Over the last weeks, I have been in a reflective mood. As I reflect on this year, there were things that I did differently that helped me have a very successful year. The greatest lesson I learned is that we have to do things differently to accomplish our big goals. There is a well-known saying, "what got you here will not get you there." I needed to get comfortable changing how I approached working towards my goals.
 
In this blog post, I will share the five things I did differently this year. Check out my other "Her Plan" for tips and resources to help you achieve your goals. 
 
Focused my energy on one area of my life 
I typically do an excellent job balancing multiple things and working on many goals simultaneously. However, this year, I knew that I needed to be ultra-focused on work to accomplish my goals. Being a working parent requires you to make lots of choices. This year I had a great opportunity at work, and I knew that it was the right thing for our family for me to prioritize work.
 
Asked for and accepted help
Very early this year, I realized that I was overwhelmed with everything I was doing and needed help. For the whole of 2021, I cared for our son and worked. This arrangement had to be changed in 2022, given my increased responsibilities at work. Asking for and getting help is not something that comes easily to me. I opened up and asked for additional help from my husband, hired a nanny, and then found a daycare for our son. Having a support community freed up my time and my mind. I could accomplish as much as I did because I knew our son was in great hands.
 
Spent Money on Fun Experiences
In some of my previous posts, I have shared that I have struggled with spending money on myself and fun things. This year, I permitted myself to enjoy the finer things in life a little. I really enjoyed the vacations we went on as well as the freedom I felt by ordering meals, so I wasn't cooking all the time. When I think about my year, I am delighted that we made wonderful memories this year with our family.
 
Accepted that I have to pause working on some of my Goals
In 2020 when I had a baby, I took a break from making videos for my YouTube channel. I thought I would get back to creating videos in 2021. After returning, I decided to focus on work and caring for my baby. As I planned for 2022, I wanted to relaunch my channel. However, I was stretched thin with all my responsibilities at work and as a mother. Instead of being hard on myself, I gave myself permission not to work on this goal. It was the first time that I did not progress on a plan I set, and I am totally fine with it. This was the right thing for me to do to thrive this year.
 
Learned from Setbacks
Especially when we have a lot of growth, there will be some setbacks. I approached things that went differently than I had planned with an open mind. I was looking for the lessons I could learn from them. My typical reaction would have been to be hard on myself and keep thinking about what I should have done differently to avoid them. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons from this mindset change.
 
Final Thoughts
2022 has been a very long year for a lot of us. As we close out this year, it is crucial to reflect on our growth. The lessons learned from our reflection will improve our lives next year.
 
Time for Reflection
What did you do differently this year?
What difficult decisions did you need to make this year?
What pleasantly surprised you this year?

This week is Thanksgiving in the US. It is a great reminder to take time and reflect on what we are grateful for. Especially when life gets busy, and things are going differently than we planned, Gratitude is a gift. 2022 has been a very eventful year for my family and me. This year, I want to celebrate the milestones and the people who have made this year special. We have a lot to be grateful for.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for this year. Check out my post on what I was grateful for halfway through 2022.
 
#1: Having my awesome family 
There is something special about going through life with people that love and believe in you. I have been blessed with a son, husband, twin sister, mother, and my husband's family, whom I have known all my life. Although we live very far away from our family, we get to celebrate key moments together and be there for one another.
 
#2: Having a job
As someone who lives in the Bay Area, where the news of companies laying off people has been a daily occurrence over the last few weeks, I am grateful that I still have a job. I have been thinking about the fact that it is out of my control, and worrying will not help. Being employed is something I never took for granted, and now, even more than ever.
 
#3: Getting Promoted 
This year has been one of the most remarkable years in my career. Over the past four years, I have been working very hard toward setting myself up for success at the company where I work at. Seeing the results of my work has been awesome. With the promotion, I felt my contribution was recognized and valued. I am grateful for being able to prioritize work this year. 
 
#4: Having people who support my career growth
As I have experienced great success in my career this year, I have been reflecting on the amazing people who have supported me on my career journey so far. I still remember the first person to give me an internship at a bank that kicked off my career in program management, the person that gave me my first job when I graduated from university, and the Manager that I now have who has been an advocate for me over the past 18 months. I am grateful for everyone who has supported my career in any way.
 
#5: Working with a great Team 
The people we work with really make a difference in our experience at work. I have had the opportunity to work with amazing people, especially in my current role. Every day I learn a lot from the people around me and share my knowledge with them. I am grateful for my amazing team.
 
#6: Having certain privileges in life
Especially this year, I have been reminded that I get to live the life I live today due to the fact that I have certain privileges. I'm grateful for my education, the countries I have lived in, my socioeconomic status, and the opportunities I have had in my life. I often reflect on my life and how much things have changed over the past 21 years. I know that I would not be where I am today if not for  
 
#7: Having a child-care for our son
When our son turned two years old, we were excited for him to start daycare. Especially since our family is very far away, we needed to find a child-care solution where he could be around other kids and develop strong social skills. We were very fortunate to have found a bilingual German and English Daycare around us. It is very important to us that he learns multiple languages as he grows older.
 
#8: Being Healthy
This year more than ever, we saw a lot of people around us get sick. Our family has stayed mostly healthy throughout the year. Seeing what others are going through has renewed my Gratitude for our health. Especially with a small kid, watching other kids get seriously ill has made me not complain about minor illnesses.
 
#9: Being able to visit beautiful Places
As a family, we are committed to traveling and enjoying the world's beauty. This year we got to travel to the UK and San Diego. Both of those vacations helped us see new places and appreciate how incredible the world is. We are also very fortunate to live in California, where we are surrounded by many beautiful places that we are yet to explore.
 
#10: Being alive and seeing another day
I have never taken my health for granted, and with everything happening in the world, I am very grateful for life. I do not want the hope for progress in my life to make me forget that I have a good life now. Every day that I get to live is a tremendous gift.
 
Final Thoughts: MC's Journey
Over the past four years, I have been more intentional about documenting what I am grateful for. Gratitude helps reduce my worrying and fills me with hope for the future. Going through the exercise reassures me that things will work out perfectly as they have in the past, even if my plans change.
 
Time for Reflection
What are five things that you are grateful for in 2022?
Who are three people that you are grateful for in 2022?
How will you make Gratitude a part of your life?

One of the most sought topics in career development is professional branding. The reason is that many of us are either already working on our professional brands or wonder if we need one. As I have studied personal and professional branding, I realized that they go hand in hand. With that in mind, we will focus on the impact of our brand at work.
 
In this blog post, we will explore the top five myths around your professional brand. In my previous post titled "My approach to building my personal brand," I shared some tools and resources that helped me to get started.
 
Setting the foundation: What is professional branding? 

• A professional brand is how others perceive you within your career field. Your professional brand can be distinct from or a subset of your personal brand. Your professional brand takes on many of your personal characteristics, including those that are relevant to how you comport yourself, interact with others, knowledge or acuity, and work activities/product in the business environment.
  
• Your brand reflects your professional reputation — what you're known for (or would like to be known for). When your reputation is a good one, it includes marketable distinctions like positive characteristics and achievements. It's a way to stand out from the teeming masses of competition for the best jobs.
• A professional brand is a brand identity that exists based on the merits and accomplishments of the individual tied into what they do and who they do it for. 

 
Myth #1: You don't have a professional brand
The truth is that we all have a professional brand or reputation. Even if we are not doing anything additional to doing our jobs, people have a perception of who we are professionally. Especially in today's world, where we change jobs often and are out in constantly changing professional roles, our brand is crucial. Viewing your professional brand as something you are responsible for is important.
 
Strategies to consider

• Reflect on what you think your professional brand is
• Ask five people around you what they believe your professional brand is

 
Myth #2: You only need to have a professional brand if you want to get promoted 
There are different career phases where our goals might be something other than upward mobility or promotion. Your professional brand can bring you additional benefits, such as being recognized as an expert in your field, expanding your network, and being able to give back to others professionally.
 
