 One American tradition that I really enjoy is the culture of gratitude around Thanksgiving in November. It is a great way to wrap up a year and remember the good things that have happened in your life.
In this blog post, we will reflect on the good that has happened in 2023 so far, and I will list ten things that I am grateful for this year. Setting the foundation – What are you grateful for? When I started planning for this post, I kept thinking of how much energy I have given this year. Then I reflected on the fact that I saw some results, created memories, had reasons to smile, and had opportunities to enjoy life this year. Even in intense years, we still have much to be grateful for. Here are the questions I asked myself to create my gratitude list:
MC's Story: 10 things that I am grateful for this year
Time for Reflection
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 As the fourth quarter gets underway, most of us are pooling our last energy reserves and gearing up for the final weeks. I have found a source of motivation in knowing and leveraging our strengths. It is very easy to focus on what we lack and our weaknesses.
In this blog post, I will share the three things I am doing to focus on reviving our strengths. Remind yourself of your strengths Knowing your strengths takes being intentional and making an effort. We are more likely to be ready to share our weaknesses than our strengths. One of the tools that has really helped me with my strengths has been the "The CliftonStrengths® Assessment (formerly Strengthsfinder 2.0)". I took the assessment as part of working with a Coach in 2016 when I was learning how to navigate living in the US. I learned about my top 5 strengths, and they resonated with me. It has helped me become more aware and have a better relationship with my strengths. Questions to consider
Check in to see if and how you are leveraging your strengths Putting your strengths to use is an excellent way to contribute positively to the world around you. I once heard someone say that if you are not leveraging your strengths, you are holding back some of your greatness from your community. This past week, I asked my team at work which strengths they are leveraging today and which ones they hope to leverage. It was eye-opening to confirm their strengths and think about ways to create opportunities to activate those not sufficiently in use. The exercise of asking yourself the question will give you an actual status of where you are leveraging your strengths and where you are not. Questions to consider
Make a plan to leverage your strengths The great news is that we can shine by leveraging more of our strengths. I acknowledge that we only sometimes use all of our strengths in all areas of our lives. However, there might be strengths that you, if you leverage more, will give you the motivation boost you need. My top five strengths are learner, relator, focus, responsibility, and achiever. In the past year, I have leveraged my strengths of achiever, focus, and responsibility, which have helped me succeed. On the flip side, I have not had enough time to leverage my relator and learner strengths as much as I have in previous years. Over the next months, I plan to connect more with people and enjoy the energy it brings me. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts We all have strengths that our personal and professional communities can benefit from when we leverage them. I hope you are leveraging and developing your strengths.  Over the last five years of writing this blog, I have written multiple posts about networking. A lot has changed since I wrote my previous posts on networking. The pandemic affected a lot of our networks drastically. The truth is that we still need our social and professional networks to thrive. As we gear up for the
In this blog post, we will examine our current networks with the help of three questions as we look to rebuild them. #1: How have your networks looked in the past? A great start to refreshing your networks is to think back to the past. Typically, your networks have played an essential role in your personal well-being and professional success. Thinking about the people in your networks, how you connected with them, and how helpful they were will help you derive insights. There are valuable lessons that can show you what you want to continue and the things you want to change. Strategies to consider
#2: Who are the people in your professional and social network currently supporting you? After we have looked at our networks in the past, it is an excellent time to take stock of your current reality. Thinking about your existing network will help you celebrate your work and identify where you might want to build something new. Strategies to consider
#3: How do you plan to build your dream network? Building your network is something you can influence fully. We all need great networks that inspire us, provide new perspectives, help us focus on our goals, develop our strengths, motivate us, and give us opportunities to give back to others. This is a great time to revive or make new connections. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Story After speaking at a conference, I realized how much my networks have changed in the last three years. In addition to the global pandemic, I had a baby in 2020, and my Reflecting on my networks helped me see that I am really missing some core elements that my network has provided me in the past. Great Resources For more tips and resources, check out my other blog posts on networking:  During a conversation recently, I was reminded about the role we all have to play in building a world where everyone feels. There is so much going on in the world these days. We need to take more action to counter the negative things happening.
In this blog post, we will remind ourselves of the actions we can take to make our world a better place. Giving back to our Community Dedicating our time or other resources to society is a great way to continue investing. If we want to see things improve, we must be part of the change we seek. We have a lot to contribute to our community. Reflection questions
Preparing the Next Generation As parents or caregivers, we are responsible for teaching our children the lessons they need to know about being good stewards of the earth and their community. Our son is almost three, and we are already trying to teach him some little things. Reflection questions
Continuing to have Hope It is crucial for us to continue to see and hope for good in our world. The moment we give up hope, even more things start to happen. We are still on this earth and have the opportunity to experience more good things. Reflection questions
Final Thoughts: MC's Story In 2017, I went through a major life transition shift that led to me making some significant changes in my life. I realized that I wanted to do more to improve my community. There were so many needs that I saw. However, I knew that I needed to start somewhere and then take it one step at a time. I looked at my talents and wondered how to leverage them to help others. My first step was to launch this blog, where I share my experiences and amplify the experiences of extraordinary women. The next step was to align my job with my mission. And in 2019, I was fortunate to find a role where I can help employees from all backgrounds feel like they belong and can thrive. I often ask myself how to continue making the world a great place for my son to grow up in.  Time is going by very quickly, and many of us feel like we are constantly on the go. With the summer holidays ending for many people and the start of some busy months ahead, it is an excellent time for us to check in with ourselves and see how we are doing. Your physical, mental, and emotional health
In this blog post, we will reflect on ten questions that help us dig deeper into our well-being. Reflection Questions Spending time reflecting on your well-being is crucial. The following questions help me get deep and discover my true feelings.
