Over the last 21 years, I have had many experiences as an immigrant in Germany and the US. I recently talked with someone who had immigrated to the US, and we shared our common experiences. It is amazing to see how many things we have in common because we have lived in a different country than the ones we were born in.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that are part of my life as an Immigrant and how I handle them. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Being affected by unrest in the world With everything going on around the world, my heart goes out to people who are affected in the regions and those in the diaspora who are watching from afar. With every news story about bad things happening, it feels very personal. I know how it feels to worry about peace in the world and the impact on people you know. How do I handle it?
Missing key family milestones Our family recently grew by one member, and I could not be there in person. Recently, I recalled how many family celebrations I have had to watch from afar. I have gotten used to being too far away to celebrate key milestones with my extended family. How do I handle it?
Not understanding the jokes and references Whenever someone uses a cultural or historical reference that I do not understand, I am reminded that I am an immigrant. There are many things that people ask me about Nigeria, Germany, or the US that I do not know. Every day, someone mentions something about the country I am in that is new to me. How do I handle it?
Missing some of your favorite food If you read my blogs, you know how much I miss German bread. Someone talked about bread at a gathering that I was visiting lately, and I was already excited about eating great bread. When I moved to Germany, I still remember that I did not know where to find ingredients to make Nigerian food. We have definitely come a long way with the availability of food items from different countries. How do I handle it?
Getting a visa and other immigration documents Sitting in the offices of the immigration officers who get to decide if you can stay in a country, is a very humbling experience. No matter how many times you have been in that situation, there is always a small thought in your mind wondering if this is the time you get denied a stay in a country and would have to leave. How do I handle it?
Being asked where you are from Interestingly the question I get asked the most is, "where are you from." I have gotten very used to the question and know how to distinguish the intent behind the question. Most of the time, people are curious because they hear a different accent when I talk, and other times people want to make me feel like I don't belong. Fortunately, I have received more of the questions asked with positive intent. How do I handle it?
Disconnecting from your social network Every time I talk to someone who grew up on the same city or country that they currently live in, I wonder what it is like. I have lived in 3 countries and many different cities, which has made me lose touch with the people I spent some time with. Social media has helped me keep in touch with some people I grew up with, but the connection is certainly not the same. How do I handle it?
Having to create a new home often One of the advantages of being an immigrant and living in different places is that you develop the skills to create a home where you find yourself. Over the years, I have learned not to be attached to a physical location and to find happiness wherever I am. When I moved to the US, I was able to leverage the lessons I learned living in Germany. And now, I have built home my own little family. How do I handle it?
Not having some privileges or access to resources When I was studying in Germany, I wished that I had access to other students' financial resources. It would have made my life much easier. There is a long list of other privileges that Immigrants do not know about or have access to. How do I handle it?
Understanding the experiences of other Immigrants There is something very powerful about being different and having experienced being the "only" or a minority. It makes you more sensitive to the experiences of others whose lives are different from majority groups. Honestly, being an immigrant has made me kinder and more respectful of people. How do I handle it?
Final Thoughts My experiences as an immigrant have made me a better human. I am very grateful to everyone on my journey that has been my companion. I am living the amazing life that I want to be living.
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In 2022, I am committed to sharing tools that have helped me thrive in my personal and professional life. One of the tools that have significantly impacted my professional journey is career coaching. Until a few years ago, I did not know it was for me. I worked with a career coach when I moved to the US, and five years later, I just completed six months of working with another coach.
In this blog post, I will share some of my experiences and lessons learned from working with career coaches. My goal is to help you see that this is a tool that is also accessible and can be beneficial to you. What is a Career Coach, and when does it make sense to work with one? Career coaches provide a range of services, from helping you figure out what you want to do to explore opportunities for professional growth to supporting you through the ups and downs of looking for a new job. In my experience, you can work with a coach at any time on your professional journey. If you are planning to keep growing, exploring new things, and taking on new opportunities, working with a coach will help set you up for success. What were my goals when I worked with a Career Coach? Interestingly the two times that I have worked with a career coach, I was in very different places in my career and had vastly different needs.
How did I approach my search for a Coach? As I have progressed in my career, I have become more intentional about planning and preparing for the moves I make. Before I started my search for a Coach, I thought about what I wanted to work on with them. I had three goals that I have wanted to accomplish. The actual search for a Coach was different the first time. While taking professional certification classes at UC Berkeley, one of the professors mentioned that she was a coach. We had an introductory call where I learned about her work, decided it was a fit, and we worked together for about six months. My second coaching experience was part of a program at work where we partnered with a company that had coaches in their Network. I was able to select my preferences and was offered a pool of coaches to choose from. Some of the things I look for in a coach include:
How to make the best of your coaching experience
What did I get out of my coaching experiences? Working with a coach has helped me grow professionally. Some of the outcomes of coaching include:
Final Thoughts I recently talked to one of my colleagues, and she shared that she never thought working with a coach was for her. It got me thinking about how hesitant I was to work with a coach initially and how much my investment has paid off. If you are unsure if coaching is for you, test it and see. A lot of coaches offer info sessions where you can learn more. Coaching is a tool that has helped me a lot, and I hope you will take advantage of it. Great Resources
Time for reflection
One of the greatest tools to help us accomplish our goals is learning. We need to learn and develop new skills to achieve our bold goals. As I have progressed in my Life and Career, learning has contributed to my success. I am a strong believer in continuous learning and have enjoyed adding knowledge and new skills to my toolkit.
