MC's Perspective
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Toolkit
  • Groups
    • Group Insights
    • Group Intake

What I am Proud of as an Immigrant

5/7/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
In the 21 years that I have lived abroad, I had a mix of experiences. Some of them were good while others were not so cool. However, overall my journey has been amazing. There are many moments that I am proud of and still amazed at how my life has tuned out. I never imagined that I would be where I am today.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that I am proud of accomplishing in 21 years of living abroad. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Becoming independent

At the young age of 15, I moved from Nigeria to Germany. It was the official start of me having to fend for myself and make critical decisions. I felt so grown-up back then, and now when I think back, I realize how young I really was. Being so young and figuring out my life is something that makes me very proud.
 
#2: Paying for my way through school
I will forever be grateful to all the families that allowed me to care for their children. The money I made from babysitting, working in cafes, and on-campus helped pay for my life as a student. I know it's a big deal that I was able to support myself and my sister financially.
 
#3: Earning my first and second degree
If you had followed my story, you would know that it took me longer than expected to get my first degree. I changed my under-grad course twice, and it took me about seven years to finally get my Bachelors degree. That did not stop me from going ahead to start my Masters. I decided to study part-time while I worked my full-time job. Finishing my Masters degree in the planned time is something I am very proud of.
 
#4: Getting my German passport
One of the most complex parts of being an immigrant is securing a visa or legal stay approval. For ten years of living in Germany, I was on a visa that granted me a short time stay of six months. This was a very stressful process, and I felt really relieved when I was finally eligible to apply for a German passport. The truth is that traveling and living in other countries became much more accessible than when I only had a Nigerian passport.
 
#5: Building my family and home
My family is one of my biggest accomplishments in life. I have people that I love and get to spend my life with. In addition, finding a place where I really feel at home was not always easy. I am proud of the fact that I have been able to have my family, find my place, and be settled now.
 
#6: Being able to give back 
I feel very fortunate to be able to meet my own needs and support people around me. Years ago, I was struggling to afford my basic needs. Being financially stable was the first step, and then I was able to start building wealth that helped me afford to invest in my loved ones' lives as well.
 
#7: Following my passions
In the early days of my journey, I focused more on surviving and didn't have much time to invest in my passion projects. The truth is that I didn't know what I was passionate about. In recent years, I have been able to spend more time doing things that I really enjoy. My blog is one of the things that I have always wanted to do, and I have finally gotten to do it.
 
#8: Having a successful career
I started as a babysitter and worked many minimum wage jobs to pay my way through college. After graduating, I started building my career as a project manager from scratch. I did not have the access or network that some of my peers did. It took a lot of hard work to achieve the professional success that I have experienced so far.
 
#9: Finding happiness in life
On my journey living abroad, I have experienced a lot of ups and downs. It took me a long time to get to a place where I was genuinely happy. I am now at a place in my life where I feel satisfied and excited for the future.
 
#10: Staying true to who I am
As an immigrant, your identity is a complex topic to navigate. I have lived in many countries and have been influenced by many life experiences. I now know who I am and am confident in what I can offer the world.
 
Final Thoughts
Reflecting on the past 21 years, I am very grateful for how far I have come. Although the first years were very rocky, I am where I was destined to be. All my experiences made me who I am today.
0 Comments

About your Goals - June 2022 Progress Check-in

26/6/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
We made it through the first six months of 2022. I say this in every goal check-in; it seems like the time is going by very quickly. We have had a mix of great and not-so-great experiences. There is so much that happens in our lives in only six months.
 
In this blog post, we will check in on our progress towards our goals in the first half-year, and I will share an update on my top goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life.
 
Step 1: Reflect on H1 2022
This is a great point to reflect on the last six months. Remind yourself of your goals for the year and the actions you took towards accomplishing them. I have learned the importance of reflecting on the progress I am making multiple times during the year versus only once a year. 
 
Resource: Check out "10 questions to reflect on your year" for some tips
 
Questions to consider
  • What is one word or phrase that would describe 2022 so far?   
  • Have you taken care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?   
 
Step 2: Celebrate your Accomplishments 
One of the critical activities that we neglect is reflecting on the good that has happened in our lives. There is a lot to be learned from the goals that you have accomplished. Make the time to evaluate the progress you have made towards the goals you set.
 
Resource: Check out "How to start celebrating your accomplishments" for some tips
 
Questions to consider
  • Which of your goals have you made progress on?   
  • What tools, resources, and routines helped you be successful? 
  • What is one of your accomplishments so far in 2022? 
  • How did you celebrate your accomplishments? 
 
Step 3: Reflect on Lowlights and lessons learned 
I am sure you can easily list the things that did not go as planned this year. As you reflect on those things, it is critical to think about the lessons you learned from the experiences. Some of the most valuable lessons that we learn come because we are intentional about reflecting on things that did not work out with the intent of improving ourselves
 
Resource: Check out "How to develop a Growth Mindset" 
for some tips
 
Questions to consider
  • Which of your goals have you not made progress on?  
  • What are three lessons that you learned? 
 
Step 4: Refresh your plan for H2 2022
Now that you have reflected on your accomplishments and lessons learned, it is time to start planning for the next six months of the year. Think about the goals that you want to accomplish and the actions you want to take to make 2022 your best year ever. 
 
Resource: Check out "How to make the next months count" for some tips
 
Questions to consider
  • What do you want to do differently in H2 2022?  
  • What are three things you want to accomplish next quarter or half-year? 
 
Step 5: Commit to taking action 
It is great to set goals and have aspirations for the future that you want to live. However, what brings the results you want are the actions that you take. You have the power and ability to work towards your goals - one step at a time. 
 
Resource: Check out "How to get things done in a very busy world" for some tips
 
Questions to consider
  • How will you track your progress and ensure you are sticking to your goals?
 
 
MC's Journey: Progress update H1 2022
These past six months have been very intense for me. I have been doing a lot in my private and professional life. 
  • Personal: Prioritize self-care and create sustainable routines
    • Highlight: While I was on vacation, I went shopping for myself to renew my summer wardrobe. It had been a while since I did that
    • Lowlight: I did not have enough time for myself. My time for rest, regeneration, and self-care was used for other things that I was responsible for. 
    • What am I planning to do differently?
      • I need to be more intentional about planning time for myself. To do things for me, I need to work on adding them to my calendar. 
  • Family: Make memories and enjoy our time as a family
    • Highlight: Visiting family for the first time in four years (check out my blog post about how I spent my summer)
    • What am I planning to do next?
      • Over the next months, I am looking forward to introducing our son to more social activities that we could not do because of the pandemic
  • Professional: Expand my sphere of influence and lead programs that reach more people
    • Highlight: Becoming a people manager again (check out my blog post about how I am navigating this professional milestone)
    • Lowlight: I have a lot on my plate at work and have been overworking.
    • What am I doing differently?
      • Over the past week, I have been trying to end work by a certain time every day and go to sleep
  • Financial: Set the financial foundation for our next investment projects
    • Highlight: I have given myself the permission to spend some money on things that I enjoy
    • Lowlight: The basic needs in life have gotten very expensive. It is out of my control, so I am learning to accept it
    • What am I planning to do next?
      • There is a lot that I will be learning about our next investment to ensure we make the right decision 
  • Business: Grow our community of women and create helpful content
    • Highlight: I am really proud that I have been able to publish a blog post every week this year. Some weeks were hard, but I did it
    • Lowlight: My YouTube channel is something I plan to restart this year. I have not yet found time to dedicate to it. I am telling myself that the time will come
    • What am I planning to do differently?
      • When the time is right, I want to strategize and plan for the relaunch of my YouTube channel 
  • Learning: develop the skills needed for the next phase of my career 
    • Highlight: I attended my first training and enjoyed being in a learning environment
    • What am I planning to do next?
      • I have scheduled my next training that starts in August
  • Bold Goal: Take the next step higher in my career
    • Current status: I have accomplished my first goal, and I am now envisioning my career long term
 
Final Thoughts
Taking time to reflect on your last six months and plan for the next months is crucial. I am very thankful for all that I have experienced in 2022, and I look forward to the next six months.
 