Strategies to consider

• Reflect on how building or maintaining your professional brand can benefit your career
• Observe people around you who have a strong brand and how they have benefited from their brand

 
Myth #3: You can only build your professional brand at work
Our professional brand can serve us outside of our core jobs as well as inside our companies. I had yet to learn the power of what I do outside work and how it can impact my professional brand in a great way. I did three main things outside work that elevated my professional brand. The first was starting my blog, where I share my thoughts, experiences, and expertise. The second was building a professional network by joining program management industry communities when I moved to the US. And the third one was furthering my education by doing some certification courses and learning about the new professional environment I was in now.
 
Strategies to consider

• Think about ways you can build your professional brand outside of work
• Take steps to build your professional brand beyond your current job

 
Myth #4: Your professional brand can only be built after you have worked for a long time
When I started my career in program management, I struggled with not seeing anyone like me, who I admired because of their professional brand. The more visible people had very different paths and had been in their careers for multiple decades. Only over the past years have I seen a beautiful niche of folks in different career stages talking about their careers and showcasing their brand. I now know that there are many flavors of professional brands.
 
Strategies to consider

• Be a role model for others by showcasing your professional brand
• Look for people whose professional brands inspire you

 
Myth #5: Maintaining your professional brand is hard work
The truth is that some amount of intentionality and work goes into maintaining our professional brand. Your professional brand should grow and evolve as your career changes. As with everything in life, your brand is not something you pay attention to once and then forget. I constantly seek inspiration and try different things regarding my professional brand in addition to doing great work.
 
Strategies to consider

• Share your professional expertise and experiences
• Keep maintaining your professional brand

 
MC's Journey: Discovering and maintaining my professional brand
At the start of my career in Germany, I did not know that my professional brand was something I should have cared about. I thought my professional success would come from my focus on doing great work, which was exactly what I did. When I moved to the US almost eight years ago, I realized I needed to build my professional brand. I started developing my brand as I worked with a coach and then took steps to maintain it over time. My professional brand has evolved as I have transitioned to new jobs, changed roles, and gotten promoted. I'm currently thinking about where I will take my brand next.
 
Great Resources
Sharing the books I read that changed how I think about my brand

• Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World by Michael Hyatt
• Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future by Dorie Clark
• BrandingPays: The Five-Step System to Reinvent Your Personal Brand by Karen Kang

 
Time for Reflection
What does personal or professional branding mean to you?
Are you actively building your brand? If not, what is standing in the way?
What three things would you like to do in 2023 to grow and maintain your brand?

One of the traits that I admire in people is their ability to dream and work toward the things they desire. As life gets serious, it is easy to get caught up with "doing things" and forget to dream about the future. I like to think that the things I dream of today will be my reality someday. It is crucial always to continue dreaming.
 
In this blog post, we will explore ways to allow ourselves to dream of our desired future.
 
Dream about things no one around you has ever done
When I speak to immigrants or first-generation folks, they often share that it is difficult to dream of things you did not see people around you do. The ones who have allowed themselves to be inspired and dream beyond their current environment. have gone ahead and done great things. Many people outside of our circles have done great things and can be an inspiration. I go out of my way to look for inspiring stories and broaden my perspective.
 
Questions to reflect on

• Who are the people that inspire you and why?
• What do you want to be the first person in your family or community to accomplish? 

 
Dream about things that you do not yet know how to attain
People like me who are planners might need to do more self-work to get comfortable dreaming about things without planning. It is interesting how we sometimes limit ourselves to only dream about things we know how to get or accomplish. Allowing ourselves to dream about something and then later figuring out how to get it would give us more freedom to dream big. One of my coaches encouraged me to write down about 30 things I want and not limit myself to what I think is possible. It sounds very simple, but I still tried to be rational while dreaming.
 
Questions to reflect on

• What are 30 things you dream of accomplishing or attaining in your life, work, business, finances, family, etc.?
• How will you stop yourself from being rational when you dream?

 
Dream about things that people have told you that you can't accomplish
A lot of us grew up in communities where people told us what they thought we could or could not accomplish. Those things translate into limiting beliefs about what we can achieve in life. As I have grown older, I have been working on freeing myself from the words that were said to me as a child. I know now that those words have no hold on my life unless I believe them.
 
Questions to reflect on

• What words were said about your dreams that you need to let go of?
• What do you believe you can achieve even if no one else does?

 
Dream about doing things that you are afraid of
Fear is a big reason why we do not let ourselves dream and chase those big dreams. At a conference for young women that I attended a while ago, a high school student talked about how being afraid of who she might become held her back. I asked to chat with her after the conference because I wanted to learn more, and she shared that being very successful scared her. Her words resonated with me because I have been afraid of things working out too well. Another fear I know has been holding me back from dreaming is the fear of failure.
 
Questions to reflect on

• What fears are holding you back from dreaming?
• How will you work towards letting go of your fears?

 
Encourage your children to dream 
When I hear kids talk about their dreams for the future, it gives me hope. They are born with the ability to dream, and it is our responsibility to continue to let the flame burn. Refrain from allowing your adult mind that has been trained to only think of what is possible in your current circumstance to limit your ability to dream. Let them talk about their big dreams and hope with them that they come true.
 
Questions to reflect on

• How do you react when people share their dreams with you?
• How can you encourage people to continue to dream

 
Final Thoughts: MC's Reflection
Lately, I have been feeling like I have accomplished many things that I dreamed about, for which I am beyond grateful. I now yearn for new dreams and something I can work towards. I have been too busy working towards my goals and have yet to allow myself to take time to dream. I want to confidently respond when someone asks me what my top dreams are. As we wrap up the year, I have made some time over the next weeks to dream, and I hope you do the same too.

Over the past 21 years, I have had the opportunity to celebrate hundreds of holidays in Germany and the US. As I have lived in multiple countries, I have adopted new holidays and also created my traditions. Especially as we prepare for the busiest holiday season, I have been reflecting on the exciting and different holidays that I have experienced.
 
In this blog post, I will share what I learned about holidays living in Germany and the US. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Christmas in Germany
The first Christmas I spent in Germany was very different. To start with, it was the first winter I experienced, and it snowed a lot. Secondly, I was about to learn that Germans celebrate Christmas very differently. When I was growing up in Nigeria, the major festivities were on December 25th, and on the 26th, we got to continue celebrating with our extended family. Now that I was in Germany, I learned that people celebrated on Christmas eve. I lived in Germany for 14 years and never got used to it. However, one aspect of Christmas that I really loved were the Christmas Markets. I made it a point to visit the ones around me every single year. It became a part of my Christmas traditions in Germany.
 
New Year's traditions in Germany
In my early years in Germany, I was very surprised at how people celebrated the start of the year. I learned about many families' traditions, such as coming together and eating special meals on New Year's Eve. This was very different for me growing up in Nigeria, where we typically spent New Year's eve in Church. After 21 years of living abroad, I have adopted enjoying family time and special meals to mark the start of the new year.
 
Discovering "Karneval" in Cologne
Around the world, many countries celebrate Carnival. Nigeria is not one of those countries. I had only seen a place transform into a big party city for a few days every year when I moved to Cologne in 2010. Everyone comes out to celebrate Carnival and the traditions around it. At work, they asked us to come in costumes. I had never worn one before and did not even know how to choose what I wanted to dress as. So I went as myself without a costume. I admire people who plan their outfits for months and are passionate about it.

Easter traditions in Germany and the US
Growing up in Nigeria, the Easter celebration focused on the religious aspects and was a time for families to come together. The first time I heard about the Easter bunny in Germany, I did not really understand the connection. When I moved to the US, I learned about the Easter egg hunt, kids dressing up, and other Easter traditions. Interestingly, I now forget Easter celebrations since I moved to the US because it is not a holiday, unlike in Germany and Nigeria.
 
Celebrating the 4th of July in the US
When the stores start filling up with items with the American flag, I am reminded that Independence Day is approaching. The traditions where people spend time with family and friends outside are awesome to see. In some cities, there are parades and more connections to the historical events around the celebrations. Interestingly, I really like the time off that happens around this time and spending time with people I like, but I rarely think about the day's symbolism.
 
