 Over the past 21 years, I have had the opportunity to celebrate hundreds of holidays in Germany and the US. As I have lived in multiple countries, I have adopted new holidays and also created my traditions. Especially as we prepare for the busiest holiday season, I have been reflecting on the exciting and different holidays that I have experienced.
In this blog post, I will share what I learned about holidays living in Germany and the US. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Christmas in Germany The first Christmas I spent in Germany was very different. To start with, it was the first winter I experienced, and it snowed a lot. Secondly, I was about to learn that Germans celebrate Christmas very differently. When I was growing up in Nigeria, the major festivities were on December 25th, and on the 26th, we got to continue celebrating with our extended family. Now that I was in Germany, I learned that people celebrated on Christmas eve. I lived in Germany for 14 years and never got used to it. However, one aspect of Christmas that I really loved were the Christmas Markets. I made it a point to visit the ones around me every single year. It became a part of my Christmas traditions in Germany. New Year's traditions in Germany In my early years in Germany, I was very surprised at how people celebrated the start of the year. I learned about many families' traditions, such as coming together and eating special meals on New Year's Eve. This was very different for me growing up in Nigeria, where we typically spent New Year's eve in Church. After 21 years of living abroad, I have adopted enjoying family time and special meals to mark the start of the new year. Discovering "Karneval" in Cologne Around the world, many countries celebrate Carnival. Nigeria is not one of those countries. I had only seen a place transform into a big party city for a few days every year when I moved to Cologne in 2010. Everyone comes out to celebrate Carnival and the traditions around it. At work, they asked us to come in costumes. I had never worn one before and did not even know how to choose what I wanted to dress as. So I went as myself without a costume. I admire people who plan their outfits for months and are passionate about it. Easter traditions in Germany and the US Growing up in Nigeria, the Easter celebration focused on the religious aspects and was a time for families to come together. The first time I heard about the Easter bunny in Germany, I did not really understand the connection. When I moved to the US, I learned about the Easter egg hunt, kids dressing up, and other Easter traditions. Interestingly, I now forget Easter celebrations since I moved to the US because it is not a holiday, unlike in Germany and Nigeria. Celebrating the 4th of July in the US When the stores start filling up with items with the American flag, I am reminded that Independence Day is approaching. The traditions where people spend time with family and friends outside are awesome to see. In some cities, there are parades and more connections to the historical events around the celebrations. Interestingly, I really like the time off that happens around this time and spending time with people I like, but I rarely think about the day's symbolism. Halloween in the US Celebrating Halloween is becoming something that many countries have learned from the US. However, the way everything changes once fall sets in to remind people that Halloween is around the corner is very American. I am not too fond of scary things, so this is a holiday that I skip. As I navigate holidays as a mother, this is one where I ask myself how I can find a way for our son to participate in the kid's activities around Halloween. This year, our son's daycare is hosting a Halloween parade. I need help thinking about the costumes that he can wear. One part of Halloween that my Nigerian upbringing is stopping me from getting used to is Trick & Treat, where kids go door to door and gather candy. There is just something about accepting candy from strangers that raises alarms in my mind. I am smiling as I think about it. Thanksgiving in the US Thanksgiving was a very new holiday to me when I moved to the US in 2015. It is not a holiday that is celebrated in Germany and Nigeria. Over the past years, I have been learning about the holiday and its transitions. The size of the turkey was one of the first scary things I experienced on my first thanksgiving here. There is something special about celebrating with family and friends. In our home, we celebrate thanksgiving with Chicken and a Nigerian rice dish. That is our way of combining our Nigerian heritage on this very American holiday. Gifts are a huge deal for Christmas in the US The other day, I told my husband how surprised I was that advertisements for Christmas gifts had already started in October. In the US, people really take gift-giving very seriously. I still remember my first Christmas here when we visited some extended family, and they spent considerable time exchanging gifts. My husband and I quickly decided we wanted to celebrate the season and not be caught up in the gift-buying craze in November and December. Learning about other people's holidays One of the great benefits of being an immigrant is that we get to meet a lot of people who have cultures and religions that are different from ours. Over the years, I have learned about many cultural and religious holidays. Among the differences, there are some commonalities in how we celebrate holidays. I have found that food always plays an important role. Final Thoughts As immigrants, we have created a great combination of the holidays we celebrate in the countries we grew up in and the new ones in the countries where we now live. The merging of cultures and traditions makes our experiences very unique. I am excited to learn more about holiday traditions from the places where I live and the people around me.
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 On my 21-year journey of living abroad, I have had some fun experiences. The experiences have made my journey very enjoyable and taught me many valuable lessons. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my journey would be like.
In this blog post, I will share ten things that have made me smile on my Relocation journey so far. Check out my other "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Meeting people from new countries and backgrounds Moving and living in different countries has helped me meet many great people. Interestingly, after all these years, I still remember many people I met on my journey. My favorite part of meeting new people is learning about them and their cultural backgrounds. There is so much beauty in the different cultures that exist in the world. I am still learning a lot even after this long. #2: Discovering new food Growing up in Nigeria, I grew to appreciate great food. We enjoyed local Nigerian foods and some international food that made its way via expats living in Nigeria. Moving to Germany, I could enjoy some German food, taste authentic Italian food, learn about different varieties of African dishes and discover Turkish food for the first time. And then, years later, when I moved to the US, I tasted Mexican food and lots of seafood for the first time. #3: Watching International sports - World cup and The Olympics Every World Cup and Olympics brings a lot of excitement. There is something magical about seeing the countries I care about come together and cheer their teams on. I still remember watching the World Cup after moving to Germany and supporting the Nigerian Super Eagles team. Then as years passed, I started supporting Nigeria and Germany at international sports events. This year will be different as Nigeria did not qualify for the World Cup. #4: Learning new languages Speaking new languages helped me integrate into the new countries that I was living in. Life changed for the best when I could communicate with people around me. It took years for me to understand jokes in German. Once I did, I understood the culture a little bit better. #5: Traveling to new countries and cities Over the last 21 years, I have had the opportunity to visit some amazingly beautiful cities and countries. Living in Germany, many places were accessible via train, which was very convenient. Since I moved to the US, I have been fortunate to visit new countries for work, go on road trips and explore more than I did on the earlier part of my journey. #6: Sharing my experiences with others My blog started with the desire to share my story and build a community of women who support one another on their journey. It has been great to hear other people's stories of living abroad and the lessons they have learned. I celebrate every woman who has forged her path in different countries, overcome challenges, and is thriving. #7: Being Inspired to do new things One of the great things that living abroad has provided me is it has expanded my perspective. There are so many things that I never imagined experiencing and would not have if I had stayed in Nigeria. I enjoy seeing people doing extraordinary things that I aspire to do. I now know I can accomplish greatness and work towards it. #8: Sharing a part of my journey with my twin sister When my sister moved to Germany to be with me in 2003, I was over the moon. Life felt different; I had my person who would be my companion on this journey. We created a lot of great memories together and went through a lot. I can still remember the moment when we had a lot of fun and laughter. I feel very fortunate to have been able to experience a part of my journey with my twin sister. #9: Discovering myself I moved back to Germany when I was fifteen and still had much growing up. It has been fun to discover who I am and the identities that make me who I am. I feel very fortunate to get to know a lot about myself. Living abroad has given me a lot of time to shape my likes and dislikes. #10: Teaching our son aspects of our culture Lately, I have been thinking about the unique opportunity that my husband and I have as we raise our son in multiple cultures. It has been fun to start teaching him aspects of our culture and also that of the country where we live. I am looking forward to seeing the mix of beautiful cultures that he will grow up knowing. Final Thoughts Being an immigrant definitely has its ups and downs. I am very grateful for all the great experiences that have brought me joy. Celebrating these moments makes me remember them like they were yesterday.  When you ask someone where they are from or call home, you typically have some assumptions about how they might respond. One of the beauties of being an immigrant is that we get to define where our home is, and sometimes we have multiple places that we consider our home. The famous saying "home is where the heart is" has a very different meaning to me after living as an immigrant in multiple countries over 21 years.