Call to Action
What are three things that you have enjoyed in the last six months? 
What are you looking forward to over the next six months?
0 Comments

How I am discovering what Fatherhood means this Father's Day

21/6/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Welcoming a child to the world affected me in ways I did not expect. It has helped me discover what fatherhood means. I did not have the opportunity to grow up with a father, so I am learning everything I have learned about a father-child relationship from watching my husband and our son. There is a lot that is written about a Mother's love and little about the beauty of a Father's love.  
 
Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers and Caregivers taking the responsibility of raising the next generation very seriously !!!!
 
In this blog post, I will share some moments when I learned about a father's love from watching the relationship between my husband and our son.
 
#1: The birth of our son
If you speak to any parent that has witnessed the birth of a child, they would probably share the powerful emotions they had during the experience. We had our baby in October 2020 at the height of the Pandemic. My husband could not attend any of the doctor's appointments throughout my pregnancy, so the day of my c-section was the first time he was in that environment. As we prepared to meet our baby, I could see him feel all his emotions at once. When our son was born, his father went into full caring and protection mode. He wanted to ensure our little human was safe and had everything he needed.
 
#2: Our son's ongoing wellbeing 
When we hear about a child's wellbeing, it is often seen as a mother's responsibility. Growing up, I had mostly seen the moms cater to the physical needs of their children, and it was surprising to me. I have seen my husband be a father who cares deeply about our son's physical and emotional health. From birth, we were advised to give our son a massage multiple times a day, and my husband did them for multiple months without fail. Every single day, my husband cuts up our son's fruit and presses his orange juice.
 
#3: The lessons he teaches our son
Seeing my husband impart knowledge to our son and teach him things that I cannot teach him is beautiful. I silently watch their interactions and the pride my husband feels when our son remembers something he taught him. It takes a lot of time investment and love to teach children new skills.
 
#4: Hearing my husband talk about our son
The love with which my husband speaks about our son is immense. Sometimes even when we experience the same things, hearing my husband tell the stories fills my heart with renewed joy. He celebrates every milestone and exciting experience.
 
#5: The deep and lasting bond between a Father & Child
The moment when I see my husband melt because my son gave him a hug, looked for him, and smiled when he saw him, reminds me of the powerful bond they have. Every single morning, one of the first things our son does is look for his daddy. It warms my heart to see their love.
 
Final Thoughts
One lesson that I am learning is that you can experience whole and great relationships by watching others. People often asked me if I missed having a father. The answer is not really because you can't miss what you never had. However, what I can now say is that I have more of an appreciation for great fathers and caregivers.
0 Comments

Managing Self-doubt when you Accomplish Professional Goals

11/6/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Recently, I achieved a professional goal that I have been working towards for many years – I became a people manager again. I was a people manager in my last company and wanted to go back to managing a team. This huge accomplishment came with many mixed emotions for me. The first emotion I felt was excitement that my professional dream had come true, and then the feelings of self-doubt started to creep in. 
 
In this blog post, I will share the five tips that are helping me navigate and enjoy this phase of my professional life. I am writing this post as a reminder for myself and valuable tips for anyone out there who is working through similar experiences. 
 
#1: Celebrate your accomplishments  
When my manager sent the email to my team announcing that I was becoming a Manager, I had a smile on my face and was very happy. My journey to get here was a multi-year process that was not smooth or straightforward. I knew that I needed to celebrate this significant milestone. However, it felt easier to keep moving as if everything was normal. The good thing was that I got to spend some time with my family, and they celebrated my accomplishment with me.  
 
Why is this important? 
  • Celebrating your accomplishment tells your mind that it is real  
 
#2: Accept the trust that people have in your abilities 
Self-doubt makes you think you don't deserve to be where you are or accomplish something big. It helps to get extra confirmation from people you trust. In my case, the people telling me that I will be great in my new role have worked with me for years and know my work. I have decided to listen to them and believe their kind words. It is very easy to brush off the positive things that people say about you because we think they don't mean it as a way to diminish our contributions.  
 
Why is this important? 
  • Hearing other people's confidence in your abilities helps you believe in yourself even more 
 
#3: Acknowledge your emotions  
Over the past weeks, I have had multiple emotions – happiness, overwhelm, excitement, and more. Right now, the emotions I feel are mostly a sense of responsibility because I want to do right by my team. I want to be the best manager that they need to feel valued, respected, and that they can thrive professionally. Over my journey, I have learned that it is important to acknowledge when I am feeling self-doubt and causing myself not to enjoy a key milestone.  
 
Why is this important? 
  • Knowing what you are feeling gives you clarity and the ability to deal with your emotions 
 
#4: Set your goals and gain clarity of where you want to go 
One of the effects of self-doubt on me is that I get too scared to think about the future. Many people who talk about their imposter syndrome will tell you that it stops them from envisioning a time when they accomplish even bigger things. When something big happens, I worry about the increased responsibilities and my desire to over-achieve. Setting goals helps me plan for the future and get concrete about the steps I will be taking to accomplish them. 
 
Why is this important? 
  • Writing down what you want to accomplish makes it seem achievable
 
#5: Believe in yourself and make bold moves on your journey 
As much as your mind might be telling you that you don't deserve to be here, the truth is that you have worked very hard to accomplish everything you have. It takes a lot of self-talk and continuous personal work to guard against self-doubt. You need to keep making bold moves and not let self-doubt stop you from accomplishing great things. 
 
Why is this important? 
  • Believing in your skills and abilities will help you accomplish great things 
 
Final Thoughts 
If you feel overwhelmed by the great things happening in your life, you are not alone, and it is perfectly fine. Although I am very excited about my journey ahead, I am still actively walking through self-doubt. I'll keep you all posted on my progress in this new phase of my journey. ​
0 Comments

MC's Journey: A summer to remembeR

7/6/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
After everything we have been through over the last years, I wanted to share an experience that renewed my energy and gave me hope for the future. I got to spend time with some of our family members. Writing these words fills my heart with immense joy. The last time we saw our family, we thought we would get to meet them again in about a year. 
 
One of the lessons that I learned during the pandemic was to seize any opportunity to spend time with people that we love. Our trip was very spontaneous. I was running up on the maximum vacation time that I could accrue before I started losing vacation days, and my husband was also able to take time off. So we took the plunge and embarked on a three-week family trip. 
 
This was the first time we had seen our family members in the UK in four years. We had planned a family reunion in June 2020, which we canceled due to the pandemic. It was heartbreaking to miss time with our family. In May 2022, we get to enjoy some amazing family time. 
 
In this blog post, I will share five things that I was reminded of on this trip. 
 
#1: Family is precious 
As a result of living in different countries, I have been physically away from my family. I have not lived in the same location as my mother for 21 years and from my twin sister for over 16 years. We have had the opportunity to see each other for a very limited time during that time. We have mostly stayed connected virtually. However, holding my new nephew, hugging my niece, and connecting with our extended family was a priceless experience. 
 
#2: Don't compromise on things that are important to you 
In the past, when I had been on vacation, I compromised on things that were important to me. I was trying to save money and adjust to other people's needs or did not even know what was important to me. This trip was different; I knew that I really cared about comfortable places to stay, great food, and taking my time to enjoy the experience. I took my time and planned the things that were important to me and did them. Our trip was much more fun because my basic desires were met.  
 
#3: Don't let fear stop you  
This trip was the first flight with our 19-month-old son, and we decided to embark on a 10-hour flight from San Francisco to London. Those of you who have kids know the feelings that arise when you think of a long flight with a toddler. I had played all the horror scenarios in my mind of things that could go wrong on our flight. I am very fortunate to have such an amazing husband and a toddler who adapted very quickly to the new circumstances. I am glad that I did not let fear rule me. 
 
#4: Enjoy the moments  
I have always tried to capture beautiful moments and memories. There were so many beautiful moments on this trip that I wished I was recording all the time so I did not miss anything. All the laughter, our son playing with his cousins, and the beautiful sights and new places I visited are memories I will never forget. I made it a priority to enjoy every moment to the fullest.  
 
