 This week is Thanksgiving in the US. It is a great reminder to take time and reflect on what we are grateful for. Especially when life gets busy, and things are going differently than we planned, Gratitude is a gift. 2022 has been a very eventful year for my family and me. This year, I want to celebrate the milestones and the people who have made this year special. We have a lot to be grateful for.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for this year. Check out my post on what I was grateful for halfway through 2022. #1: Having my awesome family There is something special about going through life with people that love and believe in you. I have been blessed with a son, husband, twin sister, mother, and my husband's family, whom I have known all my life. Although we live very far away from our family, we get to celebrate key moments together and be there for one another. #2: Having a job As someone who lives in the Bay Area, where the news of companies laying off people has been a daily occurrence over the last few weeks, I am grateful that I still have a job. I have been thinking about the fact that it is out of my control, and worrying will not help. Being employed is something I never took for granted, and now, even more than ever. #3: Getting Promoted This year has been one of the most remarkable years in my career. Over the past four years, I have been working very hard toward setting myself up for success at the company where I work at. Seeing the results of my work has been awesome. With the promotion, I felt my contribution was recognized and valued. I am grateful for being able to prioritize work this year. #4: Having people who support my career growth As I have experienced great success in my career this year, I have been reflecting on the amazing people who have supported me on my career journey so far. I still remember the first person to give me an internship at a bank that kicked off my career in program management, the person that gave me my first job when I graduated from university, and the Manager that I now have who has been an advocate for me over the past 18 months. I am grateful for everyone who has supported my career in any way. #5: Working with a great Team The people we work with really make a difference in our experience at work. I have had the opportunity to work with amazing people, especially in my current role. Every day I learn a lot from the people around me and share my knowledge with them. I am grateful for my amazing team. #6: Having certain privileges in life Especially this year, I have been reminded that I get to live the life I live today due to the fact that I have certain privileges. I'm grateful for my education, the countries I have lived in, my socioeconomic status, and the opportunities I have had in my life. I often reflect on my life and how much things have changed over the past 21 years. I know that I would not be where I am today if not for #7: Having a child-care for our son When our son turned two years old, we were excited for him to start daycare. Especially since our family is very far away, we needed to find a child-care solution where he could be around other kids and develop strong social skills. We were very fortunate to have found a bilingual German and English Daycare around us. It is very important to us that he learns multiple languages as he grows older. #8: Being Healthy This year more than ever, we saw a lot of people around us get sick. Our family has stayed mostly healthy throughout the year. Seeing what others are going through has renewed my Gratitude for our health. Especially with a small kid, watching other kids get seriously ill has made me not complain about minor illnesses. #9: Being able to visit beautiful Places As a family, we are committed to traveling and enjoying the world's beauty. This year we got to travel to the UK and San Diego. Both of those vacations helped us see new places and appreciate how incredible the world is. We are also very fortunate to live in California, where we are surrounded by many beautiful places that we are yet to explore. #10: Being alive and seeing another day I have never taken my health for granted, and with everything happening in the world, I am very grateful for life. I do not want the hope for progress in my life to make me forget that I have a good life now. Every day that I get to live is a tremendous gift. Final Thoughts: MC's Journey Over the past four years, I have been more intentional about documenting what I am grateful for. Gratitude helps reduce my worrying and fills me with hope for the future. Going through the exercise reassures me that things will work out perfectly as they have in the past, even if my plans change. Time for Reflection What are five things that you are grateful for in 2022? Who are three people that you are grateful for in 2022? How will you make Gratitude a part of your life?
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 About four years ago, the women in my Mastermind Group decided to read "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown. It has been a book that has changed my perspective on many things. Since I learned about vulnerability as a sign of strength and not weakness, it has helped me get comfortable with my feelings and emotions.
In this blog post, I will share areas of my life where I am allowing myself and the impact it has had on me. Starting point: What does being Vulnerable mean? I like Brené Brown's definition of vulnerability as "the feeling we get during times of uncertainty, risk, or emotional exposure. This includes times when we're showing our feelings, and we're not sure what people will think, and times when we really care about something and people will know that we're sad or disappointed when it doesn't work out." Being Vulnerable at work Thinking about being vulnerable at work is something that we are trained not to do. Acknowledging that there are many things that I know and others that I do not know is difficult. I have learned that it is ok to be vocal about it. Another area where I am vulnerable at work is sharing how much I struggled when I started working at a company that many people think is a dream company. I felt a lot of shame about the fact that I was not living the dream. Talking about my experience helped me overcome the sadness I felt and move on. Being Vulnerable in relationships It is weird, but even when we love people, sometimes it feels tough to be vulnerable with them. There is always a fear of being taken for granted when you bear it all and share how you feel. As my relationships have matured, I have had to decide to put myself out there and show my true feelings. I had to learn not to hold back when it came to love and not be afraid of disappointment. Being Vulnerable as a mother Especially when I talk to other mothers, I am candid about areas where I am not doing things people expect of a "perfect mother." I openly share the challenges I have faced so far on my journey. It is scary to talk about the challenges I had breastfeeding my son in the first three weeks of his life, challenges sleep training, dealing with mum guilt, and much more. Being vulnerable has helped me connect with other amazing women. Being Vulnerable about my background For the longest time, I did not feel comfortable sharing about the fact that I grew up poor and was homeless at one point in my life in Germany. I was very self-conscious and thought people might look at me differently if they knew. This was indeed a story I told myself. When I got the courage to share, I learned more about other people's similar experiences. My background contributed a lot to who I am today. Being Vulnerable about my insecurities One of the most difficult blog posts I wrote was when I shared about dealing with my insecurities. My weight gain was something I needed to come to terms with over the last few years. I could not believe that I actually wrote and published a blog post when I shared about it. It helped me see how much it mattered to me and the fact that everything was still alright. Talking about my insecurities is still hard, but I am learning to push through the discomfort. Being Vulnerable about my fears In my birthday blog post last week, I shared ten things about myself, and for some reason, I wanted to share one of the fears on my mind. I shared about the fact that I am almost worried that no one will show up to events that I organize or read my blog posts. It is something that has held me back from taking big steps. Writing it down reminded me that it is real and I can overcome my fears. Being Vulnerable about my dreams Especially in the Nigerian culture, you are told not to share about your dreams. People have different thoughts about why you should not share your dreams. I always wondered, what if the goals and dreams I share never come true? The fact that people know and can see my disappointment makes me not want to share. I am being vulnerable by sharing my yearly goals, the progress I am making, and areas where I still have work to do. Final Thoughts Being vulnerable has helped me be my whole self and connected me with fabulous people. You never know who you are helping by showing up as yourself and accepting that no one is perfect. We all have the opportunity to continue learning and growing.  From time to time, I write posts about topics that I am currently working on, and this is one of them. Recently, I have been thinking about the state of my relationships and friendships over the past years. The people in my life have been companions, advisors, cheerleaders, and supporters on my journey. One of my latest realizations is that I am missing human connections and need to make a change.
