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Comparing my Relocation to the US vs. Germany - Year 5

7/12/2021

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​Over the past months, I have reflected on and shared my 20-year relocation journey. I cannot believe how far I have come since I first arrived in Germany in August 2001. My experiences over the years have helped me grow and changed my outlook on life. Comparing the fifth year of my journey living in the US in 2019 vs. life in Germany back in 2005, these were very different years, one of them filled with the feeling of feeling hopeless, and the other was focused on finding balance.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Failing and being scared to make a change
Getting through university was a struggle for me. It took me much longer than I planned to find a course I enjoyed and graduate. In 2003 I started studying my first course, Computer & communications technology, at the University of Saarbrucken. Although by 2005, I knew that it was not the right course for me, I was afraid to make the necessary change. My situation was quite complicated as I had to work to make money to take care of my sister and me. The additional responsibilities prevented me from focusing solely on studying. I can still remember wondering if I would ever graduate from university.
 
What did I learn?
  • Know when to stop trying the same thing and do something new
 
Celebrating key milestones
My twin sister and I hosted a small birthday get-together when we turned 20 in 2005. I remember how special it was to celebrate with some of our friends in our hostel shared kitchen. This was the first birthday that I really celebrated after five years in Germany. Interestingly, I was going through an internal crisis because I was not where I expected to be at that age. The main disappointment was that I had not graduated after five years in Germany. I really needed the celebration to remind me that I was not doing too bad and had great people in my life.
 
What did I learn?
  • Celebrate how far you have come even when you do not feel like it
 
Realizing my dream company was becoming a nightmare
In 2019, only a few months into working at a dream company, things did not feel right. I felt like I had made a horrible mistake by leaving my highly successful consulting career and joining a new company. It seemed like I had taken a step back in my career, which was not what I wanted in any way. My inner fighter reminded me of how I had to find my place, especially in difficult situations. One thing was sure; I knew I had to make a change. I put all my energy into looking for a new role that was more aligned with what I am passionate about. And after about three months of searching and interviewing, I found a new role. I was finally able to appreciate the opportunity to work at this company.
 
What did I learn?
  • Acknowledge when a situation is not working for you and make a change
 
Making a substantial financial investment
One of my dreams was to one day invest in something significant. Where I was in life in 2005, I could never have imagined being in a financial state where I could invest in property. It was one of the scariest things I have done in my life. Although it was for a good cause, the process was incredibly stressful, and I was unprepared. Reflecting on this experience, I expected to be elated after things were finalized, but I was not. It took me a while to see how much making this move was a huge win.
 
What did I learn?
  • Accept that making your dream a reality might come with some learnings
 
Health Challenges
My experiences at work and with my investment caused me a lot of stress in 2019. I did not know how serious things were until I started having continuous pains. The quality of my life was impacted because I was going too fast and not managing my stress. Here I am working at a great company and investing in my first property, but I was suffering. My body started reacting to stress very severely, and I knew I had to make changes. I had to change what I ate, which was a huge deal for me. The most notable change I made was identifying my stressors and avoiding the ones I could.
 
What did I learn?
  • Make your health a top priority at all times
 
Following my passion
In 2019, I started my YouTube channel, which was a dream that I had had for a while. It felt like a wonderful way to grow my portfolio after launching my blog the previous year. Learning how to plan videos, film, edit, and publish videos was a highlight. I remember going to the studio diligently because I wanted to make sure that I invested in myself and lived out my passion. Somehow, I was in the right place at the right time, and things were finally falling into place. Living and working in the US provided me with opportunities that I would not have had access to in Germany.
 
What did I learn?
  • Make time for your passion projects even when life is pulling you in many directions
 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The person that I was in 2005 was quite different than who I was in 2019. However, my journey had a similar theme; I struggled to find comfort with all the changes that I was going through. In 2005, my worries were around finishing school and finances. Compared to 2019 when I needed to find a role at work that I really enjoyed. As I wrote this post, I was reminded of all the amazing people by my side in these phases of my life and relocation journey.

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Five hard lessons I learned about Money

30/11/2021

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Talking about finances has become something I really enjoy doing. It used to be an extremely uncomfortable topic for me. However, I realized that we can only do better when we start having honest conversations about money. In our quest to accomplish financial independence, there are a lot of great things that we can do.
 
In this blog post, we will explore the five lessons I have learned about money over the past years.
 
#1: Have a healthy relationship with money
It took me a while to realize that I did not have a healthy relationship with money. Thinking about my finances caused me a lot of fear and anxiety. I used to say that my greatest fear was being broke. These feelings dictated how I treated money in my life. I was overly conservative with spending my money and was hesitant to make bold money moves like investing my money.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Reflect on your relationship with money
  • Identify the decisions you are making based on negative feelings around money

Resource
  • Your relationship with Money
  • Taking charge of your finances
 
#2: Save your money
Growing my savings was one of the first lessons I learned on my path to financial independence. I knew that I had to be disciplined about saving my money to get out of my constant lack. I started with saving a small amount and increased over time. Being able to achieve my saving goals has helped me become financially independent.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Set your saving goals
  • Create an emergency fund
 
Resource
  • Good money habits
  • How to grow your Savings
 
#3: Spend money on the right things
For the longest time, I held onto my money and did not want to spend it. Over the last few years, I have learned that I need to spend my money on things that make me comfortable, help me grow and live a great life. It took me a while to learn this valuable lesson.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Identify the things you want to invest in for your growth
  • Invest in yourself and things that grow your money
 
Resources
  • 5 things for yourself that are worth spending money on
  • My experience making difficult Financial Decisions
 
#4: Learn about finances and grow your knowledge
There is a lot we can all learn about finances. I had to seek out information about finances as I started making my decisions when I moved to Germany. Talking about money was not an open topic when I was growing up. Many people that I speak to also share similar experiences as well. I have prioritized educating myself and learning about financial strategies that are new to me.
 
 Strategies to consider
  • Identify an area of your finances that you want to learn about
  • Seek out ways to learn more
 
Resource
  • Build your Toolkit: Achieving Financial Wellbeing
  • What I am doing differently with my money in 2021
 
#5: Know your status and set financial goals
At any given time, it is particularly important to know what your financial status is. Knowing your income, debt, expenses, and other aspects of your finances is the minimum. It might feel scary to take stock of your status. However, having clarity will help give you some peace. Once you know where you stand today, it will be easier to plan for the future. As part of your goal-setting process, ensure you have your financial goals as well.
 
 Strategies to consider
  • Take stock of where you are financially today
  • Set your financial goals
 
Resource
  • What is on your financial vision board?
  • Start your financial planning - six simple steps
 
Final Thoughts
To accomplish financial independence and growth, we need to be very intentional. The great news is that we have the power to achieve our financial goals.
 
Time for Reflection
  • Do you know your financial status?
  • What lessons have you learned about finances recently?
  • What is one big financial goal that you want to accomplish in 2022?
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10 Things that I am thankful for in 2021

23/11/2021

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This time of the year is a great time to pause and reflect on our lives. 2021 had been a big year for me. Looking back, I am incredibly grateful for everything that I have had the privilege to do and experience this year. I have learned to be very intentional about celebrating the good that is happening in my life. It is very easy to focus on what is not going well and forget the awesome experiences.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that I am grateful for. I am excited to share a snapshot of my "gratitude list" for this year.
 
#1: Living in good health
Especially with everything going on in our world today and the global pandemic, I have come to appreciate being alive and healthy even more. I am grateful that I wake up every morning and get to live my life without any major health issues.

 
#2: Having our son
Going through the first year of his life and watching our son grow is something I feel very blessed to experience. He has brought a lot of love and joy to our lives. The gift of having a child has changed my life for the best over the past months.
 
#3: Having amazing family and friends
My social circle is pretty small, but it has the best people for me. The most important person that I am grateful for is my husband. He has been my biggest supporter throughout this big year. I would not have been able to work and take care of a baby without him. 
 
#4: Being able to work from home
The last time I physically went into an office was in March 2020. I am very grateful for the fact that I have been able to work from home and care for our son. Although it has not been easy, I appreciate that I can do both at the same time from our home.
 
