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What to do when you feel Insecure

12/3/2019

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"Insecurity is just something that's there all the time. I've never been crippled by it." Catherine Keener
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Do you feel insecure or you're not good enough?

As women we have a lot we are insecure about such as our body image, knowledge, identity, experiences or our relationships. In order for our insecurity not to get in the way of our progress we need to take active steps to deal with it.

In this blog post, we will explore the definition of being insecure, how it affects our lives, the importance of dealing with our insecurities as well as practical strategies you can apply the next time you feel insecure. I will also share a little about my journey with insecurity.

What does it mean to be insecure?
  • Insecure people have little confidence and are uncertain about their own abilities or if other people really like them: (Source: Cambridge Dictionary)
  • Someone who extremely lacks self-confidence. She won't know her worth. They would dislike their physical appearance & constantly compare themselves to their peers. Never feeling good enough, feeling sorry for themselves. (Source: Urban Dictionary)

Why is it important to face our insecurities ?
  • For our personal growth
  • To set an example for the young girls and ladies around us
  • To equip ourselves for the future

How does being insecure affect you?
  • Affects the way you see yourself
  • Stops you from taking bold steps
  • Limits your perspective on the big things you can do

What should you work towards?
The positive feelings are: secure, confident, assured, certain, decisive, stable, unafraid or untroubled.

5 Strategies to deal with your insecurity
#1: Accept your insecurities
Feeling insecure in any aspect of your life is normal. Being aware of your insecurities provides you with the opportunity to address them heads on. Spend time getting to know yourself more and equip yourself with the tool you need.

#2: Celebrate your achievements
Think back on those times when you overcame your insecurities and took a bold step. Celebrate them and acknowledge how hard you worked to make it happen. And then when you start doubting yourself or feeling insecure, take a look at what you've achieved.

#3: Commit to a plan
Setting a deadline and committing to a plan is a great way to hold yourself accountable to overcome your insecurities. The act of committing to do something puts you in a mindset of taking action.

#4:Do something you are afraid of
Take a step and do something you don't feel fully prepared for. The best strategy to face your insecurity is to take action. Sometimes it takes a while for you to start feeling confident. Continue taking steps towards achieving your goals.

#5: Share your story
Often, when we share our insecurities with others and listen to theirs as well, we feel empowered. Knowing that you are not alone with some of the challenges you face makes it feel better. Empower others and be empowered by others.

MC's Story
I also have my own share of insecurities. Recently I had to practice what I preach and face my insecurities. For about a year, I had been thinking about creating other avenues to share content and expand my community. Creating a YouTube channel was the next logical move, but I was too afraid to do it. I had never recorded or edited videos ever before. I was also very insecure about how I would look and sound on camera. There were many insecurities that I had to overcome before I took the first step.
The strategy that helped me was "Commit to a plan". Once I set a date to launch in March 2019, I had a date to work towards. For me keeping my commitment was more important than all the insecurities that held me back.
I did it !!! I launched my YouTube Channel this month.

Call To Action
What areas are you insecure? What strategies are you planning to apply? Identify your insecurities.

Final Thoughts
  • Feeling insecure does not mean you are weak - it is an indication of a personal preference you need to work on.
  • It is possible to face your insecurities and win in whatever you are working towards.
  • Build your self-esteem and confidence.

Great Resources
  • The Confidence Gap
  • 5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure
  • 7 Ways To Let Go Of Insecurity In Your Relationship
  • 11 Things To Tell Yourself When You're Feeling Insecure
  • To Overcome Your Insecurity, Recognize Where It Really Comes From
  • Feel Like You Aren't Good Enough? Here's The Fastest Way To Overcome Any Insecurity
2 Comments

To my Twin Sister

21/10/2018

1 Comment

 
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It was a Tuesday, shortly after noon two amazing twin girls were born in Neuss Germany. It's our birthday, and I want to do something special for my birthday companion - my twin sister Melissa-Sue.
 
This post is very personal for me. I want to celebrate Melissa today in a very special way. Let me share a little about my sister, the important role she plays in my life and some of my favorite memories.
 