In this blog post, we will discuss five strategies to build and maintain healthy relationships with people we love and care about. #1: Think about the relationships that are important to you We all have people who have played a crucial role in our lives. Especially at times when you are yearning for more connection, it helps to think about the people you already have on your side. My circle is very small, and I can tell you the significant role that everyone plays in my life. Most of them have been my friends for a very long time. Questions to consider
#2: Reflect on what is working or not working in your relationships Now that you have a list of the relationships you care about, now is an excellent time to reflect on the strengths and areas of improvement. It can be very easy to take our relationships for granted and not think about what we can do to improve them. Questions to consider
#3: Analyze what is standing in the way of you building the types of relationships you want and need As we get busy or go through life, we can neglect the relationships that matter. One of the lessons that I have learned through my reflection on my relationships is that I am not dedicating enough time to my relationships. Many things have a hold on my time in this phase in my life, sadly leading to me dedicating less time to connect with people around me. Questions to consider
#4: Make a list of changes you want to make Healthy relationships take being intentional and work. We can make some changes to have the best relationships with the people we care about. Questions to consider
#5: Make commitments and take action Now is a great time to invest in your relationships and make the changes you identified. The truth is we will always be busy; it will take us making time for relationships with people that are close to us. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The people around us contribute significantly to our mental and emotional well-being. I realized I do not have a solid social network in the US. Although I've been living here for seven years, most of my close friends and support network are from my time in Germany and Nigeria. The truth is that I don't make time and have become less social. My task over the next weeks is to reconnect with people I care about and plan for more opportunities to meet new people. Call to Action Tell three people in your life how much you appreciate them over the next two weeks.  Recently, I have been reflecting on who I am and my purpose in life. So many things in life lead to us feeling like we no longer know who we are and what we care about. Over the last two years, many of our lives have changed drastically, and many things are no longer the same. In addition to the things happening in the world, some of us have gone through other changes, such as becoming new parents, gaining professional success, gaining financial independence, or experiencing loss. We have all been through much more changes than we were used to. With the changes could come a sense of feeling like you don't know who you are and have lost your sense of self.
In this blog post, we will explore how to deal with the feeling of losing yourself. How are you feeling? Acknowledging your feelings is very important. We go through life so quickly and are often not in touch with our deepest feelings. Then once we know what we are feeling, it's important not to judge ourselves and accept how we are feeling. Strategies to consider
Who are you now? We are not the same person we were two years ago. Part of feeling that you are lost is not being in touch with who you are. Take the time to rediscover who you are now, what you like, and your dreams and aspirations. Strategies to consider
What are new things that you want to explore? We all change and evolve on our life journeys. Instead of yearning for what excited us in the past, it is time to think about the new things that will bring you joy. Along with discovering your new self, take time to get excited about the future. Strategies to consider
How will you make time for yourself? There are so many people and things that are competing for our attention. It takes much more work to find time for ourselves. I realized that everyone's definition of making time for themselves differs. Strategies to consider
How will you celebrate your awesomeness? The truth is that you are who you were meant to be, and you are awesome. Not celebrating who you are and the journey you have been on makes you feel lost. Permit yourself to be your authentic self. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's journey Over the last two and a half years, I have gone through pregnancy, had a baby, lived through a pandemic, worked hard, accomplished professional success, being a mum and wife. With all the significant life changes and added responsibilities, I have not had much time to focus on myself. Life is good, and I'm making progress. However, I feel like I need to be in touch with my feelings, dreams, and desires more. Before the pandemic, I had a planning day once every quarter, where I went to the library to prepare for the quarter ahead. It helped me revisit my goals, evaluate my progress, and learn from areas where I was not accomplishing what I planned. The alone time really helped me sit with my thoughts.  2022 has been a very intense year for many people worldwide. The list of things that are going wrong seems quite long. Living in these times has a real impact on our mental health and outlook on our future. I have been more intentional about making sure my mind is healthy and that I am hopeful for the future.
