 May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a reminder for us to prioritize our Mental Health. I have been reflecting on my thoughts about mental health at this stage in my life and the lessons that I learned on my journey.
In this blog post, I will share five things that I know about mental health that would have saved me some painful experiences if I had learned them in my childhood. #1: Check-in on your mental health often Interestingly, it is very easy to go through life and forget to check in on how you are doing mentally. It took me a while to realize that I was not aware of the state of my mental health. Sadly, I got to a place where I was really struggling before I started making changes. Knowing that I have a lot going on in my life, I am now very intentional about making sure my mental health is good. When I start feeling the impact of neglecting myself, I take action to get back into alignment. What am I doing differently now?
#2: You need to unlearn a lot you learned about mental health We all learned what we know about mental health from society, family, and friends. Some of the lessons serve us well, and others do not. It is our responsibility to unlearn some of those lessons and learn ways to care for our mental health. One of the things that I had to let go of was that it was a sign of strength to hide your feelings. By observing the people and hearing conversations around me, I learned to suppress emotions that led to me feeling a lot of internal stress and negatively impacted my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
#3: Do not let the stigma around Mental health stop you from getting help There is still a lot of stigma around getting additional support when you need it. The way people talk about therapy and other mental health resources that can help your mental health can sometimes be discouraging. It is crucial to acknowledge when you need help and get the help you need. This is something that will help you live a great life and thrive. What am I doing differently now?
#4: You need a community of people who care about mental health Surrounding yourself with people who are aware and intentional about maintaining their mental health will make a huge difference. They help you see that you are not alone with whatever struggles you have, and we can all be there for each other through the good and bad days. Having honest conversations about how I'm doing mentally has really made a difference in my life. When I have check-ins with my support community, it helps remind me that things will always get better. What am I doing differently now?
#5: Show yourself some compassion and grace Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves, which makes things worse for our emotional well-being. In situations where I spent time judging myself for feeling a certain way, it did not help me at all. It was easier for me to understand other people struggling with their mental health and give them grace, but I struggled to do the same for myself. When I feel down, I need to stop judging myself for how I feel. Being kind to myself relieves my stress and improves my mental health. What am I doing differently now?
Final Thoughts Talking about our mental health needs to become a regular aspect of our lives. We share other physical health practices such as exercise or a healthy diet; imagine a world where people feel more comfortable sharing their mental health and getting help when needed. Call to Action How are you maintaining your mental health? Prioritize your mental health What have you learned about mental health that you want to unlearn? Unlearn things that do not serve you
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 This past weekend while I was trying to put my 19-month-old son to sleep unsuccessfully, I started thinking about how easy it was to get upset and be in a bad mood. I was looking down on him and decided to focus on the good things that were happening in my life. A lot is going on in our lives that can make us feel frustrated if we focus on them. If you feel the weight of life on your shoulders, you are not alone. One thing we can control is our mindset. Sometimes, we need to actively remind ourselves of the good that is happening in our lives.
In this blog post, we will ask ourselves ten questions that will help us adjust our perspective and focus on the positive things in our lives. #1: What was the last thing that made you smile? Think back on the happy feelings you feel when someone does something nice for you or has a great experience. As I write this post, I am smiling at the things in my life that have made me happy recently. One realization that I had is that with a child, many cute moments make us smile. #2: What was a recent compliment someone gave you? Although I believe that we should not base our happiness on what others say to us, I do value the external perspective that people can give you by recognizing a great thing that you have done. #3: How have the people in your life contributed positively to you? The people that we surround ourselves with play a vital role. I feel very blessed to have great people in my life who have added significant value. My family and friends are a crucial part of my journey, and they make me feel supported. The amazing people in my life are a gift in many ways. I am grateful that I have great people who are my life companions. #4: What was one recent accomplishment at work? We spend a lot of time working towards our professional goals. It is time to celebrate all we have accomplished at work this year. We often let our professional accomplishments go unnoticed. #5: What was the latest new memory you created? We live in a time where we get to capture moments in pictures, videos, or other digital ways. Look back on your recent pictures and re-live the beautiful moments you have had. #6: What was the last very delicious meal you ate? Food is one of the highlights of my life. It might just be me, but it makes me happy when I think of good things that I have gotten to eat. #7: What was the last fun activity that you did? Doing something you really enjoy is a great way to evoke happy feelings. Think about a great time you had recently. #8: What new thing have you learned lately? Growing and learning new skills are necessary to live the amazing lives we desire. I am always excited when I acquire a new skill or a life lesson. Adding knowledge to my toolkit helps me prepare for the future. #9: What was the last thing you did to celebrate yourself? It is very easy to remember to celebrate with others and forget about yourself. I have always admired people who made it a point to celebrate all of their milestones. It could be a birthday, promotion, anniversary, or other pivotal moments in your life. Think about how you felt when you celebrated yourself. #10: When was the last time you were your authentic self? Being our authentic selves makes us happy and feel fulfilled. Celebrate the moments when you were true to yourself. You are who you were destined to be. Final Thoughts - MC's Story Writing this blog post reminded me of the amazing things that have happened in my life this year. I am very grateful for all the "highlights" and great memories. My life is far from perfect. However, it is filled with many happy moments and memories. The next time that I am feeling down. I will come back to this post and ask myself these questions.  Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing mothers and caregivers!!! Being a mother has been one of the journeys in my life that have turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. Getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term was scary to me initially due to my prior health history. The interesting turns continued with having a baby during a global pandemic. Now I have a toddler who is discovering the world. I am very grateful for all my experiences.
