every new launch. I am very intentional about learning new ways to leverage and grow my strengths. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts It feels great to know that we can apply our strengths and grow professionally. I really like to see all my team members showcasing their strengths. You have something unique to contribute to your professional community. Time for Reflection What are your top three strengths? How have you been leveraging your strengths at work so far? How would you like to leverage your strengths more at work?  With six months of this year behind us, it is a great time to reflect. Reflecting on my experiences this year, I was amazed at how much I have to be grateful. I had to be intentional about celebrating the highlights because focusing on the hardships and lowlights is very easy. Gratitude is a practice that helps me adjust my perspective. Research also shows that reflecting on what you are grateful for makes you a happy human.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for. Check out my post "Are you thinking about the good things in your life?" for ten questions you can ask yourself as you reflect on the great things happening in your life. #1: Watching our son grow In the almost two years that our son has been a part of our lives, he has grown and developed beautifully. I am grateful every day that I watch him grow and learn new things. The way he smiles at me is something that I can not explain in words. #2: Being able to spend time with family This past June, we spent time with our family for the first time in four years. It was very special because our son got to meet his aunties and uncles. I am very thankful for all the laughter and memories we created together. #3: Accomplishing key career milestones For many years I have been setting a foundation for a successful career. It all started coming together this year. I have had many great career successes this year that have made me very proud. #4: Being physically healthy Over the last years, I have struggled with gastritis, which typically flairs up when I am stressed. Being sick in my gut took out the joy of eating and caused a lot of getting used. I'm very thankful that this year has been better for me physically, and I have not suffered as much. #5: Being mentally healthy This year, I have been swamped and felt the weight of all my responsibilities. One of the practices that have helped me is to check in on my mental health regularly and do things that de-stress me and bring me joy. I can confidently say that my mental health is good. #6: Being physically safe There have been a lot of things that have happened to people in places where I live or have lived in the past. I am very grateful that my family and I are safe. Physical safety is one of our basic needs, and it is sadly not available to everyone. #7: Learning new skills One of the things that bring me joy is learning a new skill. With the pandemic and having a baby, I had not been able to invest the time in learning since 2020. Sitting in a class and learning made me very happy. I'm very grateful to add new skills to my portfolio. #8: Having a passion project Fulfilling my purpose is something that is a priority in my life. I feel balanced when I get to do things that I am passionate about. In this phase of my life, I am doing what I can to support the women around me. My weekly blog is one of the components of my passion project. I am grateful to have a way to contribute to my community positively. #9: Being happy and content Compared to the other phases of my life so far, I am happier now. In addition to things in my life mainly going well, I have learned to guide my happiness. I am happy with the progress I am making toward my goals and very grateful for the life I have. #10: Feeling excited about the future Sometimes we let the fear of the unknown take over. When I think about my future, I am very excited. Thinking about my goals, creating plans, and taking action toward building the life I want to live makes me happy. I am grateful that I am in a place where I can lay the building blocks for the life that I desire. Final Thoughts It is very easy to remember things that have not gone well in our lives. Reflecting on the highlights and documenting them gives you a place you can always go back to when you need a reminder. We all have a lot to be grateful for. Call to Action What are three things that you are grateful for? How will you remind yourself of the good things in your life?  On our life journey, we need to unlearn things to make way for us to learn other things and live our best lives. Some beliefs,
mindsets, and behaviors we learned in our formative years no longer serve us well and need to be unlearned. Holding on to them can hinder your growth and the quality of life. In this blog post, I will share the ten things I had to unlearn to thrive and be happy. #1: Thinking a "suffering" mother is a good mother Over the past two years, as I have discovered who I am as a mother, I have become more aware of the picture of motherhood I grew up with. The expectation of a mother was that she would do everything to meet everyone's needs. However, I could not meet my imagined standards in my current phase. My life is very different; I live far away from my family, so I don't have my village to support me. I had to let go of the vision of a perfect mother and be the best mother I could be to our son, even if it looked different. Strategies to consider