Halloween in the US
Celebrating Halloween is becoming something that many countries have learned from the US. However, the way everything changes once fall sets in to remind people that Halloween is around the corner is very American. I am not too fond of scary things, so this is a holiday that I skip. As I navigate holidays as a mother, this is one where I ask myself how I can find a way for our son to participate in the kid's activities around Halloween. This year, our son's daycare is hosting a Halloween parade. I need help thinking about the costumes that he can wear. One part of Halloween that my Nigerian upbringing is stopping me from getting used to is Trick & Treat, where kids go door to door and gather candy. There is just something about accepting candy from strangers that raises alarms in my mind. I am smiling as I think about it.  

Thanksgiving in the US
Thanksgiving was a very new holiday to me when I moved to the US in 2015. It is not a holiday that is celebrated in Germany and Nigeria. Over the past years, I have been learning about the holiday and its transitions. The size of the turkey was one of the first scary things I experienced on my first thanksgiving here. There is something special about celebrating with family and friends. In our home, we celebrate thanksgiving with Chicken and a Nigerian rice dish. That is our way of combining our Nigerian heritage on this very American holiday.
 
Gifts are a huge deal for Christmas in the US
The other day, I told my husband how surprised I was that advertisements for Christmas gifts had already started in October. In the US, people really take gift-giving very seriously. I still remember my first Christmas here when we visited some extended family, and they spent considerable time exchanging gifts. My husband and I quickly decided we wanted to celebrate the season and not be caught up in the gift-buying craze in November and December.
 
Learning about other people's holidays 
One of the great benefits of being an immigrant is that we get to meet a lot of people who have cultures and religions that are different from ours. Over the years, I have learned about many cultural and religious holidays. Among the differences, there are some commonalities in how we celebrate holidays. I have found that food always plays an important role. 
 
Final Thoughts
As immigrants, we have created a great combination of the holidays we celebrate in the countries we grew up in and the new ones in the countries where we now live. The merging of cultures and traditions makes our experiences very unique. I am excited to learn more about holiday traditions from the places where I live and the people around me.

October is a month of celebration in our home. We kicked it off with our wedding anniversary, our Son's birthday, and the grand finale is, my birthday. This year, I am marking my special day by celebrating who I am and sharing a little bit about me.
 
In this blog post, I will share some experiences, thoughts, and fears that make me who I am today. Check out my other "Her Story" blog posts to learn more about me.
 
#1: I am German-Nigerian
It took me a while to own and celebrate both parts of my cultural identity. After I moved to the US over seven years ago, it finally became clear that both German and Nigerian cultures have influenced who I am today. My love for family and community is Nigerian, whereas my sense of responsibility at work is very German.
 
#2: I am a Wife and Mother
The two most important men in my life are my Son and husband. I am very fortunate to be married to someone I have known all my life. It is a very special gift that I never take for granted. Two years ago, we were blessed with our Son. Every day I find comfort in the home we have built for ourselves and our Son.
 
#3: I get to celebrate my birthday every year with someone special 
I am one of those people who was blessed to be born with a birthday mate. My twin sister and I celebrate this wonderful occasion every year. It is very special to have a sibling with whom you share a lot with. One of the questions I get asked the most as a twin is if we can feel the other person's feelings and know if something is wrong. The truth is that there is a special connection that I can't explain.
 
#4: My sister and I were raised by a single mom
Our Mother gave birth to us in Germany and then moved back to Nigeria with us when we were 18 months old. Growing up was fun and challenging at the same time. I learned many valuable lessons about being a resilient woman from my Mother. When I look at how far my sister and I have come in our lives so far, I can't believe it given how we grew up.
 
#5: One of my greatest fears is that no one shows up to my "party"
In my job, I get to organize and lead various events. One of my steady fears is that no one will sign up and join. I stop myself from looking at the numbers of how many people signed and enjoy the surprise. I also tell myself that it's not about how many people show up but the value they get from being there.
 
#6: Working towards my financial goal is one of my motivators
I grew up poor but with some privileges in Nigeria. One promise I made to myself when I moved to Germany at age 15 was that I would be intentional with my finances and work towards building wealth. It started with me saving a very small amount from the small jobs I worked at when I was in university. I have kept my saving discipline going until now. As I earned more money, I set more aside and invested in building the life I desired.
 
#7: My purpose in life is to support women around me
When people ask me what I am passionate about, I always say, "helping women thrive in their personal and professional lives." I take the forums and platforms I have to connect with other women very seriously. Especially being raised mostly among women, I am a cheerleader for those who are working towards living their best lives.
 
#8: My Career has taken me places that I never imagined
When I graduated, I had no idea I would be where I am today, almost thirteen years later. I chose to be a program manager in Tech, which was the right path for me. I have gotten to sit in rooms and lead programs I never saw myself leading. Over the past three years, I have had the privilege of leading Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programs as my contribution to making the world a better place.
 
#9: I wear my heart on my sleeves
For the longest time, I thought my emotions, empathy, and quickness to tears were weaknesses. I have learned to appreciate that it makes me who I am. Especially with my strong personality, I need to balance it with care for people around me. I accept all the tears that I cry as I feel all the emotions.
 
#10: I am grateful and proud of how far I have come
Every year around my birthday, I reflect on my life over the past year and the experiences that I have been through. This past year has been filled with many successes in my personal and professional life. It has taken a lot of sacrifices and has taught me a lot.
 
Final Thoughts - My wish for my new year
One thing that I realized is that I need to start dreaming about my future. I have accomplished many of the big things I had already wished for and planned for. This is a great time to get inspired and refresh my bold goals.

On my 21-year journey of living abroad, I have had some fun experiences. The experiences have made my journey very enjoyable and taught me many valuable lessons. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I had no idea what my journey would be like.
 
In this blog post, I will share ten things that have made me smile on my Relocation journey so far. Check out my other "Her Relocation" blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Meeting people from new countries and backgrounds
Moving and living in different countries has helped me meet many great people. Interestingly, after all these years, I still remember many people I met on my journey. My favorite part of meeting new people is learning about them and their cultural backgrounds. There is so much beauty in the different cultures that exist in the world. I am still learning a lot even after this long.
 
#2: Discovering new food
Growing up in Nigeria, I grew to appreciate great food. We enjoyed local Nigerian foods and some international food that made its way via expats living in Nigeria. Moving to Germany, I could enjoy some German food, taste authentic Italian food, learn about different varieties of African dishes and discover Turkish food for the first time. And then, years later, when I moved to the US, I tasted Mexican food and lots of seafood for the first time.
 
#3: Watching International sports - World cup and The Olympics
Every World Cup and Olympics brings a lot of excitement. There is something magical about seeing the countries I care about come together and cheer their teams on. I still remember watching the World Cup after moving to Germany and supporting the Nigerian Super Eagles team. Then as years passed, I started supporting Nigeria and Germany at international sports events. This year will be different as Nigeria did not qualify for the World Cup.
 
#4: Learning new languages
Speaking new languages helped me integrate into the new countries that I was living in. Life changed for the best when I could communicate with people around me. It took years for me to understand jokes in German. Once I did, I understood the culture a little bit better.
 
#5: Traveling to new countries and cities
Over the last 21 years, I have had the opportunity to visit some amazingly beautiful cities and countries. Living in Germany, many places were accessible via train, which was very convenient. Since I moved to the US, I have been fortunate to visit new countries for work, go on road trips and explore more than I did on the earlier part of my journey.
 
#6: Sharing my experiences with others
My blog started with the desire to share my story and build a community of women who support one another on their journey. It has been great to hear other people's stories of living abroad and the lessons they have learned. I celebrate every woman who has forged her path in different countries, overcome challenges, and is thriving.
 
#7: Being Inspired to do new things
One of the great things that living abroad has provided me is it has expanded my perspective. There are so many things that I never imagined experiencing and would not have if I had stayed in Nigeria. I enjoy seeing people doing extraordinary things that I aspire to do. I now know I can accomplish greatness and work towards it.
 
#8: Sharing a part of my journey with my twin sister
When my sister moved to Germany to be with me in 2003, I was over the moon. Life felt different; I had my person who would be my companion on this journey. We created a lot of great memories together and went through a lot. I can still remember the moment when we had a lot of fun and laughter. I feel very fortunate to have been able to experience a part of my journey with my twin sister.
 
#9: Discovering myself
I moved back to Germany when I was fifteen and still had much growing up. It has been fun to discover who I am and the identities that make me who I am. I feel very fortunate to get to know a lot about myself. Living abroad has given me a lot of time to shape my likes and dislikes.
 