#5: Enjoy the fruit of your labor 
Over my vacation, I reflected on one of the things that I have struggled with for the past years. Due to my experiences with financial difficulty growing up, it is hard for me to spend money on things that I want. I have been hyper-focused on building a solid financial foundation and spending on my needs. The thought of splurging on things because they improve my experience makes me uncomfortable. One of my colleagues shared that she tells herself that she can do nice things for herself because she works hard. That simple thought made me open to doing things for myself, even if they cost me more than normal. It was worth it, and I am glad that I chose to invest in my well-being. 
 
Final Thoughts 
This trip was memorable on many levels. I am very thankful for the privilege we had to travel, spend time with family, and enjoy new experiences. Sometimes it feels like work and all the responsibilities have taken over our lives. It is time for us to prioritize enjoying our lives. 
 
Call To Action 
What is one thing you have wanted to do? 
When will you take the bold step and do something you want? 
Picture
0 Comments

The Immigrant's experience that we never talk about

27/5/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Over the past 21 years, I have had the privilege of living in the US and Germany. I have been reflecting on my journey living abroad and thinking about things I do not talk about often. I acknowledge that there are many experiences of immigrants that I will not be covering because not all experiences are the same, yet we have many similarities.
 
In this blog post, I will share things about my experience and other immigrants that I have come across on my journey. We could talk about this topic for a very long time. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: You will always stand out 

If you live as an immigrant in another country, you will undoubtedly stand out. It is a massive adjustment to now be noticed, especially for those who have lived in countries where we blended in. The status of an immigrant follows you everywhere you go. I have learned to accept that as part of my life experience.

 
#2: You always think about your differences 
As immigrants, we have many differences from the majority of the people in the countries we live in. The differences range from race, ethnicity, language, social-economic, religion, background, and many others. We are very aware of our differences every single day.
 
#3: You live with the thought of being denied a visa/stay and having to go back to your home countries
Part of most immigrant journeys starts with a temporary visa or approval to stay for a limited time. With that comes the knowledge that your stay could be revoked, and you may be asked to return to your home country. In fact, even after you get a passport from your new home country, the thought stays in the back of your mind.
 
#4: You don't have access to a lot of things
When I went to university in Germany, the access differences from my German counterparts were very noticeable. I always wished I had the knowledge, networks, financial support, and access that other students had. We make it work, but the path there is more challenging.
 
#5: You do not know some systematic structures and processes
I still think back to when I arrived in the US and faced challenges getting a credit card because I did not have credit. This was totally new to me as Germany does not have the same financial structures. I have a very long list of things I wish I had known early. Even after living abroad for over 21 years, there are still some things that I don't know and learn.
 
#6: Finding a place to get your hair done might be a challenge
Immigrants who have a different hair texture from the predominant group in the country they now live in will understand this. My friends did my hair for many years because I could not find a place to get my hair braided when I moved to Germany. This contributed to me deciding to cut my hair low because it helped me.
 
#7: You will miss food and other things you enjoy
This was actually the first thing that came to my mind. My immigrant experience would not be complete without me talking about food. It is one of the things that connects me with my culture. 21 years ago, when I started my journey as an immigrant, food from different countries was not as readily accessible. Interestingly, till today, there are some foods that I have not eaten since I left Nigeria.
 
#8: You may face discrimination 
This post would not be complete if I didn't mention the fact that many immigrants face discrimination for their race, ethnicity, language, social-economic, religion, background, and other differences. A lot of immigrants do not share their negative experiences. My hope is that people will have more inclusive experiences.
 
#9: People often underestimate your abilities 
The status of an immigrant and someone who is different sometimes makes people think that you are unable to achieve big goals. Every time I hear about immigrants that have paved their way and are doing great things, I am very proud. I have had the opportunity to work with people from different backgrounds who are amazing at what they do.
 
#10: Your view of the world is multifaceted 
One of the things I appreciate the most about being an immigrant is that my perfective has been enriched by every country I live in and all my experiences. There is something special about learning new cultures or languages and building a new life from scratch in a new country.
 
Final Thoughts
Our world is more multi-cultural now than at any other time in history, and it's a beautiful thing. Seeing fellow immigrants makes me appreciate my journey even more. A lot of people experience good and bad things daily. Please contribute to making the world a place where everyone, irrespective of their background. To all the immigrants out there, keep being great! 
0 Comments

What I wish I knew about Mental Health growing up

24/5/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a reminder for us to prioritize our Mental Health. I have been reflecting on my thoughts about mental health at this stage in my life and the lessons that I learned on my journey.
 
In this blog post, I will share five things that I know about mental health that would have saved me some painful experiences if I had learned them in my childhood.
 
#1: Check-in on your mental health often
Interestingly, it is very easy to go through life and forget to check in on how you are doing mentally. It took me a while to realize that I was not aware of the state of my mental health. Sadly, I got to a place where I was really struggling before I started making changes. Knowing that I have a lot going on in my life, I am now very intentional about making sure my mental health is good. When I start feeling the impact of neglecting myself, I take action to get back into alignment.
 
What am I doing differently now? 
  • Asking myself how I am really doing at least once a week and talking with my support community
 
#2: You need to unlearn a lot you learned about mental health 
We all learned what we know about mental health from society, family, and friends. Some of the lessons serve us well, and others do not. It is our responsibility to unlearn some of those lessons and learn ways to care for our mental health. One of the things that I had to let go of was that it was a sign of strength to hide your feelings. By observing the people and hearing conversations around me, I learned to suppress emotions that led to me feeling a lot of internal stress and negatively impacted my mental health.
 
What am I doing differently now? 
  • Learning to speak about the challenges I am facing and take off the emotional load
 
#3: Do not let the stigma around Mental health stop you from getting help
There is still a lot of stigma around getting additional support when you need it. The way people talk about therapy and other mental health resources that can help your mental health can sometimes be discouraging. It is crucial to acknowledge when you need help and get the help you need. This is something that will help you live a great life and thrive.
 
What am I doing differently now? 
  • Leveraging the resources that help me take care of my mental health
 
#4: You need a community of people who care about mental health
Surrounding yourself with people who are aware and intentional about maintaining their mental health will make a huge difference. They help you see that you are not alone with whatever struggles you have, and we can all be there for each other through the good and bad days. Having honest conversations about how I'm doing mentally has really made a difference in my life. When I have check-ins with my support community, it helps remind me that things will always get better.
 
What am I doing differently now?
  • Sharing my honest feelings with people I trust 
 
#5: Show yourself some compassion and grace
Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, which makes things worse for our emotional well-being. In situations where I spent time judging myself for feeling a certain way, it did not help me at all. It was easier for me to understand other people struggling with their mental health and give them grace, but I struggled to do the same for myself. When I feel down, I need to stop judging myself for how I feel. Being kind to myself relieves my stress and improves my mental health.
 
What am I doing differently now?
  • Being kind to myself when I am struggling and bring hopeful that things will get better for me 
 
Final Thoughts
Talking about our mental health needs to become a regular aspect of our lives. We share other physical health practices such as exercise or a healthy diet; imagine a world where people feel more comfortable sharing their mental health and getting help when needed.
 
Call to Action 
How are you maintaining your mental health? Prioritize your mental health
What have you learned about mental health that you want to unlearn? Unlearn things that do not serve you
0 Comments

Are you thinking about the good things in your life?

17/5/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
This past weekend while I was trying to put my 19-month-old son to sleep unsuccessfully, I started thinking about how easy it was to get upset and be in a bad mood. I was looking down on him and decided to focus on the good things that were happening in my life. A lot is going on in our lives that can make us feel frustrated if we focus on them. If you feel the weight of life on your shoulders, you are not alone. One thing we can control is our mindset. Sometimes, we need to actively remind ourselves of the good that is happening in our lives.
 
In this blog post, we will ask ourselves ten questions that will help us adjust our perspective and focus on the positive things in our lives.
 
#1: What was the last thing that made you smile? 
Think back on the happy feelings you feel when someone does something nice for you or has a great experience. As I write this post, I am smiling at the things in my life that have made me happy recently. One realization that I had is that with a child, many cute moments make us smile.
 
#2: What was a recent compliment someone gave you? 
Although I believe that we should not base our happiness on what others say to us, I do value the external perspective that people can give you by recognizing a great thing that you have done.
 
