 In our lives, we experience many ups and downs. I have realized that it is very easy to stay motivated when things are going well. However, it is challenging to keep being motivated when unexpected things happen or when you feel stressed with everything going on in your life. To thrive and live our best lives, we need to develop strategies to maintain our motivation irrespective of what we are going through.
In this blog post, we will explore ways to motivate ourselves in all of life's circumstances. Recognize the power you have over your motivation A lot of us look outside for people or things that motivate us. Being dependent on extrinsic motivators makes you give up the power you have. I believe that you can motivate yourself and do not need to wait for other people. The ability to notice when I am demotivated, discover the root cause, and then take action to restore my motivation makes me feel empowered. Strategies to consider
Remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life A recent conversation with a friend reminded me of this point. When you feel stuck and demotivated, you tend to focus on things that are not going well in your life. I have found that when I intentionally redirect my focus and think about positive things, it helps me feel motivated again. The exercise of reflecting on my accomplishments over a period of time helps shift my perspective. Writing them down helps me visualize and count my blessings. Strategies to consider
Strategize and create a plan One of the ways to renew your motivation is to mentally unblock yourself from your state of feeling stuck and demotivated. When you start planning for the future, your mind focuses on things that are to come, and you are filled with hope. It helps you look past whatever is not going well and helps you see your future clearer. Planning concrete action steps is a way to reclaim your power. Strategies to consider
Do something different When you make changes in your routine, it allows you to explore new things. You might be feeling demotivated because life has become predictable. It might be time to try new things and change something in your life. Strategies to consider
Find inspiration We all need to find things that keep us excited and hopeful. I was talking to someone recently who had just attended a conference, and she spoke about the impact that the experience had on her day. She shared that she felt a new sense of excitement and motivation. Being inspired will definitely increase your motivation. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Life is a lot more fun when we are motivated to do the things we need to accomplish our goals and live out our dreams. Let's do what we can to restore and maintain our motivation. Time to reflect
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 To accomplish the bold goals we have planned, we need to guard our time and resources. One of the topics that I have been reflecting on recently is that I have been a little lax with the boundaries that I set, especially around my time. After completing my goals review for the first quarter of this year, I realized that I need to make some changes. At the start of the year, I had identified the need to limit my work hours. However, as the year progressed, I was still overworking. It is something I really want to change in the coming months. The insights gathered have led me to reevaluate the boundaries I need to set to accomplish my goals.
In this blog post, we will discuss the importance of setting boundaries and the areas where we need them. Why is it important to set boundaries There are multiple benefits of setting boundaries and guarding things we care about, including:
How can we set boundaries and thrive The first step to setting boundaries is thinking about different areas of your life where you want to make changes and evaluating what boundaries you would like to set. One of my guiding thoughts around boundaries is that I will do everything I can to free up my mind and resources to focus on things that will help me accomplish my goals. Set boundaries with your family and friends The people we love are more likely than others to overstep boundaries that we set. I am a strong believer that we need to tell people how we want to be treated in order to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries with family and friends is one of the most challenging things, as we typically want to avoid hurting their feelings. It is crucial to see setting boundaries as a commitment to take good care of yourself. Questions to consider
Set boundaries at work Especially since we spend so much time at work, it is essential to set boundaries there. The pandemic caused many lines between our work and lives to become very blurry. It takes a lot of intentional action to set the boundaries that we need to avoid overworking. Questions to consider
Set boundaries around your finances To accomplish your financial goals, you will need to be intentional and disciplined about how you spend your money. I had seen my finances grow the most when I focused on saving and making wise investments. It is essential to say no to spending my money on things that don't help me build wealth. Sometimes it involves me saying no to people, which is uncomfortable. I remind myself of what I am working on accomplishing in my finances in those situations. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts It is very easy to let go of your boundaries. However, the effect on our well-being and growth is very significant. Setting and maintaining your boundaries is an excellent commitment to yourself. Time to Reflect
 We all have to have difficult conversations in many aspects of our lives. They are critical to building relationships, having successful careers, and living a great life. I wish there were easy ways to master these conversations and make them less painful. Like with most things in our lives, when we can learn to handle difficult conversations in a better way.
