Over the past 21 years, I have had the opportunity to celebrate hundreds of holidays in Germany and the US. As I have lived in multiple countries, I have adopted new holidays and also created my traditions. Especially as we prepare for the busiest holiday season, I have been reflecting on the exciting and different holidays that I have experienced.
 
In this blog post, I will share what I learned about holidays living in Germany and the US. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Christmas in Germany
The first Christmas I spent in Germany was very different. To start with, it was the first winter I experienced, and it snowed a lot. Secondly, I was about to learn that Germans celebrate Christmas very differently. When I was growing up in Nigeria, the major festivities were on December 25th, and on the 26th, we got to continue celebrating with our extended family. Now that I was in Germany, I learned that people celebrated on Christmas eve. I lived in Germany for 14 years and never got used to it. However, one aspect of Christmas that I really loved were the Christmas Markets. I made it a point to visit the ones around me every single year. It became a part of my Christmas traditions in Germany.
 
New Year's traditions in Germany
In my early years in Germany, I was very surprised at how people celebrated the start of the year. I learned about many families' traditions, such as coming together and eating special meals on New Year's Eve. This was very different for me growing up in Nigeria, where we typically spent New Year's eve in Church. After 21 years of living abroad, I have adopted enjoying family time and special meals to mark the start of the new year.
 
Discovering "Karneval" in Cologne
Around the world, many countries celebrate Carnival. Nigeria is not one of those countries. I had only seen a place transform into a big party city for a few days every year when I moved to Cologne in 2010. Everyone comes out to celebrate Carnival and the traditions around it. At work, they asked us to come in costumes. I had never worn one before and did not even know how to choose what I wanted to dress as. So I went as myself without a costume. I admire people who plan their outfits for months and are passionate about it.

Easter traditions in Germany and the US
Growing up in Nigeria, the Easter celebration focused on the religious aspects and was a time for families to come together. The first time I heard about the Easter bunny in Germany, I did not really understand the connection. When I moved to the US, I learned about the Easter egg hunt, kids dressing up, and other Easter traditions. Interestingly, I now forget Easter celebrations since I moved to the US because it is not a holiday, unlike in Germany and Nigeria.
 
Celebrating the 4th of July in the US
When the stores start filling up with items with the American flag, I am reminded that Independence Day is approaching. The traditions where people spend time with family and friends outside are awesome to see. In some cities, there are parades and more connections to the historical events around the celebrations. Interestingly, I really like the time off that happens around this time and spending time with people I like, but I rarely think about the day's symbolism.
 
Halloween in the US
Celebrating Halloween is becoming something that many countries have learned from the US. However, the way everything changes once fall sets in to remind people that Halloween is around the corner is very American. I am not too fond of scary things, so this is a holiday that I skip. As I navigate holidays as a mother, this is one where I ask myself how I can find a way for our son to participate in the kid's activities around Halloween. This year, our son's daycare is hosting a Halloween parade. I need help thinking about the costumes that he can wear. One part of Halloween that my Nigerian upbringing is stopping me from getting used to is Trick & Treat, where kids go door to door and gather candy. There is just something about accepting candy from strangers that raises alarms in my mind. I am smiling as I think about it.  

Thanksgiving in the US
Thanksgiving was a very new holiday to me when I moved to the US in 2015. It is not a holiday that is celebrated in Germany and Nigeria. Over the past years, I have been learning about the holiday and its transitions. The size of the turkey was one of the first scary things I experienced on my first thanksgiving here. There is something special about celebrating with family and friends. In our home, we celebrate thanksgiving with Chicken and a Nigerian rice dish. That is our way of combining our Nigerian heritage on this very American holiday.
 
Gifts are a huge deal for Christmas in the US
The other day, I told my husband how surprised I was that advertisements for Christmas gifts had already started in October. In the US, people really take gift-giving very seriously. I still remember my first Christmas here when we visited some extended family, and they spent considerable time exchanging gifts. My husband and I quickly decided we wanted to celebrate the season and not be caught up in the gift-buying craze in November and December.
 
Learning about other people's holidays 
One of the great benefits of being an immigrant is that we get to meet a lot of people who have cultures and religions that are different from ours. Over the years, I have learned about many cultural and religious holidays. Among the differences, there are some commonalities in how we celebrate holidays. I have found that food always plays an important role. 
 
Final Thoughts
As immigrants, we have created a great combination of the holidays we celebrate in the countries we grew up in and the new ones in the countries where we now live. The merging of cultures and traditions makes our experiences very unique. I am excited to learn more about holiday traditions from the places where I live and the people around me.

On my 21-year journey of living abroad, I have had some fun experiences. The experiences have made my journey very enjoyable and taught me many valuable lessons. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my journey would be like.
 
In this blog post, I will share ten things that have made me smile on my Relocation journey so far. Check out my other "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Meeting people from new countries and backgrounds
Moving and living in different countries has helped me meet many great people. Interestingly, after all these years, I still remember many people I met on my journey. My favorite part of meeting new people is learning about them and their cultural backgrounds. There is so much beauty in the different cultures that exist in the world. I am still learning a lot even after this long.
 
#2: Discovering new food
Growing up in Nigeria, I grew to appreciate great food. We enjoyed local Nigerian foods and some international food that made its way via expats living in Nigeria. Moving to Germany, I could enjoy some German food, taste authentic Italian food, learn about different varieties of African dishes and discover Turkish food for the first time. And then, years later, when I moved to the US, I tasted Mexican food and lots of seafood for the first time.
 
#3: Watching International sports - World cup and The Olympics
Every World Cup and Olympics brings a lot of excitement. There is something magical about seeing the countries I care about come together and cheer their teams on. I still remember watching the World Cup after moving to Germany and supporting the Nigerian Super Eagles team. Then as years passed, I started supporting Nigeria and Germany at international sports events. This year will be different as Nigeria did not qualify for the World Cup.
 
#4: Learning new languages
Speaking new languages helped me integrate into the new countries that I was living in. Life changed for the best when I could communicate with people around me. It took years for me to understand jokes in German. Once I did, I understood the culture a little bit better.
 
#5: Traveling to new countries and cities
Over the last 21 years, I have had the opportunity to visit some amazingly beautiful cities and countries. Living in Germany, many places were accessible via train, which was very convenient. Since I moved to the US, I have been fortunate to visit new countries for work, go on road trips and explore more than I did on the earlier part of my journey.
 
#6: Sharing my experiences with others
My blog started with the desire to share my story and build a community of women who support one another on their journey. It has been great to hear other people's stories of living abroad and the lessons they have learned. I celebrate every woman who has forged her path in different countries, overcome challenges, and is thriving.
 
#7: Being Inspired to do new things
One of the great things that living abroad has provided me is it has expanded my perspective. There are so many things that I never imagined experiencing and would not have if I had stayed in Nigeria. I enjoy seeing people doing extraordinary things that I aspire to do. I now know I can accomplish greatness and work towards it.
 
#8: Sharing a part of my journey with my twin sister
When my sister moved to Germany to be with me in 2003, I was over the moon. Life felt different; I had my person who would be my companion on this journey. We created a lot of great memories together and went through a lot. I can still remember the moment when we had a lot of fun and laughter. I feel very fortunate to have been able to experience a part of my journey with my twin sister.
 