In this blog post, I will share the evolution of how I think about home and the five lessons that I have learned on my journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Starting point: What does home mean to me? Over the past 21 years of living in multiple countries and cities, I have had to redefine what home means to me. At the beginning of my time in Germany, I thought Nigeria was home. It was where I had spent my childhood, and most of my family still lived. As the years progressed and I started growing my life in Germany, I began to feel Germany was home. It was where I had spent my young adulthood and started my serious life. Then the US became home once I planted my roots and went on to have our son here. Home is wherever I live, build memories, spend time with people I love, and do things I am destined to do. Answering the question about my heritage and home Although many of my friends also experienced this, especially living in Germany, I cannot believe that people thought it was acceptable to ask people questions about when they are returning home. There is no more effective way to let people know they are not welcome and do not belong than a question like that. Asking someone where they are from already lets them know that you think they are from a different place. I have gotten used to the questions and have educated people on alternative ways to phrase the question. However, the question of when I am going back to where I came from will never be ok. The truth is I am at home here or wherever we choose to live next. Finding and building my home When people talk about home, they associate it with a physical space. Throughout my life, I have lived in almost 20 houses. When I moved to the US was the first time that I had lived in a single place for now over seven years. If I had based my definition of home on the physical space, I would never have felt the sense of home. For me, home is more about the sense of belonging and how I feel in my heart. I have been fortunate to feel at home at various phases of my life, and I also know the feeling of not being able to belong where I am. Accepting that I can have multiple places I call home With my family living in the Bay Area, I call the US home. In addition, I still feel at home every time I visit Germany and Nigeria in different ways. All the countries that I have lived in symbolize a critical aspect of where home is for me. Nigeria gave me a lot of my cultural roots, like food, while Germany allowed me to grow into who I am today, and the US taught me to shine and be my whole self. Each of my home countries has a different meaning to me; they are all my home. Creating my home wherever I am It took me seven years of living in Germany before I started feeling at home. I had first to change my mindset about where I called home. My experiences improved significantly after I accepted Germany as my home. I started growing my network, integrating myself more into the community, and finding things that made my life in Germany fun. When I moved to the US over seven years ago, I quickly adapted to being at home in the US. One of the things that I have learned is a crucial factor in my feeling at home is food. In Germany, I was on a search to find places to get Nigerian food ingredients, and now that I am in the US, I am on a constant search for German bread. It might seem very trivial, but the food is something that helps me recreate my home where I find myself. Five Lessons that I have learned about "home" Over the past 21 years, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons that have helped me find my place and feel at home
Final Thoughts The next time you think about asking someone where they are from or where they call home, remember that they belong wherever they decide to be. In our world today, people move to live in different places and build their home in whatever way they choose to. We can all help people feel a sense of belonging whenever our paths cross.  On August 9th, 2001, at age 15, I boarded a flight from Lagos, Nigeria, to Frankfurt, Germany. It was the start of my now 21-year journey of living abroad. It feels like such a huge milestone that deserves to be celebrated. My experiences over the past years have shaped who I am and changed the trajectory of my life for the better. In this blog post, I will reflect on the pivotal moments in my life over the past 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. 2001: Starting a new life Moving from Nigeria to Germany was the start of my new life. I was excited and did not know what to expect. I had visited Germany the year before I moved for a few weeks, but everything was still foreign to me. Although I was born in Germany and spoke German in my very early years, I knew nothing about what it meant to live there. And to top it all, I was moving alone without my sister or mum. 2002: Becoming Homeless One of the moments that shocked my system was not having my own accommodation for over six months in Germany. Luckily I was able to sleep on my friend's couch while I saved to be able to afford my place. I was babysitting to make ends meet and needed some time to move eventually. 2003: New beginnings In early 2003, my sister moved to Germany, and we moved out into our own. I started working at my first part-time job in Germany to pay for my sister and me to live our lives. Although we didn't have enough, we were satisfied with our lives. I still remember us spending time in our tiny hostel room. 2004: Getting my footing I felt like after my rocky start; I was finally making progress in my life. The first two years were spent learning German and setting the foundation to study in Germany. I was finally able to start studying for my official first degree. During my studies, I worked part-time. 2005: Living life as much as I could Although things were better for me, I felt stuck. I was working part-time jobs to pay our bills and had my own small apartment, but I was not progressing in the course I was studying. I was trying everything I could to make it all work. 2006: Going back home I returned to Nigeria for the first time in five years since I moved to Germany. In addition, I got to spend the summer in the UK. This led me to reevaluate where I was in life, and I decided to make a scary move. I moved from Saarbrucken, where I had lived for almost five years, to Trier. Although it was only an hour away, I left my social network behind and had to start afresh. 2007: Restarting my life Moving to Trier was the 2nd time I had a fresh start in Germany. I remember sitting in my new apartment and crying. This was the loneliest I had ever felt in my life. I felt very frustrated that I had not achieved the goals that I had set even after six years in Germany. My determination to do everything I could to make progress, especially in my studies, was stronger than ever. 2008: Feeling a sense of normalcy and then not After all the setbacks I had experienced, I finally felt I was making progress, but then I hit another bump in the road. I failed a class that made me have to change the course I was studying for the third time. With the learnings I gathered from the other pivots I made in my life, I could make a quick change and continue studying. 2009: Running to the finish line Although I had to change my course again, this time was different; I could finally see the finish line. I had gathered enough class credits through the years and only needed a few classes to complete my degree. I am very grateful to the people who gave me the chance to complete an internship at a bank and an airline. My time there solidified my career path as a project and program manager. And to add a cherry on the top, I started a long-distance relationship with my husband. 2010: Graduating from university and earning my first degree After nine years of being in Germany and seven years of studying, I finally graduated with a Bachelors degree in Business Information systems. It was a huge milestone and an achievement that I worked very hard for. After I graduated, I started my first full-time job as a project manager in a mobile agency. 2011: Experiencing my first medical challenge and becoming an aunt For all my adolescent and young adult life, I experienced extreme pain during my menstrual cycles. And about 15 years later, I had to be operated on to remove multiple large fibroids. Even 11 years later, I still remember the horror on my doctor's face when she did the scans and immediately referred me to the University hospital for the operation within a week. Interestingly, one of the happiest moments in my life also happened at the time. My twin sister gave birth to my niece 11 days after my operation. In addition, my relationship was going strong, and I got to visit my now husband in the US for the first time. 2012: Planting the seed for my career growth I decided to start my Masters while I worked full-time because I knew it would help me progress in my career. I was not in the financial place to pay full for my course, and I remember calling a friend to lend a part of my first tuition payment. I saved up for my upcoming payments and was able to pay my fees in full from then on. I really prioritized studying while I worked full time and made a lot of great progress. 2013: Finishing my masters degree The sense of fulfillment I had when I completed my 2nd degree in record time cannot be described in words. Especially with the difficulty I faced with my first degree, it was huge to be able to get my new degree while I worked full-time successfully. I had accomplished another professional goal that I set for myself. 2014: Enjoying life and planning a new start I got to go on vacation with my now husband; we spent time in Florida and on a cruise to the Bahamas. This was my first real vacation that was not centered around visiting family. I remember going back to Germany and feeling like the time had come for me to embark on my next huge adventure and move to another country. 2015: Moving to the US I jumped on the opportunity to relocate to the US with the company I was working for then. This was one of the scariest moves I made and one that totally changed my life's trajectory for the best. I moved to the US in February 2015 and started my new life. Leaving Germany was harder than I thought after 14 years. 2016: Finding my footing in the US Settling into my new home went very well. Having my husband, who had already mastered living in the US as an immigrant many years before me, made things easier for me. I focused on growing my career by investing in learning with classes at UC Berkeley and working with a career coach. It was clear to me that I had to learn other skills to thrive professionally in the US. 2017: Living my best life After two years of living in the US, I was enjoying life both personally and professionally. I had the opportunity to take on a significant task at work that changed my career trajectory. Leading a Program Management Office (PMO) exposed me to people I typically would not have gotten to work with, and it also helped me develop new skills. 2018: Returning to Nigeria and Germany I got to go back to Nigeria after 12 years after my last visit in 2006. We got to see family in Nigeria for a wedding and then go back to Germany for another. Going back to visit my two home countries helped me see how far I had come since I left them. Spending time with family after so many years was so much fun. I knew it was time for me to transition from my job to a new job and intensified my search. One of the challenges I had to navigate as an Immigrant working in the US was the dependency on my work visa. Things came together, and I started a new job at a great company. 2019: Trying to balance my success With great success in my personal and professional life, I struggled with health issues while trying to find my place at a new company. One thing I had learned from the 18 years of living abroad was that I had to be in a place where my contribution was valued, and I could grow. Barely six months into being at this new company, I started looking for a new role. About another five months later, I found a position that aligned with my life's mission, and things started falling into place. 2020: Becoming a mother Interestingly, 2020 was one of the most chaotic years in many of our lives. I found out I was pregnant in early March when the world started falling apart with the global pandemic. In October, our son was born, and my life changed forever. My journey to motherhood was smoother than I expected. I thought it would be more complicated due to the health challenges I had experienced nine years earlier. I am more than thankful for the opportunity to raise our son. 2021: Integrating motherhood and my career When I got back from my maternity leave in February 2021, I was on fire. My desire to be a great mom and have a successful career was strong. I was doing a job that I enjoyed and was determined to continue growing. I had to learn how to integrate being a mother and thriving professionally. There were many ups and downs on the way. Thankfully the ups outweighed the downs. 