How would I describe Melissa?
This is a dicey one; there are so many words that come to mind when I think about my sister. I chose to describe some of her unique strengths:
  • Loving, sweet, kind
  • Strong and tenacious
  • Great attention to detail
  • Creative and colorful
  • Family oriented
 
What does my sister do for me?
Over the last year, I've been learning to value my relationships. Here are some of the fantastic things my sister does for me:
  • She's my cheerleader through my life experiences.
  • She shows me how different journeys can be.
  • She reminds me of the importance of family time.
  • She helps me see how healthy relationships change and evolve.
  • She celebrates my achievements.
 
What we have in common?
We are a very "uncommon" set of twins. Though our physical features and personalities are very different, we have some commonalities. I want to take time to share things we have in common:
  • We love to laugh and have a contagious laughter
  • We get things done
  • We enjoy good food especially Nigerian food
  • We like places to smell good
  • We care and share our love
 
My favorite memories with my Twin sister
In our lives together, we have had a lot of great memories, a few of them are:
 
Celebrating our birthdays as kids
I enjoyed our birthdays together; it felt great to share my birthday with someone. Although my mum decided to dress us in the same outfits, we still had our individual birthday preferences.
 
Telling people, we are twins
It seemed like we spent much time trying to convince people first that we were related and then that we were twins. I enjoyed the shocked look on people’s faces. We had something special that was ours.
 
Enjoying great food together
There were so many times growing up when we would eat the simple things we loved and bond over them. The memories of our weekend meals are very dear to me. Till date, every time we get to spend together, we make it a priority to eat something delicious.
 
Reuniting in Germany
After spending over a year alone in Germany, my sister moved as well. Thinking back, being in the same country allowed us to share many growth opportunities and be there for one another.
 
Having my niece
Seeing my sister become a mum seven years ago was a very memorable milestone on our journey. Observing my sister with my niece shows me how much she is willing to share her love.
 
Spending Christmas 2017 together
Spending time with my sister and niece was very special. Introducing them to my new life in the US made me very aware of all the changes that I have experienced. We made so many great memories that I’ll always value.
 
My Final Thoughts
I am very grateful for my sister, and I'm looking forward to many more years together.
Please wish my twin sister Melissa-Sue a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday to my one and only twin Sister 😊
1 Comment

Ten Life Lessons I learned from my Mother

9/5/2018

5 Comments

 
"We are who we are today as a result of the contributions of the great people in our lives"- MC
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My mother's birthday falls around Mother’s Day every year. I am excited to wish my mother a Happy 66th Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day 2018. This year I want to do something different and celebrate how she has impacted my life as a Woman.
My mother raised two great biological daughters as a single mum. She is also a mother figure to many other children. She contributes to the growth of many men and women.
Most of my adult life I worked hard to learn from some of the mistakes my mom made. Recently, I changed my perspective and started thinking about the significant role my mum played in shaping the woman I am today. I want to take some time to share some of the lessons I learned from my mother.
 
Lesson 1: Be Disciplined
My mum is so disciplined that people around us often thought she served in the army. Throughout my developing years, she instilled the importance of discipline in everything we do. In my personal and professional life discipline has helped me address chaos.
 
Lesson 2: Treat everyone equally and with respect
My mum would always greet everyone and ask them how they are doing. She treats everyone equally no matter if the person was her boss, a janitor, a salesperson or a kid. She taught us to be respectful to everyone we came across. Because of my mum paying it forward, people always looked out for us.
 
Learn 3: Work hard
I watched my mum work multiple jobs simultaneously to provide for my sister and I. Till today my mum enjoys working and staying very busy. When life gets busy, I unleash the hard worker my mum trained.
 
Lesson 4: Care for others
My mum cares for people with everything she has emotionally, physically and financially. An incident I would never forget was on a Sunday morning when I was very young, a lady was run over by a bus, while people were watching the accidents, my mum ran over and carried this lady in her arms to a car that was transporting her to the hospital. My mother showed of empathy for people in different situations.
 