#9: Discovering myself
I moved back to Germany when I was fifteen and still had much growing up. It has been fun to discover who I am and the identities that make me who I am. I feel very fortunate to get to know a lot about myself. Living abroad has given me a lot of time to shape my likes and dislikes.
 
#10: Teaching our son aspects of our culture
Lately, I have been thinking about the unique opportunity that my husband and I have as we raise our son in multiple cultures. It has been fun to start teaching him aspects of our culture and also that of the country where we live. I am looking forward to seeing the mix of beautiful cultures that he will grow up knowing.
 
Final Thoughts
Being an immigrant definitely has its ups and downs. I am very grateful for all the great experiences that have brought me joy. Celebrating these moments makes me remember them like they were yesterday.

When you ask someone where they are from or call home, you typically have some assumptions about how they might respond. One of the beauties of being an immigrant is that we get to define where our home is, and sometimes we have multiple places that we consider our home. The famous saying "home is where the heart is" has a very different meaning to me after living as an immigrant in multiple countries over 21 years.
 
In this blog post, I will share the evolution of how I think about home and the five lessons that I have learned on my journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Starting point: What does home mean to me?
Over the past 21 years of living in multiple countries and cities, I have had to redefine what home means to me. At the beginning of my time in Germany, I thought Nigeria was home. It was where I had spent my childhood, and most of my family still lived. As the years progressed and I started growing my life in Germany, I began to feel Germany was home. It was where I had spent my young adulthood and started my serious life. Then the US became home once I planted my roots and went on to have our son here. Home is wherever I live, build memories, spend time with people I love, and do things I am destined to do. 
 
Answering the question about my heritage and home
Although many of my friends also experienced this, especially living in Germany, I cannot believe that people thought it was acceptable to ask people questions about when they are returning home. There is no more effective way to let people know they are not welcome and do not belong than a question like that. Asking someone where they are from already lets them know that you think they are from a different place. I have gotten used to the questions and have educated people on alternative ways to phrase the question. However, the question of when I am going back to where I came from will never be ok. The truth is I am at home here or wherever we choose to live next.
 
Finding and building my home
When people talk about home, they associate it with a physical space. Throughout my life, I have lived in almost 20 houses. When I moved to the US was the first time that I had lived in a single place for now over seven years. If I had based my definition of home on the physical space, I would never have felt the sense of home. For me, home is more about the sense of belonging and how I feel in my heart. I have been fortunate to feel at home at various phases of my life, and I also know the feeling of not being able to belong where I am.
 
Accepting that I can have multiple places I call home
With my family living in the Bay Area, I call the US home. In addition, I still feel at home every time I visit Germany and Nigeria in different ways. All the countries that I have lived in symbolize a critical aspect of where home is for me. Nigeria gave me a lot of my cultural roots, like food, while Germany allowed me to grow into who I am today, and the US taught me to shine and be my whole self. Each of my home countries has a different meaning to me; they are all my home.
 
Creating my home wherever I am
It took me seven years of living in Germany before I started feeling at home. I had first to change my mindset about where I called home. My experiences improved significantly after I accepted Germany as my home. I started growing my network, integrating myself more into the community, and finding things that made my life in Germany fun. When I moved to the US over seven years ago, I quickly adapted to being at home in the US. One of the things that I have learned is a crucial factor in my feeling at home is food. In Germany, I was on a search to find places to get Nigerian food ingredients, and now that I am in the US, I am on a constant search for German bread. It might seem very trivial, but the food is something that helps me recreate my home where I find myself.
 
Five Lessons that I have learned about "home"
Over the past 21 years, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons that have helped me find my place and feel at home

1. Home is not limited to a physical space 
2. You get to define where you call home
3. We all have the ability to adapt to new places and call them home
4. A sense of belonging is crucial to feeling at home
5. You get to create a home for others as your family and network expands

 
Final Thoughts
The next time you think about asking someone where they are from or where they call home, remember that they belong wherever they decide to be. In our world today, people move to live in different places and build their home in whatever way they choose to. We can all help people feel a sense of belonging whenever our paths cross.

On August 9th, 2001, at age 15, I boarded a flight from Lagos, Nigeria, to Frankfurt, Germany. It was the start of my now 21-year journey of living abroad. It feels like such a huge milestone that deserves to be celebrated. My experiences over the past years have shaped who I am and changed the trajectory of my life for the better.
 
In this blog post, I will reflect on the pivotal moments in my life over the past 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
2001: Starting a new life 
Moving from Nigeria to Germany was the start of my new life. I was excited and did not know what to expect. I had visited Germany the year before I moved for a few weeks, but everything was still foreign to me. Although I was born in Germany and spoke German in my very early years, I knew nothing about what it meant to live there. And to top it all, I was moving alone without my sister or mum.
 
2002: Becoming Homeless
One of the moments that shocked my system was not having my own accommodation for over six months in Germany. Luckily I was able to sleep on my friend's couch while I saved to be able to afford my place. I was babysitting to make ends meet and needed some time to move eventually.
 
2003: New beginnings 
In early 2003, my sister moved to Germany, and we moved out into our own. I started working at my first part-time job in Germany to pay for my sister and me to live our lives. Although we didn't have enough, we were satisfied with our lives. I still remember us spending time in our tiny hostel room.
 
2004: Getting my footing
I felt like after my rocky start; I was finally making progress in my life. The first two years were spent learning German and setting the foundation to study in Germany. I was finally able to start studying for my official first degree. During my studies, I worked part-time.
 
2005: Living life as much as I could
Although things were better for me, I felt stuck. I was working part-time jobs to pay our bills and had my own small apartment, but I was not progressing in the course I was studying. I was trying everything I could to make it all work.
 
2006: Going back home
I returned to Nigeria for the first time in five years since I moved to Germany. In addition, I got to spend the summer in the UK. This led me to reevaluate where I was in life, and I decided to make a scary move. I moved from Saarbrucken, where I had lived for almost five years, to Trier. Although it was only an hour away, I left my social network behind and had to start afresh.
 
2007: Restarting my life
Moving to Trier was the 2nd time I had a fresh start in Germany. I remember sitting in my new apartment and crying. This was the loneliest I had ever felt in my life. I felt very frustrated that I had not achieved the goals that I had set even after six years in Germany. My determination to do everything I could to make progress, especially in my studies, was stronger than ever.
 
2008: Feeling a sense of normalcy and then not
After all the setbacks I had experienced, I finally felt I was making progress, but then I hit another bump in the road. I failed a class that made me have to change the course I was studying for the third time. With the learnings I gathered from the other pivots I made in my life, I could make a quick change and continue studying.
 
2009: Running to the finish line
Although I had to change my course again, this time was different; I could finally see the finish line. I had gathered enough class credits through the years and only needed a few classes to complete my degree. I am very grateful to the people who gave me the chance to complete an internship at a bank and an airline. My time there solidified my career path as a project and program manager. And to add a cherry on the top, I started a long-distance relationship with my husband.
 