2022: Living my best life In my 21st year of living abroad, I am at a place where everything has come together nicely in my personal and professional life. There are still lessons that I learn and situations that I do not expect. However, I know that this is where I am destined to be. I have a great family, an amazing job, a sense of purpose, and amazing people around me. Final Thoughts Reflecting on my journey over the 21 years makes me very proud and appreciative of how far I have come. There have been many complex challenges that I faced and so many great moments that I have experienced. I am very excited to see what other countries I get to live in and where I will be in another 21 years. Pictures speak louder than words - 21 years of my life   In the 21 years that I have lived abroad, I had a mix of experiences. Some of them were good while others were not so cool. However, overall my journey has been amazing. There are many moments that I am proud of and still amazed at how my life has tuned out. I never imagined that I would be where I am today.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that I am proud of accomplishing in 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Becoming independent At the young age of 15, I moved from Nigeria to Germany. It was the official start of me having to fend for myself and make critical decisions. I felt so grown-up back then, and now when I think back, I realize how young I really was. Being so young and figuring out my life is something that makes me very proud. #2: Paying for my way through school I will forever be grateful to all the families that allowed me to care for their children. The money I made from babysitting, working in cafes, and on-campus helped pay for my life as a student. I know it's a big deal that I was able to support myself and my sister financially. #3: Earning my first and second degree If you had followed my story, you would know that it took me longer than expected to get my first degree. I changed my under-grad course twice, and it took me about seven years to finally get my Bachelors degree. That did not stop me from going ahead to start my Masters. I decided to study part-time while I worked my full-time job. Finishing my Masters degree in the planned time is something I am very proud of. #4: Getting my German passport One of the most complex parts of being an immigrant is securing a visa or legal stay approval. For ten years of living in Germany, I was on a visa that granted me a short time stay of six months. This was a very stressful process, and I felt really relieved when I was finally eligible to apply for a German passport. The truth is that traveling and living in other countries became much more accessible than when I only had a Nigerian passport. #5: Building my family and home My family is one of my biggest accomplishments in life. I have people that I love and get to spend my life with. In addition, finding a place where I really feel at home was not always easy. I am proud of the fact that I have been able to have my family, find my place, and be settled now. #6: Being able to give back I feel very fortunate to be able to meet my own needs and support people around me. Years ago, I was struggling to afford my basic needs. Being financially stable was the first step, and then I was able to start building wealth that helped me afford to invest in my loved ones' lives as well. #7: Following my passions In the early days of my journey, I focused more on surviving and didn't have much time to invest in my passion projects. The truth is that I didn't know what I was passionate about. In recent years, I have been able to spend more time doing things that I really enjoy. My blog is one of the things that I have always wanted to do, and I have finally gotten to do it. #8: Having a successful career I started as a babysitter and worked many minimum wage jobs to pay my way through college. After graduating, I started building my career as a project manager from scratch. I did not have the access or network that some of my peers did. It took a lot of hard work to achieve the professional success that I have experienced so far. #9: Finding happiness in life On my journey living abroad, I have experienced a lot of ups and downs. It took me a long time to get to a place where I was genuinely happy. I am now at a place in my life where I feel satisfied and excited for the future. #10: Staying true to who I am As an immigrant, your identity is a complex topic to navigate. I have lived in many countries and have been influenced by many life experiences. I now know who I am and am confident in what I can offer the world. Final Thoughts Reflecting on the past 21 years, I am very grateful for how far I have come. Although the first years were very rocky, I am where I was destined to be. All my experiences made me who I am today.  Over the past 21 years, I have had the privilege of living in the US and Germany. I have been reflecting on my journey living abroad and thinking about things I do not talk about often. I acknowledge that there are many experiences of immigrants that I will not be covering because not all experiences are the same, yet we have many similarities.
In this blog post, I will share things about my experience and other immigrants that I have come across on my journey. We could talk about this topic for a very long time. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: You will always stand out If you live as an immigrant in another country, you will undoubtedly stand out. It is a massive adjustment to now be noticed, especially for those who have lived in countries where we blended in. The status of an immigrant follows you everywhere you go. I have learned to accept that as part of my life experience. #2: You always think about your differences As immigrants, we have many differences from the majority of the people in the countries we live in. The differences range from race, ethnicity, language, social-economic, religion, background, and many others. We are very aware of our differences every single day. #3: You live with the thought of being denied a visa/stay and having to go back to your home countries Part of most immigrant journeys starts with a temporary visa or approval to stay for a limited time. With that comes the knowledge that your stay could be revoked, and you may be asked to return to your home country. In fact, even after you get a passport from your new home country, the thought stays in the back of your mind. #4: You don't have access to a lot of things When I went to university in Germany, the access differences from my German counterparts were very noticeable. I always wished I had the knowledge, networks, financial support, and access that other students had. We make it work, but the path there is more challenging. #5: You do not know some systematic structures and processes I still think back to when I arrived in the US and faced challenges getting a credit card because I did not have credit. This was totally new to me as Germany does not have the same financial structures. I have a very long list of things I wish I had known early. Even after living abroad for over 21 years, there are still some things that I don't know and learn. #6: Finding a place to get your hair done might be a challenge Immigrants who have a different hair texture from the predominant group in the country they now live in will understand this. My friends did my hair for many years because I could not find a place to get my hair braided when I moved to Germany. This contributed to me deciding to cut my hair low because it helped me. #7: You will miss food and other things you enjoy This was actually the first thing that came to my mind. My immigrant experience would not be complete without me talking about food. It is one of the things that connects me with my culture. 21 years ago, when I started my journey as an immigrant, food from different countries was not as readily accessible. Interestingly, till today, there are some foods that I have not eaten since I left Nigeria. #8: You may face discrimination This post would not be complete if I didn't mention the fact that many immigrants face discrimination for their race, ethnicity, language, social-economic, religion, background, and other differences. A lot of immigrants do not share their negative experiences. My hope is that people will have more inclusive experiences. #9: People often underestimate your abilities The status of an immigrant and someone who is different sometimes makes people think that you are unable to achieve big goals. Every time I hear about immigrants that have paved their way and are doing great things, I am very proud. I have had the opportunity to work with people from different backgrounds who are amazing at what they do. #10: Your view of the world is multifaceted One of the things I appreciate the most about being an immigrant is that my perfective has been enriched by every country I live in and all my experiences. There is something special about learning new cultures or languages and building a new life from scratch in a new country. Final Thoughts Our world is more multi-cultural now than at any other time in history, and it's a beautiful thing. Seeing fellow immigrants makes me appreciate my journey even more. A lot of people experience good and bad things daily. Please contribute to making the world a place where everyone, irrespective of their background. To all the immigrants out there, keep being great!  Over my lifetime, I have had the privilege of living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Twenty-one years ago, when I moved to Germany and started my experience as an immigrant, I had no idea where I would be. My journey has had many highs and lows. I know for certain that this is the life I was meant to be living and would not change it for anything. In this blog post, I will share five ways being an immigrant impacted my life. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Allowed me to see more of the world Since I left Nigeria in 2001, I have been fortunate to visit ten countries on four continents. Growing up in Kaduna, a city in northern Nigeria, everything that I knew about the world was what I saw on TV. Seeing the world's beauty, learning about new cultures, and eating good food has made my journey amazing. I am looking forward to other countries that I will get to see over the next years. Made me independent and taught me to work for what I want Leaving home at the age of 15, I had to grow up very quickly and make decisions independently. I learned a lot by being brave and learning from my mistakes. My upbringing prepared me a little for the challenges I faced. When I hear people talk about things they inherited or have gotten without working for, I wonder what it feels like. Over the years, I have had to work very hard to get financial stability, achieve professional success, and live my life. I now know that if I want something, I can work towards it, and I do not need to wait for someone to make it possible for me. Helped me own my identity My cultural identity was something I was unsure of growing up in Nigeria. I was born in Germany to a Nigerian single mother, spent my childhood in Nigeria, and moved to Germany when I was 15. Not knowing my German roots always raised questions in my childhood. When I moved to Germany, I embraced my Nigerian identity, especially the food. Years later, when I moved to the US, I celebrated my German culture. I can now confidently say that I am German-Nigerian. Taught me how to adapt to change When I was younger, my response to the question about what one of my weaknesses was to say that I was scared of change. After 21 years of constant change, I now know that I am very resilient and adapt very well to new situations. I have lost count of the number of times that things changed in my life. I have experienced multiple transitions from moving to new homes, changing jobs, meeting new people, and settling into new countries. I have become very used to change and no longer fear the impact of life changes. Changed the trajectory of my life Looking back on my childhood and humble beginnings, life was very different from how things are now. Being an immigrant has given me the greatest life that I could never have imagined I would have. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I did not leave Nigeria to start a new life in Germany and then also when I moved to the US years later. The last 21 years have made me my best self. Final Thoughts There are many aspects of my journey that I have taken for granted. Reflecting on the ways my life has changed reminded me of how strong all my experiences have made me.   Over the last 21 years, I have had many experiences as an immigrant in Germany and the US. I recently talked with someone who had immigrated to the US, and we shared our common experiences. It is amazing to see how many things we have in common because we have lived in a different country than the ones we were born in.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that are part of my life as an Immigrant and how I handle them. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Being affected by unrest in the world With everything going on around the world, my heart goes out to people who are affected in the regions and those in the diaspora who are watching from afar. With every news story about bad things happening, it feels very personal. I know how it feels to worry about peace in the world and the impact on people you know. How do I handle it?