#2: Focusing on my weaknesses vs. strengths There is that thought that you have to keep working on getting rid of your weaknesses. We were taught to believe we were not good enough and needed to keep aspiring to improve. I remember growing up hearing all the things people thought I did not do well and asking me to work on them. There were hardly any conversations about what I did well. About seven years ago, when I moved to the US, there was a shift in my thinking. I started celebrating my strengths and creating opportunities to leverage them. Strategies to consider
#3: Doubting my intuition and thinking others know more than me From my upbringing, I observed people seeking advice, validation, and expertise from others. I firmly believe that we have intuition to guide our decisions. Unlearning having to go to others before I made decisions helped me make decisions that were more aligned with my values and the direction I want my life to go in. Strategies to consider
#4: Thinking that learning ends Growing up, when learning was discussed, it was mostly striving to get a degree and then be done with it. The concept of continuous learning was a little foreign. I always yearned to learn new skills even after getting my degrees. I had to unlearn the thinking that there is an end to learning. Being a lifelong learner has really set me up for success. Strategies to consider
#5: Doubting that I can build wealth Conversations around finances were tense when I was growing up. We always worried about money and could not make ends meet. For the longest time, I believed that being financially independent was out of my reach. I had to change my relationship with money and learn ways to improve my financial status. Strategies to consider
#6: Asking for what I want or deserve It takes a lot of time to discover yourself and know what you want. Then it takes a lot of courage to ask for what you want and deserve. I thought you were annoying if you had expectations and voiced them. Especially in a professional setting, I kept seeing people get things they asked for while I wasn't. Negotiating for my salary or benefits at work was something I did not know how to do, and I felt resentment when what was offered was less than what I wanted. I quickly had to unlearn being uncomfortable asking for what I wanted and learn great negotiation skills. Strategies to consider
#7: Refusing to ask for help I grew up thinking that needing help was a sign of weakness. It took me a very long time to reframe my thinking and learn that I needed to ask for help. My turning point was going through months of feeling overwhelmed and not seeing a way out. I now know that people around me are ready to jump in and support me when I ask for help. Strategies to consider
#8: Being hesitant to share my feelings and struggles with people Growing up in a culture where we were taught only to say good things and that bad things happen because we confessed them influenced me heavily. I did everything possible to hide the pain and discomfort I was feeling, even from people close to me, because I thought that was the right thing to do. Keeping all the emotions bottled up was not good for my mental and physical health. Being able to have honest conversations and be vulnerable with my community has helped me tremendously. Strategies to consider
#9: Not talking about my accomplishments When I was growing up, you were perceived as proud if you spoke about your accomplishments. In Nigeria, people thought you should wait for others to talk about you, and in Germany, it was that your work would speak for itself. While that way of thinking works in places where people know you or you have a reputation, it does not work in new environments where no one knows you, and you have to win over their trust very quickly. That was exactly my experience when I moved to the US and had a very short time establishing myself and my brand. I had to unlearn all my thinking about talking about my accomplishments and find a way that felt natural to me. Strategies to consider
#10: Avoiding planning the future Shortsighted living makes you miss many opportunities. It was not common to see people who shared their dreams, aspirations, and goals. It seemed like people were afraid of the future and decided not to focus on it. I had the learn to plan for the future and be flexible to make changes as life takes its course. I am hopeful and no longer afraid when I think of the future. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts It is awesome that we have the ability to unlearn and learn new things in all phases of our lives. I am certain that my list of things that I am unlearning will grow and change as I progress on my journey. Call to Action What are three things that you have unlearned? What are three things that you want to unlearn?  In the 21 years that I have lived abroad, I had a mix of experiences. Some of them were good while others were not so cool. However, overall my journey has been amazing. There are many moments that I am proud of and still amazed at how my life has tuned out. I never imagined that I would be where I am today.