2010: Graduating from university and earning my first degree
After nine years of being in Germany and seven years of studying, I finally graduated with a Bachelors degree in Business Information systems. It was a huge milestone and an achievement that I worked very hard for. After I graduated, I started my first full-time job as a project manager in a mobile agency.
 
2011: Experiencing my first medical challenge and becoming an aunt
For all my adolescent and young adult life, I experienced extreme pain during my menstrual cycles. And about 15 years later, I had to be operated on to remove multiple large fibroids. Even 11 years later, I still remember the horror on my doctor's face when she did the scans and immediately referred me to the University hospital for the operation within a week. Interestingly, one of the happiest moments in my life also happened at the time. My twin sister gave birth to my niece 11 days after my operation. In addition, my relationship was going strong, and I got to visit my now husband in the US for the first time.
 
2012: Planting the seed for my career growth
I decided to start my Masters while I worked full-time because I knew it would help me progress in my career. I was not in the financial place to pay full for my course, and I remember calling a friend to lend a part of my first tuition payment. I saved up for my upcoming payments and was able to pay my fees in full from then on. I really prioritized studying while I worked full time and made a lot of great progress.
 
2013: Finishing my masters degree
The sense of fulfillment I had when I completed my 2nd degree in record time cannot be described in words. Especially with the difficulty I faced with my first degree, it was huge to be able to get my new degree while I worked full-time successfully. I had accomplished another professional goal that I set for myself.
 
2014: Enjoying life and planning a new start
I got to go on vacation with my now husband; we spent time in Florida and on a cruise to the Bahamas. This was my first real vacation that was not centered around visiting family. I remember going back to Germany and feeling like the time had come for me to embark on my next huge adventure and move to another country.
 
2015: Moving to the US
I jumped on the opportunity to relocate to the US with the company I was working for then. This was one of the scariest moves I made and one that totally changed my life's trajectory for the best. I moved to the US in February 2015 and started my new life. Leaving Germany was harder than I thought after 14 years.
 
2016: Finding my footing in the US
Settling into my new home went very well. Having my husband, who had already mastered living in the US as an immigrant many years before me, made things easier for me. I focused on growing my career by investing in learning with classes at UC Berkeley and working with a career coach. It was clear to me that I had to learn other skills to thrive professionally in the US.  
 
2017: Living my best life 
After two years of living in the US, I was enjoying life both personally and professionally. I had the opportunity to take on a significant task at work that changed my career trajectory. Leading a Program Management Office (PMO) exposed me to people I typically would not have gotten to work with, and it also helped me develop new skills.
 
2018: Returning to Nigeria and Germany
I got to go back to Nigeria after 12 years after my last visit in 2006. We got to see family in Nigeria for a wedding and then go back to Germany for another. Going back to visit my two home countries helped me see how far I had come since I left them. Spending time with family after so many years was so much fun. I knew it was time for me to transition from my job to a new job and intensified my search. One of the challenges I had to navigate as an Immigrant working in the US was the dependency on my work visa. Things came together, and I started a new job at a great company.
 
2019: Trying to balance my success
With great success in my personal and professional life, I struggled with health issues while trying to find my place at a new company. One thing I had learned from the 18 years of living abroad was that I had to be in a place where my contribution was valued, and I could grow. Barely six months into being at this new company, I started looking for a new role. About another five months later, I found a position that aligned with my life's mission, and things started falling into place.
 
2020: Becoming a mother
Interestingly, 2020 was one of the most chaotic years in many of our lives. I found out I was pregnant in early March when the world started falling apart with the global pandemic. In October, our son was born, and my life changed forever. My journey to motherhood was smoother than I expected. I thought it would be more complicated due to the health challenges I had experienced nine years earlier. I am more than thankful for the opportunity to raise our son.
 
2021: Integrating motherhood and my career
When I got back from my maternity leave in February 2021, I was on fire. My desire to be a great mom and have a successful career was strong. I was doing a job that I enjoyed and was determined to continue growing. I had to learn how to integrate being a mother and thriving professionally. There were many ups and downs on the way. Thankfully the ups outweighed the downs.
 
2022: Living my best life
In my 21st year of living abroad, I am at a place where everything has come together nicely in my personal and professional life. There are still lessons that I learn and situations that I do not expect. However, I know that this is where I am destined to be. I have a great family, an amazing job, a sense of purpose, and amazing people around me.
 
Final Thoughts
Reflecting on my journey over the 21 years makes me very proud and appreciative of how far I have come. There have been many complex challenges that I faced and so many great moments that I have experienced. I am very excited to see what other countries I get to live in and where I will be in another 21 years.
 
Pictures speak louder than words - 21 years of my life

In the 21 years that I have lived abroad, I had a mix of experiences. Some of them were good while others were not so cool. However, overall my journey has been amazing. There are many moments that I am proud of and still amazed at how my life has tuned out. I never imagined that I would be where I am today.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that I am proud of accomplishing in 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Becoming independent
At the young age of 15, I moved from Nigeria to Germany. It was the official start of me having to fend for myself and make critical decisions. I felt so grown-up back then, and now when I think back, I realize how young I really was. Being so young and figuring out my life is something that makes me very proud.
 
#2: Paying for my way through school
I will forever be grateful to all the families that allowed me to care for their children. The money I made from babysitting, working in cafes, and on-campus helped pay for my life as a student. I know it's a big deal that I was able to support myself and my sister financially.
 
#3: Earning my first and second degree
If you had followed my story, you would know that it took me longer than expected to get my first degree. I changed my under-grad course twice, and it took me about seven years to finally get my Bachelors degree. That did not stop me from going ahead to start my Masters. I decided to study part-time while I worked my full-time job. Finishing my Masters degree in the planned time is something I am very proud of.
 
#4: Getting my German passport
One of the most complex parts of being an immigrant is securing a visa or legal stay approval. For ten years of living in Germany, I was on a visa that granted me a short time stay of six months. This was a very stressful process, and I felt really relieved when I was finally eligible to apply for a German passport. The truth is that traveling and living in other countries became much more accessible than when I only had a Nigerian passport.
 
#5: Building my family and home
My family is one of my biggest accomplishments in life. I have people that I love and get to spend my life with. In addition, finding a place where I really feel at home was not always easy. I am proud of the fact that I have been able to have my family, find my place, and be settled now.
 
#6: Being able to give back 
I feel very fortunate to be able to meet my own needs and support people around me. Years ago, I was struggling to afford my basic needs. Being financially stable was the first step, and then I was able to start building wealth that helped me afford to invest in my loved ones' lives as well.
 
#7: Following my passions
In the early days of my journey, I focused more on surviving and didn't have much time to invest in my passion projects. The truth is that I didn't know what I was passionate about. In recent years, I have been able to spend more time doing things that I really enjoy. My blog is one of the things that I have always wanted to do, and I have finally gotten to do it.
 
#8: Having a successful career
I started as a babysitter and worked many minimum wage jobs to pay my way through college. After graduating, I started building my career as a project manager from scratch. I did not have the access or network that some of my peers did. It took a lot of hard work to achieve the professional success that I have experienced so far.
 
#9: Finding happiness in life
On my journey living abroad, I have experienced a lot of ups and downs. It took me a long time to get to a place where I was genuinely happy. I am now at a place in my life where I feel satisfied and excited for the future.
 
