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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 5

31/8/2021

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Over the past month, I have been celebrating my 20th anniversary of living abroad. Reflecting on my life has been an amazing experience. There have been many ups and downs. I am excited to wrap up this series.
 
In this blog post, I will share the top 10 things that I wish I did more of and want to do more of over the next years on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Travel more and see the world
Especially when I moved to the US, I realized that I was very far from the rest of the world. While I lived in Germany, I could have traveled more. However, primarily due to financial constraints, I was not able to. Now that I am more financially independent, I can now see more of the world.
 
Spend more time with my loved ones
For most of my journey, I have lived so far from my loved ones and have not spent much time with them. Especially going through the pandemic over the last 18 months, I have realized how much I want to spend time with my people.
 
Celebrate my cultural identity
It took me over 14 years of living abroad to accept the fact that I have different facets of my identity. I now know that I am German-Nigerian, and both cultures influence who I am. There is beauty in knowing and living in your cultural identity.
 
Enjoy the local culture and sights
After living in California for almost seven years, I feel like I have seen more in the last years than when I initially moved here. I want to enjoy where I live a little more. There is so much to see and experience wherever you find yourself.
 
Build wealth and invest in my future
Most of my first years on this journey were spent being broke and then becoming financially independent. I want to focus more on building wealth. I have learned many valuable lessons about finances and have been applying them to my life. 
 
Build new memories
While I was reflecting on my journey, I realized that there is still so much that I can experience. I am excited to go out of my comfort zone and do new things. When I am reflecting on the next 20 years, I want to have so much to share.
 
Tell my story
Although I started sharing some aspects of my journey over the last three years, there is still a lot that I have not shared. One of the main reasons is that I have not yet entirely permitted myself to share all aspects of my story. I decided to start sharing more about my experiences navigating life in new countries.
 
Do more of what I enjoy
In the last year, I have been asking myself what I enjoy doing. I spent most of my journey trying to survive, and now I am in a phase when I'm thriving. I can now enjoy myself more, and I am excited to experience more food and see beautiful places.
 
Worry less and live in the moment  
For a major part of my 20-year journey, I was very worried about my future. I did not know where my life was heading. Over the past years, I have learned to worry less and want to continue on that path.
 
Enjoy the experience with our son
My life abroad changed when I had our son in 2020. I now get to experience living in different countries with him. Sometimes I wonder what his cultural identity will be and how he will live his life. 
 
Final Thoughts
Looking back, I can see how far I have come on my journey. I am very grateful for everything that I have experienced and excited for the amazing future ahead. 

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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 4

24/8/2021

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​This week, I will be continuing my 20th-anniversary celebration by sharing moments that changed my life forever. On my journey so far, there have been those times when I did not know how much the decisions I made will impact my life in a good way. When I reflect on my journey, I know there were many opportunities for things to go really wrong, but they did not.
 
In this blog post, I will share the top 10 defining moments on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Being Evicted and living on people's couches
Coming home and seeing my belonging outside the door of the house that I had lived in for almost a year in Germany is one memory that I will never forget. I feel like this was the real beginning of my journey surviving all by myself.
 
How did my life change?
  • Although things went very differently than I planned, it was the beginning of my independence at the age of 16.
 
#2: When my sister moved to Germany
My sister moved to Germany about 17 months after I moved there. Her arrival was at a time where I was struggling and had no home of my own. Some things happen in life that motivate you to make bold moves, and this was one of them Together, we faced all the challenges and built memories for life.
 
How did my life change?
  • Feeling responsible for someone else motivated me to go out and work hard so we could take care of ourselves
 
#3: Moving into our first apartment
My sister and I shared a tiny room in a hostel on campus. Having our own space felt like the best thing ever. Interestingly this was the first place I felt at home after living in Germany for almost two years. I had stayed in places where I went to sleep but did not feel at home. The feeling of being at home is one that I really value.
 
How did my life change?
  • Living on our own for the first time helped us learn valuable homemaking skills
 
#4: Deciding to change my University  course
I had spent three years struggling to complete the first degree I started, and it was not working out. In my life, quitting was one thing I had not done often. I had been trained that if you work harder, you can do everything. However, in this case, I needed to change and do something else.
 