#5: Being financially stable
Every day, I appreciate that we do not have to worry about meeting our basic needs. It has taken a lot of discipline and intentionality to grow my finances. The work that I put in is paying off. I am thankful that I have enough for myself and to support others are well.
 
#6: Growing my career
The growth that I have experienced in my career over this past year has been phenomenal. I have gotten to work on many impactful projects with amazing people. Having success in my career has brought me a lot of joy and helped me see that I can do this. 
 
#7: Enjoying the small things
Recently, I noticed that I was feeling more like myself. I was able to enjoy the small things in my life again. Things like food, music, movies, walks, and more bring me joy. I am very grateful that those small things make me smile.
 
#8: Progression on my journey
As I have reflected on my journey, I have become more grateful for all the experiences that I have been through. Celebrating the good, bad, and ugly has made me appreciate how far I have come. The lessons I learned have helped me build a great life.
 
#9: Working on my passion projects
One of the fears I had when I became a mother last year, was that I would not be able to continue working on projects that I care about. Being able to write my blog, share my story and build connections has been something that has made me feel fulfilled.
 
#10: Being happy and hopeful for the future
I can confidently say that I am happy with where I am in my life today. I was not always able to say that. When I think about what the next year holds for me, I am very hopeful. There are many great things that I am excited to do and experience. I am grateful to be in a place in my life where I can be myself and live the life I desire.  
 
Final Thoughts
We have a lot to be grateful for, even though it may be hard to see sometimes. Whenever you feel down or discouraged, remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life.
 
Time for Reflection
  • What are three things that you are grateful for?
  • What is one thing that has made you smile recently?
  • How will you remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life?
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5 Professional development tools that everyone needs

16/11/2021

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When I think about building a successful career, I focus on things that are in my control. Knowing that I can drive my career makes me feel empowered. Recently, there have been a considerable number of articles about the great wave of people quitting their jobs to find something new. The desire to do work that we enjoy has become even more amplified. Developing your career is a wonderful way to infuse some energy and excitement into your professional life.
 
In this blog post, we will explore tools that have helped me grow my career. Check out my other "Her Career" blog posts for more tips and resources for a thriving career.
 
Tool #1: Learning & Skill building
One of the best pieces of advice that I received was that learning did not end once I got my degree and that it was important to continue learning. I took it to heart and made learning a part of my career development toolkit. Taking courses, trainings and certifications have helped elevate my professional profile a lot. I set a yearly goal to learn something new that will grow my career and make it happen. We all learn in different ways, so it is crucial to find what works best for you.
 
Questions to consider
  • What do you need to learn to get to the next career level?
  • How do you plan to learn it?
 
Tool #2: Mentorship & Sponsorship
In last week's post, I wrote about the value of mentorship and how much it has impacted my life positively. As you grow your career, you want to have people who can advise and guide you. Getting additional perspective from your mentors on your career decisions will help you accomplish big things and see things clearer.
 
Questions to consider
  • Who are your professional mentors or sponsors?
  • How do you leverage their knowledge and expertise?
 
Tool #3: Career Coaching
Reflecting on my career journey, one of the most pivotal moments was when I moved to the US in 2015. I quickly realized that I needed to do things differently in my career to thrive in this new country The new role was bigger than I had in the past, and I knew I needed some support. Working with a career coach helped me develop my plan, share my fears, and understand the professional system in the US better. As I plan for my next big career transition, I am working with a coach to prepare for the journey ahead.
 
Questions to consider
  • What are some of the challenges you are facing in your career?
  • How could working with a coach help you?
 
Tool #4: Professional Network
The people who are your companions on your professional journey are very important. Especially in the times we live in, building professional networks takes a lot more work and requires us to practice new relationship-building strategies. You can leverage your network to connect with people who have similar professional interests and share their knowledge. I enjoy having the opportunities to connect with my professional network and hearing about their experiences.
 
Questions to consider
  • Do you have a professional network?
  • How can you build or maintain your professional network?
 
Tool #5: Career development plan
Having a plan for your career will help you ensure that you are growing and developing. Documenting your career goals and checking in on your progress regularly should be something you do. It is easy to lose sight of your career ambitions when you do not have a plan.
 
Questions to consider
  • What are your career goals?
  • What steps are you taking to accomplish them?
 
Great Resources
  • Own your career development
  • How to find professional Sponsors
  • How to rekindle your passion for work
  • How to build a professional network
  • Lessons I learned about Career Transitions
 
Call to Action
  • Where do you want to go in your career?
  • What steps are you planning to take over the next month?
  • What is one professional accomplishment of which you are proud?
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How to get the most value from your mentors

9/11/2021

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Having great mentors can be a life-changing experience. When you talk to some people, they can readily name their mentors and share how they have supported them on their journeys. A few years ago, I did not have mentors and did not know their value. Once I found my first mentor, I wanted to scream from a hilltop about how mentorship has helped me on my journey. Years later, I have multiple mentors, and I am thankful that I do.
 
In this blog post, we will explore how to get the most value from your mentors on your personal and professional development journey.
 
Starting point: What does mentorship mean?
  • A person's mentor is someone who gives them help and advice over a period of time
  • A mentor is someone whose life or work you value and admire, and whom you think might be a good guide
  • Mentors provide guidance, advice, feedback, and support to the mentee, serving variously as role model, teacher, counselor, advisor, sponsor, advocate, and ally, depending on the specific goals and objectives negotiated with the mentee.
 
How to leverage your mentors
 
#1: Gain different perspectives
It helps to have someone who can help you see things a little differently in some life situations. Hearing how someone else views a particular situation you are in; can highlight something you might not have considered. You can see their perspective as a gift to you to help you increase your chances of succeeding.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Ask for their point of view on a topic you are contemplating
  • Listen to their opinions and decide what you want to act on
 
#2: Get Inspired and energized
When you think about the perfect mentors, think about people who inspire you to do more and take on new challenges. There is something powerful about having role models to whom you can look up. Seeing them accomplish remarkable things will serve as a source of motivation.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Ask them to share their accomplishments with you
  • Tell them how they inspire you
 
#3: Get feedback on your plans
Especially when you are planning a significant move in your life or career, it is especially important to have people with whom you can discuss your plans. They should be people with who you are comfortable sharing your ideas with and whose feedback you trust.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Review your ideas and plans with them
  • Ask for their feedback and suggestions
 
#4: Get support and encouragement
With all the magnificent work you are doing, it helps to get some positive reinforcement from your mentors. Knowing that you have people who are on your side and cheering you on feels incredibly good. You do not have to go on your journey alone. Let your mentors be there for you.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Share your fears and concerns
  • Accept their support
 
#5: Offer them something in return
The best relationships are the ones where all parties benefit from being in them. This is the same for mentorship relationships. It is important for you to not only receive support or advice from your mentors but also give them something of value. It could be in the form of providing them with your perspective, singing their praises, or helping them accomplish their own goals.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Ask them what you can do for them
  • Be ready to provide value as much as you receive
 
Final Thoughts: MC's Mentorship Journey
Having mentors in my personal and professional life has taught me a lot. They have supported me as I navigated some tough times in my life and have also been there to celebrate my successes. I have learned that we may need new mentors in different life phases and that mentors might look quite different than you expected.
 
Call to action
  • Who are your mentors? Review your list of mentors or find new mentors
  • How are you leveraging your mentors today? Utilize the mentors in your life
  • Do you show your mentors how much you value them? Find a way to appreciate your mentors 

Great Resources
How to Find a Mentor Who Can Accelerate Your Career
10 Tips for Finding a Mentor—and Making the Relationship Count
The Right Mentor Can Change Your Career. Here's How to Find One
What’s the Right Way to Find a Mentor?
What Exactly Is the Mentor's Role? What Is the Mentee’s?
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Comparing my Relocation to the US vs. Germany - Year 4

2/11/2021

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Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story. Comparing the fourth year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2004 versus where I was in 2018. These were very different years, one filled with the feeling of being lost, and the other was making bold moves while living out my dreams.
 