#10: Staying true to who I am
As an immigrant, your identity is a complex topic to navigate. I have lived in many countries and have been influenced by many life experiences. I now know who I am and am confident in what I can offer the world.
 
Final Thoughts
Reflecting on the past 21 years, I am very grateful for how far I have come. Although the first years were very rocky, I am where I was destined to be. All my experiences made me who I am today.

Over my lifetime, I have had the privilege of living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Twenty-one years ago, when I moved to Germany and started my experience as an immigrant, I had no idea where I would be. My journey has had many highs and lows. I know for certain that this is the life I was meant to be living and would not change it for anything.
 
In this blog post, I will share five ways being an immigrant impacted my life. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Allowed me to see more of the world
Since I left Nigeria in 2001, I have been fortunate to visit ten countries on four continents. Growing up in Kaduna, a city in northern Nigeria, everything that I knew about the world was what I saw on TV. Seeing the world's beauty, learning about new cultures, and eating good food has made my journey amazing. I am looking forward to other countries that I will get to see over the next years.
 
Made me independent and taught me to work for what I want
Leaving home at the age of 15, I had to grow up very quickly and make decisions independently. I learned a lot by being brave and learning from my mistakes. My upbringing prepared me a little for the challenges I faced. When I hear people talk about things they inherited or have gotten without working for, I wonder what it feels like. Over the years, I have had to work very hard to get financial stability, achieve professional success, and live my life. I now know that if I want something, I can work towards it, and I do not need to wait for someone to make it possible for me.
 
Helped me own my identity
My cultural identity was something I was unsure of growing up in Nigeria. I was born in Germany to a Nigerian single mother, spent my childhood in Nigeria, and moved to Germany when I was 15. Not knowing my German roots always raised questions in my childhood. When I moved to Germany, I embraced my Nigerian identity, especially the food. Years later, when I moved to the US, I celebrated my German culture. I can now confidently say that I am German-Nigerian.
 
Taught me how to adapt to change
When I was younger, my response to the question about what one of my weaknesses was to say that I was scared of change. After 21 years of constant change, I now know that I am very resilient and adapt very well to new situations. I have lost count of the number of times that things changed in my life. I have experienced multiple transitions from moving to new homes, changing jobs, meeting new people, and settling into new countries. I have become very used to change and no longer fear the impact of life changes.
 
Changed the trajectory of my life 
Looking back on my childhood and humble beginnings, life was very different from how things are now. Being an immigrant has given me the greatest life that I could never have imagined I would have. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I did not leave Nigeria to start a new life in Germany and then also when I moved to the US years later. The last 21 years have made me my best self.
 
Final Thoughts
There are many aspects of my journey that I have taken for granted. Reflecting on the ways my life has changed reminded me of how strong all my experiences have made me.

Over the last 21 years, I have had many experiences as an immigrant in Germany and the US. I recently talked with someone who had immigrated to the US, and we shared our common experiences. It is amazing to see how many things we have in common because we have lived in a different country than the ones we were born in.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that are part of my life as an Immigrant and how I handle them. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Being affected by unrest in the world
With everything going on around the world, my heart goes out to people who are affected in the regions and those in the diaspora who are watching from afar. With every news story about bad things happening, it feels very personal. I know how it feels to worry about peace in the world and the impact on people you know.
 
How do I handle it?

• I remind myself to continue having hope for a more peaceful world

 
Missing key family milestones
Our family recently grew by one member, and I could not be there in person. Recently, I recalled how many family celebrations I have had to watch from afar. I have gotten used to being too far away to celebrate key milestones with my extended family.
 
How do I handle it?

• Virtual communication tools have helped us stay connected through life events

 
Not understanding the jokes and references
Whenever someone uses a cultural or historical reference that I do not understand, I am reminded that I am an immigrant. There are many things that people ask me about Nigeria, Germany, or the US that I do not know. Every day, someone mentions something about the country I am in that is new to me.
 
How do I handle it?

• I am honest about things that I do not know, accept them, stay curious and learn new things

 
Missing some of your favorite food
If you read my blogs, you know how much I miss German bread. Someone talked about bread at a gathering that I was visiting lately, and I was already excited about eating great bread. When I moved to Germany, I still remember that I did not know where to find ingredients to make Nigerian food. We have definitely come a long way with the availability of food items from different countries.
 
How do I handle it?

• I go out of my way to find food that connects me to my home countries

 
Getting a visa and other immigration documents
Sitting in the offices of the immigration officers who get to decide if you can stay in a country, is a very humbling experience. No matter how many times you have been in that situation, there is always a small thought in your mind wondering if this is the time you get denied a stay in a country and would have to leave.
 
How do I handle it?

• I always have my immigration papers in order and educate myself on the rules

 
Being asked where you are from
Interestingly the question I get asked the most is, "where are you from." I have gotten very used to the question and know how to distinguish the intent behind the question. Most of the time, people are curious because they hear a different accent when I talk, and other times people want to make me feel like I don't belong. Fortunately, I have received more of the questions asked with positive intent.
 
How do I handle it?

• I enjoy sharing my story with people who are truly curious and interested

 
Disconnecting from your social network
Every time I talk to someone who grew up on the same city or country that they currently live in, I wonder what it is like. I have lived in 3 countries and many different cities, which has made me lose touch with the people I spent some time with. Social media has helped me keep in touch with some people I grew up with, but the connection is certainly not the same.
 
How do I handle it?

• I stay in contact with my small circle of friends

 
Having to create a new home often
One of the advantages of being an immigrant and living in different places is that you develop the skills to create a home where you find yourself. Over the years, I have learned not to be attached to a physical location and to find happiness wherever I am. When I moved to the US, I was able to leverage the lessons I learned living in Germany. And now, I have built home my own little family.
 
How do I handle it?

• I strive to make myself comfortable where I am at all times

 
Not having some privileges or access to resources
When I was studying in Germany, I wished that I had access to other students' financial resources. It would have made my life much easier. There is a long list of other privileges that Immigrants do not know about or have access to.
 
How do I handle it?

• I have learned to accept that there are things I do not have access to

 
Understanding the experiences of other Immigrants
There is something very powerful about being different and having experienced being the "only" or a minority. It makes you more sensitive to the experiences of others whose lives are different from majority groups. Honestly, being an immigrant has made me kinder and more respectful of people.
 
How do I handle it?

• I am curious to learn more about others

 
Final Thoughts
My experiences as an immigrant have made me a better human. I am very grateful to everyone on my journey that has been my companion. I am living the amazing life that I want to be living.

My life experiences living in multiple countries have shaped me significantly. Over the past months, I have reflected on my amazing journey over the past 21 years. It has been very empowering to remember all that I have been through, my accomplishments, the amazing relationships, and the places I have been.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
First trip to Nigeria
In 2006, my sister and I traveled back to Nigeria to see our mom. It had been five tough years of living and surviving in Germany. I worked hard to save the money for our tickets and still remember the excitement we felt as we packed our bags. Interestingly, my memories are mostly centered around the people we spent time with when we returned to Kaduna, the city we grew up in. I still remember sitting with our Grandma, who was very surprised and happy to see us. We also spent some valuable time with some of our childhood friends. When we were living, I was hoping we would visit more often.
 
