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How to practice self-love and stop being hard on yourself

26/10/2021

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On our recent family vacation, I noticed I was being very hard on myself and needed to remember to give myself some grace. It is easy to constantly dwell on what you could have done better and forget to enjoy the moment. In our lives as individuals, mothers, partners, caregivers, or professionals, there will be times when you will have to choose to love yourself and not be overly hard on yourself.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to practice self-love every day.
 
#1: Accept that good is good enough
While striving to do our best is a good thing, it can very easily become a burden. Wanting to be perfect in everything you do puts you under so much pressure and is not sustainable. You want to get to a place where you feel ok with delivering good outputs. Especially if you are playing multiple roles, you need to know when to accept that you have completed a particular task and be ok with it. Sometimes striving to get things done well and not perfect is what we need to do to enjoy our lives.
 
Questions to consider
  • What areas of your life are you putting yourself under so much pressure because you want to be perfect?
 
#2: Track your accomplishments and celebrate your successes
When you get into the habit of celebrating your wins, it helps remind you of how far you have come and the progress you are making. Often, we forget to celebrate the completion of a task or project and keep moving to the next thing without taking a moment to enjoy it. Celebrating what you have accomplished is a great way to remind yourself of how amazing you are.
 
Questions to consider
  • What have you accomplished over the past three months?
 
#3: Track your learnings
There will be situations that will go differently than you planned. Although you might not be satisfied with the outcome, the best way to deal with them is to take away the lessons you learned and keep moving. We tend to dwell on the failures and regrets we have. It would be better to learn from them and strive not to make the same mistakes again in the future.
 
Questions to consider
  • What lessons did you learn from the last thing that you did not do well?
 
#4: Continue discovering who you are
We are growing and evolving with every life experience and phase. Spending time getting to know yourself is essential. You will discover things that you did not know about yourself that are awesome. Knowing your strengths and things that make you unique will help you appreciate yourself even more.
 
Questions to consider
  • What is one thing you like about yourself?
 
#5: Take care of yourself
We focus more on caring for others and ensuring their needs are met while neglecting our own needs. It is time to start taking care of yourself and spoiling yourself. If I asked you when last you did something nice for yourself, it might take you a while to remember. We deserve to be a priority on our lists. Make time to practice self-care, take a break and get some rest as often as you can.
 
Questions to consider
  • How are you going to spoil yourself this month?
 
Final Thoughts
You are doing an excellent job even when you do not see it. We are often our worst critics and sometimes set unattainable goals for ourselves. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your awesomeness.
 
Time for Reflection
How have you been hard on yourself?
What is one nice thing that you need to tell yourself more?
What is one way you want to practice self-love this week?
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How to rekindle your Career

19/10/2021

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As we settle into our new normal in life, this is a great time to focus on things we have put aside to survive this past year. We spend a lot of time at work and deserve to be happy and accomplish our professional goals. I believe that we should own our development and take action to build our dream careers.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to recharge your career journey and thrive professionally.
 
Envision your dream career
Allowing yourself to dream about where you want to go in your career is essential. It is very easy to settle into the day-to-day of your job and forget about your career dreams and aspirations. Remembering what inspires you professionally is a great step to rekindle the excitement.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Ask yourself what your dream job is
  • Create a professional vision board or plan
  • Follow the professional journeys of people you admire
 
Check-in on your career goals
To accomplish great career success, you need to be working towards your goals. Take stock of where you are today compared to where you want to be professionally. It is crucial to check in on your goals regularly and measure the progress you are making.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down your professional goals
  • Explore what you think has been holding you back
  • Look at your career journey and your accomplishments
 
Build and leverage your career support group
When you have companions on your professional journey, you are more likely to accomplish your goals. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, provide guidance, give your feedback, act as a sounding board for your ideas and support your development. You don't have to go through your professional journey on your own.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Reach out to your sponsor and mentors
  • Have accountability partners who check in on your progress
  • Join professional groups and expand your network
 