MC's Check-In This year has been a good and very different year for me. The progress that I have made this year was in areas I did not expect and was not prepared for. The most valuable lesson I have learned this year is to embrace new experiences even when I'm afraid. Planning for the year has been a practice that has helped me stay on top of my busy life as a working mother, wife, and coach. The main thing that was different this year was that there were a lot of unknowns which made having a well-defined plan difficult. So I did the next best thing, I went on the journey and planned my immediate next steps. There have been some surprises along the way that have taught me to get more comfortable with the unknown. If you ask me how I am doing, I can say I am mentally and emotionally well. However, there are areas that I want to keep improving upon. The first of them is the ability to sit still and not feel that I need to be doing something. This past weekend, I volunteered at our son's school and had one of the first quiet moments in a very long time. I kept thinking about ways to multi-task while I arranged books in the school library. The pressure to utilize every minute of my day is something I feel very often. Thankfully, on this day, I convinced myself that the moment was a gift to be in my thoughts and listen to music in peace. As I think about things that will bring me more joy over the next months, I really want to be at peace and enjoy my life. Embracing the new and unexpected is necessary for the journey that I am on this year. I am thankful for all the life experiences that have taught me that I thrive in uncertainty and that there will always be beautiful things I get to celebrate. Final Thoughts We have one life to live, and I really hope that you are doing well. If you are not feeling your best, do the things that help you be your best self. And if you need additional help, please find what you need. Everyone is at different stages of their lives. Please be kind to yourself. Call to action Carve out 30 mins of your time in the coming days and write down your responses to the questions.  As we navigate life, some thoughts and beliefs shape our outlook. It is interesting how much power our minds and thoughts hold. The limiting thoughts and beliefs focus on what we cannot accomplish or things that are not available to us.
In this blog post, we will discuss the limiting beliefs that hold us back and how to overcome them. Starting Point: What are limiting beliefs, and where do they come from? A limiting belief is a thought or state of mind that you think is the absolute truth and stops you from doing certain things. These beliefs don't always have to be about yourself, either. They could be about how the world works, ideas, and how you interact with people. Many things influence the limiting beliefs that we have. They can include our background, how we grew up, what people have said to us, negative experiences or disappointments, or what we have told ourselves is possible for people like us. The good news is that you can do something about limiting beliefs. A great place to start is to become more aware of those limiting beliefs. Then you will have to keep questioning and breaking those beliefs. It takes time, but being intentional and holding yourself accountable is crucial. MC's Story: My limiting thoughts and Beliefs Especially when good things happened in my life, I fought an internal battle to believe they were happening to me and that I deserved it. I was more comfortable when things did not go well. I had a positive outlook on life but didn't know I could reach far. I imagined myself living a comfortable life. However, I never imagined the life that I now have when I was growing up. At every step of my journey, I have needed to deal with my limiting beliefs and trust that good things will happen in my life. After I started believing that I could live a great life, the next thing that I experienced was the feeling that I deserved to enjoy my life. There was guilt that came with my positive experiences. I kept asking why all the good things were happening for me, which is wild thinking about how hard I have worked to be here. I started hiding my accomplishments. Until now, when people talk about my achievements, I want to run and hide. Five years ago, when I started working for a well-known company, I did not tell people outside my close family and friends. Then, as I became more successful, I started meeting very successful people, and imposter syndrome set in. I felt that everyone around me was much smarter than I was. I had to remind myself of how awesome I was and stopped making myself small. I know that I have something important to contribute to the work around me. I know that the limiting beliefs will always be there. However, I have the power to continue broadening my perspective and shaping my beliefs. Time for Reflection What limiting thoughts or beliefs, do you have in the following areas of your life?
 As our lives get busier, getting caught up with the mundane things and our routines is so easy. We sometimes lose excitement and inspiration. Being inspired fuels our lives and impacts us positively.
In this blog post, we will explore ways to get inspired again and thrive. Starting point - Why is being inspired important? Inspiration plays an essential role in our lives. Some of the benefits include:
#1: Reflect on the last time your felt inspired In the past years, we have had to focus on things that are pivotal to our survival. As a result, a lot of us have lost the spark. Thinking back on the last time you were inspired will give you some information about what inspires you. Strategies to consider
#2: Do something you have not done in a long time One way to seek inspiration is to do things that have given you the feeling in the past. We all have fantastic things we have done as much over the last three years. Now is an excellent time to return to them and get inspired again. Strategies to consider
#3: Find people who inspire you The ability to inspire is a desirable trait in people. I like hearing from others who they find inspiring. Typically when people have asked me, I could answer the question about people who inspire me. Lately, I have not had anyone on my list. That is something that I need to change. Strategies to consider
#4: Listen to what inspires others and talk about what inspires you There is something powerful about sharing the good in our lives. When we are vocal about our experiences, it brings back feelings that we had. I really like hearing what inspires people around me. It teaches me a lot about them and lets me see their greatness. Strategies to consider
#5: Be an inspiration to someone Giving back is an excellent way for us to make the world a better place. Being a positive influence on people is a great thing to strive for. I have found that doing things for others helps adjust my perspective. We all have something great to contribute. Strategies to consider
Time for Reflection
 Our world has changed a lot over the past three years. We have all been impacted in many ways. I recently read this great article, "The Three-Year Life Audit" in Psychology Today Magazine. It got me thinking about how much our lives have changed since the start of the pandemic three years ago. The fact that it has been three years already still blows my mind. These have been the fastest and yet slowest three years of my life.