In this blog post, we will explore five ways to make learning a part of your life. For more tips and resources, check out some of my previous posts on learning at the end of this post. Set learning goals every year We need to be very intentional about learning and building new skills. It takes planning and scheduling time actually to make it happen. When I plan my goals every year, I identify three new things that I want to learn and work towards them. My learning goals are typically geared towards developing skills that I do not have but know that I need to succeed professionally and personally. The process of planning what I want to learn excites and empowers me. Questions to consider
Find learning formats that work for you We all learn in different ways, and it is crucial to know how you learn best and go for them. I really enjoy learning from other people's experiences, taking formal trainings, and I also learn through teaching others. When I set my learning goals, I plan for trainings, podcasts, or books that will help me. Questions to consider
Find your learning community Having accountability partners is crucial to maintaining your learning mindset and accomplishing your learning. Knowing that you have people around you who support and encourage you to stick to your learning goals increases your chances of achieving them. I feel fortunate to have a community of people who enjoy learning and work towards their own goals. They provide me with motivation and support while I continue my learning journey. Questions to consider
Share what you learned In my experience, one way to amplify your learning is to share what you learned with others. Whenever I learn something new, I make it a point to write a quick summary and share it with people around me. Professionally, I get to share my knowledge with my team and mentees. In my private life, this blog is an amazing medium for me to share my learnings as well. It is great to be able to deepen my learning by sharing with others. Questions to consider
Continue learning To thrive and accomplish all our goals, we have a lot of learning to do. It is crucial for us always to be learning something new. Unlike when we were studying for degrees, we get to choose what we learn, when, and how. There are so many great resources available to support us on our learning journey. Questions to consider
Final Thoughts This year my professional learning goals are to develop my skills around leading teams and impact programs at scale, driving sustainable organizational culture change. And in my personal life, I want to learn about storytelling and writing a book. I am very excited to learn awesome things this year and continue growing. Call to Action
Great Resources This year has been going by very quickly. I think I say this every year. However, I still cannot believe it's been three months already. So much has happened in such a little amount of time. It is highly crucial not to lose sight of our goals with everything going on in our lives. A quarterly review is one of the amazing tools to help you stay on track.
In this blog post, we will complete a quarterly review with the help of 10 questions, and I will share an update on my top goals. Check out my other "Her Plan" posts for additional tips and resources to help you accomplish your goals and live your best life. 10 Questions for your intentional quarterly goals review Making time to reflect on the past three months will help you accomplish your goals. The exercise will provide you with information on how you're doing and insights on what to focus on for the following months. Some great questions to help you take stock of where you are compared to your plan include the following:
MCs Journey - Q1 2022 Goals Check-in 2022 has been a very busy year for me so far. Starting this year, I knew that I would have a lot going on in the first six months. However, I did not realize how much I would be juggling and its impact on me. Reflecting on my goals for the year, I have made progress on some and not on others. Generally, I am very thankful for where I am today. This year, I have learned that I need to pace myself not to burn out. Let's check in on my progress towards my top goals for 2022:
Final Thoughts Quarterly check-ins are a great opportunity to reflect on the progress you have made, celebrate your accomplishments, and plan for the upcoming months. We have nine more months to have a great 2022. Stay hopeful and take action towards accomplishing your goals. Call to Action
Happy International Women's Day to all you amazing Women!!! The theme for this year is "Break the Bias." Imagine a gender-equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias.
Being a woman is a crucial part of my identity and then layer on, being an immigrant black woman in Tech, people often do not know what to expect when they set me. I have been on the receiving end of many stereotypes based on people's perception of what someone that looks or sounds like me should be. Starting Point: What is Bias?
The first time I noticed bias growing up In Nigeria, where I spent my childhood, there were very strong gender norms. Women were expected to be primarily supporters of men and not be vocal. In most conversations, people reminded us of how important it was to be someone's wife and hardly any conversations about becoming the person you were destined to be. I was fortunate to grow up around women who defied the expectations of "what a woman could do." However, I knew society's expectations for me as a girl child. Deep inside, I always knew that I wanted to be a whole person and not be invisible. This led to a constant battle with who I am versus how I was expected to act. My experience with bias in a professional setting After graduating from university, I had no idea what I would experience when I began my career. I was very fortunate to start a job where I had a lot of responsibilities and a growth path. Most of the bias that I experienced had to do with a combination of my identities as a black woman. Especially at client visits, people expected the person in charge to be someone other than me. I did not fit the picture they expected of an experienced program manager. How I deal with bias My life experiences have made me very resilient. I learned not to let people's thoughts or stereotypes define me. My identity and self-confidence do not change because someone else sees me differently. I see experiencing bias as an opportunity to share my experiences with people to provide a different perspective. And more importantly, I have learned to move on quickly. How I am paying it forward Being on the receiving end of bias has made me very aware of the bias that others are experiencing. In my role as Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Program Manager today, I build strategy, plan, and lead programs that train people on how to be inclusive and respectful of others from many backgrounds. I feel very fortunate to be able to support others actively. Final Thoughts There is something very empowering about seeing women who have succeeded against all odds. All the women who have faced bias and still done great things - are heroes. Call to Action: What can we all do? We all play a very active role in making our world more equitable. Here are five things we can all do:
My life experiences living in multiple countries have shaped me significantly. Over the past months, I have reflected on my amazing journey over the past 21 years. It has been very empowering to remember all that I have been through, my accomplishments, the amazing relationships, and the places I have been.
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. First trip to Nigeria In 2006, my sister and I traveled back to Nigeria to see our mom. It had been five tough years of living and surviving in Germany. I worked hard to save the money for our tickets and still remember the excitement we felt as we packed our bags. Interestingly, my memories are mostly centered around the people we spent time with when we returned to Kaduna, the city we grew up in. I still remember sitting with our Grandma, who was very surprised and happy to see us. We also spent some valuable time with some of our childhood friends. When we were living, I was hoping we would visit more often. What did I learn?
A summer to remember I spent the summer of 2006 in England as a nanny for a family I met in my first year in Germany. After a few months of living in Germany, I met the mom on a train ride, and we bonded immediately. Having a friend who spoke English was special. Once she had her daughter, I babysat her before they moved back to the UK. This was actually the first income that I made in Germany. Fast-forward to when I spent the summer with them in Northern England years later. Taking care of a five-year-old over the summer was a lot of fun. However, I had no idea what the time away from Germany would do to me. This was the first time I re-evaluated where I was in life, and I realized I had to make some changes. What did I learn?
Trying times When I returned to Germany from Nigeria and England in 2006, things started unraveling very quickly. I knew that I had to make some tough choices. The first choice I made was to change the university course I was studying, which meant I had to move to a new city. I had an immense feeling of failure that stemmed from the fact that I expected to have completed my studies after being in Germany for six years, but I was far from it. Looking back, that was one of the pivotal moments that changed the trajectory of my life for good. What did I learn?