How did my life change?
  • Accepting that failing at one thing did not make me a failure helped me become brave
 
#5: Getting my first job
After I graduated and earned my Bachelor's degree, I had one year to find a job before losing my visa to stay in Germany. It was a lot of pressure because I did not want to lose everything after fighting for nine years. I still remember applying for so many jobs and getting rejections. Finally, I got invited to three job interviews and was hoping to get one. Finally, I got the call. I remember how nervous I was on my first day.
 
How did my life change?
  • Earning more money meant I could do more of the things that I wanted to
 
#6: Earning my Masters degree
After struggling so much to graduate from my first degree, I never thought that less than a year after graduating, I would decide to start my Masters. I still remember finding the university and the course I wanted to study. It was important for me to continue setting myself apart by gaining more knowledge and getting the official degree. On my professional journey so far, my degree has helped open doors.
 
How did my life change?
  • The process of getting my post-graduate degree reminded me that I could learn and it set me apart.
 
#7: Moving to the US
When I think back to the timing of my relocation to the US, it was not perfect at all. Given where I was in my life, I knew that even though the circumstances were not optimal, it was time for me to move. My move was the beginning of many great things for me. I was moving to another country to be with my special man with a good job. It was one of the best moves I made in my life.
 
How did my life change?
  • Gaining more financial stability had enabled me to do more in my life
 
#8: Starting to tell my story
In 2017, I found myself in social situations where I could share more about myself. Until this point, I did not think a lot about my journey or even talk about my life so far. Someone said something I would never forget. She told me she thought I had a unique story to tell. Not only did I start talking about my story more, but I also launched my blog in January 2018. I have taken every opportunity that I am given to tell my story.
 
How did my life change?
  • Telling my story helps me see how far I have come
 
#9: Finding my passion Job
After working for over 18 years now, from my mini-jobs to internships through full-time positions, I now know what I want to be doing. Helping people be their best selves is something that I enjoy doing. I used to have to do a lot of fulfilling work outside of my full-time job. In the last two years, I have been able to work on programs that align more with my strengths and passion.
 
How did my life change?
  • Working in a space that you are passionate about makes it worth it
​
#10: Living during a global pandemic
The last 18 months have been a very interesting time. My story living abroad will not be complete without mentioning this pivotal time in our lives. The pandemic limited our ability to move around and helped me build deeper roots in my current city.
 
How did my life change?
  • Learning to appreciate the beauty of where we live now.
 
Final Thoughts
As I reflect on my journey, there are so many moments that have made it amazing.  I cannot imagine how different my life would have been if I made other choices.

A Snapshot of My Story
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 3

17/8/2021

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After living in Germany and the US for 20 years, I experienced many things that no one warned me about. When people talk about living abroad, there is a lot that they do not share. If we shared more with each other, we would be better prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly experiences.
 
In this blog post, I will share ten things I wish someone told me I would experience on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Food will be a very important part of your life
Over the years, food has become a crucial part of my experience. I find that I stay connected to Nigeria and Germany through the food I cook or crave. Over my years in Germany, I seriously sought out stores that sold Nigerian food ingredients. Back in the day, things were very expensive and scarce. However, I knew that eating some foods that I grew up with will give me some joy. Since I moved to the US over six years ago, I have been looking for bread that tastes like the amazing bread that I enjoyed in Germany.
 
#2: Home is wherever you want it to be
I wish someone would have told me that home is not a physical place or country; it is in the heart. This might sound cliché, but my life got much better when I stopped wishing I could go home. I accepted that I was already home wherever I was. I had been planning my exit from Germany for over seven years, and then I decided to start enjoying my life there. It really helped me to focus on building an amazing life there. My transition to the US was much easier because I knew I could create a home wherever I find myself.
 
#3: You will be lonely sometimes and learn to enjoy your own company
In my past posts, I shared my experience being away from all my family living in Germany. It was hard in the beginning because I had never been away from my twin sister. I had to learn to enjoy being on my own and find things that make me happy. After spending so many holidays alone, I started creating my own traditions and no longer dread them. Being alone is no longer something that I am afraid of.
 
