When I think back on my 18-year relocation journey, I am very grateful to all the great people I met along the way. My story would not be complete without these people. Reflecting on my journey, I have learned the art of building and re-building my personal and professional community.
Fun Fact: This week in 2001, I left Nigeria to embark on this journey. I had no idea where I will be in 18 years. Read more of my story in the "Her Relocation" blog posts. In this blog post, I will share my experience with communities while I lived in Nigeria, Germany and the US, the five types of communities everyone should have on their relocation journey as well as strategies to help you build them. MC's Story In my first year in Germany, I lived in a small village with about 1000 people. Until then, I lived in Kaduna, Nigeria, which was a large city with over 6 million people. One of the biggest challenges I faced was that I missed my community. Growing up, I had family, friends who were an essential part of my day to day life. I had not thought about the impact of losing my community and having to build one from scratch. It took me about two long years to build my community in Germany. They became a very crucial part of my life in Germany. Even when I moved to different cities, I was able to find new people and stay connected with my great community. Moving to the US and leaving my German community behind was challenging. At this time, I was in a phase in my life where I needed to focus more on building my professional community. As I was new to the country, I had to start by learning about the professional culture and then connecting with people in my field. 5 types of communities everyone needs The communities and networks that helped me be successful on my relocation journey include the following: Your "Taste of Home" These are the people that help keep you connected to your home country or remind you of home. Personally, I connected with great people from other African countries in Germany. This group of people understood my experiences and were able to provide some comfort. A lot of my favorite memories were around us trying to find ingredients to make some African dishes we enjoyed. I met most of them in unconventional places like the bus or train station. Strategies to consider
Your "Integrators" Especially if you recently relocated, you will need people who help introduce you to your new home country. They are there to help you adjust to your new life and share knowledge of what it takes to succeed in your new country. I did a better job of ensuring I had more of these people in my community when I moved to the US. My integration into my local community was easier with the help of my "integrators." Strategies to consider
Your Professional Networks In my experience, this is typically a community that we forget to build early when we move to a new city or country. Especially if you are in your early or mid-career, you need to prioritize building your professional community. It is a continuous process that you want to continue as you grow and transition in your career. Within my first months in the US, I joined the Project Management Institute local chapter. It helped me meet great professionals in my space and provide insights into the US professional culture. Strategies to consider
Your Passion Groups Remember that it is vital to continue to grow different aspects of your life. If you have hobbies or a passion project, you want to connect with people who share your interests. This group of people will help you find balance and not lose yourself. I started building these networks about two years into being in the US. My social and professional networks were set before I started looking for people that were working on similar dreams as mine. I decided to start Mastermind groups because I wanted to provide this community for others as well. Strategies to consider
Your "Philanthropic" Community To feel fulfilled in your life, you need to give back to your community as well. Identify the group of people whom you want to give back to. There are a lot of female students, the less privileged, job seekers, or professional women who can benefit from your knowledge and expertise. My community in the US has offered me many opportunities to give back. I enjoy speaking at universities, volunteering at events, and mentoring young women. It is essential for me to not only receive from my community but also give back. Strategies to consider
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Making a new city or country your home is a huge task. Some things are easy to adjust to; then other things take a longer time to accept while others you never adapt to. I have been on a journey to explore what those are for me.
Over the past year and a half, I have been sharing my experience living in different countries as part of the Her relocation series. The fantastic conversations I have had with other women who have similar experiences motivates me to reflect and share more. In this blog post, I will share some of the things that I am still adjusting to and the ones I have accepted that I may never adapt to. The list ranges from food, language, culture and more. #1: The Food When I lived in Germany, I missed Nigerian food and had to find a way to cook some of my favorite dishes. Now I am in the US, and I miss German bread. It seems to be the norm; when I move to a new country, I still miss the different dishes I enjoyed in my other home countries. #2: The Sayings or Adages Especially when you are learning a new language, one of the last things you connect to are sayings in the new language. Often it is not that you don't understand them, it's because your brain doesn't automatically make the connection. I find myself still trying to decode German sayings and thinking to myself - why do they say that?. #3: The Local Dialects or Accents It takes a while to learn a new language. After you have mastered it, you then start hearing new accents or dialects spoken in different parts of the country. Even after 14 years, I was still discovering new words German dialects and getting used to different accents. And now I am exploring the multiple accents in the US. #4: The Music Although I lived in Germany for 14 years, German folk music is still a mystery to me. When I'm in a celebration or sentimental mood, I go to Nigerian music. The warm feeling I get when I hear songs from my childhood is indescribable. Over the years living in different countries, I had added some other genres of music to my repertoire. However, Nigerian music is still home to me. #5: The Stories or Historical references Given that I spent my childhood in Nigeria, I am very unfamiliar with German or American historical references. Often when I am in conversations, and people make references I don't know or understand, I ask clarifying questions. #6: The Stores If you know me, you know that I'm a huge fan of ALDI, a great grocery store in Germany. I shopped there nearly every week for 14 years. It got to a stage where I knew the store very well and noticed if they rearranged the store or added a new product to their stores. I had to provide some deep context to drive home to point. After four years and many new stores to explore in the US, I still miss grocery shopping in Germany. I'll give it ten more years and see if I adapt to the stores in the US. #7: The Holidays and Celebrations I should start by saying I am very grateful for having time off. With 4th of July holiday this week, I am reminded of the fact that this is a new holiday for me. Apart from enjoying the sun, what else do we do? Also, some of the holidays observed have very interesting traditions that are foreign to me. #8: The Measurement System Ok, this one is specific to living in a country like the US that chooses to use a different measurement system. After being in the US for over four years, I still can't figure out the temperature in Fahrenheit or the weight in pounds or distance in miles. I have gotten to a place where I memorize the conversion to the values I use often. #9: The Weather When I moved to the bay area, I was confused about the fact that it doesn't rain in summer. Almost everywhere I have lived, summer has been the major rain months. I have grown to enjoy the cooling rain after a very hot day in Cologne. Rain showers are a part of a great summer for me. However, that's not the case here. I keep waiting for the rain, and I'm reminded that I have to wait until winter. #10: The People Although I am very happy to be where I am today, I still miss my family and close friends in Germany. The most challenging part is missing key milestones and experiences. I have learned to make use of technology and other ways to stay connected with the people I care about. Call to Action What are some of the things you are still getting used to? Final Thoughts
After years of living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US, I am celebrating all the lessons I have learned so far. The objective of this post is to appreciate lessons I learned from the good and not so good experiences that I have had.