Update your plan
Having a professional development plan is crucial to building a successful career. The intention is to document the steps you want to take and plan for them. Spending time planning will provide the clarity you need about what it would take to accomplish your goals.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Document the steps you will take to accomplish the next step on your career development plan
  • Do your research to gain more clarity on what you need to do
  • Commit to taking the steps on your plan
 
Take action towards your goals
Now that you have checked the progress you made, refreshed your goals, and updated your plan, it's time to take action. Putting in the work is the best way to develop your career. When you look back at this time in your life, you want to see the progress you have made in your career.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Take steps towards accomplishing your goals
  • Continue learning and developing new skills
  • Track your progress regularly
 
Great Resources
  • Own your career development
  • How to find and build relationships with your professional allies
  • How to ask for what you want at work
  • How to build a professional network
  • Telling your Career story
 
Call to Action
  • Are you where you want to be at this stage in your career?
  • What are your big career goals?
  • What are you going to do within the next month to accomplish your career goals?
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Reflecting on my first year as a Mother

12/10/2021

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When I found out we were expecting a baby in March 2020, I had no idea what life journey we were about to embark on. It was the same week when the world started shutting down due to the global pandemic. My experience being pregnant was very different given the times we were in. Everything went better than I expected, and our baby boy was born in October 2020. My motherhood journey kicked off and has been on for a year now. One thing I am grateful for, is that I had been caring for children from when I was younger until I graduated from college. My experience taught me a lot about caring for the basic needs of children. However, having a child of your own for 24 hours every day takes a little bit more.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten lessons I learned from my first year being a mother to our amazing son. Check out my reflection on my first mother's day.
 
#1: Acknowledge the huge life change
Becoming a mother or parent changes your life in a very significant way. I had no idea what to expect and was surprised by how much my priorities would shift. Having time during my pregnancy to mentally prepare for the shift in our lives helped me. However, the past twelve months have changed me even more. I am still getting to know myself as a mum.
 
#2: Don't live in fear 
One of the first things I committed to doing when I found out that I was pregnant was not allowing fear to take over my life. Eight years earlier, I had a major surgery that made me worry about having a healthy pregnancy. I am so thankful that everything went well. Fast-forward to now that I have my son, I have to fight more fears on a daily basis. I constantly need to remind myself that every fall or scary moment is part of the journey.
 
#3: Embrace and enjoy the journey
People were right when they said time would go by very quickly. I have to constantly remind myself to be in the moment and enjoy the time with my son to the fullest. The pandemic gave me a gift where I get to work from home, be with him and experience his milestones. Seeing him grow and learn new things every day has been one of the most exciting things I have ever experienced.
 
#4: Lean on your partner or support system
Before I had a baby, I always thought I would have a stronger network and the "village" that would help me. Due to the pandemic, my support system was my husband alone. I have come to really love and appreciate my husband in a very different way. We have taken care of our son on our own from the day he was born till today. Learning to let go and accept his help made my life better.
 
#5: Do the things you said you would never do
There were some things around taking care of a child that I said I would never do before I had our son. Now I have come to accept that it is ok to do things that I would not have done because they are necessary at the moment. The truth that I have come to accept is that I can't control everything and striving for perfection is exhausting.
 
#6: Make time for things you are passionate about
One thing that I knew I really wanted to continue doing after becoming a mother was writing my blog. It has become something that allows me to express myself and grow in many ways. I made a deal with myself that I would not post for the duration of my maternity leave. Once it was over, I went back to writing my weekly posts because I really enjoyed them.
 
#7: Chase your professional goals …. responsibly
While being a mum is fulfilling and exciting, I know that I still want to continue having a successful career. I returned to work when my baby was 3,5 months old. Going back to work at that time was a conscious choice that I made because of the professional goals I had. In the last nine months since I went back to work, I have worked extremely hard. There have been times when I had to remind myself to rest a little because I was going too fast.
 