In this blog post, I will share ten questions that I reflect on very often about motherhood. This is only the start of a great learning life-long journey. How has being a mother changed my identity? The concept of motherhood is beyond the point when the child joins the family. Over my pregnancy and the 18 months of my son's life, I have reflected on how motherhood has changed who I am. While the code of who I am and my values have not changed, and my perspective has shifted significantly. What does being a good mother mean? One thought that keeps me going is that I am the best mother for my son. We both get to define our relationship, learn from each other and grow. The image of a perfect mother does not exist because our journeys are different. I have seen that even my twin sister is s very different mother to her children. Can I be a good working mother? As far as I can remember, my mum worked and cared for my sister and me in my childhood. I have been fortunate to see working mothers who have successful careers and are excellent caregivers. This is the path that I have chosen for myself, and I am extremely fulfilled by being able to work on building a successful career and growing my family. How do I avoid the pressures of motherhood? For my mental health, I try not to put myself in a place where I feel I have to be like someone else. After I had my son, I stopped reading posts and articles from mothers who portrayed perfection. I struggled with breastfeeding my baby and felt judged by what I was reading. Shutting out those external stressors made my life much better. Everything you read, watch, or listen to is a snapshot of someone's life that they choose to share with you. What is one thing that keeps me going? My son is one of my biggest motivators. I want to give him all he needs to live a happy, kind, and fulfilled life. I have always been self-motivated and driven to do my best. However, now more than ever, I know why I am working hard at accomplishing my goals. What is my favorite part of being a mum? When I feel like the world stops and everything is perfect, my son smiles at me. In those moments, I am reminded that our son lives a great life and is happy. What more can I want beyond knowing that he is being who he was destined to be. Who are my "tribe" on this motherhood journey? Having a baby during a pandemic made our circle very small. We spent the first year of our son's life mostly indoors. My husband has been a strong partner on this parenthood journey. We both jumped right into caring for our family to the best of our abilities. I have learned a lot from my mum, sister, aunties, friends, and the great women in my life. What am I currently learning? I am learning to accept that my situation is unique and have given myself the grace to be flexible. I have to do some things in this phase of my life as a mother and career. Instead of seeking balance, I am accepting that some things might need to be prioritized higher than others at certain times. What do I need to unlearn? Many mothers will tell you about the guilt that plagues them because they think they are falling short of the standard of a good mother. I wonder who set the expectations of what motherhood should be like. There are a lot of variables that make all of our experiences different. Getting rid of the guilt is the only way for us to find happiness and be content. What do I want to do more of? The last 18 months have been an awesome journey, and I am excited about the future. I want to build many more happy memories with my family. Having fun is not something that comes easy to me, and I know that I need to be very intentional about enjoying life. I am committed to savoring every moment we spend together as a family. Final Thoughts I feel very fortunate to have a little human who I get to watch grow. Every day of motherhood is a gift. Some days are challenging, and we need to make difficult decisions. However, there is a lot of joy on this journey to becoming the mother I am meant to be.  In our lives, we experience many ups and downs. I have realized that it is very easy to stay motivated when things are going well. However, it is challenging to keep being motivated when unexpected things happen or when you feel stressed with everything going on in your life. To thrive and live our best lives, we need to develop strategies to maintain our motivation irrespective of what we are going through.
In this blog post, we will explore ways to motivate ourselves in all of life's circumstances. Recognize the power you have over your motivation A lot of us look outside for people or things that motivate us. Being dependent on extrinsic motivators makes you give up the power you have. I believe that you can motivate yourself and do not need to wait for other people. The ability to notice when I am demotivated, discover the root cause, and then take action to restore my motivation makes me feel empowered. Strategies to consider
Remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of this point. When you feel stuck and demotivated, you tend to focus on things that are not going well in your life. I have found that when I intentionally redirect my focus and think about positive things, it helps me feel motivated again. The exercise of reflecting on my accomplishments over a period of time helps shift my perspective. Writing them down helps me visualize and count my blessings. Strategies to consider
Strategize and create a plan One of the ways to renew your motivation is to mentally unblock yourself from your state of feeling stuck and demotivated. When you start planning for the future, your mind focuses on things that are to come, and you are filled with hope. It helps you look past whatever is not going well and helps you see your future clearer. Planning concrete action steps is a way to reclaim your power. Strategies to consider
Do something different When you make changes in your routine, it allows you to explore new things. You might be feeling demotivated because life has become predictable. It might be time to try new things and change something in your life. Strategies to consider
Find inspiration We all need to find things that keep us excited and hopeful. I was talking to someone recently who had just attended a conference, and she spoke about the impact that the experience had on her day. She shared that she felt a new sense of excitement and motivation. Being inspired will definitely increase your motivation. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Life is a lot more fun when we are motivated to do the things we need to accomplish our goals and live out our dreams. Let's do what we can to restore and maintain our motivation. Time to reflect
 To accomplish the bold goals we have planned, we need to guard our time and resources. One of the topics that I have been reflecting on recently is that I have been a little lax with the boundaries that I set, especially around my time. After completing my goals review for the first quarter of this year, I realized that I need to make some changes. At the start of the year, I had identified the need to limit my work hours. However, as the year progressed, I was still overworking. It is something I really want to change in the coming months. The insights gathered have led me to reevaluate the boundaries I need to set to accomplish my goals.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of setting boundaries and the areas where we need them. Why is it important to set boundaries There are multiple benefits of setting boundaries and guarding things we care about, including:
How can we set boundaries and thrive The first step to setting boundaries is thinking about different areas of your life where you want to make changes and evaluating what boundaries you would like to set. One of my guiding thoughts around boundaries is that I will do everything I can to free up my mind and resources to focus on things that will help me accomplish my goals. Set boundaries with your family and friends The people we love are more likely than others to overstep boundaries that we set. I am a strong believer that we need to tell people how we want to be treated in order to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries with family and friends is one of the most challenging things, as we typically want to avoid hurting their feelings. It is crucial to see setting boundaries as a commitment to take good care of yourself. Questions to consider
Set boundaries at work Especially since we spend so much time at work, it is essential to set boundaries there. The pandemic caused many lines between our work and lives to become very blurry. It takes a lot of intentional action to set the boundaries that we need to avoid overworking. Questions to consider
Set boundaries around your finances To accomplish your financial goals, you will need to be intentional and disciplined about how you spend your money. I had seen my finances grow the most when I focused on saving and making wise investments. It is essential to say no to spending my money on things that don't help me build wealth. Sometimes it involves me saying no to people, which is uncomfortable. I remind myself of what I am working on accomplishing in my finances in those situations. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts It is very easy to let go of your boundaries. However, the effect on our well-being and growth is very significant. Setting and maintaining your boundaries is an excellent commitment to yourself. Time to Reflect
 One of the greatest tools to help us accomplish our goals is learning. We need to learn and develop new skills to achieve our bold goals. As I have progressed in my Life and Career, learning has contributed to my success. I am a strong believer in continuous learning and have enjoyed adding knowledge and new skills to my toolkit.