This post continues my Her relocation series, where I share about my life in Nigeria, Germany and the US. In this post, I will share the top three lessons I learned in each of the Countries I lived in. To see a quick summary of my relocation journey, check out my video. 3 Lessons I learned living in Nigeria I spent my early childhood until the age of 15 in Kaduna, Nigeria. Some of the lessons I learned include: #1: Enjoy good food At any moment, you can ask me the types of snacks or meals I enjoyed in Nigeria, and I will have a quick response. I am delighted that I got to experience delicious Nigerian food. I think very fondly on the times I spent with my family enjoying and exploring native dishes. Even after living in other countries for a long time, I still cook and enjoy great Nigerian food. #2: Care for people The importance of the family unit and relationships is one that is emphasized in Nigeria. The values I learned around caring for people is one that has influenced my personal and professional life. Being able to connect with people and be warm has helped me, especially as I build new social networks. #3: Celebrate your culture Growing up, I enjoyed the days when we got to wear Nigerian attire to school. Being able to see all my friends represent the different parts of Nigeria made me appreciate our cultural heritage. Now when I see people celebrating their culture, it makes me proud of my cultural identity as well. 3 Lessons I learned living in Germany Living in Germany during my late teens and early adulthood, I learned many valuable lessons that formed my character and identity. Some of the lessons I learned were: #1: Be independent Being comfortable on my own and not depending on others was a very valuable lesson I learned in Germany. I learned how not to need people but to want them in my life. Being the owner of my happiness and driver of my destiny was huge for me. I wouldn't be where I am today in my personal growth if I didn't learn to be independent. #2: Use your voice One of the first things that impressed me in Germany was how comfortable people were with sharing their unpopular opinions. It was more about speaking up rather than worrying about what people thought about it. I learned to be very outspoken in Germany. I went on a journey of finding myself, what I care about, and then sharing it. The freedom to speak my mind was one that helped me grow into who I am today. #3: Be disciplined Some of the values I learned in Germany include keeping your commitments and being consistent. These principles guide me in everything I do today. If I give you my word or make a plan to complete a task, I make sure I do it. The discipline I learned has helped me achieve my personal goals. 3 Lessons I learned living in the US In the last 4,5 years living in the Bay Area, I have experienced immense personal and professional growth. Some of the lessons I learned are: #1: Dream Big and live out your dreams In my previous blog posts, I shared how I found the courage to start my business after I moved to California. Seeing other people start their businesses and hear their stories inspired me to take the leap. The freedom to try out ideas and search for what works is definitely promoted here. #2: Take a break and do something fun I was amazed at how much people would do over the weekend and share on Monday. To be honest, this is a lesson I am still learning. I'm slowly getting better at making time to do things that I enjoy. There are so many fun things to do in the sun here. #3: Talk about yourself and your achievements Before I moved to the US, I was convinced that my work would speak for itself. Over the past four years, I have learned the importance of celebrating my achievements and talking about them. The more I talk about my accomplishments the more I appreciate my journey. Call to Action What lessons have you learned on your journey so far? Celebrate your learnings. Final Thoughts
Am I Nigerian, German or even American?
For the longest time when people asked me about my cultural identity, I did not know what to respond. The simple question "where are you from?" left me wondering and uncertain. At this point in my life, I have lived in Germany, Nigeria and now in the US. When I started sharing my story as part of my Her relocation blog posts, I received a lot of questions and comments that helped me reflect on my journey. One of the questions that stuck with me was "‘at what point does one stop being an immigrant?". This spoke to the most profound feeling of belonging and identity that I had battled with for a long time. In this post, I will share a little bit of my experience and the five lessons I learned about my cultural identity over the past 18 years living in three countries. MC's Journey My cultural identity has always been a topic of discussion. Initially, I laughed at the questions and did not think much about it. However, the questions increased with my most recent move. I needed to spend some time thinking about how I define my cultural identity. The first time I ever used the phrase German-Nigerian to describe myself was when I moved to the US. While I lived in Germany, I identified as Nigerian which is interesting given my mixed heritage. I wonder if I will become German-Nigerian-American when I move to my next country. On my exploration journey, some of the questions I asked myself were?
I once heard the phrase from an Asian lady who said her background is Asian, but her culture is black, based on where she grew up in LA. This was the best way I had ever heard someone speak about their cultural identity. For me, my food culture is Nigerian, and my professional culture is German. I am smiling as I write this. Over the years, I have learned that being multi-cultural is an asset, not a weakness. I make it a priority not to let anyone talk about it as a disadvantage. Yes I have an interesting accent, yeah I look different, and I absolutely can't be put in a cultural box. This is what makes me unique. Lessons I learned about my cultural identity In my 18-years of living in Germany and the US, I learned the following about whom I identify as. #1: You define your identity People around you will try to define your cultural identity based on how you look or sound. However, the real person that determines your identity is you. Choose what feels right to you. #2: Your identity will change The experiences you have in the different countries you live in will influence you. Accept the evolution of your identity. This will help you avoid identity crisis and feel comfortable with who you are. #3: You will feel out of place (sometimes) We go through phases of feeling like we do not belong in the country we are in. Sometimes it happens because of a negative experience. I want you to know that feeling out of place from time to time is perfectly normal. #4: You will see different sides of identity Different parts of your identity will be highlighted in different countries or situations that you face. Adapt to your environment and put your best foot forward. Choosing to show one side more does not make you become less of the other side of you. #5: You will need to inform others about what you identify as Often, people decide they know my identity by judging my looks or accent. I make it a point to let people know more about my cultural background and Identity. If you don't inform them, you can't be upset when they misidentify you. Final Thoughts
Call to Action What is your cultural identity? Celebrate your multi-cultural identity. Check out my previous posts on my relocation story living in Germany and the US. While I was reflecting on my first 4 years in the US, a few things came up that I still don't fully understand. In the post, I'll be sharing some "special" things about living in the US. I'm building on my previous post 10 things I wish someone told me before I moved to the US.