A year of significant changes One common theme was between my sixth year living in Germany and the US. In 2006, I made the major decision to change my university course and move to a new city. In 2020, the world was changed by a global pandemic, and my life was changed as I became a first-time mom. While the changes in both years were significant, I was in a much better place in 2020. The main difference was that I was surrounded with love, financially and professionally stable. That made my experience with significant change more pleasant. What did I learn?
Living through chaos Going through the first year of a global pandemic meant that we were mostly at home. I was very grateful that I was in a place where I was comfortable and could continue living my life with all the chaos happening in the world. It made me reflect on other phases of my life where I felt uncomfortable in my skin and home. Another great thing in my life was that I was in a very happy relationship which made the time at home enjoyable. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The person I was in 2006 was very different from who I was in 2020. However, my journey had a similar theme; I was going through many life changes. In 2006, I had hit a "wall" and was not making progress. Compared to 2020, I was progressing and entering an amazing phase in life. As I wrote this post, I was overcome with gratitude for how far I have come on my relocation journey. When people ask us what we want to improve ourselves, a long list of things comes to mind quickly. On the other hand, when we are asked what we love about ourselves, we need to dig deeper to discover what we like about ourselves. I have been on a journey of self-acceptance over the past few years. My strengths and flaws make me the unique person that I am. Accepting them has helped me feel whole and happier. I started seeing myself as a complete person with multiple facets.
In this blog post, we will explore how self-acceptance changes our outlook on life. This post continues our February series on loving ourselves. Starting point: What does self-acceptance mean?
The benefits of accepting ourselves Many great things happen once we start the journey of self-acceptance. #1: We are more confident Knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses changes how you see yourself. You exude a high level of confidence in who you are. Although you know you are not perfect, you are perfectly fine with it. #2: We know that failure or weaknesses do not define us With our flaws, it is crucial to know that they are one aspect of who we are but not the entirety of our identity. We spend so much time focusing on our flaws and allowing them to overshadow our good traits. You are a whole person that has a lot of good to offer. #3: We accept others more One of the biggest challenges we face in relationships is wishing people to change and become more like a mental image of them. After we accept ourselves, it is very easy to accept others for who they are. We don't expect perfection from others and appreciate their whole beings. #4: We are kind to ourselves When we stop wishing we were someone else and accept who we are, we show ourselves more compassion. Our self-talk changes from constant critique to being more understanding and kind to ourselves. We focus more on our strengths and are not as hard on ourselves. #5: We live to our full potential Believing that you are who you were meant to give your newfound energy. You go through life with a sense of positivity and hope. This change in perspective will fuel your life and help you accomplish more. Final Thoughts - MC's Journey A few years ago, I realized that self-acceptance is a gift that only I can give myself. I had gone through most of my life desiring traits that I saw in others. The constant thought of needing to get rid of my flaws to live a good life consumed my mind. It felt like I would never be the "perfect" person that I desired to be. One of the turning points was when I started spending more time getting to know my strengths. I felt energized by focusing on my strengths and celebrated who I was more. My perspective changed from thinking that my flaws defined me to embrace every aspect of my being. Time for Reflection What aspect of yourself do you want to accept? How will you remind yourself to accept who you are daily? How will you celebrate who you are? This month we are focusing on showing ourselves some love. One of the ways we can celebrate our awesomeness is by leveraging our strengths. It is very easy to talk about what we do not do well. However, focusing on our strengths requires being more intentional. In this blog post, we will explore ways to live in our strengths and be our best selves. Do you know your strengths? One of the things that changed my life was learning more about my strengths. I did not really know what I was good at for the longest time. Many things that people said to me growing up focused on what I could be doing better. I hardly heard, "oh, this is what you are very good at ."It took me actually going on a self-discovery journey to find out what my strengths were. The strengths finder self-assessment was one of the tools that gave me words to describe my strengths. I can now confidently answer the question when I am asked what I'm good at. Another helpful tool to discover my strengths has been feedback that people give me. I struggled with accepting positive feedback as fact. It has helped me see the strengths others see in me. Strategies to consider
Are you using your strengths? Knowing your strengths is great; however, you need to use your strengths. We all have many strengths that we don't think about or rarely use. I see our strengths as gifts that we were given to enrich ourselves, families, community, workplace, and lives of people we come in contact with. Using our strengths will help us feel more fulfilled. I seek opportunities to leverage my strengths in the jobs I do or how I spend my personal time. Strategies to consider
How are you building your strengths? We focus a lot on improving things we are not good at. There is always an opportunity for us to keep getting better at things that we do well. Interesting one of my strengths is that I am a learner. I invest time and explore new ways of learning every year. The better I get at learning, the more fulfilled I feel in my life. I have seen the benefits flow into other areas of my life, like my work. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts Over the past six years, I have been on the journey of discovering and leveraging my strengths. It has really changed my outlook on life and how I think about myself. Call to Action Over the next two weeks, find two hours to reflect on the following:
Great Resources In recent conversations with people around me, I have been hearing the sentiment that the year so far has been exhausting. Typically, when the new year starts, we are all excited and look forward to the wonderful things coming. I was wondering how January felt so long and incredibly busy. Feeling this tired at the beginning of the year was not the plan. It is time for a small reset to make sure we take care of ourselves and live the lives we want.