In this blog post, we will explore things we can do to regain hope and stay optimistic. Focus on things that are going well It is very easy to see and think about the things that are going wrong. We need to be more intentional about taking stock of things that are going well. Our minds do not automatically do this, and practice is required to make it easier. Questions to consider
Surround yourself with positive people The people around us play a very important role in helping us have a more positive outlook on life. We all know people who either uplift us or dampen our mood. It is crucial to be mindful of your relationships as they influence your view and emotional wellbeing. Questions to consider
Take charge of your emotional wellbeing Often it feels like we do not have control of our happiness and mental wellbeing. We let people and things happening around us determine how we feel. Over the past years, I have reclaimed control of my happiness. It led me on the journey of discovering what affects or increases my joy. Questions to consider
Make Changes and Take Action It is one thing to know what affects your happiness and another to do something about it. I noticed that watching the news made me anxious and made me feel sad about the world. One concrete action I had to take was to cut out the news from my daily routine. It is crucial to make changes that will help you stay happy. Questions to consider
Add more positive influences to your life With all the negative things going on in our world, it is crucial for us to add more positivity to our lives. We can prioritize creating moments that bring us joy and laughter. This year, we had a great time with our family and are making an effort to enjoy the beautiful things in life. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts The other day, I was reflecting on the times we live in and the fact that I cannot remember a time when so many negative things were happening at once. It is definitely an unprecedented time, and we need to do things differently. Take charge of your happiness and enjoy life !!!  With six months of this year behind us, it is a great time to reflect. Reflecting on my experiences this year, I was amazed at how much I have to be grateful. I had to be intentional about celebrating the highlights because focusing on the hardships and lowlights is very easy. Gratitude is a practice that helps me adjust my perspective. Research also shows that reflecting on what you are grateful for makes you a happy human.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things I am grateful for. Check out my post "Are you thinking about the good things in your life?" for ten questions you can ask yourself as you reflect on the great things happening in your life. #1: Watching our son grow In the almost two years that our son has been a part of our lives, he has grown and developed beautifully. I am grateful every day that I watch him grow and learn new things. The way he smiles at me is something that I can not explain in words. #2: Being able to spend time with family This past June, we spent time with our family for the first time in four years. It was very special because our son got to meet his aunties and uncles. I am very thankful for all the laughter and memories we created together. #3: Accomplishing key career milestones For many years I have been setting a foundation for a successful career. It all started coming together this year. I have had many great career successes this year that have made me very proud. #4: Being physically healthy Over the last years, I have struggled with gastritis, which typically flairs up when I am stressed. Being sick in my gut took out the joy of eating and caused a lot of getting used. I'm very thankful that this year has been better for me physically, and I have not suffered as much. #5: Being mentally healthy This year, I have been swamped and felt the weight of all my responsibilities. One of the practices that have helped me is to check in on my mental health regularly and do things that de-stress me and bring me joy. I can confidently say that my mental health is good. #6: Being physically safe There have been a lot of things that have happened to people in places where I live or have lived in the past. I am very grateful that my family and I are safe. Physical safety is one of our basic needs, and it is sadly not available to everyone. #7: Learning new skills One of the things that bring me joy is learning a new skill. With the pandemic and having a baby, I had not been able to invest the time in learning since 2020. Sitting in a class and learning made me very happy. I'm very grateful to add new skills to my portfolio. #8: Having a passion project Fulfilling my purpose is something that is a priority in my life. I feel balanced when I get to do things that I am passionate about. In this phase of my life, I am doing what I can to support the women around me. My weekly blog is one of the components of my passion project. I am grateful to have a way to contribute to my community positively. #9: Being happy and content Compared to the other phases of my life so far, I am happier now. In addition to things in my life mainly going well, I have learned to guide my happiness. I am happy with the progress I am making toward my goals and very grateful for the life I have. #10: Feeling excited about the future Sometimes we let the fear of the unknown take over. When I think about my future, I am very excited. Thinking about my goals, creating plans, and taking action toward building the life I want to live makes me happy. I am grateful that I am in a place where I can lay the building blocks for the life that I desire. Final Thoughts It is very easy to remember things that have not gone well in our lives. Reflecting on the highlights and documenting them gives you a place you can always go back to when you need a reminder. We all have a lot to be grateful for. Call to Action What are three things that you are grateful for? How will you remind yourself of the good things in your life?  On our life journey, we need to unlearn things to make way for us to learn other things and live our best lives. Some beliefs,
mindsets, and behaviors we learned in our formative years no longer serve us well and need to be unlearned. Holding on to them can hinder your growth and the quality of life. In this blog post, I will share the ten things I had to unlearn to thrive and be happy. #1: Thinking a "suffering" mother is a good mother Over the past two years, as I have discovered who I am as a mother, I have become more aware of the picture of motherhood I grew up with. The expectation of a mother was that she would do everything to meet everyone's needs. However, I could not meet my imagined standards in my current phase. My life is very different; I live far away from my family, so I don't have my village to support me. I had to let go of the vision of a perfect mother and be the best mother I could be to our son, even if it looked different. Strategies to consider
#2: Focusing on my weaknesses vs. strengths There is that thought that you have to keep working on getting rid of your weaknesses. We were taught to believe we were not good enough and needed to keep aspiring to improve. I remember growing up hearing all the things people thought I did not do well and asking me to work on them. There were hardly any conversations about what I did well. About seven years ago, when I moved to the US, there was a shift in my thinking. I started celebrating my strengths and creating opportunities to leverage them. Strategies to consider
#3: Doubting my intuition and thinking others know more than me From my upbringing, I observed people seeking advice, validation, and expertise from others. I firmly believe that we have intuition to guide our decisions. Unlearning having to go to others before I made decisions helped me make decisions that were more aligned with my values and the direction I want my life to go in. Strategies to consider
#4: Thinking that learning ends Growing up, when learning was discussed, it was mostly striving to get a degree and then be done with it. The concept of continuous learning was a little foreign. I always yearned to learn new skills even after getting my degrees. I had to unlearn the thinking that there is an end to learning. Being a lifelong learner has really set me up for success. Strategies to consider
#5: Doubting that I can build wealth Conversations around finances were tense when I was growing up. We always worried about money and could not make ends meet. For the longest time, I believed that being financially independent was out of my reach. I had to change my relationship with money and learn ways to improve my financial status. Strategies to consider
#6: Asking for what I want or deserve It takes a lot of time to discover yourself and know what you want. Then it takes a lot of courage to ask for what you want and deserve. I thought you were annoying if you had expectations and voiced them. Especially in a professional setting, I kept seeing people get things they asked for while I wasn't. Negotiating for my salary or benefits at work was something I did not know how to do, and I felt resentment when what was offered was less than what I wanted. I quickly had to unlearn being uncomfortable asking for what I wanted and learn great negotiation skills. Strategies to consider
#7: Refusing to ask for help I grew up thinking that needing help was a sign of weakness. It took me a very long time to reframe my thinking and learn that I needed to ask for help. My turning point was going through months of feeling overwhelmed and not seeing a way out. I now know that people around me are ready to jump in and support me when I ask for help. Strategies to consider
#8: Being hesitant to share my feelings and struggles with people Growing up in a culture where we were taught only to say good things and that bad things happen because we confessed them influenced me heavily. I did everything possible to hide the pain and discomfort I was feeling, even from people close to me, because I thought that was the right thing to do. Keeping all the emotions bottled up was not good for my mental and physical health. Being able to have honest conversations and be vulnerable with my community has helped me tremendously. Strategies to consider
#9: Not talking about my accomplishments When I was growing up, you were perceived as proud if you spoke about your accomplishments. In Nigeria, people thought you should wait for others to talk about you, and in Germany, it was that your work would speak for itself. While that way of thinking works in places where people know you or you have a reputation, it does not work in new environments where no one knows you, and you have to win over their trust very quickly. That was exactly my experience when I moved to the US and had a very short time establishing myself and my brand. I had to unlearn all my thinking about talking about my accomplishments and find a way that felt natural to me. Strategies to consider
#10: Avoiding planning the future Shortsighted living makes you miss many opportunities. It was not common to see people who shared their dreams, aspirations, and goals. It seemed like people were afraid of the future and decided not to focus on it. I had the learn to plan for the future and be flexible to make changes as life takes its course. I am hopeful and no longer afraid when I think of the future. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts It is awesome that we have the ability to unlearn and learn new things in all phases of our lives. I am certain that my list of things that I am unlearning will grow and change as I progress on my journey. Call to Action What are three things that you have unlearned? What are three things that you want to unlearn?  May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a reminder for us to prioritize our Mental Health. I have been reflecting on my thoughts about mental health at this stage in my life and the lessons that I learned on my journey.