This is a fun post. I needed a good laugh. And so you know - I have been having a great time so far in the US, I just feel like there are a few things that we need to address. Am I the only one the feels this way? #1: Why is there always some sports events on TV? I wonder when the sports seasons start and end. It seems like there is some sporting event ongoing all the time. From American football to basketball to baseball and all others. There is definitely an excess of sports compared to Germany where the Bundesliga takes breaks in summer and winter. #2: Where are all the good bakeries? On some days all I want is a delicate slice of cake or hearty German bread. All of which cannot easily be found here. You may think this is trivial, but after four years I am still looking for my favorite Bakery. Living in Germany spoilt me with all the great bakeries on every street corner. #3: How can you say something is a "world" event when it's only celebrated in the US? Let me just start with "World series for Baseball" - who is the world referenced here? Recently people were talking about an event that happened in the US that the whole world heard about – and my response was "I was in Germany, and I didn't hear about it." I make it a point to remind people the US is large but not the world. #4: What do these sports metaphors mean? If you use a sports metaphor in a meeting, you are assuming we all have the same background and enjoy sports and much as you do. Does hitting a home run mean our project is successful or that we are running around the field. I smile every time someone expects me to understand a sports metaphor. In my defense I know - "it’s a goooalllll" means we are winning. #5: When will banking be brought to the new digital age? :) All banking transactions should be available online including International transfers, and bank transfers should be instant within the same bank at least. If I have to fill out a paper form for a bank transaction, you lose me. I still don't get the concepts of cheques. Every time I get a cheque I feel clueless. #6: Why is this country so big? In my four years here, I have visited only 4 of the 50 states. I wonder if I will ever be able to visit all the states. California on its own is so big and provides a variety of things to see. I'm blessed to live where I do, and I want to see it all. I just don't know how. #7: Why is the milk jug that big? This one is on this list, most likely because we are a two-person household. I'm still shocked when I see the size of the milk jug in the stores. I always wonder who is able to drink a whole gallon of Milk. I'm more comfortable with the one-liter packs. Don't get me started on the size of grapes or apples here. #8: Why does the University you went to matter? Especially since I studied in Germany, I really can't contribute to conversations about colleges or universities. I wonder if the knowledge and experiences you gathered should matter more than where you got trained. Especially with the recent events in the news, it may help for us to get to a place where it no longer matters. #9: Why don't we use universal metrics? It should be easy for me to tell you the temperature. No, it's not that easy if temperatures in Fahrenheit mean nothing to you. I am comfortable telling people the temperature in Celsius and letting them convert for me real time. Knowing miles versus kilometers is one I thing I can get the hang of. However, pounds versus grams is one I still have to think about every time I buy meat. #10: Why do political campaigns take so long? When I moved here in early 2015, the campaigns were just kicking off for the 2016 election. I was sure the elections were in Nov 2015 because of how many conversations were being had. And now it's all happening again. Politicians are touring the country with about 22 months to the 2020 elections. It is all in my face 24/7 and I don't even get to vote here. Final Thoughts
Call to Action What are some things you don't understand about the place or culture you live in? Continuing my relocation story with year 2 and 3 in the US. The theme of this phase was "shaking my foundation and new beginnings." A few weeks ago I completed my fourth year in the US. Looking back I'm amazed at how quickly time has gone by. While my focus in the first three years was getting settled, situated in my new home and growing my career, in year four I made a significant professional change.
In this post, I will share my experiences, learnings, and insights in my fourth year of living in the US. If you missed the first three years of my journey, read My Life in the US - Year 1 and My life in the US - Year 2 and 3 posts. Going back home to Nigeria Earlier last year, I traveled back to Nigeria. After living in Germany and now in the US, my life has changed a lot since I moved from Nigeria in 2001. In my three weeks there, I enjoyed great Nigerian food and reconnected with family I had not seen in years. Read more about my experience in my blog post. My trip to Nigeria after 12 years. Going back home to Germany In addition to going back to Nigeria, I also attended a family event in Germany. Spending a week in Saarbrucken a city I spent my first years in Germany brought back many memories. I had not spent this much time in Saarbrucken since I moved away in 2007. Showing my family my favorite pasta, kebab and breakfast spot was amazing. I was shocked at how much I remembered about a city I spent six formative years in. Politics impacting my real life When I started my journey in Germany as a student, dealing with visa applications was a very regular part of my life. Moreover, here I was again after 17 years of living in different countries; I had to make some changes. Being a legal immigrant working in the US, I was made aware of how policies that the government makes affects me. I've been blessed not to have any huge issues. Growing my business One of the things I have valued the most about living in the bay area is the idea of "you can do anything." This mindset helped me take a bold step and start my blog and business. There is something electrifying about being surrounded by other entrepreneurs who share their experiences and knowledge. Living in Germany, I am not sure I would have been bold enough to make such a big move. Exploring my new home Even after three great years, there were still somethings I had not yet experienced. I had the opportunity to travel more and enjoy California more. This is really one of the greatest places I have lived from the perspective of nature. In addition to traveling a little more, I also explored the sports culture by going to see my first basketball game. Growing my network and community Thinking back on last year, I was able to build my local network both professionally and for my business. I attended a lot of events and trainings that helped me expand my network. Meeting great women and business owners broadened my perspective. As I think back on one of the most exceptional experiences I have had so far in the US, it would have to be building a network of people who encourage you to do the big things you dream about. Interviewing process As someone who has interviewed for Jobs in Germany and now in the US, I can definitely say there is a huge difference. I interviewed at four great companies on my quest to find a new job. Going through the preparation process and interviewing helped me be more confident about my skills and professional experiences. I had the opportunity to introduce myself professionally to about sixteen people. Interviewing in the US has a huge component of self-marketing which I had to learn to succeed. Starting a new job Professionally, I made a significant change last year. After being with the same company in Germany for eight years in total and in my first three years in the US, the time came for me to join a new company. I have learned a lot through the process of starting a new job in the US. As with every new thing we start, there have been a mix of good and bad experiences as well as many learnings. Top 10 Lessons learned Over the four years of my relocation journey to the US, I have learned so many valuable lessons, that I would like to share with you.
Final Thoughts
Call to Action What is the biggest lesson you have learned living in a new country? Reflect on your experiences, document your lessons learned and share them Continuing the Her Relocation series, with some of the lessons I learned working in Germany and now in the US. As I reflect, I realize that the countries I have lived and worked in have influenced my career in significant ways. My portfolio and skill set are very diverse. Which I'm now learning is one of my unique selling propositions.