In this blog post, we will check in ourselves with the help of 10 questions and assess the changes that we need to make to take care of ourselves. In February, we will be focusing on loving ourselves. #1: Have you made time for yourself? It has been a hectic year so far, and it feels like we are running behind everything we want to do. In the last five weeks, I have not spent a lot of time with myself. I feel like I have been pouring myself into work caring for my family and have forgotten what I need. Self-care was something I planned to prioritize this year. However, I have not made the time yet. #2: Are you getting some rest? Sleep is often the first thing we cut when we get busy. Reflecting on the past weeks, I know that I did not get as much sleep as I needed because I was trying to meet self-imposed deadlines. One of the routines that I planned for this year was going to bed on time, but I have not followed through. #3: Are you connecting with great people? Human connection is a source of energy for a lot of us. I really miss spending quality time with people that I like. We are all rushing through life and have forgotten to check-in and have deep conversations with our people. #4: Have you worked towards your goals? You can be very busy but not making progress towards your goals. This is extremely easy when you are overworked or spending more time meeting other people's needs. Do not be discouraged; there are many more weeks for you to work towards your goals. #5: Are you acknowledging how you're feeling? Being honest about how you are feeling is not always easy. Sometimes, it is easier not to think about your feelings because it's hard to process. Admitting to being overwhelmed and exhausted was hard to do. Most of us are taught to suppress our feelings and act like everything is ok. #6: Have you set and communicated your boundaries? Saying yes to things we do not want to do or neglecting to guard our time is one of the causes of overwhelm. If we did some soul searching, we will realize moments when we have said yes when we should have said no. Setting your boundaries is very important to maintain your mental wellbeing. #7: Are you being inspired? Sometimes refreshing your mind helps you feel better when things are going differently than your plan. I really enjoy reading books or listening to podcasts because I get new insights and inspiration. This is typically a very quick way for me to get out of any rut that I am feeling. #8: Are you asking for and accepting help? As someone who does not know how to ask for help even when I need it, this is one that I struggle with. It seems like an easy thing to do; if you need assistance, you should accept. However, we need to be intentional about noticing when we need additional support. #9: Are you focusing on what is going well? Celebrating your progress over the past month will give you some perspective. Even if you do not really feel like it, you have made progress. It is very easy to focus on the negative and feel exhausted. Taking a moment to reflect on the goodwill help shift your perspective. #10: Are you being kind to yourself? Especially when things feel like they are not going as planned, we can be very hard on ourselves. It is important to give yourself some grace. Stop beating yourself up for what has not worked and focused on what you can do in the upcoming weeks. Final Thoughts I knew I had to write this post to process what I felt. In the past week, I reacted to a situation in a way that was not typical, and my body has been indicating that everything is not ok. It is time for me to do things differently to avoid burnout. The year will continue going this way if we don't make changes. The good news is that we have the opportunity to make changes now. Time to Reflect
Call to Action Let us start a two-week challenge to turn things around: choose one change you want to make in February to show yourself some love and avoid burnout. This year marks 21 years of my living in different countries. When I moved to Germany in 2001, I could never have imagined that I would be living in the US. Over the past seven years since I moved here, my life has changed in many ways, and I am enjoying it a lot. I am very grateful for my experiences on this incredible journey.
In this blog post, I will reflect on my seventh year in the US. This is part of my "Her Relocation" series, where I talk about my experience living in multiple countries over the past 20 years. Check out my previous posts about My Life in the US - Year 1, Year 2&3, Year 4, Year 5, and Year 6. Enjoying California We took our first vacation as a family of three, and it was one of the best experiences in my life. It was the first time I really enjoyed California and its beauty after seven years of living here. I have been on short trips to different cities, but this time it was different. The scenes driving down the pacific coast highway are the most beautiful ones I have seen in my life. We took our time, soaked up the sun, had good food, and bonded as a family. It was very important to me to start this new family tradition with our son, and I loved it. Missing my people This year more than ever, I missed my social network that is made up of family and close friends. The great people and connections that I have made have been one of the pillars of my life abroad. Being in the second year of a global pandemic made traveling to see family impossible. We kept waiting for things to get better so our son could finally meet our family and close friends in person. I am confident that we will be reunited with our people very soon. Experience with Immigration services There are times when I become very aware of my status as an immigrant. One of those moments is when I need to do anything regarding my visa or passport. This year, I had to extend my US green card and get a new German passport. It was the first time I needed to renew my passport outside Germany, and it went very smoothly. I really appreciated the German efficiency a lot. However, when it came to extending my green card, it was another story. The process is not transparent and long. I am still in the process of getting an extension even after six months. As I say that, I know of people who have been waiting much longer and appreciate my privilege of still having my legal residence status. Scary Political situations So far in my relocation journey, I had never seen anything like what happened at the US capitol on Jan 6. Interestingly, I was napping with my almost 3-month-old baby at that point, and when I woke up, I started following the events on TV. I sat there, totally surprised by what was happening. I moved to the US at a very interesting time and political climate. The events of that day were very scary and intensified the underlying concern I had with what was happening politically in the US since I moved here in 2015. Every day I hope for the best and acknowledge that this is a very complicated country with a lot of history. Access to healthcare One of my concerns about moving to the US was access to healthcare. I had heard of many horror stories, and then when the pandemic started in 2020, the US was not handling it very well. There were so many things that were not going right, from testing to containing the spread of the virus. When the vaccines became available, I was worried that it would be very complicated to get access. However, to my surprise, when the time came for vaccines to be made available, everything went smoothly. I really appreciate the access to free vaccines that some people don't have. Celebrating 20 years of living abroad Thinking back on my journey, I am very proud of where I am today. My experiences living in Germany and the US have shaped who I am today. I have had some difficult times when I could never have imagined the life I have now. I have met great people, visited places, learned a lot of lessons, and become who I was always destined to be. I am very excited for the years ahead, the countries I will have the opportunity to live in, and my experiences. Final Thoughts - 10 Lessons I learned In the seventh year of my life in the US, I learned a lot of great lessons, including the following:
Over the past two years, a lot of us have been in "survival mode." We have had to put some things on hold and focus on the basics of living in unprecedented times. It feels like we have been holding our breath for so long and waiting for life to "go back to normal." It is time to start living again while being safe. With that in mind, in 2022, there are some things that I want to do more of that have brought me joy and helped me feel fulfilled in the past.