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that I am proud of accomplishing in 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Becoming independent At the young age of 15, I moved from Nigeria to Germany. It was the official start of me having to fend for myself and make critical decisions. I felt so grown-up back then, and now when I think back, I realize how young I really was. Being so young and figuring out my life is something that makes me very proud. #2: Paying for my way through school I will forever be grateful to all the families that allowed me to care for their children. The money I made from babysitting, working in cafes, and on-campus helped pay for my life as a student. I know it's a big deal that I was able to support myself and my sister financially. #3: Earning my first and second degree If you had followed my story, you would know that it took me longer than expected to get my first degree. I changed my under-grad course twice, and it took me about seven years to finally get my Bachelors degree. That did not stop me from going ahead to start my Masters. I decided to study part-time while I worked my full-time job. Finishing my Masters degree in the planned time is something I am very proud of. #4: Getting my German passport One of the most complex parts of being an immigrant is securing a visa or legal stay approval. For ten years of living in Germany, I was on a visa that granted me a short time stay of six months. This was a very stressful process, and I felt really relieved when I was finally eligible to apply for a German passport. The truth is that traveling and living in other countries became much more accessible than when I only had a Nigerian passport. #5: Building my family and home My family is one of my biggest accomplishments in life. I have people that I love and get to spend my life with. In addition, finding a place where I really feel at home was not always easy. I am proud of the fact that I have been able to have my family, find my place, and be settled now. #6: Being able to give back I feel very fortunate to be able to meet my own needs and support people around me. Years ago, I was struggling to afford my basic needs. Being financially stable was the first step, and then I was able to start building wealth that helped me afford to invest in my loved ones' lives as well. #7: Following my passions In the early days of my journey, I focused more on surviving and didn't have much time to invest in my passion projects. The truth is that I didn't know what I was passionate about. In recent years, I have been able to spend more time doing things that I really enjoy. My blog is one of the things that I have always wanted to do, and I have finally gotten to do it. #8: Having a successful career I started as a babysitter and worked many minimum wage jobs to pay my way through college. After graduating, I started building my career as a project manager from scratch. I did not have the access or network that some of my peers did. It took a lot of hard work to achieve the professional success that I have experienced so far. #9: Finding happiness in life On my journey living abroad, I have experienced a lot of ups and downs. It took me a long time to get to a place where I was genuinely happy. I am now at a place in my life where I feel satisfied and excited for the future. #10: Staying true to who I am As an immigrant, your identity is a complex topic to navigate. I have lived in many countries and have been influenced by many life experiences. I now know who I am and am confident in what I can offer the world. Final Thoughts Reflecting on the past 21 years, I am very grateful for how far I have come. Although the first years were very rocky, I am where I was destined to be. All my experiences made me who I am today.  We made it through the first six months of 2022. I say this in every goal check-in; it seems like the time is going by very quickly. We have had a mix of great and not-so-great experiences. There is so much that happens in our lives in only six months.
In this blog post, we will check in on our progress towards our goals in the first half-year, and I will share an update on my top goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life. Step 1: Reflect on H1 2022 This is a great point to reflect on the last six months. Remind yourself of your goals for the year and the actions you took towards accomplishing them. I have learned the importance of reflecting on the progress I am making multiple times during the year versus only once a year. Resource: Check out "10 questions to reflect on your year" for some tips Questions to consider
Step 2: Celebrate your Accomplishments One of the critical activities that we neglect is reflecting on the good that has happened in our lives. There is a lot to be learned from the goals that you have accomplished. Make the time to evaluate the progress you have made towards the goals you set. Resource: Check out "How to start celebrating your accomplishments" for some tips Questions to consider
Step 3: Reflect on Lowlights and lessons learned I am sure you can easily list the things that did not go as planned this year. As you reflect on those things, it is critical to think about the lessons you learned from the experiences. Some of the most valuable lessons that we learn come because we are intentional about reflecting on things that did not work out with the intent of improving ourselves Resource: Check out "How to develop a Growth Mindset" for some tips Questions to consider
Step 4: Refresh your plan for H2 2022 Now that you have reflected on your accomplishments and lessons learned, it is time to start planning for the next six months of the year. Think about the goals that you want to accomplish and the actions you want to take to make 2022 your best year ever. Resource: Check out "How to make the next months count" for some tips Questions to consider
Step 5: Commit to taking action It is great to set goals and have aspirations for the future that you want to live. However, what brings the results you want are the actions that you take. You have the power and ability to work towards your goals - one step at a time. Resource: Check out "How to get things done in a very busy world" for some tips Questions to consider
MC's Journey: Progress update H1 2022 These past six months have been very intense for me. I have been doing a lot in my private and professional life.