Looking back, I appreciate the opportunity to have started my career in Germany and continued my journey in the US. The combination of all my experiences has helped me achieve great career success. In this blog post, I'll share some of the professional lessons I learned so far. Lesson #1: Be culturally aware My experience as an immigrant and working with people from diverse cultures prepared me to manage global projects. Learning from some of my negative experiences, I appreciate and respect diversity. Building inclusive teams where everyone feels valued is a priority for me. Lesson #2: Gather knowledge and learn new skills In Germany, I learned the value of setting a solid foundation with theoretical knowledge. Early in my career, I got a project management certification, and since then I have continued to keep my skills fresh. This has helped set me apart and prepare me for the big tasks I have worked on. Lesson #3: Promote yourself A valuable lesson I learned working in the US is that it is not enough to do great work - You need to talk about it. Initially, I struggled with talking about the great work I was doing. After observing my peers do an amazing job talking about their experiences, I started working on finding a way that worked for me. Honestly, I'm still learning and practicing self-promotion. Lesson #4: Your relationship with your co-workers matters We spend a significant amount of time with our co-workers. I learned the value of taking a proactive approach to building a relationship with my team when I moved to the US. Partly because I was a new member of the team. Spending time getting to know my team members on a more personal level helped me integrate into the team well. Lesson #5: Move and re-invent yourself Typically, in Germany people stay at a company for a very long time. Working in the US changed my perspective, it's ok to move around and re-invent yourself. I now see starting new jobs or changing roles as a normal part of my professional journey. Lesson #6: Be organized and structured Especially as a program manager, being very organized has many benefits. With everything that I juggle and manage concurrently, it is essential for me to be structured. I like to say I enjoy to bring structure to chaotic situations. Lesson #7: Plan for flexibility One of the most significant changes for me, when I moved to the US, was the need to adapt to changes very often. I was used to having some changes on the projects I led. However, I was not prepared for the level of flexibility I would need to accept and plan for in the US. Adaptability and agility were skills I needed to learn very quickly. Lesson #8: Know your worth and ask for what you want At the time when I moved to the US, I didn't feel empowered to voice my needs and ask for what I was worth. I learned valuable skills from observing others, reading books and learning how to think about myself more. The first lesson I learned was that if I don't know what I'm worth, I'll never ask for it or get what I deserve. Lesson #9: Build your professional network/community Since my move to the US in 2015, I have attended so many events and joined some great professional groups. Thinking back, I started questioning how I went through my career in Germany without building my network. Lesson #10: Do good work and let your work speak for you Doing great work is a lesson that I learned as a child. My skills were honed and refined in Germany. The quality of the work you do speaks on your behalf. I learned many valuable techniques for ensuring I did great work when I worked in Germany. Lesson #11: Think big in your career The concept of setting aspirational career goals was amplified in the US. Striving to do things and take steps that don't feel entirely logical was a valuable lesson I learned. Not limiting myself or being extremely logical about all of my career moves, is the only reason that I'm where I am today. Lesson #12: Share your knowledge and expertise Both Germany and the US have contributed to my passion for sharing my experience. I enjoy the different opportunities I have to share my knowledge and learn from others. Final Thoughts
Call to Action What countries have you worked in and what valuable career lessons have you learned? Please share with your community and me. Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to travel back home to Nigeria. When I left Nigeria in 2001, I never expected that I would only be back twice in seventeen years. As I write this post, I still can't believe it took me so long to go back to my original home country. I spent three beautiful weeks in the country that gave me a great childhood where I lived for fifteen years.
On this trip, I spent time in Abuja and Calabar, two cities that were new to me. The primary purpose of my trip was to celebrate my friend's marriage. I experienced many firsts on this visit. In this blog post, I'll take you on a reflective journey of my trip to Nigeria after twelve long years. How did I prepare? In the months coming up to the trip, we spent time thinking of small things we could do to make the trip special. We created a list of food and snacks that we wanted to enjoy. It was essential for us to reserve something fun for ourselves. I can report that we were successful with the food goals we set. What was my first impression? Going back, it almost felt like I was in a new country. After a very long journey with the best travel companion ever, I was very excited to be in Abuja. The airport ordeals were very familiar. The additional luggage and immigration checks we had to endure, reminded me of past experiences. Also, hearing people speak Hausa made me feel at home immediately. What were my highlights? Spending time with my mum as an adult was very special. Until then, I had not spent longer than a few days with my mum over the last twelve years. We learned a lot about one another. Another highlight was experiencing my friend's wedding. This was the first Nigerian wedding I was very involved with. There were many valuable lessons learned to say the least. What surprised me the most? Nigeria is a very different place from the country I left seventeen years ago. Globalization is very evident. It feels like almost everything is available now. Staying connected was much easier than I remembered. What was the same? I still felt at home with family and friends. Being able to enjoy meals with family and close friends whom I hadn't seen in many years was special. Not that I had any doubts, but the food was as amazing as I remembered. I enjoyed sugar cane, furah, waina, and some fantastic suya. What was very different? The last time I visited Nigeria, I was twenty years old trying to find my place in the world. On this trip, I became more aware of how my perspective of what is important to me has changed. I was able to navigate uncomfortable situations better and enjoy the small good things even more. What did I enjoy the most? The simplicity of life in Nigeria was a welcome break from my life now. Partly because I was on vacation and not working, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I was constantly reminded of the importance of enjoying life and being present in the moment. What didn't go so well? The story won’t be complete if I don’t mention the not so good things I witnessed during my visit. The main thing I didn't enjoy was the pressure to be married. Especially from extended family members, I met. There was detailed questioning about when I was going to get married. I attempted to redirect questions to share the fact that I was happy with where I was in life and very successful. I'm hopeful that we can change the view of what the vision of success is for a Nigerian woman. What do I wish I did? The two and a half weeks I spent went by too quickly. I would have loved to visit Kaduna, the city I grew up in. That's definitely on my list for my next visit with my sister. Hopefully, my next trip would be in less than twelve years :) What was the most embarrassing experience? There was a common theme of these moments. Meeting people who knew me but I could not recognize them or remember their names. Am I the only one who doesn’t recall everyone they met more than seventeen years ago? What was my most significant learning? On this trip, I was reminded of the importance of the people in our lives. I enjoyed reconnecting with people I haven't seen in many years and building new memories with my special companion. Final Thoughts In my recent blog post How growing up in Nigeria prepared me for life, I summarized the top 10 principles Nigeria taught me that prepared me for life. Let's wrap this post with the principles that were confirmed on my trip
Read more of my journey as part of the "Her Relocation" series. Recently at an event, I shared my story and how I celebrate my two cultures - Nigerian and German. From when I was eighteen months old to the age of fifteen, I lived in Kaduna, a lovely city in northern Nigeria.
I am continuing my journey with this appreciation of a country that taught me a lot and contributed to who I am today. In this blog post, I will share the top 10 principles Nigeria taught me that prepared me well for life. #1: Appreciate your community I grew up in a mid-sized extended family and a large community. I have so many lovely memories with people I'm related to and others that were very close to my family. Often, I wasn’t sure who was a blood relative versus a very close family friend. The saying that it takes a village to raise a child was very evident in the way I grew up. #2: Work with what you have From observing the people around me growing up, I learned to be very resourceful. The concept of making the best with the resources that were available is one that I fully embody today. I know that I have something that can be used to make bigger things. #3: Enjoy good food My fondest childhood memories are associated to meals with my close and extended family. The times we spent together bonding over meals are engraved in my mind. Till today, I still love to cook and eat with my loved ones and friends. Nigerian food is definitely my go-to food. #4: Be kind to everyone In Kaduna where I grew up, almost everyone was connected in some way. We knew that if we met someone, we had to be nice to them because we never knew when our paths might cross again. On my journey so far, being kind and respectful has opened many doors and connected me to great people. #5: Share what you have The ability to share with people around me is one that I learned from the great examples I observed. Growing up, many people were open to sharing food, space, knowledge, and experiences. Seeing the sacrifices others made for me, I’m happy to share with people around me today. #6: Laugh a lot My smile and laughter are deeply rooted in my Nigerian upbringing. When I think back to my favorite moments growing up, there was a lot of laughter. One thing I carefully guard today is my happiness. #7: Celebrate life events It seemed like there was always a party or celebration around us. Whether it was births, weddings, graduations, birthdays, there were many occasions and reasons to celebrate. In my life today, I have translated this principle into celebrating achievements as much as I can. #8: Appreciate diversity Growing up in Kaduna, I had the unique opportunity to be surrounded by people from different regions of Nigeria. I learned how to respect different languages, food, religions and cultural norms. Going on to live in different countries, I have been able to build upon the solid foundation I had. #9: Be positive and hopeful As I make progress in life, I appreciate the lesson I learned about being hopeful. My faith continuously fuels my aspiration for a better future and hope that everything will work out for good. #10: Be a strong woman In my family and community, many strong women worked hard to cater to their families. They were a core inspiration for the woman I am today. I'm very fortunate to have had some great role models in my life. Final Thoughts
Continuing my relocation story, with year 2 and 3 in the US. The theme of this phase was learning and developing especially professionally and financially. Looking back on this time in my life, I can see the immense growth and learning that I experienced. While my focus in year one was getting settled and situated in my new home, in year two and three, I was able to focus on other parts of my life such as my career. There were many firsts and doing things I never thought I ever would.