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Getting out and seeing things differently
In 2004, my sister and I left Germany for the first time after living there for almost three years. We spent the summer in London caring for six children who were on vacation. When I think back on my journey, that trip was a turning point for me. I needed to be in a different place away from my life. Having candid conversations with people who knew me during my childhood about where I was in my life was special. We also had the opportunity to travel to have some fun when we visited Disneyland in France on the hottest days I have experienced.
 
What did I learn?
  • Sometimes you need to leave your space to gain a different perspective
 
Going back to Nigeria
Visiting Nigeria in 2018 for the first time in 12 years was spectacular. I was a very different person and had been through a lot since I visited the last time. Eating some great Nigerian food was one of my highlights. I got to eat things that I had missed being away from Nigeria for so long. So many things reminded me of my childhood and the great memories I had. The sounds and the scents took me back many years.
 
What did I learn?
  • Enjoy things that brought you joy in the past
 
Traveling back to my other home country
After living in the US for over three years, I finally went back to Germany for a family celebration. Going back to the city of Saarbrucken, where I spent the early years of my time in Germany, was phenomenal. A lot had changed in my life between when I lived there and my visit in 2018. I enjoyed shopping at my local ALDI grocery store, driving past some of the places I lived, going to the restaurants I ate at, and seeing people who were part of my life.
 
What did I learn?
  • Going back to where your journey started will help you see how far you have come
 
Accomplishing things I never thought I would
There are some places in life that I could never imagine myself being. In 2018, my life changed in a significant way when I started a new job. I had been planning a professional move for a few years and was extremely surprised when it finally happened. The person I was in 2004 had no idea where I would be 14 years later. I wish I knew everything would work out better than I could have ever imagined.
 
What did I learn?
  • Don't limit yourself and your dreams
 
Having a companion on my journey
My sister was my companion for the early part of my journey living abroad. In 2004, we were living together and struggling to settle into our lives in Germany. Fast forward to 2018, living with my husband in the US. Thinking back on my journey, my twin sister and husband have been very instrumental and have supported me in many ways. I am very grateful that I did not have to go through all my experiences together.
 
What did I learn?
  • Lean on your companions on your journey
 
MC's Moment of Reflection
The person that I was in 2004 was very different than who I was in 2018. In 2004, I did not know where I wanted to go in my life and felt very lost. Compared to 2018, I lived the life I wanted and enjoyed the fruit of my hard work. If my younger self knew that everything would be awesome, and I will be happy. 
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How to practice self-love and stop being hard on yourself

26/10/2021

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On our recent family vacation, I noticed I was being very hard on myself and needed to remember to give myself some grace. It is easy to constantly dwell on what you could have done better and forget to enjoy the moment. In our lives as individuals, mothers, partners, caregivers, or professionals, there will be times when you will have to choose to love yourself and not be overly hard on yourself.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to practice self-love every day.
 
#1: Accept that good is good enough
While striving to do our best is a good thing, it can very easily become a burden. Wanting to be perfect in everything you do puts you under so much pressure and is not sustainable. You want to get to a place where you feel ok with delivering good outputs. Especially if you are playing multiple roles, you need to know when to accept that you have completed a particular task and be ok with it. Sometimes striving to get things done well and not perfect is what we need to do to enjoy our lives.
 
Questions to consider
  • What areas of your life are you putting yourself under so much pressure because you want to be perfect?
 
#2: Track your accomplishments and celebrate your successes
When you get into the habit of celebrating your wins, it helps remind you of how far you have come and the progress you are making. Often, we forget to celebrate the completion of a task or project and keep moving to the next thing without taking a moment to enjoy it. Celebrating what you have accomplished is a great way to remind yourself of how amazing you are.
 
Questions to consider
  • What have you accomplished over the past three months?
 
#3: Track your learnings
There will be situations that will go differently than you planned. Although you might not be satisfied with the outcome, the best way to deal with them is to take away the lessons you learned and keep moving. We tend to dwell on the failures and regrets we have. It would be better to learn from them and strive not to make the same mistakes again in the future.
 
Questions to consider
  • What lessons did you learn from the last thing that you did not do well?
 
#4: Continue discovering who you are
We are growing and evolving with every life experience and phase. Spending time getting to know yourself is essential. You will discover things that you did not know about yourself that are awesome. Knowing your strengths and things that make you unique will help you appreciate yourself even more.
 
Questions to consider
  • What is one thing you like about yourself?
 
#5: Take care of yourself
We focus more on caring for others and ensuring their needs are met while neglecting our own needs. It is time to start taking care of yourself and spoiling yourself. If I asked you when last you did something nice for yourself, it might take you a while to remember. We deserve to be a priority on our lists. Make time to practice self-care, take a break and get some rest as often as you can.
 
Questions to consider
  • How are you going to spoil yourself this month?
 
Final Thoughts
You are doing an excellent job even when you do not see it. We are often our worst critics and sometimes set unattainable goals for ourselves. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your awesomeness.
 
Time for Reflection
How have you been hard on yourself?
What is one nice thing that you need to tell yourself more?
What is one way you want to practice self-love this week?
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How to rekindle your Career

19/10/2021

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As we settle into our new normal in life, this is a great time to focus on things we have put aside to survive this past year. We spend a lot of time at work and deserve to be happy and accomplish our professional goals. I believe that we should own our development and take action to build our dream careers.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to recharge your career journey and thrive professionally.
 
Envision your dream career
Allowing yourself to dream about where you want to go in your career is essential. It is very easy to settle into the day-to-day of your job and forget about your career dreams and aspirations. Remembering what inspires you professionally is a great step to rekindle the excitement.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Ask yourself what your dream job is
  • Create a professional vision board or plan
  • Follow the professional journeys of people you admire
 
Check-in on your career goals
To accomplish great career success, you need to be working towards your goals. Take stock of where you are today compared to where you want to be professionally. It is crucial to check in on your goals regularly and measure the progress you are making.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down your professional goals
  • Explore what you think has been holding you back
  • Look at your career journey and your accomplishments
 
Build and leverage your career support group
When you have companions on your professional journey, you are more likely to accomplish your goals. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, provide guidance, give your feedback, act as a sounding board for your ideas and support your development. You don't have to go through your professional journey on your own.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Reach out to your sponsor and mentors
  • Have accountability partners who check in on your progress
  • Join professional groups and expand your network
 
Update your plan
Having a professional development plan is crucial to building a successful career. The intention is to document the steps you want to take and plan for them. Spending time planning will provide the clarity you need about what it would take to accomplish your goals.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Document the steps you will take to accomplish the next step on your career development plan
  • Do your research to gain more clarity on what you need to do
  • Commit to taking the steps on your plan
 
Take action towards your goals
Now that you have checked the progress you made, refreshed your goals, and updated your plan, it's time to take action. Putting in the work is the best way to develop your career. When you look back at this time in your life, you want to see the progress you have made in your career.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Take steps towards accomplishing your goals
  • Continue learning and developing new skills
  • Track your progress regularly
 
Great Resources
  • Own your career development
  • How to find and build relationships with your professional allies
  • How to ask for what you want at work
  • How to build a professional network
  • Telling your Career story
 
Call to Action
  • Are you where you want to be at this stage in your career?
  • What are your big career goals?
  • What are you going to do within the next month to accomplish your career goals?
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Reflecting on my first year as a Mother

12/10/2021

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When I found out we were expecting a baby in March 2020, I had no idea what life journey we were about to embark on. It was the same week when the world started shutting down due to the global pandemic. My experience being pregnant was very different given the times we were in. Everything went better than I expected, and our baby boy was born in October 2020. My motherhood journey kicked off and has been on for a year now. One thing I am grateful for, is that I had been caring for children from when I was younger until I graduated from college. My experience taught me a lot about caring for the basic needs of children. However, having a child of your own for 24 hours every day takes a little bit more.
 
In this blog post, I will share the ten lessons I learned from my first year being a mother to our amazing son. Check out my reflection on my first mother's day.
 