#4: Measurement systems differ
This is very particular to living in the US, where the imperial measurement system is used compared to the metric system in all the other countries, I have lived in. I really do not understand why the US uses a different system. Even after six years living here, I still convert the temperature from Fahrenheit to Celsius when I watch the weather. No one told me that measurement norms will complicate my life. 
 
#5: Financial standards differ
When I moved to the US from Germany, I learned the concept of credit score. All my life in Germany and Nigeria, I never had a credit card. I had grown very scared of getting into debt. Then I moved to the US where I had to build my credit and was advised to buy everything with my credit card. It took me a long time to get used to it, and till today, I pay off my credit card very regularly because I do not want any issues. 
 
#6: Your cultural identity will change
How I identify culturally has changed a lot as I have lived in different countries. When I was living in Germany, I felt very Nigerian and identified fully with how I had grown up. Then I moved to the US and noticed that I felt both Nigerian and German. It took me a while to get comfortable with my cultural identity changing. Now I can comfortably say that my food culture is Nigerian and professional culture in German.
 
#7: You will become stronger and resilient
With all the difficulties that I had faced on my journey, the good that has come from it is that I am stronger. My ability to handle stressful situations has been tested over time. I have learned to bounce back from setbacks and continue with my life. As a result of all my experiences, I am stronger and more resilient. 
 
#8: There will be many amazing people on your journey
Over the past 20 years, I have met a lot of amazing people and built great relationships. The people on my journey have been one of the best parts of my journey. Although my circles are small, they have contributed to my life in many ways.
 
#9: You will get comfortable with the unknown and get excited by new things
In the past, when I was asked what my weakness was, I said I struggled with change. This is definitely not true anymore. I look forward to doing new things and exploring different opportunities. Moving to new cities and countries taught me to face unknown situations over and over again. Embracing the new with optimism is a skill that I apply in my everyday life.
 
#10: You will have many amazing memories
As I have reflected on my journey, I am reminded of so many happy moments. There has been a lot of laughter and celebrating our accomplishments. I wish I could have captured all the happy moments. My journey has been amazing and rewarding.
 
Final Thoughts
Telling my story on my blogs has enabled me to share my experiences with others. I really hope that through telling my story, I can help people anticipate what they may experience and validate people's experiences. We are all on this journey together. ​

A Snapshot of My Story
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 2

10/8/2021

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On my 20-year relocation Journey, I have experienced a lot of highs and lows. As I reflect on the negative experiences, I am reminded of how much I learned from them.

In this blog post, I will share the lowlights on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.

Taking longer to get my first degree
When I moved to Germany, I expected to earn my Engineering degree within five years. I could never have imagined how difficult it would be for me. The first course I started studying did not fit my strengths at all. I tried everything I could to make it work, although I knew I was failing. The thought of quitting and doing something else did not seem like an option for me. It took me three years before I decided to apply to a new university and study a new course. My second course was more aligned with my strengths. However, when I faced some challenges, I knew how to pivot and make changes. I finished the third course much faster and finally graduated with my Bachelor of Science degree. And a few years later, I earned my Masters degree.

What did I learn?
  • Know when it is time to make a change or pivot and do something else

Working multiple odd jobs
The number of different jobs I did is astonishing. I was a babysitter for multiple families, worked on Campus, at Subway and, in multiple cafes to be able to pay my way through college. Thinking back, it was difficult having to work multiple jobs at once to earn enough money. There were times when I wished I didn't have to work so much and could focus on school more. Not only was juggling multiple low-paying jobs hard, but it was also taking me away from my primary goal, which was to complete my degree. Although it wasn't always fun, I gained many skills.

What did I learn?
  • There are applied skills that you can leverage from other jobs

Having Financial Issues
For the longest time, I was worried about not being able to pay my bills. I still remember the only time in my life that I overdraft my bank account by eighteen euros to buy necessities and received a letter from a collection company. I had just moved to a new city and was trying to settle in. The stress I felt was immense. Having to worry about money was a theme of the first ten years of my 20-year journey. I almost left Germany because I was tired of working so hard but still lacking essential things. I promised myself that I would never let myself get back to that place after I started being more comfortable financially.