What did I learn? 

• The people in our lives are a gift

 
A summer to remember
I spent the summer of 2006 in England as a nanny for a family I met in my first year in Germany. After a few months of living in Germany, I met the mom on a train ride, and we bonded immediately. Having a friend who spoke English was special. Once she had her daughter, I babysat her before they moved back to the UK. This was actually the first income that I made in Germany. Fast-forward to when I spent the summer with them in Northern England years later. Taking care of a five-year-old over the summer was a lot of fun. However, I had no idea what the time away from Germany would do to me. This was the first time I re-evaluated where I was in life, and I realized I had to make some changes.
 
What did I learn?

• To gain perspective, you sometimes have to leave your "normal" life and space 

 
Trying times
When I returned to Germany from Nigeria and England in 2006, things started unraveling very quickly. I knew that I had to make some tough choices. The first choice I made was to change the university course I was studying, which meant I had to move to a new city. I had an immense feeling of failure that stemmed from the fact that I expected to have completed my studies after being in Germany for six years, but I was far from it. Looking back, that was one of the pivotal moments that changed the trajectory of my life for good.
 
What did I learn?

• Do what you need to do for yourself even when you are scared of what the future holds 

 
A year of significant changes
One common theme was between my sixth year living in Germany and the US. In 2006, I made the major decision to change my university course and move to a new city. In 2020, the world was changed by a global pandemic, and my life was changed as I became a first-time mom. While the changes in both years were significant, I was in a much better place in 2020. The main difference was that I was surrounded with love, financially and professionally stable. That made my experience with significant change more pleasant.
 
What did I learn?

• Changes in life are required to make progress

 
Living through chaos
Going through the first year of a global pandemic meant that we were mostly at home. I was very grateful that I was in a place where I was comfortable and could continue living my life with all the chaos happening in the world. It made me reflect on other phases of my life where I felt uncomfortable in my skin and home. Another great thing in my life was that I was in a very happy relationship which made the time at home enjoyable.
 
What did I learn?

• Being in a safe and loving home makes a huge difference

 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The person I was in 2006 was very different from who I was in 2020. However, my journey had a similar theme; I was going through many life changes. In 2006, I had hit a "wall" and was not making progress. Compared to 2020, I was progressing and entering an amazing phase in life. As I wrote this post, I was overcome with gratitude for how far I have come on my relocation journey.

This year marks 21 years of my living in different countries. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could never have imagined that I would be living in the US. Over the past seven years since I moved here, my life has changed in many ways, and I am enjoying it a lot. I am very grateful for my experiences on this incredible journey.
 
In this blog post, I will reflect on my seventh year in the US. This is part of my "Her Relocation" series, where I talk about my experience living in multiple countries over the past 20 years. Check out my previous posts about My Life in the US - Year 1, Year 2&3, Year 4, Year 5, and Year 6.
 
Enjoying California 
We took our first vacation as a family of three, and it was one of the best experiences in my life. It was the first time I really enjoyed California and its beauty after seven years of living here. I have been on short trips to different cities, but this time it was different. The scenes driving down the pacific coast highway are the most beautiful ones I have seen in my life. We took our time, soaked up the sun, had good food, and bonded as a family. It was very important to me to start this new family tradition with our son, and I loved it.
 
Missing my people 
This year more than ever, I missed my social network that is made up of family and close friends. The great people and connections that I have made have been one of the pillars of my life abroad. Being in the second year of a global pandemic made traveling to see family impossible. We kept waiting for things to get better so our son could finally meet our family and close friends in person. I am confident that we will be reunited with our people very soon.
 
Experience with Immigration services
There are times when I become very aware of my status as an immigrant. One of those moments is when I need to do anything regarding my visa or passport. This year, I had to extend my US green card and get a new German passport. It was the first time I needed to renew my passport outside Germany, and it went very smoothly. I really appreciated the German efficiency a lot. However, when it came to extending my green card, it was another story. The process is not transparent and long. I am still in the process of getting an extension even after six months. As I say that, I know of people who have been waiting much longer and appreciate my privilege of still having my legal residence status.
 
Scary Political situations 
So far in my relocation journey, I had never seen anything like what happened at the US capitol on Jan 6. Interestingly, I was napping with my almost 3-month-old baby at that point, and when I woke up, I started following the events on TV. I sat there, totally surprised by what was happening. I moved to the US at a very interesting time and political climate. The events of that day were very scary and intensified the underlying concern I had with what was happening politically in the US since I moved here in 2015. Every day I hope for the best and acknowledge that this is a very complicated country with a lot of history.
 
Access to healthcare 
One of my concerns about moving to the US was access to healthcare. I had heard of many horror stories, and then when the pandemic started in 2020, the US was not handling it very well. There were so many things that were not going right, from testing to containing the spread of the virus. When the vaccines became available, I was worried that it would be very complicated to get access. However, to my surprise, when the time came for vaccines to be made available, everything went smoothly. I really appreciate the access to free vaccines that some people don't have.
 
Celebrating 20 years of living abroad  
Thinking back on my journey, I am very proud of where I am today. My experiences living in Germany and the US have shaped who I am today. I have had some difficult times when I could never have imagined the life I have now. I have met great people, visited places, learned a lot of lessons, and become who I was always destined to be. I am very excited for the years ahead, the countries I will have the opportunity to live in, and my experiences.
 
Final Thoughts - 10 Lessons I learned
In the seventh year of my life in the US, I learned a lot of great lessons, including the following:

1. Enjoy your life: there are a lot of great things happening in our lives
2. Create memories: enjoy the amazing moments
3. Keep working towards your goals: achieve greatness
4. Accept what you can't control: know when to move on 
5. Build deep connections: value the relationships you have
6. Adjust to change: learn and grow from what life will throw things your way
7. Explore new things: discover things that you have not before
8. Guard your mind: be thoughtful about what you let influence you 
9. Celebrate your accomplishments: look back on the great things in your life
10. Prioritize yourself: you are worth being cared for!

Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story. Comparing the fourth year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2004 versus where I was in 2018. These were very different years, one filled with the feeling of being lost, and the other was making bold moves while living out my dreams.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Getting out and seeing things differently
In 2004, my sister and I left Germany for the first time after living there for almost three years. We spent the summer in London caring for six children who were on vacation. When I think back on my journey, that trip was a turning point for me. I needed to be in a different place away from my life. Having candid conversations with people who knew me during my childhood about where I was in my life was special. We also had the opportunity to travel to have some fun when we visited Disneyland in France on the hottest days I have experienced.
 
What did I learn?

• Sometimes you need to leave your space to gain a different perspective

 
Going back to Nigeria
Visiting Nigeria in 2018 for the first time in 12 years was spectacular. I was a very different person and had been through a lot since I visited the last time. Eating some great Nigerian food was one of my highlights. I got to eat things that I had missed being away from Nigeria for so long. So many things reminded me of my childhood and the great memories I had. The sounds and the scents took me back many years.
 
What did I learn?