#3: How have the people in your life contributed positively to you?
The people that we surround ourselves with play a vital role. I feel very blessed to have great people in my life who have added significant value. My family and friends are a crucial part of my journey, and they make me feel supported. The amazing people in my life are a gift in many ways. I am grateful that I have great people who are my life companions.
 
#4: What was one recent accomplishment at work?
We spend a lot of time working towards our professional goals. It is time to celebrate all we have accomplished at work this year. We often let our professional accomplishments go unnoticed.
 
#5: What was the latest new memory you created? 
We live in a time where we get to capture moments in pictures, videos, or other digital ways. Look back on your recent pictures and re-live the beautiful moments you have had.
 
#6: What was the last very delicious meal you ate? 
Food is one of the highlights of my life. It might just be me, but it makes me happy when I think of good things that I have gotten to eat.
 
#7: What was the last fun activity that you did?
Doing something you really enjoy is a great way to evoke happy feelings. Think about a great time you had recently.
 
#8: What new thing have you learned lately?
Growing and learning new skills are necessary to live the amazing lives we desire. I am always excited when I acquire a new skill or a life lesson. Adding knowledge to my toolkit helps me prepare for the future.
 
#9: What was the last thing you did to celebrate yourself?
It is very easy to remember to celebrate with others and forget about yourself. I have always admired people who made it a point to celebrate all of their milestones. It could be a birthday, promotion, anniversary, or other pivotal moments in your life. Think about how you felt when you celebrated yourself.
 
#10: When was the last time you were your authentic self?
Being our authentic selves makes us happy and feel fulfilled. Celebrate the moments when you were true to yourself. You are who you were destined to be.
 
Final Thoughts - MC's Story
Writing this blog post reminded me of the amazing things that have happened in my life this year. I am very grateful for all the "highlights" and great memories. My life is far from perfect. However, it is filled with many happy moments and memories. The next time that I am feeling down. I will come back to this post and ask myself these questions.
0 Comments

Lessons on becoming a Mother

10/5/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mothers and caregivers!!! Being a mother has been one of the journeys in my life that have turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. Getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term was scary to me initially due to my prior health history. The interesting turns continued with having a baby during a global pandemic. Now I have a toddler who is discovering the world. I am very grateful for all my experiences.
 
In this blog post, I will share ten questions that I reflect on very often about motherhood. This is only the start of a great learning life-long journey.
 
How has being a mother changed my identity?
The concept of motherhood is beyond the point when the child joins the family. Over my pregnancy and the 18 months of my son's life, I have reflected on how motherhood has changed who I am. While the code of who I am and my values have not changed, and my perspective has shifted significantly.
 
What does being a good mother mean?

One thought that keeps me going is that I am the best mother for my son. We both get to define our relationship, learn from each other and grow. The image of a perfect mother does not exist because our journeys are different. I have seen that even my twin sister is s very different mother to her children.
 
Can I be a good working mother?
As far as I can remember, my mum worked and cared for my sister and me in my childhood. I have been fortunate to see working mothers who have successful careers and are excellent caregivers. This is the path that I have chosen for myself, and I am extremely fulfilled by being able to work on building a successful career and growing my family.
 
How do I avoid the pressures of motherhood?
For my mental health, I try not to put myself in a place where I feel I have to be like someone else. After I had my son, I stopped reading posts and articles from mothers who portrayed perfection. I struggled with breastfeeding my baby and felt judged by what I was reading. Shutting out those external stressors made my life much better. Everything you read, watch, or listen to is a snapshot of someone's life that they choose to share with you.
 
What is one thing that keeps me going?
My son is one of my biggest motivators. I want to give him all he needs to live a happy, kind, and fulfilled life. I have always been self-motivated and driven to do my best. However, now more than ever, I know why I am working hard at accomplishing my goals.
 
What is my favorite part of being a mum?
When I feel like the world stops and everything is perfect, my son smiles at me. In those moments, I am reminded that our son lives a great life and is happy. What more can I want beyond knowing that he is being who he was destined to be.
 
Who are my "tribe" on this motherhood journey?
Having a baby during a pandemic made our circle very small. We spent the first year of our son's life mostly indoors. My husband has been a strong partner on this parenthood journey. We both jumped right into caring for our family to the best of our abilities. I have learned a lot from my mum, sister, aunties, friends, and the great women in my life.
 
What am I currently learning?
I am learning to accept that my situation is unique and have given myself the grace to be flexible. I have to do some things in this phase of my life as a mother and career. Instead of seeking balance, I am accepting that some things might need to be prioritized higher than others at certain times.
 
What do I need to unlearn?
Many mothers will tell you about the guilt that plagues them because they think they are falling short of the standard of a good mother. I wonder who set the expectations of what motherhood should be like. There are a lot of variables that make all of our experiences different. Getting rid of the guilt is the only way for us to find happiness and be content.
 
What do I want to do more of?
The last 18 months have been an awesome journey, and I am excited about the future. I want to build many more happy memories with my family. Having fun is not something that comes easy to me, and I know that I need to be very intentional about enjoying life. I am committed to savoring every moment we spend together as a family.
 
Final Thoughts
I feel very fortunate to have a little human who I get to watch grow. Every day of motherhood is a gift. Some days are challenging, and we need to make difficult decisions. However, there is a lot of joy on this journey to becoming the mother I am meant to be.
0 Comments

How being an Immigrant changed my life

2/5/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Over my lifetime, I have had the privilege of living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Twenty-one years ago, when I moved to Germany and started my experience as an immigrant, I had no idea where I would be. My journey has had many highs and lows. I know for certain that this is the life I was meant to be living and would not change it for anything.
 
In this blog post, I will share five ways being an immigrant impacted my life. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Allowed me to see more of the world
Since I left Nigeria in 2001, I have been fortunate to visit ten countries on four continents. Growing up in Kaduna, a city in northern Nigeria, everything that I knew about the world was what I saw on TV. Seeing the world's beauty, learning about new cultures, and eating good food has made my journey amazing. I am looking forward to other countries that I will get to see over the next years.
 
Made me independent and taught me to work for what I want
Leaving home at the age of 15, I had to grow up very quickly and make decisions independently. I learned a lot by being brave and learning from my mistakes. My upbringing prepared me a little for the challenges I faced. When I hear people talk about things they inherited or have gotten without working for, I wonder what it feels like. Over the years, I have had to work very hard to get financial stability, achieve professional success, and live my life. I now know that if I want something, I can work towards it, and I do not need to wait for someone to make it possible for me.
 
Helped me own my identity
My cultural identity was something I was unsure of growing up in Nigeria. I was born in Germany to a Nigerian single mother, spent my childhood in Nigeria, and moved to Germany when I was 15. Not knowing my German roots always raised questions in my childhood. When I moved to Germany, I embraced my Nigerian identity, especially the food. Years later, when I moved to the US, I celebrated my German culture. I can now confidently say that I am German-Nigerian.
 
Taught me how to adapt to change
When I was younger, my response to the question about what one of my weaknesses was to say that I was scared of change. After 21 years of constant change, I now know that I am very resilient and adapt very well to new situations. I have lost count of the number of times that things changed in my life. I have experienced multiple transitions from moving to new homes, changing jobs, meeting new people, and settling into new countries. I have become very used to change and no longer fear the impact of life changes.
 
Changed the trajectory of my life 
Looking back on my childhood and humble beginnings, life was very different from how things are now. Being an immigrant has given me the greatest life that I could never have imagined I would have. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I did not leave Nigeria to start a new life in Germany and then also when I moved to the US years later. The last 21 years have made me my best self.
 
Final Thoughts
There are many aspects of my journey that I have taken for granted. Reflecting on the ways my life has changed reminded me of how strong all my experiences have made me.
Picture
0 Comments

How to take ownership of your motivation

26/4/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
In our lives, we experience many ups and downs. I have realized that it is very easy to stay motivated when things are going well. However, it is challenging to keep being motivated when unexpected things happen or when you feel stressed with everything going on in your life. To thrive and live our best lives, we need to develop strategies to maintain our motivation irrespective of what we are going through.
 
In this blog post, we will explore ways to motivate ourselves in all of life's circumstances.
 