In this blog post, I will share my personal audit of the last three years and invite you to make time for your own audit. There are a lot of great lessons that we learn from reflecting. Valuing our Social Connections Reflection Questions: How have your social ties evolved? Which connections do you miss—and what can you do about it? MC's Story Over the past three years, some of my social connections have become stronger, and others have unfortunately dissolved. At the start of the pandemic, we were all doing so much to keep in touch with everyone virtually since we could not meet in person. It became more rewarding to invest in deeper relationships, which led to me neglecting some others. What am I committing to doing over the next months?
Celebrating our greatness Reflection Questions: What unsung heroic feats have you endured? The things that brought you to your knees—perhaps without anyone else knowing? MC's Story Becoming a mother at the height of the pandemic was one of the most challenging and rewarding things I did. In March 2020, when the world was shutting down, I found out I was expecting our son. During my pregnancy, I lacked the support community I would typically have had because we were all confined to our homes. What am I committing to doing over the next months?
Embracing the new Reflection Questions: What new elements have you welcomed into your life? Projects, geographies, habits, creative outlets MC's Story Our son has driven us to explore our area more. Since moving to California, I have visited many more beautiful places in the last three years than in the previous five years. Also, seeing our son enjoy the little things around us has helped me appreciate what we have even more. What am I committing to doing next?
Releasing things that no longer serve me Reflection Questions: What have you let go of? That thing you thought you'd never escape but suddenly found a way to discard? MC's Story When I think about the biggest change in my mindset, I no longer believe I can control the outcomes of my life through great planning. The past years have shown me that I have no control over many things. The skill that I have learned is to set goals, have plans, and be prepared to adapt to the new things that arise as life happens. What am I committing to doing next?
Investing in the future Reflection Questions: What new seeds have you planted? Those once-impossible imaginings that are now starting to take root? MC's Story In the last three years, I have experienced much professional growth. My career has grown in ways that I never imagined. I have taken on new responsibilities, gotten promotions, developed great programs, and led a team. Although my bold moves have paid off, I am still holding back on ideas I m scared of implementing. What am I committing to doing next?
Final Thoughts The past three years have been my life's most unexpected and positively surprising times. If you had asked me in early 2020 where I think I would be in three years, I would never have imagined the life that I have now. I am very proud of myself for staying focused on my goals and grateful for the community that stood beside me throughout. My life has changed for the best!  Continuous learning is a concept that is centered around prioritizing ongoing development and improvement. Learning that is self-motivated is the most fun and valuable. If one thing has propelled my personal and professional growth, it has been learning something new continuously.
In this blog post, I will share how to approach learning as part of your everyday life and plans. Know why you want to learn As with all of our plans, it is very important to know why you want to learn something new. Your learning goals motivate you to learn and apply the skills you acquired. At the end of every quarter, I reflect on what I learned and plan for the new things I want to learn. As part of this exercise, I think about where I want to go next and what skills will help me succeed. Questions to consider
Do your research It is impressive to see how accessible learning is to us in this day and time. There are so many fantastic courses that are available online for free or at a very low cost. And for those of us who are privileged to invest more in our learning, there are many amazing options to choose from. When I talk to people about their careers, I also ask them what they have learned recently. It gives me a sense of skills that others have that might be interesting to me. Questions to consider
Create your plan Integrating learning into your plan is crucial. I firmly believe that we will only do things that we make a plan for. I always make sure to schedule the time and plan for the money I want to invest in learning. If you already have your resources reserved, you are reducing the barrier that you might face when the time for learning comes. It also helps to have a longer-term plan for what you want to learn. This will help you ensure your learning is aligned with the goals you want to accomplish this year and beyond. Questions to consider
Find a Learning buddy A lot of research shows that we are more likely to work towards a complex goal if we have accountability partners. I love to learn and enjoy being an accountability partner to people around me. We learn together, share knowledge about the learning process, encourage ourselves when discouraged, and celebrate our learning accomplishments. Questions to consider
Take Action Now that you have a learning plan and an accountability partner, it is time to go out there and get started. It is essential to keep your commitment to developing yourself personally and professionally. Take the time to learn something new, apply your skills, and amplify your learnings by sharing them with people around you. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Journey Over the past 13 years, I have consistently made learning a part of my personal and professional life. No year goes by without me learning a new skill. My sister often jokes about me working on more titles and certifications. It has become a part of my life. 2023 started very differently than I imagined. However, I am still very committed to my learning goals. In April, I will be attending a Leadership course that I am very excited about. Great Resources Check out my other blog posts about learning  This week is Thanksgiving in the US. It is a great reminder to take time and reflect on what we are grateful for. Especially when life gets busy, and things are going differently than we planned, Gratitude is a gift. 2022 has been a very eventful year for my family and me. This year, I want to celebrate the milestones and the people who have made this year special. We have a lot to be grateful for.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for this year. Check out my post on what I was grateful for halfway through 2022. #1: Having my awesome family There is something special about going through life with people that love and believe in you. I have been blessed with a son, husband, twin sister, mother, and my husband's family, whom I have known all my life. Although we live very far away from our family, we get to celebrate key moments together and be there for one another. #2: Having a job As someone who lives in the Bay Area, where the news of companies laying off people has been a daily occurrence over the last few weeks, I am grateful that I still have a job. I have been thinking about the fact that it is out of my control, and worrying will not help. Being employed is something I never took for granted, and now, even more than ever. #3: Getting Promoted This year has been one of the most remarkable years in my career. Over the past four years, I have been working very hard toward setting myself up for success at the company where I work at. Seeing the results of my work has been awesome. With the promotion, I felt my contribution was recognized and valued. I am grateful for being able to prioritize work this year. #4: Having people who