#1: Acknowledge the huge life change
Becoming a mother or parent changes your life in a very significant way. I had no idea what to expect and was surprised by how much my priorities would shift. Having time during my pregnancy to mentally prepare for the shift in our lives helped me. However, the past twelve months have changed me even more. I am still getting to know myself as a mum.
 
#2: Don't live in fear 
One of the first things I committed to doing when I found out that I was pregnant was not allowing fear to take over my life. Eight years earlier, I had a major surgery that made me worry about having a healthy pregnancy. I am so thankful that everything went well. Fast-forward to now that I have my son, I have to fight more fears on a daily basis. I constantly need to remind myself that every fall or scary moment is part of the journey.
 
#3: Embrace and enjoy the journey
People were right when they said time would go by very quickly. I have to constantly remind myself to be in the moment and enjoy the time with my son to the fullest. The pandemic gave me a gift where I get to work from home, be with him and experience his milestones. Seeing him grow and learn new things every day has been one of the most exciting things I have ever experienced.
 
#4: Lean on your partner or support system
Before I had a baby, I always thought I would have a stronger network and the "village" that would help me. Due to the pandemic, my support system was my husband alone. I have come to really love and appreciate my husband in a very different way. We have taken care of our son on our own from the day he was born till today. Learning to let go and accept his help made my life better.
 
#5: Do the things you said you would never do
There were some things around taking care of a child that I said I would never do before I had our son. Now I have come to accept that it is ok to do things that I would not have done because they are necessary at the moment. The truth that I have come to accept is that I can't control everything and striving for perfection is exhausting.
 
#6: Make time for things you are passionate about
One thing that I knew I really wanted to continue doing after becoming a mother was writing my blog. It has become something that allows me to express myself and grow in many ways. I made a deal with myself that I would not post for the duration of my maternity leave. Once it was over, I went back to writing my weekly posts because I really enjoyed them.
 
#7: Chase your professional goals …. responsibly
While being a mum is fulfilling and exciting, I know that I still want to continue having a successful career. I returned to work when my baby was 3,5 months old. Going back to work at that time was a conscious choice that I made because of the professional goals I had. In the last nine months since I went back to work, I have worked extremely hard. There have been times when I had to remind myself to rest a little because I was going too fast.
 
#8: Find your "flavor" of motherhood
As with everything, comparing yourself to others around you never has a great outcome. I have found that I am a mother that prioritizes being prepared, reading up on parenting topics, cooking my baby's food from scratch, and much more. I also acknowledge that there are things that other mothers enjoy doing that I do not, and that is perfectly fine.
 
#9: Be gracious and kind to yourself
We set high standards and have expectations of who we want to be as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, working professional and all the other identities we hold. Having high expectations of ourselves is good until it puts you under pressure and causes unnecessary stress. It is essential for you not to be too hard on yourself.
 
#10: Celebrate yourself
Reflecting on the last twelve months, I am very proud of all that I have accomplished. Taking care of a baby and working full time has not been the easiest thing I have done in my life. However, I have been doing both and rocking it.
 
Final Thoughts
Celebrating milestones has become a tradition for me. I want to make sure I am reflecting, learning and being grateful for all my experiences. To all the mothers out there, thank you for being awesome!!!
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How to get comfortable talking about your accomplishments and successes

5/10/2021

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Talking about our accomplishments and successes can feel a little daunting. However, it is very crucial that we get more comfortable doing it. In our private or professional lives, there are situations where we choose to either showcase our unique contributions or let them go unnoticed. If I asked you if you have ever been in a situation where you wished you spoke up and shared your accomplishments, your answer would probably be yes.
 
In this blog post, we will discuss how to get more comfortable talking about your accomplishments. Check out my other "Her Growth" posts for tips and resources to support your personal growth.
 
#1: Take stock of your accomplishments
Firstly, you need to believe that you have accomplished great things. Irrespective of how big or small you might think your successes are, they matter and should be celebrated. I learned to keep an accomplishment log where I write down my successes, and positive feedback people gave me. When you know what your accomplishments are, it is much easier to talk about them.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down your accomplishments, regularly at least once a quarterly
 
#2: Find a way to share your accomplishment that feels authentic to you
When I talk to people who are not very comfortable with talking about their accomplishments, they often share that it feels uncomfortable or unnatural to them. Their reasons include not wanting to sound proud, not knowing the right words to use and not feeling it fits their personalities. We know that it is important for our growth, so we should invest time in exploring different ways to find what works best for us.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Observe people around you and find a style that you like
 
#3: Practice talking about it
Especially for things that we do not feel very comfortable doing, practicing makes it easier. Now that you have taken stock of your accomplishments and found a way to share them that feels good to you, it is time to share them with someone. Prepare to have the conversation and rehearse if you need to. Find someone who you know will celebrate with you and share your accomplishments with them. It might feel scary at first, but it will get better the more you do it. Also, seeing people's reactions to your great successes will motivate you to keep sharing.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Share your top accomplishments in 2021 with people you trust
 
#4: Find and take opportunities to share your accomplishments
Getting into the habit of sharing your accomplishments will make it feel more natural. There might be established processes like yearly performance reviews where you get to talk about the great work you have done at work. Make sure you are taking advantage of them. You may also have to create opportunities to showcase your successes if none exist. Use your resume, profile, or other platforms to share highlights. In your private life, leverage the conversations you have to share your accomplishments with people.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Identify opportunities to share your accomplishments
 
#5: Continue tracking and celebrating your accomplishments
As you continue to grow and do great things, document them. It is very easy to forget what you have accomplished if you do not keep track of them. Along with making sure you remember your successes, you also want to celebrate them. We do not spend enough time celebrating how far we have come and often wait for people to celebrate us. Your successes are a big deal and need to be treated as such.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Update your Accomplishments log and celebrate your successes
 
Final Thoughts
Over the last years, I have learned that it is my responsibility to celebrate my accomplishments and journey. This is something that I constantly remind myself of. I look forward to hearing about your amazing successes.
 
Great Resources
How to start celebrating your accomplishments
Celebrate your professional achievements
How to master the art of self-promotion
 
Call to Action
What have you accomplished over the last year?
How are you going to practice talking about your accomplishments?
How will you celebrate your next major accomplishment?
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5 things for yourself that are worth spending money on

28/9/2021

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Achieving financial independence is one of the goals that we all need to be continuously working towards. Most of us think more about what we do not want to spend money on and less about what we should be spending our money on. It is crucial to spend money on things that improve you and your life.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five things that we can spend our money on that will generate great returns. Check out more "Her Finances" blog posts for practical tips to help you achieve your financial goals.
 
#1: Learning and developing skills
Investing in your personal growth is one of the best things you can spend your money on. If there are new skills that you want to acquire, now is a great time to start. Every year, I set learning goals to ensure that I am growing my knowledge. Investing in myself reassures me that I am doing something good for myself and building a great future. Knowledge is absolutely something that has huge returns.
 
Questions to consider
  • What new skills do you want to learn?
  • How much are you planning to invest in your learning over the next months?
 
#2: Things that simplifies your life
We all have areas of our lives where we feel like we would be more effective if we had some help. This is one area that I have decided to spend more money on. I realized that my time is too precious to be spending doing or worrying about some tasks. I had to learn the hard way, trying to do everything on my own while working full time and taking care of a baby. I am grateful to be in a place in my life where I can get help and delegate some tasks.
 
Questions to consider
  • What tasks can you delegate to someone else?
  • Where can you save time to dedicate to something you enjoy?
 
#3: Opportunities to build wealth for the future
The concept of investing your money wisely and increasing your returns is a great thing. Find what you want to invest in and how much works for you. This is also an area where I have been learning a lot and taking small steps. You can start small and continue to increase your investments over time. The great news is that there are many great resources that can help you.
 
Questions to consider
  • What can you invest in to build your wealth?
  • How can you start investing?
 
#4: Starting a business or side hustle
If you have a great business idea, invest in it and enjoy the rewards. The benefits include satisfaction from living out your dreams and also financial gain when your business is profitable. We all want to look back on our lives and be proud that we invested in our dreams. My life really changed when I built my business and started working on my passion projects.
 