Recognize the power you have over your motivation 
A lot of us look outside for people or things that motivate us. Being dependent on extrinsic motivators makes you give up the power you have. I believe that you can motivate yourself and do not need to wait for other people. The ability to notice when I am demotivated, discover the root cause, and then take action to restore my motivation makes me feel empowered.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Reflect on what motivates and demotivates you
  • Think about a time when you took charge of your motivation 
 
Remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life 
A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of this point. When you feel stuck and demotivated, you tend to focus on things that are not going well in your life. I have found that when I intentionally redirect my focus and think about positive things, it helps me feel motivated again. The exercise of reflecting on my accomplishments over a period of time helps shift my perspective. Writing them down helps me visualize and count my blessings.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down ten things that you have accomplished this year
  • Document 3 special moments in your life
 
Strategize and create a plan
One of the ways to renew your motivation is to mentally unblock yourself from your state of feeling stuck and demotivated. When you start planning for the future, your mind focuses on things that are to come, and you are filled with hope. It helps you look past whatever is not going well and helps you see your future clearer. Planning concrete action steps is a way to reclaim your power.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Think about where you want to go next 
  • Create a plan for the next six months 
 
Do something different
When you make changes in your routine, it allows you to explore new things. You might be feeling demotivated because life has become predictable. It might be time to try new things and change something in your life.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Explore new things that excite you
  • Commit to trying one new thing over the next month
 
Find inspiration 
We all need to find things that keep us excited and hopeful. I was talking to someone recently who had just attended a conference, and she spoke about the impact that the experience had on her day. She shared that she felt a new sense of excitement and motivation. Being inspired will definitely increase your motivation. 
 
Strategies to consider
  • Listen to a great speaker or read a great book
  • Talk to your mentors and people that inspire you 
 
Final Thoughts
Life is a lot more fun when we are motivated to do the things we need to accomplish our goals and live out our dreams. Let's do what we can to restore and maintain our motivation.
 
Time to reflect
  • What motivates you?
  • In what areas of your life are you currently feeling stuck or demotivated?
  • What will you do to motivate yourself this week?
0 Comments

How to set boundaries and live the life you want

19/4/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
To accomplish the bold goals we have planned, we need to guard our time and resources. One of the topics that I have been reflecting on recently is that I have been a little lax with the boundaries that I set, especially around my time. After completing my goals review for the first quarter of this year, I realized that I need to make some changes. At the start of the year, I had identified the need to limit my work hours. However, as the year progressed, I was still overworking. It is something I really want to change in the coming months. The insights gathered have led me to reevaluate the boundaries I need to set to accomplish my goals.
 
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of setting boundaries and the areas where we need them.
 
Why is it important to set boundaries
There are multiple benefits of setting boundaries and guarding things we care about, including:
  • It is your way of choosing yourself and making your well-being a priority
  • It helps people around you get clarity on how to best engage with you
  • It saves your resources such as your time, money for the things that actually matter 
 
How can we set boundaries and thrive
The first step to setting boundaries is thinking about different areas of your life where you want to make changes and evaluating what boundaries you would like to set. One of my guiding thoughts around boundaries is that I will do everything I can to free up my mind and resources to focus on things that will help me accomplish my goals.
 
Set boundaries with your family and friends
The people we love are more likely than others to overstep boundaries that we set. I am a strong believer that we need to tell people how we want to be treated in order to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries with family and friends is one of the most challenging things, as we typically want to avoid hurting their feelings. It is crucial to see setting boundaries as a commitment to take good care of yourself.
 
Questions to consider
  • Are there aspects of your relationships that are making you feel pressure?
  • What boundaries do you want to set with your family and friends?
 
Set boundaries at work
Especially since we spend so much time at work, it is essential to set boundaries there. The pandemic caused many lines between our work and lives to become very blurry. It takes a lot of intentional action to set the boundaries that we need to avoid overworking.
 
Questions to consider
  • How is work encroaching on time you want to spend doing other things?
  • How can you set boundaries at work?
 
Set boundaries around your finances 
To accomplish your financial goals, you will need to be intentional and disciplined about how you spend your money. I had seen my finances grow the most when I focused on saving and making wise investments. It is essential to say no to spending my money on things that don't help me build wealth. Sometimes it involves me saying no to people, which is uncomfortable. I remind myself of what I am working on accomplishing in my finances in those situations.
 
Questions to consider
  • What types of boundaries do you want to set around your finances?
  • How are you going to set boundaries around your finances?
 
Final Thoughts
It is very easy to let go of your boundaries. However, the effect on our well-being and growth is very significant. Setting and maintaining your boundaries is an excellent commitment to yourself.
 
Time to Reflect
  • What are three boundaries that you want to put in place or reactivate?
  • How will you check to ensure that you uphold the boundaries you set?
  • How will you hold yourself accountable to guard your most valuable asset? 
0 Comments

A Learner's guide to having difficult conversations

12/4/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
We all have to have difficult conversations in many aspects of our lives. They are critical to building relationships, having successful careers, and living a great life. I wish there were easy ways to master these conversations and make them less painful. Like with most things in our lives, when we can learn to handle difficult conversations in a better way.
 
In this blog post, I will share some things I am learning about handling difficult conversations. It is still a journey that I am still on.
 
Reflect on past difficult conversations you have had
We have all had a lot of difficult conversations over our lifetime. Some are easier to navigate than others. There are many things we can learn about ourselves if we take the time to reflect on how the conversations went. Most of the time, I find myself doing everything in my power to try to forget the conversation versus reflecting on the critical lessons that I could take away from them. I have learned that I do not like leaving a conversation feeling like I could not get my point across or defend my perspective. I am working on this by learning strategies to handle those feelings better.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Spend some time reflecting on difficult conversations you had in the past year
  • Make a note of one thing that you learned from the conversation 
 
Be prepared for the conversation
It is crucial to prepare yourself, especially with conversations that might have different outcomes than expected. It is mostly about you plotting a plan for yourself. I write some notes about the topic we are discussing and use that to prepare my mind before the conversation. Another thing that helps me is to get someone else's perspective or advice. You will handle the conversation better if you go in prepared rather than let your emotions take over at the moment.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Make notes of things you want to remember 
  • Talk to your trusted advisors
 
Focus on the actual conversation
One of the crucial things that make difficult conversations better is being present and listening to what is being said. Often in my mind, I have built a whole movie about the conversation, what the person might be insinuating, and the impact of the discussion afterward. This makes the conversation even bigger and more complicated than it needs to be. Listening to what they are saying is always a better route to take. I struggle with this point and would like to practice my deep listening skills. Instead of focusing on formulating my response while people are speaking, I want to listen to understand and not to respond.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Go into conversations with the thought of what you want to do better 
  • Practice deep listening and don't be distracted during the conversation 
 
Recap the conversation afterwards
We can all learn something from conversations, irrespective of how they go. Spending a few minutes thinking about how the conversation went will give you some great insights. Thinking through good discussions can help build your confidence. You have the opportunity to recap what you did during the conversation. You can use your notes as a reference for the next time you have a difficult conversation. And if the conversation did not go well, use the opportunity to offload the things from your mind and get closure.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Document what made the conversation go well or not
  • Accept how things went 
 
Be kind to yourself 
I have come out of conversations and beat myself up for weeks afterwards because I wished I did or said things differently. Even when conversations go well, sometimes there is still a strange feeling or thought about how we may have wanted to do things differently. Going over conversations over and over is not very helpful for our minds. Especially overthinkers like me, we often struggle with letting go.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Check-in with yourself to see how you are doing after difficult conversations 
  • Know when it's time to move on from a conversation 
 
Final Thoughts
Handling difficult conversations well is a skill that needs work to build. If you feel like running away from difficult conversations, you are not alone. We all have to keep practicing to get more comfortable.
 