In this blog post, we will discuss some steps to identify what you want to restart this year, as well as the five things I am restarting this year. How to create your restart list If you are wondering how to go about creating your list of things you did in the past and want to continue, here are some steps to consider:
MC's Journey: What is on my "Restart List"? Thinking about my list of things that I wanted to restart made me very excited. I had missed doing them. The five things on my "restart list" are the following: #1: Prioritizing Self-care Especially with the pandemic and having a baby, I had to stop doing things that were part of my self-care routine. Although some of them are available and safe to do, I found that I did not make time. I remember how good I felt when I prioritized self-care. In this phase of my life, I need to redefine what self-care means to me and plan for it. What is my plan? To make it happen, I will incorporate more self-care into my daily routine and schedule time once a month for things that take a little longer. Resource [Blog Post] Make Self-care a priority #2: Doing what I love doing Working on my passion projects gives me a lot of energy. I really enjoy writing my blog, making videos, speaking at conferences, sharing my knowledge, and connecting with people in my community. Sadly, I stopped doing many of these things over the past two years due to the pandemic and needed to reprioritize my time to care for my son. This year, I have many opportunities to do things that I love again, and I want to seize them. What is my plan? I really want to reconnect with people on a deeper level in the near term. I am blessed to have so many amazing people around me who I can reconnect with, and I also look forward to meeting new people. Resource [Blog Post] How to find or revive your passion #3: Learning and getting inspired One of my top five strengths is being a learner. I am great at it and have incorporated different learning goals into my yearly planning in the past. In 2021, I was not intentional about learning like I usually do. It has left me with a desire to learn more this year. Over the holidays, I went back to reading books and listening to podcasts. It has been a while since I last read. The inspiration that I get when I learn and discover new ways of thinking has helped propel my life. What is my plan? I want to continue my new routine of reading every evening and listening to podcasts while doing chores. I also plan to attend at least one virtual event or conference. Resources [Blog Post] How to be a life-long Learner #4: Planning long term If you know me personally or have read my blog posts, you know that I am a planner. Creating plans in my personal and professional life brings me a lot of joy. I started creating something I called an orientation plan about ten years ago. It was a 3 - 5 year plan that outlined the high-level things that I wanted to do or achieve in my life. It gave me a sense of direction, and I changed it as I evolved in my life. Over the past two years, I have focused my energy on surviving and living in the present and have missed planning the past year. I am at a pivotal time in my life, and I know that I need my orientation plan again. What is my plan? The first step is to refresh my 3 -5 year orientation plan. It will take a lot of soul-searching to see what I want to do and who I want to be five years from now. Resource [Book] The Long Game: How to Be a Long-Term Thinker in a Short-Term World by Dorie Clark #5: Dreaming big and setting bold golds As I planned for 2022, I started experiencing a strange and familiar fear that comes up when things are going well, and I have big things planned. I was afraid to have too much hope or do new things, so I was not disappointed. As a result, I planned very "safe" goals. I know from past years that when I set bold goals and took risks, I accomplished things that I could never have imagined. I do not want to stunt my growth and possibilities because of self-doubt. What is my plan? To get back into the mindset of working towards bold goals, I will reflect on my journey and what I have accomplished so far. While I work towards my goals, I will also practice gratitude and not let fear stop me from being brave. Resource [Book] How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown Final Thoughts Writing my "restart list" got me thinking of how fortunate we are to do things we love. Some of the things on our list may seem small, but what really matters is their impact on us. Ask yourself if it brings you joy, makes you excited for the future, helps you grow or highlight your strengths. If it does, then the objective has been met. We all deserve to live our best lives and achieve greatness. A Moment to Reflect
As I started planning for 2022, I knew that I needed to do things differently to thrive and accomplish my goals. As a planner, I need a structured approach to this challenge. I believe that to succeed, we need to put systems in place to do things differently and not just let them happen by chance.
In this blog post, we will explore the process of identifying what you need to do differently, and I will share three things I plan to do to set myself up for success this year. How to discover the changes you need to make to accomplish your goals It is essential to think through what you want to do differently as you start the year. Sharing some of the questions you can ask yourself to analyze what you need to put in place to thrive:
MC's Journey This is one of my posts where I share something that I am working on in real-time. Although I do not have it all figured out, I would like to share my process with you and hopefully some of the fantastic results down the line. #1: Getting additional support One of the areas where I realized that I needed help was childcare. Over the past fifteen months, my husband and I have taken care of our son while we were both working full-time jobs. We are very fortunate to have made it work as I primarily worked from home. Our son has also integrated himself perfectly into our lifestyle, and we are a great team. However, as he grows older and wants to explore more, we want to give him the opportunity to keep learning and have some more dedicated care while I get work done. What is my plan? We just found part-time care for our son. Very early, we knew that when we were ready as a family, we would want to have someone to help out for a few hours in our home. Being a babysitter for many years, even through college, I expected the process to be more straightforward for me. I pushed it out of my mind for as long as I could, and then one night, I decided to face my fears and start the search for a nanny. As I write this, I am very aware of the privilege to have the option available to us. We are willing to make this huge investment to ensure that I do not burn out trying to do too many things at once. I am learning a lot through this process. The biggest lesson is that I need to trust the person and the process. Like others entrusted their children into my care when I was a babysitter, I have to do the same thing now. So far, the transition has been smooth, and our son, who has not been exposed to people due to the pandemic, is adapting very well. #2: Setting Boundaries around my time Like many people around the world who have the privilege of working from home, I find myself working very long hours. My workdays consist of caring for our son while running meetings, events or getting project work done. I feel that the times I pause work to feed or care for him needs to be made up for after he goes to bed. However, the truth is that I end up working much longer than I did on regular workdays without a child. I pack my workdays so full and always feel like there is still much more to do. There is a term for what I have been doing; it is overworking. Over the holidays, I reflected and realized that I worked for 10 - 14 hours a day. This is subtracting the time that I spent caring for my son. And that has led to me not getting as much rest as I need. What is my plan? I will be limiting the time that I spend working every day. It will be hard to walk away from work that I think needs to get done. I will also be eliminating the constant sense of urgency by prioritizing my tasks and setting realistic timelines. #3: Starting new routines There are things that I want to start and others that I want to stop doing. Knowing myself, the best way to do this would be to develop some new routines. I am a creature of habit, and things are more manageable if I do them in the same way regularly. Although I need to make relatively minor changes, I want them to stick. One of the ways that I am thinking about my new routines is that I need to create space for things that make me feel more efficient, energized, and inspired. The great news is that I have the resources I need to start my new habits, and what I need to do is start. What is my plan? I have started new habits and routines that are good for me. I want to start a few habits, including reading, going outdoors, and resting more. I need to create the time to do the things that help my mental and physical well-being. Final Thoughts This year started very busy, and I already have to remind myself of what I committed to doing differently. Writing them down has been an excellent way to keep them top of mind. I am excited to see where this journey takes me and look forward to sharing some of my learnings with you. Time to Reflect What are three things that you want to do differently this year? How will you make sure you take care of yourself this year? How will you celebrate your progress this year? Happy New Year, and Welcome to 2022! I really hope this year brings lots of growth, laughter, and happiness to you and your family.