Questions to consider
  • What passion projects do you want to invest in?
  • How can you invest in growing your business?
 
#5: Having fun and building memories
For the longest time, I felt that spending money on experiences like vacations or other fun activities was wasting it. Especially over the last year, I have realized that the memories we create are priceless. Having fun is a great way to recharge and enjoy yourself.
 
Questions to consider
  • What fun experience are you planning to have over the next month?
  • How can you make building memories a routine part of your life?
 
Final Thoughts
You are a great asset, and you deserve to be invested in. Investing in your development is a way of showing yourself how much you value yourself.
 
Time for Reflection
Are you investing in yourself today?
What area of your self-development do you want to invest in?
What steps are you going to take first towards investing in your growth?
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About your goals: How to start planning for 2022

21/9/2021

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With the summer being over and fall slowly starting for most of us, it is a great time to be introspective and plan for the months ahead. Over the past years, I started a practice of planning my next year in the final quarter of the previous year. When I began my planning early, I realized that I had enough time to reflect, wrap up my current year, and get excited for the next.
 
In this blog post, we will explore five questions that will help us kick-off planning for a great 2022. Check out my other Her plan posts for more tips on setting and achieving your goals.
 
#1: What have you dreamed of doing?
If the last years have taught us anything, we all don't know what the future holds. It is time to stop sitting on your dreams and start living them out. Recently, I read an article that reminded me to go back and think about all the wonderful things that I wanted to accomplish in my life. 
 
Strategies to consider
  • Allow yourself to dream
  • Read, listen, or watch things that excite you
 
#2: What are you afraid of doing?
We all have things that we are afraid of doing but know that we need to do it to get where we want to go. Starting to think about what you have been afraid of doing, will make them less scary. Ask yourself what makes it scary and think about how you would celebrate finally doing it.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down what you are afraid of
  • Plan the steps you will take to accomplish it
 
#3: What are you planning to learn?
Learning new skills and gathering knowledge is crucial to living a fulfilled life. Reflect on your personal development goals as you start thinking about what you want to accomplish next year Working on your learning goals will help you continue to grow in your life.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down one new skill that you want to acquire in 2022
  • Do research on what it would take to learn the new skill
 
#4: What do you want to stop doing?
There are things that we are doing that don't serve us any longer. This might be a great time to commit to stop doing them. We focus on things that we want to start and often forget that we need to stop others to create space. You might be doing too many things that are distracting you from what you really should be doing.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Write down the things that you do today that are not bringing you joy
  • Decide what you are going to give up
 
#5: How are you going to enjoy your life?
When we look back on our years, we want to feel satisfied with the life that we have lived. To enjoy your life, you have to be intentional about it. Waiting for great things to fall into your lap is not a sustainable strategy. If you want an amazing life, you need to go out and do things that bring you joy.
 
Strategies to consider
  • Reflect on what it means to enjoy your life
  • Plan to do more of the things you enjoy
 
Final Thoughts
When you set your goals early, you give yourself the opportunity to set up your goals more intentionally and be thoughtful. From my experience, I know that your year will be much better than you expected.
 
Time to Reflect
How have you planned your previous years?
How are you celebrating how far you have come?
What are you excited about for 2022? 
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5 Things that Self-doubt stopped me from doing

14/9/2021

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Over this past week, I have been reflecting on how self-doubt can have a severe hold on your life. Being confident in myself and my abilities has allowed me to explore new things and thrive. Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous journey and not one and done.

In this blog post, I will be sharing five things that self-doubt stopped me from doing and tools that help me overcome self-doubt.

#1: Believing in myself and feeling that I deserve to be where I am
For the longest time, I underestimated my talent and abilities. Especially when I faced difficulties and failed, I did not think I had what it took to be successful. When I look back on my journey and what I have experienced, I know that I have what I need to succeed and thrive.

Resources
  • The power of believing in yourself
  • How to overcome Imposter Syndrome

Tools that I apply
  • Get to know your own strengths and share them with people
  • Believe in your abilities and be confident

#2: Not talking about my accomplishments
Growing up, I was taught that it was a bad personality trait if you like to talk about what you have accomplished. It took me many years to learn the importance of promoting myself. Especially on my professional journey, I had to start being vocal about what I have accomplished to gain respect and recognition. I now value all my accomplishments and do not take them for granted.

Resources
  • How to master the art of self promotion

Tools that I apply
  • Track your accomplishments and speak about them
  • Celebrate your key milestones and reward yourself

#3: Asking for a promotion or what I want at work
One of the lessons that I learned that has helped my career grow exponentially is that you have to be in the driver’s seat and plan your career. Now I know that if I want to do great things at work, I need to ask for it and put myself in the right place.

Resources
  • How to ask for what you want at work

Tools that I apply
  • Plan your career development and make bold career moves
  • Ask for the new project or promotion that you want

#4: Sharing my story
This goes hand in hand with not believing in myself, I did not think my story needed to be told. I could not think about the value of sharing my story with people. It took me hearing people's reactions when I shared a little of my story to believe that my experiences are a gift that could help others.

Resources
  • How to tell your remarkable stories

Tools that I apply
  • Reflect on your story and the unique journey that you have had
  • Be proud of your story and share it with people around you

#5: Dreaming big and living out my passion
Especially since I did not grow up around people who were doing big and bold things, I kept my dreams mostly small. There have been many passion projects that I allowed remain a dream and never lived out. I sat on the dream of creating my blog for almost seven years. I did not think that my contribution would be valuable. Once I started living out my passions, my life was transformed.

Resources
  • How to live out your passion
  • Do you dare to do something great?

Tools that I apply
  • Find what you are passionate about
  • Do what you enjoy

Final Thoughts
If you have been letting self-doubt stop you from achieving greatness, it is time for you to overcome it and start making bold moves.

Great resources
  • How to overcome self-doubt
  • How to build your self-confidence
  • What to do when you feel Insecure
  • Tools to help you build your self-confidence
  • How I faced my biggest insecurity
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Let's Check In: How are you really doing?

5/9/2021

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Over the past weeks, I have been working very hard at work and have not had time to do many of other things. This week, I finally have some time off to catch up on life. One of the things I want to do is check in with myself and make sure that I am doing well. I know there are areas in my life where I am not doing well, and I am looking forward to working on those things.

In this blog post, we will check in on how we are doing in all aspects of our lives.

Physical and emotional wellbeing
When your mind and body are well, you feel like you can take on the world and do great things. It is crucial to focus on taking care of your whole self. If you feel like you have been neglecting yourself, this is the perfect time to practice some self-care and make it a routine.

Questions to consider
  • Do you feel overwhelmed?
  • Does your body feel whole?
  • How are you doing mentally and emotionally?

Call to Action
  • Share how you are feeling with people around you or seek professional support
  • Take steps to improve your physical wellbeing

Tips/Resources
  • How I am prioritizing my mental health
  • Make self-care a priority

Financial Health
The state of your finances is something that can impact you in a good or bad way. In my life, I know that when my finances are in order, and I am meeting my financial goals, I feel good overall. I strongly believe that taking control of our finances should be a priority.

Questions to consider
  • How is the state of your finances today?
  • Are you working towards your financial goals?

Call to Action
  • Review your financial status compared to your goals
  • Commit and take steps towards achieving financial independence

Tips/Resources
  • Your relationship with money
  • What I am doing differently with money in 2021

Career and professional growth
Given the amount of time that we spend at work, it makes it much more fun when we are progressing and accomplishing our professional goals. We all work for different reasons and knowing what your reason is will help you.

Questions to consider
  • Are you advancing in your career?
  • What do you want to accomplish next professionally?

Call to Action
  • Review or set your professional goals
  • Look for something you enjoy at work

Tips/Resources
  • How to ask for what you want at work
  • How to rekindle your passion for work

Healthy relationships
Your relationships with your family, friends, and people you care about are a crucial part of your overall wellbeing. Reviewing the health of your relationships often is great practice. That will help ensure that you are connecting with the people around you.

Questions to consider
  • Do you have people who care deeply about you?
  • Are you benefiting from the relationships?