• Enjoy things that brought you joy in the past

 
Traveling back to my other home country
After living in the US for over three years, I finally went back to Germany for a family celebration. Going back to the city of Saarbrucken, where I spent the early years of my time in Germany, was phenomenal. A lot had changed in my life between when I lived there and my visit in 2018. I enjoyed shopping at my local ALDI grocery store, driving past some of the places I lived, going to the restaurants I ate at, and seeing people who were part of my life.
 
What did I learn?

• Going back to where your journey started will help you see how far you have come

 
Accomplishing things I never thought I would
There are some places in life that I could never imagine myself being. In 2018, my life changed in a significant way when I started a new job. I had been planning a professional move for a few years and was extremely surprised when it finally happened. The person I was in 2004 had no idea where I would be 14 years later. I wish I knew everything would work out better than I could have ever imagined.
 
What did I learn?

• Don't limit yourself and your dreams

 
Having a companion on my journey
My sister was my companion for the early part of my journey living abroad. In 2004, we were living together and struggling to settle into our lives in Germany. Fast forward to 2018, living with my husband in the US. Thinking back on my journey, my twin sister and husband have been very instrumental and have supported me in many ways. I am very grateful that I did not have to go through all my experiences together.
 
What did I learn?

• Lean on your companions on your journey

 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The person that I was in 2004 was very different than who I was in 2018. In 2004, I did not know where I wanted to go in my life and felt very lost. Compared to 2018, I lived the life I wanted and enjoyed the fruit of my hard work. If my younger self knew that everything would be awesome, and I will be happy. 

​This week, I will be continuing my 20th-anniversary celebration by sharing moments that changed my life forever. On my journey so far, there have been those times when I did not know how much the decisions I made will impact my life in a good way. When I reflect on my journey, I know there were many opportunities for things to go really wrong, but they did not.
 
In this blog post, I will share the top 10 defining moments on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Being Evicted and living on people's couches
Coming home and seeing my belonging outside the door of the house that I had lived in for almost a year in Germany is one memory that I will never forget. I feel like this was the real beginning of my journey surviving all by myself.
 
How did my life change?

• Although things went very differently than I planned, it was the beginning of my independence at the age of 16.

 
#2: When my sister moved to Germany
My sister moved to Germany about 17 months after I moved there. Her arrival was at a time where I was struggling and had no home of my own. Some things happen in life that motivate you to make bold moves, and this was one of them Together, we faced all the challenges and built memories for life.
 
How did my life change?

• Feeling responsible for someone else motivated me to go out and work hard so we could take care of ourselves

 
#3: Moving into our first apartment
My sister and I shared a tiny room in a hostel on campus. Having our own space felt like the best thing ever. Interestingly this was the first place I felt at home after living in Germany for almost two years. I had stayed in places where I went to sleep but did not feel at home. The feeling of being at home is one that I really value.
 
How did my life change?

• Living on our own for the first time helped us learn valuable homemaking skills

 
#4: Deciding to change my University  course
I had spent three years struggling to complete the first degree I started, and it was not working out. In my life, quitting was one thing I had not done often. I had been trained that if you work harder, you can do everything. However, in this case, I needed to change and do something else.
 
How did my life change?

• Accepting that failing at one thing did not make me a failure helped me become brave

 
#5: Getting my first job
After I graduated and earned my Bachelor's degree, I had one year to find a job before losing my visa to stay in Germany. It was a lot of pressure because I did not want to lose everything after fighting for nine years. I still remember applying for so many jobs and getting rejections. Finally, I got invited to three job interviews and was hoping to get one. Finally, I got the call. I remember how nervous I was on my first day.
 
How did my life change?

• Earning more money meant I could do more of the things that I wanted to

 
#6: Earning my Masters degree
After struggling so much to graduate from my first degree, I never thought that less than a year after graduating, I would decide to start my Masters. I still remember finding the university and the course I wanted to study. It was important for me to continue setting myself apart by gaining more knowledge and getting the official degree. On my professional journey so far, my degree has helped open doors.
 
How did my life change?

• The process of getting my post-graduate degree reminded me that I could learn and it set me apart.
  

 
#7: Moving to the US
When I think back to the timing of my relocation to the US, it was not perfect at all. Given where I was in my life, I knew that even though the circumstances were not optimal, it was time for me to move. My move was the beginning of many great things for me. I was moving to another country to be with my special man with a good job. It was one of the best moves I made in my life.
 
How did my life change?

• Gaining more financial stability had enabled me to do more in my life

 
#8: Starting to tell my story
In 2017, I found myself in social situations where I could share more about myself. Until this point, I did not think a lot about my journey or even talk about my life so far. Someone said something I would never forget. She told me she thought I had a unique story to tell. Not only did I start talking about my story more, but I also launched my blog in January 2018. I have taken every opportunity that I am given to tell my story.
 
How did my life change?

• Telling my story helps me see how far I have come
  

 
#9: Finding my passion Job
After working for over 18 years now, from my mini-jobs to internships through full-time positions, I now know what I want to be doing. Helping people be their best selves is something that I enjoy doing. I used to have to do a lot of fulfilling work outside of my full-time job. In the last two years, I have been able to work on programs that align more with my strengths and passion.
 
How did my life change?

• Working in a space that you are passionate about makes it worth it

​
#10: Living during a global pandemic
The last 18 months have been a very interesting time. My story living abroad will not be complete without mentioning this pivotal time in our lives. The pandemic limited our ability to move around and helped me build deeper roots in my current city.
 
How did my life change?

• Learning to appreciate the beauty of where we live now.

 
Final Thoughts
As I reflect on my journey, there are so many moments that have made it amazing.  I cannot imagine how different my life would have been if I made other choices.

After living in Germany and the US for 20 years, I experienced many things that no one warned me about. When people talk about living abroad, there is a lot that they do not share. If we shared more with each other, we would be better prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly experiences.
 
In this blog post, I will share ten things I wish someone told me I would experience on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Food will be a very important part of your life
Over the years, food has become a crucial part of my experience. I find that I stay connected to Nigeria and Germany through the food I cook or crave. Over my years in Germany, I seriously sought out stores that sold Nigerian food ingredients. Back in the day, things were very expensive and scarce. However, I knew that eating some foods that I grew up with will give me some joy. Since I moved to the US over six years ago, I have been looking for bread that tastes like the amazing bread that I enjoyed in Germany.
 
#2: Home is wherever you want it to be
I wish someone would have told me that home is not a physical place or country; it is in the heart. This might sound cliché, but my life got much better when I stopped wishing I could go home. I accepted that I was already home wherever I was. I had been planning my exit from Germany for over seven years, and then I decided to start enjoying my life there. It really helped me to focus on building an amazing life there. My transition to the US was much easier because I knew I could create a home wherever I find myself.
 
#3: You will be lonely sometimes and learn to enjoy your own company
In my past posts, I shared my experience being away from all my family living in Germany. It was hard in the beginning because I had never been away from my twin sister. I had to learn to enjoy being on my own and find things that make me happy. After spending so many holidays alone, I started creating my own traditions and no longer dread them. Being alone is no longer something that I am afraid of.
 
#4: Measurement systems differ
This is very particular to living in the US, where the imperial measurement system is used compared to the metric system in all the other countries, I have lived in. I really do not understand why the US uses a different system. Even after six years living here, I still convert the temperature from Fahrenheit to Celsius when I watch the weather. No one told me that measurement norms will complicate my life. 
 