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to make learning a part of your life. For more tips and resources, check out some of my previous posts on learning at the end of this post. Set learning goals every year We need to be very intentional about learning and building new skills. It takes planning and scheduling time actually to make it happen. When I plan my goals every year, I identify three new things that I want to learn and work towards them. My learning goals are typically geared towards developing skills that I do not have but know that I need to succeed professionally and personally. The process of planning what I want to learn excites and empowers me. Questions to consider
Find learning formats that work for you We all learn in different ways, and it is crucial to know how you learn best and go for them. I really enjoy learning from other people's experiences, taking formal trainings, and I also learn through teaching others. When I set my learning goals, I plan for trainings, podcasts, or books that will help me. Questions to consider
Find your learning community Having accountability partners is crucial to maintaining your learning mindset and accomplishing your learning. Knowing that you have people around you who support and encourage you to stick to your learning goals increases your chances of achieving them. I feel fortunate to have a community of people who enjoy learning and work towards their own goals. They provide me with motivation and support while I continue my learning journey. Questions to consider
Share what you learned In my experience, one way to amplify your learning is to share what you learned with others. Whenever I learn something new, I make it a point to write a quick summary and share it with people around me. Professionally, I get to share my knowledge with my team and mentees. In my private life, this blog is an amazing medium for me to share my learnings as well. It is great to be able to deepen my learning by sharing with others. Questions to consider
Continue learning To thrive and accomplish all our goals, we have a lot of learning to do. It is crucial for us always to be learning something new. Unlike when we were studying for degrees, we get to choose what we learn, when, and how. There are so many great resources available to support us on our learning journey. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts This year my professional learning goals are to develop my skills around leading teams and impact programs at scale, driving sustainable organizational culture change. And in my personal life, I want to learn about storytelling and writing a book. I am very excited to learn awesome things this year and continue growing. Call to Action
Great Resources  When people ask us what we want to improve ourselves, a long list of things comes to mind quickly. On the other hand, when we are asked what we love about ourselves, we need to dig deeper to discover what we like about ourselves. I have been on a journey of self-acceptance over the past few years. My strengths and flaws make me the unique person that I am. Accepting them has helped me feel whole and happier. I started seeing myself as a complete person with multiple facets.
In this blog post, we will explore how self-acceptance changes our outlook on life. This post continues our February series on loving ourselves. Starting point: What does self-acceptance mean?
The benefits of accepting ourselves Many great things happen once we start the journey of self-acceptance. #1: We are more confident Knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses changes how you see yourself. You exude a high level of confidence in who you are. Although you know you are not perfect, you are perfectly fine with it. #2: We know that failure or weaknesses do not define us With our flaws, it is crucial to know that they are one aspect of who we are but not the entirety of our identity. We spend so much time focusing on our flaws and allowing them to overshadow our good traits. You are a whole person that has a lot of good to offer. #3: We accept others more One of the biggest challenges we face in relationships is wishing people to change and become more like a mental image of them. After we accept ourselves, it is very easy to accept others for who they are. We don't expect perfection from others and appreciate their whole beings. #4: We are kind to ourselves When we stop wishing we were someone else and accept who we are, we show ourselves more compassion. Our self-talk changes from constant critique to being more understanding and kind to ourselves. We focus more on our strengths and are not as hard on ourselves. #5: We live to our full potential Believing that you are who you were meant to give your newfound energy. You go through life with a sense of positivity and hope. This change in perspective will fuel your life and help you accomplish more. Final Thoughts - MC's Journey A few years ago, I realized that self-acceptance is a gift that only I can give myself. I had gone through most of my life desiring traits that I saw in others. The constant thought of needing to get rid of my flaws to live a good life consumed my mind. It felt like I would never be the "perfect" person that I desired to be. One of the turning points was when I started spending more time getting to know my strengths. I felt energized by focusing on my strengths and celebrated who I was more. My perspective changed from thinking that my flaws defined me to embrace every aspect of my being. Time for Reflection What aspect of yourself do you want to accept? How will you remind yourself to accept who you are daily? How will you celebrate who you are?  This month we are focusing on showing ourselves some love. One of the ways we can celebrate our awesomeness is by leveraging our strengths. It is very easy to talk about what we do not do well. However, focusing on our strengths requires being more intentional. In this blog post, we will explore ways to live in our strengths and be our best selves. Do you know your strengths? One of the things that changed my life was learning more about my strengths. I did not really know what I was good at for the longest time. Many things that people said to me growing up focused on what I could be doing better. I hardly heard, "oh, this is what you are very good at ."It took me actually going on a self-discovery journey to find out what my strengths were. The strengths finder self-assessment was one of the tools that gave me words to describe my strengths. I can now confidently answer the question when I am asked what I'm good at. Another helpful tool to discover my strengths has been feedback that people give me. I struggled with accepting positive feedback as fact. It has helped me see the strengths others see in me. Strategies to consider