Call to Action
  • Spend time with people you love
  • Step away from relationships that are not serving you

Tips/Resources
  • How to reconnect with people in your life
  • Do you have conversations that matter?

Living out your Passions
With everything that you are doing in life, you might be neglecting your passions. This has been one area that I have been working on. I know that working on my passion projects is something that I need to do to be happy.

Questions to consider
  • Do you know what you are passionate about?
  • Have you been working on your passion projects?

Call to Action
  • Rediscover what you enjoy doing
  • Make time for your passion projects

Tips/Resources
  • How to find or revive your passion
  • Do you dare to do something great?

Final Thoughts
One thought that has changed the way I think about how I take care of myself is - "If I don't take good care of myself, who will?". We are responsible for taking care of ourselves.
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 5

31/8/2021

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Over the past month, I have been celebrating my 20th anniversary of living abroad. Reflecting on my life has been an amazing experience. There have been many ups and downs. I am excited to wrap up this series.
 
In this blog post, I will share the top 10 things that I wish I did more of and want to do more of over the next years on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
Travel more and see the world
Especially when I moved to the US, I realized that I was very far from the rest of the world. While I lived in Germany, I could have traveled more. However, primarily due to financial constraints, I was not able to. Now that I am more financially independent, I can now see more of the world.
 
Spend more time with my loved ones
For most of my journey, I have lived so far from my loved ones and have not spent much time with them. Especially going through the pandemic over the last 18 months, I have realized how much I want to spend time with my people.
 
Celebrate my cultural identity
It took me over 14 years of living abroad to accept the fact that I have different facets of my identity. I now know that I am German-Nigerian, and both cultures influence who I am. There is beauty in knowing and living in your cultural identity.
 
Enjoy the local culture and sights
After living in California for almost seven years, I feel like I have seen more in the last years than when I initially moved here. I want to enjoy where I live a little more. There is so much to see and experience wherever you find yourself.
 
Build wealth and invest in my future
Most of my first years on this journey were spent being broke and then becoming financially independent. I want to focus more on building wealth. I have learned many valuable lessons about finances and have been applying them to my life. 
 
Build new memories
While I was reflecting on my journey, I realized that there is still so much that I can experience. I am excited to go out of my comfort zone and do new things. When I am reflecting on the next 20 years, I want to have so much to share.
 
Tell my story
Although I started sharing some aspects of my journey over the last three years, there is still a lot that I have not shared. One of the main reasons is that I have not yet entirely permitted myself to share all aspects of my story. I decided to start sharing more about my experiences navigating life in new countries.
 
Do more of what I enjoy
In the last year, I have been asking myself what I enjoy doing. I spent most of my journey trying to survive, and now I am in a phase when I'm thriving. I can now enjoy myself more, and I am excited to experience more food and see beautiful places.
 
Worry less and live in the moment  
For a major part of my 20-year journey, I was very worried about my future. I did not know where my life was heading. Over the past years, I have learned to worry less and want to continue on that path.
 
Enjoy the experience with our son
My life abroad changed when I had our son in 2020. I now get to experience living in different countries with him. Sometimes I wonder what his cultural identity will be and how he will live his life. 
 
Final Thoughts
Looking back, I can see how far I have come on my journey. I am very grateful for everything that I have experienced and excited for the amazing future ahead. 

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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 4

24/8/2021

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​This week, I will be continuing my 20th-anniversary celebration by sharing moments that changed my life forever. On my journey so far, there have been those times when I did not know how much the decisions I made will impact my life in a good way. When I reflect on my journey, I know there were many opportunities for things to go really wrong, but they did not.
 
In this blog post, I will share the top 10 defining moments on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Being Evicted and living on people's couches
Coming home and seeing my belonging outside the door of the house that I had lived in for almost a year in Germany is one memory that I will never forget. I feel like this was the real beginning of my journey surviving all by myself.
 
How did my life change?
  • Although things went very differently than I planned, it was the beginning of my independence at the age of 16.
 
#2: When my sister moved to Germany
My sister moved to Germany about 17 months after I moved there. Her arrival was at a time where I was struggling and had no home of my own. Some things happen in life that motivate you to make bold moves, and this was one of them Together, we faced all the challenges and built memories for life.
 
How did my life change?
  • Feeling responsible for someone else motivated me to go out and work hard so we could take care of ourselves
 
#3: Moving into our first apartment
My sister and I shared a tiny room in a hostel on campus. Having our own space felt like the best thing ever. Interestingly this was the first place I felt at home after living in Germany for almost two years. I had stayed in places where I went to sleep but did not feel at home. The feeling of being at home is one that I really value.
 
How did my life change?
  • Living on our own for the first time helped us learn valuable homemaking skills
 
#4: Deciding to change my University  course
I had spent three years struggling to complete the first degree I started, and it was not working out. In my life, quitting was one thing I had not done often. I had been trained that if you work harder, you can do everything. However, in this case, I needed to change and do something else.
 
How did my life change?
  • Accepting that failing at one thing did not make me a failure helped me become brave
 
#5: Getting my first job
After I graduated and earned my Bachelor's degree, I had one year to find a job before losing my visa to stay in Germany. It was a lot of pressure because I did not want to lose everything after fighting for nine years. I still remember applying for so many jobs and getting rejections. Finally, I got invited to three job interviews and was hoping to get one. Finally, I got the call. I remember how nervous I was on my first day.
 
How did my life change?
  • Earning more money meant I could do more of the things that I wanted to
 
#6: Earning my Masters degree
After struggling so much to graduate from my first degree, I never thought that less than a year after graduating, I would decide to start my Masters. I still remember finding the university and the course I wanted to study. It was important for me to continue setting myself apart by gaining more knowledge and getting the official degree. On my professional journey so far, my degree has helped open doors.
 
How did my life change?
  • The process of getting my post-graduate degree reminded me that I could learn and it set me apart.
 
#7: Moving to the US
When I think back to the timing of my relocation to the US, it was not perfect at all. Given where I was in my life, I knew that even though the circumstances were not optimal, it was time for me to move. My move was the beginning of many great things for me. I was moving to another country to be with my special man with a good job. It was one of the best moves I made in my life.
 
How did my life change?
  • Gaining more financial stability had enabled me to do more in my life
 
#8: Starting to tell my story
In 2017, I found myself in social situations where I could share more about myself. Until this point, I did not think a lot about my journey or even talk about my life so far. Someone said something I would never forget. She told me she thought I had a unique story to tell. Not only did I start talking about my story more, but I also launched my blog in January 2018. I have taken every opportunity that I am given to tell my story.
 
How did my life change?
  • Telling my story helps me see how far I have come
 
#9: Finding my passion Job
After working for over 18 years now, from my mini-jobs to internships through full-time positions, I now know what I want to be doing. Helping people be their best selves is something that I enjoy doing. I used to have to do a lot of fulfilling work outside of my full-time job. In the last two years, I have been able to work on programs that align more with my strengths and passion.
 
How did my life change?
  • Working in a space that you are passionate about makes it worth it
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#10: Living during a global pandemic
The last 18 months have been a very interesting time. My story living abroad will not be complete without mentioning this pivotal time in our lives. The pandemic limited our ability to move around and helped me build deeper roots in my current city.
 
How did my life change?
  • Learning to appreciate the beauty of where we live now.
 
Final Thoughts
As I reflect on my journey, there are so many moments that have made it amazing.  I cannot imagine how different my life would have been if I made other choices.

A Snapshot of My Story
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 3

17/8/2021

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After living in Germany and the US for 20 years, I experienced many things that no one warned me about. When people talk about living abroad, there is a lot that they do not share. If we shared more with each other, we would be better prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly experiences.
 
In this blog post, I will share ten things I wish someone told me I would experience on my relocation Journey. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.
 
#1: Food will be a very important part of your life
Over the years, food has become a crucial part of my experience. I find that I stay connected to Nigeria and Germany through the food I cook or crave. Over my years in Germany, I seriously sought out stores that sold Nigerian food ingredients. Back in the day, things were very expensive and scarce. However, I knew that eating some foods that I grew up with will give me some joy. Since I moved to the US over six years ago, I have been looking for bread that tastes like the amazing bread that I enjoyed in Germany.
 