Lesson 5: Be organized
The organization skills my mum passed down to us has helped us thrive in life. This skills came in very handy when I moved to Germany at age fifteen and in my craft as a Project Manager. My mum encouraged us to be organized and on top of our tasks, finances, and responsibilities.
 
Lesson 6: Keep it Simple
On a recent trip to Nigeria, I was reminded of my mum's simplicity by seeing how she lived, how she worked and how she related to people around her. If you know me, you know that I run away from complexity and strive for simplicity in my life. We do not need much to be happy.
 
Lesson 7: Be ready to serve
My mum is always prepared to help. She lives by example - If there's a need, she is ready to step in. She taught me that no task is beneath me. My memories of my mum volunteering and taking us along with her date back to when I was three years old.
 
Lesson 8: Be punctual
A valuable lesson I learned from my mum was being punctual to everything. A punctual Nigerian – I know what you are thinking. Till today my mum arrives at least an hour early to everything she attends. I modified my time of arrival slightly.
 
Lesson 9: Keep learning
Working multiple jobs and raising two daughters did not stop my mum from taking weekend and evening classes to get her Masters. My mum taught me the value of continuous learning and developing new skills.
 
Lesson 10: Never run out of salt
I decided to wrap up my list on a lighter note. Growing up, I watched my mum ensure we had the essentials stocked up. Looking at my stock pile, I know where I got it from. I never run out of basics in my home.
 
To my mom:
Thank you for raising Melissa-Sue and I to be strong successful women. You have taught us valuable lessons that help us grow and be our best.
Let's appreciate one of the greatest women I know. Please wish my mum a happy birthday and share how she has contributed to your life in the comments section.

5 Comments

Starting Mastermind groups

19/4/2018

0 Comments

 
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Lately, I have been exploring different ways to start building the Her perspective community. In my research of different formats, Mastermind groups stood out to me in different ways. I liked the collaborative nature and the fact that all members could contribute their diverse skills and perspectives encouraged me a lot.
In the spirit of "if you want to be part of a community that doesn't exist build one," I am starting Mastermind groups for women.
 
Revisiting why I started this platform
In my first blog post titled  What I want from my blog, I shared the following objectives:
  • Support women like me on their journey
  • Build a community of smart women who can share and support each other
  • Be a safe place for you through life transitions and adapting to change
  • Build local relationships
  • Share our leanings
 
What is a Mastermind Group?
  • A mastermind group is a peer-to-peer mentoring concept used to help members solve their problems with input and advice from the other group members (Source: Wikipedia)
  • A mastermind is a peer-mentoring group of individuals who meet on a regular basis (in-person or virtually) to push each other to work to their highest potential and hold each other accountable. (Source: Why a Mastermind Group Can Accelerate Your Success (And How to Form One))
  • A mastermind group is simply a meeting of highly motivated folks who share a common goal and are looking to encourage and help each other improve. (Source: What is a Mastermind Group?)
 
Why am I starting Mastermind Groups?
The mission of the Her Perspective Mastermind groups is to connect women who can help one another achieve their goals in specific areas of their lives.
 
Why join a Mastermind Group?
There are so many benefits of joining mastermind groups, such as:
  • Have accountability partners.
  • Learn and share with other women.
  • Build a valuable community.
  • Expand your perspective.
  • Extend your network.
  • Get feedback on your ideas and plans.
  • Get new ideas.
 
Starting point: What I heard?
Earlier this month I polled 20 women in my network to probe interest in joining a mastermind group, and this is what they said
Top 3 main reasons why ladies will join a mastermind group is:
  1. Learn something new
  2. Support Others
  3. Collaboration with Others
Top 3 areas where ladies would like more support include:
  1. Setting & Achieving your goals
  2. Career Advancement (Promotion, Salary)
  3. Financial Empowerment
 
Call to action
If you are interested in achieving your goals faster, please fill out the Mastermind Groups Survey. I have linked some vast resources to help you discover the opportunities Mastermind groups present.
 
