My Life in Germany – Connecting the dots

On August 9, 2001, I embarked on a journey that will change the course of my life forever. This week, I’m celebrating 17 years on my relocation journey. About four months ago, I started writing about My life in Germany. Reflecting on my story has empowered me and given me a great appreciation for how I got to where I am today. It has been a great learning experience for me. I am very proud of all my achievements, failures, learnings and experiences.
 
In this post, I will summarize my highlights, learnings and share tips for everyone on a similar journey. When I started telling my story, I had three objectives - to remind myself of some of the challenges I overcame, to support other women who are on a similar journey and share tips, learn from one another to succeed on our relocation journey. I am delighted that I have been able to achieve these objectives and much more.
 
What did I learn about myself?
We keep hearing about how reflection provides you with power for the future. I must say, I am now a believer. Three things that I learned about myself during my reflection include:

• My strength and tenacity: The strong determination to make things work brought me far. I celebrate my achievements and value my ability to adapt.
  
• Great connections: There have been many great people on my journey. I am so happy I was able to recreate positive memories.
• My identity: The sum of my experiences made me who I am today. I embrace all of them and would not change a thing.
  

 
Highlights from my Journey
To summarize my story, here are some personal highlights.
Year 1 and 2

• Learning German and being able to communicate unlocked many opportunities for me.
• Meeting new friends and building deep friendships helped me overcome the initial shock of being in a new very different country.

Year 3 - 5

• Being reunited with my Twin.
  
• Moving to Saarbrucken and creating great memories.
  
• Getting to know myself and what I want (a little more).

Year 6 - 10

• Moving to Trier, a charming city, showed me a slightly different side of Germany.
• Graduating from University was one significant milestone on my long journey.
  
• Starting my project management career set the tone for great professional years ahead.
• Becoming an aunt, gave me a different outlook on life.
  

Year 11 - 14

• Making Cologne my new home and settling in was a pivotal phase for me. Of all the towns I lived in, Cologne was my favorite.
• Completing my Master’s degree was a great achievement after my academic struggles.
• Achieving my professional goals and setting a solid foundation for my career success.

 If you missed the previous "My Life in Germany" posts please read here.

10 things I wish someone told me before I moved to Germany

1. Get used to paperwork and bureaucracy - be very organized and keep all relevant documents.
2. People will ask you many questions about your origin - get comfortable and don't be offended.
3. It will take a very long time to feel at home - It took me 10 years.
4. You will be alone and sometimes lonely - but it'll get better.
5. You might never understand German sayings and how they apply to everyday life.
6. Finding Nigerian food will be impossible - enjoy what is available - like good bread.
7. You will miss key family events - there will be more to experience in the future.
8. Life will happen, and your plans will change - don't panic and don't give up.
9. You will need to discover yourself and grow - it's life.
10. The German and Nigerian cultures are very different - learn to navigate the new.

 
Top 10 tips
Summarizing the greatest lessons I learned on my journey that could help you too.

1. Be prepared and embrace change - things will happen, accept and adapt to change. Be aware of the emotions you will go through. Especially the negative emotions like anger and fear.
2. Have a plan and stay focused on your goals - you need to know what you want to achieve and take necessary steps. Continuously remind yourself of what you are working towards.
3. Build and value your community - you will need a local support system. Make new, very close friends. Find people who support you on your journey.
4. Learn the language and cultural differences - take language classes from the beginning and interact with locals. Be aware, accept and adopt the new culture.
5. Ask questions and get professional support - you will feel lost. If you need help, ask for it and take it when offered. Don't waste time trying to do everything on your own. Seek the counsel of experts to help you progress and develop.
6. Make time to reflect on your journey and reassess - Sometimes we are lost in the now and don't see the big picture.
7. Discover your new home - Travel and explore the cities around you and enjoy the culture.
8. Take care of yourself – there is only one you, prioritize self-care. It's easy to get caught up in being busy and forget to take care of your most valuable resource.
9. Share your story -  Talk about your real experience and challenges with your support system. You do not have to go through your journey alone.
10. Don't give up - You might need to change your approach, but it is important not to give up.

 
Final Thoughts/Outlook
Thanks for coming with me on this reflection journey of my life in Germany.
In 2015, my relocation journey took me to the US. Watch out for "My life in the US: Year 1" story. Follow my developing relocation story as part of the Her Relocation series.
 
Your support & kind words
When I started telling my story, I had no idea what types of doors it'll open to me. The feedback I received was above my expectation. As a symbol of my appreciation and I want to share some quotes with you.

• "It's so important to be open to change, but as with most things, it's much easier said than done. Your experiences have laid the path for others, giving them permission to be brave, to make those difficult decision and to remain flexible."  - T., UK
• "Your story is a real inspiration to me I have struggled with being stuck and not knowing where to go and sometimes how to go about it. It'll be interesting to hear how you kept yourself motivated through the changes. Keep it coming. " - P., UK
• "Great story MC. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to continue reading about your journey. " - W., USA
• "Loved your post! In moments where I feel very settled and tamed by my routine, I truly admire our capability to find that drive within us that will take us to new places. Some people see relocating to a new country/city as a hardship and struggle; I say you make it whatever you want it to be! I've always been blessed to meet with amazing people everywhere I went to." - R., USA
• "Brilliant blog MC, your writing style is simple yet striking. Looking back to when you visited us in 2006, I had no idea you were going through your own journey too. I am proud to admit that I have learnt one thing (or more) from your splendid writing." - C., UK
• "Determination! You have done so well. Your experiences have shaped you. " - O., Nigeria
• "Wow our stories are so similar it amazes me. I always assumed Nigeria would be where I would end up but after to failed attempts at moving back, I decided perhaps it was best to just brighten the corner I have been placed in, and now I have embraced and see this land as mine. Thank you for sharing, please don't stop. " - J., USA
• "Just finished your 3-5 year Blog Post and I cannot wait for the next story! I always knew that you are great, but reading about your journey is so inspirational, that I wanted to thank you for letting me being part of your story for a short while!! " - U., Germany

• "Great job!! After 16 years in the U.S., I can say I that you covered pretty much all that I experienced apart from the language part. Keep sharing!!! " - Y., USA
• "Looking forward to reading more about your relocation! Travel has opened my eyes to how big the world is and how we can get caught up in our day to day" - J., USA