#2: Home is wherever you want it to be
I wish someone would have told me that home is not a physical place or country; it is in the heart. This might sound cliché, but my life got much better when I stopped wishing I could go home. I accepted that I was already home wherever I was. I had been planning my exit from Germany for over seven years, and then I decided to start enjoying my life there. It really helped me to focus on building an amazing life there. My transition to the US was much easier because I knew I could create a home wherever I find myself.
 
#3: You will be lonely sometimes and learn to enjoy your own company
In my past posts, I shared my experience being away from all my family living in Germany. It was hard in the beginning because I had never been away from my twin sister. I had to learn to enjoy being on my own and find things that make me happy. After spending so many holidays alone, I started creating my own traditions and no longer dread them. Being alone is no longer something that I am afraid of.
 
#4: Measurement systems differ
This is very particular to living in the US, where the imperial measurement system is used compared to the metric system in all the other countries, I have lived in. I really do not understand why the US uses a different system. Even after six years living here, I still convert the temperature from Fahrenheit to Celsius when I watch the weather. No one told me that measurement norms will complicate my life. 
 
#5: Financial standards differ
When I moved to the US from Germany, I learned the concept of credit score. All my life in Germany and Nigeria, I never had a credit card. I had grown very scared of getting into debt. Then I moved to the US where I had to build my credit and was advised to buy everything with my credit card. It took me a long time to get used to it, and till today, I pay off my credit card very regularly because I do not want any issues. 
 
#6: Your cultural identity will change
How I identify culturally has changed a lot as I have lived in different countries. When I was living in Germany, I felt very Nigerian and identified fully with how I had grown up. Then I moved to the US and noticed that I felt both Nigerian and German. It took me a while to get comfortable with my cultural identity changing. Now I can comfortably say that my food culture is Nigerian and professional culture in German.
 
#7: You will become stronger and resilient
With all the difficulties that I had faced on my journey, the good that has come from it is that I am stronger. My ability to handle stressful situations has been tested over time. I have learned to bounce back from setbacks and continue with my life. As a result of all my experiences, I am stronger and more resilient. 
 
#8: There will be many amazing people on your journey
Over the past 20 years, I have met a lot of amazing people and built great relationships. The people on my journey have been one of the best parts of my journey. Although my circles are small, they have contributed to my life in many ways.
 
#9: You will get comfortable with the unknown and get excited by new things
In the past, when I was asked what my weakness was, I said I struggled with change. This is definitely not true anymore. I look forward to doing new things and exploring different opportunities. Moving to new cities and countries taught me to face unknown situations over and over again. Embracing the new with optimism is a skill that I apply in my everyday life.
 
#10: You will have many amazing memories
As I have reflected on my journey, I am reminded of so many happy moments. There has been a lot of laughter and celebrating our accomplishments. I wish I could have captured all the happy moments. My journey has been amazing and rewarding.
 
Final Thoughts
Telling my story on my blogs has enabled me to share my experiences with others. I really hope that through telling my story, I can help people anticipate what they may experience and validate people's experiences. We are all on this journey together. ​

A Snapshot of My Story
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 2

10/8/2021

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On my 20-year relocation Journey, I have experienced a lot of highs and lows. As I reflect on the negative experiences, I am reminded of how much I learned from them.

In this blog post, I will share the lowlights on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.

Taking longer to get my first degree
When I moved to Germany, I expected to earn my Engineering degree within five years. I could never have imagined how difficult it would be for me. The first course I started studying did not fit my strengths at all. I tried everything I could to make it work, although I knew I was failing. The thought of quitting and doing something else did not seem like an option for me. It took me three years before I decided to apply to a new university and study a new course. My second course was more aligned with my strengths. However, when I faced some challenges, I knew how to pivot and make changes. I finished the third course much faster and finally graduated with my Bachelor of Science degree. And a few years later, I earned my Masters degree.

What did I learn?
  • Know when it is time to make a change or pivot and do something else

Working multiple odd jobs
The number of different jobs I did is astonishing. I was a babysitter for multiple families, worked on Campus, at Subway and, in multiple cafes to be able to pay my way through college. Thinking back, it was difficult having to work multiple jobs at once to earn enough money. There were times when I wished I didn't have to work so much and could focus on school more. Not only was juggling multiple low-paying jobs hard, but it was also taking me away from my primary goal, which was to complete my degree. Although it wasn't always fun, I gained many skills.

What did I learn?
  • There are applied skills that you can leverage from other jobs

Having Financial Issues
For the longest time, I was worried about not being able to pay my bills. I still remember the only time in my life that I overdraft my bank account by eighteen euros to buy necessities and received a letter from a collection company. I had just moved to a new city and was trying to settle in. The stress I felt was immense. Having to worry about money was a theme of the first ten years of my 20-year journey. I almost left Germany because I was tired of working so hard but still lacking essential things. I promised myself that I would never let myself get back to that place after I started being more comfortable financially.

What did I learn?
  • Budgeting and building your savings are fundamental pillars of financial wellbeing

Feeling lonely and isolated
In August 2001, when I moved to Germany, it was a very nice summer. However, the fall and winter months came very quickly, and I was stuck indoors most of the time. At this time, I could not speak German and had not yet made any friends. I can still remember how lonely I felt being away from my twin sister, mum, and friends in Nigeria. The feeling of loneliness lasted for a while until I moved to stay with a friend and then my sister moved to Germany in 2003. Every time I moved to a new city, I had to recreate my social circle and felt lonely for a while. As I moved to new cities and countries, I got better at building connections faster, which helped me feel less isolated.

What did I learn?
  • Build your social network early and maintain it over time

Surviving bad relationships & friendships
I moved to Germany at a very formative time in my life. My experiences with having relationships started after a few years of being in Germany. In the beginning, it was a lot of trial and error. Growing up, I did not have a lot of positive role models who were in relationships or married. As I navigated the waters of relationships, I had some bad ones that caused emotional pain. Interestingly, there were also friendships that I had to let go of because they did not bring me joy, and I felt I was giving too much of myself.

What did I learn?
  • Choose who you spend time with carefully

Missing key family milestones and celebrations
Being far away from home, I missed key milestones like births, deaths, graduations, birthdays. I still remember crying when I celebrated my first birthday away from my Twin. We had never celebrated any birthday away from each other since we were born. In addition, I celebrated my first Christmas alone. I missed a lot of the holiday traditions that I grew up with. Spending Christmas with my cousins and enjoying great food was a thing of the past.

What did I learn?
  • Explore other ways to celebrate people even if you are not physically there and start your own holiday traditions

Having Health challenges
On New Year’s Eve in 2005, I went to the Emergency Room after being in so much pain all day. I have high pain tolerance, but this time it was different. I still remember seeing the fireworks on the bus on our way to the ER. At that point, I had no idea that the pain was caused by fibroids. I had endured severe pain for the major part of my life and did not know that it was not normal. Fast forward to 2011, I had to have a myomectomy to remove the fibroids. This was the first major surgery that I had in my life, and I was going through it alone. My sister was heavily pregnant at this time, living in a different city and could not be with me physically. I had the surgery and had a 6-week recovery time at home. Interestingly during this time, my niece was born, and I finally got my German passport.

What did I learn?
  • Take care of your body and see professionals if you do not feel well

Feeling stuck at work
With the amazing success that I had in my career especially in recent years, also came some negative experiences. In 2017, I spent a lot of time away from home, traveling for work. I was caught between enjoying the work I was doing but not feeling recognized. A year earlier, I had worked with a career coach and was more aware of my professional goals. After being passed up for a promotion that I had worked very hard for, I knew it was time for me to leave my job. It was a complex decision because my visa at that time in the US was tied to my job. This led to me feeling very stuck.