Great Resources
  • How to have difficult conversations at work: 5 key steps
  • How to Handle Difficult Conversations at Work
  • 3 steps to having difficult — but necessary — conversations
  • How to Have Difficult Conversations and Stay True to Yourself
  • Need to Have a Difficult Conversation? Try This Simple 4-Step Method
0 Comments

10 Things that remind me I am an Immigrant

5/4/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Over the last 21 years, I have had many experiences as an immigrant in Germany and the US. I recently talked with someone who had immigrated to the US, and we shared our common experiences. It is amazing to see how many things we have in common because we have lived in a different country than the ones we were born in.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that are part of my life as an Immigrant and how I handle them. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Being affected by unrest in the world
With everything going on around the world, my heart goes out to people who are affected in the regions and those in the diaspora who are watching from afar. With every news story about bad things happening, it feels very personal. I know how it feels to worry about peace in the world and the impact on people you know.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I remind myself to continue having hope for a more peaceful world
 
Missing key family milestones
Our family recently grew by one member, and I could not be there in person. Recently, I recalled how many family celebrations I have had to watch from afar. I have gotten used to being too far away to celebrate key milestones with my extended family.
 
How do I handle it?
  • Virtual communication tools have helped us stay connected through life events
 
Not understanding the jokes and references
Whenever someone uses a cultural or historical reference that I do not understand, I am reminded that I am an immigrant. There are many things that people ask me about Nigeria, Germany, or the US that I do not know. Every day, someone mentions something about the country I am in that is new to me.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I am honest about things that I do not know, accept them, stay curious and learn new things
 
Missing some of your favorite food
If you read my blogs, you know how much I miss German bread. Someone talked about bread at a gathering that I was visiting lately, and I was already excited about eating great bread. When I moved to Germany, I still remember that I did not know where to find ingredients to make Nigerian food. We have definitely come a long way with the availability of food items from different countries.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I go out of my way to find food that connects me to my home countries
 
Getting a visa and other immigration documents
Sitting in the offices of the immigration officers who get to decide if you can stay in a country, is a very humbling experience. No matter how many times you have been in that situation, there is always a small thought in your mind wondering if this is the time you get denied a stay in a country and would have to leave.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I always have my immigration papers in order and educate myself on the rules
 
Being asked where you are from
Interestingly the question I get asked the most is, "where are you from." I have gotten very used to the question and know how to distinguish the intent behind the question. Most of the time, people are curious because they hear a different accent when I talk, and other times people want to make me feel like I don't belong. Fortunately, I have received more of the questions asked with positive intent.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I enjoy sharing my story with people who are truly curious and interested
 
Disconnecting from your social network
Every time I talk to someone who grew up on the same city or country that they currently live in, I wonder what it is like. I have lived in 3 countries and many different cities, which has made me lose touch with the people I spent some time with. Social media has helped me keep in touch with some people I grew up with, but the connection is certainly not the same.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I stay in contact with my small circle of friends
 
Having to create a new home often
One of the advantages of being an immigrant and living in different places is that you develop the skills to create a home where you find yourself. Over the years, I have learned not to be attached to a physical location and to find happiness wherever I am. When I moved to the US, I was able to leverage the lessons I learned living in Germany. And now, I have built home my own little family.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I strive to make myself comfortable where I am at all times
 
Not having some privileges or access to resources
When I was studying in Germany, I wished that I had access to other students' financial resources. It would have made my life much easier. There is a long list of other privileges that Immigrants do not know about or have access to.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I have learned to accept that there are things I do not have access to
 
Understanding the experiences of other Immigrants
There is something very powerful about being different and having experienced being the "only" or a minority. It makes you more sensitive to the experiences of others whose lives are different from majority groups. Honestly, being an immigrant has made me kinder and more respectful of people.
 
How do I handle it?
  • I am curious to learn more about others
 
Final Thoughts
My experiences as an immigrant have made me a better human. I am very grateful to everyone on my journey that has been my companion. I am living the amazing life that I want to be living.
0 Comments

Have you considered working with a Career Coach?

29/3/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
In 2022, I am committed to sharing tools that have helped me thrive in my personal and professional life. One of the tools that have significantly impacted my professional journey is career coaching. Until a few years ago, I did not know it was for me. I worked with a career coach when I moved to the US, and five years later, I just completed six months of working with another coach. 
 
In this blog post, I will share some of my experiences and lessons learned from working with career coaches. My goal is to help you see that this is a tool that is also accessible and can be beneficial to you. 
 
What is a Career Coach, and when does it make sense to work with one?
Career coaches provide a range of services, from helping you figure out what you want to do to explore opportunities for professional growth to supporting you through the ups and downs of looking for a new job. In my experience, you can work with a coach at any time on your professional journey. If you are planning to keep growing, exploring new things, and taking on new opportunities, working with a coach will help set you up for success. 
 
What were my goals when I worked with a Career Coach?

Interestingly the two times that I have worked with a career coach, I was in very different places in my career and had vastly different needs. 
  • 2016: It was my first year in the US, and I realized that the professional environment was very different from what I was familiar with when I worked in Germany. By observing my colleagues, I could see that I was missing some skills that would help me thrive. I wanted to learn more about building my career plan, establishing my professional brand, and understanding the professional culture
  • 2021 - 2022: I was preparing for a huge transition at this stage in my career. I knew that I needed to map my 3 - 5 year career plan to have some orientation as I embark on my journey. I needed some support with understanding where I want to go in the long term in my career, framing my new role, and setting myself up for success.
 
How did I approach my search for a Coach?
As I have progressed in my career, I have become more intentional about planning and preparing for the moves I make. Before I started my search for a Coach, I thought about what I wanted to work on with them. I had three goals that I have wanted to accomplish. The actual search for a Coach was different the first time. While taking professional certification classes at UC Berkeley, one of the professors mentioned that she was a coach. We had an introductory call where I learned about her work, decided it was a fit, and we worked together for about six months. My second coaching experience was part of a program at work where we partnered with a company that had coaches in their Network. I was able to select my preferences and was offered a pool of coaches to choose from.
 
Some of the things I look for in a coach include:
  • Someone who understands my industry a little. As someone in Tech, I like working with coaches who have worked or coached others in my industry and understands the challenges 
  • A person who has worked with people who have similar learning styles. It's easier to work with a coach who knows how to pass information so that you can easily digest it. I learn through studying and doing research. While I'm working with a coach, It helps me a lot when they make recommendations of things I could learn 
  • The coach's price works for your budget. It is crucial that you can afford their services and want to invest at that time. Worrying about the money you are investing won't make the experience fun
 
How to make the best of your coaching experience
  • Be honest and transparent: working with a coach is the best opportunity to be transparent about things you want to do better in your career. We don't have a lot of spaces where we can be vulnerable, and this is the right place for you to get the support you need 
  • Be organized: I strongly believe that if you are organized and manage your time well, you get the most from the experience
  • Prepare for your sessions: you need an agenda for each session that is shared with your coach beforehand. This ensures that the time you have together is very productive 
  • Document your learnings: take notes during every session, document your next steps and review your notes before the next session
  • Take action and be committed: prioritizing sessions was a way to keep your commitment to learning and growing
 
What did I get out of my coaching experiences?
Working with a coach has helped me grow professionally. Some of the outcomes of coaching include:
  • Learned more about my strengths and found language to talk about them
  • Revamped my professional brand on various platforms such as my blog, LinkedIn and my resume
  • Streamlined my view of where I want to go and what I want to do professionally
  • Discovered what I really care about in my life and work 
  • Found encouragement to ask for what I want professionally and support to work towards my big goals
 
Final Thoughts
I recently talked to one of my colleagues, and she shared that she never thought working with a coach was for her. It got me thinking about how hesitant I was to work with a coach initially and how much my investment has paid off. If you are unsure if coaching is for you, test it and see. A lot of coaches offer info sessions where you can learn more. Coaching is a tool that has helped me a lot, and I hope you will take advantage of it. 
 
Great Resources 

  • Benefits of coaching: Purpose, clarity, and passion in daily life
  • Here's the Real Deal on What a Coach Can (and Can't) Do for Your Career
  • 10 Benefits of Career Coaching
  • 11 Benefits of Coaching in the Workplace
  • 3 Reasons To Hire A Career Coach
  • 7 signs you're ready to hire a career coach — and 3 signs you're not
 
Time for reflection
  • In what areas of your career do you want to grow?
  • How would you go about searching for a Coach?
  • How do you plan to make your coaching experience worth it?
0 Comments

What are you learning this year?