In this blog post, I will share some things I am learning about handling difficult conversations. It is still a journey that I am still on. Reflect on past difficult conversations you have had We have all had a lot of difficult conversations over our lifetime. Some are easier to navigate than others. There are many things we can learn about ourselves if we take the time to reflect on how the conversations went. Most of the time, I find myself doing everything in my power to try to forget the conversation versus reflecting on the critical lessons that I could take away from them. I have learned that I do not like leaving a conversation feeling like I could not get my point across or defend my perspective. I am working on this by learning strategies to handle those feelings better. Strategies to consider
Be prepared for the conversation It is crucial to prepare yourself, especially with conversations that might have different outcomes than expected. It is mostly about you plotting a plan for yourself. I write some notes about the topic we are discussing and use that to prepare my mind before the conversation. Another thing that helps me is to get someone else's perspective or advice. You will handle the conversation better if you go in prepared rather than let your emotions take over at the moment. Strategies to consider
Focus on the actual conversation One of the crucial things that make difficult conversations better is being present and listening to what is being said. Often in my mind, I have built a whole movie about the conversation, what the person might be insinuating, and the impact of the discussion afterward. This makes the conversation even bigger and more complicated than it needs to be. Listening to what they are saying is always a better route to take. I struggle with this point and would like to practice my deep listening skills. Instead of focusing on formulating my response while people are speaking, I want to listen to understand and not to respond. Strategies to consider
Recap the conversation afterwards We can all learn something from conversations, irrespective of how they go. Spending a few minutes thinking about how the conversation went will give you some great insights. Thinking through good discussions can help build your confidence. You have the opportunity to recap what you did during the conversation. You can use your notes as a reference for the next time you have a difficult conversation. And if the conversation did not go well, use the opportunity to offload the things from your mind and get closure. Strategies to consider
Be kind to yourself I have come out of conversations and beat myself up for weeks afterwards because I wished I did or said things differently. Even when conversations go well, sometimes there is still a strange feeling or thought about how we may have wanted to do things differently. Going over conversations over and over is not very helpful for our minds. Especially overthinkers like me, we often struggle with letting go. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Handling difficult conversations well is a skill that needs work to build. If you feel like running away from difficult conversations, you are not alone. We all have to keep practicing to get more comfortable. Great Resources  Over the last 21 years, I have had many experiences as an immigrant in Germany and the US. I recently talked with someone who had immigrated to the US, and we shared our common experiences. It is amazing to see how many things we have in common because we have lived in a different country than the ones we were born in.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that are part of my life as an Immigrant and how I handle them. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Being affected by unrest in the world With everything going on around the world, my heart goes out to people who are affected in the regions and those in the diaspora who are watching from afar. With every news story about bad things happening, it feels very personal. I know how it feels to worry about peace in the world and the impact on people you know. How do I handle it?
Missing key family milestones Our family recently grew by one member, and I could not be there in person. Recently, I recalled how many family celebrations I have had to watch from afar. I have gotten used to being too far away to celebrate key milestones with my extended family. How do I handle it?
Not understanding the jokes and references Whenever someone uses a cultural or historical reference that I do not understand, I am reminded that I am an immigrant. There are many things that people ask me about Nigeria, Germany, or the US that I do not know. Every day, someone mentions something about the country I am in that is new to me. How do I handle it?
Missing some of your favorite food If you read my blogs, you know how much I miss German bread. Someone talked about bread at a gathering that I was visiting lately, and I was already excited about eating great bread. When I moved to Germany, I still remember that I did not know where to find ingredients to make Nigerian food. We have definitely come a long way with the availability of food items from different countries. How do I handle it?
Getting a visa and other immigration documents Sitting in the offices of the immigration officers who get to decide if you can stay in a country, is a very humbling experience. No matter how many times you have been in that situation, there is always a small thought in your mind wondering if this is the time you get denied a stay in a country and would have to leave. How do I handle it?
Being asked where you are from Interestingly the question I get asked the most is, "where are you from." I have gotten very used to the question and know how to distinguish the intent behind the question. Most of the time, people are curious because they hear a different accent when I talk, and other times people want to make me feel like I don't belong. Fortunately, I have received more of the questions asked with positive intent. How do I handle it?
Disconnecting from your social network Every time I talk to someone who grew up on the same city or country that they currently live in, I wonder what it is like. I have lived in 3 countries and many different cities, which has made me lose touch with the people I spent some time with. Social media has helped me keep in touch with some people I grew up with, but the connection is certainly not the same. How do I handle it?
Having to create a new home often One of the advantages of being an immigrant and living in different places is that you develop the skills to create a home where you find yourself. Over the years, I have learned not to be attached to a physical location and to find happiness wherever I am. When I moved to the US, I was able to leverage the lessons I learned living in Germany. And now, I have built home my own little family. How do I handle it?
Not having some privileges or access to resources When I was studying in Germany, I wished that I had access to other students' financial resources. It would have made my life much easier. There is a long list of other privileges that Immigrants do not know about or have access to. How do I handle it?
Understanding the experiences of other Immigrants There is something very powerful about being different and having experienced being the "only" or a minority. It makes you more sensitive to the experiences of others whose lives are different from majority groups. Honestly, being an immigrant has made me kinder and more respectful of people. How do I handle it?
Final Thoughts My experiences as an immigrant have made me a better human. I am very grateful to everyone on my journey that has been my companion. I am living the amazing life that I want to be living. |
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