#10: Teaching our son aspects of our culture
Lately, I have been thinking about the unique opportunity that my husband and I have as we raise our son in multiple cultures. It has been fun to start teaching him aspects of our culture and also that of the country where we live. I am looking forward to seeing the mix of beautiful cultures that he will grow up knowing.
 
Final Thoughts
Being an immigrant definitely has its ups and downs. I am very grateful for all the great experiences that have brought me joy. Celebrating these moments makes me remember them like they were yesterday.

As we progress and grow in our lives, we experience new things. Interestingly, I did not think about all the additional transitions I will have to go through as a Mother. Now I am here and learning how to manage my emotions and adapt to changes in our lives. I am also very aware that this is only the beginning, and many more transitions are coming our way as parents. This is year two of a very long journey with our son.
 
In this blog post, I will share my experience and how I am preparing for this new phase in my life as a mother.
 
MC's Journey: Navigating our Childcare changes
Our son was born at the height of the pandemic, which meant that my husband and I had to start our journey as parents on our own. Our family lives far away, and with the travel restrictions, they could not come to visit us. As a result, we cared for our newborn on our own and continued to do so for the first 14 months of his life. I learned to navigate caring for him while working full-time from when he was 3,5 months old. At the beginning of 2022, when infection rates were lower where we live, we hired a nanny who came in for about sixteen hours a week while we covered the rest of the time. I am fortunate to work from home, which worked very well for us. Now that our son is turning two years old in a few weeks, we are ready to expand his social circle. My little baby is starting Daycare. We know that he is ready, and it is a part of his development. However, thinking about the transition has been very emotional for me. For the first time in his life, he will be away from my husband and I, in someone else's care outside of our home.
 
How am I preparing myself for the transition?
 
Educating myself
Until we had a child, I had no idea how the school system in the US worked. I was a little more aware of how schools worked in Germany because I lived there for a long time and learned from my sister and friends who had kids. So, when we started talking about our son starting Daycare, my husband and I had to read up and talk to people around us. We are still learning a lot of new things. I am looking forward to expanding our community of parents as well.
 
Accepting the feelings I have
When people asked me in my early adulthood what my weakness was, I would say that I do not do well with changes. A few years ago, I realized that I have actually experienced a lot of change in my life and the change itself is not the issue. I now know that the impact of the change is what concerns me. Although I have accepted the change, I still feel emotional about everything that will be different due to the change. When I think about our son going to Daycare, I am very excited for him. However, the thought of him being away from us for hours a day makes me uneasy. I have been spending time thinking about what I am worried about and finding some techniques to help me adapt.
 
Preparing myself
We had about six months between when we enrolled our son in Daycare and when he is actually going to start. It has given me a lot of time to get prepared in my mind. If you know me, you know that I use preparation as a technique to address nervousness about new and significant milestones. I am very thankful that I have planning skills that I apply to get my mind ready for the change. Once I have a plan, I find embracing the changes in my life easier.
 
Preparing my family
With our son going to Daycare, all our routines will change. My husband and I have started talking about the adjustments we will make. The next area that I focused on was ensuring we have everything our son will need for Daycare. I was shopping for things as if he was going to college. It is important that we have the critical things covered for his first weeks in Daycare. We can then learn about what else we need and get those. This is all part of the learning journey that we are embarking on.
 
Being thankful, brave, and hopeful
I am embarking on this journey with a lot of excitement for our son, as well as looking forward to how much he will learn from Daycare and then school when the time comes. We are incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to care for our son at home over the past two years. I know that I will smile when I look back in a few months and remember how nervous I am now. As with other transitions, I know that we will thrive and succeed as a family.
 
Final Thoughts
I would like to wrap up this post by celebrating all the amazing parents and caretakers who are caring for children. It is a huge responsibility that grows exponentially every year. Being raised by a single mother and seeing my sister being a great mum, I have great role models who have gone before me. Thank you to all parents and caregivers !!!

As the third quarter of the year comes to an end, it is a great time to check in on our goals and start preparing for next year. There is something powerful about this time of the year, summer is over in the northern hemisphere, the new school year has started, and we are ready for the final months of this year. A few years ago, I started aligning my personal planning timeline to the one I use at work. We kicked off planning for the next year already in August. This gives us enough time to reflect on our progress this year and sufficiently prepare for the next year.  
 
In this blog post, we will start dreaming of the year we want to have in 2023 and check the progress we have made toward our goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life.
 
5 Questions to kick-off planning for 2023
 
#1: How will you prioritize your wellbeing?
Our physical and mental wellbeing are the solid foundation that is needed to live an amazing life. By knowing what contributes to your wellbeing and then prioritizing it, you will have a great year.
 
Strategies to consider

• Reflect on your wellbeing in 2022
• Identify what you want to do differently to prioritize your wellbeing

 
#2: What memories are you looking forward to creating with your family and friends?
We are fortunate to have people we get to experience life with. Being intentional about spending time with the people we care about helps us build the best memories.
 
Strategies to consider

• Think about the great memories you created with your family and friend in 2022
• List three ways you would like to celebrate the amazing people in your life

 
#3: What brave thing do you want to do?
You will be proud of being brave when you look back at the year. Challenge yourself to overcome your fears and be brave. There are so many experiences that still await us. Think about something you have always wanted to do and commit to completing in 2023.
 
Strategies to consider

• Name one thing that you were afraid to do in 2022
• Reflect on what held you back and commit to not letting it hold you back in 2023

 
#4: What progress do you want to make at work or in your business?
We spend a lot of time at work or in our business. It would be awesome to know that we are also making progress professionally. Being strategic about skills we need to learn and steps we want to take in our careers will yield the desired success.
 
Strategies to consider

• Envision where you want to take your career or business next
• Document what you need to do to get there  

 
#5: What is on your financial vision board? 
Every step we take toward our financial goals will get us closer to financial independence. In 2023, you will have many opportunities to gain financial freedom and build wealth.
 
Strategies to consider

• Reflect on our 2022 financial goals and the progress you made
• Dream about what you have always wanted to accomplish in 

 
MC's Journey: Progress update Q3 2022
These past months have gone by very quickly. I feel fortunate to be where I am in my life at the moment, even though I feel tired. Below, I will be reflecting on my goals and the progress I have made.

• Personal: Prioritize self-care and create sustainable routines
  • Highlight: Over the past months, I have made time for small activities for myself, such as getting a haircut and doing my nails regularly. It sounds like a small thing, but it is very important to me
  • Lowlight: I still have not been getting as much rest as I need to. With a toddler and being busy at work, my sleep has been affected 
  • What am I planning to do differently?
    • I am planning to get into a better sleep routine and get as many naps as I can 
• Family: Make memories and enjoy our time as a family
  • Highlight: Our son got to enjoy the beach. The first time we took him to the beach, he refused to walk on the sand. And then, when we went a few weeks ago, he was shoveling sand in a sandcastle for almost an hour. 
  • What am I planning to do next?
    • Over the next months, I want to continue experiencing new things with my family
• Professional: Expand my sphere of influence and lead programs that reach more people
  • Highlight: Growing my team to now six amazing people
  • Lowlight: I am still overworking and thinking about work in my free time
  • What am I doing differently?
    • In Q4, I will be delegating more, taking time off, and setting a new work routine 
• Financial: Set the financial foundation for our next investment projects
  • Highlight: Interestingly, I am still learning to spend money on things that matter to me
  • Lowlight: I have not explored any new ways of growing my wealth 
  • What am I planning to do next?
    • Be patient and keep learning about ways to grow my finances 
• Business: Grow our community of women and create helpful content
  • Highlight: I have stayed on track and published a new blog post every week this year 
  • Lowlight: My YouTube channel is still on hold. The time has still not come.
  • What am I planning to do differently?
    • Learn to wait for the right time to get back to speaking and my YouTube channel
• Learning: develop the skills needed for the next phase of my career 
  • Highlight: I have been learning a lot as I lead my team. As I pass knowledge to others, I am learning new skills
  • Lowlight: I had to cancel a training I had planned to start in August as the time was not right
  • What am I planning to do next?
    • Continue teaching and learning from others 
• Bold Goal: Take the next step higher in my career
  • Current status: I am making progress in my career and doing much more than I imagined

 
Final Thoughts
As I reflected on my progress toward my goals, I realized that the biggest lesson I learned is to be patient and wait until it is the right time to do certain things. In order to make progress in one area of my life, I have had to accept that other areas will be on hold for a little while. I am learning to be ok with that, not be hard on myself, and celebrate my progress. 2022 has been a great year with lots of hard work, and I am seeing the rewards.
 