There is something powerful about starting a new year. It often feels like a wonderful opportunity to be hopeful, reset and start new things. We are all truly fortunate to be alive and able to live out our dreams in a new year. Although the last two years have been different and challenging with a global pandemic, I am still extremely optimistic about this new year. At the beginning of every year, I like to share my goals and vision. In this blog post, we will focus on our 2022 goals and how to start the year right. In my other posts in January, we will plan to accomplish our goals. How to start your year right To have the best year we have ever had, there are crucial actions we can take to achieve our goals. Some of which are listed below.
MC's Journey - My plan for 2022 Goal setting is one of my favorite activities in both my private and professional life. Each year, I set time aside and document goals in all the important aspects of my life. This year, planning was slightly different. My goal list is typically quite long as I seek to accomplish as much as possible. However, as I listed what I wanted to accomplish this year, I kept thinking about the word "sustainably". The thought of accomplishing my goals while avoiding burnout was front and center for me. With that in mind, I decided to have a shorter list of goals and prioritize setting up a support system to make sure I am taking care of myself. I will share more about this in my future posts. Over the past years, I have shared my goals as a way to commit and also have you all as my accountability partners. I am excited about growing and learning how to do things differently in 2022. My theme for 2022 is "be brave to take on great things and take care of myself". Some of the high-level goals that I want to accomplish are:
Final Thoughts Over the past two years, our world and lives have changed significantly. We have had to redefine what is important to us and possible with the resources at our disposal. Now is a great time to reflect on what really matters to you. For me this year, I really want to enjoy life in the process of accomplishing my goals. I would like to invite you on this journey to plan for our best year yet. In the upcoming blog posts, I will share about what I am restarting in 2022 and how I am setting myself up for success. Time to Reflect
Great resources Check out some of my other posts that will help you start your year right This year has been great for me. As I reflect on the year, I am amazed and extremely grateful for everything I experienced and accomplished. It was significantly different from the past years. One major change was that we went through the whole year as a family of three and were responsible for caring for a little human.
In this blog post, we will reflect on this year, and I will share my 2021 retrospective with you. How to intentionally reflect on your past year I would like to invite you to join me as I reflect on my experiences this year. The following five steps will guide you through the process of holistic and intentional reflection.
MC's Journey - 2021 Retrospective Reflecting on this year, I cannot believe all that has happened in my life and at work. My theme for 2021 was "go big and explore new things." Thinking of what would make me proud at the end of the year, I wrote that "I would be proud that I navigated motherhood, work, and my business like a champ." It feels great to know that they both came true in unexpected ways, and I learned a lot of lessons on the way. Goals: What were the top five things I planned to accomplish in 2021? Every year, I write down a list of goals that I want to accomplish in different areas of my life. Looking back now, I probably had too many things that I wanted to achieve in a year with major life changes.
Highlights: What went well?
Lowlights: What did not go as planned?
Lessons Learned: What did I learn in 2021? It is crucial for me to reflect on what I learned from experiences that did not go as planned. Some of the lessons I learned include:
What will I be doing differently in 2022? I like to take action based on the lessons I learned to increase my chances of success in the new year.
Final Thoughts I am very proud of myself this year. It has been a very busy and intense year. I am taking the next three weeks off to recharge, celebrate Christmas with my family, and prepare for an amazing year ahead. My first 2022 blog post will be published on January 11. A special note to you Thank you very much for being part of my journey this year. Writing these blog posts is very important to me. It is one way that I stay connected to my community and the people I really care about. Take care of yourself and see you in 2022! Over the past months, I have reflected on and shared my 20-year relocation journey. I cannot believe how far I have come since I first arrived in Germany in August 2001. My experiences over the years have helped me grow and changed my outlook on life. Comparing the fifth year of my journey living in the US in 2019 vs. life in Germany back in 2005, these were very different years, one of them filled with the feeling of feeling hopeless, and the other was focused on finding balance.
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Failing and being scared to make a change Getting through university was a struggle for me. It took me much longer than I planned to find a course I enjoyed and graduate. In 2003 I started studying my first course, Computer & communications technology, at the University of Saarbrucken. Although by 2005, I knew that it was not the right course for me, I was afraid to make the necessary change. My situation was quite complicated as I had to work to make money to take care of my sister and me. The additional responsibilities prevented me from focusing solely on studying. I can still remember wondering if I would ever graduate from university. What did I learn?
Celebrating key milestones My twin sister and I hosted a small birthday get-together when we turned 20 in 2005. I remember how special it was to celebrate with some of our friends in our hostel shared kitchen. This was the first birthday that I really celebrated after five years in Germany. Interestingly, I was going through an internal crisis because I was not where I expected to be at that age. The main disappointment was that I had not graduated after five years in Germany. I really needed the celebration to remind me that I was not doing too bad and had great people in my life. What did I learn?
Realizing my dream company was becoming a nightmare In 2019, only a few months into working at a dream company, things did not feel right. I felt like I had made a horrible mistake by leaving my highly successful consulting career and joining a new company. It seemed like I had taken a step back in my career, which was not what I wanted in any way. My inner fighter reminded me of how I had to find my place, especially in difficult situations. One thing was sure; I knew I had to make a change. I put all my energy into looking for a new role that was more aligned with what I am passionate about. And after about three months of searching and interviewing, I found a new role. I was finally able to appreciate the opportunity to work at this company. What did I learn?
Making a substantial financial investment One of my dreams was to one day invest in something significant. Where I was in life in 2005, I could never have imagined being in a financial state where I could invest in property. It was one of the scariest things I have done in my life. Although it was for a good cause, the process was incredibly stressful, and I was unprepared. Reflecting on this experience, I expected to be elated after things were finalized, but I was not. It took me a while to see how much making this move was a huge win. What did I learn?
Health Challenges My experiences at work and with my investment caused me a lot of stress in 2019. I did not know how serious things were until I started having continuous pains. The quality of my life was impacted because I was going too fast and not managing my stress. Here I am working at a great company and investing in my first property, but I was suffering. My body started reacting to stress very severely, and I knew I had to make changes. I had to change what I ate, which was a huge deal for me. The most notable change I made was identifying my stressors and avoiding the ones I could. What did I learn?