#8: Find your "flavor" of motherhood
As with everything, comparing yourself to others around you never has a great outcome. I have found that I am a mother that prioritizes being prepared, reading up on parenting topics, cooking my baby's food from scratch, and much more. I also acknowledge that there are things that other mothers enjoy doing that I do not, and that is perfectly fine.
 
#9: Be gracious and kind to yourself
We set high standards and have expectations of who we want to be as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, working professional and all the other identities we hold. Having high expectations of ourselves is good until it puts you under pressure and causes unnecessary stress. It is essential for you not to be too hard on yourself.
 
#10: Celebrate yourself
Reflecting on the last twelve months, I am very proud of all that I have accomplished. Taking care of a baby and working full time has not been the easiest thing I have done in my life. However, I have been doing both and rocking it.
 
Final Thoughts
Celebrating milestones has become a tradition for me. I want to make sure I am reflecting, learning and being grateful for all my experiences. To all the mothers out there, thank you for being awesome!!!
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How to get comfortable talking about your accomplishments and successes

5/10/2021

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Talking about our accomplishments and successes can feel a little daunting. However, it is very crucial that we get more comfortable doing it. In our private or professional lives, there are situations where we choose to either showcase our unique contributions or let them go unnoticed. If I asked you if you have ever been in a situation where you wished you spoke up and shared your accomplishments, your answer would probably be yes.
 
In this blog post, we will discuss how to get more comfortable talking about your accomplishments. Check out my other "Her Growth" posts for tips and resources to support your personal growth.
 
#1: Take stock of your accomplishments
Firstly, you need to believe that you have accomplished great things. Irrespective of how big or small you might think your successes are, they matter and should be celebrated. I learned to keep an accomplishment log where I write down my successes, and positive feedback people gave me. When you know what your accomplishments are, it is much easier to talk about them.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down your accomplishments, regularly at least once a quarterly
 
#2: Find a way to share your accomplishment that feels authentic to you
When I talk to people who are not very comfortable with talking about their accomplishments, they often share that it feels uncomfortable or unnatural to them. Their reasons include not wanting to sound proud, not knowing the right words to use and not feeling it fits their personalities. We know that it is important for our growth, so we should invest time in exploring different ways to find what works best for us.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Observe people around you and find a style that you like
 
#3: Practice talking about it
Especially for things that we do not feel very comfortable doing, practicing makes it easier. Now that you have taken stock of your accomplishments and found a way to share them that feels good to you, it is time to share them with someone. Prepare to have the conversation and rehearse if you need to. Find someone who you know will celebrate with you and share your accomplishments with them. It might feel scary at first, but it will get better the more you do it. Also, seeing people's reactions to your great successes will motivate you to keep sharing.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Share your top accomplishments in 2021 with people you trust
 
#4: Find and take opportunities to share your accomplishments
Getting into the habit of sharing your accomplishments will make it feel more natural. There might be established processes like yearly performance reviews where you get to talk about the great work you have done at work. Make sure you are taking advantage of them. You may also have to create opportunities to showcase your successes if none exist. Use your resume, profile, or other platforms to share highlights. In your private life, leverage the conversations you have to share your accomplishments with people.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Identify opportunities to share your accomplishments
 
#5: Continue tracking and celebrating your accomplishments
As you continue to grow and do great things, document them. It is very easy to forget what you have accomplished if you do not keep track of them. Along with making sure you remember your successes, you also want to celebrate them. We do not spend enough time celebrating how far we have come and often wait for people to celebrate us. Your successes are a big deal and need to be treated as such.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Update your Accomplishments log and celebrate your successes
 
Final Thoughts
Over the last years, I have learned that it is my responsibility to celebrate my accomplishments and journey. This is something that I constantly remind myself of. I look forward to hearing about your amazing successes.
 
Great Resources
How to start celebrating your accomplishments
Celebrate your professional achievements
How to master the art of self-promotion
 
Call to Action
What have you accomplished over the last year?
How are you going to practice talking about your accomplishments?
How will you celebrate your next major accomplishment?
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    Author

    Marie-Christin Anthony
    -Learning and sharing

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