In this blog post, I will share five things that I know about mental health that would have saved me some painful experiences if I had learned them in my childhood. #1: Check-in on your mental health often Interestingly, it is very easy to go through life and forget to check in on how you are doing mentally. It took me a while to realize that I was not aware of the state of my mental health. Sadly, I got to a place where I was really struggling before I started making changes. Knowing that I have a lot going on in my life, I am now very intentional about making sure my mental health is good. When I start feeling the impact of neglecting myself, I take action to get back into alignment. What am I doing differently now?
#2: You need to unlearn a lot you learned about mental health We all learned what we know about mental health from society, family, and friends. Some of the lessons serve us well, and others do not. It is our responsibility to unlearn some of those lessons and learn ways to care for our mental health. One of the things that I had to let go of was that it was a sign of strength to hide your feelings. By observing the people and hearing conversations around me, I learned to suppress emotions that led to me feeling a lot of internal stress and negatively impacted my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
#3: Do not let the stigma around Mental health stop you from getting help There is still a lot of stigma around getting additional support when you need it. The way people talk about therapy and other mental health resources that can help your mental health can sometimes be discouraging. It is crucial to acknowledge when you need help and get the help you need. This is something that will help you live a great life and thrive. What am I doing differently now?
#4: You need a community of people who care about mental health Surrounding yourself with people who are aware and intentional about maintaining their mental health will make a huge difference. They help you see that you are not alone with whatever struggles you have, and we can all be there for each other through the good and bad days. Having honest conversations about how I'm doing mentally has really made a difference in my life. When I have check-ins with my support community, it helps remind me that things will always get better. What am I doing differently now?
#5: Show yourself some compassion and grace Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, which makes things worse for our emotional well-being. In situations where I spent time judging myself for feeling a certain way, it did not help me at all. It was easier for me to understand other people struggling with their mental health and give them grace, but I struggled to do the same for myself. When I feel down, I need to stop judging myself for how I feel. Being kind to myself relieves my stress and improves my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
Final Thoughts Talking about our mental health needs to become a regular aspect of our lives. We share other physical health practices such as exercise or a healthy diet; imagine a world where people feel more comfortable sharing their mental health and getting help when needed. Call to Action How are you maintaining your mental health? Prioritize your mental health What have you learned about mental health that you want to unlearn? Unlearn things that do not serve you  This past weekend while I was trying to put my 19-month-old son to sleep unsuccessfully, I started thinking about how easy it was to get upset and be in a bad mood. I was looking down on him and decided to focus on the good things that were happening in my life. A lot is going on in our lives that can make us feel frustrated if we focus on them. If you feel the weight of life on your shoulders, you are not alone. One thing we can control is our mindset. Sometimes, we need to actively remind ourselves of the good that is happening in our lives.
In this blog post, we will ask ourselves ten questions that will help us adjust our perspective and focus on the positive things in our lives. #1: What was the last thing that made you smile? Think back on the happy feelings you feel when someone does something nice for you or has a great experience. As I write this post, I am smiling at the things in my life that have made me happy recently. One realization that I had is that with a child, many cute moments make us smile. #2: What was a recent compliment someone gave you? Although I believe that we should not base our happiness on what others say to us, I do value the external perspective that people can give you by recognizing a great thing that you have done. #3: How have the people in your life contributed positively to you? The people that we surround ourselves with play a vital role. I feel very blessed to have great people in my life who have added significant value. My family and friends are a crucial part of my journey, and they make me feel supported. The amazing people in my life are a gift in many ways. I am grateful that I have great people who are my life companions. #4: What was one recent accomplishment at work? We spend a lot of time working towards our professional goals. It is time to celebrate all we have accomplished at work this year. We often let our professional accomplishments go unnoticed. #5: What was the latest new memory you created? We live in a time where we get to capture moments in pictures, videos, or other digital ways. Look back on your recent pictures and re-live the beautiful moments you have had. #6: What was the last very delicious meal you ate? Food is one of the highlights of my life. It might just be me, but it makes me happy when I think of good things that I have gotten to eat. #7: What was the last fun activity that you did? Doing something you really enjoy is a great way to evoke happy feelings. Think about a great time you had recently. #8: What new thing have you learned lately? Growing and learning new skills are necessary to live the amazing lives we desire. I am always excited when I acquire a new skill or a life lesson. Adding knowledge to my toolkit helps me prepare for the future. #9: What was the last thing you did to celebrate yourself? It is very easy to remember to celebrate with others and forget about yourself. I have always admired people who made it a point to celebrate all of their milestones. It could be a birthday, promotion, anniversary, or other pivotal moments in your life. Think about how you felt when you celebrated yourself. #10: When was the last time you were your authentic self? Being our authentic selves makes us happy and feel fulfilled. Celebrate the moments when you were true to yourself. You are who you were destined to be. Final Thoughts - MC's Story Writing this blog post reminded me of the amazing things that have happened in my life this year. I am very grateful for all the "highlights" and great memories. My life is far from perfect. However, it is filled with many happy moments and memories. The next time that I am feeling down. I will come back to this post and ask myself these questions.  Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mothers and caregivers!!! Being a mother has been one of the journeys in my life that have turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. Getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term was scary to me initially due to my prior health history. The interesting turns continued with having a baby during a global pandemic. Now I have a toddler who is discovering the world. I am very grateful for all my experiences.