Final Thoughts Taking time to reflect on your last six months and plan for the next months is crucial. I am very thankful for all that I have experienced in 2022, and I look forward to the next six months. Call to Action What are three things that you have enjoyed in the last six months? What are you looking forward to over the next six months?  Welcoming a child to the world affected me in ways I did not expect. It has helped me discover what fatherhood means. I did not have the opportunity to grow up with a father, so I am learning everything I have learned about a father-child relationship from watching my husband and our son. There is a lot that is written about a Mother's love and little about the beauty of a Father's love.
Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers and Caregivers taking the responsibility of raising the next generation very seriously !!!! In this blog post, I will share some moments when I learned about a father's love from watching the relationship between my husband and our son. #1: The birth of our son If you speak to any parent that has witnessed the birth of a child, they would probably share the powerful emotions they had during the experience. We had our baby in October 2020 at the height of the Pandemic. My husband could not attend any of the doctor's appointments throughout my pregnancy, so the day of my c-section was the first time he was in that environment. As we prepared to meet our baby, I could see him feel all his emotions at once. When our son was born, his father went into full caring and protection mode. He wanted to ensure our little human was safe and had everything he needed. #2: Our son's ongoing wellbeing When we hear about a child's wellbeing, it is often seen as a mother's responsibility. Growing up, I had mostly seen the moms cater to the physical needs of their children, and it was surprising to me. I have seen my husband be a father who cares deeply about our son's physical and emotional health. From birth, we were advised to give our son a massage multiple times a day, and my husband did them for multiple months without fail. Every single day, my husband cuts up our son's fruit and presses his orange juice. #3: The lessons he teaches our son Seeing my husband impart knowledge to our son and teach him things that I cannot teach him is beautiful. I silently watch their interactions and the pride my husband feels when our son remembers something he taught him. It takes a lot of time investment and love to teach children new skills. #4: Hearing my husband talk about our son The love with which my husband speaks about our son is immense. Sometimes even when we experience the same things, hearing my husband tell the stories fills my heart with renewed joy. He celebrates every milestone and exciting experience. #5: The deep and lasting bond between a Father & Child The moment when I see my husband melt because my son gave him a hug, looked for him, and smiled when he saw him, reminds me of the powerful bond they have. Every single morning, one of the first things our son does is look for his daddy. It warms my heart to see their love. Final Thoughts One lesson that I am learning is that you can experience whole and great relationships by watching others. People often asked me if I missed having a father. The answer is not really because you can't miss what you never had. However, what I can now say is that I have more of an appreciation for great fathers and caregivers.  Recently, I achieved a professional goal that I have been working towards for many years – I became a people manager again. I was a people manager in my last company and wanted to go back to managing a team. This huge accomplishment came with many mixed emotions for me. The first emotion I felt was excitement that my professional dream had come true, and then the feelings of self-doubt started to creep in.
In this blog post, I will share the five tips that are helping me navigate and enjoy this phase of my professional life. I am writing this post as a reminder for myself and valuable tips for anyone out there who is working through similar experiences. #1: Celebrate your accomplishments When my manager sent the email to my team announcing that I was becoming a Manager, I had a smile on my face and was very happy. My journey to get here was a multi-year process that was not smooth or straightforward. I knew that I needed to celebrate this significant milestone. However, it felt easier to keep moving as if everything was normal. The good thing was that I got to spend some time with my family, and they celebrated my accomplishment with me. Why is this important?
#2: Accept the trust that people have in your abilities Self-doubt makes you think you don't deserve to be where you are or accomplish something big. It helps to get extra confirmation from people you trust. In my case, the people telling me that I will be great in my new role have worked with me for years and know my work. I have decided to listen to them and believe their kind words. It is very easy to brush off the positive things that people say about you because we think they don't mean it as a way to diminish our contributions. Why is this important?
#3: Acknowledge your emotions Over the past weeks, I have had multiple emotions – happiness, overwhelm, excitement, and more. Right now, the emotions I feel are mostly a sense of responsibility because I want to do right by my team. I want to be the best manager that they need to feel valued, respected, and that they can thrive professionally. Over my journey, I have learned that it is important to acknowledge when I am feeling self-doubt and causing myself not to enjoy a key milestone. Why is this important?