What did I learn?
  • Budgeting and building your savings are fundamental pillars of financial wellbeing

Feeling lonely and isolated
In August 2001, when I moved to Germany, it was a very nice summer. However, the fall and winter months came very quickly, and I was stuck indoors most of the time. At this time, I could not speak German and had not yet made any friends. I can still remember how lonely I felt being away from my twin sister, mum, and friends in Nigeria. The feeling of loneliness lasted for a while until I moved to stay with a friend and then my sister moved to Germany in 2003. Every time I moved to a new city, I had to recreate my social circle and felt lonely for a while. As I moved to new cities and countries, I got better at building connections faster, which helped me feel less isolated.

What did I learn?
  • Build your social network early and maintain it over time

Surviving bad relationships & friendships
I moved to Germany at a very formative time in my life. My experiences with having relationships started after a few years of being in Germany. In the beginning, it was a lot of trial and error. Growing up, I did not have a lot of positive role models who were in relationships or married. As I navigated the waters of relationships, I had some bad ones that caused emotional pain. Interestingly, there were also friendships that I had to let go of because they did not bring me joy, and I felt I was giving too much of myself.

What did I learn?
  • Choose who you spend time with carefully

Missing key family milestones and celebrations
Being far away from home, I missed key milestones like births, deaths, graduations, birthdays. I still remember crying when I celebrated my first birthday away from my Twin. We had never celebrated any birthday away from each other since we were born. In addition, I celebrated my first Christmas alone. I missed a lot of the holiday traditions that I grew up with. Spending Christmas with my cousins and enjoying great food was a thing of the past.

What did I learn?
  • Explore other ways to celebrate people even if you are not physically there and start your own holiday traditions

Having Health challenges
On New Year’s Eve in 2005, I went to the Emergency Room after being in so much pain all day. I have high pain tolerance, but this time it was different. I still remember seeing the fireworks on the bus on our way to the ER. At that point, I had no idea that the pain was caused by fibroids. I had endured severe pain for the major part of my life and did not know that it was not normal. Fast forward to 2011, I had to have a myomectomy to remove the fibroids. This was the first major surgery that I had in my life, and I was going through it alone. My sister was heavily pregnant at this time, living in a different city and could not be with me physically. I had the surgery and had a 6-week recovery time at home. Interestingly during this time, my niece was born, and I finally got my German passport.

What did I learn?
  • Take care of your body and see professionals if you do not feel well

Feeling stuck at work
With the amazing success that I had in my career especially in recent years, also came some negative experiences. In 2017, I spent a lot of time away from home, traveling for work. I was caught between enjoying the work I was doing but not feeling recognized. A year earlier, I had worked with a career coach and was more aware of my professional goals. After being passed up for a promotion that I had worked very hard for, I knew it was time for me to leave my job. It was a complex decision because my visa at that time in the US was tied to my job. This led to me feeling very stuck.

What did I learn?
  • Set professional goals and ask for what you want at

Facing Immigration challenges
As an immigrant, your ability to stay in a country is determined by someone in the immigration office. I still remember how nervous I felt every time I had to extend my visas. I was very aware that one person could decide not to extend my visa and change the course of my life. In Germany, there were requirements that I knew I had to meet to stay there. Meeting the financial requirements was one that I struggled with. At that time, you had to show that you had 400 Euros in your account every month and will not be dependent on any financial support programs. Thankfully, I was able to make it work, and my visas were extended. Fast-forward to moving to the US where my immigration status was different, I still faced some minor challenges. Although I met all the requirements, the process was less transparent and took much longer. After going through multiple immigration status changes, I still get nervous and ensure that I meet all the requirements.

What did I learn?
  • Educate yourself about the laws and requirements that you need to abide by

Feeling like I do not belong
The sense of belonging has been one major lowlight of my journey so far that has been a constant throughout. I have learned to do things that help me feel like I belong when I start feeling otherwise. For the first seven years in Germany, I could not wait to leave. Random people would ask me when I was going home and that was a steady reminder that Germany was not my home. I was mentally counting down to when I will get my degree and go back to Nigeria. After realizing that it would take me a little longer, I decided to start settling in and enjoy my life in Germany. It took me a few more years of learning what makes me feel like I belong. I stopped planning my escape and started building my home. This mindset had helped me feel at home in the US when I moved here.