In this blog post, I will share ten questions that I reflect on very often about motherhood. This is only the start of a great learning life-long journey. How has being a mother changed my identity? The concept of motherhood is beyond the point when the child joins the family. Over my pregnancy and the 18 months of my son's life, I have reflected on how motherhood has changed who I am. While the code of who I am and my values have not changed, and my perspective has shifted significantly. What does being a good mother mean? One thought that keeps me going is that I am the best mother for my son. We both get to define our relationship, learn from each other and grow. The image of a perfect mother does not exist because our journeys are different. I have seen that even my twin sister is s very different mother to her children. Can I be a good working mother? As far as I can remember, my mum worked and cared for my sister and me in my childhood. I have been fortunate to see working mothers who have successful careers and are excellent caregivers. This is the path that I have chosen for myself, and I am extremely fulfilled by being able to work on building a successful career and growing my family. How do I avoid the pressures of motherhood? For my mental health, I try not to put myself in a place where I feel I have to be like someone else. After I had my son, I stopped reading posts and articles from mothers who portrayed perfection. I struggled with breastfeeding my baby and felt judged by what I was reading. Shutting out those external stressors made my life much better. Everything you read, watch, or listen to is a snapshot of someone's life that they choose to share with you. What is one thing that keeps me going? My son is one of my biggest motivators. I want to give him all he needs to live a happy, kind, and fulfilled life. I have always been self-motivated and driven to do my best. However, now more than ever, I know why I am working hard at accomplishing my goals. What is my favorite part of being a mum? When I feel like the world stops and everything is perfect, my son smiles at me. In those moments, I am reminded that our son lives a great life and is happy. What more can I want beyond knowing that he is being who he was destined to be. Who are my "tribe" on this motherhood journey? Having a baby during a pandemic made our circle very small. We spent the first year of our son's life mostly indoors. My husband has been a strong partner on this parenthood journey. We both jumped right into caring for our family to the best of our abilities. I have learned a lot from my mum, sister, aunties, friends, and the great women in my life. What am I currently learning? I am learning to accept that my situation is unique and have given myself the grace to be flexible. I have to do some things in this phase of my life as a mother and career. Instead of seeking balance, I am accepting that some things might need to be prioritized higher than others at certain times. What do I need to unlearn? Many mothers will tell you about the guilt that plagues them because they think they are falling short of the standard of a good mother. I wonder who set the expectations of what motherhood should be like. There are a lot of variables that make all of our experiences different. Getting rid of the guilt is the only way for us to find happiness and be content. What do I want to do more of? The last 18 months have been an awesome journey, and I am excited about the future. I want to build many more happy memories with my family. Having fun is not something that comes easy to me, and I know that I need to be very intentional about enjoying life. I am committed to savoring every moment we spend together as a family. Final Thoughts I feel very fortunate to have a little human who I get to watch grow. Every day of motherhood is a gift. Some days are challenging, and we need to make difficult decisions. However, there is a lot of joy on this journey to becoming the mother I am meant to be.  In our lives, we experience many ups and downs. I have realized that it is very easy to stay motivated when things are going well. However, it is challenging to keep being motivated when unexpected things happen or when you feel stressed with everything going on in your life. To thrive and live our best lives, we need to develop strategies to maintain our motivation irrespective of what we are going through.
In this blog post, we will explore ways to motivate ourselves in all of life's circumstances. Recognize the power you have over your motivation A lot of us look outside for people or things that motivate us. Being dependent on extrinsic motivators makes you give up the power you have. I believe that you can motivate yourself and do not need to wait for other people. The ability to notice when I am demotivated, discover the root cause, and then take action to restore my motivation makes me feel empowered. Strategies to consider
Remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of this point. When you feel stuck and demotivated, you tend to focus on things that are not going well in your life. I have found that when I intentionally redirect my focus and think about positive things, it helps me feel motivated again. The exercise of reflecting on my accomplishments over a period of time helps shift my perspective. Writing them down helps me visualize and count my blessings. Strategies to consider
Strategize and create a plan One of the ways to renew your motivation is to mentally unblock yourself from your state of feeling stuck and demotivated. When you start planning for the future, your mind focuses on things that are to come, and you are filled with hope. It helps you look past whatever is not going well and helps you see your future clearer. Planning concrete action steps is a way to reclaim your power. Strategies to consider
Do something different When you make changes in your routine, it allows you to explore new things. You might be feeling demotivated because life has become predictable. It might be time to try new things and change something in your life. Strategies to consider
Find inspiration We all need to find things that keep us excited and hopeful. I was talking to someone recently who had just attended a conference, and she spoke about the impact that the experience had on her day. She shared that she felt a new sense of excitement and motivation. Being inspired will definitely increase your motivation. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Life is a lot more fun when we are motivated to do the things we need to accomplish our goals and live out our dreams. Let's do what we can to restore and maintain our motivation. Time to reflect
 To accomplish the bold goals we have planned, we need to guard our time and resources. One of the topics that I have been reflecting on recently is that I have been a little lax with the boundaries that I set, especially around my time. After completing my goals review for the first quarter of this year, I realized that I need to make some changes. At the start of the year, I had identified the need to limit my work hours. However, as the year progressed, I was still overworking. It is something I really want to change in the coming months. The insights gathered have led me to reevaluate the boundaries I need to set to accomplish my goals.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of setting boundaries and the areas where we need them. Why is it important to set boundaries There are multiple benefits of setting boundaries and guarding things we care about, including:
How can we set boundaries and thrive The first step to setting boundaries is thinking about different areas of your life where you want to make changes and evaluating what boundaries you would like to set. One of my guiding thoughts around boundaries is that I will do everything I can to free up my mind and resources to focus on things that will help me accomplish my goals. Set boundaries with your family and friends The people we love are more likely than others to overstep boundaries that we set. I am a strong believer that we need to tell people how we want to be treated in order to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries with family and friends is one of the most challenging things, as we typically want to avoid hurting their feelings. It is crucial to see setting boundaries as a commitment to take good care of yourself. Questions to consider
Set boundaries at work Especially since we spend so much time at work, it is essential to set boundaries there. The pandemic caused many lines between our work and lives to become very blurry. It takes a lot of intentional action to set the boundaries that we need to avoid overworking. Questions to consider
Set boundaries around your finances To accomplish your financial goals, you will need to be intentional and disciplined about how you spend your money. I had seen my finances grow the most when I focused on saving and making wise investments. It is essential to say no to spending my money on things that don't help me build wealth. Sometimes it involves me saying no to people, which is uncomfortable. I remind myself of what I am working on accomplishing in my finances in those situations. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts It is very easy to let go of your boundaries. However, the effect on our well-being and growth is very significant. Setting and maintaining your boundaries is an excellent commitment to yourself. Time to Reflect
 One of the greatest tools to help us accomplish our goals is learning. We need to learn and develop new skills to achieve our bold goals. As I have progressed in my Life and Career, learning has contributed to my success. I am a strong believer in continuous learning and have enjoyed adding knowledge and new skills to my toolkit.