In this post, I will share my experiences, learnings, and insights from my second and third year of living in the US. If you missed the first year, read my previous post My Life in the US - Year 1. Settling into my new life By my second year in the US, I started feeling more at home. Compared to my experience in Germany, I felt more settled in a very short time. The fact that there was no language barrier was a huge win. Also, not being alone here was great for my transition. Looking back, I'm very grateful that it didn't take seven years to feel at home like in Germany. Learning and professional development At this stage in my career, it was crucial for me to expand my knowledge and improve my skills. I was ready to grow my career and take on new responsibilities. Taking classes at UC Berkeley extension provided me not only new knowledge but also budding professional network. I learned what was necessary for professional success in the US. Growing my finances Moving to the US helped me increase my income. This new phase created the need for me to educate myself of ways to grow my finances. It's been an exciting journey learning more about managing my wealth. I was already proficient in the basics of financial management, so I needed to concentrate on the next level which was investing and making wise money choices. I'm still exploring and learning more about financial planning. Making new connections Attending events and courses helped me grow my professional network a lot. As I was new in the US, being able to learn from other people's experiences was important to me. I'm still in regular contact with some of the great people I met during this time. Building a new community has been a continuous task on my relocation journey. Staying connected to my family and friends Especially when you live so far away from your family, it is crucial to stay connected to the people that matter the most to you. I have been extremely fortunate to keep in contact with my niece who is growing up very quickly. The communication tools that are now available are amazing. Staying in touch with my family and friends was a very crucial part of me feeling at home in the US. Visiting Germany After being in the US for two and a half years, I finally visited Germany for my Niece's first day of school. The first thing I did when I landed in Frankfurt was to buy a pretzel. Speaking German and knowing where everything was, made me feel at home again. I missed being in Germany where I had lived for fourteen years. Interestingly, on this trip, I discovered that you could feel at home in multiple places at once. Preparing for new roles My career grew exponentially in my third year. I made it a priority to say yes to new projects and roles. Often, I stoped to assess how far I had come and how incredibly grateful I was for the opportunities I had been given and accepted. Looking back, I'm delighted to have worked on some amazing projects and learned so much. Exploring new cities and countries Travel used to be a very stressful experience for me. So, when the opportunity to travel for work came, I wasn't too pleased. However, I decided to take this opportunity to learn how to make travel work for me. Traveling provided me with the excellent opportunity to explore more places in the US and new countries. Looking back, I have great memories of my adventures. Making time for things that matter The greatest lesson I learned was the importance of finding time for the things that matter the most in my life. With everything I was doing, I neglected some key relationships and self-care. Thankfully, I was able to rebuild relationships and take care of myself more before it was too late. Now, I set boundaries around the things that matter the most. Rekindling my passion Living in the US provided a safe space for exploring ways to make my dreams a reality. Seeing people live out their dreams and passions motivated me to go back to the things I always wanted to do but didn't think I could. For the longest time I thought about starting my coaching business and launch my blog. In 2017, I finally believed that I could and took the first step. Top 10 Tips and Lessons Over the three first years of my relocation journey to the US, I have learned so many valuable lessons, that I would like to share with you.
Final Thoughts
In early 2015, my relocation journey continued with a move to the United States. Specifically, to the Bay area in northern California. I expected that my experience would be similar to my life in Germany. Looking back, I can confirm that no relocation experience is the same. However, we get to apply our learnings from previous journeys.
I have been living in the US for three and a half years now. As with all relocation journeys, there are good, bad and ugly. In this post, I will continue my relocation story. Starting with my first year in the US. Over the next months as part of the "My Life in the US" series, I will tell my story in the following phases:
What made this relocation different? The significant differences with my relocation to the US were that I had a Job, a partner and I was older and more mature. Often, I ask myself how I handled the transition to Germany at age fifteen. Why did I decide to relocate to the US? My honest answer is that I moved for “Love.” Germany had treated me very well, and I wasn't planning to leave any time soon. Some external factors and my career influenced the exact timing of the move. Preparing for the move In November 2014, I began making plans to move. By February I had a project and was relocating to the US. Thinking back, I now know that two months of planning is not enough time. As everything happened so quickly, I didn't have the time to plan out my relocation and settling into my new home. So many forms to fill Living in Germany where I had filled a form for every single official transaction, I thought I was prepared for filling my immigration forms for the US. Nothing could have prepared me for the mass forms I would have to fill out. Having to submit the same information repeatedly has become the norm. I feel like I'm an expert now. Building a new community My friends and family play a very significant role in my life. I have come to learn the value of also having a small local community. Luckily, I inherited my partner's social network in the beginning. Not having to start from scratch was very helpful. It made my experience in the US great from a social perspective. Say my full name I learned very quickly that my name was difficult to remember. People would always ask - what other name do you go by? At the beginning my response was - I only go by Marie-Christin. Often, I got called "Marie-Christian", "Marie-Claire" and many other names. I adapted to the new culture by allowing people to call me "MC" and it works well. Lack of guidance, structure or efficiencies Very soon after my relocation, I faced some difficulty understanding how basic needs like health Insurance and banking worked in the US. Every task seemed complex and inefficient. Things took much longer than I expected which caused a lot of disappointment and stress. Here, I definitely know that Germany spoiled me. My solution is to plan a lot of lead time for any tasks and practice patience. Land of dreams When I moved to California, I was impressed by how open people were to taking a step into the unknown boldly. Coming from Germany where you only did work you were qualified for, it was liberating to see people try new things. It inspired me to revisit some of my dreams and believe they can become a reality. I'm very far away I thought the distance between Germany and Nigeria was a lot until I moved to California. Now every country where I have family and friends is geographically far away. Technology has helped me keep in close contact with my family and friends. I'm now an expert in online communication and staying connected to people that matter. Professional cultural differences My assumption that project management is almost the same globally was very wrong. Of course, the fundamental principles are the same. However, I quickly discovered that I would need to adapt my style to the new culture in the US. The way I approached planning and communicating was met with some resistance. I didn't want to change who I was, but I had to learn to find a middle point to make my team and clients happy. Top 10 Learnings
Final Thoughts
On August 9, 2001, I embarked on a journey that will change the course of my life forever. This week, I’m celebrating 17 years on my relocation journey. About four months ago, I started writing about My life in Germany. Reflecting on my story has empowered me and given me a great appreciation for how I got to where I am today. It has been a great learning experience for me. I am very proud of all my achievements, failures, learnings and experiences.