Next Steps
Over the next months I am committed to doing the following:
  1. Create a pilot group of women with similar Interest areas.
  2. Onboard pilot group members.
  3. Start pilot group.
  4. Share some success stories.
  5. Learn and create other groups.
 
Great Resources
  • Join a Mastermind Group? Here’s What You Need to Know
  • 7 Reasons To Join A Mastermind Group - Forbes
  • Why a Mastermind Group Can Accelerate Your Success (And How to Form One)
  • Why You Should Consider Joining a Mastermind Group
  • What Nobody Tells You About Mastermind Groups
  • Go Beyond Simple Networking and Organize Your Own Mastermind Group
  • 6 qualities the best paid mastermind groups offer
  • How to Launch a Successful Mastermind Group
  • Create a “Mastermind Group” to Help Your Career
  • Why You Should Build A Mastermind Group
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I took the first step towards my dream: mariechristinanthony.com is here!

5/2/2018

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Whatever you have been dreaming of – Take the first step

For over seven years I have been nesting my dream of building a platform where women like me shared experiences and learned from one another. I knew very early that the first step in building the platform was starting my website. You might be wondering why it took me seven years and how I finally did it.

In today’s blog we will concentrate on why it took me so long, how I overcame my blockades and what it takes to get started. Let’s discuss three steps to taking the first step towards your dream.

Step 1: Change your perspective- Tell yourself you can do it
It took me so long because let my limiting thoughts stop me. I let thoughts like “there are so many out there why should I join the crowd”, “I’m not a web designer/developer”, “I don’t know how to create content” limit me. I had to start by telling myself I can create a website that will be a great resource for women.

Step 2: Do your research, write down the tasks & start planning – What would it take?
A year ago not knowing where to start, I started doing my research to identify what it would take to create a site. It is important to outline what it will take for your dream to become reality. Break down what needs to be done into manageable tasks. Focus on doing the first activity and then the rest. For me I started with finding an easy to use website builder that will bridge my technological barrier, with that out of the way my dream was closer.

Step 3: Take the first step – Launch – Share with the world
Here the next challenge I had to overcome was striving for perfection. Perfection is the number one killer of dreams. I identified five “must-haves” for my first launch and got them out there. I am planning further rollouts of my site. First, I needed to get something out so I could iterate and grow.

I am so excited to announce that I did it – I launched my site on January 24, 2018. Come join me on my journey at mariechristinanthony.com

What have you been dreaming of and not dared to try. Join follow “Dream Activators” by sharing the first step you are committed to taking within the next month in the comments section below.

Final thoughts:
• A dream is not shared with the world will never be reality.
• You dream will die if you don’t take action
• Dreams become reality when we take the first step, get something out there.
• There is no such thing as perfection

Great Resource:
You Can Design Your Year- https://michaelhyatt.com/podcast-design-your-year/
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What I want from my blog

6/1/2018

3 Comments

 
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Always start with your why
Why am I embarking on this journey with a blog?

In 2011, I was in a conversation with someone close to me, talking about all the strong women I know that  are not leaving to their full potential. I had it on my heart to build a community and a support network. I'm sure you're asking what took so long - I have no answer to that.
Fast forward to 2017, it's time to get this started. I'm doing this with fear but I'm doing it.
I invite you to hold my hands through the journey and invite your friends to the party.

My motivation
  • I want to share my learnings with others
  • I could not find good resources
  • I have friends going through difficult times
  • I want to keep learning and growing
  • Friends asked me to share
  • I want to build a community
  • empower women in foreign lands
  • learn from each other - avoid the same mistakes
  • never be alone through your journey
What should this platform do?
  • Support women like me on their journey
  • Build a community of smart women who can share and support each other
  • Be a safe place for you through life transitions and adapting to change
  • Build local relationships
  • Share our leanings
This blog is dedicated to all the women in transition like me.

We are building a platform to share and learn from each other's experiences.
I have had my fair share of transitions in my life and I know my future holds many more.
Let's hold hands on our transition journey. You're not alone.

3 Comments
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    Marie-Christin Anthony
    -Learning and sharing

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