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to make learning a part of your life. For more tips and resources, check out some of my previous posts on learning at the end of this post. Set learning goals every year We need to be very intentional about learning and building new skills. It takes planning and scheduling time actually to make it happen. When I plan my goals every year, I identify three new things that I want to learn and work towards them. My learning goals are typically geared towards developing skills that I do not have but know that I need to succeed professionally and personally. The process of planning what I want to learn excites and empowers me. Questions to consider
Find learning formats that work for you We all learn in different ways, and it is crucial to know how you learn best and go for them. I really enjoy learning from other people's experiences, taking formal trainings, and I also learn through teaching others. When I set my learning goals, I plan for trainings, podcasts, or books that will help me. Questions to consider
Find your learning community Having accountability partners is crucial to maintaining your learning mindset and accomplishing your learning. Knowing that you have people around you who support and encourage you to stick to your learning goals increases your chances of achieving them. I feel fortunate to have a community of people who enjoy learning and work towards their own goals. They provide me with motivation and support while I continue my learning journey. Questions to consider
Share what you learned In my experience, one way to amplify your learning is to share what you learned with others. Whenever I learn something new, I make it a point to write a quick summary and share it with people around me. Professionally, I get to share my knowledge with my team and mentees. In my private life, this blog is an amazing medium for me to share my learnings as well. It is great to be able to deepen my learning by sharing with others. Questions to consider
Continue learning To thrive and accomplish all our goals, we have a lot of learning to do. It is crucial for us always to be learning something new. Unlike when we were studying for degrees, we get to choose what we learn, when, and how. There are so many great resources available to support us on our learning journey. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts This year my professional learning goals are to develop my skills around leading teams and impact programs at scale, driving sustainable organizational culture change. And in my personal life, I want to learn about storytelling and writing a book. I am very excited to learn awesome things this year and continue growing. Call to Action
Great Resources  When people ask us what we want to improve ourselves, a long list of things comes to mind quickly. On the other hand, when we are asked what we love about ourselves, we need to dig deeper to discover what we like about ourselves. I have been on a journey of self-acceptance over the past few years. My strengths and flaws make me the unique person that I am. Accepting them has helped me feel whole and happier. I started seeing myself as a complete person with multiple facets.
In this blog post, we will explore how self-acceptance changes our outlook on life. This post continues our February series on loving ourselves. Starting point: What does self-acceptance mean?
The benefits of accepting ourselves Many great things happen once we start the journey of self-acceptance. #1: We are more confident Knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses changes how you see yourself. You exude a high level of confidence in who you are. Although you know you are not perfect, you are perfectly fine with it. #2: We know that failure or weaknesses do not define us With our flaws, it is crucial to know that they are one aspect of who we are but not the entirety of our identity. We spend so much time focusing on our flaws and allowing them to overshadow our good traits. You are a whole person that has a lot of good to offer. #3: We accept others more One of the biggest challenges we face in relationships is wishing people to change and become more like a mental image of them. After we accept ourselves, it is very easy to accept others for who they are. We don't expect perfection from others and appreciate their whole beings. #4: We are kind to ourselves When we stop wishing we were someone else and accept who we are, we show ourselves more compassion. Our self-talk changes from constant critique to being more understanding and kind to ourselves. We focus more on our strengths and are not as hard on ourselves. #5: We live to our full potential Believing that you are who you were meant to give your newfound energy. You go through life with a sense of positivity and hope. This change in perspective will fuel your life and help you accomplish more. Final Thoughts - MC's Journey A few years ago, I realized that self-acceptance is a gift that only I can give myself. I had gone through most of my life desiring traits that I saw in others. The constant thought of needing to get rid of my flaws to live a good life consumed my mind. It felt like I would never be the "perfect" person that I desired to be. One of the turning points was when I started spending more time getting to know my strengths. I felt energized by focusing on my strengths and celebrated who I was more. My perspective changed from thinking that my flaws defined me to embrace every aspect of my being. Time for Reflection What aspect of yourself do you want to accept? How will you remind yourself to accept who you are daily? How will you celebrate who you are?  This month we are focusing on showing ourselves some love. One of the ways we can celebrate our awesomeness is by leveraging our strengths. It is very easy to talk about what we do not do well. However, focusing on our strengths requires being more intentional. In this blog post, we will explore ways to live in our strengths and be our best selves. Do you know your strengths? One of the things that changed my life was learning more about my strengths. I did not really know what I was good at for the longest time. Many things that people said to me growing up focused on what I could be doing better. I hardly heard, "oh, this is what you are very good at ."It took me actually going on a self-discovery journey to find out what my strengths were. The strengths finder self-assessment was one of the tools that gave me words to describe my strengths. I can now confidently answer the question when I am asked what I'm good at. Another helpful tool to discover my strengths has been feedback that people give me. I struggled with accepting positive feedback as fact. It has helped me see the strengths others see in me. Strategies to consider
Are you using your strengths? Knowing your strengths is great; however, you need to use your strengths. We all have many strengths that we don't think about or rarely use. I see our strengths as gifts that we were given to enrich ourselves, families, community, workplace, and lives of people we come in contact with. Using our strengths will help us feel more fulfilled. I seek opportunities to leverage my strengths in the jobs I do or how I spend my personal time. Strategies to consider
How are you building your strengths? We focus a lot on improving things we are not good at. There is always an opportunity for us to keep getting better at things that we do well. Interesting one of my strengths is that I am a learner. I invest time and explore new ways of learning every year. The better I get at learning, the more fulfilled I feel in my life. I have seen the benefits flow into other areas of my life, like my work. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Over the past six years, I have been on the journey of discovering and leveraging my strengths. It has really changed my outlook on life and how I think about myself. Call to Action Over the next two weeks, find two hours to reflect on the following:
Great Resources  In recent conversations with people around me, I have been hearing the sentiment that the year so far has been exhausting. Typically, when the new year starts, we are all excited and look forward to the wonderful things coming. I was wondering how January felt so long and incredibly busy. Feeling this tired at the beginning of the year was not the plan. It is time for a small reset to make sure we take care of ourselves and live the lives we want.