Missing key family milestones Our family recently grew by one member, and I could not be there in person. Recently, I recalled how many family celebrations I have had to watch from afar. I have gotten used to being too far away to celebrate key milestones with my extended family. How do I handle it?
Not understanding the jokes and references Whenever someone uses a cultural or historical reference that I do not understand, I am reminded that I am an immigrant. There are many things that people ask me about Nigeria, Germany, or the US that I do not know. Every day, someone mentions something about the country I am in that is new to me. How do I handle it?
Missing some of your favorite food If you read my blogs, you know how much I miss German bread. Someone talked about bread at a gathering that I was visiting lately, and I was already excited about eating great bread. When I moved to Germany, I still remember that I did not know where to find ingredients to make Nigerian food. We have definitely come a long way with the availability of food items from different countries. How do I handle it?
Getting a visa and other immigration documents Sitting in the offices of the immigration officers who get to decide if you can stay in a country, is a very humbling experience. No matter how many times you have been in that situation, there is always a small thought in your mind wondering if this is the time you get denied a stay in a country and would have to leave. How do I handle it?
Being asked where you are from Interestingly the question I get asked the most is, "where are you from." I have gotten very used to the question and know how to distinguish the intent behind the question. Most of the time, people are curious because they hear a different accent when I talk, and other times people want to make me feel like I don't belong. Fortunately, I have received more of the questions asked with positive intent. How do I handle it?
Disconnecting from your social network Every time I talk to someone who grew up on the same city or country that they currently live in, I wonder what it is like. I have lived in 3 countries and many different cities, which has made me lose touch with the people I spent some time with. Social media has helped me keep in touch with some people I grew up with, but the connection is certainly not the same. How do I handle it?
Having to create a new home often One of the advantages of being an immigrant and living in different places is that you develop the skills to create a home where you find yourself. Over the years, I have learned not to be attached to a physical location and to find happiness wherever I am. When I moved to the US, I was able to leverage the lessons I learned living in Germany. And now, I have built home my own little family. How do I handle it?
Not having some privileges or access to resources When I was studying in Germany, I wished that I had access to other students' financial resources. It would have made my life much easier. There is a long list of other privileges that Immigrants do not know about or have access to. How do I handle it?
Understanding the experiences of other Immigrants There is something very powerful about being different and having experienced being the "only" or a minority. It makes you more sensitive to the experiences of others whose lives are different from majority groups. Honestly, being an immigrant has made me kinder and more respectful of people. How do I handle it?
Final Thoughts My experiences as an immigrant have made me a better human. I am very grateful to everyone on my journey that has been my companion. I am living the amazing life that I want to be living.  My life experiences living in multiple countries have shaped me significantly. Over the past months, I have reflected on my amazing journey over the past 21 years. It has been very empowering to remember all that I have been through, my accomplishments, the amazing relationships, and the places I have been. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. First trip to Nigeria In 2006, my sister and I traveled back to Nigeria to see our mom. It had been five tough years of living and surviving in Germany. I worked hard to save the money for our tickets and still remember the excitement we felt as we packed our bags. Interestingly, my memories are mostly centered around the people we spent time with when we returned to Kaduna, the city we grew up in. I still remember sitting with our Grandma, who was very surprised and happy to see us. We also spent some valuable time with some of our childhood friends. When we were living, I was hoping we would visit more often. What did I learn?
A summer to remember I spent the summer of 2006 in England as a nanny for a family I met in my first year in Germany. After a few months of living in Germany, I met the mom on a train ride, and we bonded immediately. Having a friend who spoke English was special. Once she had her daughter, I babysat her before they moved back to the UK. This was actually the first income that I made in Germany. Fast-forward to when I spent the summer with them in Northern England years later. Taking care of a five-year-old over the summer was a lot of fun. However, I had no idea what the time away from Germany would do to me. This was the first time I re-evaluated where I was in life, and I realized I had to make some changes. What did I learn?
Trying times When I returned to Germany from Nigeria and England in 2006, things started unraveling very quickly. I knew that I had to make some tough choices. The first choice I made was to change the university course I was studying, which meant I had to move to a new city. I had an immense feeling of failure that stemmed from the fact that I expected to have completed my studies after being in Germany for six years, but I was far from it. Looking back, that was one of the pivotal moments that changed the trajectory of my life for good. What did I learn?
A year of significant changes One common theme was between my sixth year living in Germany and the US. In 2006, I made the major decision to change my university course and move to a new city. In 2020, the world was changed by a global pandemic, and my life was changed as I became a first-time mom. While the changes in both years were significant, I was in a much better place in 2020. The main difference was that I was surrounded with love, financially and professionally stable. That made my experience with significant change more pleasant. What did I learn?
Living through chaos Going through the first year of a global pandemic meant that we were mostly at home. I was very grateful that I was in a place where I was comfortable and could continue living my life with all the chaos happening in the world. It made me reflect on other phases of my life where I felt uncomfortable in my skin and home. Another great thing in my life was that I was in a very happy relationship which made the time at home enjoyable. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The person I was in 2006 was very different from who I was in 2020. However, my journey had a similar theme; I was going through many life changes. In 2006, I had hit a "wall" and was not making progress. Compared to 2020, I was progressing and entering an amazing phase in life. As I wrote this post, I was overcome with gratitude for how far I have come on my relocation journey.   This year marks 21 years of my living in different countries. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could never have imagined that I would be living in the US. Over the past seven years since I moved here, my life has changed in many ways, and I am enjoying it a lot. I am very grateful for my experiences on this incredible journey.