Are you using your strengths? Knowing your strengths is great; however, you need to use your strengths. We all have many strengths that we don't think about or rarely use. I see our strengths as gifts that we were given to enrich ourselves, families, community, workplace, and lives of people we come in contact with. Using our strengths will help us feel more fulfilled. I seek opportunities to leverage my strengths in the jobs I do or how I spend my personal time. Strategies to consider
How are you building your strengths? We focus a lot on improving things we are not good at. There is always an opportunity for us to keep getting better at things that we do well. Interesting one of my strengths is that I am a learner. I invest time and explore new ways of learning every year. The better I get at learning, the more fulfilled I feel in my life. I have seen the benefits flow into other areas of my life, like my work. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Over the past six years, I have been on the journey of discovering and leveraging my strengths. It has really changed my outlook on life and how I think about myself. Call to Action Over the next two weeks, find two hours to reflect on the following:
Great Resources  In recent conversations with people around me, I have been hearing the sentiment that the year so far has been exhausting. Typically, when the new year starts, we are all excited and look forward to the wonderful things coming. I was wondering how January felt so long and incredibly busy. Feeling this tired at the beginning of the year was not the plan. It is time for a small reset to make sure we take care of ourselves and live the lives we want.
In this blog post, we will check in ourselves with the help of 10 questions and assess the changes that we need to make to take care of ourselves. In February, we will be focusing on loving ourselves. #1: Have you made time for yourself? It has been a hectic year so far, and it feels like we are running behind everything we want to do. In the last five weeks, I have not spent a lot of time with myself. I feel like I have been pouring myself into work caring for my family and have forgotten what I need. Self-care was something I planned to prioritize this year. However, I have not made the time yet. #2: Are you getting some rest? Sleep is often the first thing we cut when we get busy. Reflecting on the past weeks, I know that I did not get as much sleep as I needed because I was trying to meet self-imposed deadlines. One of the routines that I planned for this year was going to bed on time, but I have not followed through. #3: Are you connecting with great people? Human connection is a source of energy for a lot of us. I really miss spending quality time with people that I like. We are all rushing through life and have forgotten to check-in and have deep conversations with our people. #4: Have you worked towards your goals? You can be very busy but not making progress towards your goals. This is extremely easy when you are overworked or spending more time meeting other people's needs. Do not be discouraged; there are many more weeks for you to work towards your goals. #5: Are you acknowledging how you're feeling? Being honest about how you are feeling is not always easy. Sometimes, it is easier not to think about your feelings because it's hard to process. Admitting to being overwhelmed and exhausted was hard to do. Most of us are taught to suppress our feelings and act like everything is ok. #6: Have you set and communicated your boundaries? Saying yes to things we do not want to do or neglecting to guard our time is one of the causes of overwhelm. If we did some soul searching, we will realize moments when we have said yes when we should have said no. Setting your boundaries is very important to maintain your mental wellbeing. #7: Are you being inspired? Sometimes refreshing your mind helps you feel better when things are going differently than your plan. I really enjoy reading books or listening to podcasts because I get new insights and inspiration. This is typically a very quick way for me to get out of any rut that I am feeling. #8: Are you asking for and accepting help? As someone who does not know how to ask for help even when I need it, this is one that I struggle with. It seems like an easy thing to do; if you need assistance, you should accept. However, we need to be intentional about noticing when we need additional support. #9: Are you focusing on what is going well? Celebrating your progress over the past month will give you some perspective. Even if you do not really feel like it, you have made progress. It is very easy to focus on the negative and feel exhausted. Taking a moment to reflect on the goodwill help shift your perspective. #10: Are you being kind to yourself? Especially when things feel like they are not going as planned, we can be very hard on ourselves. It is important to give yourself some grace. Stop beating yourself up for what has not worked and focused on what you can do in the upcoming weeks. Final Thoughts I knew I had to write this post to process what I felt. In the past week, I reacted to a situation in a way that was not typical, and my body has been indicating that everything is not ok. It is time for me to do things differently to avoid burnout. The year will continue going this way if we don't make changes. The good news is that we have the opportunity to make changes now. Time to Reflect
Call to Action Let us start a two-week challenge to turn things around: choose one change you want to make in February to show yourself some love and avoid burnout.  Having great mentors can be a life-changing experience. When you talk to some people, they can readily name their mentors and share how they have supported them on their journeys. A few years ago, I did not have mentors and did not know their value. Once I found my first mentor, I wanted to scream from a hilltop about how mentorship has helped me on my journey. Years later, I have multiple mentors, and I am thankful that I do.
In this blog post, we will explore how to get the most value from your mentors on your personal and professional development journey. Starting point: What does mentorship mean?