In this blog post, we will check in ourselves with the help of 10 questions and assess the changes that we need to make to take care of ourselves. In February, we will be focusing on loving ourselves. #1: Have you made time for yourself? It has been a hectic year so far, and it feels like we are running behind everything we want to do. In the last five weeks, I have not spent a lot of time with myself. I feel like I have been pouring myself into work caring for my family and have forgotten what I need. Self-care was something I planned to prioritize this year. However, I have not made the time yet. #2: Are you getting some rest? Sleep is often the first thing we cut when we get busy. Reflecting on the past weeks, I know that I did not get as much sleep as I needed because I was trying to meet self-imposed deadlines. One of the routines that I planned for this year was going to bed on time, but I have not followed through. #3: Are you connecting with great people? Human connection is a source of energy for a lot of us. I really miss spending quality time with people that I like. We are all rushing through life and have forgotten to check-in and have deep conversations with our people. #4: Have you worked towards your goals? You can be very busy but not making progress towards your goals. This is extremely easy when you are overworked or spending more time meeting other people's needs. Do not be discouraged; there are many more weeks for you to work towards your goals. #5: Are you acknowledging how you're feeling? Being honest about how you are feeling is not always easy. Sometimes, it is easier not to think about your feelings because it's hard to process. Admitting to being overwhelmed and exhausted was hard to do. Most of us are taught to suppress our feelings and act like everything is ok. #6: Have you set and communicated your boundaries? Saying yes to things we do not want to do or neglecting to guard our time is one of the causes of overwhelm. If we did some soul searching, we will realize moments when we have said yes when we should have said no. Setting your boundaries is very important to maintain your mental wellbeing. #7: Are you being inspired? Sometimes refreshing your mind helps you feel better when things are going differently than your plan. I really enjoy reading books or listening to podcasts because I get new insights and inspiration. This is typically a very quick way for me to get out of any rut that I am feeling. #8: Are you asking for and accepting help? As someone who does not know how to ask for help even when I need it, this is one that I struggle with. It seems like an easy thing to do; if you need assistance, you should accept. However, we need to be intentional about noticing when we need additional support. #9: Are you focusing on what is going well? Celebrating your progress over the past month will give you some perspective. Even if you do not really feel like it, you have made progress. It is very easy to focus on the negative and feel exhausted. Taking a moment to reflect on the goodwill help shift your perspective. #10: Are you being kind to yourself? Especially when things feel like they are not going as planned, we can be very hard on ourselves. It is important to give yourself some grace. Stop beating yourself up for what has not worked and focused on what you can do in the upcoming weeks. Final Thoughts I knew I had to write this post to process what I felt. In the past week, I reacted to a situation in a way that was not typical, and my body has been indicating that everything is not ok. It is time for me to do things differently to avoid burnout. The year will continue going this way if we don't make changes. The good news is that we have the opportunity to make changes now. Time to Reflect
Call to Action Let us start a two-week challenge to turn things around: choose one change you want to make in February to show yourself some love and avoid burnout.  Having great mentors can be a life-changing experience. When you talk to some people, they can readily name their mentors and share how they have supported them on their journeys. A few years ago, I did not have mentors and did not know their value. Once I found my first mentor, I wanted to scream from a hilltop about how mentorship has helped me on my journey. Years later, I have multiple mentors, and I am thankful that I do.
In this blog post, we will explore how to get the most value from your mentors on your personal and professional development journey. Starting point: What does mentorship mean?
How to leverage your mentors #1: Gain different perspectives It helps to have someone who can help you see things a little differently in some life situations. Hearing how someone else views a particular situation you are in; can highlight something you might not have considered. You can see their perspective as a gift to you to help you increase your chances of succeeding. Strategies to consider
#2: Get Inspired and energized When you think about the perfect mentors, think about people who inspire you to do more and take on new challenges. There is something powerful about having role models to whom you can look up. Seeing them accomplish remarkable things will serve as a source of motivation. Strategies to consider
#3: Get feedback on your plans Especially when you are planning a significant move in your life or career, it is especially important to have people with whom you can discuss your plans. They should be people with who you are comfortable sharing your ideas with and whose feedback you trust. Strategies to consider
#4: Get support and encouragement With all the magnificent work you are doing, it helps to get some positive reinforcement from your mentors. Knowing that you have people who are on your side and cheering you on feels incredibly good. You do not have to go on your journey alone. Let your mentors be there for you. Strategies to consider
#5: Offer them something in return The best relationships are the ones where all parties benefit from being in them. This is the same for mentorship relationships. It is important for you to not only receive support or advice from your mentors but also give them something of value. It could be in the form of providing them with your perspective, singing their praises, or helping them accomplish their own goals. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Mentorship Journey Having mentors in my personal and professional life has taught me a lot. They have supported me as I navigated some tough times in my life and have also been there to celebrate my successes. I have learned that we may need new mentors in different life phases and that mentors might look quite different than you expected. Call to action
Great Resources How to Find a Mentor Who Can Accelerate Your Career 10 Tips for Finding a Mentor—and Making the Relationship Count The Right Mentor Can Change Your Career. Here's How to Find One What’s the Right Way to Find a Mentor? What Exactly Is the Mentor's Role? What Is the Mentee’s?  On our recent family vacation, I noticed I was being very hard on myself and needed to remember to give myself some grace. It is easy to constantly dwell on what you could have done better and forget to enjoy the moment. In our lives as individuals, mothers, partners, caregivers, or professionals, there will be times when you will have to choose to love yourself and not be overly hard on yourself.