Call to Action
What are three things that you have enjoyed in the last three months of the year?
What are you looking forward to over the next last three months of the year?
What type of year would you like 2023 to be?

As I progress in my career, I am learning a leadership skill that does not come naturally to me as someone who likes to be in control. Delegating tasks and responsibilities to people on my team is required for me to succeed professionally this year. At the beginning of the year, I realized I needed to actively work on letting go and trusting that others could get the work done. Over the past six months, I have built a team of six awesome people. Learning to delegate was a prerequisite for succeeding in this new career phase.
 
In this blog post, I will share the lessons I have learned on my journey and how my mindset has changed concerning delegating at work. Check out my other "Her Career" blog posts for tips and resources to help you thrive professionally.
 
Lesson 1: Realizing that if I can keep working on everything myself without a team, then I  am not growing
The more we grow and gain leadership responsibility in our careers, the more our scope expands. With that comes the need to have multiple people working on delivering the growing scope. For the longest time, I thought I was showing my value by overworking and not realizing that people saw that as my scope was not large enough. While preparing for a promotion, one of my mentors advised me to think about how much more we could accomplish with a team of awesome people.
 
What results have I seen so far?

•  As a team, we are able to do more great work and have a significant impact

 
Lesson 2: Delegating to others helps them develop new skills
Teaching and sharing my skills is an area of strength for me. However, I never connected with delegating as a way to teach and pass on knowledge to others. When you delegate tasks to people, you create space for them to acquire and practice new skills. I have also learned that there is a way to delegate correctly by offering coaching and support for your team members as they take on new tasks.
 
What results have I seen so far?

• People on my team are developing skills that surpass anything I would have imagined

 
Lesson 3: Delegating makes space for me to focus on bigger things
Thinking that I had to do everything myself kept my focus on the day-to-day tasks rather than being strategic. I really enjoy thinking about the big picture, being strategic, and planning for the longer term. However, before I started delegating and trusting my team to drive work, I did not have time to do the things I enjoyed. I recently worked on our 2023 plan for one of my programs, which gives me a lot of fulfillment.
 
What results have I seen so far?

•  I am now able to focus on doing things I haven't had time to like strategizing, building relationships, and developing long-term plans

 
Lesson 4: To be successful, you need to let people know that you want to work on delegating
One practice that helps me when working towards a big goal is building a community of people who will support me on my journey. When I shared my goal to learn to delegate more to my extended team, they were very supportive, and one of them offered to be my accountability partner. People helped me keep my commitment as I worked towards my goal.
 
What results have I seen so far?

•  It feels very good for people to share the progress that they can see me making

 
Lesson 5: Delegating is a continuous learning journey
It is crucial for me to remind myself that the lessons I am learning about delegating are only the beginning. I am open to continuing to learn lessons, changing my mindset, and doing things differently to accomplish the best outcomes for my team. Learning and acquiring new leadership skills is something I enjoy doing, especially when I see the results.
 
What results have I seen so far?

• Having a growth mindset has helped me build a successful career, and I know it will pave the way for the great things I want to accomplish. 

 
Great Resources

• [Podcast] The Essentials: Delegating Effectively
• For Delegation to Work, It Has to Come with Coaching 
• Why Aren't You Delegating?
• 4 Ways Leaders Can Protect Their Time and Empower Their Teams
• Signs That You're a Micromanager

When you ask someone where they are from or call home, you typically have some assumptions about how they might respond. One of the beauties of being an immigrant is that we get to define where our home is, and sometimes we have multiple places that we consider our home. The famous saying "home is where the heart is" has a very different meaning to me after living as an immigrant in multiple countries over 21 years.
 
In this blog post, I will share the evolution of how I think about home and the five lessons that I have learned on my journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Starting point: What does home mean to me?
Over the past 21 years of living in multiple countries and cities, I have had to redefine what home means to me. At the beginning of my time in Germany, I thought Nigeria was home. It was where I had spent my childhood, and most of my family still lived. As the years progressed and I started growing my life in Germany, I began to feel Germany was home. It was where I had spent my young adulthood and started my serious life. Then the US became home once I planted my roots and went on to have our son here. Home is wherever I live, build memories, spend time with people I love, and do things I am destined to do. 
 
Answering the question about my heritage and home
Although many of my friends also experienced this, especially living in Germany, I cannot believe that people thought it was acceptable to ask people questions about when they are returning home. There is no more effective way to let people know they are not welcome and do not belong than a question like that. Asking someone where they are from already lets them know that you think they are from a different place. I have gotten used to the questions and have educated people on alternative ways to phrase the question. However, the question of when I am going back to where I came from will never be ok. The truth is I am at home here or wherever we choose to live next.
 
Finding and building my home
When people talk about home, they associate it with a physical space. Throughout my life, I have lived in almost 20 houses. When I moved to the US was the first time that I had lived in a single place for now over seven years. If I had based my definition of home on the physical space, I would never have felt the sense of home. For me, home is more about the sense of belonging and how I feel in my heart. I have been fortunate to feel at home at various phases of my life, and I also know the feeling of not being able to belong where I am.
 
Accepting that I can have multiple places I call home
With my family living in the Bay Area, I call the US home. In addition, I still feel at home every time I visit Germany and Nigeria in different ways. All the countries that I have lived in symbolize a critical aspect of where home is for me. Nigeria gave me a lot of my cultural roots, like food, while Germany allowed me to grow into who I am today, and the US taught me to shine and be my whole self. Each of my home countries has a different meaning to me; they are all my home.
 
Creating my home wherever I am
It took me seven years of living in Germany before I started feeling at home. I had first to change my mindset about where I called home. My experiences improved significantly after I accepted Germany as my home. I started growing my network, integrating myself more into the community, and finding things that made my life in Germany fun. When I moved to the US over seven years ago, I quickly adapted to being at home in the US. One of the things that I have learned is a crucial factor in my feeling at home is food. In Germany, I was on a search to find places to get Nigerian food ingredients, and now that I am in the US, I am on a constant search for German bread. It might seem very trivial, but the food is something that helps me recreate my home where I find myself.
 
Five Lessons that I have learned about "home"
Over the past 21 years, I have learned a lot of valuable lessons that have helped me find my place and feel at home

1. Home is not limited to a physical space 
2. You get to define where you call home
3. We all have the ability to adapt to new places and call them home
4. A sense of belonging is crucial to feeling at home
5. You get to create a home for others as your family and network expands

 
Final Thoughts
The next time you think about asking someone where they are from or where they call home, remember that they belong wherever they decide to be. In our world today, people move to live in different places and build their home in whatever way they choose to. We can all help people feel a sense of belonging whenever our paths cross.

From time to time, I write posts about topics that I am currently working on, and this is one of them. Recently, I have been thinking about the state of my relationships and friendships over the past years. The people in my life have been companions, advisors, cheerleaders, and supporters on my journey. One of my latest realizations is that I am missing human connections and need to make a change.
 
In this blog post, we will discuss five strategies to build and maintain healthy relationships with people we love and care about.
 
#1: Think about the relationships that are important to you
We all have people who have played a crucial role in our lives. Especially at times when you are yearning for more connection, it helps to think about the people you already have on your side. My circle is very small, and I can tell you the significant role that everyone plays in my life. Most of them have been my friends for a very long time.
 
Questions to consider

• Who are the people that play an important role in your life?
• How have they influenced your life?

 
#2: Reflect on what is working or not working in your relationships
Now that you have a list of the relationships you care about, now is an excellent time to reflect on the strengths and areas of improvement. It can be very easy to take our relationships for granted and not think about what we can do to improve them.
 
Questions to consider

• What are your favorite aspects of your relationships? 
• What aspects of your relationships don't bring you joy?