Following my passion In 2019, I started my YouTube channel, which was a dream that I had had for a while. It felt like a wonderful way to grow my portfolio after launching my blog the previous year. Learning how to plan videos, film, edit, and publish videos was a highlight. I remember going to the studio diligently because I wanted to make sure that I invested in myself and lived out my passion. Somehow, I was in the right place at the right time, and things were finally falling into place. Living and working in the US provided me with opportunities that I would not have had access to in Germany. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The person that I was in 2005 was quite different than who I was in 2019. However, my journey had a similar theme; I struggled to find comfort with all the changes that I was going through. In 2005, my worries were around finishing school and finances. Compared to 2019 when I needed to find a role at work that I really enjoyed. As I wrote this post, I was reminded of all the amazing people by my side in these phases of my life and relocation journey. Talking about finances has become something I really enjoy doing. It used to be an extremely uncomfortable topic for me. However, I realized that we can only do better when we start having honest conversations about money. In our quest to accomplish financial independence, there are a lot of great things that we can do.
In this blog post, we will explore the five lessons I have learned about money over the past years. #1: Have a healthy relationship with money It took me a while to realize that I did not have a healthy relationship with money. Thinking about my finances caused me a lot of fear and anxiety. I used to say that my greatest fear was being broke. These feelings dictated how I treated money in my life. I was overly conservative with spending my money and was hesitant to make bold money moves like investing my money. Strategies to consider
Resource #2: Save your money Growing my savings was one of the first lessons I learned on my path to financial independence. I knew that I had to be disciplined about saving my money to get out of my constant lack. I started with saving a small amount and increased over time. Being able to achieve my saving goals has helped me become financially independent. Strategies to consider
Resource #3: Spend money on the right things For the longest time, I held onto my money and did not want to spend it. Over the last few years, I have learned that I need to spend my money on things that make me comfortable, help me grow and live a great life. It took me a while to learn this valuable lesson. Strategies to consider
Resources
#4: Learn about finances and grow your knowledge There is a lot we can all learn about finances. I had to seek out information about finances as I started making my decisions when I moved to Germany. Talking about money was not an open topic when I was growing up. Many people that I speak to also share similar experiences as well. I have prioritized educating myself and learning about financial strategies that are new to me. Strategies to consider
Resource #5: Know your status and set financial goals At any given time, it is particularly important to know what your financial status is. Knowing your income, debt, expenses, and other aspects of your finances is the minimum. It might feel scary to take stock of your status. However, having clarity will help give you some peace. Once you know where you stand today, it will be easier to plan for the future. As part of your goal-setting process, ensure you have your financial goals as well. Strategies to consider
Resource Final Thoughts To accomplish financial independence and growth, we need to be very intentional. The great news is that we have the power to achieve our financial goals. Time for Reflection
This time of the year is a great time to pause and reflect on our lives. 2021 had been a big year for me. Looking back, I am incredibly grateful for everything that I have had the privilege to do and experience this year. I have learned to be very intentional about celebrating the good that is happening in my life. It is very easy to focus on what is not going well and forget the awesome experiences.
In this blog post, I will share the ten things that I am grateful for. I am excited to share a snapshot of my "gratitude list" for this year. #1: Living in good health Especially with everything going on in our world today and the global pandemic, I have come to appreciate being alive and healthy even more. I am grateful that I wake up every morning and get to live my life without any major health issues. #2: Having our son Going through the first year of his life and watching our son grow is something I feel very blessed to experience. He has brought a lot of love and joy to our lives. The gift of having a child has changed my life for the best over the past months. #3: Having amazing family and friends My social circle is pretty small, but it has the best people for me. The most important person that I am grateful for is my husband. He has been my biggest supporter throughout this big year. I would not have been able to work and take care of a baby without him. #4: Being able to work from home The last time I physically went into an office was in March 2020. I am very grateful for the fact that I have been able to work from home and care for our son. Although it has not been easy, I appreciate that I can do both at the same time from our home. #5: Being financially stable Every day, I appreciate that we do not have to worry about meeting our basic needs. It has taken a lot of discipline and intentionality to grow my finances. The work that I put in is paying off. I am thankful that I have enough for myself and to support others are well. #6: Growing my career The growth that I have experienced in my career over this past year has been phenomenal. I have gotten to work on many impactful projects with amazing people. Having success in my career has brought me a lot of joy and helped me see that I can do this. #7: Enjoying the small things Recently, I noticed that I was feeling more like myself. I was able to enjoy the small things in my life again. Things like food, music, movies, walks, and more bring me joy. I am very grateful that those small things make me smile. #8: Progression on my journey As I have reflected on my journey, I have become more grateful for all the experiences that I have been through. Celebrating the good, bad, and ugly has made me appreciate how far I have come. The lessons I learned have helped me build a great life. #9: Working on my passion projects One of the fears I had when I became a mother last year, was that I would not be able to continue working on projects that I care about. Being able to write my blog, share my story and build connections has been something that has made me feel fulfilled. #10: Being happy and hopeful for the future I can confidently say that I am happy with where I am in my life today. I was not always able to say that. When I think about what the next year holds for me, I am very hopeful. There are many great things that I am excited to do and experience. I am grateful to be in a place in my life where I can be myself and live the life I desire. Final Thoughts We have a lot to be grateful for, even though it may be hard to see sometimes. Whenever you feel down or discouraged, remind yourself of the good that is happening in your life. Time for Reflection
When I think about building a successful career, I focus on things that are in my control. Knowing that I can drive my career makes me feel empowered. Recently, there have been a considerable number of articles about the great wave of people quitting their jobs to find something new. The desire to do work that we enjoy has become even more amplified. Developing your career is a wonderful way to infuse some energy and excitement into your professional life.
