 Especially as we have been socially isolated over the last year, most of us are yearning for deeper human connections. The relationships we have with people in our lives matter now more than ever. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not reap all the benefits from our community because we keep our conversations and interactions superficial. A few years ago, my sister and I decided to have conversations that matter with each other and the people around us. It has been a rewarding change in our lives.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of and how to start having meaningful conversations. What are meaningful conversations?
What are the benefits of having meaningful conversations?
How to start having more meaningful conversations Sharing simple ways to approach having meaningful conversations with the people in your life: #1: Aim to connect on a deeper level Your intention and mindset when you start a conversation set the tone for how it will go. The best conversations happen when you really want to connect with the people you are talking to. Questions to consider:
#2: Make the person feel good A great way to start a deeper connection is to make the person feel comfortable and seen. When I have deep conversations, I want the person to feel that they are enough, have achieved a lot and I care about them. Questions to consider:
#3: Listen attentively to what they need We all know the feeling you have when people really care about you. Give people the opportunity to share what they really need. Questions to consider:
#4: Offer your support We all have something we can offer one another. Thinking about the ways you can contribute to their lives helps you have deeper connections. Questions to consider:
#5: Stay connected The best part of having meaningful conversations is keeping them going. When you make deeper connections, you want to stay connected over time. Questions to consider:
The Deeper Connection Challenge We can all have meaningful conversations over the next weeks. Inspired by #Big Talk, I came up with ten questions we can start asking to help us have meaningful conversations.
Final Thoughts The people in our lives will help us thrive and succeed. Now is a perfect time to make our connections matter. Time for Reflection Do you have conversations that matter? Why do you want to have conversations that matter? Who are you going to connect with over the next weeks? Great resources
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 Let us start by acknowledging that we are juggling many things in our lives. Being able to make progress is something that motivates me to get things done. The principles that I will share below have helped me take care of my six-month-old baby while working full-time.
In this blog post, I will share the five principles that help me accomplish important things. #1: Commit to completing your tasks I strongly believe that getting things done starts with your mindset. Really wanting to do something is the first step to success. In addition, if you are going to accomplish great things, you will need to commit to act. When we hold ourselves accountable to take action, we are more likely to progress on things that matter to us. Questions to consider
#2: Prepare ahead of time and have a routine In my experience, preparation is one of my secret strategies to getting things done. If you know a significant life event is about to happen, getting ready for it will help you ensure that you get things done. Knowing that I have the things that I need to complete a task makes it much more manageable. Implementing a routine where you do things repeatedly also helps you be more efficient. Questions to consider
#3: Track your progress Knowing that you are making progress is an integral part of getting things done. When I get swamped and feel like I am not making progress, I go back and look at the tasks that I have completed. Tracking my tasks provides me with a place to look when I start getting discouraged about making progress. About a year ago, I started writing down what I accomplished over the weekend, including resting and having fun. This helps give me a sense of satisfaction when I think about how I am spending my time. Questions to consider
#4: Delegate tasks to others Assigning tasks to others or outsourcing is something that I have been learning to do recently. Sometimes, to make progress, you have to assign tasks to someone else or ask for help. The outcome is what matters, not necessarily who gets it done. For example, I used to put pressure on myself to do all the household chores myself and now I have learned to ask for or hire help. I had to overcome the sense that I was failing because I was not doing everything on my own. Also, I now realize that my time is valuable, and the investment in things that save me time is priceless. Questions to consider
#5: Being kind to yourself As we navigate everyday life, there will be things that either take us much longer to do or that we don't get to do at all. It is important to be gracious to yourself and not beat yourself up. Coming to terms with the realities of what we can do is sometimes extremely difficult to do. I recently went through a stressful period and realized that I was putting myself under a lot of pressure. Now, when I catch myself trying to be perfect in everything, I remind myself to be kind to myself. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts We are all working hard and doing a lot. Now is an excellent time for us to ensure we are doing things that are important to us. Time for Reflection What helps you get things done? What is one principle that you want to start applying to get things done? How are you going to celebrate the progress you are making?  As I have progressed in my career, I have realized that professional allies and advocates are a crucial part of my career journey. In our private lives, we understand the importance of building and maintaining very healthy relationships; the same principle should apply to our professional lives.