In this blog post, I will reflect on my seventh year in the US. This is part of my "Her Relocation" series, where I talk about my experience living in multiple countries over the past 20 years. Check out my previous posts about My Life in the US - Year 1, Year 2&3, Year 4, Year 5, and Year 6. Enjoying California We took our first vacation as a family of three, and it was one of the best experiences in my life. It was the first time I really enjoyed California and its beauty after seven years of living here. I have been on short trips to different cities, but this time it was different. The scenes driving down the pacific coast highway are the most beautiful ones I have seen in my life. We took our time, soaked up the sun, had good food, and bonded as a family. It was very important to me to start this new family tradition with our son, and I loved it. Missing my people This year more than ever, I missed my social network that is made up of family and close friends. The great people and connections that I have made have been one of the pillars of my life abroad. Being in the second year of a global pandemic made traveling to see family impossible. We kept waiting for things to get better so our son could finally meet our family and close friends in person. I am confident that we will be reunited with our people very soon. Experience with Immigration services There are times when I become very aware of my status as an immigrant. One of those moments is when I need to do anything regarding my visa or passport. This year, I had to extend my US green card and get a new German passport. It was the first time I needed to renew my passport outside Germany, and it went very smoothly. I really appreciated the German efficiency a lot. However, when it came to extending my green card, it was another story. The process is not transparent and long. I am still in the process of getting an extension even after six months. As I say that, I know of people who have been waiting much longer and appreciate my privilege of still having my legal residence status. Scary Political situations So far in my relocation journey, I had never seen anything like what happened at the US capitol on Jan 6. Interestingly, I was napping with my almost 3-month-old baby at that point, and when I woke up, I started following the events on TV. I sat there, totally surprised by what was happening. I moved to the US at a very interesting time and political climate. The events of that day were very scary and intensified the underlying concern I had with what was happening politically in the US since I moved here in 2015. Every day I hope for the best and acknowledge that this is a very complicated country with a lot of history. Access to healthcare One of my concerns about moving to the US was access to healthcare. I had heard of many horror stories, and then when the pandemic started in 2020, the US was not handling it very well. There were so many things that were not going right, from testing to containing the spread of the virus. When the vaccines became available, I was worried that it would be very complicated to get access. However, to my surprise, when the time came for vaccines to be made available, everything went smoothly. I really appreciate the access to free vaccines that some people don't have. Celebrating 20 years of living abroad Thinking back on my journey, I am very proud of where I am today. My experiences living in Germany and the US have shaped who I am today. I have had some difficult times when I could never have imagined the life I have now. I have met great people, visited places, learned a lot of lessons, and become who I was always destined to be. I am very excited for the years ahead, the countries I will have the opportunity to live in, and my experiences. Final Thoughts - 10 Lessons I learned In the seventh year of my life in the US, I learned a lot of great lessons, including the following:
 Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story. Comparing the fourth year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2004 versus where I was in 2018. These were very different years, one filled with the feeling of being lost, and the other was making bold moves while living out my dreams. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Getting out and seeing things differently In 2004, my sister and I left Germany for the first time after living there for almost three years. We spent the summer in London caring for six children who were on vacation. When I think back on my journey, that trip was a turning point for me. I needed to be in a different place away from my life. Having candid conversations with people who knew me during my childhood about where I was in my life was special. We also had the opportunity to travel to have some fun when we visited Disneyland in France on the hottest days I have experienced. What did I learn?
Going back to Nigeria Visiting Nigeria in 2018 for the first time in 12 years was spectacular. I was a very different person and had been through a lot since I visited the last time. Eating some great Nigerian food was one of my highlights. I got to eat things that I had missed being away from Nigeria for so long. So many things reminded me of my childhood and the great memories I had. The sounds and the scents took me back many years. What did I learn?
Traveling back to my other home country After living in the US for over three years, I finally went back to Germany for a family celebration. Going back to the city of Saarbrucken, where I spent the early years of my time in Germany, was phenomenal. A lot had changed in my life between when I lived there and my visit in 2018. I enjoyed shopping at my local ALDI grocery store, driving past some of the places I lived, going to the restaurants I ate at, and seeing people who were part of my life. What did I learn?
Accomplishing things I never thought I would There are some places in life that I could never imagine myself being. In 2018, my life changed in a significant way when I started a new job. I had been planning a professional move for a few years and was extremely surprised when it finally happened. The person I was in 2004 had no idea where I would be 14 years later. I wish I knew everything would work out better than I could have ever imagined. What did I learn?
Having a companion on my journey My sister was my companion for the early part of my journey living abroad. In 2004, we were living together and struggling to settle into our lives in Germany. Fast forward to 2018, living with my husband in the US. Thinking back on my journey, my twin sister and husband have been very instrumental and have supported me in many ways. I am very grateful that I did not have to go through all my experiences together. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The person that I was in 2004 was very different than who I was in 2018. In 2004, I did not know where I wanted to go in my life and felt very lost. Compared to 2018, I lived the life I wanted and enjoyed the fruit of my hard work. If my younger self knew that everything would be awesome, and I will be happy.   Over the past month, I have been celebrating my 20th anniversary of living abroad. Reflecting on my life has been an amazing experience. There have been many ups and downs. I am excited to wrap up this series.
In this blog post, I will share the top 10 things that I wish I did more of and want to do more of over the next years on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Travel more and see the world Especially when I moved to the US, I realized that I was very far from the rest of the world. While I lived in Germany, I could have traveled more. However, primarily due to financial constraints, I was not able to. Now that I am more financially independent, I can now see more of the world. Spend more time with my loved ones For most of my journey, I have lived so far from my loved ones and have not spent much time with them. Especially going through the pandemic over the last 18 months, I have realized how much I want to spend time with my people. Celebrate my cultural identity It took me over 14 years of living abroad to accept the fact that I have different facets of my identity. I now know that I am German-Nigerian, and both cultures influence who I am. There is beauty in knowing and living in your cultural identity. Enjoy the local culture and sights After living in California for almost seven years, I feel like I have seen more in the last years than when I initially moved here. I want to enjoy where I live a little more. There is so much to see and experience wherever you find yourself. Build wealth and invest in my future Most of my first years on this journey were spent being broke and then becoming financially independent. I want to focus more on building wealth. I have learned many valuable lessons about finances and have been applying them to my life. Build new memories While I was reflecting on my journey, I realized that there is still so much that I can experience. I am excited to go out of my comfort zone and do new things. When I am reflecting on the next 20 years, I want to have so much to share. Tell my story Although I started sharing some aspects of my journey over the last three years, there is still a lot that I have not shared. One of the main reasons is that I have not yet entirely permitted myself to share all aspects of my story. I decided to start sharing more about my experiences navigating life in new countries. Do more of what I enjoy In the last year, I have been asking myself what I enjoy doing. I spent most of my journey trying to survive, and now I am in a phase when I'm thriving. I can now enjoy myself more, and I am excited to experience more food and see beautiful places. Worry less and live in the moment For a major part of my 20-year journey, I was very worried about my future. I did not know where my life was heading. Over the past years, I have learned to worry less and want to continue on that path. Enjoy the experience with our son My life abroad changed when I had our son in 2020. I now get to experience living in different countries with him. Sometimes I wonder what his cultural identity will be and how he will live his life. Final Thoughts Looking back, I can see how far I have come on my journey. I am very grateful for everything that I have experienced and excited for the amazing future ahead. This week, I will be continuing my 20th-anniversary celebration by sharing moments that changed my life forever. On my journey so far, there have been those times when I did not know how much the decisions I made will impact my life in a good way. When I reflect on my journey, I know there were many opportunities for things to go really wrong, but they did not. In this blog post, I will share the top 10 defining moments on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Being Evicted and living on people's couches Coming home and seeing my belonging outside the door of the house that I had lived in for almost a year in Germany is one memory that I will never forget. I feel like this was the real beginning of my journey surviving all by myself. How did my life change?
#2: When my sister moved to Germany My sister moved to Germany about 17 months after I moved there. Her arrival was at a time where I was struggling and had no home of my own. Some things happen in life that motivate you to make bold moves, and this was one of them Together, we faced all the challenges and built memories for life. How did my life change?
#3: Moving into our first apartment My sister and I shared a tiny room in a hostel on campus. Having our own space felt like the best thing ever. Interestingly this was the first place I felt at home after living in Germany for almost two years. I had stayed in places where I went to sleep but did not feel at home. The feeling of being at home is one that I really value. How did my life change?
#4: Deciding to change my University course I had spent three years struggling to complete the first degree I started, and it was not working out. In my life, quitting was one thing I had not done often. I had been trained that if you work harder, you can do everything. However, in this case, I needed to change and do something else. How did my life change?
#5: Getting my first job After I graduated and earned my Bachelor's degree, I had one year to find a job before losing my visa to stay in Germany. It was a lot of pressure because I did not want to lose everything after fighting for nine years. I still remember applying for so many jobs and getting rejections. Finally, I got invited to three job interviews and was hoping to get one. Finally, I got the call. I remember how nervous I was on my first day. How did my life change?
#6: Earning my Masters degree After struggling so much to graduate from my first degree, I never thought that less than a year after graduating, I would decide to start my Masters. I still remember finding the university and the course I wanted to study. It was important for me to continue setting myself apart by gaining more knowledge and getting the official degree. On my professional journey so far, my degree has helped open doors. How did my life change?
#7: Moving to the US When I think back to the timing of my relocation to the US, it was not perfect at all. Given where I was in my life, I knew that even though the circumstances were not optimal, it was time for me to move. My move was the beginning of many great things for me. I was moving to another country to be with my special man with a good job. It was one of the best moves I made in my life. How did my life change?
#8: Starting to tell my story In 2017, I found myself in social situations where I could share more about myself. Until this point, I did not think a lot about my journey or even talk about my life so far. Someone said something I would never forget. She told me she thought I had a unique story to tell. Not only did I start talking about my story more, but I also launched my blog in January 2018. I have taken every opportunity that I am given to tell my story. How did my life change?