support my career growth As I have experienced great success in my career this year, I have been reflecting on the amazing people who have supported me on my career journey so far. I still remember the first person to give me an internship at a bank that kicked off my career in program management, the person that gave me my first job when I graduated from university, and the Manager that I now have who has been an advocate for me over the past 18 months. I am grateful for everyone who has supported my career in any way. #5: Working with a great Team The people we work with really make a difference in our experience at work. I have had the opportunity to work with amazing people, especially in my current role. Every day I learn a lot from the people around me and share my knowledge with them. I am grateful for my amazing team. #6: Having certain privileges in life Especially this year, I have been reminded that I get to live the life I live today due to the fact that I have certain privileges. I'm grateful for my education, the countries I have lived in, my socioeconomic status, and the opportunities I have had in my life. I often reflect on my life and how much things have changed over the past 21 years. I know that I would not be where I am today if not for #7: Having a child-care for our son When our son turned two years old, we were excited for him to start daycare. Especially since our family is very far away, we needed to find a child-care solution where he could be around other kids and develop strong social skills. We were very fortunate to have found a bilingual German and English Daycare around us. It is very important to us that he learns multiple languages as he grows older. #8: Being Healthy This year more than ever, we saw a lot of people around us get sick. Our family has stayed mostly healthy throughout the year. Seeing what others are going through has renewed my Gratitude for our health. Especially with a small kid, watching other kids get seriously ill has made me not complain about minor illnesses. #9: Being able to visit beautiful Places As a family, we are committed to traveling and enjoying the world's beauty. This year we got to travel to the UK and San Diego. Both of those vacations helped us see new places and appreciate how incredible the world is. We are also very fortunate to live in California, where we are surrounded by many beautiful places that we are yet to explore. #10: Being alive and seeing another day I have never taken my health for granted, and with everything happening in the world, I am very grateful for life. I do not want the hope for progress in my life to make me forget that I have a good life now. Every day that I get to live is a tremendous gift. Final Thoughts: MC's Journey Over the past four years, I have been more intentional about documenting what I am grateful for. Gratitude helps reduce my worrying and fills me with hope for the future. Going through the exercise reassures me that things will work out perfectly as they have in the past, even if my plans change. Time for Reflection What are five things that you are grateful for in 2022? Who are three people that you are grateful for in 2022? How will you make Gratitude a part of your life?  About four years ago, the women in my Mastermind Group decided to read "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown. It has been a book that has changed my perspective on many things. Since I learned about vulnerability as a sign of strength and not weakness, it has helped me get comfortable with my feelings and emotions.
In this blog post, I will share areas of my life where I am allowing myself and the impact it has had on me. Starting point: What does being Vulnerable mean? I like Brené Brown's definition of vulnerability as "the feeling we get during times of uncertainty, risk, or emotional exposure. This includes times when we're showing our feelings, and we're not sure what people will think, and times when we really care about something and people will know that we're sad or disappointed when it doesn't work out." Being Vulnerable at work Thinking about being vulnerable at work is something that we are trained not to do. Acknowledging that there are many things that I know and others that I do not know is difficult. I have learned that it is ok to be vocal about it. Another area where I am vulnerable at work is sharing how much I struggled when I started working at a company that many people think is a dream company. I felt a lot of shame about the fact that I was not living the dream. Talking about my experience helped me overcome the sadness I felt and move on. Being Vulnerable in relationships It is weird, but even when we love people, sometimes it feels tough to be vulnerable with them. There is always a fear of being taken for granted when you bear it all and share how you feel. As my relationships have matured, I have had to decide to put myself out there and show my true feelings. I had to learn not to hold back when it came to love and not be afraid of disappointment. Being Vulnerable as a mother Especially when I talk to other mothers, I am candid about areas where I am not doing things people expect of a "perfect mother." I openly share the challenges I have faced so far on my journey. It is scary to talk about the challenges I had breastfeeding my son in the first three weeks of his life, challenges sleep training, dealing with mum guilt, and much more. Being vulnerable has helped me connect with other amazing women. Being Vulnerable about my background For the longest time, I did not feel comfortable sharing about the fact that I grew up poor and was homeless at one point in my life in Germany. I was very self-conscious and thought people might look at me differently if they knew. This was indeed a story I told myself. When I got the courage to share, I learned more about other people's similar experiences. My background contributed a lot to who I am today. Being Vulnerable about my insecurities One of the most difficult blog posts I wrote was when I shared about dealing with my insecurities. My weight gain was something I needed to come to terms with over the last few years. I could not believe that I actually wrote and published a blog post when I shared about it. It helped me see how much it mattered to me and the fact that everything was still alright. Talking about my insecurities is still hard, but I am learning to push through the discomfort. Being Vulnerable about my fears In my birthday blog post last week, I shared ten things about myself, and for some reason, I wanted to share one of the fears on my mind. I shared about the fact that I am almost worried that no one will show up to events that I organize or read my blog posts. It is something that has held me back from taking big steps. Writing it down reminded me that it is real and I can overcome my fears. Being Vulnerable about my dreams Especially in the Nigerian culture, you are told not to share about your dreams. People have different thoughts about why you should not share your dreams. I always wondered, what if the goals and dreams I share never come true? The fact that people know and can see my disappointment makes me not want to share. I am being vulnerable by sharing my yearly goals, the progress I am making, and areas where I still have work to do. Final Thoughts Being vulnerable has helped me be my whole self and connected me with fabulous people. You never know who you are helping by showing up as yourself and accepting that no one is perfect. We all have the opportunity to continue learning and growing.  From time to time, I write posts about topics that I am currently working on, and this is one of them. Recently, I have been thinking about the state of my relationships and friendships over the past years. The people in my life have been companions, advisors, cheerleaders, and supporters on my journey. One of my latest realizations is that I am missing human connections and need to make a change.