What did I learn?
  • Set professional goals and ask for what you want at

Facing Immigration challenges
As an immigrant, your ability to stay in a country is determined by someone in the immigration office. I still remember how nervous I felt every time I had to extend my visas. I was very aware that one person could decide not to extend my visa and change the course of my life. In Germany, there were requirements that I knew I had to meet to stay there. Meeting the financial requirements was one that I struggled with. At that time, you had to show that you had 400 Euros in your account every month and will not be dependent on any financial support programs. Thankfully, I was able to make it work, and my visas were extended. Fast-forward to moving to the US where my immigration status was different, I still faced some minor challenges. Although I met all the requirements, the process was less transparent and took much longer. After going through multiple immigration status changes, I still get nervous and ensure that I meet all the requirements.

What did I learn?
  • Educate yourself about the laws and requirements that you need to abide by

Feeling like I do not belong
The sense of belonging has been one major lowlight of my journey so far that has been a constant throughout. I have learned to do things that help me feel like I belong when I start feeling otherwise. For the first seven years in Germany, I could not wait to leave. Random people would ask me when I was going home and that was a steady reminder that Germany was not my home. I was mentally counting down to when I will get my degree and go back to Nigeria. After realizing that it would take me a little longer, I decided to start settling in and enjoy my life in Germany. It took me a few more years of learning what makes me feel like I belong. I stopped planning my escape and started building my home. This mindset had helped me feel at home in the US when I moved here.

What did I learn?
  • Make yourself feel at home no matter where you are

Final Thoughts
The negative experiences that I went through over the past 20 years shaped my journey and taught me many valuable lessons. Although I never want to experience the hardships again, I can now see the lessons I learned in the process.

​A Snapshot of My Story
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Celebrating 20 Years of Living Abroad - Part 1

3/8/2021

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In August 2001, I embarked on an unknown journey and boarded a flight to Germany from Nigeria. So much has happened in the 20 years since then. I have lived in about eight cities in three countries and experienced a lot. Over the month of August, I will be sharing highlights, lowlights, and lessons learned on my twenty-year relocation journey.

In this blog post, I will share ten things I am proud of accomplishing on my relocation Journey so far. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts to learn more about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US.

#1: Being brave and bold to start afresh in new cities and countries
I still remember the points on my journey where I had to begin a new life in a new city or country. There were times when the move came with joy, like when I moved to the US and other times when I was sad, like when I moved to Trier. In every situation, I made it work. I found what I like about my new homes and built the life I wanted there.

#2: Learning new languages, cultures, and traditions
When I moved to Germany from Nigeria, I only knew a few words of German from when I was a child. I took courses and learned enough to study in Germany. Fast forward to when I moved to the US, I wasn't really learning a new language, but I was getting to know a different culture. Now I speak four and a half languages and have learned a lot about multiple cultures. This had made me understand and empathize with people from different backgrounds even more.

#3: Always bouncing back up after setbacks
In the 20 years of living abroad, I have experienced my fair share of challenges and setbacks. The first setback that I faced was being homeless for months in my early years in Germany. Another major setback that I bounced back from was finally getting my first degree after it took much longer than expected. Looking back at those experiences, I overcame them and built a beautiful life.

#4: Becoming financially independent
I still can't believe that I moved to Germany with no money in my pocket. One thing I knew back then was that I wanted to be financially independent and build wealth. Over the past twenty years, I have prioritized my financial wellbeing and still do not compromise on my financial goals for any reason. I know what it is like to be poor to living off twenty Euros a week to where I am today. Achieving financial independence has allowed me to live a good life today.

#5: Creating my close circle of friends and social network
The people that have been in my life over the past 20 years are very dear to me. My circle is small and very precious. We have been through a lot of life experiences together and have built very deep friendships. I am very happy to have had so many amazing people on my journey.

#6: Earning my degree(s) and certificates
It took me nine years of being in Germany to get my bachelor's. In that time, I learned German, went through a university preparation course, changed the course I was studying twice. And then finally, I earned my first degree and started working. Interestingly, I went on to earn my masters which was a better journey for me. Following my Masters degree, I got multiple professional certifications. I was able to apply the lessons I learned from failing for so many years towards my continued learning Journey.

#7: Achieving professional success
Some of the moments when I was surprised about my success had a lot to do with my professional accomplishments. Often, I wonder how I got to work on big projects, partner with senior leaders and work with global teams. I know that I have put in the work, and it is great to see the great results.

#8: Traveling and seeing the World (well, part of it)
Since I was living in Germany and the US, I have had the opportunity to travel to Canada, Italy, India, UK, The Bahamas, Dubai, Singapore, Denmark, Greece, France, Luxemburg, and Switzerland. Thinking back to my childhood, I would never have imagined that I would be in places where I can see more parts of the world. Experiencing different cultures and seeing the beauty has been one of my favorite parts of the past 20 years.

#9: Giving back to others
One of the things that makes me grateful for my journey is that I have enough, have attained success, and can give back to my community. I am a strong believer in the power of giving back and pouring into other people's lives. The opportunities to speak to first-generation immigrant students, coach women, mentor people, and financially support people gives me a lot of satisfaction.

#10: Building our home and having an amazing family
When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could not even imagine what my life would be like 20 years down the road. Today I have my own family with my two favorite boys - my husband and our son. Everything that I experienced has helped me see what really matters and build my amazing life.

Final Thoughts
Reflecting on my journey has been very therapeutic for me. I have been through a lot and have not yet shared a lot. I am excited to share my story with you. In my next blog post, I will focus on the lowlights of my journey so far.
​
A Snapshot of My Story
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What is on your plate?

27/7/2021

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Knowing what is on your plate is crucial. The word "plate" in this context refers to everything you think about, are responsible for, and do regularly. We all have a lot that we are taking care of simultaneously, and sometimes it feels overwhelming.
 
In this blog post, we will explore how to ensure that your plate is well cared for and not overflowing.
 
#1: Evaluate all that you have on your plate
On any given day, you have a lot on your plate that requires your attention and taps your energy. Taking stock of what is on your plate is very important. You will feel more in control when you know everything that is on your plate. This increases your awareness and helps you see things you did not think you were taking on.
 
Questions to consider
  • What is on your plate?
  • Have you been intentional about what you take on?
 
#2: Take some things off your plate
To avoid overfilling your plate, it is crucial to know and set your boundaries. There are things on your plate that do not belong there. We tend to say yes to too many things, and they end up making us feel overwhelmed. It is essential to de-clutter your plate regularly.
 
Questions to consider
  • What do you have on your plate that does not bring you joy?
  • How are you going to let go and remove them from your plate?
 
#3: Add some things that are important to you
After you have evaluated what is on your plate and removed the things that should not be on there, it is the perfect time to add things that are important to you. After I did this exercise, I noticed that I was not doing anything fun, and we decided as a family to explore new things.
 
Questions to consider
  • What makes you happy that is not yet on your plate?
  • How would you create time for the new things you want to do?
 
#4: Guard your plate
You or other people might be tempted to add things to your plate that should not be there. It is your responsibility to ensure that nothing gets added to your plate if you do not want it to. If you are not intentional about guarding your plate, it will continue getting crowded, and you will be overwhelmed. This is a critical life lesson that I have learned.
 
Questions to consider
  • Can you commit to saying no?
  • How will you ensure no one adds something to your plate?
 
#5: Be kind to yourself
The truth is that you are a hero for doing everything that you are doing. Show yourself some grace and be kind to yourself. Seeing how far you have come and how amazing you are doing will motivate you for the journey ahead.
 
Questions to consider
  • How will you celebrate yourself?
  • What makes you proud of yourself?
 
Final Thoughts: MC's Story
Over the past months, I realized that I had too much on my plate. My initial response was to think that I needed to plan better, and everything would work out. That strategy had worked in the past, but it was not working this time because the things on my plate increased substantially. I had to try something new and respect my "plate" better.
 
Great resources
How to Deal with Constantly Feeling Overwhelmed
Your To-Do List Is, in Fact, Too Long
How to Avoid Burnout and Improve Your Well-Being
7 Tips To Manage Attention and Avoid Overwhelm
11 Things To Do When You Have Too Much On Your Plate
 
Time for Reflection
When last did you feel like you had control of your life?
What were you doing differently then?
What are new things that you want to start doing to help you enjoy your life?
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    Marie-Christin Anthony
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