MC's Perspective
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Toolkit
  • Groups
    • Group Insights
    • Group Intake

My Life in Germany - Year 3 to 5

1/5/2018

5 Comments

 
“My journey does not define me, it refines me” – MC
Picture
In my previous post titled My Life in Germany: Year 1 and 2, I kicked off the series on my relocation journey in Germany. Bringing you another chapter of my relocation journey, let's move to my year 3 to 5 in Germany. The theme of this phase was - "Feeling stuck and not seeing progress."
When I left Nigeria, I expected life to be very different in 5 years of being in Germany. The first five years were very different from my dreams. In this blog post, I will share my experience from my third, fourth and fifth year in Germany.
 
Living in different cities
I lived in four cities in my first five years in Germany. As if moving to a new country was not challenging enough, I decided to move to different cities. Looking back, I am shocked and now understand why I felt very unsettled.
 
My twin is here
In 2003, my twin sister moved to Germany. I had my life companion with me again. The journey was still very hard, but I had someone on this journey with me. The comfort of having my twin close by lasted three years until my journey led me to move to a different city.
 
Building my community
I was now able to "somehow" communicate in German, and I moved to a Saarbrucken a slightly bigger city. I started meeting people from different cultures at my University and in town. I made great friends that supported me in many ways on my journey.
 
Financial Responsibility
I worked multiple jobs to support my sister and myself. It always felt like we had just enough. I learned a lot of valuable lessons from working in cafés, restaurants, libraries, and babysitting.  I became an expert in managing our finances and stretching our Euros.
 
Academic challenges
Before I left Nigeria If you asked me where I saw myself in 5 years, one thing I was sure of was that I would have my university degree. My primary purpose for moving to Germany was to study and get my degree. Year after year, I did not see the success I expected to have. I was not making any progress with the course I was studying. Some reasons were that I was working a lot and the course was not right for me. I was so spoiled by being successful that now failure was new to me. My instinct and everything I had learned taught me to work harder when something does not work out. Hard work still didn’t get me the success I wanted. A huge lesson I learned here was that sometimes you need a make a significant change to make progress. It was time for me to change my course, leave my university and move to a different city.
 
Time to reassess
I was stuck; something needed to change. I needed to step away for a little while and plan my next move. I spent six weeks of summer 2006 in northern England and London. I was working as a babysitter, exploring England and visiting family friends. This was one of the major milestones on my journey.  Stepping away gave me clarity on what my next step needed to be - I applied to universities in Trier and was accepted.
 
Making a big decision
The scariest decision I made was to move to Trier and start a new course. I was leaving my twin, my friends, the life I had built behind. I had a sliver of hope that this change will be good for me. At many points of my journey, my will to keep trying kept me going.
 
"I choose me."
Sometimes in life, you have to decide to "pick you." Forget everyone around you and choose what is right for you. Be prepared to live with the consequences. In 2006, I had to choose me and stick to doing something "selfish." Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I made. It was hard for someone who cared about family and friends’ feelings and opinions. I had to put my needs first and hope for everything around me to fall into place - and they did.
 
2006 FIFA World Cup
A highlight for me was seeing Germany host the world for the world cup. I experienced Germany differently- open to guest. The motto “ Eine Zeit, um Freunde Zu finden” (A time to make friends) was a reality for four weeks. There was something in the air; everyone was celebrating football talent from different countries. We had open-air football game viewings in town, on campus, and at restaurants. Interestingly I cheered both the Nigerian and German football team. Supporting both countries will become the norm for me over the years.
 
10 Tips and Lessons
  1. Be bold: Sometimes you have to make massive decisions in your life. Take the step!
  2. Stick with your decision: let me add for a while. I learned you have to try things out for a while before you move on
  3. Be ready to move: You might have tried all you can in one place, it might be time to move somewhere else.
  4. Get professional help: I had access to different counselors, and I did not seek counsel for years. When I finally did, I was able to move on and started making progress.
  5. Be financially responsible: learn to manage your finances.
  6. Be a good friend: I was a great friend and was there for my friends who in turn had my back always.
  7. Make time to step back and reassess: Sometimes we are lost in the now and don't see the big picture.
  8. Evaluate alternative paths to achieve your goal: Especially when you are stuck, allow yourself to think of alternative routes.
  9. Share your struggles:  Talk about your real challenges with your support system. You do not have to go through your journey alone.
  10. Don't give up: You might need to change your approach, but it is important not to give up.
 
Final Thoughts
  • Reflecting on my story reminded me of critical crossroads on my journey - the people, places, lessons, emotions.
  • My story continues with Year 6 - 10 in my next "Her relocation" post.
5 Comments
Pamela Ogar
1/5/2018 11:01:19 am

Your story is a real inspiration to me I have struggled with being stuck and not knowing where to go and sometimes how to go about it. It'll be interesting to hear how you kept yourself motivated through the changes.

Keep it coming.

Reply
Wawī Amasha
1/5/2018 11:36:37 am

Great story MC. Thank you fir sharing and I look forward to continue reading about your journey.

Reply
Rachida
1/5/2018 03:31:04 pm

Loved your post!
In moments where I feel very settled and tamed by my routine, I truly admire our capability to find that drive within us that will take us to new places.
Some people see relocating to a new country/city as a hardship and struggle, I say you make it whatever you want it to be! I've always been blessed to meet with amazing people everywhere I went to.

Reply
Chris
2/5/2018 08:59:54 pm

Brilliant blog MC, your writing style is simple yet striking.
Looking back to when you visited us in 2006, I had no idea you were going through your own journey too.
I am proud to admit that I have learnt one thing (or more) from your splendid writing.

Reply
tao tao
16/5/2018 12:37:44 pm

It's so important to be open to change but as with most things, it's much easier said than done. Your experiences have laid the path for others, giving them permission to be brave, to make those difficult decision and to remain flexible.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    Marie-Christin Anthony
    -Learning and sharing

      GET the monthly newsletter

    Subscribe to Newsletter

    Categories

    All
    Events
    General
    Her Career
    Her Finances
    Her Growth
    Her Plan
    Her Relocation
    Her Story
    Her Toolkit

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018

    RSS Feed

    JOIN THE LIST

Subscribe to Newsletter
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Toolkit
  • Groups
    • Group Insights
    • Group Intake