In this blog post, we will discuss five strategies to build and maintain healthy relationships with people we love and care about. #1: Think about the relationships that are important to you We all have people who have played a crucial role in our lives. Especially at times when you are yearning for more connection, it helps to think about the people you already have on your side. My circle is very small, and I can tell you the significant role that everyone plays in my life. Most of them have been my friends for a very long time. Questions to consider
#2: Reflect on what is working or not working in your relationships Now that you have a list of the relationships you care about, now is an excellent time to reflect on the strengths and areas of improvement. It can be very easy to take our relationships for granted and not think about what we can do to improve them. Questions to consider
#3: Analyze what is standing in the way of you building the types of relationships you want and need As we get busy or go through life, we can neglect the relationships that matter. One of the lessons that I have learned through my reflection on my relationships is that I am not dedicating enough time to my relationships. Many things have a hold on my time in this phase in my life, sadly leading to me dedicating less time to connect with people around me. Questions to consider
#4: Make a list of changes you want to make Healthy relationships take being intentional and work. We can make some changes to have the best relationships with the people we care about. Questions to consider
#5: Make commitments and take action Now is a great time to invest in your relationships and make the changes you identified. The truth is we will always be busy; it will take us making time for relationships with people that are close to us. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The people around us contribute significantly to our mental and emotional well-being. I realized I do not have a solid social network in the US. Although I've been living here for seven years, most of my close friends and support network are from my time in Germany and Nigeria. The truth is that I don't make time and have become less social. My task over the next weeks is to reconnect with people I care about and plan for more opportunities to meet new people. Call to Action Tell three people in your life how much you appreciate them over the next two weeks.  Recently, I have been reflecting on who I am and my purpose in life. So many things in life lead to us feeling like we no longer know who we are and what we care about. Over the last two years, many of our lives have changed drastically, and many things are no longer the same. In addition to the things happening in the world, some of us have gone through other changes, such as becoming new parents, gaining professional success, gaining financial independence, or experiencing loss. We have all been through much more changes than we were used to. With the changes could come a sense of feeling like you don't know who you are and have lost your sense of self.
In this blog post, we will explore how to deal with the feeling of losing yourself. How are you feeling? Acknowledging your feelings is very important. We go through life so quickly and are often not in touch with our deepest feelings. Then once we know what we are feeling, it's important not to judge ourselves and accept how we are feeling. Strategies to consider
Who are you now? We are not the same person we were two years ago. Part of feeling that you are lost is not being in touch with who you are. Take the time to rediscover who you are now, what you like, and your dreams and aspirations. Strategies to consider
What are new things that you want to explore? We all change and evolve on our life journeys. Instead of yearning for what excited us in the past, it is time to think about the new things that will bring you joy. Along with discovering your new self, take time to get excited about the future. Strategies to consider
How will you make time for yourself? There are so many people and things that are competing for our attention. It takes much more work to find time for ourselves. I realized that everyone's definition of making time for themselves differs. Strategies to consider
How will you celebrate your awesomeness? The truth is that you are who you were meant to be, and you are awesome. Not celebrating who you are and the journey you have been on makes you feel lost. Permit yourself to be your authentic self. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's journey Over the last two and a half years, I have gone through pregnancy, had a baby, lived through a pandemic, worked hard, accomplished professional success, being a mum and wife. With all the significant life changes and added responsibilities, I have not had much time to focus on myself. Life is good, and I'm making progress. However, I feel like I need to be in touch with my feelings, dreams, and desires more. Before the pandemic, I had a planning day once every quarter, where I went to the library to prepare for the quarter ahead. It helped me revisit my goals, evaluate my progress, and learn from areas where I was not accomplishing what I planned. The alone time really helped me sit with my thoughts.  2022 has been a very intense year for many people worldwide. The list of things that are going wrong seems quite long. Living in these times has a real impact on our mental health and outlook on our future. I have been more intentional about making sure my mind is healthy and that I am hopeful for the future.
In this blog post, we will explore things we can do to regain hope and stay optimistic. Focus on things that are going well It is very easy to see and think about the things that are going wrong. We need to be more intentional about taking stock of things that are going well. Our minds do not automatically do this, and practice is required to make it easier. Questions to consider
Surround yourself with positive people The people around us play a very important role in helping us have a more positive outlook on life. We all know people who either uplift us or dampen our mood. It is crucial to be mindful of your relationships as they influence your view and emotional wellbeing. Questions to consider
Take charge of your emotional wellbeing Often it feels like we do not have control of our happiness and mental wellbeing. We let people and things happening around us determine how we feel. Over the past years, I have reclaimed control of my happiness. It led me on the journey of discovering what affects or increases my joy. Questions to consider
Make Changes and Take Action It is one thing to know what affects your happiness and another to do something about it. I noticed that watching the news made me anxious and made me feel sad about the world. One concrete action I had to take was to cut out the news from my daily routine. It is crucial to make changes that will help you stay happy. Questions to consider
Add more positive influences to your life With all the negative things going on in our world, it is crucial for us to add more positivity to our lives. We can prioritize creating moments that bring us joy and laughter. This year, we had a great time with our family and are making an effort to enjoy the beautiful things in life. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The other day, I was reflecting on the times we live in and the fact that I cannot remember a time when so many negative things were happening at once. It is definitely an unprecedented time, and we need to do things differently. Take charge of your happiness and enjoy life !!!  With six months of this year behind us, it is a great time to reflect. Reflecting on my experiences this year, I was amazed at how much I have to be grateful. I had to be intentional about celebrating the highlights because focusing on the hardships and lowlights is very easy. Gratitude is a practice that helps me adjust my perspective. Research also shows that reflecting on what you are grateful for makes you a happy human.