How to leverage your mentors #1: Gain different perspectives It helps to have someone who can help you see things a little differently in some life situations. Hearing how someone else views a particular situation you are in; can highlight something you might not have considered. You can see their perspective as a gift to you to help you increase your chances of succeeding. Strategies to consider
#2: Get Inspired and energized When you think about the perfect mentors, think about people who inspire you to do more and take on new challenges. There is something powerful about having role models to whom you can look up. Seeing them accomplish remarkable things will serve as a source of motivation. Strategies to consider
#3: Get feedback on your plans Especially when you are planning a significant move in your life or career, it is especially important to have people with whom you can discuss your plans. They should be people with who you are comfortable sharing your ideas with and whose feedback you trust. Strategies to consider
#4: Get support and encouragement With all the magnificent work you are doing, it helps to get some positive reinforcement from your mentors. Knowing that you have people who are on your side and cheering you on feels incredibly good. You do not have to go on your journey alone. Let your mentors be there for you. Strategies to consider
#5: Offer them something in return The best relationships are the ones where all parties benefit from being in them. This is the same for mentorship relationships. It is important for you to not only receive support or advice from your mentors but also give them something of value. It could be in the form of providing them with your perspective, singing their praises, or helping them accomplish their own goals. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Mentorship Journey Having mentors in my personal and professional life has taught me a lot. They have supported me as I navigated some tough times in my life and have also been there to celebrate my successes. I have learned that we may need new mentors in different life phases and that mentors might look quite different than you expected. Call to action
Great Resources How to Find a Mentor Who Can Accelerate Your Career 10 Tips for Finding a Mentor—and Making the Relationship Count The Right Mentor Can Change Your Career. Here's How to Find One What’s the Right Way to Find a Mentor? What Exactly Is the Mentor's Role? What Is the Mentee’s?  On our recent family vacation, I noticed I was being very hard on myself and needed to remember to give myself some grace. It is easy to constantly dwell on what you could have done better and forget to enjoy the moment. In our lives as individuals, mothers, partners, caregivers, or professionals, there will be times when you will have to choose to love yourself and not be overly hard on yourself.
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to practice self-love every day. #1: Accept that good is good enough While striving to do our best is a good thing, it can very easily become a burden. Wanting to be perfect in everything you do puts you under so much pressure and is not sustainable. You want to get to a place where you feel ok with delivering good outputs. Especially if you are playing multiple roles, you need to know when to accept that you have completed a particular task and be ok with it. Sometimes striving to get things done well and not perfect is what we need to do to enjoy our lives. Questions to consider
#2: Track your accomplishments and celebrate your successes When you get into the habit of celebrating your wins, it helps remind you of how far you have come and the progress you are making. Often, we forget to celebrate the completion of a task or project and keep moving to the next thing without taking a moment to enjoy it. Celebrating what you have accomplished is a great way to remind yourself of how amazing you are. Questions to consider
#3: Track your learnings There will be situations that will go differently than you planned. Although you might not be satisfied with the outcome, the best way to deal with them is to take away the lessons you learned and keep moving. We tend to dwell on the failures and regrets we have. It would be better to learn from them and strive not to make the same mistakes again in the future. Questions to consider
#4: Continue discovering who you are We are growing and evolving with every life experience and phase. Spending time getting to know yourself is essential. You will discover things that you did not know about yourself that are awesome. Knowing your strengths and things that make you unique will help you appreciate yourself even more. Questions to consider
#5: Take care of yourself We focus more on caring for others and ensuring their needs are met while neglecting our own needs. It is time to start taking care of yourself and spoiling yourself. If I asked you when last you did something nice for yourself, it might take you a while to remember. We deserve to be a priority on our lists. Make time to practice self-care, take a break and get some rest as often as you can. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts You are doing an excellent job even when you do not see it. We are often our worst critics and sometimes set unattainable goals for ourselves. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your awesomeness. Time for Reflection How have you been hard on yourself? What is one nice thing that you need to tell yourself more? What is one way you want to practice self-love this week?  Talking about our accomplishments and successes can feel a little daunting. However, it is very crucial that we get more comfortable doing it. In our private or professional lives, there are situations where we choose to either showcase our unique contributions or let them go unnoticed. If I asked you if you have ever been in a situation where you wished you spoke up and shared your accomplishments, your answer would probably be yes.
In this blog post, we will discuss how to get more comfortable talking about your accomplishments. Check out my other "Her Growth" posts for tips and resources to support your personal growth. #1: Take stock of your accomplishments Firstly, you need to believe that you have accomplished great things. Irrespective of how big or small you might think your successes are, they matter and should be celebrated. I learned to keep an accomplishment log where I write down my successes, and positive feedback people gave me. When you know what your accomplishments are, it is much easier to talk about them. Strategies to consider
#2: Find a way to share your accomplishment that feels authentic to you When I talk to people who are not very comfortable with talking about their accomplishments, they often share that it feels uncomfortable or unnatural to them. Their reasons include not wanting to sound proud, not knowing the right words to use and not feeling it fits their personalities. We know that it is important for our growth, so we should invest time in exploring different ways to find what works best for us. Strategies to consider
#3: Practice talking about it Especially for things that we do not feel very comfortable doing, practicing makes it easier. Now that you have taken stock of your accomplishments and found a way to share them that feels good to you, it is time to share them with someone. Prepare to have the conversation and rehearse if you need to. Find someone who you know will celebrate with you and share your accomplishments with them. It might feel scary at first, but it will get better the more you do it. Also, seeing people's reactions to your great successes will motivate you to keep sharing. Strategies to consider
#4: Find and take opportunities to share your accomplishments Getting into the habit of sharing your accomplishments will make it feel more natural. There might be established processes like yearly performance reviews where you get to talk about the great work you have done at work. Make sure you are taking advantage of them. You may also have to create opportunities to showcase your successes if none exist. Use your resume, profile, or other platforms to share highlights. In your private life, leverage the conversations you have to share your accomplishments with people. Strategies to consider
#5: Continue tracking and celebrating your accomplishments As you continue to grow and do great things, document them. It is very easy to forget what you have accomplished if you do not keep track of them. Along with making sure you remember your successes, you also want to celebrate them. We do not spend enough time celebrating how far we have come and often wait for people to celebrate us. Your successes are a big deal and need to be treated as such. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Over the last years, I have learned that it is my responsibility to celebrate my accomplishments and journey. This is something that I constantly remind myself of. I look forward to hearing about your amazing successes. Great Resources How to start celebrating your accomplishments Celebrate your professional achievements How to master the art of self-promotion Call to Action What have you accomplished over the last year? How are you going to practice talking about your accomplishments? How will you celebrate your next major accomplishment?  Over this past week, I have been reflecting on how self-doubt can have a severe hold on your life. Being confident in myself and my abilities has allowed me to explore new things and thrive. Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous journey and not one and done.