 
#3: Analyze what is standing in the way of you building the types of relationships you want and need
As we get busy or go through life, we can neglect the relationships that matter. One of the lessons that I have learned through my reflection on my relationships is that I am not dedicating enough time to my relationships. Many things have a hold on my time in this phase in my life, sadly leading to me dedicating less time to connect with people around me.
 
Questions to consider

• What have you done recently to maintain healthy relationships?
• How have you neglected some of your relationships?

 
#4: Make a list of changes you want to make
Healthy relationships take being intentional and work. We can make some changes to have the best relationships with the people we care about.
 
Questions to consider

• What three things do you want to do differently in your existing relationships?
• What new connections do you want to cultivate?

 
#5: Make commitments and take action
Now is a great time to invest in your relationships and make the changes you identified. The truth is we will always be busy; it will take us making time for relationships with people that are close to us.
 
Questions to consider

• Who will you spend some time with over the next two weeks?
• How will you make time for your relationships?

 
Final Thoughts
The people around us contribute significantly to our mental and emotional well-being. I realized I do not have a solid social network in the US. Although I've been living here for seven years, most of my close friends and support network are from my time in Germany and Nigeria. The truth is that I don't make time and have become less social. My task over the next weeks is to reconnect with people I care about and plan for more opportunities to meet new people.
 
Call to Action
Tell three people in your life how much you appreciate them over the next two weeks.

Talking about finances is one of the topics I am learning to be more comfortable doing. Our finances play a major role in enabling us to live the amazing lives we want. Yet, many of us shy away from talking about our accomplishments and challenges regarding money.  
 
In this post, we will explore the ten things we should all know about our money to thrive financially. Check out my other "Her Finances" posts for more financial tips and resources.
 
#1: Do you have a good relationship with money?
Our background and experiences influence our relationship with money in life. Until a few years ago, I never thought that we all have a relationship with money that goes back to our childhood. I took time to reflect on my first lessons about money and how they influenced my view as a grown-up. I now know that fear was one of the feelings that hindered my financial growth. Learning and talking about  
 
Resources

• Your relationship with money

 
#2: Are your finances healthy? 
We can thing about our finances as an area of our lives that can be healthy or unhealthy. If you are living above your means, in debt, and unaware of your financial status, your finances are not whole. It is crucial to overcome your fear and know your financial status. I have learned that ignoring financial challenges makes it worse. Checking in on our finances often will help you set a great foundation to grow your finances.
 
Resources

• Achieving financial wellbeing
• 10 Things to do for your financial wellbeing

 
#3: What is on your financial vision board?
Dreaming about our financial future inspired us to continue working towards our goals. I was always impressed when I heard people talk about their vision boards and what they wanted to have in life. About three years ago, I built my first vision board that included my financial dreams. For someone like me who likes to have concrete plans, dreaming of the future took a lot of effort to dream of the future. I now enjoy adding things to my financial vision board.
 
Resources

• Things to put on your financial vision board

 
#4: Do you know the areas of your finances where you need to do better?
Learning from our mistakes and making better financial decisions is a part of adulting. The most crucial part is identifying where we need to make changes to improve our financial status. In my early years living in Germany, I had no funds saved in an emergency fund. One lesson I learned was that saving money needed to be something I did monthly to get the discipline I needed. My latest financial lesson has been about growing my finances by building multiple income sources.
 
Resources

• Five hard lessons I learned about money
• My experience making difficult financial decisions

 
 
#5: What good money habits and actions will help you accomplish your financial goals?
Implementing the learnings that we gathered to achieve our financial goals is a necessary step for us to take. This is a good time to take stock of your good practices. I have found that good money habits such as saving, budgeting, and investing have helped me achieve financial independence.
 
Resources

• Good money habits 
• What I'm doing differently with my money

 
#6: Are you learning about how to grow your finances?
The first step to achieving financial independence is to set a solid foundation by knowing your status, paying debt, living within your means, and saving. The next step is to explore how you can grow your finances and develop wealth. The strategy that I started learning about a few years ago was investing. I am honestly still learning about how to grow my wealth.
 
Resources

• How to grow your savings

 
#7: Do you plan your expenses and income?
Knowing how much you bring in and where your money goes monthly is crucial to building a solid financial foundation. I hear from people that budgeting seems complex and that they don't have one. I recommend starting simple by writing down your income and subtracting your expenses from it. You can then subtract what you would need to pay monthly to get out of debt and also how much you want to save. Once you have done that, you will have a solid budget that you can work from.
 
Resources

• Taking charge of your finances
• How I spend my money

 
#8: How are you investing in yourself
Over the years, I have learned that I need to be comfortable investing in myself. Part of my money journey has been giving myself the freedom to spend money on myself. As someone who why hyper-focused on saving my money, I needed to identify what I wanted to spend my money on and do it.
 
Resources

• Five things for yourself that are worth spending money on

 
#9: How are you going to learn about finances?
There are so many great experts out there who know a lot about finances. I take every opportunity I get to soak in financial knowledge from people skilled at growing their money. It's great that we have access to books, podcasts, or even the opportunity to work directly with a financial advisor.
 
Resources

• What Is a Financial Advisor, and What Do They Do?

 
#10: What are your financial goals? 
We need to have financial goals to continue to have healthy finances and grow. I set new financial plans at the start of every year. It helps me focus on continuing to be financially independent and build wealth.
I look forward to learning a lot as I accomplish my goals.
 
Resources

• Six simple steps to start your financial planning 

 
Final Thoughts
Writing blog posts about finances reminds me of how far I have come and how much more there is still to be done on this journey. I want everyone around me to thrive financially and get comfortable talking about money. Let's all build wealth together.

Recently, I have been reflecting on who I am and my purpose in life. So many things in life lead to us feeling like we no longer know who we are and what we care about. Over the last two years, many of our lives have changed drastically, and many things are no longer the same. In addition to the things happening in the world, some of us have gone through other changes, such as becoming new parents, gaining professional success, gaining financial independence, or experiencing loss. We have all been through much more changes than we were used to. With the changes could come a sense of feeling like you don't know who you are and have lost your sense of self.
 
In this blog post, we will explore how to deal with the feeling of losing yourself.
 
How are you feeling?
Acknowledging your feelings is very important. We go through life so quickly and are often not in touch with our deepest feelings. Then once we know what we are feeling, it's important not to judge ourselves and accept how we are feeling.
 
Strategies to consider

• Check-in with yourself
• Write down how you are feeling and your thoughts

 
Who are you now?
We are not the same person we were two years ago. Part of feeling that you are lost is not being in touch with who you are. Take the time to rediscover who you are now, what you like, and your dreams and aspirations.
 
Strategies to consider

• Ask yourself what you care about
• Accept your new self

 
What are new things that you want to explore?
We all change and evolve on our life journeys. Instead of yearning for what excited us in the past, it is time to think about the new things that will bring you joy. Along with discovering your new self, take time to get excited about the future.
 
Strategies to consider

• Envision new areas of your life that you want to explore
• Spend time in spaces that inspire you

 
How will you make time for yourself?
There are so many people and things that are competing for our attention. It takes much more work to find time for ourselves. I realized that everyone's definition of making time for themselves differs.
 
Strategies to consider

• Carve out time often to do the things that help you reconnect with yourself
• Prioritize yourself and your needs

 
How will you celebrate your awesomeness?
The truth is that you are who you were meant to be, and you are awesome. Not celebrating who you are and the journey you have been on makes you feel lost. Permit yourself to be your authentic self.
 
Strategies to consider

• Think about what you like about yourself
• Celebrate your unique contribution to the world

 
Final Thoughts: MC's journey
Over the last two and a half years, I have gone through pregnancy, had a baby, lived through a pandemic, worked hard, accomplished professional success, being a mum and wife. With all the significant life changes and added responsibilities, I have not had much time to focus on myself. Life is good, and I'm making progress. However, I feel like I need to be in touch with my feelings, dreams, and desires more.
Before the pandemic, I had a planning day once every quarter, where I went to the library to prepare for the quarter ahead. It helped me revisit my goals, evaluate my progress, and learn from areas where I was not accomplishing what I planned. The alone time really helped me sit with my thoughts.