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to practice self-love every day. #1: Accept that good is good enough While striving to do our best is a good thing, it can very easily become a burden. Wanting to be perfect in everything you do puts you under so much pressure and is not sustainable. You want to get to a place where you feel ok with delivering good outputs. Especially if you are playing multiple roles, you need to know when to accept that you have completed a particular task and be ok with it. Sometimes striving to get things done well and not perfect is what we need to do to enjoy our lives. Questions to consider
#2: Track your accomplishments and celebrate your successes When you get into the habit of celebrating your wins, it helps remind you of how far you have come and the progress you are making. Often, we forget to celebrate the completion of a task or project and keep moving to the next thing without taking a moment to enjoy it. Celebrating what you have accomplished is a great way to remind yourself of how amazing you are. Questions to consider
#3: Track your learnings There will be situations that will go differently than you planned. Although you might not be satisfied with the outcome, the best way to deal with them is to take away the lessons you learned and keep moving. We tend to dwell on the failures and regrets we have. It would be better to learn from them and strive not to make the same mistakes again in the future. Questions to consider
#4: Continue discovering who you are We are growing and evolving with every life experience and phase. Spending time getting to know yourself is essential. You will discover things that you did not know about yourself that are awesome. Knowing your strengths and things that make you unique will help you appreciate yourself even more. Questions to consider
#5: Take care of yourself We focus more on caring for others and ensuring their needs are met while neglecting our own needs. It is time to start taking care of yourself and spoiling yourself. If I asked you when last you did something nice for yourself, it might take you a while to remember. We deserve to be a priority on our lists. Make time to practice self-care, take a break and get some rest as often as you can. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts You are doing an excellent job even when you do not see it. We are often our worst critics and sometimes set unattainable goals for ourselves. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your awesomeness. Time for Reflection How have you been hard on yourself? What is one nice thing that you need to tell yourself more? What is one way you want to practice self-love this week?  Talking about our accomplishments and successes can feel a little daunting. However, it is very crucial that we get more comfortable doing it. In our private or professional lives, there are situations where we choose to either showcase our unique contributions or let them go unnoticed. If I asked you if you have ever been in a situation where you wished you spoke up and shared your accomplishments, your answer would probably be yes.
In this blog post, we will discuss how to get more comfortable talking about your accomplishments. Check out my other "Her Growth" posts for tips and resources to support your personal growth. #1: Take stock of your accomplishments Firstly, you need to believe that you have accomplished great things. Irrespective of how big or small you might think your successes are, they matter and should be celebrated. I learned to keep an accomplishment log where I write down my successes, and positive feedback people gave me. When you know what your accomplishments are, it is much easier to talk about them. Strategies to consider
#2: Find a way to share your accomplishment that feels authentic to you When I talk to people who are not very comfortable with talking about their accomplishments, they often share that it feels uncomfortable or unnatural to them. Their reasons include not wanting to sound proud, not knowing the right words to use and not feeling it fits their personalities. We know that it is important for our growth, so we should invest time in exploring different ways to find what works best for us. Strategies to consider
#3: Practice talking about it Especially for things that we do not feel very comfortable doing, practicing makes it easier. Now that you have taken stock of your accomplishments and found a way to share them that feels good to you, it is time to share them with someone. Prepare to have the conversation and rehearse if you need to. Find someone who you know will celebrate with you and share your accomplishments with them. It might feel scary at first, but it will get better the more you do it. Also, seeing people's reactions to your great successes will motivate you to keep sharing. Strategies to consider
#4: Find and take opportunities to share your accomplishments Getting into the habit of sharing your accomplishments will make it feel more natural. There might be established processes like yearly performance reviews where you get to talk about the great work you have done at work. Make sure you are taking advantage of them. You may also have to create opportunities to showcase your successes if none exist. Use your resume, profile, or other platforms to share highlights. In your private life, leverage the conversations you have to share your accomplishments with people. Strategies to consider
#5: Continue tracking and celebrating your accomplishments As you continue to grow and do great things, document them. It is very easy to forget what you have accomplished if you do not keep track of them. Along with making sure you remember your successes, you also want to celebrate them. We do not spend enough time celebrating how far we have come and often wait for people to celebrate us. Your successes are a big deal and need to be treated as such. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Over the last years, I have learned that it is my responsibility to celebrate my accomplishments and journey. This is something that I constantly remind myself of. I look forward to hearing about your amazing successes. Great Resources How to start celebrating your accomplishments Celebrate your professional achievements How to master the art of self-promotion Call to Action What have you accomplished over the last year? How are you going to practice talking about your accomplishments? How will you celebrate your next major accomplishment?  Over this past week, I have been reflecting on how self-doubt can have a severe hold on your life. Being confident in myself and my abilities has allowed me to explore new things and thrive. Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous journey and not one and done.
In this blog post, I will be sharing five things that self-doubt stopped me from doing and tools that help me overcome self-doubt. #1: Believing in myself and feeling that I deserve to be where I am For the longest time, I underestimated my talent and abilities. Especially when I faced difficulties and failed, I did not think I had what it took to be successful. When I look back on my journey and what I have experienced, I know that I have what I need to succeed and thrive. Resources Tools that I apply
#2: Not talking about my accomplishments Growing up, I was taught that it was a bad personality trait if you like to talk about what you have accomplished. It took me many years to learn the importance of promoting myself. Especially on my professional journey, I had to start being vocal about what I have accomplished to gain respect and recognition. I now value all my accomplishments and do not take them for granted. Resources Tools that I apply
#3: Asking for a promotion or what I want at work One of the lessons that I learned that has helped my career grow exponentially is that you have to be in the driver’s seat and plan your career. Now I know that if I want to do great things at work, I need to ask for it and put myself in the right place. Resources Tools that I apply
#4: Sharing my story This goes hand in hand with not believing in myself, I did not think my story needed to be told. I could not think about the value of sharing my story with people. It took me hearing people's reactions when I shared a little of my story to believe that my experiences are a gift that could help others. Resources Tools that I apply
#5: Dreaming big and living out my passion Especially since I did not grow up around people who were doing big and bold things, I kept my dreams mostly small. There have been many passion projects that I allowed remain a dream and never lived out. I sat on the dream of creating my blog for almost seven years. I did not think that my contribution would be valuable. Once I started living out my passions, my life was transformed. Resources Tools that I apply
Final Thoughts If you have been letting self-doubt stop you from achieving greatness, it is time for you to overcome it and start making bold moves. Great resources |
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