In this blog post, I will be sharing five things that self-doubt stopped me from doing and tools that help me overcome self-doubt. #1: Believing in myself and feeling that I deserve to be where I am For the longest time, I underestimated my talent and abilities. Especially when I faced difficulties and failed, I did not think I had what it took to be successful. When I look back on my journey and what I have experienced, I know that I have what I need to succeed and thrive. Resources Tools that I apply
#2: Not talking about my accomplishments Growing up, I was taught that it was a bad personality trait if you like to talk about what you have accomplished. It took me many years to learn the importance of promoting myself. Especially on my professional journey, I had to start being vocal about what I have accomplished to gain respect and recognition. I now value all my accomplishments and do not take them for granted. Resources Tools that I apply
#3: Asking for a promotion or what I want at work One of the lessons that I learned that has helped my career grow exponentially is that you have to be in the driver’s seat and plan your career. Now I know that if I want to do great things at work, I need to ask for it and put myself in the right place. Resources Tools that I apply
#4: Sharing my story This goes hand in hand with not believing in myself, I did not think my story needed to be told. I could not think about the value of sharing my story with people. It took me hearing people's reactions when I shared a little of my story to believe that my experiences are a gift that could help others. Resources Tools that I apply
#5: Dreaming big and living out my passion Especially since I did not grow up around people who were doing big and bold things, I kept my dreams mostly small. There have been many passion projects that I allowed remain a dream and never lived out. I sat on the dream of creating my blog for almost seven years. I did not think that my contribution would be valuable. Once I started living out my passions, my life was transformed. Resources Tools that I apply
Final Thoughts If you have been letting self-doubt stop you from achieving greatness, it is time for you to overcome it and start making bold moves. Great resources  Over the past weeks, I have been working very hard at work and have not had time to do many of other things. This week, I finally have some time off to catch up on life. One of the things I want to do is check in with myself and make sure that I am doing well. I know there are areas in my life where I am not doing well, and I am looking forward to working on those things.
In this blog post, we will check in on how we are doing in all aspects of our lives. Physical and emotional wellbeing When your mind and body are well, you feel like you can take on the world and do great things. It is crucial to focus on taking care of your whole self. If you feel like you have been neglecting yourself, this is the perfect time to practice some self-care and make it a routine. Questions to consider
Call to Action
Tips/Resources Financial Health The state of your finances is something that can impact you in a good or bad way. In my life, I know that when my finances are in order, and I am meeting my financial goals, I feel good overall. I strongly believe that taking control of our finances should be a priority. Questions to consider
Call to Action
Tips/Resources Career and professional growth Given the amount of time that we spend at work, it makes it much more fun when we are progressing and accomplishing our professional goals. We all work for different reasons and knowing what your reason is will help you. Questions to consider
Call to Action
Tips/Resources Healthy relationships Your relationships with your family, friends, and people you care about are a crucial part of your overall wellbeing. Reviewing the health of your relationships often is great practice. That will help ensure that you are connecting with the people around you. Questions to consider
Call to Action
Tips/Resources Living out your Passions With everything that you are doing in life, you might be neglecting your passions. This has been one area that I have been working on. I know that working on my passion projects is something that I need to do to be happy. Questions to consider
Call to Action
Tips/Resources Final Thoughts One thought that has changed the way I think about how I take care of myself is - "If I don't take good care of myself, who will?". We are responsible for taking care of ourselves.  If you feel overwhelmed and have lost parts of yourself, you are not alone. This year has been very intense. Growing up, I was taught to work hard, and self-care was not a topic often. Over the past months, I have learned that the only way I can be my best self is to take care of myself.
In this blog post, we will explore how to we can take care of ourselves. I am committing to doing these five things in July. Check-in with yourself With everything that we have to manage, it is easy to lose touch with ourselves. The most important part of you taking care of yourself is knowing how you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically. Often, we do not really know how we are doing because we do not take the time to ask ourselves. Question to reflect on
Ask for help The fact that you need help is not bad and does not mean you are lazy or incapable. It means that you are acknowledging that you have your hands full. Permitting yourself to ask for help and accepting it is a great way to take care of yourself. Question to reflect on
Do something for yourself We do a lot of things for other people around us and neglect ourselves. You are worth spending time on. It is time to prioritize yourself and do some self-care. I finally got a professional pedicure in over 18 months this weekend. It was a very small thing, but it made me feel much better. The sum of the small things that you do for yourself will make you feel better. Question to reflect on
Reconnect with people you like Having a deep connection with people is a crucial part of our lives. Plan to give them a call, grab some coffee, or a meal. When you connect with them, it is important to have deep conversations and check in with each other. Question to reflect on
Celebrate how far you have come There is so much power in celebrating the good that is happening in your life. Celebrating your milestones and accomplishments is crucial. Take a moment to remind yourself that you are doing amazing. The small and big wins are worth celebrating. Question to reflect on
Final Thoughts Committing to taking care of yourself is crucial. It needs to be something that you are intentional about and make an effort to do regularly. There is only one you, and no one can take better care of you than you can! Time for Reflection Why have you not been taking care of yourself? How do you take care of yourself? How are you going to continue taking care of yourself?  Taking care of your mental health is extremely crucial. We are all dealing with a lot as we work towards accomplishing our goals and living in the world today. There are so many things that impact our mental health. I strongly believe that we have to be intentional and actively maintain our mental health. Your happiness, health, and overall well-being are strongly dependent on how your mind is doing.