What did I learn?
  • Make yourself feel at home no matter where you are

Final Thoughts
The negative experiences that I went through over the past 20 years shaped my journey and taught me many valuable lessons. Although I never want to experience the hardships again, I can now see the lessons I learned in the process.

​A Snapshot of My Story
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 1

3/8/2021

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In August 2001, I embarked on an unknown journey and boarded a flight to Germany from Nigeria. So much has happened in the 20 years since then. I have lived in about eight cities in three countries and experienced a lot. Over the month of August, I will be sharing highlights, lowlights, and lessons learned on my twenty-year relocation journey.

In this blog post, I will share ten things I am proud of accomplishing on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.

#1: Being brave and bold to start afresh in new cities and countries
I still remember the points on my journey where I had to begin a new life in a new city or country. There were times when the move came with joy, like when I moved to the US and other times when I was sad, like when I moved to Trier. In every situation, I made it work. I found what I like about my new homes and built the life I wanted there.

#2: Learning new languages, cultures, and traditions
When I moved to Germany from Nigeria, I only knew a few words of German from when I was a child. I took courses and learned enough to study in Germany. Fast forward to when I moved to the US, I wasn't really learning a new language, but I was getting to know a different culture. Now I speak four and a half languages and have learned a lot about multiple cultures. This had made me understand and empathize with people from different backgrounds even more.

#3: Always bouncing back up after setbacks
In the 20 years of living abroad, I have experienced my fair share of challenges and setbacks. The first setback that I faced was being homeless for months in my early years in Germany. Another major setback that I bounced back from was finally getting my first degree after it took much longer than expected. Looking back at those experiences, I overcame them and built a beautiful life.

#4: Becoming financially independent
I still can't believe that I moved to Germany with no money in my pocket. One thing I knew back then was that I wanted to be financially independent and build wealth. Over the past twenty years, I have prioritized my financial wellbeing and still do not compromise on my financial goals for any reason. I know what it is like to be poor to living off twenty Euros a week to where I am today. Achieving financial independence has allowed me to live a good life today.

#5: Creating my close circle of friends and social network
The people that have been in my life over the past 20 years are very dear to me. My circle is small and very precious. We have been through a lot of life experiences together and have built very deep friendships. I am very happy to have had so many amazing people on my journey.

#6: Earning my degree(s) and certificates
It took me nine years of being in Germany to get my bachelor's. In that time, I learned German, went through a university preparation course, changed the course I was studying twice. And then finally, I earned my first degree and started working. Interestingly, I went on to earn my masters which was a better journey for me. Following my Masters degree, I got multiple professional certifications. I was able to apply the lessons I learned from failing for so many years towards my continued learning Journey.

#7: Achieving professional success
Some of the moments when I was surprised about my success had a lot to do with my professional accomplishments. Often, I wonder how I got to work on big projects, partner with senior leaders and work with global teams. I know that I have put in the work, and it is great to see the great results.

#8: Traveling and seeing the World (well, part of it)
Since I was living in Germany and the US, I have had the opportunity to travel to Canada, Italy, India, UK, The Bahamas, Dubai, Singapore, Denmark, Greece, France, Luxemburg, and Switzerland. Thinking back to my childhood, I would never have imagined that I would be in places where I can see more parts of the world. Experiencing different cultures and seeing the beauty has been one of my favorite parts of the past 20 years.

#9: Giving back to others
One of the things that makes me grateful for my journey is that I have enough, have attained success, and can give back to my community. I am a strong believer in the power of giving back and pouring into other people's lives. The opportunities to speak to first-generation immigrant students, coach women, mentor people, and financially support people gives me a lot of satisfaction.

#10: Building our home and having an amazing family
When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could not even imagine what my life would be like 20 years down the road. Today I have my own family with my two favorite boys - my husband and our son. Everything that I experienced has helped me see what really matters and build my amazing life.

Final Thoughts
Reflecting on my journey has been very therapeutic for me. I have been through a lot and have not yet shared a lot. I am excited to share my story with you. In my next blog post, I will focus on the lowlights of my journey so far.
​
A Snapshot of My Story
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    Marie-Christin Anthony
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