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for. Check out my post "Are you thinking about the good things in your life?" for ten questions you can ask yourself as you reflect on the great things happening in your life. #1: Watching our son grow In the almost two years that our son has been a part of our lives, he has grown and developed beautifully. I am grateful every day that I watch him grow and learn new things. The way he smiles at me is something that I can not explain in words. #2: Being able to spend time with family This past June, we spent time with our family for the first time in four years. It was very special because our son got to meet his aunties and uncles. I am very thankful for all the laughter and memories we created together. #3: Accomplishing key career milestones For many years I have been setting a foundation for a successful career. It all started coming together this year. I have had many great career successes this year that have made me very proud. #4: Being physically healthy Over the last years, I have struggled with gastritis, which typically flairs up when I am stressed. Being sick in my gut took out the joy of eating and caused a lot of getting used. I'm very thankful that this year has been better for me physically, and I have not suffered as much. #5: Being mentally healthy This year, I have been swamped and felt the weight of all my responsibilities. One of the practices that have helped me is to check in on my mental health regularly and do things that de-stress me and bring me joy. I can confidently say that my mental health is good. #6: Being physically safe There have been a lot of things that have happened to people in places where I live or have lived in the past. I am very grateful that my family and I are safe. Physical safety is one of our basic needs, and it is sadly not available to everyone. #7: Learning new skills One of the things that bring me joy is learning a new skill. With the pandemic and having a baby, I had not been able to invest the time in learning since 2020. Sitting in a class and learning made me very happy. I'm very grateful to add new skills to my portfolio. #8: Having a passion project Fulfilling my purpose is something that is a priority in my life. I feel balanced when I get to do things that I am passionate about. In this phase of my life, I am doing what I can to support the women around me. My weekly blog is one of the components of my passion project. I am grateful to have a way to contribute to my community positively. #9: Being happy and content Compared to the other phases of my life so far, I am happier now. In addition to things in my life mainly going well, I have learned to guide my happiness. I am happy with the progress I am making toward my goals and very grateful for the life I have. #10: Feeling excited about the future Sometimes we let the fear of the unknown take over. When I think about my future, I am very excited. Thinking about my goals, creating plans, and taking action toward building the life I want to live makes me happy. I am grateful that I am in a place where I can lay the building blocks for the life that I desire. Final Thoughts It is very easy to remember things that have not gone well in our lives. Reflecting on the highlights and documenting them gives you a place you can always go back to when you need a reminder. We all have a lot to be grateful for. Call to Action What are three things that you are grateful for? How will you remind yourself of the good things in your life?  On our life journey, we need to unlearn things to make way for us to learn other things and live our best lives. Some beliefs,
mindsets, and behaviors we learned in our formative years no longer serve us well and need to be unlearned. Holding on to them can hinder your growth and the quality of life. In this blog post, I will share the ten things I had to unlearn to thrive and be happy. #1: Thinking a "suffering" mother is a good mother Over the past two years, as I have discovered who I am as a mother, I have become more aware of the picture of motherhood I grew up with. The expectation of a mother was that she would do everything to meet everyone's needs. However, I could not meet my imagined standards in my current phase. My life is very different; I live far away from my family, so I don't have my village to support me. I had to let go of the vision of a perfect mother and be the best mother I could be to our son, even if it looked different. Strategies to consider
#2: Focusing on my weaknesses vs. strengths There is that thought that you have to keep working on getting rid of your weaknesses. We were taught to believe we were not good enough and needed to keep aspiring to improve. I remember growing up hearing all the things people thought I did not do well and asking me to work on them. There were hardly any conversations about what I did well. About seven years ago, when I moved to the US, there was a shift in my thinking. I started celebrating my strengths and creating opportunities to leverage them. Strategies to consider
#3: Doubting my intuition and thinking others know more than me From my upbringing, I observed people seeking advice, validation, and expertise from others. I firmly believe that we have intuition to guide our decisions. Unlearning having to go to others before I made decisions helped me make decisions that were more aligned with my values and the direction I want my life to go in. Strategies to consider
#4: Thinking that learning ends Growing up, when learning was discussed, it was mostly striving to get a degree and then be done with it. The concept of continuous learning was a little foreign. I always yearned to learn new skills even after getting my degrees. I had to unlearn the thinking that there is an end to learning. Being a lifelong learner has really set me up for success. Strategies to consider
#5: Doubting that I can build wealth Conversations around finances were tense when I was growing up. We always worried about money and could not make ends meet. For the longest time, I believed that being financially independent was out of my reach. I had to change my relationship with money and learn ways to improve my financial status. Strategies to consider
#6: Asking for what I want or deserve It takes a lot of time to discover yourself and know what you want. Then it takes a lot of courage to ask for what you want and deserve. I thought you were annoying if you had expectations and voiced them. Especially in a professional setting, I kept seeing people get things they asked for while I wasn't. Negotiating for my salary or benefits at work was something I did not know how to do, and I felt resentment when what was offered was less than what I wanted. I quickly had to unlearn being uncomfortable asking for what I wanted and learn great negotiation skills. Strategies to consider
#7: Refusing to ask for help I grew up thinking that needing help was a sign of weakness. It took me a very long time to reframe my thinking and learn that I needed to ask for help. My turning point was going through months of feeling overwhelmed and not seeing a way out. I now know that people around me are ready to jump in and support me when I ask for help. Strategies to consider
#8: Being hesitant to share my feelings and struggles with people Growing up in a culture where we were taught only to say good things and that bad things happen because we confessed them influenced me heavily. I did everything possible to hide the pain and discomfort I was feeling, even from people close to me, because I thought that was the right thing to do. Keeping all the emotions bottled up was not good for my mental and physical health. Being able to have honest conversations and be vulnerable with my community has helped me tremendously. Strategies to consider
#9: Not talking about my accomplishments When I was growing up, you were perceived as proud if you spoke about your accomplishments. In Nigeria, people thought you should wait for others to talk about you, and in Germany, it was that your work would speak for itself. While that way of thinking works in places where people know you or you have a reputation, it does not work in new environments where no one knows you, and you have to win over their trust very quickly. That was exactly my experience when I moved to the US and had a very short time establishing myself and my brand. I had to unlearn all my thinking about talking about my accomplishments and find a way that felt natural to me. Strategies to consider
#10: Avoiding planning the future Shortsighted living makes you miss many opportunities. It was not common to see people who shared their dreams, aspirations, and goals. It seemed like people were afraid of the future and decided not to focus on it. I had the learn to plan for the future and be flexible to make changes as life takes its course. I am hopeful and no longer afraid when I think of the future. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts It is awesome that we have the ability to unlearn and learn new things in all phases of our lives. I am certain that my list of things that I am unlearning will grow and change as I progress on my journey. Call to Action What are three things that you have unlearned? What are three things that you want to unlearn?  May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a reminder for us to prioritize our Mental Health. I have been reflecting on my thoughts about mental health at this stage in my life and the lessons that I learned on my journey.