#9: Finding my passion Job After working for over 18 years now, from my mini-jobs to internships through full-time positions, I now know what I want to be doing. Helping people be their best selves is something that I enjoy doing. I used to have to do a lot of fulfilling work outside of my full-time job. In the last two years, I have been able to work on programs that align more with my strengths and passion. How did my life change?
#10: Living during a global pandemic The last 18 months have been a very interesting time. My story living abroad will not be complete without mentioning this pivotal time in our lives. The pandemic limited our ability to move around and helped me build deeper roots in my current city. How did my life change?
Final Thoughts As I reflect on my journey, there are so many moments that have made it amazing. I cannot imagine how different my life would have been if I made other choices. A Snapshot of My Story After living in Germany and the US for 20 years, I experienced many things that no one warned me about. When people talk about living abroad, there is a lot that they do not share. If we shared more with each other, we would be better prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly experiences. In this blog post, I will share ten things I wish someone told me I would experience on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Food will be a very important part of your life Over the years, food has become a crucial part of my experience. I find that I stay connected to Nigeria and Germany through the food I cook or crave. Over my years in Germany, I seriously sought out stores that sold Nigerian food ingredients. Back in the day, things were very expensive and scarce. However, I knew that eating some foods that I grew up with will give me some joy. Since I moved to the US over six years ago, I have been looking for bread that tastes like the amazing bread that I enjoyed in Germany. #2: Home is wherever you want it to be I wish someone would have told me that home is not a physical place or country; it is in the heart. This might sound cliché, but my life got much better when I stopped wishing I could go home. I accepted that I was already home wherever I was. I had been planning my exit from Germany for over seven years, and then I decided to start enjoying my life there. It really helped me to focus on building an amazing life there. My transition to the US was much easier because I knew I could create a home wherever I find myself. #3: You will be lonely sometimes and learn to enjoy your own company In my past posts, I shared my experience being away from all my family living in Germany. It was hard in the beginning because I had never been away from my twin sister. I had to learn to enjoy being on my own and find things that make me happy. After spending so many holidays alone, I started creating my own traditions and no longer dread them. Being alone is no longer something that I am afraid of. #4: Measurement systems differ This is very particular to living in the US, where the imperial measurement system is used compared to the metric system in all the other countries, I have lived in. I really do not understand why the US uses a different system. Even after six years living here, I still convert the temperature from Fahrenheit to Celsius when I watch the weather. No one told me that measurement norms will complicate my life. #5: Financial standards differ When I moved to the US from Germany, I learned the concept of credit score. All my life in Germany and Nigeria, I never had a credit card. I had grown very scared of getting into debt. Then I moved to the US where I had to build my credit and was advised to buy everything with my credit card. It took me a long time to get used to it, and till today, I pay off my credit card very regularly because I do not want any issues. #6: Your cultural identity will change How I identify culturally has changed a lot as I have lived in different countries. When I was living in Germany, I felt very Nigerian and identified fully with how I had grown up. Then I moved to the US and noticed that I felt both Nigerian and German. It took me a while to get comfortable with my cultural identity changing. Now I can comfortably say that my food culture is Nigerian and professional culture in German. #7: You will become stronger and resilient With all the difficulties that I had faced on my journey, the good that has come from it is that I am stronger. My ability to handle stressful situations has been tested over time. I have learned to bounce back from setbacks and continue with my life. As a result of all my experiences, I am stronger and more resilient. #8: There will be many amazing people on your journey Over the past 20 years, I have met a lot of amazing people and built great relationships. The people on my journey have been one of the best parts of my journey. Although my circles are small, they have contributed to my life in many ways. #9: You will get comfortable with the unknown and get excited by new things In the past, when I was asked what my weakness was, I said I struggled with change. This is definitely not true anymore. I look forward to doing new things and exploring different opportunities. Moving to new cities and countries taught me to face unknown situations over and over again. Embracing the new with optimism is a skill that I apply in my everyday life. #10: You will have many amazing memories As I have reflected on my journey, I am reminded of so many happy moments. There has been a lot of laughter and celebrating our accomplishments. I wish I could have captured all the happy moments. My journey has been amazing and rewarding. Final Thoughts Telling my story on my blogs has enabled me to share my experiences with others. I really hope that through telling my story, I can help people anticipate what they may experience and validate people's experiences. We are all on this journey together. A Snapshot of My Story On my 20-year relocation Journey, I have experienced a lot of highs and lows. As I reflect on the negative experiences, I am reminded of how much I learned from them. In this blog post, I will share the lowlights on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Taking longer to get my first degree When I moved to Germany, I expected to earn my Engineering degree within five years. I could never have imagined how difficult it would be for me. The first course I started studying did not fit my strengths at all. I tried everything I could to make it work, although I knew I was failing. The thought of quitting and doing something else did not seem like an option for me. It took me three years before I decided to apply to a new university and study a new course. My second course was more aligned with my strengths. However, when I faced some challenges, I knew how to pivot and make changes. I finished the third course much faster and finally graduated with my Bachelor of Science degree. And a few years later, I earned my Masters degree. What did I learn?
Working multiple odd jobs The number of different jobs I did is astonishing. I was a babysitter for multiple families, worked on Campus, at Subway and, in multiple cafes to be able to pay my way through college. Thinking back, it was difficult having to work multiple jobs at once to earn enough money. There were times when I wished I didn't have to work so much and could focus on school more. Not only was juggling multiple low-paying jobs hard, but it was also taking me away from my primary goal, which was to complete my degree. Although it wasn't always fun, I gained many skills. What did I learn?
Having Financial Issues For the longest time, I was worried about not being able to pay my bills. I still remember the only time in my life that I overdraft my bank account by eighteen euros to buy necessities and received a letter from a collection company. I had just moved to a new city and was trying to settle in. The stress I felt was immense. Having to worry about money was a theme of the first ten years of my 20-year journey. I almost left Germany because I was tired of working so hard but still lacking essential things. I promised myself that I would never let myself get back to that place after I started being more comfortable financially. What did I learn?
Feeling lonely and isolated In August 2001, when I moved to Germany, it was a very nice summer. However, the fall and winter months came very quickly, and I was stuck indoors most of the time. At this time, I could not speak German and had not yet made any friends. I can still remember how lonely I felt being away from my twin sister, mum, and friends in Nigeria. The feeling of loneliness lasted for a while until I moved to stay with a friend and then my sister moved to Germany in 2003. Every time I moved to a new city, I had to recreate my social circle and felt lonely for a while. As I moved to new cities and countries, I got better at building connections faster, which helped me feel less isolated. What did I learn?
Surviving bad relationships & friendships I moved to Germany at a very formative time in my life. My experiences with having relationships started after a few years of being in Germany. In the beginning, it was a lot of trial and error. Growing up, I did not have a lot of positive role models who were in relationships or married. As I navigated the waters of relationships, I had some bad ones that caused emotional pain. Interestingly, there were also friendships that I had to let go of because they did not bring me joy, and I felt I was giving too much of myself. What did I learn?
Missing key family milestones and celebrations Being far away from home, I missed key milestones like births, deaths, graduations, birthdays. I still remember crying when I celebrated my first birthday away from my Twin. We had never celebrated any birthday away from each other since we were born. In addition, I celebrated my first Christmas alone. I missed a lot of the holiday traditions that I grew up with. Spending Christmas with my cousins and enjoying great food was a thing of the past. What did I learn?
Having Health challenges On New Year’s Eve in 2005, I went to the Emergency Room after being in so much pain all day. I have high pain tolerance, but this time it was different. I still remember seeing the fireworks on the bus on our way to the ER. At that point, I had no idea that the pain was caused by fibroids. I had endured severe pain for the major part of my life and did not know that it was not normal. Fast forward to 2011, I had to have a myomectomy to remove the fibroids. This was the first major surgery that I had in my life, and I was going through it alone. My sister was heavily pregnant at this time, living in a different city and could not be with me physically. I had the surgery and had a 6-week recovery time at home. Interestingly during this time, my niece was born, and I finally got my German passport. What did I learn?
Feeling stuck at work With the amazing success that I had in my career especially in recent years, also came some negative experiences. In 2017, I spent a lot of time away from home, traveling for work. I was caught between enjoying the work I was doing but not feeling recognized. A year earlier, I had worked with a career coach and was more aware of my professional goals. After being passed up for a promotion that I had worked very hard for, I knew it was time for me to leave my job. It was a complex decision because my visa at that time in the US was tied to my job. This led to me feeling very stuck. What did I learn?