#4: Set your goals and gain clarity of where you want to go One of the effects of self-doubt on me is that I get too scared to think about the future. Many people who talk about their imposter syndrome will tell you that it stops them from envisioning a time when they accomplish even bigger things. When something big happens, I worry about the increased responsibilities and my desire to over-achieve. Setting goals helps me plan for the future and get concrete about the steps I will be taking to accomplish them. Why is this important?
#5: Believe in yourself and make bold moves on your journey As much as your mind might be telling you that you don't deserve to be here, the truth is that you have worked very hard to accomplish everything you have. It takes a lot of self-talk and continuous personal work to guard against self-doubt. You need to keep making bold moves and not let self-doubt stop you from accomplishing great things. Why is this important?
Final Thoughts If you feel overwhelmed by the great things happening in your life, you are not alone, and it is perfectly fine. Although I am very excited about my journey ahead, I am still actively walking through self-doubt. I'll keep you all posted on my progress in this new phase of my journey.  After everything we have been through over the last years, I wanted to share an experience that renewed my energy and gave me hope for the future. I got to spend time with some of our family members. Writing these words fills my heart with immense joy. The last time we saw our family, we thought we would get to meet them again in about a year. One of the lessons that I learned during the pandemic was to seize any opportunity to spend time with people that we love. Our trip was very spontaneous. I was running up on the maximum vacation time that I could accrue before I started losing vacation days, and my husband was also able to take time off. So we took the plunge and embarked on a three-week family trip. This was the first time we had seen our family members in the UK in four years. We had planned a family reunion in June 2020, which we canceled due to the pandemic. It was heartbreaking to miss time with our family. In May 2022, we get to enjoy some amazing family time. In this blog post, I will share five things that I was reminded of on this trip. #1: Family is precious As a result of living in different countries, I have been physically away from my family. I have not lived in the same location as my mother for 21 years and from my twin sister for over 16 years. We have had the opportunity to see each other for a very limited time during that time. We have mostly stayed connected virtually. However, holding my new nephew, hugging my niece, and connecting with our extended family was a priceless experience. #2: Don't compromise on things that are important to you In the past, when I had been on vacation, I compromised on things that were important to me. I was trying to save money and adjust to other people's needs or did not even know what was important to me. This trip was different; I knew that I really cared about comfortable places to stay, great food, and taking my time to enjoy the experience. I took my time and planned the things that were important to me and did them. Our trip was much more fun because my basic desires were met. #3: Don't let fear stop you This trip was the first flight with our 19-month-old son, and we decided to embark on a 10-hour flight from San Francisco to London. Those of you who have kids know the feelings that arise when you think of a long flight with a toddler. I had played all the horror scenarios in my mind of things that could go wrong on our flight. I am very fortunate to have such an amazing husband and a toddler who adapted very quickly to the new circumstances. I am glad that I did not let fear rule me. #4: Enjoy the moments I have always tried to capture beautiful moments and memories. There were so many beautiful moments on this trip that I wished I was recording all the time so I did not miss anything. All the laughter, our son playing with his cousins, and the beautiful sights and new places I visited are memories I will never forget. I made it a priority to enjoy every moment to the fullest. #5: Enjoy the fruit of your labor Over my vacation, I reflected on one of the things that I have struggled with for the past years. Due to my experiences with financial difficulty growing up, it is hard for me to spend money on things that I want. I have been hyper-focused on building a solid financial foundation and spending on my needs. The thought of splurging on things because they improve my experience makes me uncomfortable. One of my colleagues shared that she tells herself that she can do nice things for herself because she works hard. That simple thought made me open to doing things for myself, even if they cost me more than normal. It was worth it, and I am glad that I chose to invest in my well-being. Final Thoughts This trip was memorable on many levels. I am very thankful for the privilege we had to travel, spend time with family, and enjoy new experiences. Sometimes it feels like work and all the responsibilities have taken over our lives. It is time for us to prioritize enjoying our lives. Call To Action What is one thing you have wanted to do? When will you take the bold step and do something you want?   Over the past 21 years, I have had the privilege of living in the US and Germany. I have been reflecting on my journey living abroad and thinking about things I do not talk about often. I acknowledge that there are many experiences of immigrants that I will not be covering because not all experiences are the same, yet we have many similarities.