In this blog post, I will share the five things I am doing to prioritize my mental health. These are things that I strive to do daily for my well-being. #1: Sharing when I am struggling For some reason, I thought telling people I was having a bad day or struggling with something was a sign of weakness. It has a lot to with my upbringing, where we always had to say we were doing well and show strength. I ended up bottling in all my worries and not sharing them with anyone, not even the people closest to me. Unlearning this took me a long time. I still catch myself wanting to say I am doing fine when I am not. We need to start speaking honestly about our mental health. Questions to consider
#2: Shutting out the news and negative things Last year, I was obsessing over the news because I was following the political events in the US. I found myself watching a lot of news. I noticed that what I saw on the news was having a bigger impact on my mental health than I thought. After I went back to work, I realized that I could no longer dedicate brain space to all the bad news. I decided to reduce the amount of news that I read or listen to daily. Guarding my mind has had a positive effect on my overall well-being. Questions to consider
#3: Limiting my circle to have only people who uplift me The people you surround yourself with will influence your happiness and mental health. One thing that I have learned about myself is that I get impacted by the things that others around me are going through. On my quest for mental well-being, I have decided to keep my circle of friends very small. I make sure that people around me influence me positively, that I have a positive impact on their lives, and that we are there for one another through all life experiences. Questions to consider
#4: Saying "No" and setting boundaries Over the past years, I have realized that it is essential for me to set boundaries. The more I have grown, I know that my time and resources are limited. Considering that, I have to say no to things that I do not want to do and things that don't add value to my life. Letting people in my life and at work know what my boundaries are, has improved the quality of my life a lot. If I am spending my time doing something, it is because I want to do it. Questions to consider
#5: Reduce the pressure that I'm putting on myself One thing that impacts my mental health negatively is feeling overwhelmed. After searching for the most frequent cause, I realized that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. I found myself striving for perfection in all areas of my life, which is impossible. Evaluating and resetting the standards that I hold myself to have been a game-changer for me. Sometimes I have to accept that getting something done is good enough, even if it is not perfect. I am also learning that it is ok to rest even when my to-do list is long. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts May is Mental Health Awareness Month in the US. It serves as a good reminder for us to prioritize our mental health. We need to take care of our mental health every single day to do all the amazing things we want to do in life. Time for Reflection
 This year, Mother's Day is incredibly special to me. I am celebrating my motherhood journey as a first-time mom. Life with my son has been one of the most amazing and life-changing journeys in my life. To celebrate this milestone, I will be reflecting on my experiences so far.
In this blog post, I will share the things that have changed over the past almost seven months since I had my baby. First things first - Having a baby during a pandemic Interestingly, I found out I was about six weeks pregnant in early March 2020 when the world was starting to see the impact of the pandemic. Working from home, our state being shut down, and being pregnant at the same time was surreal to me. I wondered how different my experience would have been at any other time. I never expected that my whole pregnancy and birth would happen while a pandemic took a toll on the world and changed our lives forever. How have I changed since I became a mom? The transformation that parents go through when they have children is impressive. Some new things happened, and other things became more heightened. My focus has increased One of my strengths is being focused. However, I have gone through the transformation that I have an additional motivator to be focused on. I am extremely intentional about how I spend my time and invest my energy. Especially since I am working full-time and caring for my baby, my time is very precious. My priority is to make sure my son is well taken care of while I build my career. I prepare for everything Being prepared for even the mundane things is now part of my life. I have my list and calendar appointments for everything. There is so much that I need to take care of these days. Being organized has been very pivotal to my success. I even have a list of the updates and questions for my son's pediatrician. I have become more emotionally sensitive People who know me personally know that I am a very emotional person. It does not take much to see me cry or be happy and sometimes have both feelings simultaneously. These days, I find some news stories that I do not want to watch because they affect me differently. I am generally much more sensitive. My sense of hearing is heightened Before I had a baby, it was not like I did not hear any noises. However, now I hear everything. I hear my baby make sounds in the other room. I hear every dog barking or things happening outside. I am sure my husband is tired of me asking, "did you hear that?". My ability to love unconditionally has multiplied I look at this little baby and wonder how I can love someone so much. Even at the end of a remarkably busy day for both of us, I thank God for the amazing gift of motherhood. I'm blessed that I get to love my son and teach him how to love others. Final Thoughts My motherhood journey has been this amazing because of my wonderful husband and my sister. They have been my constant companions. Seeing my husband being the best father to our son makes me extremely happy. Words cannot describe how blessed I feel to be able to share motherhood stories with my sister. Thank you, MS and DC, for making motherhood an amazing journey and raising our amazing boy. To all the amazing mothers and caregivers, Happy Mother’s Day to you. May you get to experience more joy as you pour into other people's lives.  Especially as we have been socially isolated over the last year, most of us are yearning for deeper human connections. The relationships we have with people in our lives matter now more than ever. Unfortunately, sometimes we do not reap all the benefits from our community because we keep our conversations and interactions superficial. A few years ago, my sister and I decided to have conversations that matter with each other and the people around us. It has been a rewarding change in our lives.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of and how to start having meaningful conversations. What are meaningful conversations?