#5: Financial standards differ
When I moved to the US from Germany, I learned the concept of credit score. All my life in Germany and Nigeria, I never had a credit card. I had grown very scared of getting into debt. Then I moved to the US where I had to build my credit and was advised to buy everything with my credit card. It took me a long time to get used to it, and till today, I pay off my credit card very regularly because I do not want any issues. 
 
#6: Your cultural identity will change
How I identify culturally has changed a lot as I have lived in different countries. When I was living in Germany, I felt very Nigerian and identified fully with how I had grown up. Then I moved to the US and noticed that I felt both Nigerian and German. It took me a while to get comfortable with my cultural identity changing. Now I can comfortably say that my food culture is Nigerian and professional culture in German.
 
#7: You will become stronger and resilient
With all the difficulties that I had faced on my journey, the good that has come from it is that I am stronger. My ability to handle stressful situations has been tested over time. I have learned to bounce back from setbacks and continue with my life. As a result of all my experiences, I am stronger and more resilient. 
 
#8: There will be many amazing people on your journey
Over the past 20 years, I have met a lot of amazing people and built great relationships. The people on my journey have been one of the best parts of my journey. Although my circles are small, they have contributed to my life in many ways.
 
#9: You will get comfortable with the unknown and get excited by new things
In the past, when I was asked what my weakness was, I said I struggled with change. This is definitely not true anymore. I look forward to doing new things and exploring different opportunities. Moving to new cities and countries taught me to face unknown situations over and over again. Embracing the new with optimism is a skill that I apply in my everyday life.
 
#10: You will have many amazing memories
As I have reflected on my journey, I am reminded of so many happy moments. There has been a lot of laughter and celebrating our accomplishments. I wish I could have captured all the happy moments. My journey has been amazing and rewarding.
 
Final Thoughts
Telling my story on my blogs has enabled me to share my experiences with others. I really hope that through telling my story, I can help people anticipate what they may experience and validate people's experiences. We are all on this journey together. ​

On my 20-year relocation Journey, I have experienced a lot of highs and lows. As I reflect on the negative experiences, I am reminded of how much I learned from them.

In this blog post, I will share the lowlights on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.

Taking longer to get my first degree
When I moved to Germany, I expected to earn my Engineering degree within five years. I could never have imagined how difficult it would be for me. The first course I started studying did not fit my strengths at all. I tried everything I could to make it work, although I knew I was failing. The thought of quitting and doing something else did not seem like an option for me. It took me three years before I decided to apply to a new university and study a new course. My second course was more aligned with my strengths. However, when I faced some challenges, I knew how to pivot and make changes. I finished the third course much faster and finally graduated with my Bachelor of Science degree. And a few years later, I earned my Masters degree.

What did I learn?

• Know when it is time to make a change or pivot and do something else

Working multiple odd jobs
The number of different jobs I did is astonishing. I was a babysitter for multiple families, worked on Campus, at Subway and, in multiple cafes to be able to pay my way through college. Thinking back, it was difficult having to work multiple jobs at once to earn enough money. There were times when I wished I didn't have to work so much and could focus on school more. Not only was juggling multiple low-paying jobs hard, but it was also taking me away from my primary goal, which was to complete my degree. Although it wasn't always fun, I gained many skills.

What did I learn?

• There are applied skills that you can leverage from other jobs

Having Financial Issues
For the longest time, I was worried about not being able to pay my bills. I still remember the only time in my life that I overdraft my bank account by eighteen euros to buy necessities and received a letter from a collection company. I had just moved to a new city and was trying to settle in. The stress I felt was immense. Having to worry about money was a theme of the first ten years of my 20-year journey. I almost left Germany because I was tired of working so hard but still lacking essential things. I promised myself that I would never let myself get back to that place after I started being more comfortable financially.

What did I learn?

• Budgeting and building your savings are fundamental pillars of financial wellbeing

Feeling lonely and isolated
In August 2001, when I moved to Germany, it was a very nice summer. However, the fall and winter months came very quickly, and I was stuck indoors most of the time. At this time, I could not speak German and had not yet made any friends. I can still remember how lonely I felt being away from my twin sister, mum, and friends in Nigeria. The feeling of loneliness lasted for a while until I moved to stay with a friend and then my sister moved to Germany in 2003. Every time I moved to a new city, I had to recreate my social circle and felt lonely for a while. As I moved to new cities and countries, I got better at building connections faster, which helped me feel less isolated.

What did I learn?

• Build your social network early and maintain it over time

Surviving bad relationships & friendships
I moved to Germany at a very formative time in my life. My experiences with having relationships started after a few years of being in Germany. In the beginning, it was a lot of trial and error. Growing up, I did not have a lot of positive role models who were in relationships or married. As I navigated the waters of relationships, I had some bad ones that caused emotional pain. Interestingly, there were also friendships that I had to let go of because they did not bring me joy, and I felt I was giving too much of myself.

What did I learn?

• Choose who you spend time with carefully

Missing key family milestones and celebrations
Being far away from home, I missed key milestones like births, deaths, graduations, birthdays. I still remember crying when I celebrated my first birthday away from my Twin. We had never celebrated any birthday away from each other since we were born. In addition, I celebrated my first Christmas alone. I missed a lot of the holiday traditions that I grew up with. Spending Christmas with my cousins and enjoying great food was a thing of the past.

What did I learn?

• Explore other ways to celebrate people even if you are not physically there and start your own holiday traditions

Having Health challenges
On New Year’s Eve in 2005, I went to the Emergency Room after being in so much pain all day. I have high pain tolerance, but this time it was different. I still remember seeing the fireworks on the bus on our way to the ER. At that point, I had no idea that the pain was caused by fibroids. I had endured severe pain for the major part of my life and did not know that it was not normal. Fast forward to 2011, I had to have a myomectomy to remove the fibroids. This was the first major surgery that I had in my life, and I was going through it alone. My sister was heavily pregnant at this time, living in a different city and could not be with me physically. I had the surgery and had a 6-week recovery time at home. Interestingly during this time, my niece was born, and I finally got my German passport.

What did I learn?

• Take care of your body and see professionals if you do not feel well

Feeling stuck at work
With the amazing success that I had in my career especially in recent years, also came some negative experiences. In 2017, I spent a lot of time away from home, traveling for work. I was caught between enjoying the work I was doing but not feeling recognized. A year earlier, I had worked with a career coach and was more aware of my professional goals. After being passed up for a promotion that I had worked very hard for, I knew it was time for me to leave my job. It was a complex decision because my visa at that time in the US was tied to my job. This led to me feeling very stuck.

What did I learn?

• Set professional goals and ask for what you want at

Facing Immigration challenges
As an immigrant, your ability to stay in a country is determined by someone in the immigration office. I still remember how nervous I felt every time I had to extend my visas. I was very aware that one person could decide not to extend my visa and change the course of my life. In Germany, there were requirements that I knew I had to meet to stay there. Meeting the financial requirements was one that I struggled with. At that time, you had to show that you had 400 Euros in your account every month and will not be dependent on any financial support programs. Thankfully, I was able to make it work, and my visas were extended. Fast-forward to moving to the US where my immigration status was different, I still faced some minor challenges. Although I met all the requirements, the process was less transparent and took much longer. After going through multiple immigration status changes, I still get nervous and ensure that I meet all the requirements.