2022 has been a very intense year for many people worldwide. The list of things that are going wrong seems quite long. Living in these times has a real impact on our mental health and outlook on our future. I have been more intentional about making sure my mind is healthy and that I am hopeful for the future.
 
In this blog post, we will explore things we can do to regain hope and stay optimistic.
 
Focus on things that are going well
It is very easy to see and think about the things that are going wrong. We need to be more intentional about taking stock of things that are going well. Our minds do not automatically do this, and practice is required to make it easier.
 
Questions to consider

• What are three things that made you smile in recent times?
• What have you accomplished lately?

 
Surround yourself with positive people
The people around us play a very important role in helping us have a more positive outlook on life. We all know people who either uplift us or dampen our mood. It is crucial to be mindful of your relationships as they influence your view and emotional wellbeing.
 
Questions to consider

• Who are the people in your inner circle? 
• What types of conversations do you have with people in your life?

 
Take charge of your emotional wellbeing
Often it feels like we do not have control of our happiness and mental wellbeing. We let people and things happening around us determine how we feel. Over the past years, I have reclaimed control of my happiness. It led me on the journey of discovering what affects or increases my joy.
 
Questions to consider

• What makes you happy or sad? 
• Are you in charge of your happiness?

 
Make Changes and Take Action
It is one thing to know what affects your happiness and another to do something about it. I noticed that watching the news made me anxious and made me feel sad about the world. One concrete action I had to take was to cut out the news from my daily routine. It is crucial to make changes that will help you stay happy.
 
Questions to consider

• What changes do you want to make to maintain your happiness?
• Who can hold you accountable for making positive changes? 

 
Add more positive influences to your life
With all the negative things going on in our world, it is crucial for us to add more positivity to our lives. We can prioritize creating moments that bring us joy and laughter. This year, we had a great time with our family and are making an effort to enjoy the beautiful things in life.
 
Questions to consider

• What inspires and excites you?
• What can you do more that makes you happy?

 
Final Thoughts
The other day, I was reflecting on the times we live in and the fact that I cannot remember a time when so many negative things were happening at once. It is definitely an unprecedented time, and we need to do things differently. Take charge of your happiness and enjoy life !!!

On August 9th, 2001, at age 15, I boarded a flight from Lagos, Nigeria, to Frankfurt, Germany. It was the start of my now 21-year journey of living abroad. It feels like such a huge milestone that deserves to be celebrated. My experiences over the past years have shaped who I am and changed the trajectory of my life for the better.
 
In this blog post, I will reflect on the pivotal moments in my life over the past 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
2001: Starting a new life 
Moving from Nigeria to Germany was the start of my new life. I was excited and did not know what to expect. I had visited Germany the year before I moved for a few weeks, but everything was still foreign to me. Although I was born in Germany and spoke German in my very early years, I knew nothing about what it meant to live there. And to top it all, I was moving alone without my sister or mum.
 
2002: Becoming Homeless
One of the moments that shocked my system was not having my own accommodation for over six months in Germany. Luckily I was able to sleep on my friend's couch while I saved to be able to afford my place. I was babysitting to make ends meet and needed some time to move eventually.
 
2003: New beginnings 
In early 2003, my sister moved to Germany, and we moved out into our own. I started working at my first part-time job in Germany to pay for my sister and me to live our lives. Although we didn't have enough, we were satisfied with our lives. I still remember us spending time in our tiny hostel room.
 
2004: Getting my footing
I felt like after my rocky start; I was finally making progress in my life. The first two years were spent learning German and setting the foundation to study in Germany. I was finally able to start studying for my official first degree. During my studies, I worked part-time.
 
2005: Living life as much as I could
Although things were better for me, I felt stuck. I was working part-time jobs to pay our bills and had my own small apartment, but I was not progressing in the course I was studying. I was trying everything I could to make it all work.
 
2006: Going back home
I returned to Nigeria for the first time in five years since I moved to Germany. In addition, I got to spend the summer in the UK. This led me to reevaluate where I was in life, and I decided to make a scary move. I moved from Saarbrucken, where I had lived for almost five years, to Trier. Although it was only an hour away, I left my social network behind and had to start afresh.
 
2007: Restarting my life
Moving to Trier was the 2nd time I had a fresh start in Germany. I remember sitting in my new apartment and crying. This was the loneliest I had ever felt in my life. I felt very frustrated that I had not achieved the goals that I had set even after six years in Germany. My determination to do everything I could to make progress, especially in my studies, was stronger than ever.
 
2008: Feeling a sense of normalcy and then not
After all the setbacks I had experienced, I finally felt I was making progress, but then I hit another bump in the road. I failed a class that made me have to change the course I was studying for the third time. With the learnings I gathered from the other pivots I made in my life, I could make a quick change and continue studying.
 
2009: Running to the finish line
Although I had to change my course again, this time was different; I could finally see the finish line. I had gathered enough class credits through the years and only needed a few classes to complete my degree. I am very grateful to the people who gave me the chance to complete an internship at a bank and an airline. My time there solidified my career path as a project and program manager. And to add a cherry on the top, I started a long-distance relationship with my husband.
 
2010: Graduating from university and earning my first degree
After nine years of being in Germany and seven years of studying, I finally graduated with a Bachelors degree in Business Information systems. It was a huge milestone and an achievement that I worked very hard for. After I graduated, I started my first full-time job as a project manager in a mobile agency.
 
2011: Experiencing my first medical challenge and becoming an aunt
For all my adolescent and young adult life, I experienced extreme pain during my menstrual cycles. And about 15 years later, I had to be operated on to remove multiple large fibroids. Even 11 years later, I still remember the horror on my doctor's face when she did the scans and immediately referred me to the University hospital for the operation within a week. Interestingly, one of the happiest moments in my life also happened at the time. My twin sister gave birth to my niece 11 days after my operation. In addition, my relationship was going strong, and I got to visit my now husband in the US for the first time.
 
2012: Planting the seed for my career growth
I decided to start my Masters while I worked full-time because I knew it would help me progress in my career. I was not in the financial place to pay full for my course, and I remember calling a friend to lend a part of my first tuition payment. I saved up for my upcoming payments and was able to pay my fees in full from then on. I really prioritized studying while I worked full time and made a lot of great progress.
 
2013: Finishing my masters degree
The sense of fulfillment I had when I completed my 2nd degree in record time cannot be described in words. Especially with the difficulty I faced with my first degree, it was huge to be able to get my new degree while I worked full-time successfully. I had accomplished another professional goal that I set for myself.
 
2014: Enjoying life and planning a new start
I got to go on vacation with my now husband; we spent time in Florida and on a cruise to the Bahamas. This was my first real vacation that was not centered around visiting family. I remember going back to Germany and feeling like the time had come for me to embark on my next huge adventure and move to another country.
 
2015: Moving to the US
I jumped on the opportunity to relocate to the US with the company I was working for then. This was one of the scariest moves I made and one that totally changed my life's trajectory for the best. I moved to the US in February 2015 and started my new life. Leaving Germany was harder than I thought after 14 years.
 
2016: Finding my footing in the US
Settling into my new home went very well. Having my husband, who had already mastered living in the US as an immigrant many years before me, made things easier for me. I focused on growing my career by investing in learning with classes at UC Berkeley and working with a career coach. It was clear to me that I had to learn other skills to thrive professionally in the US.  
 
2017: Living my best life 
After two years of living in the US, I was enjoying life both personally and professionally. I had the opportunity to take on a significant task at work that changed my career trajectory. Leading a Program Management Office (PMO) exposed me to people I typically would not have gotten to work with, and it also helped me develop new skills.
 
2018: Returning to Nigeria and Germany
I got to go back to Nigeria after 12 years after my last visit in 2006. We got to see family in Nigeria for a wedding and then go back to Germany for another. Going back to visit my two home countries helped me see how far I had come since I left them. Spending time with family after so many years was so much fun. I knew it was time for me to transition from my job to a new job and intensified my search. One of the challenges I had to navigate as an Immigrant working in the US was the dependency on my work visa. Things came together, and I started a new job at a great company.
 
2019: Trying to balance my success
With great success in my personal and professional life, I struggled with health issues while trying to find my place at a new company. One thing I had learned from the 18 years of living abroad was that I had to be in a place where my contribution was valued, and I could grow. Barely six months into being at this new company, I started looking for a new role. About another five months later, I found a position that aligned with my life's mission, and things started falling into place.
 