In this blog post, I will share the benefits of having professional allies and the best way to leverage them along your career journey. Who are professional allies? Allies are people who offer one another backing, assistance, advice, information, protection, and even friendship. Your professional allies could play different roles such as mentors, sponsors, technical advisors, career advisors. What are the benefits of having professional allies? Great allies support your career in various ways such as:
5 ways to build relationships with your professional allies Find your allies and ensure they are from different backgrounds Being intentional about seeking out and choosing your allies is essential. Many different people could be your professional allies such as your manager, teammate, senior leaders, experienced co-workers or people that report to you. It is crucial for you to continuously identify your professional allies. Strategies to consider
Be clear on what the relationship is and what you want As with every relationship, when you are clear about how you want your allies to support you, you will get the best results. You should be able to clearly map out how your professional allies can positively influence your career and help you accomplish your goals. Strategies to consider
Make sure they know your work Your allies can talk more about your work when you share details with them. You do not work closely with your allies in some cases, but you want them to feel like they know what you do. You are the best person to share your professional accomplishments. Strategies to consider
Meet with them regularly In any good relationship, conversations and connections happen regularly. To stay top of mind for your professional allies, it is crucial to stay connected. You want to make sure you are not only reaching out when you have issues. Sharing good updates with them is also unbelievably valuable. Strategies to consider
Provide your professional allies value As much as you receive support, you want to give the same. We all appreciate when people who we invest in also give back to us. You have something to offer your professional allies as well. We all have different perspectives and can enrich each other's lives when we share. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts You do not have to feel lonely on your career journey. Surround yourself with amazing people who can help you thrive and enjoy your work. Time for Reflection What type of allies do you need to seek out? Who are people around you who you want to convert to professional allies? How are you going to build solid relationships with your allies? Great Resources  After 20 years of living in Germany and the US, I have learned many valuable lessons. The good and bad experiences have prepared me for where I am today. As I reflected on how our lives have changed over the past year, I realized that moving and living in different countries helped me survive during this pandemic.
In this blog post, I will share ten things that I experienced living in different countries that prepared me for living through a pandemic. Check out my "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences so far. Lesson #1: Adapting quickly to unexpected situations When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my life would be like years later. I quickly learned that adapting to unexpected situations was necessary for me to thrive. I had grand plans on where I want to be in five years. If you have been following my journey, you know that my life in Germany brought many new experiences that I did not imagine. Fast forward to 2020, a year that made us all change our plans. I quickly accepted the situations and adapted to change, which was one key lesson I learned going through some disappointment and unexpected experiences. Lesson #2: Missing family milestones and celebrations Over the years, living in other countries, I have missed some major family milestones and celebrations. In the beginning, I used to get affected and be engulfed with wishing I was there in person to mark the occasions. I had to learn that I will miss milestones as part of living abroad, and it was ok. Coming to 2020, there have been many life events that we have not celebrated with our families. I still cannot believe that our families have not yet met our son. Lesson #3: Adapting to spending holidays alone (or with my small family) The first Christmas I spent alone in Germany was brutal. Coming from Nigeria, where holidays were a huge celebration, I was not ready for a cold and lonely time in Germany. It took me a few years to get used to the different holidays and build my own holiday traditions. I started really enjoying quiet holidays. When I moved to the US, my husband and I started spending a part of the holidays with our family in Southern California. In 2020, we did not get to spend any holidays with our family or friends. However, we made sure we enjoyed spending the holidays in a special way. Lesson #4: Valuing your personal connections The people that I have met on my journey have been one of the best parts of my life abroad. Especially in a year when everything was chaotic, I went back to the basics of what has helped me thrive on my journey. I reactivated my human connections, and they helped me through 2020. Reflecting on last year, I created some great memories with my friends and family virtually. I appreciate all the amazing people in my life. Lesson #5: Create memories whenever you can I strongly believe that the small memories that we make every day matter, not only the significant memories. My husband and I were very intentional about creating happy memories during the year. We wanted to be able to think back to 2020 and remember the small things that made us smile or brought us joy. As I have moved between cities and countries, I learned the value of keeping all my memories. I can still tell happy stories from my life in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Lesson #6: Find the small things you enjoy and do them Especially when you make huge changes in your life, the little things start to matter even more. Celebrating the little things has made my journey so far unforgettable. I learned to make every win count. When I moved to the US, I was more intentional and celebrated the good things in my life. In 2020, acknowledging the small, good things that were in my life became even more critical. By focusing on the positive, I was able to survive the more trying times. Lesson #7: Having empathy for people in different situations During the pandemic, we have seen many people go through different situations. As I have lived in different countries, I have gotten to know people from different backgrounds. Building those relationships has taught me how to care for others whose experiences differ from mine. Having empathy for people changed how I view the world and become more aware of how it is not always about me. I appreciate the perspective that I have been granted through my experiences. Lesson #8: Believing in yourself We have all had to do things that we never thought we could do over the past year. We discovered that we are stronger than we think. Leaving home at the age of 15 to move to Germany, I did not know the strength and resilience I had. Now looking back on my journey, I had what it took to succeed. Although I had no idea what 2020 would bring, my strength and resilience was put to a test and I learned that I could survive this situation. Lesson #9: Be thankful and appreciate the good Especially during uncertain times and situations that we do not feel we can control; it is easy to focus on what is going wrong. My husband and I remind ourselves of the good in our lives and the privilege that we have. Not complaining and dwelling on what we do not have, has given me peace over the last year. My mindset is to be grateful no matter what happens in your life. #10: Finding joy wherever I find myself For the first seven years of my life in Germany, I silently wished I was somewhere else. I wanted to be back in Nigeria around my family and my community. This mindset hindered me from settling down and enjoying my life. After seven years, I decided to enjoy myself wherever I find myself. It has been a life-changing experience. These days, I am intentional about finding the good in my life where I am today. I now know that I can be happy in whatever situation that I find myself in. Final Thoughts We may not always understand why we experience certain things. However, I am convinced that there is a reason for everything and a lesson to be learned. Time for Reflection
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