In this post, I will summarize my highlights, learnings and share tips for everyone on a similar journey. When I started telling my story, I had three objectives - to remind myself of some of the challenges I overcame, to support other women who are on a similar journey and share tips, learn from one another to succeed on our relocation journey. I am delighted that I have been able to achieve these objectives and much more. What did I learn about myself? We keep hearing about how reflection provides you with power for the future. I must say, I am now a believer. Three things that I learned about myself during my reflection include:
Highlights from my Journey To summarize my story, here are some personal highlights. Year 1 and 2
10 things I wish someone told me before I moved to Germany
Top 10 tips Summarizing the greatest lessons I learned on my journey that could help you too.
Final Thoughts/Outlook Thanks for coming with me on this reflection journey of my life in Germany. In 2015, my relocation journey took me to the US. Watch out for "My life in the US: Year 1" story. Follow my developing relocation story as part of the Her Relocation series. Your support & kind words When I started telling my story, I had no idea what types of doors it'll open to me. The feedback I received was above my expectation. As a symbol of my appreciation and I want to share some quotes with you.
“The change you experience on your journey helps you grow. ” – MC I’m excited to continue my relocation story with chapter 4 of the “My life in Germany” series. My theme for this phase was "Ok, it's not that bad. I can live and thrive here." At this point in my journey, I started feeling at home in Germany and discovered some ways to expand my perspective. There were a lot of firsts and growth moments for me.
In this post, I'll continue sharing some of my experiences in year 11 to 14. If you missed my previous posts in the "My Life in Germany" series, you could read about Year 1 - 3, Year 3 -5 and Year 6 -10. Studying and working The discipline and time management skills I learned while working full time and studying for my master’s has brought me very far. For the two and a half years until I completed my course in 2013, I had to prioritize my education over my social life and find balance with work. I enjoyed my study time at home or the University library in Cologne. There was something about being around so many learners that encouraged me to study more. Though it was tough to study and work full-time, my motivation was clear - I was working towards a degree that will support my professional journey. Expanding my community After being in Cologne for a little over a year, my community started growing and diversifying. I had a great group of ladies at work and in my private life who were my companions in this phase. The real friends I had supported me through the growth phases of my life. Although I wasn't always able to be an active part of my community, they understood and worked with me. Having a support system that grows and changes with you is essential. Achieving financial stability At this phase in my journey, I was earning a stable income. Becoming more financially savvy was an essential task for me. Firstly, I worked on growing my savings. Then I learned how to budget better and plan some flexibility for fun. Building a great foundation and learning through the process helped me achieve financial goals like pay for the master’s program I wanted. Traveling and exploring new places Over time, I had the opportunity to explore more countries and cities. Going on vacation became a part of my life. I went for my first cruise to the Bahamas and saw the most beautiful blue water I had seen in my life. Multiple, visits to California to see a special someone was also part of my travel experiences. I was also able to discover some beautiful countries in Europe - Greece will remain my favorite. Also, being able to explore Germany a little more, helped me appreciate the great country I was living in. I wish I traveled a little more and enjoyed time off. Enjoying my life A valuable lesson I learned in this phase of my life was to start enjoying life a little more. I know the definition of enjoying life differs for everyone. My interpretation was making time for myself, splurging on things I enjoyed from time to time, making time for myself and spending time with my family and friends. I had gotten so used to working multiple jobs, working full-time, studying and working, being so busy that I forgot how to put up my feet up and enjoy my life. As I write this, I can hear the voices of my friends who never gave up on me and kept encouraging me to have more fun. Developing my Career As part of my growth journey, growing in my career was a big part of this phase. I invested a lot in learning new project management skills, getting certified and learning from other project managers in my community. The size and complexity of the projects I led, increased with time. I was able to grow through mastering new challenges in my professional life. Managing more people and multiple teams helped me improve my people skills as well. I recently looked at my old Career orientation plan and saw how I achieved my goals and learned to accept change. Thinking back, these years were formative years for my career. Celebrating another World cup Especially as the current world cup is in full force, I have been reflecting on where I was during the previous world cups. In 2014, I spent time watching the games in Germany and the US as I was on vacation for part of the world cup. Something was new this time; I was supporting both Nigeria and Germany in the world cup. I was the passionate supporter of Nigeria's team in the office until they exited in the round of 16. Being able to cheer for Germany until the end was amazing. I will never forget the German Team's win and how electrified our office was during the games. Moving to the US It was winter in 2014; I started feeling the urge to take advantage of an opportunity and start making plans to relocate to the US. Moving to the US had not been in my plans until now. There is no perfect time to do anything. In fact, the timing of my move to the US was the worst time for different personal reasons. I had gotten very comfortable in Germany, I was loving life, and now I was rocking my secure boat. Between the decision the move and the actual move I had only three months. When the time comes, you will know, and you must listen. This is not the end of my relocation story- Watch this space. 10 Tips and Lessons
Final Thoughts
“Although my journey was not always smooth, so much good came out it” – MC On my trip to Germany last month, i had the opportunity to retrace some of my steps. I’m excited to continue telling my story with the third chapter of my relocation journey to Germany. Year six to ten were very eventful to say the least. The theme of this phase was "I have to make this work for me." After so many ups and downs it was time for me to start having more success. In these years, there were significant milestones, achievements, and experiences. Everything seemed to happen so quickly compared to the previous five years.