What did I learn?

• Educate yourself about the laws and requirements that you need to abide by

Feeling like I do not belong
The sense of belonging has been one major lowlight of my journey so far that has been a constant throughout. I have learned to do things that help me feel like I belong when I start feeling otherwise. For the first seven years in Germany, I could not wait to leave. Random people would ask me when I was going home and that was a steady reminder that Germany was not my home. I was mentally counting down to when I will get my degree and go back to Nigeria. After realizing that it would take me a little longer, I decided to start settling in and enjoy my life in Germany. It took me a few more years of learning what makes me feel like I belong. I stopped planning my escape and started building my home. This mindset had helped me feel at home in the US when I moved here.

What did I learn?

• Make yourself feel at home no matter where you are

Final Thoughts
The negative experiences that I went through over the past 20 years shaped my journey and taught me many valuable lessons. Although I never want to experience the hardships again, I can now see the lessons I learned in the process.

​A Snapshot of My Story

Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story, comparing the third year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. I am reflecting on my life in 2003 versus where I was in 2017. These were vastly different years; one filled with struggles and the other was reaping the benefits of my hard work.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Having family around
After almost two years alone, it was a blessing to have family in Germany finally. I can still remember when I heard my sister arrived and I could not wait to see her. Sadly, I was struggling and did not have a stable place to live when she moved. We quickly had to find a place to stay and start making a living. Having her there with me made me happy, but it also put a lot of responsibility on me for taking care of both of us. On the other hand, when I moved to the US, I started life immediately with my husband and had a companion throughout my life here.
 
What did I learn?

• Make the best of the small that you have and build memories

 
A place I call home
After my sister joined me in Germany, we started living in a tiny room on the University campus. It was in a hostel where we shared some common spaces with about 20 people. I remember watching TV shows in the TV room with other residents in the hostel. Compared to my life in the US, I got to move into a very comfortable home from Day 1. Interestingly when I think about how important a home is to me, it is because I have not always had a place to call home.
 
What did I learn?

• Create a space for yourself where you can rest and regenerate

 
The people who contributed to my life when I was in need
Telling my story would not be complete without me mentioning the amazing people who contributed to my life. In 2003, my sister and I were surviving on my small earnings from a part-time job that I was doing. We were incredibly good with our money and only got what we needed to live. We could not afford any luxuries, and we accepted that. So, you can imagine how special it was when one of our friends gave us a significant gift. She gave us a five-kilo bag of basmati rice. It might sound small, but at that phase of our lives, it was a lot. I will never forget how excited we were to enjoy a different type of rice. Living in the US, I luckily was not in need, but I got to give to others.
 
What did I learn?

• If you can, give someone a gift. You don't know how much they need it

 
Living a good life and excelling at work
In my third year in the US, I was living a life that I could never have imagined in my third year in Germany. I had settled into my new life and had the opportunity to take on a new role at work. The new position allowed me to travel more and do great work. I got to see other countries like Italy, India and visit other cities in the US. I was in a place in my life that I never thought I will ever be in my private life and my career. Living through some of the struggles in my third year in Germany prepared me for the amazing life that I got to live.
 
What did I learn?

• Be bold and take on those new opportunities

 
Preparing for the next phase
Both 2003 and 2017 were transition years for me. In 2003, I was transitioning to standing on my feet in Germany. I had to make a lot of decisions on how I would earn money while I advanced my studies towards my first degree. 2017, on the other hand, was a year when I decided it was time for me to leave my job at a company that I had worked at for almost eight years of my life. Strangely, I was planning the transition at one of the peaks of my experience. My motto was to leave while I was at the top. 
 
What did I learn?

• Transitions and change are crucial to growing in your life

 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The first picture is of me in 2003 in Germany, and the other picture was in 2017. The person that I was in 2003 was vastly different than who I was in 2017. I was really struggling in 2003, but my mindset was that I would do whatever I could to improve my life. My fighter spirit was activated and defined how I approached life. And in 2017, I had to learn when it is time to leave my comfort zone and do something greater.

I am continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story, comparing the second year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2002 versus where I was in 2016, reminds me of how vastly different my life was.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and what I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Having a stable home
One part of my journey that I never talk about is that I did not have a stable place to live in my second year in Germany due to some situations. I stayed on people's couches for about eight months. I am incredibly grateful to the people that gave me a place to live during those times. Interestingly, while I went through that experience, I did not think about it too much. I focused more on studying German and working as a babysitter to save up for my own place. Compared to my life in the US, I have been living in an amazing home since I moved here. The stability I had in my second year in the US, I would have wished I had in the early days of my life in Germany as well.
 
What did I learn?

• Having your own space and home is essential for your overall well-being
  

 
Politics influencing my life
When I moved to the US in 2015, I had no idea how politics and the government will influence my life. The 2016 elections in the US affected me more than I would have ever expected. As an immigrant living in the US, I worried about the policies that will affect my stay here. Also, the rhetoric against immigrants made me wonder if I had made the right decision moving here. While I lived in Germany, I had the privilege of not worrying a lot about who was in government, as most of the policies were fair or did not negatively affect me.
 
What did I learn?

• Acknowledge the privilege that you have and do not take things for granted

 
Thoughts about my future
Especially in year two in Germany, I felt slightly hopeless when I thought about the future. I found myself struggling to build a stable foundation and had no idea what my future in Germany would look like. I was naïve before I moved and expected things to fall into place quite quickly. I did not consider that I was moving to a country where I did not speak the language, knew nothing about the culture, and did not have a social network. When I moved to the US, I was more hopeful and had better prospects for my future.
 
What did I learn?

• Keep on going even when you cannot clearly envision the future

 
Making Unexpected connections
During my second year in Germany, I met people who supported me through difficult times on a train, bus, or at the station. These included the woman who gave me my first babysitting job and the people whose couches I slept on for a few months. It is strange when I think about the importance of the people I met at very unconventional places. Compared to when I moved to the US, I hardly made connections with people in that way. I had to go to professional and social events to meet new people.
 
What did I learn?

• Make an effort to meet people where you can

 
Financial Stability
When I moved to Germany, I did not have a financial plan or resources. I still remember the first time I got paid ten Euros for a babysitting job. Having a source of income meant freedom for me. I was now able to buy little things for myself and eventually move to my own place. Fast-forward to when I moved to the US; I was more financially stable. I had learned valuable financial lessons and promised myself that I would never rely on anyone financially.
 
What did I learn?

• Make financial independence and growth a priority

 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The first picture is of me in 2002 in Germany, and the other picture was in 2016. Although I am smiling in the picture from 2002, I was going through a lot of tumult in my life. It was taken a few weeks before I became displaced from the home where I was staying when I first moved to Germany. The 2016 picture shows me settled into my work routine in San Francisco. My state of mind in the two pictures was really different. In the latter, I had a solid foundation and was not worried about my future.
Reflecting on these two years reminded me of how much my life is better now.