22/3/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
One of the greatest tools to help us accomplish our goals is learning. We need to learn and develop new skills to achieve our bold goals. As I have progressed in my Life and Career, learning has contributed to my success. I am a strong believer in continuous learning and have enjoyed adding knowledge and new skills to my toolkit.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to make learning a part of your life. For more tips and resources, check out some of my previous posts on learning at the end of this post.
 
Set learning goals every year
We need to be very intentional about learning and building new skills. It takes planning and scheduling time actually to make it happen. When I plan my goals every year, I identify three new things that I want to learn and work towards them. My learning goals are typically geared towards developing skills that I do not have but know that I need to succeed professionally and personally. The process of planning what I want to learn excites and empowers me.
 
Questions to consider
  • What new skills do you want to develop this year?
  • What are your learning goals for this year?
 
Find learning formats that work for you
We all learn in different ways, and it is crucial to know how you learn best and go for them. I really enjoy learning from other people's experiences, taking formal trainings, and I also learn through teaching others. When I set my learning goals, I plan for trainings, podcasts, or books that will help me.
 
Questions to consider
  • How can you learn the new skills that you need? 
  • What mediums of learning help you the most?
 
Find your learning community
Having accountability partners is crucial to maintaining your learning mindset and accomplishing your learning. Knowing that you have people around you who support and encourage you to stick to your learning goals increases your chances of achieving them. I feel fortunate to have a community of people who enjoy learning and work towards their own goals. They provide me with motivation and support while I continue my learning journey.
 
Questions to consider
  • Who could be part of your learning community?
  • How will you make sure you stay connected to them? 
 
Share what you learned
In my experience, one way to amplify your learning is to share what you learned with others. Whenever I learn something new, I make it a point to write a quick summary and share it with people around me. Professionally, I get to share my knowledge with my team and mentees. In my private life, this blog is an amazing medium for me to share my learnings as well. It is great to be able to deepen my learning by sharing with others.
 
Questions to consider
  • Who can you share your knowledge with? 
  • How will you make sure you share what you learn?  
 
Continue learning
To thrive and accomplish all our goals, we have a lot of learning to do. It is crucial for us always to be learning something new. Unlike when we were studying for degrees, we get to choose what we learn, when, and how. There are so many great resources available to support us on our learning journey.
 
Questions to consider
  • What will help you stay motivated to learn continuously? 
  • How will you make time to learn new things continuously? 
 
Final Thoughts
This year my professional learning goals are to develop my skills around leading teams and impact programs at scale, driving sustainable organizational culture change. And in my personal life, I want to learn about storytelling and writing a book. I am very excited to learn awesome things this year and continue growing.
 
Call to Action
  • What do you need to learn to be successful? Identify the skills that you want to develop
  • How are you going to learn? Find a mode of learning that works for you
  • How can you make sure you learn something? Commit to learning something new in the next quarter
 
Great Resources
  • Video: Continuous Learning as a Tool to Build your Career
  • Build your Toolkit: Learning new Skills
  • How to be a life-long Learner
  • How to Develop a Growth Mindset
  • How to start your self-development journey
0 Comments

About your Goals - March 2022 Progress Check-in

15/3/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
This year has been going by very quickly. I think I say this every year. However, I still cannot believe it's been three months already. So much has happened in such a little amount of time. It is highly crucial not to lose sight of our goals with everything going on in our lives. A quarterly review is one of the amazing tools to help you stay on track.
 
In this blog post, we will complete a quarterly review with the help of 10 questions, and I will share an update on my top goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life.
 
10 Questions for your intentional quarterly goals review

Making time to reflect on the past three months will help you accomplish your goals. The exercise will provide you with information on how you're doing and insights on what to focus on for the following months.
 
Some great questions to help you take stock of where you are compared to your plan include the following:
  1. What is one word or phrase that would describe 2022 so far? 
  2. Have you been taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? 
  3. Which of your goals have you made progress on? 
  4. Which of your goals have you not made progress on?
  5. What is one of your accomplishments so far in 2022?
  6. How did you celebrate your accomplishments?
  7. What are three lessons that you learned?
  8. What do you want to do differently in Q2 2022?
  9. What are three things you want to accomplish next quarter?
  10. How will you recharge and take care of yourself?
 
MCs Journey - Q1 2022 Goals Check-in
2022 has been a very busy year for me so far. Starting this year, I knew that I would have a lot going on in the first six months. However, I did not realize how much I would be juggling and its impact on me.
 
Reflecting on my goals for the year, I have made progress on some and not on others. Generally, I am very thankful for where I am today. This year, I have learned that I need to pace myself not to burn out.
 
Let's check in on my progress towards my top goals for 2022:

  • Personal: Prioritize self-care and create sustainable routines
    • Highlight: One of the new routines I started was going outside with our son almost daily. It feels so great not to be indoors all the time and to see him discover new things.  
    • Lowlight: I have been exhausted over the past weeks, mainly because I do not have enough sleep. I definitely need to take better care of myself.
    • What am I planning to do differently?
      • In order to get more sleep, I need to stop working earlier and ensure I am in bed by 10 pm. 
  • Family: Make memories and enjoy our time as a family
    • Highlight: We have been exploring new places as a family almost every weekend, and we have had a lot of fun. 
    • What am I planning to do next?
      • Over the next months, I am looking forward to a short vacation with my husband and son. 
  • Professional: Expand my sphere of influence and lead programs that reach more people
    • Highlight: 2021 was a great year for me professionally, and 2022 is shaping to be even bigger. I have launched new programs, done great work, and accomplished my professional goals. In addition, I have an incredible team.
    • Lowlight: With all the amazing things that I have been doing, it has caused me to work too many hours and on some weekends. I started the year wanting to avoid overworking.
    • What am I doing differently?
      • Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to end work by a certain time every day. I need to set better boundaries around work.
  • Financial: Set the financial foundation for our next investment projects
    • Highlight: the discipline that I have developed over the years in my finances is paying off. I have been saving towards our goals.
    • What am I planning to do next?
      • There is a lot that I will be learning about our next investment to ensure we make the right decision. 
  • Business: Grow our community of women and create helpful content
    • Highlight: I am proud that I have published a blog post every week. It is very important to me that I do things that I'm passionate about.
    • Lowlight: My YouTube channel is something I planned to restart this year. I have not yet found time to dedicate to it. I am telling myself that the time will come.
    • What am I planning to do differently?
      • When the time is right, I want to strategize and plan for the relaunch of my YouTube channel. 
  • Learning: develop the skills needed for the next phase of my career 
    • Highlight: I have been reading a lot of great books this year and learning a lot.
    • What am I planning to do next?
      • I have scheduled my first training in a long time. I am very excited to be expanding my toolkit. 
  • Bold Goal: Take the next step higher in my career
    • Current status: I am working towards setting the foundation for my next significant career move. It has been an exciting journey, and I have been learning to overcome self-doubt.
 
Final Thoughts
Quarterly check-ins are a great opportunity to reflect on the progress you have made, celebrate your accomplishments, and plan for the upcoming months. We have nine more months to have a great 2022. Stay hopeful and take action towards accomplishing your goals.
 
Call to Action
  • Find 1 - 2 hours to reflect on how your first quarter has been
  • Plan a special way to celebrate your accomplishments
  • Refresh and update your goals for the next quarter 
0 Comments

Celebrating International Women's Day 2022

8/3/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Happy International Women's Day to all you amazing Women!!! The theme for this year is "Break the Bias." Imagine a gender-equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias.
 
Being a woman is a crucial part of my identity and then layer on, being an immigrant black woman in Tech, people often do not know what to expect when they set me. I have been on the receiving end of many stereotypes based on people's perception of what someone that looks or sounds like me should be.
 
Starting Point: What is Bias? 
  • unfair difference in the way women and men are treated
  • unequal treatment in employment opportunity (such as promotion, pay, benefits, and privileges), and expectations due to attitudes based on the gender of an employee or group of employees
  • prejudiced actions or thoughts based on the gender-based perception that women are not equal to men in rights and dignity.
 