In this post, I'll continue sharing my experiences on my relocation journey as well as ten tips to help you be successful on your journey. If you missed my previous posts in the My Life in Germany series, you could read about Year 1 - 2 and Year 3 -5. A scary new start It's early 2007, I'm now in a new city and studying at a new university. My move to Trier was a logical but tough decision. I felt very far from everything I had built over the past five years. In the first months, I had to overcome my feeling of loss and start building my new life. In no time, I made progress in school, found great jobs and made new friends. Thinking back on my time in Trier, I'm reminded of the great results that come from taking a bold step and making a change. I'm going back home to Nigeria After six years of trying to make it work, I convinced myself that Germany was not for me and that it was time to go back to Nigeria. Financial difficulties and not making progress with school triggered my decision to move back to Nigeria. In summer 2007, I started making plans to leave Germany. I felt like it would be easier to start a new life in Nigeria and that I would make more progress there. Within two months I went from deciding to leave, sharing my thoughts with my close friends to choosing to stay and make Germany work for me. I appreciate all the support I got during this time that helped me stay. My journey would have been very different if I went back. Determined to continue and make it Following my decision to stay in Germany, I found new energy to chase my dreams. It felt like I had made a decision that would help me start seeing the results I wanted in life. The bumps in the road made me more determined to succeed. I had an idea of where I wanted to be, I made plans and started working towards them. I was extremely focused and knew what motivated me. It felt like a rebirth - I knew I had what it took to overcome future challenges. Discovering my passion for Project Management During my Internships in university, I found my love for project management. Internships at IT project management offices in a bank and an airline set an excellent foundation for my career choice. I chose project management and would never look back. The flexibility to work in different teams across different industries was a plus. I'll share my experiences as a project manager in another post. Completing my first degree In 2010, after many years of tears, going to two universities and changing my course three times, I finally graduated with a Bachelor's degree. I enjoyed academic success because I was studying something I could apply, and I had learned my way of learning. My journey to my degree was long and tumultuous but, in the end, I made it. Interestingly, I knew this was not the end of my academic journey. Starting my first full-time Job It’s autumn 2010; I'm in Cologne, working at a digital agency and enjoying life. My first job was amazing. I was earning money, working with a great team on exciting projects. There were many learning experiences in my first year. Being a project manager was absolutely right for me. Thankfully, the discipline I learned from working part-time while I studied helped me adapt to my new Job easily. Continuing my education After six months of working full-time, I started studying for my Masters in Business Information Systems. It was important for me to continue my education to improve my career opportunities. Working full time and studying, taught me how to manage my time. My evenings and weekends were fully dedicated to working towards my Master's degree. The foundation for my mindset of continuously learning was laid. My health I'm happy, working, enjoying life and then I have a health challenge. All of my life I had enjoyed excellent health, so this was a very new experience for me. My first surgery and stay in the hospital became part of my journey. Spending six weeks on bed rest, I learned to respect and take care of my body. In this time, I learned the importance of allowing your body to heal. My fantastic community rallied around me, took care of me and gave me space. I got better, went back to work, school and life. This became another unexpected challenge that I overcame. Our family grew I can't tell my story without mentioning a significant milestone in my life. I became an aunt to my beautiful niece in summer 2011. I will never forget the first time I saw her. For the first time, I started thinking about what life skills I wanted to teach my little niece. She was the beginning of the next generation of strong women in my family. My family in Germany grew, and another anchor in my new country was set. Feeling at home in Germany Being born in Germany, growing up in Nigeria and now being back in Germany, I have always had an interesting view of my cultural identity and where my home is. It took me around seven years to start feeling like I could have a great life in Germany. It was a slow process that continued as I graduated and moved to Cologne. I'm sure that becoming a German citizen in 2011 also helped me feel more at home. Ten years after I arrived, I was now German, and Germany was my home. 10 Tips and Lessons
Final Thoughts
“My journey does not define me, it refines me” – MC In my previous post titled My Life in Germany: Year 1 and 2, I kicked off the series on my relocation journey in Germany. Bringing you another chapter of my relocation journey, let's move to my year 3 to 5 in Germany. The theme of this phase was - "Feeling stuck and not seeing progress."
When I left Nigeria, I expected life to be very different in 5 years of being in Germany. The first five years were very different from my dreams. In this blog post, I will share my experience from my third, fourth and fifth year in Germany. Living in different cities I lived in four cities in my first five years in Germany. As if moving to a new country was not challenging enough, I decided to move to different cities. Looking back, I am shocked and now understand why I felt very unsettled. My twin is here In 2003, my twin sister moved to Germany. I had my life companion with me again. The journey was still very hard, but I had someone on this journey with me. The comfort of having my twin close by lasted three years until my journey led me to move to a different city. Building my community I was now able to "somehow" communicate in German, and I moved to a Saarbrucken a slightly bigger city. I started meeting people from different cultures at my University and in town. I made great friends that supported me in many ways on my journey. Financial Responsibility I worked multiple jobs to support my sister and myself. It always felt like we had just enough. I learned a lot of valuable lessons from working in cafés, restaurants, libraries, and babysitting. I became an expert in managing our finances and stretching our Euros. Academic challenges Before I left Nigeria If you asked me where I saw myself in 5 years, one thing I was sure of was that I would have my university degree. My primary purpose for moving to Germany was to study and get my degree. Year after year, I did not see the success I expected to have. I was not making any progress with the course I was studying. Some reasons were that I was working a lot and the course was not right for me. I was so spoiled by being successful that now failure was new to me. My instinct and everything I had learned taught me to work harder when something does not work out. Hard work still didn’t get me the success I wanted. A huge lesson I learned here was that sometimes you need a make a significant change to make progress. It was time for me to change my course, leave my university and move to a different city. Time to reassess I was stuck; something needed to change. I needed to step away for a little while and plan my next move. I spent six weeks of summer 2006 in northern England and London. I was working as a babysitter, exploring England and visiting family friends. This was one of the major milestones on my journey. Stepping away gave me clarity on what my next step needed to be - I applied to universities in Trier and was accepted. Making a big decision The scariest decision I made was to move to Trier and start a new course. I was leaving my twin, my friends, the life I had built behind. I had a sliver of hope that this change will be good for me. At many points of my journey, my will to keep trying kept me going. "I choose me." Sometimes in life, you have to decide to "pick you." Forget everyone around you and choose what is right for you. Be prepared to live with the consequences. In 2006, I had to choose me and stick to doing something "selfish." Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I made. It was hard for someone who cared about family and friends’ feelings and opinions. I had to put my needs first and hope for everything around me to fall into place - and they did. 2006 FIFA World Cup A highlight for me was seeing Germany host the world for the world cup. I experienced Germany differently- open to guest. The motto “ Eine Zeit, um Freunde Zu finden” (A time to make friends) was a reality for four weeks. There was something in the air; everyone was celebrating football talent from different countries. We had open-air football game viewings in town, on campus, and at restaurants. Interestingly I cheered both the Nigerian and German football team. Supporting both countries will become the norm for me over the years. 10 Tips and Lessons
Final Thoughts
I want to share my story so women on their relocation journey know they are not alone with their challenges. In August 2001, my relocation journey continued with a move to Germany from Nigeria. I was excited to start the next phase of my life - Studying. Looking back, I can see how unprepared I was for my move. I had no idea what opportunities and challenges awaited me and how the journey will change my life. A phrase to summarize my first two years in Germany is "It is all fresh, new and very scary."