In this blog post, I will share things about my experience and other immigrants that I have come across on my journey. We could talk about this topic for a very long time. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: You will always stand out If you live as an immigrant in another country, you will undoubtedly stand out. It is a massive adjustment to now be noticed, especially for those who have lived in countries where we blended in. The status of an immigrant follows you everywhere you go. I have learned to accept that as part of my life experience. #2: You always think about your differences As immigrants, we have many differences from the majority of the people in the countries we live in. The differences range from race, ethnicity, language, social-economic, religion, background, and many others. We are very aware of our differences every single day. #3: You live with the thought of being denied a visa/stay and having to go back to your home countries Part of most immigrant journeys starts with a temporary visa or approval to stay for a limited time. With that comes the knowledge that your stay could be revoked, and you may be asked to return to your home country. In fact, even after you get a passport from your new home country, the thought stays in the back of your mind. #4: You don't have access to a lot of things When I went to university in Germany, the access differences from my German counterparts were very noticeable. I always wished I had the knowledge, networks, financial support, and access that other students had. We make it work, but the path there is more challenging. #5: You do not know some systematic structures and processes I still think back to when I arrived in the US and faced challenges getting a credit card because I did not have credit. This was totally new to me as Germany does not have the same financial structures. I have a very long list of things I wish I had known early. Even after living abroad for over 21 years, there are still some things that I don't know and learn. #6: Finding a place to get your hair done might be a challenge Immigrants who have a different hair texture from the predominant group in the country they now live in will understand this. My friends did my hair for many years because I could not find a place to get my hair braided when I moved to Germany. This contributed to me deciding to cut my hair low because it helped me. #7: You will miss food and other things you enjoy This was actually the first thing that came to my mind. My immigrant experience would not be complete without me talking about food. It is one of the things that connects me with my culture. 21 years ago, when I started my journey as an immigrant, food from different countries was not as readily accessible. Interestingly, till today, there are some foods that I have not eaten since I left Nigeria. #8: You may face discrimination This post would not be complete if I didn't mention the fact that many immigrants face discrimination for their race, ethnicity, language, social-economic, religion, background, and other differences. A lot of immigrants do not share their negative experiences. My hope is that people will have more inclusive experiences. #9: People often underestimate your abilities The status of an immigrant and someone who is different sometimes makes people think that you are unable to achieve big goals. Every time I hear about immigrants that have paved their way and are doing great things, I am very proud. I have had the opportunity to work with people from different backgrounds who are amazing at what they do. #10: Your view of the world is multifaceted One of the things I appreciate the most about being an immigrant is that my perfective has been enriched by every country I live in and all my experiences. There is something special about learning new cultures or languages and building a new life from scratch in a new country. Final Thoughts Our world is more multi-cultural now than at any other time in history, and it's a beautiful thing. Seeing fellow immigrants makes me appreciate my journey even more. A lot of people experience good and bad things daily. Please contribute to making the world a place where everyone, irrespective of their background. To all the immigrants out there, keep being great!  May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a reminder for us to prioritize our Mental Health. I have been reflecting on my thoughts about mental health at this stage in my life and the lessons that I learned on my journey.
In this blog post, I will share five things that I know about mental health that would have saved me some painful experiences if I had learned them in my childhood. #1: Check-in on your mental health often Interestingly, it is very easy to go through life and forget to check in on how you are doing mentally. It took me a while to realize that I was not aware of the state of my mental health. Sadly, I got to a place where I was really struggling before I started making changes. Knowing that I have a lot going on in my life, I am now very intentional about making sure my mental health is good. When I start feeling the impact of neglecting myself, I take action to get back into alignment. What am I doing differently now?
#2: You need to unlearn a lot you learned about mental health We all learned what we know about mental health from society, family, and friends. Some of the lessons serve us well, and others do not. It is our responsibility to unlearn some of those lessons and learn ways to care for our mental health. One of the things that I had to let go of was that it was a sign of strength to hide your feelings. By observing the people and hearing conversations around me, I learned to suppress emotions that led to me feeling a lot of internal stress and negatively impacted my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
#3: Do not let the stigma around Mental health stop you from getting help There is still a lot of stigma around getting additional support when you need it. The way people talk about therapy and other mental health resources that can help your mental health can sometimes be discouraging. It is crucial to acknowledge when you need help and get the help you need. This is something that will help you live a great life and thrive. What am I doing differently now?