In this blog post, I will share five things that I know about mental health that would have saved me some painful experiences if I had learned them in my childhood. #1: Check-in on your mental health often Interestingly, it is very easy to go through life and forget to check in on how you are doing mentally. It took me a while to realize that I was not aware of the state of my mental health. Sadly, I got to a place where I was really struggling before I started making changes. Knowing that I have a lot going on in my life, I am now very intentional about making sure my mental health is good. When I start feeling the impact of neglecting myself, I take action to get back into alignment. What am I doing differently now?
#2: You need to unlearn a lot you learned about mental health We all learned what we know about mental health from society, family, and friends. Some of the lessons serve us well, and others do not. It is our responsibility to unlearn some of those lessons and learn ways to care for our mental health. One of the things that I had to let go of was that it was a sign of strength to hide your feelings. By observing the people and hearing conversations around me, I learned to suppress emotions that led to me feeling a lot of internal stress and negatively impacted my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
#3: Do not let the stigma around Mental health stop you from getting help There is still a lot of stigma around getting additional support when you need it. The way people talk about therapy and other mental health resources that can help your mental health can sometimes be discouraging. It is crucial to acknowledge when you need help and get the help you need. This is something that will help you live a great life and thrive. What am I doing differently now?
#4: You need a community of people who care about mental health Surrounding yourself with people who are aware and intentional about maintaining their mental health will make a huge difference. They help you see that you are not alone with whatever struggles you have, and we can all be there for each other through the good and bad days. Having honest conversations about how I'm doing mentally has really made a difference in my life. When I have check-ins with my support community, it helps remind me that things will always get better. What am I doing differently now?
#5: Show yourself some compassion and grace Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, which makes things worse for our emotional well-being. In situations where I spent time judging myself for feeling a certain way, it did not help me at all. It was easier for me to understand other people struggling with their mental health and give them grace, but I struggled to do the same for myself. When I feel down, I need to stop judging myself for how I feel. Being kind to myself relieves my stress and improves my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
Final Thoughts Talking about our mental health needs to become a regular aspect of our lives. We share other physical health practices such as exercise or a healthy diet; imagine a world where people feel more comfortable sharing their mental health and getting help when needed. Call to Action How are you maintaining your mental health? Prioritize your mental health What have you learned about mental health that you want to unlearn? Unlearn things that do not serve you  This past weekend while I was trying to put my 19-month-old son to sleep unsuccessfully, I started thinking about how easy it was to get upset and be in a bad mood. I was looking down on him and decided to focus on the good things that were happening in my life. A lot is going on in our lives that can make us feel frustrated if we focus on them. If you feel the weight of life on your shoulders, you are not alone. One thing we can control is our mindset. Sometimes, we need to actively remind ourselves of the good that is happening in our lives.
In this blog post, we will ask ourselves ten questions that will help us adjust our perspective and focus on the positive things in our lives. #1: What was the last thing that made you smile? Think back on the happy feelings you feel when someone does something nice for you or has a great experience. As I write this post, I am smiling at the things in my life that have made me happy recently. One realization that I had is that with a child, many cute moments make us smile. #2: What was a recent compliment someone gave you? Although I believe that we should not base our happiness on what others say to us, I do value the external perspective that people can give you by recognizing a great thing that you have done. #3: How have the people in your life contributed positively to you? The people that we surround ourselves with play a vital role. I feel very blessed to have great people in my life who have added significant value. My family and friends are a crucial part of my journey, and they make me feel supported. The amazing people in my life are a gift in many ways. I am grateful that I have great people who are my life companions. #4: What was one recent accomplishment at work? We spend a lot of time working towards our professional goals. It is time to celebrate all we have accomplished at work this year. We often let our professional accomplishments go unnoticed. #5: What was the latest new memory you created? We live in a time where we get to capture moments in pictures, videos, or other digital ways. Look back on your recent pictures and re-live the beautiful moments you have had. #6: What was the last very delicious meal you ate? Food is one of the highlights of my life. It might just be me, but it makes me happy when I think of good things that I have gotten to eat. #7: What was the last fun activity that you did? Doing something you really enjoy is a great way to evoke happy feelings. Think about a great time you had recently. #8: What new thing have you learned lately? Growing and learning new skills are necessary to live the amazing lives we desire. I am always excited when I acquire a new skill or a life lesson. Adding knowledge to my toolkit helps me prepare for the future. #9: What was the last thing you did to celebrate yourself? It is very easy to remember to celebrate with others and forget about yourself. I have always admired people who made it a point to celebrate all of their milestones. It could be a birthday, promotion, anniversary, or other pivotal moments in your life. Think about how you felt when you celebrated yourself. #10: When was the last time you were your authentic self? Being our authentic selves makes us happy and feel fulfilled. Celebrate the moments when you were true to yourself. You are who you were destined to be. Final Thoughts - MC's Story Writing this blog post reminded me of the amazing things that have happened in my life this year. I am very grateful for all the "highlights" and great memories. My life is far from perfect. However, it is filled with many happy moments and memories. The next time that I am feeling down. I will come back to this post and ask myself these questions.  Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mothers and caregivers!!! Being a mother has been one of the journeys in my life that have turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. Getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term was scary to me initially due to my prior health history. The interesting turns continued with having a baby during a global pandemic. Now I have a toddler who is discovering the world. I am very grateful for all my experiences.