The first time I noticed bias growing up
In Nigeria, where I spent my childhood, there were very strong gender norms. Women were expected to be primarily supporters of men and not be vocal. In most conversations, people reminded us of how important it was to be someone's wife and hardly any conversations about becoming the person you were destined to be. I was fortunate to grow up around women who defied the expectations of "what a woman could do." However, I knew society's expectations for me as a girl child. Deep inside, I always knew that I wanted to be a whole person and not be invisible. This led to a constant battle with who I am versus how I was expected to act.
 
My experience with bias in a professional setting
After graduating from university, I had no idea what I would experience when I began my career. I was very fortunate to start a job where I had a lot of responsibilities and a growth path. Most of the bias that I experienced had to do with a combination of my identities as a black woman. Especially at client visits, people expected the person in charge to be someone other than me. I did not fit the picture they expected of an experienced program manager.
 
How I deal with bias
My life experiences have made me very resilient. I learned not to let people's thoughts or stereotypes define me. My identity and self-confidence do not change because someone else sees me differently. I see experiencing bias as an opportunity to share my experiences with people to provide a different perspective. And more importantly, I have learned to move on quickly.  
 
How I am paying it forward
Being on the receiving end of bias has made me very aware of the bias that others are experiencing. In my role as Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Program Manager today, I build strategy, plan, and lead programs that train people on how to be inclusive and respectful of others from many backgrounds. I feel very fortunate to be able to support others actively.
 
Final Thoughts
There is something very empowering about seeing women who have succeeded against all odds. All the women who have faced bias and still done great things - are heroes.
 
Call to Action: What can we all do? 

We all play a very active role in making our world more equitable. Here are five things we can all do:
  • Raise confident and amazing girls
  • Celebrate women's accomplishments
  • Increase awareness for bias happening around you
  • Treat everyone equally
  • Be a positive role model  
0 Comments

Comparing my relocation to the US vs. Germany - Year 6

1/3/2022

1 Comment

 
Picture
My life experiences living in multiple countries have shaped me significantly. Over the past months, I have reflected on my amazing journey over the past 21 years. It has been very empowering to remember all that I have been through, my accomplishments, the amazing relationships, and the places I have been.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
First trip to Nigeria
In 2006, my sister and I traveled back to Nigeria to see our mom. It had been five tough years of living and surviving in Germany. I worked hard to save the money for our tickets and still remember the excitement we felt as we packed our bags. Interestingly, my memories are mostly centered around the people we spent time with when we returned to Kaduna, the city we grew up in. I still remember sitting with our Grandma, who was very surprised and happy to see us. We also spent some valuable time with some of our childhood friends. When we were living, I was hoping we would visit more often.
 
What did I learn? 
  • The people in our lives are a gift
 
A summer to remember
I spent the summer of 2006 in England as a nanny for a family I met in my first year in Germany. After a few months of living in Germany, I met the mom on a train ride, and we bonded immediately. Having a friend who spoke English was special. Once she had her daughter, I babysat her before they moved back to the UK. This was actually the first income that I made in Germany. Fast-forward to when I spent the summer with them in Northern England years later. Taking care of a five-year-old over the summer was a lot of fun. However, I had no idea what the time away from Germany would do to me. This was the first time I re-evaluated where I was in life, and I realized I had to make some changes.
 
What did I learn?
  • To gain perspective, you sometimes have to leave your "normal" life and space 
 
Trying times
When I returned to Germany from Nigeria and England in 2006, things started unraveling very quickly. I knew that I had to make some tough choices. The first choice I made was to change the university course I was studying, which meant I had to move to a new city. I had an immense feeling of failure that stemmed from the fact that I expected to have completed my studies after being in Germany for six years, but I was far from it. Looking back, that was one of the pivotal moments that changed the trajectory of my life for good.
 
What did I learn?
  • Do what you need to do for yourself even when you are scared of what the future holds 
 
A year of significant changes
One common theme was between my sixth year living in Germany and the US. In 2006, I made the major decision to change my university course and move to a new city. In 2020, the world was changed by a global pandemic, and my life was changed as I became a first-time mom. While the changes in both years were significant, I was in a much better place in 2020. The main difference was that I was surrounded with love, financially and professionally stable. That made my experience with significant change more pleasant.
 
What did I learn?
  • Changes in life are required to make progress
 
Living through chaos
Going through the first year of a global pandemic meant that we were mostly at home. I was very grateful that I was in a place where I was comfortable and could continue living my life with all the chaos happening in the world. It made me reflect on other phases of my life where I felt uncomfortable in my skin and home. Another great thing in my life was that I was in a very happy relationship which made the time at home enjoyable.
 
What did I learn?
  • Being in a safe and loving home makes a huge difference
 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The person I was in 2006 was very different from who I was in 2020. However, my journey had a similar theme; I was going through many life changes. In 2006, I had hit a "wall" and was not making progress. Compared to 2020, I was progressing and entering an amazing phase in life. As I wrote this post, I was overcome with gratitude for how far I have come on my relocation journey.
Picture
1 Comment

How does self-acceptance help you live your best life?

19/2/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
When people ask us what we want to improve ourselves, a long list of things comes to mind quickly. On the other hand, when we are asked what we love about ourselves, we need to dig deeper to discover what we like about ourselves. I have been on a journey of self-acceptance over the past few years. My strengths and flaws make me the unique person that I am. Accepting them has helped me feel whole and happier. I started seeing myself as a complete person with multiple facets.
 
In this blog post, we will explore how self-acceptance changes our outlook on life. This post continues our February series on loving ourselves.
 
Starting point: What does self-acceptance mean?
  • Self-acceptance is defined as "an individual's acceptance of all of his/her attributes, positive or negative." It includes body acceptance, self-protection from negative criticism, and believing in one's capacities
  • When we're self-accepting, we're able to embrace all facets of ourselves—not just the positive, more "esteem-able" parts. As such, self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification. We can recognize our weaknesses or limitations, but this awareness in no way interferes with our ability to fully accept ourselves.
  • the act or state of accepting oneself: the act or state of understanding and recognizing one's own abilities and limitations
 
The benefits of accepting ourselves
Many great things happen once we start the journey of self-acceptance.
 
#1: We are more confident
Knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses changes how you see yourself. You exude a high level of confidence in who you are. Although you know you are not perfect, you are perfectly fine with it.
 
#2: We know that failure or weaknesses do not define us
With our flaws, it is crucial to know that they are one aspect of who we are but not the entirety of our identity. We spend so much time focusing on our flaws and allowing them to overshadow our good traits. You are a whole person that has a lot of good to offer.
 
#3: We accept others more
One of the biggest challenges we face in relationships is wishing people to change and become more like a mental image of them. After we accept ourselves, it is very easy to accept others for who they are. We don't expect perfection from others and appreciate their whole beings.
 
#4: We are kind to ourselves
When we stop wishing we were someone else and accept who we are, we show ourselves more compassion. Our self-talk changes from constant critique to being more understanding and kind to ourselves. We focus more on our strengths and are not as hard on ourselves.
 
#5: We live to our full potential 
Believing that you are who you were meant to give your newfound energy. You go through life with a sense of positivity and hope. This change in perspective will fuel your life and help you accomplish more.
 
Final Thoughts - MC's Journey
A few years ago, I realized that self-acceptance is a gift that only I can give myself. I had gone through most of my life desiring traits that I saw in others. The constant thought of needing to get rid of my flaws to live a good life consumed my mind. It felt like I would never be the "perfect" person that I desired to be. One of the turning points was when I started spending more time getting to know my strengths. I felt energized by focusing on my strengths and celebrated who I was more. My perspective changed from thinking that my flaws defined me to embrace every aspect of my being.
 
Time for Reflection
What aspect of yourself do you want to accept?
How will you remind yourself to accept who you are daily?
How will you celebrate who you are?
0 Comments
<<Previous
    Picture

    Author

    Marie-Christin Anthony
    -Learning and sharing

      GET the monthly newsletter

    Subscribe to Newsletter

    Categories

    All
    Events
    General
    Her Career
    Her Finances
    Her Growth
    Her Plan
    Her Relocation
    Her Story
    Her Toolkit

    Archives

    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018

    RSS Feed

    JOIN THE LIST

Subscribe to Newsletter
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Subscribe
  • Toolkit
  • Groups
    • Group Insights
    • Group Intake