What are the benefits of having meaningful conversations?
How to start having more meaningful conversations Sharing simple ways to approach having meaningful conversations with the people in your life: #1: Aim to connect on a deeper level Your intention and mindset when you start a conversation set the tone for how it will go. The best conversations happen when you really want to connect with the people you are talking to. Questions to consider:
#2: Make the person feel good A great way to start a deeper connection is to make the person feel comfortable and seen. When I have deep conversations, I want the person to feel that they are enough, have achieved a lot and I care about them. Questions to consider:
#3: Listen attentively to what they need We all know the feeling you have when people really care about you. Give people the opportunity to share what they really need. Questions to consider:
#4: Offer your support We all have something we can offer one another. Thinking about the ways you can contribute to their lives helps you have deeper connections. Questions to consider:
#5: Stay connected The best part of having meaningful conversations is keeping them going. When you make deeper connections, you want to stay connected over time. Questions to consider:
The Deeper Connection Challenge We can all have meaningful conversations over the next weeks. Inspired by #Big Talk, I came up with ten questions we can start asking to help us have meaningful conversations.
Final Thoughts The people in our lives will help us thrive and succeed. Now is a perfect time to make our connections matter. Time for Reflection Do you have conversations that matter? Why do you want to have conversations that matter? Who are you going to connect with over the next weeks? Great resources
 On March 8th, we celebrate International Women's Day. This year’s theme is #ChooseToChallenge: We can all choose to challenge and call out gender bias and inequality. We can all choose to seek out and celebrate women's achievements. And from challenge comes change. So let's all #ChooseToChallenge.
In this blog post, I will share the thoughts I have around Women's day this year with the help of five questions. What do gender bias and inequality mean? I like to start with defining terms to ensure that we understand what they mean. Gender Bias is defined as the unfair difference in the way women and men are treated, while Gender Inequity is defined as the social process by which men and women are not treated as equals. What do gender bias and inequality mean to me? Growing up In Nigeria, the culture propagates that there are significant differences between men and women. There is a mindset that women are weaker, and they are not given equal access to opportunities. It starts with limiting the belief in what girls can become when they grow up to being trained to think that the highest accomplishment for a woman is getting married and having children. There were so many examples of women that I knew who were not set up for success and fully dependent on the men in their lives. Fast forward to now, building my career as a woman in technology, bias and inequities exist in different ways. Ranging from the way people apply a gender lens when they view my contribution to not having access to the same networks and opportunities because of my gender. Another inequity that I experience is around compensation for the work that I do compared to my male peers. How do we challenge inequality and bias when we see it? Challenging inequity and bias is not the easiest thing to do. This International Women's Day theme is special because it reminds me that we need to choose to challenge and call out gender inequity and bias. Sometimes, I feel like I can challenge bias or inequity when it happens to others, more than when it is happening to me. Being an advocate and ally for others comes easily to me. I have learned that there is power in speaking out when we see something wrong. Furthermore, we can make a huge difference when we empower others to stand against the bias that they experience. How do we train our children to challenge inequality? As we continue to fight inequity, it is crucial that we pass on the knowledge to the next generation. Our sons and daughters need to be educated about inequity and the role they can plan to make the world more inclusive. I feel responsible for teaching my son, nieces, and nephews that they are equal and can achieve everything they want to do irrespective of their gender. I know that I can influence the next generation through the children that are in my family or the ones I meet. Thinking about the next generation and how we can change the world through them gives me hope. What concrete actions can we all take to create a more inclusive world? The great news is that we can all take action against gender bias and inequity. I came up with a list of three concrete things that we can all do. Firstly, we can increase the visibility of the biases we see every day. Secondly, we can uplift women and celebrate their accomplishments. Finally, we can collaborate with and support people who need a small boost to shine. Final Thoughts As we celebrate International Women's Day, let us celebrate our awesomeness and the amazing women in our lives. Take a moment to reflect on your strength as a woman. Happy Women's Day to all the women out there who are working to make the world a better place! Time for Reflection How are you going to challenge inequity and gender bias in your life? How will you uplift the women in your life? How will you celebrate yourself today?  You are unique, amazing and a great person. The more you know yourself, the easier it is to see how amazing you are. Especially at times when you need motivation, being able to remind yourself of your uniqueness helps give you a positive outlook.
In this blog post, we will explore different tools that can help you get to know yourself. Check out previous Her Toolkit posts to help you build your personal and professional development toolkit. Why is it important to get to know yourself?
What has been my experience with getting to know myself? Looking back on my journey, I realized that for the longest time I let other people define who I was. As I went through major transitions, I started to see that I did not really know myself. I did not know what I liked, my strengths or my worth. Spending time discovering myself has helped me find new and exciting things about myself. Getting to know myself and rediscovering myself is the greatest gift that I keep giving myself. What tools can we use? Sharing some of my previous blog posts where I shared very useful tools that helped me Know your worth! - ask for what you want and deserve Know Your Strengths - look at all the things you are good at Celebrate your accomplishments - appreciate the great moments in your life Start your Self-discovery journey - spend time getting to know your awesome self Know what you are afraid of - push past your fears and do great things Great Resources Check out my videos on Learning Self-Acceptance and How to get the value from self-assessments. Call to Action What do you love about yourself? Celebrate yourself |
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