#4: You need a community of people who care about mental health Surrounding yourself with people who are aware and intentional about maintaining their mental health will make a huge difference. They help you see that you are not alone with whatever struggles you have, and we can all be there for each other through the good and bad days. Having honest conversations about how I'm doing mentally has really made a difference in my life. When I have check-ins with my support community, it helps remind me that things will always get better. What am I doing differently now?
#5: Show yourself some compassion and grace Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, which makes things worse for our emotional well-being. In situations where I spent time judging myself for feeling a certain way, it did not help me at all. It was easier for me to understand other people struggling with their mental health and give them grace, but I struggled to do the same for myself. When I feel down, I need to stop judging myself for how I feel. Being kind to myself relieves my stress and improves my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
Final Thoughts Talking about our mental health needs to become a regular aspect of our lives. We share other physical health practices such as exercise or a healthy diet; imagine a world where people feel more comfortable sharing their mental health and getting help when needed. Call to Action How are you maintaining your mental health? Prioritize your mental health What have you learned about mental health that you want to unlearn? Unlearn things that do not serve you  This past weekend while I was trying to put my 19-month-old son to sleep unsuccessfully, I started thinking about how easy it was to get upset and be in a bad mood. I was looking down on him and decided to focus on the good things that were happening in my life. A lot is going on in our lives that can make us feel frustrated if we focus on them. If you feel the weight of life on your shoulders, you are not alone. One thing we can control is our mindset. Sometimes, we need to actively remind ourselves of the good that is happening in our lives.
In this blog post, we will ask ourselves ten questions that will help us adjust our perspective and focus on the positive things in our lives. #1: What was the last thing that made you smile? Think back on the happy feelings you feel when someone does something nice for you or has a great experience. As I write this post, I am smiling at the things in my life that have made me happy recently. One realization that I had is that with a child, many cute moments make us smile. #2: What was a recent compliment someone gave you? Although I believe that we should not base our happiness on what others say to us, I do value the external perspective that people can give you by recognizing a great thing that you have done. #3: How have the people in your life contributed positively to you? The people that we surround ourselves with play a vital role. I feel very blessed to have great people in my life who have added significant value. My family and friends are a crucial part of my journey, and they make me feel supported. The amazing people in my life are a gift in many ways. I am grateful that I have great people who are my life companions. #4: What was one recent accomplishment at work? We spend a lot of time working towards our professional goals. It is time to celebrate all we have accomplished at work this year. We often let our professional accomplishments go unnoticed. #5: What was the latest new memory you created? We live in a time where we get to capture moments in pictures, videos, or other digital ways. Look back on your recent pictures and re-live the beautiful moments you have had. #6: What was the last very delicious meal you ate? Food is one of the highlights of my life. It might just be me, but it makes me happy when I think of good things that I have gotten to eat. #7: What was the last fun activity that you did? Doing something you really enjoy is a great way to evoke happy feelings. Think about a great time you had recently. #8: What new thing have you learned lately? Growing and learning new skills are necessary to live the amazing lives we desire. I am always excited when I acquire a new skill or a life lesson. Adding knowledge to my toolkit helps me prepare for the future. #9: What was the last thing you did to celebrate yourself? It is very easy to remember to celebrate with others and forget about yourself. I have always admired people who made it a point to celebrate all of their milestones. It could be a birthday, promotion, anniversary, or other pivotal moments in your life. Think about how you felt when you celebrated yourself. #10: When was the last time you were your authentic self? Being our authentic selves makes us happy and feel fulfilled. Celebrate the moments when you were true to yourself. You are who you were destined to be. Final Thoughts - MC's Story Writing this blog post reminded me of the amazing things that have happened in my life this year. I am very grateful for all the "highlights" and great memories. My life is far from perfect. However, it is filled with many happy moments and memories. The next time that I am feeling down. I will come back to this post and ask myself these questions. |
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