In this blog post, I will share ten questions that I reflect on very often about motherhood. This is only the start of a great learning life-long journey. How has being a mother changed my identity? The concept of motherhood is beyond the point when the child joins the family. Over my pregnancy and the 18 months of my son's life, I have reflected on how motherhood has changed who I am. While the code of who I am and my values have not changed, and my perspective has shifted significantly. What does being a good mother mean? One thought that keeps me going is that I am the best mother for my son. We both get to define our relationship, learn from each other and grow. The image of a perfect mother does not exist because our journeys are different. I have seen that even my twin sister is s very different mother to her children. Can I be a good working mother? As far as I can remember, my mum worked and cared for my sister and me in my childhood. I have been fortunate to see working mothers who have successful careers and are excellent caregivers. This is the path that I have chosen for myself, and I am extremely fulfilled by being able to work on building a successful career and growing my family. How do I avoid the pressures of motherhood? For my mental health, I try not to put myself in a place where I feel I have to be like someone else. After I had my son, I stopped reading posts and articles from mothers who portrayed perfection. I struggled with breastfeeding my baby and felt judged by what I was reading. Shutting out those external stressors made my life much better. Everything you read, watch, or listen to is a snapshot of someone's life that they choose to share with you. What is one thing that keeps me going? My son is one of my biggest motivators. I want to give him all he needs to live a happy, kind, and fulfilled life. I have always been self-motivated and driven to do my best. However, now more than ever, I know why I am working hard at accomplishing my goals. What is my favorite part of being a mum? When I feel like the world stops and everything is perfect, my son smiles at me. In those moments, I am reminded that our son lives a great life and is happy. What more can I want beyond knowing that he is being who he was destined to be. Who are my "tribe" on this motherhood journey? Having a baby during a pandemic made our circle very small. We spent the first year of our son's life mostly indoors. My husband has been a strong partner on this parenthood journey. We both jumped right into caring for our family to the best of our abilities. I have learned a lot from my mum, sister, aunties, friends, and the great women in my life. What am I currently learning? I am learning to accept that my situation is unique and have given myself the grace to be flexible. I have to do some things in this phase of my life as a mother and career. Instead of seeking balance, I am accepting that some things might need to be prioritized higher than others at certain times. What do I need to unlearn? Many mothers will tell you about the guilt that plagues them because they think they are falling short of the standard of a good mother. I wonder who set the expectations of what motherhood should be like. There are a lot of variables that make all of our experiences different. Getting rid of the guilt is the only way for us to find happiness and be content. What do I want to do more of? The last 18 months have been an awesome journey, and I am excited about the future. I want to build many more happy memories with my family. Having fun is not something that comes easy to me, and I know that I need to be very intentional about enjoying life. I am committed to savoring every moment we spend together as a family. Final Thoughts I feel very fortunate to have a little human who I get to watch grow. Every day of motherhood is a gift. Some days are challenging, and we need to make difficult decisions. However, there is a lot of joy on this journey to becoming the mother I am meant to be.  In our lives, we experience many ups and downs. I have realized that it is very easy to stay motivated when things are going well. However, it is challenging to keep being motivated when unexpected things happen or when you feel stressed with everything going on in your life. To thrive and live our best lives, we need to develop strategies to maintain our motivation irrespective of what we are going through.
In this blog post, we will explore ways to motivate ourselves in all of life's circumstances. Recognize the power you have over your motivation A lot of us look outside for people or things that motivate us. Being dependent on extrinsic motivators makes you give up the power you have. I believe that you can motivate yourself and do not need to wait for other people. The ability to notice when I am demotivated, discover the root cause, and then take action to restore my motivation makes me feel empowered. Strategies to consider
Remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of this point. When you feel stuck and demotivated, you tend to focus on things that are not going well in your life. I have found that when I intentionally redirect my focus and think about positive things, it helps me feel motivated again. The exercise of reflecting on my accomplishments over a period of time helps shift my perspective. Writing them down helps me visualize and count my blessings. Strategies to consider
Strategize and create a plan One of the ways to renew your motivation is to mentally unblock yourself from your state of feeling stuck and demotivated. When you start planning for the future, your mind focuses on things that are to come, and you are filled with hope. It helps you look past whatever is not going well and helps you see your future clearer. Planning concrete action steps is a way to reclaim your power. Strategies to consider
Do something different When you make changes in your routine, it allows you to explore new things. You might be feeling demotivated because life has become predictable. It might be time to try new things and change something in your life. Strategies to consider
Find inspiration We all need to find things that keep us excited and hopeful. I was talking to someone recently who had just attended a conference, and she spoke about the impact that the experience had on her day. She shared that she felt a new sense of excitement and motivation. Being inspired will definitely increase your motivation. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Life is a lot more fun when we are motivated to do the things we need to accomplish our goals and live out our dreams. Let's do what we can to restore and maintain our motivation. Time to reflect
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