Facing Immigration challenges As an immigrant, your ability to stay in a country is determined by someone in the immigration office. I still remember how nervous I felt every time I had to extend my visas. I was very aware that one person could decide not to extend my visa and change the course of my life. In Germany, there were requirements that I knew I had to meet to stay there. Meeting the financial requirements was one that I struggled with. At that time, you had to show that you had 400 Euros in your account every month and will not be dependent on any financial support programs. Thankfully, I was able to make it work, and my visas were extended. Fast-forward to moving to the US where my immigration status was different, I still faced some minor challenges. Although I met all the requirements, the process was less transparent and took much longer. After going through multiple immigration status changes, I still get nervous and ensure that I meet all the requirements. What did I learn?
Feeling like I do not belong The sense of belonging has been one major lowlight of my journey so far that has been a constant throughout. I have learned to do things that help me feel like I belong when I start feeling otherwise. For the first seven years in Germany, I could not wait to leave. Random people would ask me when I was going home and that was a steady reminder that Germany was not my home. I was mentally counting down to when I will get my degree and go back to Nigeria. After realizing that it would take me a little longer, I decided to start settling in and enjoy my life in Germany. It took me a few more years of learning what makes me feel like I belong. I stopped planning my escape and started building my home. This mindset had helped me feel at home in the US when I moved here. What did I learn?
Final Thoughts The negative experiences that I went through over the past 20 years shaped my journey and taught me many valuable lessons. Although I never want to experience the hardships again, I can now see the lessons I learned in the process. A Snapshot of My Story In August 2001, I embarked on an unknown journey and boarded a flight to Germany from Nigeria. So much has happened in the 20 years since then. I have lived in about eight cities in three countries and experienced a lot. Over the month of August, I will be sharing highlights, lowlights, and lessons learned on my twenty-year relocation journey. In this blog post, I will share ten things I am proud of accomplishing on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. #1: Being brave and bold to start afresh in new cities and countries I still remember the points on my journey where I had to begin a new life in a new city or country. There were times when the move came with joy, like when I moved to the US and other times when I was sad, like when I moved to Trier. In every situation, I made it work. I found what I like about my new homes and built the life I wanted there. #2: Learning new languages, cultures, and traditions When I moved to Germany from Nigeria, I only knew a few words of German from when I was a child. I took courses and learned enough to study in Germany. Fast forward to when I moved to the US, I wasn't really learning a new language, but I was getting to know a different culture. Now I speak four and a half languages and have learned a lot about multiple cultures. This had made me understand and empathize with people from different backgrounds even more. #3: Always bouncing back up after setbacks In the 20 years of living abroad, I have experienced my fair share of challenges and setbacks. The first setback that I faced was being homeless for months in my early years in Germany. Another major setback that I bounced back from was finally getting my first degree after it took much longer than expected. Looking back at those experiences, I overcame them and built a beautiful life. #4: Becoming financially independent I still can't believe that I moved to Germany with no money in my pocket. One thing I knew back then was that I wanted to be financially independent and build wealth. Over the past twenty years, I have prioritized my financial wellbeing and still do not compromise on my financial goals for any reason. I know what it is like to be poor to living off twenty Euros a week to where I am today. Achieving financial independence has allowed me to live a good life today. #5: Creating my close circle of friends and social network The people that have been in my life over the past 20 years are very dear to me. My circle is small and very precious. We have been through a lot of life experiences together and have built very deep friendships. I am very happy to have had so many amazing people on my journey. #6: Earning my degree(s) and certificates It took me nine years of being in Germany to get my bachelor's. In that time, I learned German, went through a university preparation course, changed the course I was studying twice. And then finally, I earned my first degree and started working. Interestingly, I went on to earn my masters which was a better journey for me. Following my Masters degree, I got multiple professional certifications. I was able to apply the lessons I learned from failing for so many years towards my continued learning Journey. #7: Achieving professional success Some of the moments when I was surprised about my success had a lot to do with my professional accomplishments. Often, I wonder how I got to work on big projects, partner with senior leaders and work with global teams. I know that I have put in the work, and it is great to see the great results. #8: Traveling and seeing the World (well, part of it) Since I was living in Germany and the US, I have had the opportunity to travel to Canada, Italy, India, UK, The Bahamas, Dubai, Singapore, Denmark, Greece, France, Luxemburg, and Switzerland. Thinking back to my childhood, I would never have imagined that I would be in places where I can see more parts of the world. Experiencing different cultures and seeing the beauty has been one of my favorite parts of the past 20 years. #9: Giving back to others One of the things that makes me grateful for my journey is that I have enough, have attained success, and can give back to my community. I am a strong believer in the power of giving back and pouring into other people's lives. The opportunities to speak to first-generation immigrant students, coach women, mentor people, and financially support people gives me a lot of satisfaction. #10: Building our home and having an amazing family When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could not even imagine what my life would be like 20 years down the road. Today I have my own family with my two favorite boys - my husband and our son. Everything that I experienced has helped me see what really matters and build my amazing life. Final Thoughts Reflecting on my journey has been very therapeutic for me. I have been through a lot and have not yet shared a lot. I am excited to share my story with you. In my next blog post, I will focus on the lowlights of my journey so far. A Snapshot of My Story Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story, comparing the third year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. I am reflecting on my life in 2003 versus where I was in 2017. These were vastly different years; one filled with struggles and the other was reaping the benefits of my hard work. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Having family around After almost two years alone, it was a blessing to have family in Germany finally. I can still remember when I heard my sister arrived and I could not wait to see her. Sadly, I was struggling and did not have a stable place to live when she moved. We quickly had to find a place to stay and start making a living. Having her there with me made me happy, but it also put a lot of responsibility on me for taking care of both of us. On the other hand, when I moved to the US, I started life immediately with my husband and had a companion throughout my life here. What did I learn?
A place I call home After my sister joined me in Germany, we started living in a tiny room on the University campus. It was in a hostel where we shared some common spaces with about 20 people. I remember watching TV shows in the TV room with other residents in the hostel. Compared to my life in the US, I got to move into a very comfortable home from Day 1. Interestingly when I think about how important a home is to me, it is because I have not always had a place to call home. What did I learn?
The people who contributed to my life when I was in need Telling my story would not be complete without me mentioning the amazing people who contributed to my life. In 2003, my sister and I were surviving on my small earnings from a part-time job that I was doing. We were incredibly good with our money and only got what we needed to live. We could not afford any luxuries, and we accepted that. So, you can imagine how special it was when one of our friends gave us a significant gift. She gave us a five-kilo bag of basmati rice. It might sound small, but at that phase of our lives, it was a lot. I will never forget how excited we were to enjoy a different type of rice. Living in the US, I luckily was not in need, but I got to give to others. What did I learn?
Living a good life and excelling at work In my third year in the US, I was living a life that I could never have imagined in my third year in Germany. I had settled into my new life and had the opportunity to take on a new role at work. The new position allowed me to travel more and do great work. I got to see other countries like Italy, India and visit other cities in the US. I was in a place in my life that I never thought I will ever be in my private life and my career. Living through some of the struggles in my third year in Germany prepared me for the amazing life that I got to live. What did I learn?
Preparing for the next phase Both 2003 and 2017 were transition years for me. In 2003, I was transitioning to standing on my feet in Germany. I had to make a lot of decisions on how I would earn money while I advanced my studies towards my first degree. 2017, on the other hand, was a year when I decided it was time for me to leave my job at a company that I had worked at for almost eight years of my life. Strangely, I was planning the transition at one of the peaks of my experience. My motto was to leave while I was at the top. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The first picture is of me in 2003 in Germany, and the other picture was in 2017. The person that I was in 2003 was vastly different than who I was in 2017. I was really struggling in 2003, but my mindset was that I would do whatever I could to improve my life. My fighter spirit was activated and defined how I approached life. And in 2017, I had to learn when it is time to leave my comfort zone and do something greater.  I am continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story, comparing the second year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2002 versus where I was in 2016, reminds me of how vastly different my life was. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and what I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Having a stable home One part of my journey that I never talk about is that I did not have a stable place to live in my second year in Germany due to some situations. I stayed on people's couches for about eight months. I am incredibly grateful to the people that gave me a place to live during those times. Interestingly, while I went through that experience, I did not think about it too much. I focused more on studying German and working as a babysitter to save up for my own place. Compared to my life in the US, I have been living in an amazing home since I moved here. The stability I had in my second year in the US, I would have wished I had in the early days of my life in Germany as well. What did I learn?
Politics influencing my life When I moved to the US in 2015, I had no idea how politics and the government will influence my life. The 2016 elections in the US affected me more than I would have ever expected. As an immigrant living in the US, I worried about the policies that will affect my stay here. Also, the rhetoric against immigrants made me wonder if I had made the right decision moving here. While I lived in Germany, I had the privilege of not worrying a lot about who was in government, as most of the policies were fair or did not negatively affect me. What did I learn?