In this blog post, we will explore tools that have helped me grow my career. Check out my other "Her Career" blog posts for more tips and resources for a thriving career. Tool #1: Learning & Skill building One of the best pieces of advice that I received was that learning did not end once I got my degree and that it was important to continue learning. I took it to heart and made learning a part of my career development toolkit. Taking courses, trainings and certifications have helped elevate my professional profile a lot. I set a yearly goal to learn something new that will grow my career and make it happen. We all learn in different ways, so it is crucial to find what works best for you. Questions to consider
Tool #2: Mentorship & Sponsorship In last week's post, I wrote about the value of mentorship and how much it has impacted my life positively. As you grow your career, you want to have people who can advise and guide you. Getting additional perspective from your mentors on your career decisions will help you accomplish big things and see things clearer. Questions to consider
Tool #3: Career Coaching Reflecting on my career journey, one of the most pivotal moments was when I moved to the US in 2015. I quickly realized that I needed to do things differently in my career to thrive in this new country The new role was bigger than I had in the past, and I knew I needed some support. Working with a career coach helped me develop my plan, share my fears, and understand the professional system in the US better. As I plan for my next big career transition, I am working with a coach to prepare for the journey ahead. Questions to consider
Tool #4: Professional Network The people who are your companions on your professional journey are very important. Especially in the times we live in, building professional networks takes a lot more work and requires us to practice new relationship-building strategies. You can leverage your network to connect with people who have similar professional interests and share their knowledge. I enjoy having the opportunities to connect with my professional network and hearing about their experiences. Questions to consider
Tool #5: Career development plan Having a plan for your career will help you ensure that you are growing and developing. Documenting your career goals and checking in on your progress regularly should be something you do. It is easy to lose sight of your career ambitions when you do not have a plan. Questions to consider
Great Resources
Call to Action
Having great mentors can be a life-changing experience. When you talk to some people, they can readily name their mentors and share how they have supported them on their journeys. A few years ago, I did not have mentors and did not know their value. Once I found my first mentor, I wanted to scream from a hilltop about how mentorship has helped me on my journey. Years later, I have multiple mentors, and I am thankful that I do.
In this blog post, we will explore how to get the most value from your mentors on your personal and professional development journey. Starting point: What does mentorship mean?
How to leverage your mentors #1: Gain different perspectives It helps to have someone who can help you see things a little differently in some life situations. Hearing how someone else views a particular situation you are in; can highlight something you might not have considered. You can see their perspective as a gift to you to help you increase your chances of succeeding. Strategies to consider
#2: Get Inspired and energized When you think about the perfect mentors, think about people who inspire you to do more and take on new challenges. There is something powerful about having role models to whom you can look up. Seeing them accomplish remarkable things will serve as a source of motivation. Strategies to consider
#3: Get feedback on your plans Especially when you are planning a significant move in your life or career, it is especially important to have people with whom you can discuss your plans. They should be people with who you are comfortable sharing your ideas with and whose feedback you trust. Strategies to consider
#4: Get support and encouragement With all the magnificent work you are doing, it helps to get some positive reinforcement from your mentors. Knowing that you have people who are on your side and cheering you on feels incredibly good. You do not have to go on your journey alone. Let your mentors be there for you. Strategies to consider
#5: Offer them something in return The best relationships are the ones where all parties benefit from being in them. This is the same for mentorship relationships. It is important for you to not only receive support or advice from your mentors but also give them something of value. It could be in the form of providing them with your perspective, singing their praises, or helping them accomplish their own goals. Strategies to consider
Final Thoughts: MC's Mentorship Journey Having mentors in my personal and professional life has taught me a lot. They have supported me as I navigated some tough times in my life and have also been there to celebrate my successes. I have learned that we may need new mentors in different life phases and that mentors might look quite different than you expected. Call to action
Great Resources How to Find a Mentor Who Can Accelerate Your Career 10 Tips for Finding a Mentor—and Making the Relationship Count The Right Mentor Can Change Your Career. Here's How to Find One What’s the Right Way to Find a Mentor? What Exactly Is the Mentor's Role? What Is the Mentee’s? Continuing my celebration of 20 years living abroad with another part of my story. Comparing the fourth year of my journey living in the US vs. life in Germany. Reflecting on my life in 2004 versus where I was in 2018. These were very different years, one filled with the feeling of being lost, and the other was making bold moves while living out my dreams.
In this blog post, I will share the factors that made my experiences different and the lessons that I learned. Check out my other Her Relocation blog posts about my experiences living in Nigeria, Germany, and the US. Getting out and seeing things differently In 2004, my sister and I left Germany for the first time after living there for almost three years. We spent the summer in London caring for six children who were on vacation. When I think back on my journey, that trip was a turning point for me. I needed to be in a different place away from my life. Having candid conversations with people who knew me during my childhood about where I was in my life was special. We also had the opportunity to travel to have some fun when we visited Disneyland in France on the hottest days I have experienced. What did I learn?
Going back to Nigeria Visiting Nigeria in 2018 for the first time in 12 years was spectacular. I was a very different person and had been through a lot since I visited the last time. Eating some great Nigerian food was one of my highlights. I got to eat things that I had missed being away from Nigeria for so long. So many things reminded me of my childhood and the great memories I had. The sounds and the scents took me back many years. What did I learn?
Traveling back to my other home country After living in the US for over three years, I finally went back to Germany for a family celebration. Going back to the city of Saarbrucken, where I spent the early years of my time in Germany, was phenomenal. A lot had changed in my life between when I lived there and my visit in 2018. I enjoyed shopping at my local ALDI grocery store, driving past some of the places I lived, going to the restaurants I ate at, and seeing people who were part of my life. What did I learn?
Accomplishing things I never thought I would There are some places in life that I could never imagine myself being. In 2018, my life changed in a significant way when I started a new job. I had been planning a professional move for a few years and was extremely surprised when it finally happened. The person I was in 2004 had no idea where I would be 14 years later. I wish I knew everything would work out better than I could have ever imagined. What did I learn?
Having a companion on my journey My sister was my companion for the early part of my journey living abroad. In 2004, we were living together and struggling to settle into our lives in Germany. Fast forward to 2018, living with my husband in the US. Thinking back on my journey, my twin sister and husband have been very instrumental and have supported me in many ways. I am very grateful that I did not have to go through all my experiences together. What did I learn?
MC's Moment of Reflection The person that I was in 2004 was very different than who I was in 2018. In 2004, I did not know where I wanted to go in my life and felt very lost. Compared to 2018, I lived the life I wanted and enjoyed the fruit of my hard work. If my younger self knew that everything would be awesome, and I will be happy. |
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