2020: Becoming a mother
Interestingly, 2020 was one of the most chaotic years in many of our lives. I found out I was pregnant in early March when the world started falling apart with the global pandemic. In October, our son was born, and my life changed forever. My journey to motherhood was smoother than I expected. I thought it would be more complicated due to the health challenges I had experienced nine years earlier. I am more than thankful for the opportunity to raise our son.
 
2021: Integrating motherhood and my career
When I got back from my maternity leave in February 2021, I was on fire. My desire to be a great mom and have a successful career was strong. I was doing a job that I enjoyed and was determined to continue growing. I had to learn how to integrate being a mother and thriving professionally. There were many ups and downs on the way. Thankfully the ups outweighed the downs.
 
2022: Living my best life
In my 21st year of living abroad, I am at a place where everything has come together nicely in my personal and professional life. There are still lessons that I learn and situations that I do not expect. However, I know that this is where I am destined to be. I have a great family, an amazing job, a sense of purpose, and amazing people around me.
 
Final Thoughts
Reflecting on my journey over the 21 years makes me very proud and appreciative of how far I have come. There have been many complex challenges that I faced and so many great moments that I have experienced. I am very excited to see what other countries I get to live in and where I will be in another 21 years.
 
Pictures speak louder than words - 21 years of my life

To be successful in our careers, we need to be intentional about the steps we take toward our growth and development. When I think about one thing that has helped me build a successful career, it is that I have leveraged my strengths professionally. We are good at things and do not leverage them enough at work.
 
In this blog post, I will share how to leverage your strengths professionally and grow your career. Check out my other "Her Career" blog for more tips and resources.
 
MC's Journey
Right from when I was a child, people talked about how I talked too much, asked too many questions, and was bossy. Little did they know those traits would make me a great program manager over 30 years later. At various points on my journey, I have had to remind myself of my strengths and ensure I am leveraging them. Some of the ways that I leverage my top 5 strengths include:

• Learner: I have acquired new skills over the years and have continued to prioritize learning in my career
• Relator: interacting with people is a core part of my job, and being good at connecting with people helps me be more impactful
• Focus: with so many distractions in a very fast-paced industry, I can stay focused on the priorities that we set
• Responsibility: as a program manager, I am responsible for delivering work. I take my responsibility very seriously and make sure I keep my word
• Achiever: working towards accomplishing goals energizes me, and I get to do that in my job

 
How to apply your strengths at work
 
Discover your strengths
Knowing what you are good at is the first step toward leveraging your strengths. If you had asked me about ten years ago what my strengths were, I would not have been able to articulate them clearly. I started working with a career coach when I moved to the US over seven years ago; one of the first things she asked me to do was to spend time thinking about my strengths. I knew I was very good at certain things but could not articulate them clearly. Especially at work, it is crucial to know what your strengths are.
 
Strategies to consider

• Spend time thinking about your strengths. I recommend the CliftonStrengths self-assessment
• Ask people you work with what they think you are good at

 
Seek out opportunities to put your unique strengths to use
You shine when you are using your strengths. As you choose the projects and initiatives that you want to work on, seek out ones where you can apply your strengths. Becoming a project manager, I knew that I would excel because I like to plan things and am organized. As I have progressed in my career, I have applied other strengths, such as working with global teams. Given my background living in different countries, I have learned how to navigate connecting with people from diverse backgrounds. This greatly influenced my decision to work as a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion program manager.
 
Strategies to consider

• Look for projects that align with your strengths and interests
• Volunteer to work on projects or initiatives where you can apply your strengths

 
Talk about your strengths
One way to let people know what you are good at is by celebrating your achievements. There is so much power in telling your story and highlighting the strengths that helped you accomplish your goals. I had to learn how to talk about my strengths. It was hard to speak up when I knew I was good at something that would help our team succeed. Observing others speak about their strengths helped me develop that skill and improve. I leverage avenues such as performance evaluations and work presentations to showcase my strengths.
 
Strategies to consider

• Share your strengths with your team and managers 
• Showcase what you are good at 

 
Teach others the skills you have
I have learned that one way to amplify my strengths is to share my knowledge with others. Although I am a passionate learner, I did not know the value of teaching others. I discovered that when I teach others, they benefit a lot, and my strengths increase. Initially, I offered to teach people things I excel at, and now they come to me to seek my expertise.
 
Strategies to consider

• Offer your support to people who could benefit from learning something you are good at
• Think about ways to share your strengths with your team and organization

 
Continue to grow your strengths
Part of a growth mindset is believing you can always get better even at things you do very well. Recently, I have been leading a program that has multiple phases. One of the things I noticed was that I was looking for ways to do things smartly and be more effective with every new launch. I am very intentional about learning new ways to leverage and grow my strengths.
 
Strategies to consider

• Learn new skills and discover ways to increase our strengths
• Track how your strengths have evolved over time

 
Final Thoughts
It feels great to know that we can apply our strengths and grow professionally. I really like to see all my team members showcasing their strengths. You have something unique to contribute to your professional community.
 
Time for Reflection
What are your top three strengths?
How have you been leveraging your strengths at work so far?
How would you like to leverage your strengths more at work?

With six months of this year behind us, it is a great time to reflect. Reflecting on my experiences this year, I was amazed at how much I have to be grateful. I had to be intentional about celebrating the highlights because focusing on the hardships and lowlights is very easy. Gratitude is a practice that helps me adjust my perspective. Research also shows that reflecting on what you are grateful for makes you a happy human.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for. Check out my post "Are you thinking about the good things in your life?" for ten questions you can ask yourself as you reflect on the great things happening in your life.
 
#1: Watching our son grow
In the almost two years that our son has been a part of our lives, he has grown and developed beautifully. I am grateful every day that I watch him grow and learn new things. The way he smiles at me is something that I can not explain in words.
 
#2: Being able to spend time with family
This past June, we spent time with our family for the first time in four years. It was very special because our son got to meet his aunties and uncles. I am very thankful for all the laughter and memories we created together.
 
#3: Accomplishing key career milestones
For many years I have been setting a foundation for a successful career. It all started coming together this year. I have had many great career successes this year that have made me very proud.
 
#4: Being physically healthy
Over the last years, I have struggled with gastritis, which typically flairs up when I am stressed. Being sick in my gut took out the joy of eating and caused a lot of getting used. I'm very thankful that this year has been better for me physically, and I have not suffered as much.
 
#5: Being mentally healthy
This year, I have been swamped and felt the weight of all my responsibilities. One of the practices that have helped me is to check in on my mental health regularly and do things that de-stress me and bring me joy. I can confidently say that my mental health is good.
 
#6: Being physically safe
There have been a lot of things that have happened to people in places where I live or have lived in the past. I am very grateful that my family and I are safe. Physical safety is one of our basic needs, and it is sadly not available to everyone.
 
#7: Learning new skills
One of the things that bring me joy is learning a new skill. With the pandemic and having a baby, I had not been able to invest the time in learning since 2020. Sitting in a class and learning made me very happy. I'm very grateful to add new skills to my portfolio.
 
#8: Having a passion project
Fulfilling my purpose is something that is a priority in my life. I feel balanced when I get to do things that I am passionate about. In this phase of my life, I am doing what I can to support the women around me. My weekly blog is one of the components of my passion project. I am grateful to have a way to contribute to my community positively.
 
#9: Being happy and content
Compared to the other phases of my life so far, I am happier now. In addition to things in my life mainly going well, I have learned to guide my happiness. I am happy with the progress I am making toward my goals and very grateful for the life I have.
 
#10: Feeling excited about the future
Sometimes we let the fear of the unknown take over. When I think about my future, I am very excited. Thinking about my goals, creating plans, and taking action toward building the life I want to live makes me happy. I am grateful that I am in a place where I can lay the building blocks for the life that I desire.
 
Final Thoughts
It is very easy to remember things that have not gone well in our lives. Reflecting on the highlights and documenting them gives you a place you can always go back to when you need a reminder. We all have a lot to be grateful for.
 
Call to Action 
What are three things that you are grateful for?
How will you remind yourself of the good things in your life?