This post continues the "Her relocation" series with a very personal story of my life in Germany. This post is the beginning of a series of posts of how I lived, struggled and thrived in Germany. My 14-year journey cannot be compressed into a single blog post. I will break my story into the following phases:
Why am I sharing my story? You might be wondering what value I see in taking a trip down memory lane and sharing my story. I have three reasons for writing these posts:
My Story: Let me tell my story with the help of key challenges I faced. Missing my family For the first time in my life, I was alone without my twin sister and mother whom I spent every day with until I moved to Germany. In 2001, staying in contact and communicating with my family was very difficult. There was no WhatsApp back then and phone calls to Nigeria we extremely expensive. I went for long stretches of time without being able to talk to my family. I did not get to see my family for the first two years - Wow. I am so happy that technology now offers us multiple ways to stay in contact with our loved ones no matter where they are. Culture shock Before I moved to Germany, I had visited for summer vacation. A vacation does not prepare you for living in a country. Living in Germany was very different from my life in Nigeria. Unlike many people who relocate, I did not have the "honeymoon phase" when I moved to Germany, I went straight to feeling disappointment, confusing feelings, and frustration. My biggest challenge was getting used to how much longer it took people to interact with you. I later learned how to approach people differently and build bridges. Grown-up Life is hard I was only 15 when I moved to Germany, so the first years were fast-tracked growth years for me. I had to deal with aspects of life that my mum or other adults in my life took care of in Nigeria. Growing up we went through some difficult times; however, my mum was a rock and shielded us from a lot. Now being in Germany, I had to grow up, face everything that came my way and makes difficult decisions for myself. It started with choosing the course I would study in University. I learned the most valuable lessons from getting it wrong. Finances and Jobs Who knew babysitting would one day provide means for me to support myself financially? My first babysitting job was for a Doctor from England/Barbados, married to a German and new to Germany. I met her on a train when she was pregnant; we became friends when she finally had the baby I was happy to help and earn some money too. Babysitting served me well for my first years. There were many valuable lessons I learned about increasing, managing and stretching my income. Not feeling at home When I just moved to Germany, the questions people asked me the most were "where are you from?" and "when are you going back home?". I would quickly learn that to succeed in Germany; I had to start building a home and a community. I lived in a tiny village with nonexistent diversity which made having a community impossible. After a few months, I moved to a slightly bigger town where it was somewhat easier to build a community. I started the long journey of making Germany my home. Language barriers Living in a tiny village in Germany, no one spoke English, and I could not have a conversation in German. The communication barrier had a significant impact on me as someone who likes to talk to people. I took my language course seriously and practiced on anyone willing to listen - especially on the train. Being able to communicate helped me study, get a job, build a community and settle down in Germany. Weather: I arrived in Germany in the middle of summer. Excellent time to move there. Autumn was a little cold but ok. Then winter came. I was not prepared for what winter will do to me. My first winter was real winter with a lot a lot of snow and temperatures of -20 degrees centigrade. I had never felt so cold in my life and wasn't prepared at all. Also, why was it getting dark at 4 pm? I am not sure I started liking winter later, but I got used to it and got very warm jackets. Holidays and Key Events Celebrating birthdays and major holidays like Christmas alone was very hard. Being a twin, I have always had a birthday companion. My first birthday alone, when I turned 16 was very lonely. If you are Nigerian or know any Nigerian, you know Christmas is a very big deal. I can tell you that my first Christmas was very cold and unhappy. Strangely, celebrating alone taught me to be comfortable with being alone and valuing the times I get to celebrate with my family more. 10 Tips to win in the first years Are you in Year 1 or 2 of your relocation journey? You might feel like you will never settle into your new home. I can assure you that things will get better slowly but surely. These are some lessons learned from my experience and the experience of other women.
Final Thoughts
Please share any additional tips you have in the comment section below. Our experiences on our relocation journeys are different but our experiences are similar! Relocating, living and thriving in a new country is not an easy journey but it is worth it. This post continues the "Her Relocation" series which I started with my blog post My relocation journey: 10 things I wish I knew before I relocated to the US a few weeks ago. I know I am not alone on this journey.
A few months ago, I asked immigrant women mostly in Germany, UK, US and Nigeria: "What are the top three challenges you have faced in your new home country". In this post I will be sharing some experiences and learnings from other women who live in a new home country and are thriving. We will take a deep dive into some of the challenges the women shared and some advice you can apply. A major realization for me through the process, was that our experiences are very similar, and we have a great opportunity to learn from one another. Challenge 1: Feeling lonely Her Experience: "I was completely alone without friends or my family", "There was no one to help specially with my kids", "I struggled with meeting people", "I missed my family and friends" Her Advice:
Challenge 2: Lack of local Food Her Experience: "I could not find food she I accustomed to", "There were no African food stores in my little town" Her Advice:
Challenge 3: Different culture and language Her Experience: "Culture shock"," I didn't speak the language", " People had a different accent, personality, slangs" Her Advice:
Challenge 4: Professional/Career challenges Her Experience: " I struggled to find a job", "I had to start from the beginning professionally", "My university degree was not recognized" Her Advice:
Challenge 5: Financial hardship Her Experience: "I was always broke", "Money went away very quickly", "This was the first time I had to deal with all my bills without my parents" Her Advice:
Challenge 6: Legal and immigration issues Her Experience: " I didn't know where to go with my immigration questions", " I was afraid of my appointments at the Immigration Office" Her Advice:
Challenge 7: Settling into new life Her Experience: Settling In: finding accommodation, understanding daily specificities, opening a bank account - Her Advice:
Challenge 8: Relationship/Marital problems Her Experience: "My husband and I grew apart as were so busy trying to settle down here", "I was in a distance relationship for years and almost broke things off" Her Advice:
Challenge 9: Inferiority Complex Her Experience: " I felt like I was not good enough and everyone in my new country knew more than I did", "They treated me as if I was a 2nd class citizen" Her Advice:
Challenge 10: Personal Growth and Self-development Challenges Her Experience: " While I was growing up, I was taught not to challenge what I was told, when I moved I suddenly was expected to", " There were a lot of things I didn't know about life', " I had to grow up very quickly" Her Advice:
Final Thoughts: Thanks to all the ladies who contributed to this post. I appreciate you sharing your painful experiences so other ladies can learn from you and thrive on their relocation journey. In upcoming "Her Relocation" series blog posts, we will be delving deeper into more practical steps, sharing helpful resources and sharing in-depth stories from to immigrant women who are thriving. Call to action: Please share any additional challenges you faced or are currently facing in the comments section below. Let's share and learn from one another! Every relocation journey is different! My very first relocation journey started at the young age of 18 months, when we relocated from Germany to Nigeria. At age 15 I returned to Germany to attend college. Fourteen years later, I followed my heart and relocated to the US. On this journey I have experienced and learned some things professionally and personally that I would like to share with you.
Have you just relocated or live in a new country? Share two things you wish you knew before your relocated to your current home country in the comments section below. I’m excited to start a platform for women who are on the relocation journey to share experiences and tips to help women who are planning or have just relocated to a new country. Final thoughts:
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