Thoughts about my future Especially in year two in Germany, I felt slightly hopeless when I thought about the future. I found myself struggling to build a stable foundation and had no idea what my future in Germany would look like. I was naïve before I moved and expected things to fall into place quite quickly. I did not consider that I was moving to a country where I did not speak the language, knew nothing about the culture, and did not have a social network. When I moved to the US, I was more hopeful and had better prospects for my future. What did I learn?
Making Unexpected connections During my second year in Germany, I met people who supported me through difficult times on a train, bus, or at the station. These included the woman who gave me my first babysitting job and the people whose couches I slept on for a few months. It is strange when I think about the importance of the people I met at very unconventional places. Compared to when I moved to the US, I hardly made connections with people in that way. I had to go to professional and social events to meet new people. What did I learn?
Financial Stability When I moved to Germany, I did not have a financial plan or resources. I still remember the first time I got paid ten Euros for a babysitting job. Having a source of income meant freedom for me. I was now able to buy little things for myself and eventually move to my own place. Fast-forward to when I moved to the US; I was more financially stable. I had learned valuable financial lessons and promised myself that I would never rely on anyone financially. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The first picture is of me in 2002 in Germany, and the other picture was in 2016. Although I am smiling in the picture from 2002, I was going through a lot of tumult in my life. It was taken a few weeks before I became displaced from the home where I was staying when I first moved to Germany. The 2016 picture shows me settled into my work routine in San Francisco. My state of mind in the two pictures was really different. In the latter, I had a solid foundation and was not worried about my future. Reflecting on these two years reminded me of how much my life is better now.  This year marks twenty years of me living abroad. To celebrate this significant milestone in my life, I am taking a moment to reflect on my journey so far. One thing I have been wondering is how my experiences living in various countries differed. My relocation journeys to Germany and the US have been quite different for many reasons. In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. My Age When I moved to Germany in 2001, I was only 15 years old. Thinking back, I really do not know how I did it. When people ask me how I survived in a foreign country at such a young age, I tell them that I did not stop to think about it. I knew that I had to make it work. Fourteen years later, when I moved to the US, I was older and had more life experience. And more importantly, I was mature and knew what I wanted more. What did I learn?
Being mentally prepared Strangely, I was never asked if I wanted to move to Germany. It seemed like the natural next step when I graduated from secondary school (aka high school). I had no idea what I would experience and was not prepared for the journey that I was embarking on. When I relocated to the US, it was my decision, and I had some time to prepare for my move. The most important part was that I was mentally prepared and had an idea of what I could expect. What did I learn?
Facing my fears and worries When I moved to Germany, I did not have time to let fear stop me. Although I was afraid, I had to do everything I could to stay above water and survive. My worries mainly were around finances and being able to study successfully. On the other hand, with the move to the US, I had more to lose as I was in a different phase of my life. I was afraid that if the decision I made was not the right one, it would set me back a few years. I was leaving behind the successful life that I had built in Germany for a new life based on hopes and dreams. What did I learn?
Adapting to cultural differences When I moved to Germany, the cultural shock that I experienced was immense. The culture was vastly different from what I knew growing up in Nigeria. The language barrier made my experience even more difficult. Compared to when I moved to the US, there were still cultural differences. However, this time I spoke the language and was able to adapt a little easier. I also knew that I would experience some culture shock, so I was more prepared. What did I learn?
Hoping for new opportunities When I was going to Germany, I had no idea what opportunities I would have in this new country. It took a while after I moved for me to start to discover them. Coming to the US, I felt like my world was expanding, and great opportunities were available to me. I had learned how to create a plan before I embarked on my quest to start a new life. In addition, I now had the skill set that helped me go after the opportunities I wanted. What did I learn?
Having great people in my life When I moved to Germany, I had to navigate life on my own. The loneliness that I experienced in my first months kept making me want to go back to Nigeria. Thankfully when I moved to the US, I had my now husband here, and he had his established community that I was able to plug into. Having a companion on my journey made my move to the US more delightful. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection They say pictures speak louder than words. The first picture was taken when I moved to Germany in 2001, and the second one was when I moved to the US in 2015. I experienced so many ups and downs between those two pictures. However, one thing remained - my smile.   After 20 years of living in Germany and the US, I have learned many valuable lessons. The good and bad experiences have prepared me for where I am today. As I reflected on how our lives have changed over the past year, I realized that moving and living in different countries helped me survive during this pandemic.
In this blog post, I will share ten things that I experienced living in different countries that prepared me for living through a pandemic. Check out my "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences so far. Lesson #1: Adapting quickly to unexpected situations When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my life would be like years later. I quickly learned that adapting to unexpected situations was necessary for me to thrive. I had grand plans on where I want to be in five years. If you have been following my journey, you know that my life in Germany brought many new experiences that I did not imagine. Fast forward to 2020, a year that made us all change our plans. I quickly accepted the situations and adapted to change, which was one key lesson I learned going through some disappointment and unexpected experiences. Lesson #2: Missing family milestones and celebrations Over the years, living in other countries, I have missed some major family milestones and celebrations. In the beginning, I used to get affected and be engulfed with wishing I was there in person to mark the occasions. I had to learn that I will miss milestones as part of living abroad, and it was ok. Coming to 2020, there have been many life events that we have not celebrated with our families. I still cannot believe that our families have not yet met our son. Lesson #3: Adapting to spending holidays alone (or with my small family) The first Christmas I spent alone in Germany was brutal. Coming from Nigeria, where holidays were a huge celebration, I was not ready for a cold and lonely time in Germany. It took me a few years to get used to the different holidays and build my own holiday traditions. I started really enjoying quiet holidays. When I moved to the US, my husband and I started spending a part of the holidays with our family in Southern California. In 2020, we did not get to spend any holidays with our family or friends. However, we made sure we enjoyed spending the holidays in a special way. Lesson #4: Valuing your personal connections The people that I have met on my journey have been one of the best parts of my life abroad. Especially in a year when everything was chaotic, I went back to the basics of what has helped me thrive on my journey. I reactivated my human connections, and they helped me through 2020. Reflecting on last year, I created some great memories with my friends and family virtually. I appreciate all the amazing people in my life. Lesson #5: Create memories whenever you can I strongly believe that the small memories that we make every day matter, not only the significant memories. My husband and I were very intentional about creating happy memories during the year. We wanted to be able to think back to 2020 and remember the small things that made us smile or brought us joy. As I have moved between cities and countries, I learned the value of keeping all my memories. I can still tell happy stories from my life in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Lesson #6: Find the small things you enjoy and do them Especially when you make huge changes in your life, the little things start to matter even more. Celebrating the little things has made my journey so far unforgettable. I learned to make every win count. When I moved to the US, I was more intentional and celebrated the good things in my life. In 2020, acknowledging the small, good things that were in my life became even more critical. By focusing on the positive, I was able to survive the more trying times. Lesson #7: Having empathy for people in different situations During the pandemic, we have seen many people go through different situations. As I have lived in different countries, I have gotten to know people from different backgrounds. Building those relationships has taught me how to care for others whose experiences differ from mine. Having empathy for people changed how I view the world and become more aware of how it is not always about me. I appreciate the perspective that I have been granted through my experiences. Lesson #8: Believing in yourself We have all had to do things that we never thought we could do over the past year. We discovered that we are stronger than we think. Leaving home at the age of 15 to move to Germany, I did not know the strength and resilience I had. Now looking back on my journey, I had what it took to succeed. Although I had no idea what 2020 would bring, my strength and resilience was put to a test and I learned that I could survive this situation. Lesson #9: Be thankful and appreciate the good Especially during uncertain times and situations that we do not feel we can control; it is easy to focus on what is going wrong. My husband and I remind ourselves of the good in our lives and the privilege that we have. Not complaining and dwelling on what we do not have, has given me peace over the last year. My mindset is to be grateful no matter what happens in your life. #10: Finding joy wherever I find myself For the first seven years of my life in Germany, I silently wished I was somewhere else. I wanted to be back in Nigeria around my family and my community. This mindset hindered me from settling down and enjoying my life. After seven years, I decided to enjoy myself wherever I find myself. It has been a life-changing experience. These days, I am intentional about finding the good in my life where I am today. I now know that I can be happy in whatever situation that I find myself in. Final Thoughts We may not always understand why we experience certain things. However, I am convinced that there is a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned. Time for Reflection
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